Scratched / Better Living Through Chemistry

by SwiperTheFox

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Random, DJ P0N-3
Length: 3654

A fancolt chases after DJ Pon-3 and finds a surprise instead... but far from an unwelcome one.

DJ Pon-3 has thousands of fans, many of them drawn to her beauty as much as her music. One particular fancolt, Juneberry, manages to make it backstage at the latest Ponyville concert. He gets a weird surprise when he comes eye to eye with a pony whom he thinks is his idol. Things get pretty weird pretty fast.

Warning: contains rule 63, straight sex, gay sex, and general silliness. Image is from the great WillDrawForFood1 at deviantart.com

Published 2012-03-29 12:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-29 12:34:02 UTC

The Whole Thing

"Hey!" Juneberry screamed, flipping his hooves in the air, "Look over there!"

"Oh, please," the beefy security stallion remarked, slanting his head over and twisting his greyish black mane over his inky black coat, "You seriously think that I'd fall for that old line?" He shifted over to the left. "Do you really think that I'd blink, move over, and point at the empty hallway like that?" He sniffed, letting out a little chuckle as he gestured. "What? You think I'm some kind of--"

The security stallion found himself looking back at a little puff of dust where Juneberry had stood.

"Sucker?"

Juneberry scurried up the stairs and hurled himself underneath a rack of coats. He shimmed a few feet backward onto the cold metal wall. I guess the security goon is gone. The coast looked pretty clear. Juneberry let out a happy sigh. He's too embarrassed to follow me. That oaf. Juneberry hopped up and stuck his head through a frilly pink jacket.

A couple musician ponies shuffled to and fro. None of them paid any attention. He might as well had been another one of the crumbled candy wrappers on the floor. "Good, good," Juneberry muttered, "where the horseapples is DJ Pon-3?" His eyes ran across the pale grey and black hallways going everywhere. He perked his ears, hearing the set starting to really close out. Now has to be my chance! "She's coming... coming..." He slipped a little, knocking a mop down his frizzy white mane and pinning this short tail against the coat rack.

He watched in the distance as a big side door suddenly opened. His eyes bulged as he gazed at a greyish blue blur. It's her! His insides just seemed to turn to goo even from just being in the same room as that sensual goddess of the dancefloor. He slid his hooves against the ground helplessly.

"No, not my tail," he moaned, feeling caught against the metal coat frame. He curled around and bucked against the wall. He slid down the main hall, ponies hopping out of his way left and right, and crashed into a pile of cables. "Ow..."

Before he could even really think, Juneberry spotted a little red sign to his left read 'Performer Lounge -- PRIVATE'. He lunged to the side and gripped the handle. He held on tight as the door swung open, seemingly by itself. He kept hanging on as an incredibly tall, skinny mare with cheeks like a chipmunk scurried out, stepping on him like a rug. Whistling, he suddenly remembered his mission.

Juneberry sped into the lounge and slammed the door behind him. He shut his eyes, grinning from ear to ear. Sweet Celestia's mane! I made it! I'm with Scratch! He opened his eyes. I'm... here? He took a gulp. He felt less than impressed moment by moment as his eyes bounced from the dripping ceiling to the cracked bulbs around some mirrors to the layers of half-drunken botttles on the wall. He smacked his hooves against his head.

"Oh, again," said a soft, sweet voice across the room, "I'll never get that beat right." Juneberry's eyes narrowed, focused just like nails about to be shoved onto a plank. The only other pony in the room stayed perfectly still, sitting on a gigantic chair and hunched over a mini-turntable set-up. Junebug took in the beautiful blue tail, bouncing up so seductively. His eyes ran along the supple flank up the musical pony's back.

Scratch! "I'm sorry that I just ran in here," Juneberry began. He stepped closer to the grey bodied, blue maned musical wonder. Actually, I'm not sorry one bit. "I hope that I'm not disturbing you." I hope that Equestrian Monthly is right: you take the occasional colt that strikes your fancy to your room after a show for some 'cooling off'. Juneberry felt as if he just hovered in the air, with his hooves lifted by pure release.

"Not at all," the grey pony, in that wonderful voice, said back. Juneberry couldn't get enough of that voice as long as he lived. He still wished that that grey pony would turn around.

"I just have to say that I'm your biggest fan. I love 'Here Lies Love'. I love 'On the Floor at the Boutique'. I love 'Camber Sands'," Juneberry said. I love you. I look at at your poster every other night when I'm biting into a sock, my hooves dripping wet. "I'm so honored to be here, just with you." I'm hoping that you've never read my fanfiction.net story where you and the alicorn version of me solve mysteries together with our magical flying umbella.

"Ugh, you flatter me too much," the grey pony replied. Juneberry squealed with joy as the chair slowly span around. He glanced down at those long, feminine hooves-- although looking more muscular than he thought-- and moved up those legs-- also kind of stockier than he thought-- along that grey side and that beautiful face-- a lot wider and broader than he thought as well. Juneberry couldn't put his hoof on it, but he knew something had to be really wrong.

"Glad to see... you..." Juneberry muttered. No, it's just not right. Everything feels off. Or is it? Maybe I'm just going insane-- from meeting her. Maybe it's going to my senses. "My name's Juneberry."

"Nice to meet you," the other pony replied, taking of the huge purple and black shades. Juneberry blinked. He glared at the soft, yellow eyes of the stallion in front of him.

"But... but.. but..." Juneberry whispered, feeling as if his heart had been ripped out, thrown into a tin, and baked at four-hundred degrees. He forced himself not to try. "Where's DJ Pon-3? Who the horseapples are you?"

"I'm DJ Chemistry, you silly pickle," he replied, popping out his chair and holding out a hoof. Juneberry grazed it, still looking pale and barely able to move. "I guess you're the first pony to find out the truth, nothing ever came up through the whole set. Nothing. They all bought it." Chemistry giggled, shaking his short, electric blue mane over his horn.

Juneberry felt such a sea of emotions going through him. He gazed at Chemistry as the stallion sauntered around the room twoards the door. The moves looked so graceful, so feminine. He has to be a mare in a stallion's body. Magic or something... I just can't handle it. Juneberry's mouth watered as he saw Chemistry's tail rubbing up against that stallions cuddly looking flanks.

"Have you pierced together our little plan yet?" Chemistry asked, leaning up against the door. He swatted his hoof against the latch, locking the two stallions inside the dressing room. Juneberry immediately felt even more confused.

"Our plan?" Juneberry had to keep repeating it in his head. She's a he. She's a he. She's a he. He copped a look between Chemistry's legs as that pony magically lifted over a bottle of champagne, seeing the stubby greyish sheath that he expected. Juneberry's stomach turned into knots as he realized that Chemistry's little thing somehow made the androgenous pony look even hotter.

"We swap performances, working in two places just hours after each other when we shouldn't be able to," Chemistry said, curling up his face smug and shrinking his beady little yellow eyes. "Then, we do simultaneous concerts in both Canterlot and Ponyville that freak out everypony. We'll finally appear on stage with each other at the South by Southwest Conference. Together!" Chemistry chuckled, almost bouncing from feeling so giddy. "They'll lose it just in time for our joint EP!"

"That sounds... underhoofed and low..." Juneberry replied. Don't look at her colthood. Don't look at her colthood. Don't look at her colthood. He panted a little, finding his head leaning down all the same. He blinked. He slanted his head back and locked eyes with Chemistry.

"Underhoofed and low is right," Chemistry said, smiling and showing that he knew exactly what happened inside Juneberry's head. His voice seemed to become even more feminine by the moment. "Care for a drink?" Chemistry magically lifted up the bottle.

It looked more expensive than Juneberry's whole month's salary. He found himself nodding without even thinking. Chemistry, sitting just a few feet from the other pony on a huge rug, magically brought over two glasses and poured. As they shared a drink, Juneberry felt as if he'd have a heart attack any second.

"I... I know you..." Juneberry said, "You had that EP 'Going Out of My Head' from last year?" Chemistry clapped his hooves. "Third bestselling album in Equestrian history? That massive hit, "Beat Box"? You're like an instution in Hoofington, right?" Chemistry grinned, gulping down his whole glass. "Or, at least, you were that before your little makeover."

"Enough beating around the bush," Chemistry said, flicking his ears and smiling even wider. He hovered right in front of Juneberry. The pony's heart seemed to stop as Chemistry picked up the bottle and held it right above their heads. He shut his eyes. He felt the remaining dribbles of champagne going around his neck and right shoulder.

"Bush..." Juneberry repeated, going into something like an out of body expierence.

"I'm not DJ Pon-3," Chemistry said, rubbing his hooves against Juneberry's chest. The other stallion moaned a little. "But, I still need to 'cool off' with a lucky colt after my sets."

"I'm..." Juneberry whispered. He felt Chemistry's soft, marshmellow-like hooves making little spirals upon his body. He smelled the other stallion's breath, kisses staring along his shoulder. Juneberry had never been so elated in his life. "Wait..." He opened his eyes, flopping flat down upon the rug underneath them. "I'm straight."

"More like you're leaning a little to the left," Chemistry remarked, giggling. Juneberry glanced down his belly over between his legs. His own colthood propped up with full strength, curling over towards Chemistry's hooves just inches away in the air. I just... I just don't know... Do I really want to have my cherry popped by a colt? His heart thumped in his chest so fast that it almost hurt.

Chemistry leaned over, bringing his own, slightly shorter colthood up against Juneberry's thigh. He playfully stroked against Juneberry's chest and belly, panting lightly. He brought his head down and licked the rest of the champagne off of Juneberry's neck.

"C-c-can y-you..."

Chemistry cooed as he kissed along Juneberry's cheeks. Chemistry rubbed his hooves all along the other stallion's body, leaving little trails of pleasure coursing through Juneberry's body. Juneberry leaned his face against Chemistry's frizzy blue mane, letting out a soft whine. Chemistry suddenly stepped back. He positioned himself right under the end of Juneberry's flank and made a hungry growl, showing a little teeth.

"Can I be, uh," Juneberry said, looking a little scared as she shimmied a few feet back, "the, uh, dominant... one?" Oh, Celestia, I don't even know how to ask. "Please?" He tried making the same "doe eyes" that he tried on Twilight to get a forbidden library book.

Chemistry laughed, never seeing a colt ask to be top in such a submissive, sweet way. He shifted his head to the left, horn starting to glow brightly. Juneberry just waited with baited breath. The other stallion pick a hoof up and slowly turned around. From behind them, the switches on the mini-turntable magically flickered back and forth. As Chemistry lined his rump up right in front of his partner, bouncy, psychedelic dance music filled up the room.

Juneberry took a gulp. His eyes drank in every inch of the cute blue tail wiggling in the air, and his gaze moved down to the other stallion's supple plot beneath. He almost bit his lip as his eyes narrowed on Chemistry's soft grey tailhole. So bucking snuggly! His mouth hung open, feeling too overwhelmed. I need to... oh, Celestia, I don't even know where to begin.

"Oh, if you're worried about that, don't bother," Chemistry remarked, pressing his plot backwards against Juneberry's colthood. Chemistry muttered a little spell under his breath. The other stallion had no idea what to think. He went back to staring at Chemistry's tailhole, now noticing a yellow magical arua around it.

"I can..." Juneberry said. Do this! He closed his eyes, and he raised his hips. He felt himself rubbing against Chemistry's back. He took a deep breath, and he wiggled himself to the side. He lined up perfectly, feeling tingles of pure pleasure shooting out from the tip of his colthood against Chemistry's smooth rump.

He pressed in. Immediately, he felt his teeth clenching. Electricity seemed to course through his hips all through his body. He felt his mind screaming out for more, knowing pleasure that he could hardly imagine before. He sucked in little breaths as he pressed deeper. Inch by glorious inch of Chemistry's slippery, warm body took him in, and he spat out moan after moan. Bursts of joy shot through his head, his hooves clenching against Chemistry's tail and back. He pulled the tail hard as he nudged himself completely inside, balls slapping against Chemistry's plot.

"Oh, my, gosh!" Juneberry screamed. His eyes seemed to curl upwards. "It's so... I can't... I just... I need..." He partly collapsed against. I can't cum yet. I have to hold out. That's what the other colts always say. That's a fact. The girl wants you to last as long as you bucking well can. If you can't make it past at least two minutes, she'll hate you forever and ruin you. He felt pre-cum dripping out inside Chemistry's tailhole, and a pang of shame seemed to spring up inside his heart. No! I'm going to ruin it!

"Is it, uh, your first time with a stallion?" Chemistry groused, clearly not enjoying it anywhere near as much as his partner.

"My first time."

"Oh." Chemistry curled his head back, and the two stallions gazed at each other. A wave of tenderness seemed to go over Chemistry's face. "That makes me... happy." It was such a weird thing to say, but Juneberry felt glad that the other stallion said it. Chemistry suddenly twisted about. Juneberry laid down flat against the rug. His colthood popped out of the other stallion and bounced in the air, still throbbing.

"You're going..." He felt himself getting a tiny bit limp.

"I can lead you," Chemistry said, sliding his plot back onto his partner's colthood, "from the, uh, bottom. Done all the time."

Juneberry felt such a relief. He gazed at the feminine stallion above him, and he leaned up. They kissed. Chemistry shoved his tongue deep inside his mouth, gripping his neck. Juneberry just moved. He felt his hooves being moved against Chemistry's own colthood, and he happily stroked it. They just seemed to melt into a natural rhythm.

Chemistry guided him into regular thrusts, pleasure shooting through his sides in tune to the pumping music. His hooves curled across Chemistry's rod inch after inch in so many different ways. They kissed everywhere that they could think, from their hooves to their lips to their necks to their cheeks and more. Chemistry was somehow flexible to curl over and line his horn up, with Juneberry sucking the side. They loved it.

Pleasure built up again and again. Chemistry guided his partner right up to the edge, making Juneberry squeal and chirp with his head wiggling about. He guided the other stallion back. The waves of endless joy seemed to melt Juneberry's brains right out of his ears.

Finally, he couldn't take it any more. He had to cream. He just had to. He shifted around his bottom hooves against Chemistry, and he bit his lip. He trust forward with all his strength, groaning. Chemistry thew his head back. He screamed, sure to be heard across the whole floor.

Juneberry started to cum, feeling totally overwhelmed. The pleasure was so intense that he almost cried, brought to such a high that he'd never even imaged before. He found himself sliding backward.

Before he knew what happened, Juneberry watched in slow motion as Chemistry hopped off of his body. He glanced up at a devious little expression on Chemistry's face. He looked down and saw something white. He threw his hooves in front of his face. What!

He found sticky white film dripping acround his chin and nose. He blinked, still coming to his senses. He suddenly had a realization. "What? What!" Junberry yelled out. "Eeeeeeeeeeeew! I was about to go inside your bu--"

"But you didn't!" Chemistry remarked, leaning up besides Juneberry and panting.

"But I was inside you, so this stuff is all--"

"It's clean!" Juneberry shot a look of death at his partner. "Magic!" Chemistry waved his hooves to make an imaginary rainbow in the air. "Now, watch this!" Juneberry flinched. He felt a tingle of sparks across his face. He then opened his eyes.

"Eeeeeeeeew!" Sticky white stuff poured all over his face-- nose, cheeks, chin, and everywhere else. It looked like at least ten times more goop.

*Bang*

The stallions' eyes moved over to the door. They saw a magical arua wrapped around it as it hovered a few inches above the floor. It slumped over to the side. The stallions turned their attention to the blue-maned mare with big purple black glasses and a grey coat walking in.

"Ohhh, boys..." Vinyl Scratch said, smiling as she magically lifted the ruined door back into the entrance, "I can't believe that you started without me."

Juneberry's heart beat so fast that the thought he'd pass out. He glanced up at Chemistry, who just whistled, and back at Scratch. He could barely handle his surroundings anymore. He heard clicking sounds behind him, the mini-turntable switching. His ears perked at the loud, fast, and thumping big beat music, making him wiggle on the floor to the rhythm without even thinking.

"Let me help you, cutie," Scratch half-said and half-sang. She leaned over and licked across Juneberry's face. His limp colthood immediately popped back, hard as a boulder. She slurped up the white stuff, taking her sweet time and bringing her hooves against Juneberry's belly. He whined like a little foal.

He looked down at himself, and his eyes went wide as dinner plates as Chemistry's horn lit up. He saw little magical pulses forming atop his colthood. A vice-like sensation went around the base, and he couldn't help but gasp. I've... I've never even heard about colts getting this. Oh, praise Celestia for unicorns!

As Scratch finished cleaning up his face, she pranced around his head. He eyed her dancing to the beat. She suddenly bounced over and sat right on his mouth. He immediately thrust his tongue up, feeling that soaking wet marehood. He slurped up and down. She slid a few inches around, trying to hold down little screams.

He dipped his tongue straight into her marehood, and she just let it all out. He felt a magical kiss enveloping his colthood, something like electricity going into his skin. Juneberry couldn't believe it. He closed his eyes, and his mind fadeded into some kind of ultimate paradise.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

"You sure this is a good idea?" Juneberry said for the umpteenth time. He glanced back at a few little speaks of his original orange in his tail. He felt Scratch's hoof on his shoulder, and a grey magical blotch sucked up that last orange.

"Trust me, sweetie," Scratch squeaked. Chemistry just hovered around to the side, trying not to burst out laughing. Juneberry blinked. I can't believe I let them talk me into this...

He walked over to the nearby mirror. Juneberry saw almost identical looking DJ Pon-3s looking back at him in the mirror. Chemistry, Scratch, and him all had the same coat color, glasses, manes, cutie marks, and everything. He let out a little sigh. The three of them walked out into the hallway and headed over to the main stage area. Seeing that the coast was clear, they went for the other side exit.

Scratch patted Chemistry on the back. She turned to Juneberry, and she began, "Now, let's go over the plan again. First, I'll--"

*Smash*

They all fell to the ground and looked straight up at the solid mass of fanponies standing in the parking lot.

"Hey, it's her!"

"No, that's her!"

"There's three of her?"

"They're all impostors! GET THEM!"

"Oh, horseapples," Juneberry muttered. The crowd mowed through the lot twoards the three DJ Pon-3s. They turned tail and ran back into the theater. They immediately ducked into a side hallway, and the crowd followed. They found himself looking at a huge set of doors in both directions.

"Oh, NO!" shouted Chemistry.

"Not Scooby-Dooby-Doo doors!" Juneberry screamed.

They all ran out, splitting up.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Juneberry pushed open the door and bounced himself onto the couch. He took a deep breath. He curled his head against the pillow, and he hoped against hope that he could relax before his roomate showed up.

"Sup, fag on a fag stick with fag fries?" called out Summer Nights, bursting into the apartment. He walked into the living room, tossing about his head and looking up with a stiff limp as if he was emprorer of all of Equestira.

"Hello, Summer..."

"So, did you," Summer began, propping his pale yellow hooves against the couch, "get to meet..." He stared at Juneberry's get-up. "Oh..." He scratched his head. "Uh... I'm taking this as a..."

"It's complicated."

"But you did end up getting with ..."

"Yes. It got pretty weird, but yes..."

"Well, then," Summer said, stepping off of the couch and moving over to the nearby stereo. "Looks like you got..." He clicked on the music, and put on that annoying little expression of his.

"Don't you dare say it!" Juneberry sat straight up on the couch.

"Looks like you got--" Summer hit the stereo. "Scratched!"

The End