The Party

Chapter 2

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Together, you wander down the hall. You pass an open door leading into the biggest room you’ve seen so far. A truly astonishing amount of ponies are dancing to the massive speakers placed in every corner. You’re tempted to enter when you notice a familiar purple unicorn on the far side of the room standing in another doorway like you are. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to notice you, instead scanning the crowds. You thank your lucky stars and continue down the hall, pulling Shock with you.

“Hey, easy up. What’s the rush?” she asks, pulling free of your grip.

“I saw that mare I told you about in there. That’s an encounter I would rather avoid.”

“Oh. Should’ve just said so, dude. I know all about those kind of things. Hell, I saw at least three of my exes in that room alone,” she said with a smirk. “Heh, that reminds me of this one time, I was at a party, and somehow ended up in a room with two of my exes, who had actually just broken up with each other. That might have been the first recorded instance of a hate triangle.”

You snort with laughter. “How did you get out of that one?”

Shock’s green eyes glaze over and she smiles at the memory. “Oh, we managed to sort out our differences. All three of us.”

“Wow. Okay,” you reply with your usual subtlety and grace. Shock glances at your shocked expression and blushes lightly, the first time you’ve seen her display any form of modesty.

“Sorry. I must sound like a total slut. I’m not, really!”

You nod furiously. “Of course. I didn’t say you were.”

Her blush deepens. “It’s just, I try to live in the moment, and more often than not I make bad decisions. Celestia, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

“Because handsome guys are easier to talk to?” you suggest helpfully.

She gives you a stern look. “Don’t start flirting with me, pretty boy. That way lies madness.” You laugh, and a moment later she joins in. She nudges you when you’ve calmed down a bit. “Come on, let’s go check out the DJ. I heard she’s the Vinyl Scratch.”

Starting to sweat, you reply, “Yeah, she is. And I’m pretty sure the Vinyl Scratch will murder me if I see her again.”

Shock glances at you, surprised. “Seriously? Don’t tell me she’s the one you-“

“No! I was watching her work earlier, and she and this other mare kept making googly eyes at each other. Twilight saw me watching and made me realise how funny they were being. Then we cracked up laughing and they noticed,” you explain.

“Smooth manoeuvre. Twilight, eh? The mystery mare is named at last.”

“Shit. Just try and forget it,” you mutter, oblivious to the suddenly thoughtful expression being held by Shock.

“Hang on, Twilight? Was she a unicorn with, like, three different shades of purple in her hair?”

“Yes...” you reply warily.

“And her cutie mark is stars or something?”

You don’t reply, enthralled by the memory of Twilight’s flank.

“I’ll take that as a yes. In that case, my friend, you are well and truly fucked.”

“Unfortunately, no, though that was my intention.”

Shock grabs your shoulders, looking into your eyes. “Dude, Twilight is the favourite student of Princess Celestia. And you,” she pokes your chest, “tried to bang her.”

“What?” you whisper hoarsely.

“You.” Poke. “Tried.” Poke. “To.” Poke. “Fuck.” Poke. “Her.”

It sinks in.

“Oh shit!” you yell, catching the attention of some passing ponies.

“Now he gets it,” Shock mutters.

“What the hell am I going to do?! Besides be executed, that is.”

You trot quickly down the hall, coming to a large staircase leading down to some double doors. Ponies are milling about chatting, but your eyes are trained on the doors. If you can get outside, you can scale a wall and make for the forest. It will be a harsh life of constant fear and hunger, but it’s still preferable to death. Shock catches up to you and sees you eyeing the door.

“Hold up, dude. Look before you leap,” she advises. “It feels weird being the one saying that for once.”

You look around for what Shock is referring to, and it doesn’t take long. Twilight is on the lower floor, somehow managing to get there before you, and is chatting to a bright pink mare not far from the door. Twilight raises a hoof, describing height to her friend... the height of a pony... your height.

“Oh sweet Celestia she’s gathering a death party!” you hiss to Shock. Your body tenses when Twilight turns away but she trots out of sight into another lower level room. The pink pony sidles over to the door and stands there, looking at the ponies coming in and out. You grab Shock by the shoulders.

“She posted a fucking guard!” you say quietly but forcefully, your voice cracking. Shock pulls you away from the top of the stairs, out of the pink pony’s sight.

“Calm down. I’ve run from the cops before. Just stick with me, and we’ll both get out of here.”

“Why would you help me? They’re not after you.”

“We’ve probably been seen together already. If you get taken, they’ll find out about me. No offence, but you don’t seem like the kind of guy who can withstand interrogation.”

You pause.

“...Fair enough. Let’s go.”

Shock walks briskly ahead of you and you quickly catch up.

“Why aren’t we running?” you whisper as you pass a big red stallion.

Shock sticks out her tongue. “Hmm, I dunno. Name something that criminals do.”

“Oh. Right.” You slow down and try to look casual, strolling alongside Shock with exaggerated swagger.

She glances at you and stifles a laugh. “Seriously dude?”

You redden and decide to just walk normally. It’s not long until you both arrive at another staircase, almost an exact copy of the first one. The only difference is that there is no pink mare beside the door and Twilight is nowhere in sight.

“Did we unwittingly travel back in time or something? This looks exactly the same,” you say.

Shock doesn’t reply, looking purposefully down at the crowd. There are a significantly less amount of ponies at this entrance, so she doesn’t take long.

“I know this looks clear, but check out that purple-maned white-furred beauty standing with those stallions near the door. It looks like she’s busy flirting with them and hot damn she is sexy!”

You wave a hoof over Shock’s eyes to distract her. “Equestria to Shock? Kinda got bigger things to worry about.”

“Oh right. Ahem. So anyway, that sex goddess keeps looking over at the door whenever somepony approaches it. I don’t know how Twilight did it, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that all the exits will be like this.”

You slump and sit on the floor. “So I’m trapped then. Game over, Shock. Game over.”

She rolls her eyes and bops you on the nose. “Stand up. It’s not over yet.”

After you heave yourself back to standing position, you look down at the guard mare. She looks back at you with a little smile and says something to the stallions around her while pointing at you.

Shock notices as well and you share a glance.

“Is it okay to run now?” you ask as the stallions approach the stairs.

“Yes. Yes it is.”

Together, you bolt back into the maze of rooms that make up the second floor. Barging through groups of ponies and almost tripping over discarded bottles and cups, you and Shock desperately try to put as much distance between the pursuing colts as possible. Your sense of direction is shot to hell after making so many turns and you have no idea if you’re making any progress. Shock leads you onward, deeper and deeper into the labyrinth that echoes with the tones of music.

Eventually she pulls you into a side room and stops, panting. You’re breathing quite heavily as well, walking over to a couch and falling on it in an exhausted heap.

“Why is it,” you puff, “that whenever I get drunk, I find myself in a room I have never seen before with an insane mare?”

Shock flops down onto the carpet beside the couch. “Dude, I know exactly what you mean. It’s like, what the fuck?”

“What the fuck,” you agree tiredly.

A mare’s voice chimes in.

“What the fuck?!”

Both of your heads snap up to look at the source. The room is small, with two couches and a massive beanbag in the corner. The couch opposite yours is stacked with cartons of beer, but it’s the beanbag that holds your attention. Upon it, entwined in a not-so-kid-friendly embrace, an angry Spitfire and an embarrassed Rainbow Dash are staring at you and Shock.

“Hey kids!” you say with a weak smile, too tired to try and prevent the inevitable beat-down.

“I know your voice!” Dash exclaims as she points at you, “You’re the one who told me...” She stops mid sentence and blushes deeply.

“I’m glad to see you took my advice to heart.” You give her a half-hearted salute.

Spitfire is somewhat less accommodating. “That’s great and everything but if you would kindly fuck off, that would be fantastic.”

Shock drags herself to a standing position. “Room for one more?” she asks with drunken optimism.

You roll off the couch and land on her, forcing her back to the ground. “Easy, tiger. Let’s just leave these ladies in peace,” you say as you climb off her.

With a disappointed sigh, Shock stands up and follows you back out the door. Rainbow Dash calls out just as you close it. “Thank you!”

Continuing down one of the infinite halls, Shock gives you a smile. “Looks like you’re a regular matchmaker. Think you can hook me up with somepony?”

You snort. “I think we’re both too drunk to be hooking up with anypony. Plus I’m going to be executed at some point.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Those two pretties were kinda distracting, don’t you think? I mean, did you see how far Spitfire’s hoof was-“

“Ahem. Yes, I did. Now let’s focus on either getting out of here or finding a place to sleep.”

Through silence you walk together. In your intoxicated stupor the mansion really does seem to be infinite. Every room you pass is new with different ponies in it. You wouldn’t know the first direction to go in if you wanted an exit. Shock seems remarkably less worried than you, prancing merrily beside you and giggling every now and then. Eventually, you realise you’re getting nowhere and pull Shock aside.

“Listen, either this place is a different dimension or I’m too wasted to figure out where to go. Let’s find an empty room and hole up for the night. What do you think?”

“Sure. I’m getting tired of walking anyway.”

You search half the doors in a corridor before happening upon an empty bedroom. Sighing in relief, you lock the door behind you to prevent unwanted visitors in the night. The last thing you want is to wake up covered in vomit. Not again. Never again.

The room is a suite with a little bathroom and only has a double bed, but neither you nor Shock voice any abhorrence to sharing it. That’s the beauty of being drunken buddies. Together, you unceremoniously collapse on top of the covers. The last thing you hear before unconsciousness takes you is her slurred and sleepy threat.

“You try to touch me while I’m asleep and I’ll fucking cut you bitch...”