The extremely short adventure of Twilicord
It had taken months of research, countless trips to the Canterlot Palace Library and several sleepless nights but she was ready. Finally it was time for the experiment stage.
“Spike! I’m going to be down in my labs for the day. Please let anypony know who visits not to disturb me,” Twilight called out as she walked to the basement doors.
“Sure thing Twi. Actually would it be okay if I just locked up the library and uh went over to Rarity’s for the day?” the little dragon asked.
Stopping at the basement door Twilight gave his request a quick thought. “I don’t see why not. Just make sure to lock up after yourself okay? Remember if you come back and I’m still not up here…”
“I know I know I push the red button by the door and wait ten minutes. Push the red button again and wait another ten minutes then knock on the door and run for cover. If nothing explodes it is okay to come down,” Spike quoted a bored look on his face.
“Right. Have fun,” She called out as she went down the stairs closing the door behind her.
Reaching the bottom Twilight could not help but give a little hop skip in excitement. The testing stages were so fascinating, especially when she was sure of the outcome and had already written a pre hypothesis to be compared to her tested hypothesis and then the conclusions. She could hardly contain her grin.
Slipping on her goggles and foregoing her protective coat Twilight placed her test subjects on the steel table in front of her and backed away. Focusing her magic she concentrated and aimed her horn at the table.
“SURPRISE VISIT FROM YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND DISCORD!!!” Discord suddenly appeared right in Twilights face.
Surprised, startled and shocked Twilight lost all concentration and focus on her spell as her eyes flew open to stare into mirth filled yellow red eyes. Without a destination, Twilight’s magic exploded around her catching Discord in the mix. She felt herself stretching to impossible heights and heard a distant pop before everything went dark.
XxX
Violet eyes blinked open to see the ceiling of the basement above. Lifting a paw to rub at a dull ache in her head, Twilight did a double take.
‘Paw???’ Pulling the appendage in front of her it was in fact a purple tone lion paw that lifted. Giving it a shake did not make it turn back into a hoof.
“Ugh, did anypony get the brand of that stampede?” asked a familiar voice to her left.
Turning her head she bumped her nose into Discords face and reared back only to feel a jolt of pain in her shoulders.
Looking down she saw her neck and Discords neck were sharing the same shoulders, further along they also seemed to be sharing the same body. And…was that her horn on Discord’s head?
“Aaahhhhh!!!” Twilight screamed, using the lion paw to crawl away but only succeeded in moving the entire body with her.
“No, no, no, no, no, no. This is not happening. This did not happen.” She shut her eyes tight and opened them. Saw nothing had changed and closed her eyes again.
“Are you done blinking and being horrified? My head hurts a lot and your screaming is making it worse,” Discord said calmly, his eyes closed.
“Do you not see that we are attached?? This is your fault you stupid horse dragon thing!” Twilight shouted at him, anger in her tone.
“Well it looks like you’re also a horse dragon thing so wouldn’t that make you stupid too?” Discord looked at her through slit eyes.
“Rrrrr.” He was slightly impressed with the animalistic growl Twilight let out.
“Just use your alicorn magic to turn us back.”
“It’s not that easy. I was experimenting with this spell; I was going to use the results to create a counter spell to it.” Twilight thought for a moment. “Could your chaos magic reverse this?”
“Easy peasy.” Discord moved his arm as though to snap a finger. There was no snapping sound and they were still stuck together. Looking up he saw a deadpanned look on Twilight’s face.
“Eh heh,” lifting up his arm he saw that instead of his eagle claw arm there was a familiar purple leg and hoof instead.
“This is even worse than I thought,” Twilight muttered to herself, “Maybe if I try the spell again try to combine a broad counterspell with it.”
She reached for her magic and… snapped her paw?
A glass of chocolate milk appeared and floated over to Discord who drank it greedily.
“Ah I needed that.” Discord smacked his lips then started munching on the glass as well. “Wait did you just perform a bit of chaos? Why princess I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Twilights mind was racing a mile a minute. Theories and conclusions popped up did a mental test run failed and went back for re-writes. The only one that seemed to work was one she didn’t want to lay claim to but there was no other way.
“It looks as though not only our bodies merged together but so did our magic. My horn is on your head and I have your paw which is capable of only doing chaotic magic. We’re going to have to...” Twilight sighed in resignation. “…work together on this.”
“Oh ho ho! Finally I get to go on one of those, what cha call it, friendship building adventures.” Discord waved his hoof around but no snapping sound came out. Realizing he still didn’t have anything to snap he smiled cheekily at Twilight and moved his tail fur to snap that as if it were fingers. Nothing happened.
“Hey! We both share a tail so it’s not just going to do what you want anymore. And give warning next time it felt like someone had grabbed my tail and yanked on it.” Twilight wiggled her tail to shake the feeling away and felt Discord shudder.
“Agreed.”
“First let’s try to get up. Lying on this floor isn’t getting us anywhere.”
The first attempt to get up was with mixed results. Twilight had a paw and foreleg to the ground while Discord was attempting to stand. The two in one stumbled before collapsing to the floor again. Trying again Twilight attempted to stand on just her hind leg and Discord lowered himself to lizard leg and front hoof.
“Are you making this difficult on purpose?” Frustrated violet stared into amused yellow red.
“Don’t be so harsh Sparkle.” Discord got up on the one leg. “There happy now? Besides we don’t have much time left. I promised dearest Fluttershy I would meet her for tea today.”
“Plans can change. I’m sure Fluttershy will accept your apology about why you couldn’t make it as we fix this mess and back to our separate bodies,” she said, heading towards the bookshelf.
“What a real friend you’re being princess to insist on bailing out on meeting with a friend who enjoys the company of other friends. Why how would poor Shutterfly take such a rejection? Not too well I assure you. It’s like abandonment in its worst form,” Discord continued as he allowed himself to be led on.
As he nagged on and on, Twilight felt the stirrings of guilt and annoyance.
“Fine! If going to Fluttershy’s will shut you up and keep the magic of friendship alive since it would unfailingly break apart due to one missed tea visit we’ll go. We are coming right back afterward though capiche?”
A mischievous grin slowly curled on his face which instantly became an innocent look when Twilight turned to him.
“I wouldn’t dream of prolonging our jointed togetherness Twilight. Right after tea we will come straight back home.”
“Deal. Now to just find a way straight to Fluttershy’s without going out into the public,” Twilight muttered.
“Oh I got this.” Twilight’s horn lit up on Discord’s head and with a pop and flash appeared directly into Fluttershy’s living room.
“Eeek!!”
Tables and tea were tossed everywhere as Fluttershy was startled and flew behind the couch.
“It’s okay Fluttershy it’s just us,” Twilight stated in a calm voice.
Peaking over the top of the couch, Fluttershy saw it was indeed Twilight and Discord. Breathing a sigh of relief she flapped her wings and came out from behind the couch full only to pause in astonishment.
“Um not to be rude but um…are you two sharing the same body?”
Twilight glanced at Discord. “Yea there was an accident in the lab but Discord didn’t want to miss his visit with you so here we are.”
“Oh you didn’t have to interrupt your day to spend time with me. I’m sure whatever your doing is more important than this.”
Violet eyes softened seeing the worried look on her friends face.
“Don’t worry about it Fluttershy. It’s always great to spend time with you no matter the situation. May I trouble you for another cup of tea though please?” asked Twilight pleased at the way Fluttershy’s eyes lit up.
“Of course, let me go get it.”
“Hey while she does that lets get the table and other tea stuff that fell,” offered Twilight attempting to pick up the fallen table.
“Me? Clean? You must be joking. Does it still escape your supposedly brilliant mind that I am a God of Chaos? Doing such menial tasks is beneath me.” Twilight’s eye twitched at the haughty tone but she was not one to be deterred.
“So you’ll visit Fluttershy whenever it suits you but making a mess in her home and not cleaning it up is beneath you? Obviously taking advantage of your friends is how you handle friendship as I am beginning to see. You probably planned this mix up with our bodies too….” Twilight began.
Discord tried tuning out Twilight as she started lecturing but he only had one hoof to hide an ear and it wasn’t even the ear that was near her mouth.
“Alright fine let’s clean this up just please shut up,” Discord groaned. The purple horn on his head lit up and in a flash everything was back to normal.
There was a triumphant smile on her face when Discord let out a sad sigh.
“Sorry I took so long. Here you go Twilight another cup of tea for you...or...uh...for Discord I mean not that I didn’t make tea for you either. Oh I’m sorry I don’t mean to get you both mixed up.” Setting the tea cup down, Fluttershy placed it in the middle unsure of who would want it.
“That’s alright Flutterby just call us Discolight.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, making her giggle.
“If we have to think of a name for ourselves I would rather go with Twilicord,” Twilight countered, feeling the silliness of the moment.
“But Discolight has such a ring to it and..,” Discord tried using Twilight’s horn again but parchment and quill was the only thing that floated over to him. He gave a pleading look to Twilight who rolled her eyes and snapped her paw. The room darkened and a discoball popped up with upbeat music. “..everywhere we go will be a party!”
“How about Sparklord or Discarkle. Wouldn’t want to leave out Twilights other name,” piped in Pinkie Pie, who was dancing under the discoball.
“Pinkie Pie when did you get here?” Fluttershy asked. Twilight snapped away the lights and music.
“As soon as I heard party. You know Pinkie Pie never misses a party and this party was amazerific! I’m so glad I suddenly decided to visit Fluttershy just now. Oh wow you guys are sharing the same body does that mean you’re married now but I didn’t get to throw the bachelorette party or the bachelor party or the before wedding party and the just got engaged party and we can’t forget the..”
“PINKIE PIE!!” Twilight shouted.
Pinkie paused mid-bounce to look happily down at her friend. “Yes Twilight.”
“Discord and I are not married nor are we engaged. He just popped unexpected into my lab again while I was trying an experimental spell and we got stuck like this,” she explained, waving her paw about dramatically.
“Oh was that all. Okie dokie lokie. Well this party was fun but I gotta go more fun to spread lots of laughs to make.” With bouncing hooves Pinkie left the house.
“We have to go as well Fluttershy; I want to get the cure for this as soon as possible. Thank you for the tea.”
“No problem at all Twilight and Discord. Um TwiDis? I’m not very good at names am I?” Fluttershy commented.
“That’s a very good name Butterfly. We’ll definitely take it into consideration. Twilight dear would you do the honors? I just can’t get your magic to work chaotically at all.”
“Maybe it’s because my magic prefers order and harmony. Besides what makes you think I can handle your magic at all either. So far it’s done nothing I have wanted it to do.”
Discord looked sideways at her. “Try again. It might work this time.”
Twilight found herself wanting to roll her eyes again but stopped the urge just in time. She snapped her paw again and found them lying back in a leafless tree in the middle of nowhere.
“Like I said, your magic is not cooperating with me.”
“Though it seems to be doing what I want magnificently. See I promised we would be home and we are. My home that is,” Discord called out happily.
The frustration she had been holding down rose to the surface and Twilight got in Discords face. She stared angrily into his eyes and was further incensed to see him looking back at her as though nothing was wrong. That ever present smirk on his lips.
“Why do you have to be so difficult? Does it not bother you at all that we might be stuck like this forever? Not to mention our magic is not responding to…to…” A sudden idea popped into Twilights head as she spoke. Seeing that she had stopped ranting Discord pulled away from her face and raised a questioning brow as Twilight seemed to stare off into space.
“Think of all the fun we’ll have. Slumber parties late night movie marathons and makeovers. Why, you already have a date for prom.” He gave her a roguish smile but saw it did nothing to erase the dazed look in her eyes.
He waved a hoof in front of her which did nothing. Getting an evil smile on his face, Discord leaned over her head and stuck his tongue in her ear.
“Gah!” Twilight shook her head to rid her brain of the wet slimy feeling of something wiggling in her ear. “What was that for?”
“You weren’t paying attention to me and I was getting…well its boring to have another head and it’s not talking to you.”
She then did the one thing that has only happened to Discord a record total of three times in his life. Twilight Sparkle smiled at him.
“You know what Discord, you’re right.”
“I am?”
“Absolutely. In fact we should use this time together to hang out.”
“We should?”
“Of course, tons of fun all across Equestria though it would be kinda tough with us both stuck together like this. Oh well, I’m sure we can come up with something like um hide and seek.”
Placing a purple paw over her eyes Twilight counted to ten.
“Ready or not here I come.” Putting her arm down she looked around and had an actual surprised look on her face when she saw Discord. “I found you. Okay you’re it now.”
“Mm no. How about we go prank some Ponyville citizens or change Celestia’s shampoo to mane remover?”
“That stuff you can do any old time. When is the next time you’ll have constant company watching you all the time? Seeing you take each breath and even counting how many times you’ve blinked in the last half hour. Thirty-nine times by the way.” Wide violet eyes stared intently at Discord.
Now Discord was starting to feel just a little bit creeped out as this was not normal Twilight Sparkle behavior. “Ya know Sparkster we really have been spending too much time together. Why don’t we just head on over to your lab and uh get this separation spell taken care of.”
“Or we could both want the same thing at the same time with our magic and complete the counterspell?” Twilight said innocently.
Realizing he had been fooled, Discord nodded and let the horn on top of his head light up. Giving him a more genuine smile, Twilight readied her paw and snapped it right when the flash of pink magic hit.
xXx
Twilight woke up to an ink black night above her. Calculating the position of the stars she figured it was sometime after dinner. Lifting a hoof to rub her head Twilight smiled at seeing her leg and hoof again. She got up easily onto four legs and did a little jig flapping her wings to test them out.
“Yes yes you must be proud of yourself. Now run along I have much more mischief to cause,” Discord commented.
Twilight turned to see the Draconequus leaning casually against his thinking tree. She couldn’t help but think he looked a little lonely.
“You want some help with that mischief? I have it on good authority that Celestia enjoys cake with her tea. Now how fun would it be to have her hiccup bubbles with each bite?”
Disbelief shone from yellow red eyes. “You would help little old me? With causing chaos?”
“Only if you never enter my labs again and we meet for a meal a few days a month? Maybe your continuous need to pop in when least expected will die down if I can prove your company is enjoyable when scheduled.”
Discord laughed long and hard, he rolled on the ground slapped his knee and guffawed. Twilight just stood there chuckling a bit as his laughter was somewhat contagious. Finally Discord stood and looked directly at Twilight.
“Not gonna happen but a good laugh all the same.”
Surprisingly Twilight didn’t feel the anger or annoyance that usually came when dealing with Discord. She rolled her eyes this time and turned away from him.
“I figured as much but a mare can dream cant she? Now about that bubble cake?”
~End~
Author's Note
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you all found it worth a chuckle at least.