The Indomitable Business of Rock Farming

by Goldymarg

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1234

"Wait, you mean to tell me that all that demoralizing, back-breaking labor is done by earth ponies?! Trixie may claim to do the impossible, but what you're saying actually IS impossible!"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that all that demoralizing, back-breaking labor is done by earth ponies?! Trixie may claim to do the impossible, but what you're saying actually IS impossible!"

Twilight had learned to accept Pinkie Pie for what she was a long time ago. Eccentric, aloof, and somehow never short of energy or surprises. She would have continued to not question anything about that whimsical pony, if it were not for her sister, Maud Pie. A pony just as capable of performing absurd feats, ones that defy all logic and reason. Ordinarily she would have pushed these feelings aside before it drove her crazy, but a chance encounter with a certain powder blue unicorn at the train station brought these questions back to the forefront of her mind. Perhaps she could gain some insight on what exactly a rock farmer was from somepony who actually had firsthoof experience...

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Written and submitted for EqD's Writer's Training Grounds #012 with the prompt, "In Equestria, there's no such thing as a 'simple' rock farmer."

Published 2014-03-21 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-21 01:50:04 UTC

Answers that raise more questions

Ponyville Train Station, 1:33 pm

Trixie brought the steaming cappuccino to her lips with her magic, blowing on the top with closed eyes before taking a sip. The hot, caffeinated drink was a welcome reprieve from the cool spring air and falling rain, the smell of moisture and rustic mildew making her head spin earlier. Opening her eyes halfway, she looked down on her refreshment with disdain.

“Hmmm. Trixie was in the mood for a triple mocha latte. Ah, but I suppose this will do,” she said dismissively. “So? Is there any particular reason you're being so generous, Twilight Sparkle? I can't imagine you of all ponies approaching the Great and Powerful Trixie just for small talk. I mean, don't you have a kingdom or something to run, princess?”

The purple alicorn turned to face the stopped train, sitting down next to Trixie and giving her an annoyed look. “You know, it would help if you didn't just assume there's a sinister motive behind everypony's actions. Sometimes ponies want to be kind just for the sake of being kind. And for the record, I actually do just want to talk.”

“Oh.” Raising an eyebrow, Trixie looked ahead and took another sip of her drink, taking a moment to let its heat warm her. “Well, make it snappy. Trixie has a performance in Baltimare tomorrow and she would rather not miss her train because of some idle prattle.”

Ignoring her usual bluster, Twilight responded without delay, “Trixie, the last time you came to Ponyville you said you had worked on a rock farm for some time. Can you tell me what it was like? I mean, what did you do there? What were your living conditions like? Was the workload hard? Easy? Please, tell me everything you know.”

The unicorn rolled her eyes at the mention of the rock farm. Her eyes closed and her brow furrowed as she said, “Oh, please! Don't get Trixie started on that mess they call a business! I can't even begin to imagine what all that manual labor was supposed amount to! It makes my horn hurt just thinking about it, what a waste of time!”

“What kind of work did you do? Can you tell me?”

Twilight had leaned over ever so closer, her expression remaining neutral while her eyes got wider. The insistence in her voice was beginning to make Trixie feel uncomfortable, causing her to lean away the same amount. Giving her a confused look, she continued, “Uh, well...most of the time, Trixie was simply forced to break apart immense boulders with a pickaxe, though sometimes she had to haul mine carts full of rubble and ores into a smelting pit. The nerve of them, though...would you believe that they expected me to break apart those boulders into dust?! Or, or to transport an entire mountain's worth of rocks in a single day?! Trixie may be the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria, but she isn't a miracle worker!”

Twilight leaned away, giving back her personal space. Tapping a hoof against her mouth, she said under her breath, “I...see. That might have something to do with it...”

Trixie's left ear flicked once, her words barely registering. Scoffing to herself, she said, “Okay, your turn Sparkle. What's this all about? What do you know that Trixie doesn't?”

“Oh...about that...” Twilight's eyes looked forward, steeling her nerves for what she was about to hear herself say. “You know Pinkie Pie, right?”

She raised an eyebrow again, “That pony that can somehow play ten instruments? What about her?”

“Pinkie spent most of her foalhood on a rock farm. If what you're saying is true, then that would explain why she never seems to run out of energy...”

Trixie's head reeled back. “That's...that's probably just a coincidence. I mean, I'm sure her parents or siblings would probably end up doing most of the work if that's the case. I mean, what can an earth pony - ”

“That's just it,” Twilight interrupted. “Pinkie's entire family is nothing but earth ponies.”

Trixie dropped her cappuccino, her mouth dropping open so far that it could have easily hit the floor. Staring at Twilight with frantic eyes, she shouted, “Wait, you mean to tell me all that demoralizing, back-breaking labor is done by earth ponies?! Trixie may claim to do the impossible, but what you're saying actually is impossible! My magic could barely get any of that work done! What makes you think that I'm going to believe earth ponies could move mountains, or-or break stones apart with just brute force?!”

“...because I've seen it.” Twilight's voice was low and grim. “Just a few days ago, I met Pinkie's sister, Maud Pie. And the things I've seen her do...” Twilight gulped, hardly believing the conclusion she herself had come to. “I've seen her successfully eat and digest a piece of solid quartz. I've seen her dash across one hundred meters in the blink of an eye. I've seen her pulverize a boulder the size of my house into pebbles with her bare hooves. Trixie, it may be hard to believe, but...I guess it really isn't impossible, considering their lifestyle.”

“Lifestyle?! You call that...that torture a lifestyle?!” Trixie had stood up by now, her legs apart and her head lowered. “Why would anypony want to live that way?! Sure, Trixie managed to earn herself quite an impressive take when it was all over and done, but SERIOUSLY...if Trixie were forced to do even a day's worth of that kind of work without her magic, Trixie would be six feet under!”

“I'll admit, I'm having a hard time believing it myself,” Twilight replied. “But I have to know for sure. I have to have confirmation that this isn't all just some big coincidence.” She stood up, the look in her eyes firm and steely. “Thanks for taking the time to speak with me Trixie, but I have to get going.”

She trotted off, leaving a bewildered Trixie behind. Her eyes twitched left and right a little before she yelled after her, “H-hey! You can't just drop this on Trixie and walk away! Where do you think you're going?!”

Twilight stopped and turned her head, “If what you told me is true, then there's only one way to prove it. I'm going to work on the Pie's rock farm for awhile...without using my magic.”

Trixie's mouth dropped even further this time. “Whu...whaaaat?! You must be joking! You MUST be! The second you get there, you're going to - ” She stopped and looked away to avoid her seeing the smirk curl across her face. “Ah...ahem! What I mean to say is, somepony of your stature is sure to be, uh...tested by such an ordeal. So much so that you would probably need somepony to watch you fail – I mean, help you out should something go wrong. And besides that, don't go deciding these sorts of things yourself when you're in the presence of greatness! I don't care if you're a princess! I'm coming too!”

Author's Note

3/21/14 - Despite the fact that I wrote literally ALL of this in one sitting, I'm actually quite comfortable with how it turned out for a change. As with most of my WTG entries, I've left it open for progression should I ever decide to come back to it.