Dream Gel - Personal Revelations:

Finally, I had made my way out. Maybe I could ask them to have my meals outdoors?

Now things started to realign appropriately. I'm more at home with myself. Everything had started to feel right and real to me, finally.

“I'm going out. Hope you don't mind!” I pointed out, rather than asking.

I never really left them with the time to say a single word, either in confirmation or denial. I simply burst out. Galloping made me feel free.

Once I had realised who I was, the realisation had set me free. I am now liberated from what I had been, all the ill fitting notions and lies. I had never been meant to be the little girl I had been looking like. The body is but a husk of a lie. Why was I ever going along with it? I guess I never knew better, now I do.

I had informed them of my intent and made it into a coutsy. This was to make due, I had no further patience for just staying put. The pony I had turned into had no more of it, than I had had as the little girl I had been seen as.

As the pony I am, I had a need and desire for speed. There is only gallop in mind. I require the motion.

As a pony, I would be content with being referred to as a filly, if and when my name isn't known, or as a generalisation. I can no longer be referred to as a girl, that was part of the human I had been hidden away as. My soul is that of a pony, it is who I am, simple as that.

I had thankfully found a park on the back of the hospital, there even grew small groups of beautiful trees. I could feel the effort they had put into trimming the grasses all around me in my hooves as I move. I knew I am sensitive and tactile already, this is merely an effect of it. I could no longer deny who or what I am.

Once I had gotten out, I soon realised, just how much I enjoy feeling the wind in my mane and tail, if it is a breeze, or merely the effect of moving is all the same to me. What mattered is the way it affected me, how it feels. It all made me feel alive. Now I had to make good use of all the energy contained within the food I had just consumes.

Since I had gone out alone, I felt no need or urge to express anything or utter a single word. I did not need to make any vocalizations. Not right now. With that, I spare my breath.

Feeling the soft grasses under my hooves, the wind in my mane and tail and the sun on my back was all I really needed, right now. I need them right now, I couldn't wait.

I hear the wind in the foliage of the trees and the birds chirping. I wouldn't go as far as to call it singing. It isn't the bird song I would talk of.

The scent of freshly cut grasses and wild flowers, mixed in with the carefully selected vegetation they had so meticulously chosen for the back of the hospital fills me with joy. Maybe they had never intended for a pony to roam the fields behind this hospital, it is after all not a veterinarian. The scents agree with me just the same.

On the other hoof, I am not one of the horses big or small you would ride. I am an Equestrian pony. There are a few important differences, as similar as we may be to an ignorant human.

For now, I feel content with just getting out. Later, I will require the company of others. A pony or several would be great, right about the time I get out again.

During the meal, or the tests they constantly are running on me, I guess I don't mind. On the other hoof, while they are running all these tests, there is at least one human there to oversee the tests currently being run at any given time. While I am eating, there is also someone there to make sure I don't run out of food, while I am still hungry. They constantly monitor and guard me, throughout most of the day.

I hope I will be released from the hospital soon. I am getting bored by the constant tests, even if they do give me more than enough food to enjoy. I also love the park behind the hospital.

Maybe it would have been nice with someone, or some pony, other than the nurses, testers doctors and other staff of the hospital, someone to relate to and enjoy the company of. Even if my parents are here on the visiting hours, there isn't all that much fun in talking to anyone here.

Would I prefer a dog or horse passing by, maybe a few girls, even if they were patients of the hospital.

Maybe I could ask if there are any others to talk to?

As much as I love the place and what they have done for me, I need something more.