Chapters

1: A "Normal" Day
2: Finding a Purpose
3: The Chapter in Which Many Things Happen
4: Preparation
5: Pains of the Past
6: Loud Noises, Learning, and Lousy Lumbering

1: A "Normal" Day
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The Wanderer

1: A "Normal" Day

Ah, Friday. The best of days... The LONGEST of days, but all was fine, I had plans. Drive car home, grab gear, and head off into the woods. 'Twas the norm, and I preferred it that way. Hell, even the weather was normal; rainy and cold. Seattle tends to be that way. So after arriving at my cabin at the foot of the mountains, I prepared for my scheduled adventure. Grabbing my backpack, flashlight, matches, and some other necessary survival doohickeys. Put on the boots, grab my cap and walking stick and head out.

It was Goddamn beautiful outside, granted I'm probably the only one in the state to believe such a thing. Rain pitter-pattered off the lush foliage, birds cried out to the others, and a small breeze made the most titanic of trees sway. I stepped forward off the back patio, taking a deep breath as I did so, and plunged my boots into the wet soil.

Quite a bit of time had passed and I was sure I was a few miles out. The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared. The creatures of the night had begun their symphony, as well as the wonderful natural satellite, Her Majesty's moon. Stars were starting to dot the sky and the evening breeze created a background to all the magnificent sights. As gorgeous as it was, one thing seemed to catch my eye, or rather two things.

Two gargantuan trees had grown together, intertwining themselves at the top to form a perfect arch below. Through to the other side of the arch continued the path I was on, twisting and turning around trees and running through an occasional puddle. (I'm sure I could fit some metaphor about my life there, but... nah.) Ivy vines and moss surrounded said arch, covered in dew, they allowed moonlight to reflect off them, making everything shimmer.

"Awwwwww yisss," I spoke merrily. "Motha. Fokkin'. Arches!" And being the childish idiot that I was, I bolted under that mother-humper as fast as my legs could carry me... Well actually, I attempted to.

Soon finding myself with a mouthful of fresh dirt, I started to doubt my position as an 'adult' male.

With my vision blurry and a small bit of my dignity remaining, I began to stand up and brush myself off. Legs, arms, and face... And spit out the dirt, good. I turned back to see my earthy assailant, sticking out of the ground and internally cackling maliciously. Yet something was rather odd about this root, in fact everything around it. As my vision returned I noticed that everything had a cartoonish outline. Even my hands! Although after checking, the texture remained. I rubbed them across my unshaven face, feeling every bump, scar, and hair across my jawline.

"I must've hit my head pretty damn hard," I pondered aloud, soon turning back to face the natural arch from which I ran under.

It looked darker, and not like the light level. It was twisted, everything about it just screamed evil. Peeking through the structure only to find a path that looked nothing like the one I had just traveled down. Instead, the trail was lined with particularly placed pernicious plants, that looked much like those of a child's idea of a spooky forest. Doing the first thing that came to mind, I ran back under the arch hoping the scenery would change...

Only to trip over the same damn root and get a mouthful of delicious earth.

I got up, spitting out the last bit of my pride and whatever dirt left over. Nothing had changed, the particularly placed plants were looking pernicious as ever, the cartoon shader appeared to be still on, and the evil vibe was more powerful than a high-school teenagers phone set to mute. Night creatures called out to their friends, and there was the constant feeling of being watched.

Quickly, (for some odd reason I decided to do it in a rush) I grabbed my walking stick, which lie on the ground next to a beautiful imprint of my face. Wherever I was, I did not want to be there for the night.

After walking for several minutes, I came to a clearing the woods. There sat a gorgeous waterfall pouring into a small stream which fed into what appeared to be an over-glorified puddle. The cartoonish moon shimmered of the surface of the water, which sat unrealistically still despite the fact that there was a current to disturb it. However I took this to my advantage, eager to see what this new... happening did to my appearance, I stepped to the edge of the water.

There stood a cartoony version of myself; short brown hair swept to the side, raggedy jeans, white(ish) T-shirt, greenish-brown eyes, and the slightly darker patch of skin to the right of my dominate eye. And that big dumbass grin. Yep it was me, and there were a few scrapes and bruises from those falls. So, paying no mind to the rustling in the bushes headed my way, I decided to wash my face in the water before me.

I'm stupid. Hi Stupid, I'm Tomas!

*RRRRRRRRRRRGG*

"That's odd, I don't feel hungry..."

*RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAHH!!*

Just like that, three VERY large beasties jumped out of the brush... Taking some of it with them?

"Ah shit, Timberwolves," I expertly concluded. Of course, it made sense; the cartoony look, odd lack of water physics, and my easy accepting of it all. "I'm dreaming!" I told myself. "I probably fell asleep at work again, watching Friendship is Magic on my phone or something."

"Well I need to get back to what I was doing before the boss drills me," I told the angry canines. "Come get me bitches!"

...

CRACK

"Oof."

That was the sound of a fully grown man being tackled by a wooden wolf. And by the looks of it, it was going for my throat. So, holding back the jaws of the beast as best I could, I got a good look at its face... Gag, and a whiff of its breath. The wolf had two shiny glowing eyes that appeared to be made out of emeralds. Using the knife I always kept on my side, I made a stab at its stomach and pushed it off of me. Quickly, I stood up and smashed the beast's head with a powerful stomp.

The form of the wolf crumbled into a pile of sticks, leaving behind those two glowing gems from before. "They're enchanted," I thought to myself. "Separate the eyes from the body to make a nice pile of firewood."

Using that new found knowledge to my advantage, I made quick work of the next wolf who was stupid enough to jump over me. Grabbing the walking stick that lie next to my previous kill, I lifted it up and ran it through beast's skull. Thanks to the momentum the wolf had given me, I easily smashed its face into the ground, causing it to comically fall apart into a pile of sticks.

"Two down. One to go," I taunted.

The final wolf charged at me with its jaws wide open. I held my walking stick tightly and aimed for it's mouth. To my benefit, the beast kept running, soon finding its throat full of my wood (oh god that came out wrong).

"Gotcha now, bitch," I told the wolf, pinning its head to the ground. "If only I had some lighter fluid..." The beast tried with all its might to back out of snare I had it in. 'Twas truly wonderful but, instead of making the wolf any longer, I smashed its head after pulling my stick out of his mouth (I swear, these wood jokes just keep happening).

"Definitely not dreaming," I said, heart still pounding from the adrenaline.

To keep the wolves from regenerating like I had seen in the show, I grabbed all six emeralds off the ground and placed them in my backpack. Using their remains, I built a campfire. A quick swipe of a match to set the by grass and leaves below the pile ablaze, sending small glowing embers into the air. Following an ember, I found my gaze soon fixed upon Her Majesty's actual moon. It was bigger than the one back home, and twice as beautiful. And the stars, oh god the stars... With out any bright city lights to drown them out, they shown down so bright.

I sat for nearly an hour, just staring up at the night sky. The fire was beginning to die out, so I added a few more sticks from the pile I had 'collected', and prepared my emergency bedroll for the night.

Take off the utility belt, watch (which appeared to have stopped working), compass (which spun randomly), and backpack. With all things in order I nodded of into a oddly peaceful slumber.

The next morning I woke up to a rumbly-tumbly. Birds called from the trees around my small camp, and the place looked much better in daylight. The trees and plants looked much less menacing and the animal calls sounded much more relaxed. Dew still on the ground, producing a wonderful 'wet grass' smell, and the waterfall provided a nice background noise to all the morning sounds.

Taking a deep breath in and exhaling happily, I climbed out of my sleeping bag to assess my situation. My nose throbbed, and felt rather swollen. Probably the fault of my childish running through a... Portal?

That was a big can of worms. I ran through a portal, that was possibly miles out from my home, which is already miles out from civilization, and tripped twice into what I believed to be a dream come true. I then wandered through the forest to find water that defies science, and get attacked by wooden wolves. All happened while seeing the world through a cartoony filter. "Holy shit..." I proclaimed, coming to a realization.

"I'M IN EQUESTRIA! I'M IN EQUESTRIA!" I yelled at the top of my lungs in a sing-song voice, prancing around like an idiot as I did so.

I soon gathered my thoughts and returned to the more serious state of mind, gathering my things and noticing my needs. Food. I had that. Rummaging through my backpack I quickly found a pack of homemade deer jerky. I downed it fast, thinking about how that could possibly be my last meaty meal in my life.

"No regrets," I stated to the judgemental eyes watching me from nowhere in particular.

I thought back to the fight last night, with the Timberwolves. They had enchanted eyes, which was (mostly likely) the source of power keeping them alive. "They're a form of Golem," I concluded. Just then a very dangerous idea passed through my head... "I should make my own!"

"There," I said, wiping non-existent sweat off my brow. "Now the eyes," digging in one of the pockets of my backpack, I found and placed the two emeralds where the eye sockets were. My work began to glow.

"RAWWK!" My beautiful bird-like creation screeched, spreading its wings.

It appeared to be something like an Eagle, and actually looked surprisingly badass. Its beak was sharp and curved downward, made out of a piece of charred wood I'd carved. Its chest was puffed out and covered in ash, giving it a black color, and its wings were made out of fern-like leaves layered over one and other, with thin but strong sticks for structure. I, of course, was amazed by my work and utter the first words that came to mind.

"... I'm a fucking genious."

The bird looked at me with those fiery green eyes, and cocked its head at me as if to ask a question.

"Golem," I spat out. "Your new name is Golem."

Golem cawed much like it did before.

"Hello Golem, I am Tomas Ignis Matthews. But you can call me Tom," I smiled at the bird.

"Caw!" Golem replied.

Yep, I'm losin' it.

So, after teaching my new pet the rules of my one-man group I gathered my things and set out, hoping to find... some. I soon began to wonder about my goals and ambitions. "What will I do now?"

Another VERY large can of worms. I was a bachelor back home, as soon as I turned 18 I high-tailed it out of the house as fast as I could. I wasn't really the social type and I had no good connection with anyone, even my parents. It wasn't that I had a bad relationship with them either, it's just that no one in the family really expressed any love for eachother. I'm pretty sure the only time my parents ever got it on, was to create me. And that was probably a very awkward experience for both of them.

But me on the other hand, had always had wanderlust. I loved the idea of adventure, and I've been running off into the woods ever since I could walk. I was good with landmark based directions and I could scale pretty much anything if I set my mind to it. Having always loved the high-up views of pretty much anything, I would often find myself scaling a cliff just to see the sunset from a different angle. But it still didn't answer my question...

"Where will you go now?" Asked a voice that was not my own, causing me to jump and jostle the wooden bird on my shoulder.

"Please pardon my starting you, dear Master," Golem spoke in a strangely layered voice.

"Well then," I thought. "He can speak."

"Yes, and I can sin-" Golem began to sing as I clamped his beak shut. I looked at his eyes, hoping to get the message across...

"First, stay outta my head. For your own sanity of course. Second, I don't like flash-mobs, as I am not good at dancing. So, if you ever start singing it better be to music and it better be planned." I shook his beak to add emphasis to my words.

"Yes Master," the bird said after being freed from my grasp.

"Another thing. As far as I'm concerned, anyone/anything that can voice an opinion is an equal. Call me anything but Master," upon my saying this he cocked his head at me confused. It was going to take a while to get it through his head.

"Yes... Tomas. But as for my question before, where do you intend to go?"

"Good question Golem," I stroked the leafy feathers on his head, then rubbed my own chin in thought. "To be honest, I don't know. Do you have any ideas?"

"I'm afraid my knowledge is only limited to what my past form has seen and what I am doing now," He lifted a wing and rubbed under his beak. "But," he said after a short pause, "I know a of a zebra that lives in a tree not far from here."

"Zecora!" I nearly yelled.

"You know of this pony?"

"You could say that," I didn't want to explain humanity to the bird. So I lifted up my arm for him to take off.

"Take me to the zebra!" I bellowed, feeling rather excited.

"Yes Mast- Tom." Golem said, flying to a tree and motioning for me to follow him.

Author's Note

So yea, that happened. I hope you enjoy cliffhangers! 'Cuz I sure do!

On a side note, I need an editor!
p'ls i cant, grammerer gud'

2: Finding a Purpose
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The Wanderer

2: Finding a Purpose

Soon we arrived at Zecora's house. It looked even cooler than it did in the show.

The house looked like Shrek's swamp house with an African twist. Moss and ivy grew in patches all around the tree, and the trees around it provided a nice cozy atmosphere to it. Bottles hung from branches, various masks were littered around, and large plants marked the boundaries of the clearing. The creatures of the forest created yet another magnificent piece to tie it all together.

So like any normal person would do, I walked right up to the door and knocked.

Oh hi Stupid! It's so nice of you to show up again!

"To whom do I owe the pleasure of speaking t-" Zecora began, and stopped upon catching sight of me.

"Uhh... Is this a bad time?" I asked the zebra, who seemed rather surprised at the sound of my voice.

"Umm... No, no! Come in, come in! But first I must-" She paused for a moment, staring at me with her mouth open so wide she could catch flies. "Prepare the den!" She practically yelled the last line as she slammed the door.

"What's her problem?" I pondered aloud, taking no thought into the fact that I was a six foot tall monster which had probably never seen before, and that there was a (rather terrifying) wooden bird placed upon my shoulder.

After some panicked sounds and bumps/crashes, the wood creaked open. Her face was riddled with obvious signs of panic, even her mohawk seemed disheveled. She wore a hesitant smile, as if hoping the creature she had seen had gone away. Luckily for her, I hadn't.

"Agk," Zecora squeaked, choking on her tongue. Her pupils were the size of pinpricks. "Come in, watch your he- ... head."

Myself, being the most graceful bit of sentience to walk this planet, smacked my face on the mask hanging above her door. Golem had taken off from my shoulder, perhaps seeing this coming. I soon found myself on the ground (again) wearing said mask.

"I shouldn't have gotten out bed," I groaned. Also unknowingly finishing the poetic zebra's rhyme. Thankfully, this lightened the mood. Zecora let out a light chuckle.

"This tea is amazing Zecora, what's in it?" I asked, finishing off the last bit of my drink.

"For that I use a special brew, the ingredients of which I cannot tell you." The zebra replied, much more relaxed than before.

"Fair enough," I shrugged. "But I have some questions,do you mind answering what you can?"

"I have some questions of my own, but I think that sounds like a plan." Zecora said, doing the same thing I did a few minutes ago. Only she knew what she was doing. I brushed it off as mockery.

"First, does everything really have an outline?"

"Ah, a common problem amongst pony-folk. Some like it and choose to keep it, while others don't," she walked over to a shelf that held plenty a plethora of potions. "A simple cure is what you need. I have it, but it will cause similar effects to that of mead." She grabbed a green bottle off the shelf, holding the neck of the bottle in her mouth. "Put it in a drink and let it steep. But be warned, it puts ponies to sleep." Zecora gave me the bottle, then returned to the cushion she was sitting on before.

"Thank you, I kind of miss small detail." I mumbled the last part. "It makes me wonder though, why does that happen?"

"Some creatures' eyes are not capable of seeing through the magical film that is placed upon their eyes when they enter this realm."

"Enter this realm?" I looked at her quizzically. "Did someone else find that portal?"

"You seem to misunderstand. Usually this potion is under popular demand of mothers of foals who were born with this filter that sets their childrens' world off-kilter." Zecora never once paused to think while saying this, leaving me in awe of her rhyming capability. She was like Dr. Suess mixed with some famous rapper.

"So I suppose I'm an exception?"

Zecora nodded.

"Alright, next question. I need to make some money, do you know where or how I could?" I wasn't going to let off any hints that I knew about this place. "From the fanfictions I've read, she will tell me to go to Ponyville and work for Applejack or something."

"Your pet is crafted from remains of a Timberwolf, yes?" She asked, looking at Golem, who was perched up on an empty shelf.

"I see him more as a friend that just so happened to create." I told the zebra, throwing her for a major loop.

"..." Zecora looked at me for a moment, then continued: "Pawning off those Timberwolf eyes would probably be in your best interest."

"I see how that could work. But Golem's eyes will remain his, isn't that right Golem?" I looked up at the bird, whom looked at me and cawed.

"Ah, I see. Make me look like a nutjob in front of the lady, I'll get you back." I thought to the bird, I knew he was listening. With a smug look on his face.

Zecora interrupted our mental 'old western stand-off' with the clearing of her throat.

"Oh, last question." I spat out, regained a comfortable sitting position, then continued: "Do you know or have anything that might be useful to me before I leave?"

"Then I simply must know, what do you want and where will you go?" She looked at me with honest wonder in her eyes, "never before have I seen a creature like you, so I must know: 'where do you belong?', here? or a Zoo?"

"I guess that's a problem I haven't quite solved yet... I love travel, I mean, like I'm an adventurer at heart, but I hate killing. Anything sentient I have trouble with. It's a big thing back in my world," I scratched my head and looked up in thought. "I could do so many things that might help you pe- ponies, like ridding the forest of Timberwolves or perhaps just subduing them. I might just go around looking for problems I can solve...

"Just kinda wander around and see what I can see before I die." I shrugged my shoulders, turning back to Zecora.

The zebra tapped her chin with a hoof, "I can provide you with a tools and lead you to Ponyville. But I ask of one thing of you before I do so, may I have a set of those eyes? One to keep and one to be used in your will?"

"What do you mean by 'in my will'?" I questioned her, then she motioned for me to give her the weapon I used fight the Timberwolves.

"Follow me and you shall see," she said, leading me into a room lined with bookshelves.

In the middle of the room there sat a black table, which appeared to be made from volcanic glass, and on the corners it was plated foggy blue diamonds. On top was a book that appeared to levitate, it turned toward whoever was closest to it and opened automatically. When it opened small runes flew from the bookshelves into the book. The room itself was square-shaped and was dimly lit by only a candle in a bottle hanging above.

"Pass me an eye of a Timberwolf please." Zecora's face was very serious, it was almost scary. Her brow was furrowed and it looked like that no matter what happened, she would not look away from that book.

So I did as the zebra said and passed her the gem.

Zecora held the gem (with no fingers might I add,) just inches above the book. She placed there for a second and read the pages, "bane of arthropods? No..." She mumbled under her breath. She picked the gem up and repeated the process six times before finally exclaiming: "That's it!" The emerald began to glow purple.

"A high level enchantment was placed upon this eye, give me your staff and raw power will be nigh." Ooh Zecora, bustin' out the Olde English!

She attached the gem to the top of my staff by carving out a small hole and placing tree sap inside. The emerald fit snuggly into said hole and began to glow a little bit brighter.

"Because this gem was enchanted so long ago, its power will never cease to glow." Zecora spoke rhythmically, passing it to me.

"Wow, so what does the enchantment do?" All my manners were forgotten, as I was more excited than a kid on Christmas. The zebra smiled.

"It is a will spell. Think of a command to ring this bell," she told me, producing a small bell from one of the countless shelves in the main room.

I pointed the newly-bedazzled end of my staff at the bell, "push." I had hoped the clapper would be pushed against the wall of the bell... I may have over shot it...

The bell shot out of Zecora's grasp, rocketed to the other side of the room and embedded itself into the wall. The look on her face was priceless.

"Umm... Much like a muscle this spell will need to be exercised, but too much use will leave it compromised."

"That's fucking awesome, thanks Zecora!" I jumped to hug her, making her eyes go rather wide. Once again, priceless. I dug through the pocket in my backpack and produced the odd numbered eye, leaving me with only two.

"Payment for the hospitality and services," I held out the gem. "Thanks again Zecora." I began to head towards the door, while also being hit in the face by bottled candles several times before actually ducking my head to keep what little bit of sense I had left.

Graceful. As. Fuck.

"Before you go I must show you the path to Ponyville. Take it as a gesture of goodwill."

"Bye Zecora," I shouted back to her, hands cupped to make it louder. "May we cross paths again soon!" She waved back with a legitimate smile on her face. Or at least from what I could see.

"Screwy-ass magical filter bullshit," I grumbled in my mind. Everything still had that cartoonish outline, but the thought that I would soon be able to get rid of it put me at ease.

The path she had directed me down was more of a dirt road than a path, and any thought of 'exploring' was shot down quickly by the pernicious plants placed particularly along the side of said path. The trees were tall and terribly terrifying, even in broad daylight. Poison Joke was dotted dodgingly and decoratively along the winding walkway. My wooden birdy buddy bolted through the breeze, reminding me of something that needed to be done delicately and devilishly. I smiled as I thought...

"Push!" I yelled internally, pointing the staff at Golem.

Golem was immediately launched several hundred feet up in the air, letting out a panicked screech as he did so. The bird soon reached the apex of his near-orbital flight and regained control. He was so high up in the air I could faintly hear him when he yelled.

"Asshat!"

Quickly, he made his descent in the form of a dive. Golem punched through the puffy clouds at a breakneck speed, getting closer and closer as he did so. I could've sworn I'd seen a cone forming around him, but right before the wooden winged harem of death hit me, he spread his wings fully. The wind hit me just as hard as he would've however, kicking up leaves and whatever had been loosely settled on the forest floor.

"You're developing quite the personality," I told him waving dust away from my face as I did so.

"I prefer to think of it as 'picking up traits from a friend,'" Golem said, puffing up his chest.

"Well friend, care join me on my walk to Ponyville?"

Golem smirked (much like I would) and landed upon my shoulder.

And I began to walk into my next adventure.

Author's Note

Second chapter done! Hyped up on caffeine and full of energy so I gotta use it while I can!

Anyway, I will try to get chapters out as fast as possible not to keep you guys waiting, but I shall make no promises.

Also, I need an editor and an artist, as I am terrible at both. PM me if you are interested.

Finally I would like to add that things can only get better from here, I have big plans for this story. I have never really been good with intros to my stories and my detail is slightly lacking so it is nice to get some practice in. The positive feedback is also pretty awesome too guys, thanks!

~NCC

3: The Chapter in Which Many Things Happen
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The Wanderer

3: The Chapter in Which Many Things Happen

It was about midday, the sun was overhead and a light breeze was present. Cicadas buzzed melodically, birds did their usual calls, and everything had a nice happy feeling to it. Thatched roofed cottages dotted the horizon, each one different from the next. Two familiar structures were visible; a large tree-house/library, and a clock tower which confirmed my approximation of the time. The drone of happy voices stretched far from the town. I came the tree line, peering into the rather massive settlement.

Colorful ponies walked about, going through their day-to-day errands and chatting up others. An occasional griffon or diamond dog was visible, but heavily outnumbered. The griffons were all different in colors and head shape, the diamond dogs were all various in breed and color, and both groups appeared to mix in well.

"It's a utopia, of course ponies aren't racist," but just as I finished that thought I was proved wrong an accidental-shoulder-bump-induced yelling match between a pony and griffon. It was very one sided.

"The buck's ya prahblem, buckin' feathabrain?" The earth pony yelled. His coat was sandy in color, with a darker outline. His mane was short and his tail was cropped to a forty-five degree angle, both were a deep brown. He shall henceforth be referred to as Ass Nugget.

"I-I'm sorry... I-It was an accident!" Mumbled the griffon, with his sky blue eyes the size of pinpricks. He had pristine white feathers on the underside of his beak and in top of his head. His beak was black and a trail of black feathers behind his eyes reminded me of an Osprey, and his body was a dark shade of grey. He shall henceforth be referred to as Victim.

"Like Tartarus it was!" Yelled Ass Nugget

"Now listen 'ere you little shit," I began, trudging out of my shady hiding spot and pointing the business end of of my staff at him. "Where I come from, racism IS NOT appreciated."

"And who ah you to talk, mista haihless ape?!" Ass Nugget spat, his anger causing his cartoony face to glow cartoonishly red.

"I am your worst nightmare," I said, mimicking a certain hero. Don't judge me.

Golem decided it was his time to intervene. He launched off my shoulder at the pony, stopping right in his face to flare his wings and screech. This scared the racist asshole, causing him to back pedal and trip over his own hooves.

Golem, hovering above the stallion, opened his beak to speak. "Should you utter another derogatory term, I will make sure it is your last." The depth of his voice made my chest rumble.

"Damn dude, that's fuckin' terrifying."

Ass Nugget nodded his head quickly and took off around the next corner, comically leaving a dust cloud shaped like him where he lay. Golem returned to his perch upon my shoulder and we turned to face Victim.

"T-Thanks," said the griffon. "If I had've fought back I'd break parol."

"Wow..." I mumbled. All my headcanons were simultaneously shattered, leaving me with so many questions.

"I don't think the laws count if you're an unknown species though," the griffon continued. He scratched his head and looked up at me. "What are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"I am Tomas Ignis Matthews, and I am a Homo Sapien."

"So you're like a smart naked monkey?"

"I guess you could say that," I returned then began to ponder my origins.

"Well I'm Tobias," he held out a claw, "It's nice to meet you."

I grabbed his claw and gave a firm shake then pointed to the bird on my shoulder. "This is Golem, I made him from Timberwolf scraps." Golem nodded his head to confirm. "He's quite awesome to have around."

"Wait, where'd you get Timberwolf scraps?" Asked Tobias.

"I was attacked by three of them out in the Everfree," I gestured toward the shadowy forest from which I came.

"What the hell were were you doing in the Everfree?!"

"It's a rather long story, some details I'd prefer not to share." I winced, thinking back to the encounter with the mighty root.

"It's a good thing you made it out, those Timberwolves are a hassle I hear." He shrugged his shoulders and looked around. "Where ya headed?"

"I need to pawn off some of the Timberwolf eyes and make some bits. Do you know where I could?"

"Those are usually worth a fortune! Are they still enchanted?"

I checked in the backpack pocket which I stored them in to find the gems still glowing brightly. "Yep!" I said excitedly.

"Well there's a thrift shop not to far from here but the shop owner is a bit bitter, if you could get ten grand for both I'd be surprised." He shrugged off the number like it was nothing, me on the other hand, my jaw collided with the dusty ground.

"Ten grand?!"

"They're enchanted man, it ups the price one-hundred fold."

"Well it looks like I'll be doin' some shoppin' today! SeeyalaterTobias, gottarunbye," I yelled as I, comically disappeared leaving a dust cloud shaped like myself.

"Damn, that dude is spastic as fuck..."

Golem managed to keep up with me in my Pinkie Pie-esque state. He flew above while I looked at shop signs, attempting to find said thrift store. Ponies walked about, doing their normal things and giving me strange looks. The occasional "what is that," and "where's its fur?" was heard amongst the crowd. I didn't care, as long as they didn't try to get in my face about it.

Soon, after a bit of walking, I found the store. It was shorter than all the other buildings and was made out of mismatched brick unlike the others. I found that I had to duck to get through the entrance, Golem swooping in from the sky behind me.

"Oi, no pets aloud! D'int you read the sign boy?" An old faded-purple unicorn yelled at me from behind a counter. He had white beard that curled and twisted beneath his chin and his mane was non-existent. He wore a cloak that was deep purple and connected at his shoulder with a golden emblem that resembled a certain hat. All in all, he looked pretty damn cool for an old geezer.

"He ain't a pet," I retorted and let a bit of my accent slip.

"Tomas does not lie," rumbled the bird from my shoulder.

The shopkeeper seemed rather upset about not having the reins to the argument, but dismissed it quickly. "Well I don't care whot you are, as long as ya buy sumthin'." His accent similar to the Scottish accent, but had something else in there. I couldn't put a finger on it.

With that said I began to look around the store. There were all sorts of things, from relics to magical armor. I nearly squee'd.

"We're looking to sell, then perhaps buy." I said turning to look at the unicorn, who was eyeing me suspiciously.

"Whot do you 'ave that may be of int'rest to me?"

"A pair of enchanted Timberwolf eyes."

The geezer's eyes widened as I pulled them out of the pocket, still glowing.

" 'ow'd you get your 'ooves on these?"

"I smashed the beasts that had them in their heads." I stated proudly, folding my arms and puffing up my chest.

" 'ow many 'beasts'?"

"Three," still proud as fuck.

"And whot'd you do with the others?"

I tapped the ground with my staff, "one set was used to make this," then I pointed to Golem, "another to make this." Upon calling him a 'this', Golem snapped at the finger pointed at him.

"Whot a waste," the shopkeeper said under his breath.

"Wasn't your choice ta make," I said. With another accent slip.

"Faih enough," said the unicorn. "I'll give ya ten for the both of em."

"-hundred?" I looked at him, expecting him to agree.

"Grand."

I choked, "why?"

"Ya 'ave good in ya kid. I can see it." The unicorn kept a stoic expression.

"Old english. That's what it was. Like how Hagrid speaks," I thought, missing the whole 'hint at my future' thing.

I handed him the eyes, and he produced a small bag from a safe behind him in return. The bag seemed rather small given the size of bit in the show.

"This bag is a bit small..." I said looking at him.

"Its bigga on the inside than it is on the out." He said, gesturing towards the bag. I peered in.

"...Holy shi- I expected you to sell me short."

" 'id you talk to that griffon?" The shopkeeper looked at me.

"Tobias, yes. He said you were a- What was it... Ah yes, a 'Bit Bitter'."

" 'e's just mad I d'int give 'im this," grunted the unicorn as he pulled out a beautiful guitar.

I drooled a little, "how much?"

"Two grand."

"No wonder he was mad," I chuckled. "I'll take it. Do you have a bass guitar and an acoustic as well?"

"Startin' a band?" He looked at me quizzically.

"On my way over here I saw a bar with a sign that said 'Live Band Wanted', with this newfound info I think I might as well give Tobias the guitar he wanted and head on over there around eight." I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't mind spending two grand on some dude I just met.

"Generous type are ya," he produced the three instruments and their cases. The guitar that was soon to be Tobias' was sky blue with a black neck with chrome frets and inlays. The bridge, strings, and tuners matched the inlays, and a whammy bar tipped with a sapphire sat near the bridge. My bass' body was jet black, the neck was long and made of oak. Every piece of metal on the instrument was made of (or looked like it was made of) gold. The acoustic guitar (that was also going to belong to me) resembled Johnny Cash's, aside from the fact that it had golden strings.

"All togetha, picks, cases, and strings included: Five-thousand bits."

"That's actually a pretty good deal," I said scratching my head, thinking about how I was supposed to carry it all. "Do you, by chance, have a backpack form of this here bit bag?"

"Yep. 'ey're not in really high demand, being as only you and the mutts can wear 'em. That 'ull be an extra twenty-five bits."

"Deal," I said. "I never did catch your name by the way."

"Euwin," he said, reaching out a hoof to confirm the deal. We shook.

"Now to separate out this coinage..."

The sun was beginning to set by the time I got out of the store. Crickets were composing another symphony and the birds finally decided to give it a rest. Cicadas continued to buzz, and foals were out playing for the last few minutes before their mothers came out with a paddle. All the sounds put together reminded me of the summer afternoon in neighborhood I lived in when I was ten. It was so nice.

I walked out to a more open area which was not far from the town. Atop a grassy hill I set up my bedroll under the single tree there. This time I went through the extra effort of putting stones around the fire, as to keep the grass un-charred, and dug out a small pit for the fire to allow more airflow. The fire was lit with a strike of a match; I stood back a few steps to admire my work. Golem perched himself at the highest branch of the tree and drifted off into sweet slumber.

I emptied out my old backpack while the summer sounds sung softly in the background. All its pockets and pouches revealed nothing I had not packed/seen before, aside from a now useless twenty dollar bill. I prepared my new backpack, which was black all over, with its single pouch that could hold a small truck, and two pockets; one being deep enough to house a claymore, and the other only hand deep but long enough to hold a chestful of knick-knacks.

I created imaginary organizer tabs, much like the actual ones in my other backpack, for the pouches and pockets. Treasures and gems in the shallow pocket, weapons in the deep one, and big anythings in the pouch. I placed the instruments in the pouch while wondering how it worked. Scientific me decided to stick my arm in and view with a flashlight.

My limb shrunk as it passed the zipper.

"That's mildly horrifying," I mumbled, ripping my hand back out as quickly as I could. "Not doing that again."

I placed the green potion Zecora gave me in the shallow pouch, hoping there were no side-effects to downing it with alcohol. Beginning to place my staff in the weapon pouch, I found that it didn't shrink. It also appeared to do the same that to magnets with similar poles being pushed together. This was very interesting and very disappointing to me at the same time. I chalked it up that magic was some weird form of electricity and decided to leave my staff at the camp.

I began to place the bit bag in my pocket then remembered something: "Oh god, I haven't changed clothes in two days," I sniffed my underarms then held back a gag. "Or showered."

"I'm going to have to visit best pony!" I squealed quietly, as not to wake my sleeping friend. "But I can't today, I smell like shit and need to be somewhere in two hours." Just then I remembered the river I passed when leaving the town.

One thing lead to another and I found myself soaked, but clean.

I stripped down, hoping that Golem wouldn't wake up to cause a very awkward moment, and hung my clothes off the branch that was so conveniently placed over the fire. Just high enough to keep the flames off of them. Seeing this done I settled down for a nap.

One hour and thirty minutes later...

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

"Shhh... too short." I grunted and trashed at the wind up-alarm.

It was about time for me to head to the bar, so I grabbed the warm clothes off the branch and put them on. The feeling that the clothes gave me was both terrible and wonderful at the same time.

"AGH IT'S LIKE A MILLION LITTLE ANTS!"

Mental Note: Drying clothing over a fire makes it VERY itchy.

Several minutes passed of me running around like an idiot before the itching subsided. Calmly, collectively, and maturely, I grabbed my backpack, my knife; in case things went awry, and the bag of bits.

Heading off into the town I turned back and looked up at the tree.

"Goodnight my friend. I should be back by morning," I told the bird, even though he was obviously not listening.

The bar bustled with burly voices and bright lights from the inside. Ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs could be seen inside, sitting at tables in their respective groups. Ponies sat with their kind, an occasional stallion walking up to a mare and dropping a one liner to be smacked and return to their group with a defeated look on their face. Griffons did the same to their own group, only the male to female ratio was much less balanced, males being heavily outnumbered. Diamond dogs would simply sit and drool at the females, only to snap their eyes to their drinks when she turned their way.

The Bartender wasn't visible from outside the bar, so I entered. The bar went silent as all eyes bored into my skin.

"Uh, heeeey." I mentally shrunk and began to backpedal.

A grizzled griffon made himself visible from behind the counter, "who are you?"

With a gust of wind and a butt clench, a claw rested upon my shoulder.

"A friend," responded Tobias. I opened my eyes to look at him.

He hovered there, with gigantic black wings speckled with grey pumping lightly to keep him up. His eyes were focused at the bartender's, with the most stern expression I've ever seen. Its very hard to be threatening with baby-blue eyes, but this guy pulled it off.

"Alright," came the bartender griffon with an Australian accent. The creatures of the bar returned to do whatever they were doing and the sound level returned to normal. A few ponies however continued to stare at me, commenting on my appearance and whatnot.

I turned back to Tobias. "Thanks man, I hate it when that kinda thing happens."

"No problem, but it is a bit of a surprise seeing you here. What with the whole appearing out of the forest with no bits and a pair of gems. On that note, what did you get out of that old unicorn?"

"About five grand, a backpack, and a few instruments. One of which I think you might be happy to see," I said, searching for an empty table. "But first lets get a table."

So, the griffon and I did as said and found an empty booth to sit in. I took off my backpack and rummaged through it while Tobias spoke from the other side of the table.

"Are you telling me you got a full payment from Euwin?!" He looked at me dumbfounded.

"Yea," I grunted as I pulled out the guitar case. "And I think he's a pretty nice guy if you can keep a level head." I popped the latch to the case, revealing Tobias' new guitar.

"Dude really?!" His eyes shimmered

"No its mine, I was just showing you it," I snapped the case closed and waited for his reaction. He visibly sagged, muttering only one word:

"Okay..."

"Just kidding!" I opened it back up, "All yours buddy."

"Holy shit man, thanks. But in all seriousness, don't play with my emotions like that." He tapped his claw on the table to emphasize his words. I merely chuckled.

"So, you play huh? How good are you?" I taunted him, pulling out my bass. I walked over to the stage at the corner of the bar, motioning for him to follow. "Do you know a little tune by the name of 'Another One Bites the Dust'?"

"AWW HELL YES!"

I climbed up on the stage, Tobias and some diamond dog followed. The canine hopped on the drums eagerly and began playing.

That was my cue, I slapped the thick chrome strings and Tobias picked up the beat.

"Oh! Lets go!" I nearly squealed. I fucking loved this song.

"Steve walks warily down the street,

Brim pulled way down low.

Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,

Machine gun ready to go."

I sang as I strutted across the stage, playing as I did so.

"Are you ready, hey are you ready for this?

Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

Out of the doorway the bullets rip,

To the sound of the beat yeah."

Tobias sung in unison with me for the chorus.

"Another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the dust.

Another one gone and another one gone,

Another one bites the dust.

Hey, I'm gonna get you too,

Another one bites the dust."

The griffon shedded his strings then transitioned to a funky new set of chords. I began to sing, throwing my head back as I did so, Freddie Mercury would be proud.

"How do you think I'm gonna get along,

Without you when you're gone?

You took me for everything that I had,

And kicked me out on my own."

I turned to face the creatures of the bar.

"Are you happy? Are you satisfied?

How long can you stand the heat?

Out of the doorway the bullets rip,

to the sound of the beat, look out!"

Tobias shredded the strings yet again, in perfect sync with the rhythm. We began to sing the chorus, this time the doggy drummer joined in.

"Another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the dust.

Another one gone and another one gone,

Another one bites the dust.

Hey, I'm gonna get you too,

Another one bites the dust."

"Hey!" I yelled as the crowd began to clap, "Oh, take it! Bite the dust!"

Tobias decided it was time to sing so I let him have the next part.

"Bite the dust hey,

Hey, another one bites the dust,

Another one bites the dust oww!

Another one bites the dust, hey! Hey!

Another one bites the dust hey-yay-ya-ya-ya

Ooh shoota!"

I took back the reins and began to sing.

"There are many ways you can hurt a man and bring him to the ground,

You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad,

And leave him when he's down yeah.

But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you,

I'm standing on my own two feet,

Out of the doorway the bullets rip,

Repeating to the sound of the beat."

The whole bar began to sing the next part.

"Another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the dust.

Another one gone and another one gone,

Another one bites the dust.

Hey, I'm gonna get you too,

Another one bites the dust."

"Shoota! Ye-ah! Alright," sang Tobias, his eyes closed in concentration. The drummer finished off the song with a hit to each piece, allow the crowd to hoot and cheer as he did so.

Tobias and I returned to the table, fist/claw bumping before we sat down again. I searched around for our anonymous drummer, only to see a red bandana being held up by a brindle paw near the stage. He was surrounded by four other diamond dogs.

"Look, we-a ahll dogs he-a," nervously chuckled the Bostonian terrier in the center of the group. "I jus' said dat ya motha's must be beautiful ladies."

"Then ya followed up with 'Cuz yous guys are pretty ugly'," said the rather bulky, but short, bulldog advancing on the drummer. Slobber rolled from his jowls and hit the floor with a splat, and when he breathed it sounded as if he was snoring. His coat was brown with a white scarf-like pattern around his neck. I couldn't see their faces, but I knew by the breathing (and the drool) that they were bulldogs. They inched closer and closer to the terrier, boxing the box-headed little guy in.

Time to intervene.

"Break it up dogs. If yer offended by the kid's talent for insults, ya can come take it up with me." I quipped, my southern drawl taking its toll on the seriousness of my words.

Instead of doing what I had hoped, the dogs turned and began to advance upon me. Seeing this happen, I flicked up the side of my shirt to show the rather large hunting knife on my belt. "Care ta rethink that?"

The dogs nodded and hung their heads in defeat, returning to their table. I turned to Tobias, who was watching.

"Thank the heavens that they didn't call my bluff." He chuckled as I turned away and motioned for the terrier to come sit with us.

"I was ahbout to get my tail handed to me the-a. Thanks mistah...?" He held out his paw.

I shook. "Tomas," I said eyeing him. He was brindle, with a white mask and scarf pattern in his fur, and his eyes were greenish-brown, like the bandana he had now tied around his neck. His head was that of a boston terrier, well-known for picking fights with things bigger than themselves.

"That explains a lot..."

"I'm Domnic, yous can cahll me Dom."

The griffon held out a claw, "I'm Tobias. The friend of the guy who saved your ass." They shook.

Just then a very familiar unicorn entered the bar, caught my eye, and sat down right next to the griffon who had accused him of greed. The expression on Tobias' face was priceless. And the store owner knew what he had done.

"Migh'y nice seein' you 'ere Tomas." He nodded at me then turned to the griffon with a devilish smile on his face.

"I 'ope you thanked this man 'ere for the instra'ment?"

"I- uh, Yes... Yes, I-I did."

"I'm just mess'n with ya boy, let's go get some drinks," with that said, Euwin left his seat. He lead us to four empty bar stools.

"I'll 'ave a shot of some bourbon." The old unicorn told the bartender, then climbed into his seat.

"Got any Captain?" I asked and the griffon prepared a glass, pouring the luscious brown liquid in. He turned to Tobias.

"The usual?"

"Yep," replied Tobias. The bartender whipped up a Shirley Temple in front of him.

"I haven't seen you here in a while," he then said to Dom, the diamond dog.

"Well yous is duh one who kicked me out last time," spoke Dom. "I's figyuh'd it'd be a bit stupid tuh come back duh next day."

The bartender laughed and produced a plain mug of beer for the dog. I figured they'd had a love-hate relationship for a while.

The bartender himself was a very interesting character, from his Seagull-like appearance to the stubble that had somehow grown on his beak. He was off-white in color and looked as though he'd been in a few fights, judging by the fact that Dom said that he had kicked him out before, I concluded that he was probably the bar's security as well.

Four stools down, A aquamarine pegasus sat with her eyes glazed over pointed at her empty glass. Her mane was golden, outlined in a deeper tone, and gave off the look of grief. Her cutie mark was a white lightning bolt striking three gold stars.

"Awww shit, its Lightning Dust..."

"Another... Please," she demanded then pulled back.

"Atta girl," said the bartender walking over to her with another mug. "Go easy on this one, it's bad enough doin' what you're doin' now."

Lightning Dust looked up at the bartender with a flame in her eyes, "Don't try and give me ad-" She paused and realized what she was starting. "...T-thanks."

"That's just fucking sad." I thought, seeing the distraught female. My inner knight in shining armor convinced me to go talk to her.

"You guys get to know each other, I'm gonna be right back," I told the group as I got up from my stool. They nodded and went back to the conversation they were having, something about politics.

I walked myself and drink over to Lightning Dust who now stared into a mug full of a golden bubbly liquid. I glanced over her form, she was tense in the shoulders, hinting that she was anxious about something. Her mane was a sign that lack of hygiene and heavy drinking had been a pattern for at least a week, and her breathing was slow and shallow. In other words, she looked like she felt. Shit.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked the pegasus.

She turned from her mug to look at me, "Why, of all the seats in the bar, do you choose the one next to me?"

I decided to be honest with her. "Because ya look like shit." I plopped down on the stool to her left as she turned away from me and, once again, faced her drink.

"Great, another dick looking to come 'help' the girl looks down. You probably just want to get some ass."

"Actually no, you look like shit and I don't think that drinking is gonna help you at all." I told her straight, as I could tell she needed some honesty. "Alcohol is a depressant. If you're feeling like life sucks, this is going to make you hate it even more." I tapped the mug and got her to look at me. "I've been in the same shit hole you're in now. I can tell ya, it ain't fun. The only way to get out of it is to talk to someone."

"Maybe you're right, or maybe you're wrong. I don't bucking know anymore." She shivered, the tension in her neck and shoulders was released a little.

"Step one: Tear down the walls. Check."

"I failed him," she shivered more. "I failed him and now he won't let me back."

"Your father I presume?"

"Yea," she fought back her tears. "He told me to be the greatest before I left," Lightning Dust slammed her hoof on the counter." and I got bucking kicked out. And here I am now, living in a bar and pouring my heart out to a stranger... I am halfway through my bucking twenties! I should have this shit sorted out by now!"

"Actually, you made a mistake. This problem is present, but its only as severe as you're making it" I rested a hand on her shoulder. "You can do this, you just need some help and time to process it."

"Maybe you're right, maybe you're dead wrong," she turned and looked at my hand then at me. "What's your name?"

"Tomas, and yours?" I knew, but I had to ask to avoid creepiness.

"Lightning Dust."

I got up from my seat and bowed... Forgetting the drink in my hand, I spilt it on my shoes. This act elicited a giggle from the mare.

"Step two: Lighten the mood. Check."

"Would you like to meet my friends?" Asked her after cleaning up said mess with a pile of napkins.

"Sure," Lighting dust smoothed out her mane as she said this.

"Guys... and gal. Ah think we should do another song." I hiccuped.

"I dunno man," said Tobias. "We're all a bit tipsy."

"Nah," denied the group in unison.

"Ah'll stomp my hooves or somethin', but I won't sing," gargled a wasted pegasus.

"Yous guise are duh bestest frien's I *-Hiccup-* evur had," slurred Dom as he glomped all of us.

We all wobbled up to the stage, aside from Euwin, who was smart enough to stay back.

"Do ya guys know 'Burnin' Ring of Fire'?" I turned to my band mates, teetering as I picked up my guitar case.

"Tha one by Johnny Bits?" Asked drunken Lightning Dust.

"Johnny Bi- Yea whatevur," said I, remembering I was in a different reality. Slinging the strap over my shoulder, I without hesitation had chosen a love song to/with a female I had just met.

Drunk Tomas is not a smart man.

I hooked Lightning Dust by the neck and pulled her closer to me, making a decision that I might possibly regret in the near future.

"Let's do this." I said, then reached for the microphone as Domnic began on the trumpet? "I didn't know he could play that..."

"Love is a burning thing,

And it makes a fiery ring.

Bound by wild desire,

I fell into a ring of fire."

I sang with my southern drawl full blast, and I could've sworn I saw Lightning Dust blush as I began the chorus. She harmonized with me.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire.

I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire,

The ring of fire."

Dom continued on with his trumpeting as I glanced at the pegasus next to me. Her face lit up red and she turned away. Tobias, holding my bass, chuckled quietly as he played. He knew what was up and I hadn't a clue.

So I started to sing again.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire.

I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire,

The ring of fire.

"The taste of love is sweet,

When hearts like ours meet.

I fell for you like a child,

Oh, but the fire went wild."

The chorus came again and Dust sung with me.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire.

I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire,

The ring of fire.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire.

I went down, down, down and the flames went higher.

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire,

The ring of fire.

"And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire,

The ring of fire,

The ring of fire..."

The crowd cheered for the last time that night, we all drunkenly bowed and sat on the edge of the stage. Our instruments lay in their respective cases, their players: tired and drunk, but never to out of it to care for them. My bass and acoustic sit in the hard latched cases, Dom's trumpet sat in its place behind the drumkit, and Tobias' guitar sat on the left side of the stage.

Euwin joined us as I looked around the bar. Ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs were sitting at tables in mixed groups. A diamond dog sat beside a griffon and a unicorn, all three in a fit of laughter. Griffons mixed themselves in with other species, letting any idea of segregation be dismissed. Even the burly biker bulldogs had a few ponies in the mix.

I smiled. If I were a pony and I were a blank flank I'd be getting my cutie mark right now.

"That's it!" I stated aloud, causing my peers to jump. I stood up...

...And being as drunk as I was, fell face-first off the stage.

Graceful. As. Fuck.

4: Preparation
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The Wanderer

4: Preparation

4: Preparation

"Mornin' sunshine," came a gruff voice over the fire... And the intense pounding in my head.

"Ermph," I retorted, eyes still closed. My face and neck hurt, as well as my head. I blindly reached for my face only to find a wad of bandages where my nose was. "What happened?"

"You fell off the stage Tom," said Euwin. "Ya nose was broke so I had to r'set it with me magic."

"-Five more minutes ma..." Mumbled a familiar feminine voice from behind where I lay, explaining the warmth on my back. Lightning Dust threw her hoof over me and pulled. "Oh dear god I hope we didn't-" I shot my eyes open at the thought, only to recoil in pain and bop the pegasus on the nose with my massive cranium. Both parties groaned in pain.

"Agh, what the bu-" Lightning Dust opened her eyes slowly as she stood up from her (still cartoony) resting place. They darted from me, to Euwin, to the others sleeping in their own bedrolls, then back to me. "I- uh... Yea maybe... Igottagocleanoffberightback," she stammered before she took off in the direction of the river. She moved remarkably fast given the fact that she was very hungover.

"A few more details on last night would be appreciated Euwin," I said as I squinted at the thistle unicorn with a lavender outline. He held a pan in a golden aura, levitating it over the campfire.

"Well, aftah you broke ya shnoz from the fall, you grabbed ya stuff and ran outta the bar calling for us to follow you." He began, "and by some wicked possession, we did. You bought us all sumthin' to sleep on, ramblin' on about seein' the world and whatnot. The girl was attached to ya side the entire time. She's got an eye for you kid, if you didn't know alrea'y know, and you now 'ave a group to look out for."

I sat up and looked at my peers, Tobias lying in a cat-like position atop his bedroll close to the fire, Dom lay at the base of the tree with only his ears visible from the sleeping bag, and Lightning Dust, who was once curled up behind me, but was now somewhere in the water. Euwin was right, I had people who looked up to me. I had to lead them, and care for their needs, and keep them all safe, and monitor their relationships, and...

"I sound like my mother."

Lightning Dust made a rather sudden entrance by descending from above, unsettling the air around us. The campfire flickered and popped in protest but remained ablaze. Dust was kicked up, swirling back to a resting place upon the ground once again.

"Heya Dust," I smiled, hoping to make things a little less awkward.

"Hey... Owww my head," she said then raised a hoof to her temples. "Euwin, you've been at this for a while, any quick cures for a hangover?"

"Yes, I've been workin' on it since before you two got up. Dried Poison Joke leaves ground into any meal will clear up any minah ailments. When dried, Poison Joke is its own antidote." The old unicorn said, flipping the eggs in the pan telekinetically. He seemed to grin when he shared his knowledge. "It's rea'y."

Within minutes of eating, my pounding headache subsided and the hangover was no more for myself and my group. The morning was beginning to transfer to noon by the time all of us were awake. The sky was azure blue, dotted with a few puffy cartoon clouds here and there, and the dew on the ground was beginning to evaporate. I took note of the cartoony look and concluded that I hadn't drank the potion yet.

Tobias and Dom sat near the fire, eating their late breakfast whilst staring into the smoldering pile. Lightning Dust sat beside Euwin and I as we set our gaze toward the town which was beginning to wake. Golem made his presence known and flew down from his perch to land on my shoulder. This startled the pegasus and the diamond dog.

"Good morning Golem," I smiled at the bird.

"New friends? This should be interesting," he replied then stared at Dom. The dog, having a mouthful of eggs, stared back and left his jaw agape. Lightning Dust seemed just as surprised.

"You've met Tobias and Euwin," both nodded in confirmation. "This is Lightning Dust," I pointed towards the pegasus whom awkwardly waved back. "And this is Domnic." I finished, pointing at the dog. Bits of his meal tumbled out of his mouth.

"Greetings," replied Golem.

"Now that everyone is acquainted, would you like to hear today's agenda?" I asked the group. They nodded in unison.

"Okay, I'm going to give you each one-thousand bits to spend on whatever you think you may need for this trip. Aside from you Euwin, I know you have a private stock you've been holding out on," I prodded the old unicorn who was still wearing that mysterious purple cloak. "I'm counting on you guys to make good use of this money, any leftover bits can be kept. As for myself, I need to head to a certain boutique and pick up some clothes, while I do this you guys can shop. We meet back here at two." I pointed towards the clock tower which chimed as it struck eleven o' clock.

"Any questions?None? Good."

Rarity's boutique was massive, simply as put. I marveled at the carousel that sat atop the functional piece of the building. The pony shaped figures were life-size, like the one on the sign which hung above the door. I ducked through the door after knocking thrice, to find that a bell hung above it. It rung louder than any of my knocks, alerting the seamstress who stood facing a mannequin.

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is shiq-" Rarity began, then halted as she caught sight of me. "I- Um... H-How may I help you?"

"I need a few sets of clothes, and I'm pretty sure nowhere sells for my species. Word is that you're a rather amazing seamstress and that you might be able to help me." I said in my most formal tone.

Shut up. You'd try to impress her if you were in this situation too.

"How many sets?" Asked the unicorn.

"A weeks worth. How much might that cost?"

"It depends on the amount of fabric used, allow me to get your measurements."

One hour later...

"OW!" I yelped, struggling to escape the sadistic torturer's telekinetic grasp.

"Quit fidgeting and it may hurt less!" Shouted the alabaster demon, who was no longer best pony. She attempted to gut me with another needle.

"Finished," said my tormenter as she levitated a massive mirror in front of me.

There I stood, looking back at a cartoony rendition of myself. I wore a tunic, adorned with brass buttons and an earth colored vest. The tunic itself was and eggshell color, and it was the only one of the seven Rarity had made me to have a brown vest instead of black. The pants were simply denim, having little diversity between the other pairs. The evil unicorn had also made me seven sets of socks upon my request, though they were a bit too long and lacy for my liking.

I beamed. "Wow, these are really nice!" I stated, still staring at my reflection. "How much do I owe you?"

"A bit per outfit, these are very simple so the price shall be the same."

"I cannot accept such a gift and only pay seven bits. Twenty-five per outfit, no more no less." I stamped my foot to emphasize my point.

"For such an ensemble?! I could never charge that much!" Rarity put a hoof to her chest as she said this. Dramatic and generous, she regained the title of best pony.

"I insist," I stepped down from the pedestal she had me standing on. "It is a small sum compared to what a weeks worth of clothing would cost where I come from. A single outfit is at least half of the total of this, I am ripping you off as is so please, take this." I tossed a small bag containing the one-hundred and seventy-five bits to her.

"I suppose I have to," she began. "If it is morally wrong for you, I must respect that."

I gathered the clothing and placed it in my the shallow pocket of my backpack. "Thank you and have a wonderful day!" I said as I nodded and head out the door.

"Now to head to Euwin's shop," I mused. "I'm sure he's there, if I catch him maybe I could buy some armor."

"Thrift Shoppe." I read the sign in my head. It matched the pony inside; Old English and faded.

The closed sign was visible from the inside, but the door was ajar and the lights were on. I could hear the old unicorn rummaging through his things and occasionally cursing under his breath. I entered, knocking on the door as I did so. "Hey Euwin. You in here?"

"No, go away." The geezer retorted in a sarcastic tone, so I delved deeper into the building. I came to the counter I had seen yesterday to see Euwin's greyish white tail was bobbing up and down in the back room's doorway.

"I'm looking to buy some lightweight armor, do you have any that may fit me by chance?" I called. The unicorn backed up, revealing a cutie mark of a hat and compass. He continued until he was able to spin around and face me, upon doing that I got a good look at his getup. A hat that resembled the one on his butt and pendent on his cloak sat on his head. A golden compass held by silver chain hung from his neck, needle spinning wildly.

"I got some D-Dog armor tha' might fit you, can't be certain 'owever." Euwin began to walk deeper into the shop. "Follow me."

I did as told and followed the unicorn. We came to a wall of diamond dog mannequins sporting various pieces of armor. Euwin levitated a rather large metal chestplate over my head, then promptly dropped it on my shoulders without warning.

"AGK! I said light!" I screeched while he simply chuckled. The unicorn lifted the piece off my shoulders and placed it back on the appropriate mannequin. I sighed in relief as he picked the chainmail shoulderpads off the mannequin farthest from us. This time he placed it on my shoulders gently.

I rotated both shoulders while Euwin telekinetically clipped the armor on around my chest. It fit snugly, allowing full arm movement, and only had a little bit of weight making it rather comfortable. The unicorn grinned, having found a good set. "Now for the gaun'lets," he said as he levitated the iron gloves off the mannequin.

The gauntlets fit everything except my fingers. Diamond dogs only have four, making it hard for all five of mine to cram into a space not big enough for them. Euwin saw this and undid the pins that connected the top of the hand to the fingers, this popped the appendages off and allowed my fingers free movement.

"Its not like you'll be blockin' anythin' with ya fingers anyway," said the old unicorn to justify the lack of protection to my favorite limbs. "I'll give both to you free, as ya the group leader 'n all." He smiled at me.

"Euwin, you are like the crazy awesome grandpa I never had." I glomped him.

"Thanks kid," he wiggled out of my death grip. " 'ows about weapons?"

"I'm good on those," I responded as I thought about my staff. It served as a ranged and close-quarters weapon thanks to Zecora, and I was rather good with it. This made me think about the group. "Have you seen the others? I haven't a clue what they may do weapon-wise."

"Actually, all three of 'em stopped by as soon as I got 'ere. Turns out that griffin 'as some trainin' in swordfighting."

That surprised me too, I was sure Tobias would've prefered ranged weapons. I took my turn to speak, "didn't see that coming. How about Dust?"

"What about the girl?" He got a smug look on his face. "I di'int think you were in'erested?"

"Shut up Euwin," I fought the heat coming to my face. "What weapon did she chose is all I want to know."

"A longbow," he answered whilst returning to the counter. He then pulled out his own weapon.

A warhammer levitated in a golden aura, its head scratched and chipped. The handle was made of iron and the rest of the length was oak. It looked as though it had been used a lot. Euwin lowered the weapon into a sheath near his haunches. The clock outside struck one, reminding us both to prepare for departure.

Walking towards the door, I paused to turn and ask the unicorn a question. "Do you know of an good places to eat around here?"

Euwin raised a hoof to his beard in thought, "what do ya 'ave in mind?"

"A burger joint." I said almost instantly.

"Well, there's Five Stallions and Burger Princess, but that isn't as good"

"I suppose we head back to camp and wait for the others. I want to see their gear then we can go and grab a bite to eat." I held the door for him then followed after.

I prodded the fire with a twig I'd torn off the tree by our camp. The glowing embers seared and brought the sticky sap to a simmer, emitting a calming essence. It popped and cracked, making my eyes dry out the more I stared into the fire. It brought back old memories...

"Fire is beautiful isn't it?" Asked the girl next to me. Her hair was dark brown and cropped short, and her eyes were an icy blue. The kind of blue that gave you goosebumps upon seeing it. She was shorter than me, but could easily kick my ass at any time. Having been brought up as neighbors, we left that unspoken.

"Yea," I responded simply. "But I sometimes like to look towards the stars."

Both of us turned our heads upward to take in the beauty of the universe. We had driven for a few hours to get here, and it was completely worth it. There was no civilization for miles, meaning the glow that cities put off couldn't dampen our night sky. Cars couldn't be heard for miles, only the sound of crickets chirping the song of a summer night and the fire's hum.

"Hey Amber?" I said, not taking my eyes of the sky.

"Yea?"

I turned to face her, pulling a small box from my pocket as I did so. "Will you marry me?"

She whipped her head away from the sky to face me. Her eyes glowed with tears as she said: "Yes..."

My thumb pushed at the silver band on my ring finger. The words inscribed: "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down." Those were the words of Tom Petty, and they meant so much to Amber. I had told her we'd be married in two months, that I'd fight anything that tried to stop us... I told her that we'd be together until death. A promise was made, but fate determined it unkept.

A sole tear rode down my unshaven face, reaching my chin then off into the flame with a sizzle.

Golem had picked up on the path of my thoughts and launched off his perch to rest upon my shoulder. He set his voice to a volume that Euwin wouldn't be able to pick up.

"You are a strong man Tomas. Your pain will only make you wiser."

I nodded in acceptance. "As it always has..."

Despite the atmosphere, Tobias and Dom approached the camp laughing jovially. Tobias to the brink of tears, and Dom clutching his sides as he wheezed. The griffin was clad in plated armor, with a sapphire on the center of the chest. Domnic wore a green hooded robe and at his hips sat a belt which carried two silver daggers. Lightning Dust could be seen as well, lollygagging with big lazy loops in the air. Her massive bow was visible on her back, as well as a quiver full of arrows. As for armor, she wore chainmail much like my own, however being smithed for a pegasus, it was slightly different.

I stood up from my spot as the three came to join us.

"Love the new gear guys," I held my arms wide to gesture to all of them. "Ready for late lunch or early dinner?"

"Sounds good."

"Yep."

"What he said."

"Awesome, can someone direct the party to Five Gu- Stallions?" Smooth.

"It tashtesh jusht like real beef!" I exclaimed with a mouthful of veggie burger. I received some odd looks from both ponies in the party. "Yes I am a predator, but I don't like horse meat so don't worry," saying this did not help my case at all. Thankfully, only those at the table heard me, saving me from an even more awkward situation.

Tobias and Dom simply laughed, both were omnivores like myself. Surely they had made the same ammature mistake at some point.

Euwin leaned back in his chair, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. Suddenly, his stomach let out a rather loud roar. His eyes opened wide and his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks. "I'll be right back fellas," he murmured as he shot off into the direction of the bathroom. This elicited a calamity of laughter from our table.

The restaurant we sat in bustled with ponies, griffons, and diamond dogs. All merrily eating burgers and potato chips, I could even recognize a few familiar faces; like the bulldog biker gang. The white and red tiled floor was littered with peanut shells in a few places and the kitchen held five staff members. While they were all ponies, they worked quickly and efficiently, making veggies burgers and potato chips faster than I could even imagine doing by myself. They were all well coordinated, launching burgers into their respective bags from across the room.

I was truly baffled by the skill of the cartoony ponies, soon reminding me of a certain green bottle. I pulled it from my backpack which hung on the the back of my chair. I opened the lid to my cup and dumped it in, "no more of this cartoon mess."

"Whatcha got there Tom?" Asked Tobias.

"It's a potion that I was supposed to drink last night but didn't. Its intended effect is to return the detail to my vision, I kinda miss it." I shrugged my shoulders, but Tobias gave me a weird look.

"Return? The magical filter is something you have to be born with, you shouldn't know what detail is until you get it removed. Unless you're coming in from somewhere far from Equus. Where are you from Tomas?" This got unwanted attention from everyone at the table. "Crap..."

"Well, I-" I leaned in and lowered my voice to a whisper. "I'm not from here."

"No shit," responded the griffon.

"Listen smartass, I wasn't done." I bopped him on the beak before I began. "I'm from Earth, how I got here is beyond me. I just went for a stroll out in the woods and voila. I'm here."

Lightning Dust seemed unfazed by this, keeping the same expression she had going in to the huddle. Dom's jaw hung wide open again, his meal tumbling out onto his plate... again, and Tobias crossed his arms and put on this 'high and mighty' look. Like he knew all this time. "The fluffy bastard probably did too, he just wanted to confirm."

Euwin returned to the table just as Dom shut his trap, his walk however was more of a waddle. "Never trust burgers," said the unicorn.

"OKAY! Unnecessary information!" I shuffled in my seat uncomfortably. "Does anyone have a plan as to where we want to go first?"

"Trottingham!"

"Fillydelphia!"

"The Frozen North!"

" 'ows about the ruins of the castle of the two pony sisters?"

I scratched my stubble, "That actually sounds kinda cool. Everyone in agreement?"

The entire party (including Golem) nodded.

"Good, we head out tomorrow morning." I took a big swig of my drink. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.

Author's Note

This chapter was a bitch to write, mainly because I just couldn't figure out how I was gonna do it. But eventually I got it so yay.

Euwin is pronounced "You-in"
It'd be really great if I could draw so I could show you him, but alas I can't.

Major credits to DE_K, who helped edit this wreck of a story. Shower him with compliments!

5: Pains of the Past
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The Wanderer

5: Pains of the Past

I was a simple man back home; having an old rusty red pickup and vitamin D deficiency. On occasion, I would overcome this depression and run off into the woods, eager to see something new. I'd shrug off the pain with alcohol or humor, placing a goofy grin over the ever-present frown. I'd stare at the bottom of another bottle every night. Ashamed of myself, I'd stumble to bed. Rinse and repeat, every night.

The house which I had built with my own two hands would turn six today. It would've fully settled in the clay it sat upon, making it ready for selling. I had planned to move from the house, as it held so many memories, but that would be running from my problems and Dad would be disappointed. But Dad has been gone for three years and Mom for two.

I envied their relationship, having the time to have a child then grow old together. I envied their happiness and I envied their luck. They were High School Sweethearts, much like Amber and I; having found love early. They were able to relish in it, have a happy relationship, and die in peace.

Some said that we weren't meant to be, Amber and myself; that fate decided it shouldn't happen. But I digress, fate does not kill blindly. However, I do believe it picks favorites.

And I have always been the red-headed stepchild in terms of luck. Murphy's Law was a bouncer, keeping me out from life's many joys. I'd scratch, hiss, and bite but could never do more than see other people basking in it. I sat outside the club of life with many others, many of them I called my friends.

I found Amber, she helped me up and showed me people. I built a ladder from the trust of others. I was able to see it better, the light it was blinding. It was the kind of light that hit your skin and made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And it did, I felt amazing, but like all good things, It didn't last. The ladder began to fall apart, as people changed a rung disappeared. Soon enough the entire thing was gone and I sat on the cold hard ground once again.

I was alone, with a rusty old pickup and vitamin D deficiency. So I drowned my sorrows in alcohol and covered it up with a mask. Then I arrived here, a place that gave me purpose and responsibility.

I was truly at a loss for words, sitting in my lucid dreamscape. I had become aware I was dreaming some time ago, so I took advantage of that and built an environment in which I could meditate; a little white room full of pillows. It was comfortable, and quiet. So I rolled in it, soon to drift off into slumber... while sleeping.

I had woken before sunrise, so I decided it was best to prepare the necessary survival tools and doohickeys. While doing said chores I took in the beautiful scene around me with my good old high definition bio-cameras.

The fire provided a beautiful amber glow, illuminating my hands so I could gaze upon them.

My hands, unlike every other part of my body, had the single most amount of character in them, each scar and callus had a story to tell. I looked a rather large gash at the end of my left pointer, chuckling while I remembered my mother's reaction as her twelve year-old came running inside with his hand covered in blood. Another scar which I had gotten more recently on my right hand gleamed with ridgeless scar tissue. It sat on the edge of my palm opposite to the thumb. I had told everyone who asked that it was a slip up while peeling potatoes, but the embarrassing truth was that I got it while sliding down a steel slide that was a mite too small for me. Surely my face had turned red over this, as every time it was brought up a truckload of red hot embarrassment was dropped on me.

I picked up the black enchanted backpack and placed it in my lap, despite its contents it weighed next to nothing compared to what it should. Upon taking inventory, I soon found that all my things were in their place. I had everything from climbing gear to a wind up alarm that worked so well that it was questionable as to why I kept it. However, it still boggled my mind how I couldn't get my staff into the bag, and I was rather tired of chalking it up as 'magic'.

I looked at the six foot eight inch wonder, memories of its creation came rushing back...

My dad looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes, "Ya sure yer up for that Tom?"

"Of course I am," I returned and adjusted my accent to that of a man who'd spent twenty odd years in a castle as the king of England. "Was there ever any doubt?"

My father and I shared a laugh, then I returned focus to my chisel...

I smiled, I had good memories of my teen years; a perfect child to my parents and rather level headed man to the rest.

The staff had served about ten years, ten good long years and it held up just fine. Saving my ass in countless numbers of situations, and now, adorned with an enchanted gem, it is capable of launching things great distances.

The oak it was made from had patterns burnt and carved into it. At its top, under the hemp weaving, was a symbol. That symbol had been added about a year ago when I had discovered the show, and still the fact that I was now in it excited me to no end.

Attempting for the second time to force the staff into the bag, I soon found the effort would die in vain as my struggle was hopeless. I, however refuse to give this one up in the name of science and human curiosity (because I am no scientist). I decided to ask the unicorn whom provided me with the magical logic defying bag at some point.

Upon ending that thought, a wooden sentience rose from his snooze and gracefully made his perch on my shoulder.

"You're up early, any reason for that?" asked the bird.

"I had a lucid dream and fell asleep inside it."

"You attempted to sleep while sleeping?" He asked, bewildered.

"Yep," I answered. "And that equates to waking up in the real world. Fancy that."

Celestia began to work her magic; the sun rose from the eastern horizon slowly, triggering a song to play in my head as it did.

"Goddammit nature," I grumbled in my mind. "Why are you so awesome?"

Soon enough the rest of the party woke to see the beautiful star being lifted into place. Aside from a certain pegasus, who grumbled something and rolled over in her bedroll.

"Not a morning per- pony are you? In my group we'll have none of that!" I rubbed my hands together and put on a devilish grin.

Using the pot in my pack, I ran over to the river and filled it with the icy morning water. Now, some may call me fiend for this, but I had the backing of the rest of the groggy group. And soon they would see a very very pissed off pony.

"C'mon Dust! Rise and shine!" I warned before attack, 'twas common courtesy after all.

*Splash*

"AH! Hu-Wha- TOMAS I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Oh god my si- Wait what? OH SHI-" was all I could get out before a very wet pegasus tackled me.

Kicking and screaming, we rolled down the hill towards the water. However neither party knew, one blinded by rage and another regretting past decisions and praying to whatever entity to help him. The group simply watched as Lightning Dust and I crashed or rather splashed into the frigid water. Angry cries turned to laughter and a death grip became a hug, a soggy yet warm hug.

I held Lightning Dust for as long as she held me, as it was ungentlemanly of one to release before the other party. But she didn't let go, instead she held on with a smile on her face. So I decided to carry her out of the river, for I technically was the one who had put her there.

She was light, despite being soaked and warm, with a very rapid heartbeat compared to my own. And something about carrying her up that hill sparked a little flame that had long since been out.

"You can let go now," she said almost reluctantly as we reached the camp. I did as told and let her go. Unfolding her wings, she gracefully glided back to the ground.

"You two are so cu-" began the griffon.

"Oi," I spat, mimicking Euwin's accent. "Shu' up if ya know what's good for you." I made a hand gesture to emphasize my point.

The aquamarine pegasus' cheeks were a deep shade of crimson, matching my own. Euwin chuckled, rolling his bedroll with his magic.

" 'e's right, you two are qui'e adorable. That aside, who's 'ungry?"

The sun was high in the sky by the time be set out, following the little dirt path south by Euwins compass and by my map. Judging by our pace, I estimated that we'd be able to see Ghastly Gorge by nightfall and in the morning head east to the ruins. However, the chances of us getting jumped by some mythical creature escalated dramatically the further we walked.

Just then, there was a rustle in the bushes and a low growl, "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear..."

An entire pack of Timberwolves emerged from the brush, numbers ranging from somewhere between ten and fifteen. They closed in on us, blocking us on all sides to form an oddly shaped circle. Licking their wooden chops, they prepared to lunge.

But much to their dismay, we were prepared.

"Golem! Dust! To the sky!" I shouted and the two did as instructed. But by the time I returned focus to those on land, the battle had already begun.

Dom had both daggers sunk into the back of a beast who was desperately trying to buck him off. Lightning Dust rained long arrows down, skewering their chests and pinning them to the ground. Euwin stood like a soldier, his head dropped low to avoid a swipe then counter with his own. Tobias stood tall with wings unfolded, a greatsword in his claws. And I... got tackled by one of the wolves.

"Gah! Shit!" I cried, holding back the jaws of the monster. Despite the flurry of thoughts induced by adrenaline, one stood out among the rest: "Hold on Tomas, I'm on my way."

Suddenly a familiar wooden bird swooped down, sinking his talons into the face of the dog attacking me. With a pump of his wings, Golem pulled the gems from the Timberwolf's oaken skull. It collapsed into a pile of sticks on top of me.

"Guys! Go for the eyes! If you separate them from the rest of the body, they crumble!"

A crack resounded throughout the woods as Euwin's hammer connected with the head of one of the wolves. "Two down, nine to go."

Golem shot down from the heavens once again, embedding then ripping his claws from the beast's face, "Eight!" He added to the count.

Lightning Dust had heard my instructions and had started aiming for the head. For each arrow that connected, a new pile of firewood was made. "Seven, Six, Five!" She sounded a little bit too happy.

Dom took one of the knives out of his ride's back and carved both gems out with a quick movement, "Four!"

Two wolves lunged at me simultaneously, I ducked causing them both to comically headbut. Both fell to the ground in a daze, so I made quick work of them with my steel-toe boots. "Three and Two!"

Tobias however, had to one up me. "One," he said smugly, lobbing the head off of the last wolf.

"Well done guys, I think we could stop here for the night," I began. Despite being full of adrenaline, I took into consideration that the others might not be as spry.

"Hell no!" Tobias spat, throwing his sword down. "I think I speak for all of us when I say: We aren't done yet." The rest 'uh-huh'ed and grunted in agreement. This was big for me. Others who shared my need for adventure, others who wanted to see everything the small world had to offer. It put me on the brink of tears.

"I guess we should continue then, huh?" With much enthusiasm in my voice

"Woo!" Cried the group.

Wind began to grow cold as the sky darkened. Stars shone over the dusk light, slowly becoming brighter. Crickets had started their masterpiece about an hour ago, and painfully so, they were getting rather annoying. But my group trekked on through the woods on a narrowing path.

In my pack, twenty-two gems glowed as they were jostled around, producing an near melodic clacking. I wondered what I would do with them, as the pony I had pawned off my first set to was now a member of my team. I decided to put off the thought until bedtime, as that was the time in which my mind was most active.

And bedtime did come soon, upon reaching a clearing a campfire was put in place and bedrolls were immediately out. Dom did as he normally did, and ducked his head and body inside the bag with ears only visible. Tobias removed his clunky armor and curled up by the fire, appealing to his cat half. Euwin used the purple cloak which he pulled from his saddlebag and placed it over himself like a blanket, and Lightning Dust placed her bedroll next to my empty one.

Turning my head to face the massive gorge, I gazed upon my arms. My white tunic ended just where my gauntlets began, the (leather?) straps buckled around my forearms. I believed I was well toned considering my profession and the length of practice I had in it, and a deep farmer's tan could be seen, despite the darkness, despite me not being a farmer. I reached into my pack, producing two sets of eyes, still glowing brightly. Thinking back to the meeting with Zecora, I focused heavily on the book the she had enchanted my gems with.

"Latin."

"That's it!" I 'ureka'ed quietly.

Going back to my years in highschool, learning a dead language had finally come to use. I put down three of the gems, and focused on one in my hand.

"Canto ad ignis," I quietly commanded. The gem began to glow red. I gasped for air, having blown my own mind. "Ho-holy shit yes!"
The emerald shined bright with an internal light like fire. Conveniently enough, a strong gust had put out the campfire. I saw the opportunity to test my enchantment.

I rested the gem atop my gauntlet and pointed at the pile; "Ignis, surgit."

Not only did it create fire, it created a fucking pillar of roaring flame for a few brief moments. It blasted a gaping hole in the foliage above, thank the gods it was damp as the wind was quick to cool it.

"Fucking. Awesome." I stated, having stood up to admire my work.

But a sudden wave of fatigue knocked me on my ass and into a deep sleep.

Once again, I found myself in the beautiful lucid dreamscape I had the night before. So, being a lover of music (as it was my favorite way to express bottled up emotions) I summoned the guitar I had back home, and I began to play.

"And after the storm,

I run and run as the rains come

And I look up, I look up,

On my knees and out of luck,

I look up."

A non existent band also started playing along.

"Night has always pushed up day

You must know life to see decay

But I won't rot, I won't rot

Not this mind and not this heart,

I won't rot.

"And I took you by the hand

And we stood tall,

And remembered our own land,

What we lived for.

And there will come a time,

You'll see, with no more tears.

"And love will not break your heart,

but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see

What you find there,

With grace in your heart and

Flowers in your hair."

Hot tears in my eyes, I continued my song.

"And now I cling to what I knew

I saw exactly what was true

But oh no more.

That's why I hold,

That's why I hold with all I have.

That's why I hold."

Angry at nothing in particular, my voice became louder and more intense.

"I will die alone and be left there.

Well I guess I'll just go home,

Oh, God knows where.

Because death is just so full

And man so small.

Well I'm scared of what's

Behind and what's before.

"And there will come a time,

You'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart,

But dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see

What you find there,

With grace in your heart and

Flowers in your hair.

"And there will come a time,

You'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart,

But dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see

What you find there,

With grace in your heart

And flowers in your hair."

"A truly wonderful performance," came a feminine yet regal voice from over my shoulder.

Author's Note

Also, big thanks to my editor/co-writer/friend DE_K. He and I are planning something...
So be prepared.

6: Loud Noises, Learning, and Lousy Lumbering
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The Wanderer

6: Loud Noises, Learning, and Lousy Lumbering

"Huh?" said I, the ever-so amazing and cool gentleman.

"'Twas a good performance, was I not speaking clear?" She questioned the waded her way through the pillows toward me.

"I-ah shit-Pardon my poor manners ma'am," the guitar melted in my lap then vaporized. I was quickly reminded I was still dreaming.

"All is forgiven... Mister?"

"Tomas." We sat in a very uncomfortable pause after this, "Should I play another song or something?"

"Pardon our manners Mr. Tomas," her face reddened. "I was simply lost in thought. A very serious and sad piece you had just played. But you seem too young to have had a significant lo-"

"I have." I cut her off but I didn't care, she was running full speed through a minefield. "Tread lightly miss, that is a very touchy subject."

Luna wasn't too happy about being spoke over, but she didn't retaliate for some strange reason. "I apologize Mr. Tomas, I just assumed-"

"Never ever assume that someone hasn't seen the ugly face of Death," My voice became deeper and more grim, but I decided it was best to not piss off a god and lightened my tone. "Call me Tom," I held out my hand. "And you are?"

"... Luna," surprised by rapid change in mood.

"A pleasure to meet you Miss Luna. Excuse my rude interruptions and unnecessary... harshness." I summoned a cowboy hat and tipped it, thusly melting after serving its purpose.

"Quite the gentlecolt Mr. Tomas," my thumb pushed at the ever-present silver band on my ring finger. "Truly a gift it has been visiting you, but we must be off as you are about to wake."

Before I could protest there was a Boom! and a rumble. The pearl walls began to melt into blackness, along with the large pillows that dotted the floor...

"--y! Wa-- -p!"

"Tom! --g Pro--em!"

"Hold -n, I'v- g-- -- id--."

*SPLASH*

"*Gargle* - Eeuph!" I coughed multiple times before gaining ~~full~~ partial composure. "Wut?"

"Leaving out the huge gaping hole in the leaves above the fire, there are some things that need explaining!" shouted a very unhappy Lightning Dust. "Like the huge fucking boom we woke up to this morning, and why you were able to sleep through it!"

"Huh?" was all I could say.

Euwin walked up to me and squinted. "Magical exhaustion."

"Wut," deadpanned the rest of the group. "Finally somebody shares my confusion!"

"It's magical exhaustion. 'ow he 'as it is beyond me, but we need something to wake 'im up."

I had to add my input, "Muuuuur." I groaned. I had a bag of coffee grounds in my pack somewhere, so I blindly reached for it. "Urrrg, coffee..."

*A few moments later*

"Ahh," I exclaimed after sipping my drink. Good ol' black coffee, no sugar no cream. "So what was that about a boom?"

"About an hour or two after the sun came up," Lightning dust began, "we heard this really loud boom. It shook the ground and the trees swayed a bit."

"I felt a change in the Field," came Euwin from under that Indiana Jones-esque hat.

"The Field?" I asked. "Euwin, you know we're in the middle of the Everfree right?"

" 'Course I know that! Ya nitwit!" He snarled, getting up from his spot and walking up to me. "Magical Field, hence the emphasis!" The old unicorn looked at his compass, then focused on something of in the distance. "Its sumthin' big. Off to the North-East."

I began to wonder if it was wise to go see what it was. Based off my knowledge, things that go bump in the night or rather, boom in the morning, are not good to go investigate. Horror movies don't lie. But it piqued my curiosity, because odd happenings in a land of harmony could be very good or very bad.

"Fuck it," I threw my hands in the air. "I say we go see what it is. Everyone in agreement?"

"Aye," says Euwin.

"Sure," agrees Dust.

"Why not?" asks Tobias.

"Huh?" questions Dom.

"I'm in," cheers Golem.

"Pack your gear folks! We head out at noon." I began doing so when Euwin came up to me.

"I 'ave a feeling you know how you got your fit of drowsiness this mornin'." He prodded me with his hoof. I would have to fess up about my discovery.

"I enchanted a gem."

"My ass!"

I picked the gem off the ground from next where I had passed out and showed it to him. "Don't believe me? Watch this." I pointed towards the pile of smoking charcoals, and placed the gem on my wrist.

"Ignis conmitto," and the fire did start. Euwin's jaw hit the ground.

"I don't..."

"Hey who lit the fi-a?" Asked Dom, whose tail had had also caught heat. He didn't notice however, and it was halfway up his tail before he yelped.

"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" The dog yelled while running around the campsite, stepping on Tobias whom emitted a unique "oof" sound then hopped up to chase him. All the while Euwin tried to turn his magical focus towards the speedy canine. Golem watched from the tree and Lightning Dust was at the returning from bottom of the gorge, where she had done- ... her lady business.

Eventually Euwin locked on target and lifted Dom, letting the angry griffin chasing him run smack into a tree. With his beak embedded into the massive maple, Tobias pushed, pulled, and scratched at the wood. His efforts proved fruitless, the tree however decided to reward him by showering him in bladed seedling that spun like a propellors as they fell. While the tree sprinkled its prop-like offspring on the bird-lion, the unicorn levitating the daft doggie snuffed out the flame which rode up his tail. It went out with a satisfying hiss.

"Ahhh," Dom cooed. He was dropped without warning by Euwin.

"Errmph!" Cried Tobias from the treacherous tree trap. Seeing the lesson learned, I freed my feathered friend.

"Ahhh," Tobias cooed. I threw him to the ground to keep up with the trend.

Lightning Dust returned, donning her full set of armor. A cerulean gem sat in the center of her chestplate, glowing golden. The chainmail which covered everything except her chest, shoulders, and haunches, was cobalt blue. Her helm covered the back of her head and neck, with its edges laced in gold trim. It glinted in the morning sunlight as settled to the ground. "The Archer..."

"What'd I miss?" She asked, mane still wet from her shower. Let's just say I'll have to wipe the drool off my boots.

I snapped my head back to what I was doing, and gathered the gems (aside from the one I had enchanted) and placed them in the shallow pouch. Twenty-one massive emeralds clinked around, with enough luster to make me a millionare back home. However, I hadn't noticed up till now that the gems had not shrunk, and added a significant amount of weight to the load. Thankfully I remebered to ask him this time.

"Hey Euwin?"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't enchanted things interact with this bag like everything else?"

"Because the bag is enchanted."

We sat in silence while I waited for him to explain it.

"Do I 'ave to?" Groaned the senior, whom I responded to with an eager nod. "UUUUHG," he huffed, very closely resembling a teenage girl. Euwin tore a twig off the nearest tree and began to draw in the dirt.

"Now the bag," he pointed to a drawing in the dirt the somewhat resembled a cattywompus sack of potatoes.

Note: Euwin is not a good artist

"It's enchanted with three spells: Decresco, Sublevo, and Expando spacium, the first two tend to be nullified by anythin' that is enchanted higher than a level five; those two 'appen to be level seven enchants."

"... So Expando sapacium is a...?

"Level five."

"... That makes sense, because Zecora said the gem on my staff was a 'High Level Enchantment'. So, that means it must be above a level five."

"What type o' spell is it?" Asked my magic mentor.

"She said it was a Will spell, so... Libido?" I received a nod from the unicorn. Yay! Learning! "What are the limitations on that? I know so far that it accepts 'Push' as a command."

"It 'as more than one enchant then, because it accepts Equish. Trafero ad Equish is probably it," he answered. "As for lim'ations, the size of ya magical reservoir and the level of the spell you're castin'. 'Push' or 'Move' depends on the size of the object, and you can also save mana by saying the magical name of the command."

"So... Latin?"

He looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "What?"

"Eh, nothing. Thanks for the info!" I expertly avoided the backstory. I got up and began walk away, but a telekinetic grasp on my wrist pulled me back to the ground.

"I forgot to add," I mentally 'Phew'd. "When using a Will spell, any commands that are not verbs or are longer than one word will be ignored."

"Thanks again Euwin, I'll put it to good use."

Euwin returned to his activities, packing his belongings and preparing for the walk ahead of us. I had started to do the same but Tobias came over to me, his form blocking out my light. Upon raising my head I found that he was the most heavily armored out of all of us. "The Tank..." His gear was so shiny, it appeared white. The platemail covered him head to toe, and the only organic piece visible was those iconic sky-blue eyes.

"Damn T, there is no way you can fly in all that."

Tobias' gargantuan black speckled wings unfolded, and pumped once. He launched into the air, extinguishing the fire as he did so. This time he blocked my light from a whole new angle, but it didn't last for long. The griffin closed both wings, plummeting into a falcon-like dive and opened them last second, only pumping once to land.

Now I had more drool to clean off my boots.

"I stand corrected," I stated as I blinked a few times to return moisture to my eyeballs. "Now what'd ya have to say?"

"Well I was going to ask your opinion on my gear, but the look on your face says enough." He flicked the visor up just to snicker at me. So I clamped my chestplate and gauntlets on then stood to my full height.

"I say we have a little sparring session to test this armor," I taunted whilst grabbing my staff. He readied his greatsword.

"It's on." His visor fell.

*A few moments later*

We stood in a clearing not far from the used-to-be-camp, the sun still on the morning half of the sky and three spectators and their gear sat on the imaginary sidelines. Golem stood between us, and we stood roughly five feet from him. Tobias and I took our stances. I smiled a competitive smile and I'm sure he did the same under that silver visor of his.

"Are both parties ready?" Golem boomed.

"Yep," I stated. The griffin simply gave a curt nod.

"On One.

"Three,

"Two,

"ONE! GO GO GO!" Golem darted to the side as Tobias charged at me, letting out a war cry as he did so. He closed in on me fast, and I stood racking my mind for the latin word for 'Teleport'.

Soon finding that there wasn't one, I shouted in anger, "FUCK IT! Teleport!"

I soon found that my 'smart move' was not at all that. I was so very dizzy I was on the verge of upchucking. Tobias had spun around, and was this time approaching me slower. But it was still, much too fast for my liking...

"Contor!" I felt my mind grow more tired, but with less of an effect than I had gotten when I teleported. Tobias' approach was slowed to a crawl, so I took it to my advantage and ran up and conked him on the noggin with the butt end of my staff. But what he said as I did this, oh my sides...

"Yoooooouuu sooonuhvaa biiiiiiitch! Iiii'll geet you!" He began at turtle's pace then sped up as the spell wore off.

He swung high and I ducked. Using my legs, I lunged up as fast as I could. I hit him in the unarmored lower-chest with my iron shoulder pad. Tobias emitted an 'oof' sound similar to this morning's and backpedaled a few feet. However he was still in-range and was still showing off a large weak-spot.

Much to my surprise, he flared his wings and lifted his sword for bipedal combat. I mentally accepted and charged him...

And the birdy bastard rolled out of the way, causing my charge to be cut short by- ... a goddamn root. Tobias laughed and walked up to me, rolled me over and bounced his rather heavy weapon off my chest.

"Oof," said I. Mouth partially full of dirt.

"Good fight. You almost had me there, if you had've followed through with that tackle."

I spat the earth out of my mouth, "That was only an attempt to get you to back up," I dusted myself off and stood. "It worked, but I charged you after that taunt. I haven't quite figured out why though."

The rest of the group met us in the center of the clearing, commenting on the fight.

"I saw a lot of mistakes there Tomas," began my ~~drill instructor~~ mentor. "You've got some trainin' to do."

"I was sure you were going to win," came Lightning Dust, whom passed a few bits to Dom when she thought she was no longer being watched.

"I knew yous was gonna lose." Dom quipped, walking by me to fist-bump Tobias. Golem flew in and landed on the griffin's back

"Well I thought it was a very close fight," the griffin said to my defence. "Besides, if he had've lit a fire like he did last night, I'd be runnin' scared." He winked at me, "He's so fuckin' cool."

Noon approached slower than we thought, sparring sessions between the group members becoming rather fun. Tobias and I however sat back and watched it all unfold. Golem and Euwin reffed the fights, making sure there was no lethal means used that couldn't be defended against, and that it could be laughed at by the two judgemental souls watching.

The first inevitable crossing of Dust and Dom happened, and ended swiftly due to Dom's big mouth talking himself into more than he can handle. Lightning Dust had socked him in the jaw while he had his eyes closed in the middle of a egotistical speech. I was sure the lesson there was learned, but of course, the dog challenged her again and again.

"There no way she could beat me twice!" He had said, and she beat him thrice.

The dumbass D-Dog, Dom, had even grown ballsy enough to challenge the eldest of the two reffs. Euwin graciously accepted the challenge, and held the teen in a telekinetic grasp, similar to that of Hulk and Loki in the Avengers movie. After adding a few craters in the path, the unicorn 'forced' Dom to submit, ending the last spar of the day.

"G-g-g-good fight," said Dom, still sitting in a doggie-shaped hole.

"Hmph," Euwin returned. "Keep your eyes on the opponent next time kid."

"Noted," he answered from the hole.

Lightning Dust's gear sat unattended and she was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the camp, the waterfall into Ghastly Gorge, and the clearing, I was growing more and more worried by the moment.

"Guys, have any of you seen Dust?"

"Before the fight I think I saw her head towards the camp," Euwin grunted, lifting Dom out from the crater and placing his robe on him correctly. "Check the clouds, pegasi have a tendency to hide in them."

I power walked back to the camp, soon to see a fluffy little cumulus floating overhead. I cupped my hands and called up.

"Dust, are you up there?"

"What do you want?" The sound of her voice let the simmering anxiety fade and cool into nothingness. I physically sighed in relief.

"Something's wrong Dust, I can hear it in your voice." I put my hands on my hips, despite the fact that she couldn't see. "Can you come down here?"

"Are you alone?"

"Yes." Upon my answer, the pegasus spiralled down from the cloud and headed right for me. I braced myself mentally, but was not quite ready when she slammed into me. It almost knocked me off my feet, and when I brought my attention to the girl who rammed into me I realized the quiet sobs.

"Shh," I stroked her mane. Holding her awkwardly, I stumbled over to the tree, sat down and propped myself up against it. Eventually her crying subsided and she looked up at me with red watery eyes.

"With that sound this morning, its quite a possibility that we'll see my dad at whatever that was."

"Why is it all the sudden a problem?"

"Because he's a guard! I'm worried for him."

"I don't think the guard would be out there that quick."

"I guess, but... I-I just..."

"Dust..."

"His daughter is already a big fucking disappointment, it just couldn't be worse for him!"

I gave her a big hug, "Don't say that. I'm sure that's not how he thinks, and if he does, we'll just have to get Euwin to lecture him on how to be a good dad." I prodded her side, eliciting a giggle. "Just stay strong, his opinion is his opinion and all of us," I gestured toward the others back at the clearing. "We think you're awesome, aside from Dom. He's probably scared of you." Another laugh, and the tears were gone.

"She does not deserve the situation she's been given..."

Author's Note

CHECK OUT DE_K, MY AMAZING EDITOR/FRIEND/CO-WRITER/PROOF READER. HE'S REALLY AWESOME!

I'm probably gonna have to do a chapter every other week, my schedule has become much more cluttered recently.

I hope you guys don't mind.

Soooorrrry!

P.S.
Also, still looking for an artist, I'd really love someone to illustrate the beautiful world I see in my mind!