Last words of a Dying Pony

by ChromeRegios

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Gore, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1063

Suicide Note.

The last words of a pony before she takes her life, or die in her sickness...

Published 2012-03-28 08:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-28 08:24:02 UTC

Last words of a Dying Pony

Author: LightningCrash
Edited by Grace

Death is such a cold place to be... It is lonely, yet soothing at the same time...

Life...?

If you lose it, you’re a loser. If you need it you're an enemy. I don’t understand how ponies try to understand these things. It’s
an ideology that makes other ponies and I insane.

In this life full of bliss, is there a chance that I’ll be happy? If nopony ever cared for me, if nopony seems to understand…

I’m intelligent!

But can knowledge make me happy and cheerful? If I am alone... .

I’ve always dreamed of having friends, but how can I look for some? What if they see me as an enemy? If they see me as
“nopony” worth knowing…

Please help me out of the situation! I wanna be a pony like you!

Like everypony!

But who’s gonna help?

Behind the fact that it's the only thing left just for me. I say sorry for the gratitude that they say to me “I won’t be lonely”. But
everypony will soon notice me.

But I know that deep inside, it still hurts. And it still keeps hurting because of the question that lingers inside me...

“Why?”

Why do they think it just… happens? Why do I think that they’re right, and I’m little miss wrong! Why do I think everypony just
see me, when they need something from me?

And why are they all like that?

Since the first time, I keep on believing that they are ponies who will help me explore the world. That they are an “Angel” in
disguise, that they are nice, that they are easy to deal with...

But all are deceiving masks!

All is something I don’t expect. All turned into a misery I’m in now.

And still... I can’t get out of the situation. And nopony’s there to save me...

Nopony...

Only I can help myself, but, I don’t know where to start...

I don’t know what to do...

Well, I came to a plan of ending the road.

I want to give up the rope and let go.

I started saying, “Thank you” to everyone, and “I’m sorry that I’m a poor loser.”

I wanna die.

And I wished that the torment will end... but what’s the use? I’m already dying anyway...

I wrote something out of the random, I don’t even know why I wrote this...

“Endure the solstice of pain.

Rebirth the future of death.

Conceal the burden of hatred.

Hear its whispering caress.”

What does this mean? What did I just write? Is this death saying, that it’s not my time yet?

What could it be?

(G: The gentle caress of infinite oblivion…)

In a cold and lonely evening, I stared up to the starry sky, wondering if I should continue... If I slowly die from my sickness...
or just end it, just like that.

I was humiliated, shamed in front of ponies... I was bested by somepony who’s better than me. I never wanted an enemy, I
just want to be... noticed.

To be cared for, to be loved by others, to be idolized.

But now, I’m bedridden... sick, and dying...

Why must it be like this?

Why am I to die alone?

I wished I never had a fight with the other ponies, namely one Twilight Sparkle... I know she was just helping, but I was just a
lousy pony. I was too caught up with my stories that I never saw the hoof that was reaching out for me... but I never grabbed
it... I just slapped it away, like it was nothing...

I wished I could turn back time, to just held her hoof and accepted her. No matter how embarrassed I am. No matter how
shamed I was.

I now regret all that I have done to that town, and to those ponies...

Up until now, I was disliked, hated, despised. Only thing is missing that they would throw rocks at me when they see my face
at the window, thank Celestia that never happened...

I still remember those past events; I shunned them when they tried to help me, and the time she asked for my help, but I just
stood there...

Calling myself... “The Great and Powerful” is not fit for myself, not anymore...

Revenge? I forgotten about it...

I pity myself at the current situation I’m in... Weak, helpless... pathetic...

I took a knife at the side of my drawer and examined it; it was sharp, yet blunt at the same time. I could just end it, right here
and now. But my thoughts are racing, thinking how would it end up?

I said to myself... “Do it!”

But something inside of me keeps saying... “Don't do it”

Who would I listen to?

There are so much thoughts running through me all at once, that I can’t even start thinking of anything, I need help... But
how?

I laid there alone in my room, covered myself under my sheets and just went to bed...

That morning, my doctor visited me. He checked up on me to see how I was doing, but the reaction of the doctor when he
finished his check up was expected...

I won’t last long now... The disease had spread through my brain and into my horn... He said it was decaying it from the
inside out...

That’s why my head feels like it’s eating itself...

He asked me if there's anypony who wanted to know about this... I answered him “no”, then he left...

I watched the wind blow gently outside my window, it was terribly lonely and I hated it...

Life is not fair. It gives us hope for living a full life, to have a relationship, to love somepony, to be cared for, to be known...
but all I got was squat! I suppose that was my fault, though… my pride… my arrogance.

I should have told the doctor to call Twilight Sparkle, but I don’t want her to see me like this... not when I’m such in a pathetic
situation... I only wish my mother were here beside me...

So now, I’m sitting here... Thinking if I should end my life, or wait for death to claim me...

Until that time comes... I just want to say to myself...

Rest in peace... Trixie...