A Date With My Assistant
Original idea, dialogue script and cover art: Lisboa
Descriptions and additional words: Neizd
It was in the middle of one of those warm, summer nights, when in the clear sky many stars twinkled up high in the company of a much bigger and brighter orb. A night like many others during this season when one could smell the air of mystery with every breath.
The small town of Ponyville was already shrouded in deep slumber, the houses of various ponies silent, with only the silvery light illuminating them, reflecting in the glass of many darkened windows. Luna’s full moon overlooked the whole array of buildings, like a sentry which protected the dreams of its inhabitants keeping its watchful eye on them.
However, not everypony was visiting the dream world as some of the ponies enjoyed the night life by going out on dates while the others waited patiently for their return. The latter was true for a certain purple dragon known as Spike who paced nervously around the library with his green eyes full of worry, dark thoughts clouding his mind.
What was the reason for his distress you might ask...? It was his lifelong friend, Twilight Sparkle, a powerful alicorn and newly-crowned Princess, Bearer of the Element of Magic but even with those grand titles she wielded, she was still a normal mare in Spike’s eyes… a normal mare who was not only a socially awkward shut-in but also had zero to no idea what romance meant. And she went out on a date anyway.
When Spike first heard her plans for tonight, he literally fell out of his chair laughing as nopony dared to ask Twilight out, her social status intimidating them. However, one dared and right now Spike was going bald with worry or he would do so if he had any fur on himself instead of countless purple scales.
Right now he was in the kitchen, trying to preoccupy himself with making a bedtime snack for himself and Twilight, her favorite in case the date would go bad…no, in fact he was ninety percent sure it WILL go bad.
Mere minutes later, a loud sound of entrance doors slamming shut alerted him that his predictions were indeed spot on. –Here goes…- he thought to himself and moved towards the main lobby to greet one miserable looking mare who exhaled rapidly to calm herself down.
When their eyes met for a brief moment, no words were needed. Having lived together as long as they had, they could say everything that need be said with a simple glance. Spike knew that right now, what Twilight needed was a friendly shoulder to cry on.
Moments later, both of them sat on the couch before the fireplace, tense and unbearable silence between them. Still, Spike decided to instigate the conversation going straight to the point, not willing to beat around the bush to provoke her.
"Gosh, Twilight, I'm so sorry your date went so badly..." He honestly felt for her, claw landing onto her back which made Twilight groan in defeat, her hoof touching against her forehead as she tried to let him know that she wished to simply forget about today.
"Ugh… don't remind me of that. I'm done with dating already!" Almost yelled the mare whose heavy frown seemed to be permanently glued to her muzzle, an expression which Spike was determined to change.
"Oh, come on you can't be serious!" His own voice risen an octave as he hated nothing more than seeing her give up, especially on a very important part of life like this.
"Yep, I'm going to put ‘dating’ at the very bottom of my ‘What-to-do-with-my-life’ list." To accent her point, she slammed her hoof down onto the table, making Spike genuinely curious how bad the date really was to make her feel such strong detestation towards the idea.
"It was THAT bad, huh..." He wondered out loud while eyeing her with lifted brow, seating himself more comfortably. Upset, Twilight clearly understood the signal he gave her and decided to share her tale as one of the recent reports to princess Celestia included ‘sharing your problems with friends’.
Entering her teacher mode, Twilight told him whole story with all of the gruesome details present and Spike kept hearing her out, nodding at every situation from time to time while trying to keep a straight face because if he burst into uncontrollable laughter, Twilight would be obviously upset.
Of course, being the way he is, the occasional chuckle or snicker would make itself known, but thankfully his friend didn't seem to mind.. At some most outrageous parts describing her date behavior he even allowed himself for some teeth grinding as well.
"Yep, knowing you if it was that bad of an experience it may keep you from dating like...forever. Ha!" He concluded, while trying to come up with some way to cheer her up or at least minimize the damage done by this unsuccessful date and the inconsiderate dude she spent time with.
"It looks that way..." Twilight agreed wholeheartedly and prepared to get up, the idea of going to sleep and putting everything behind her seemed to be very appealing at this point. However, Spike’s next words kept her in place as it would be rude of her to simply walk away on him like that.
"Well, let me see...not being able to chat with him due to his...very limited general knowledge. You are veeeery chatty when it comes to history, science...blah blah blah...you're a bookworm. At least someone should keep up with your massive brain...." Words colored in light tone poured from his mouth, making Twilight cock her head to the side as she digested his description of her.
"I don't know if I should feel insulted or flattered...." She concluded finally, now with sparked interest and wanting to hear more of how Spike saw that whole horrible experience through his eyes. Twilight was sure that it would certainly prove to be enlightening and she always welcomed knowledge.
"And his jokes were so tasteless and overall bad which is a mistake number two... Every mare has a sense of humor, even you!" His claw pointed at her as he shouted excitedly however the reason for his excitement was lost on Twilight.
"I don't have a sense of humor, Spike. Even Pinkie has a hard time trying to make me laugh..." She grimly stated, voice so sour that it could revert Pinkie into Pinkamena if she heard it...or accept the challenge and try to make Twilight laugh at any cost which would be tiring.
"That's because what makes you laugh doesn't make everypony laugh too. It's there....veeeeery deep inside, but I have seen it." Rationalized the drake as he came closer to her, his claws cupping her cheeks as he stared intently into her purple eyes.
"Whatever..." Twilight scoffed while taking a step back, slowly losing interest in hearing about how different she was from others. She already knew it all so what was the point of him telling her all of that? However, it seemed that Spike was far from done.
"And come on...he was ashamed when he saw you dance?" No sooner this question left his mouth, Twilight felt a jolt of electricity paralyze her, mind reverting to a not so distant, traumatic memory which was the cherry on top of a cake named 'Worst-date-ever'.
"...." Twilight stared blankly into nowhere in particular as the whole memory played once more before her eyes, the words that stallion spoke, the stares from others which embarrassed her. Spike on the other hoof decided to use this to move forward with their conversation, trying to picture to her where he was going with all of this, his gesticulating arms flailing about as he started to reach a crescendo of his long winded speech.
"But you LOVE to dance! You do it terribly, but it should be fun! You are not showing up!" His rational compliment seemed to do the job, making Twilight blink her eyes as she carefully considered his words. It was true that she loved to dance even if she couldn't do it very well but her dragon assistant seemed to omit one very important aspect…
"Yes, but what's the point if everypony will make fun of me and...whoever is with me?" She bitterly asked, knowing that Spike wouldn't be able to shoot down this question as it was the harsh truth that Twilight was sure about after learning it the hard way. Her surprise only grew when her number one assistant offered his answer in the strangest and most chaotic way possible.
"The point is...that there is no point! YOU'RE the point! HE is the point! It's like....synergy!....like Harmony itself if you get me." With his frantic movements, his sharp talons scratched the wooden floor as he paced around trying to find the words to convert this simple truth to a 'everything-by-the-book-pony' Twilight was.
"What?" She finally asked, obviously unable to comprehend what in all of Equestria was he talking about, making him sure that he indeed needed to change his approach to a more practical one.
"Yes! Let me show you! Get out for like...fifteen minutes and I'll show you what a real date should be!" That said, he moved towards the kitchen, determined to begin preparations as there was little time.
"Er...what would you know about dating?...." She couldn't help but ask, although being a total shut-in she was probably the last person to question others expertise about the subject.
"Duh...I live in a library and my comprehension levels have come through a very, VERY thoughtful upbringing.. now OUT!" With that, he pushed her towards the stairs, giving her a clear sign that she was not to come down until he finishes. When Spike headed out the door to her bedroom, he heard it close behind him, with Twilight finally out of the picture, he moved at double speed, wide grin spread on his face as he prepared everything, his plan was perfect.
The fifteen scheduled minutes passed slowly for Twilight, who asked herself countless questions of what the dragon was up to while getting off the make up and making herself look more like her usual self. Being all too happy to finally descend down when he called, she stumbled on the last steps upon noticing a sight that froze her in place.
Decorations, many red candles lit with green flame, a well prepared table for two with soft music playing in the background from the old gramophone and other artifacts were thoughtfully placed in the library's main chamber which was shrouded in dim light, making it look not much of a library, but more of a small antiquated restaurant.
"What. Is. This?"
"Miss, if you please..." His voice reached her from the side and Twilight couldn't help but chuckle at the bad rhyme.
"Told you, you laugh at bad puns." Spike’s smirking mouth came into her field of vision and noticing that he was indeed right she kept on giggling. He got her this time and it certainly improved her mood a tiny bit.
"Now...here is.." Spike continued nonchalantly while she let him lead her obediently towards the table, even going as far as taking a chair out for her to sit. Bringing out from underneath a metal cover a pair of great looking sandwiches on metal platter, Twilight didn't buy that it took him only fifteen minutes to prepare it all...but somehow they were there.
"A sunflower sandwich, mildly broiled with some egg, mashed potatoes, soy gravy, no crust at an acceptable temperature for a proper digestion..." He informed her, obviously exaggerating while imitating a professional chef. Upon closer inspection however, she noticed that everything he said was indeed true, making those simple sandwiches even more precious in her eyes as Twilight’s mouth watered…
"How...why...?" She tried to ask, feeling as if she was dreaming but Spike abruptly stopped her there, sending a smile her way.
"This is only the appetizer, so save some room for the main dish and the dessert!"
Surely enough, no longer than one hour later, Twilight found herself bursting with uncontrollable laughter out of a comical review of one of the books.
"Seriously, that book was so badly written that you simply cannot read it with a straight face!" Continued Spike, extracting yet another fit of hearty laughter from behind Twilight's lips who couldn't get a hold of herself, her hoof slamming against the table, the other one holding onto her stomach.
"Hahaha! I thought the very same thing! I mean...vamponies that are vegans? That's a total failure!" She bellowed loudly getting teary eyed from all of that laughing, her belly muscles aching and begging for mercy, however Spike continued relentlessly.
"Worst of all, it was written to be taken seriously...so that makes it even...funnier! Hahahaha!" Another round of laughter filled the Golden Oaks Library this one the biggest of them all. When the purple duo finally managed to calm themselves down, content smiles on both faces, Twilight slowly changed the topic feeling that she will be unable to withstand another one of his jokes.
"I was about to send a very angry letter to that writer demanding the return of the few hours it took me to figure out the plot..." She commented more seriously, remembering the bad experience she had with that particular book. This indeed happened as her schedule for that day was totally ruined because of some author that shouldn't write for the good of all the potential readers.
"That writer took the balls out of vamponies..." Spike agreed, earning another loud snort from Twilight.
"Now, the appetizer, main dish...the dessert...are you done with it?" She asked, already pleased with the date however she was intrigued about everything that he came up with on such a short notice and was more than interested to see it all through.
"Not yet...." Spike whispered, making Twilight stare at him seriously although her amethyst eyes sparkled with curiosity.
"My, you are behind schedule! The date was timed to last for five hours and there are at least four more activities left!" She reminded him but it seemed that he has everything under control as his next response came out as more relaxed than it should be, pleasing Twilight even more.
"I'll finish it quickly!"
A little later, after all that eating and laughing he planned to do, Spike decided it was time for the hardest part of the date which was to make Twilight once again regain her confidence towards a certain social activity.
"All right! Time to..." He stood up, surprising Twilight and walked over to the gramophone, setting everything ready. "...work off the food."
"Spike..." Twilight started quietly, not knowing exactly what she was going to tell him, her trauma returning to her once again. The date was already everything she could have wished it to be and yet there he was, asking her for the impossible.
"What?" He asked innocently, putting his claws onto his hips while staring at her, a determined expression that didn't take ‘no’ for an answer adorned his face.
"I can't...I can't do it." Twilight whispered, her voice barely reaching him as she retracted her head back, making her resemble Fluttershy in Spike’s eyes. Her hooves coming together, she rubbed them against each other while fighting emotional conflict within herself.
"Lies." He commented while coming closer, taking her hooves into his claws, making her slowly stand up but still not go towards the empty space to shake it.
"What?" She questioned, wondering why would he remark that she was lying to him. She genuinely believed that it was for the best that she would never set hooves on dance floor ever again, fearful that she might ruin this date if Spike were to laugh at her dancing.
"The Twilight I know is the dorkiest and most social disabled pony I know, but she's also the smartest and is willing to take challenges and make commitments that no other pony could do." Spike reassured her, finally making progress with leading her forward if only a few steps.
"...." Listening to his words, she was unable to come up with an excuse as his perception of her touched Twilight’s heart deeply. It was the first time she heard him speak so fondly about her and being the humble mare she was, the fear in her heart was slowly melting down.
"The one who saved Equestria twice, the element of Magic, Princess Celestia's student, and a princess herself is afraid of shaking it now?" Continued the dragon, firstly appealing to her many achievements and ending up with mockery, one thing he knew that she wouldn't stand. When he put it that way, all of it indeed seemed to sound illogical in Twilight's own eyes.
Sighing heavily, Twilight finally allowed him to make her stand in the middle of the empty floor, his toothy grin keeping her in place and encouraging her while he turned the music on. "Come now. Dance with me. There is nopony else here and besides...it's your favorite beat!"
Lifting her eyebrows, she looked at Spike, lack of faith painted all too clearly on her features. "Oh Spike, You can't possibly now my favorite...." Twilight began to say but then the song started, making her turn her head sharply first in the direction of the gramophone and then once again towards him, eyes wide from amazement.
"Are you kidding me? You sing it in the shower, you hum it at every chance, you play it almost five times an hour...heck you even sang it as my lullaby when we were little! You know what else? It's my favorite, too!" He finished and grabbed her hooves and closing the distance between them, swaying slowly from side to side to initiate a slow and relaxing dance.
They purple duo stood in the middle of the dance floor, getting into the beat and soon they started to dance the worst dance anypony could ever come up with, their hooves and talons moving totally out of the rhythm, resembling more the movements of somepony drowning or running around while screaming with additional stumble. A few times, Twilight even managed to step onto Spike’s talons and once on his tail but he didn't seem to mind the little pain if that was going to make Twilight happy in the end...although he was sure to feel the consequences of that decisions later but as he often said 'it was future Spike's problem'.
Near the end of the date, a bit exhausted from all of those wild dance moves, they were once again sitting at the table, the candles almost burned out and the light diminished. Moving about, Spike was cleaning everything up, a wide smile of accomplishment adorning his mouth.
Twilight sat in the chair, going once more about every little detail that happened while observing the dragon with curiosity. Her mind made up, she finally decided to address him. "Spike. This may sound weird, but this is the best date I ever had."
"You may get better ones than this." He replied, never stopping his cleaning but truthfully he was unsure if he wanted Twilight to experience another failure at dating in future.
"I...doubt it." Twilight disagreed honestly, her head supported by her foreleg, her mind wondering about various stuff, some of them making her pink in cheeks although in this light nopony would see.
"Yes, you will. You want to know why? Because, as thoughtful and fancy this date was...I cheated." Admitted Spike, finally turning to look Twilight deep in eyes, serious as she never saw before which startled her a little and made her question what he was talking about.
"...Spike?" She uttered but he didn't let her say anything more, taking a deep breath and proceeding with explaining everything to her so she would be able to understand. "I know you too well. I know what you like, I know what makes you laugh, what makes you cringe, what disturbs you, what you hate, what you look forward too. For starters, your time is always precious. The very notion of having wasted your time on something that was uncertain from the start and fruitless in the end frustrates you...doesn't it?"
"Yes..." She slowly nodded her head, truthfully not getting where he was going with all of this, in her eyes it was successful a date and that was all that mattered now, at least to her. So what if he does know her? It was all the more reason why she was able to enjoy herself.
"You love order. Heck, even your potty training probably came with a flow chart attached." The dragon continued, his witty remark making Twilight laugh out loud at the mad idea of having scheduled such activities.
"That was mean and icky...but yes." She agreed while nodding her head vigorously as she finally started to get idea of what he was referring to.
"You like long conversations about interesting subjects. Or even casual ones...mostly involving our friends..." More words flowed from his mouth, mesmerizing Twilight, her eyes growing moist, heart touched that he knew her so well and had such a good perception of her as nopony ever said anything like that to her.
"Yes..." She once again confirmed with a nod, letting him continue, wishing to hear even more of his words. Unfortunately for Twilight, he was about done with praising her."And mostly, you are allergic to rye."
"True...all of it is true." Twilight couldn't help but agree, completely lost as to what she should do right now, new strange and unknown feeling budding inside of her, the new possibility which she failed to notice earlier sprouting in her heart, making it beat faster.
"Good. Now I can check ‘Personal conversation’ off the list. Now for the last activity...." He started, determined to bring the whole date to an end but Twilight’s risen hooves stopped him. "Wait."
"Huh?" Spike looked at her, wondering what could she want to say right now but was as always was willing to listen. Thankfully he wasn't about to wait long as words started to leave Twilight’s mouth. "I know you may think that you have cheated a little because you know the best and the worst of me...a-and I know yours too...b-but really...this means a lot to me. I wouldn't be too comfortable knowing that this was only...a-an e-experiment."
She finished while stuttering, her mind screaming as she tried to find a way to properly express herself and those strange new sensations growing inside of her. She never did felt like that towards anypony and it all made her nervous for reasons unknown for her.
"You got everything right." Spike told her, earning a quizzical look from Twi who was still struggling with her own feelings swirling around in her heart like a vortex.
"W-what do you mean?" She asked while genuinely intrigued, a little hope rising up... a hope for what? She didn't know, not yet at least but the understanding was close, on the edge of her comprehension.
"I have learned from others the source of some flaws in relationships." Spike started mysteriously, determined to share with Twilight what he had learned through his life when he was still pursuing after Rarity in the distant past, frantically trying to understand what love was about.
"Oh, really? Why don't you brief me out then?" Twilight sarcastically asked, trying to mask the complicated emotions which threatened to overflow at any moment now as she shifted uncomfortably on her chair, thankfully it seemed that Spike hasn't noticed anything.
"Well, starting when they treat relationships as an experiment instead of a goal." Spike began as he seated himself on the chair near Twilight while smiling gently.
"....g-goal?" She wondered, taking in his words as if it was some ultimate truth about love which she only now started to comprehend.
"Yep. Goal." Nodded the dragon, dramatically stopping here to make Twilight ask which she indeed did shortly, her voice a thin whisper as if she had trouble breathing. "W-what goal?"
"You. You are the goal. You are the point. Not experimenting with a filly, but winning the heart of a mare. A sensational mare." He shot right at her, his words making her weak in the knees, the desired impact achieved as her lips trembled from overwhelming emotions pouring from her, all of them directed towards the dragon nearby. She wanted to tell him something but words seemed to fail her. "...Spike..."
"And afterwards...that's where the experimentation can happen...After all, it should be a safe experimentation environment, right?" He continued, unaware of how she felt right about now. Poor Twilight couldn't hold it in any longer, being completely at his mercy, almost begging for him to stop and do...what exactly? "W-what were we talking a-about exactly, S-spike?"
"Twilight?...experimentation remember?" Spike asked, almost lost for words before finally noticing her strange behavior, eyeing the mare beside himself with curiosity, as his claw scratched the back of his head wondering if maybe he missed something along the course of their conversation.
"It's alright...as far as I can see it, we both have gone past the "Goal" level..." She whispered and letting her heart finally do the talking instead of her brain, she leaned in and gave him a deep, sensational kiss, the soft petals of her lips brushing against his scaly ones with passion. Paralyzed, Spike stiffened completely as a heavy blush could be felt emerging underneath the scales of his cheeks, but soon he returned the gesture, losing himself completely in the moment.
When their lips finally parted, Twilight had a big smile on her muzzle while she looked at her stunned dragon assistant from beneath half closed eyelids. His mouth opening and closing, unable to add any witty remark as she leaned once again, this time close to where his ear would be, her whisper sending shivers down his spine. "...you can check that off the list now..."
THE END
Author's Note
That's about it folks! Hope you enjoyed reading this little piece of fiction as much as I have enjoyed writing it. As said before, many thanks to Lisboa for drawing the most awesome Twispike art that gives us, the fanfic writers, inspiration to create more of our tales!
Rate and Review, if you stumble upon any mistakes, kindly point them out!
