Equestrian Apocalypse

Chancellor: The hallowed town where Princess Twilight makes her nest must be

Perfect, the Examiners are here - will She pass the test?

Muster all three tribes, move faster now, we've done all this before.

Get moving for the 9th Annual Ponyville Inspection Tour!

(Ponyville Inspection Tour, Ponyville Inspection Tour)

Line up those with illness in their records,

Bring any who question our will.

Those whose flanks remain blank past sixteen years of age,

All are taken care of in our Equestrian Excellence Mill!

(Equestri... nopony? Fine.)

If ponies cannot meet the standards

Set by those of distinction,

Might it not be kinder to let nature

Choose the best by way of extinction?

The unicorns shall guide the way

Pegasi in the skies, so shall they stay

Earth ponies toil night and day

In fields, thus saith our Supremacy!

Sweet Apple Acres passes with distinction,

(But note that Applejack's methods are too soft.)

Triple output! Triple time! Triple everything!

Only then will Equestria remain aloft.

These are troubled times in which we live,

Natural disasters dim our light.

Drastic action must be taken if

Ponykind is to make it through this night.

Sunny: The unicorns lead us astray!

Clip the pegasus' wings, should they disobey.

Earth ponies rush to dig their own graves,

So says the Unicorn Supremacy!

Chancellor: All is perfectly ordered under our guiding hoof,

Yet still our charges lack luster.

Inspection's passed, such resent won't last

Until next year - the 10th annual Ponyville Inspection Tour!

(Ponyvi- oh, come on, guys...)