Rapid, frenzied knocking echoed throughout Fluttershy’s house, causing her ears to perk up and angle towards the source of the noise. Sighing lightly, she leaped off her bed and trotted down the stairs. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Reaching the door, she opened it and was met with pink. Her vision was completely filled with pink face and blue eyes. Calming her suddenly rapidly beating heart, she smiled. “Hi, Pinkie. What are you doing on this lovely day?”
“Nothing much. How’s it going?” asked Pinkie, pressing her face directly into Fluttershy’s own.
“I’m actually kind of a little bit busy today, but it’s not too bad.” Pinkie silently stared at her, still smiling. “Ummm, if that’s all you wanted to say, I’m sorry, but I need to go.” She started to back away from Pinkie and close the door, but a purple hoof flew out and kept it open.
“It can wait, Fluttershy,” said a recognizable voice, pulling back on Pinkie’s tail; without Pinkie in her face, she could see that the rest of her friends were there as well. Flanked by Applejack and Rainbow Dash on her left and Rarity and Pinkie on her right, Twilight stood on Fluttershy’s doorstep. “You’re a lesbian.”
“What?!” Fluttershy exclaimed in a loud whisper. “I’m not—”
“Ya don’t like colts. In fact, you’ve been avoiding colts and stallions almost completely. An the only ponies who ya do talk ta are soft-spoken mares, such as yourself, or us,” said Applejack. “So we put the two an’ two together an’ came up with, uh, the answer.”
“Actually—”
“And living on the edge of a forest is the perfect coverup for some mare on mare action; nopony can see when a mare walks into your house. Isn’t that right?” Rainbow stepped forward and narrowed her eyes.
Taking a step backward, Fluttershy let out a quiet eep. “N—”
Rarity smiled. “And so, darling, we are here to fully support your decision. We are going to help you break out of your shell. And we are also here to help you make sure that this is the really who you want to be.”
“What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t?” said Rainbow, nodding.
“We are going to explain every last reason as to why you need a stallion in your life.” Winking coyishly, Rarity said, “And believe me, there are many.” She paused and had to coax the words out of her throat. “. . . As well as every reason why a mare is superior companion, of which there are also . . . many.”
“Excu—”
Pinkie nodded, her mane bobbing violently. “Yup! Stallions make much better companions mares! Especially with alone time! Well, unless you’re into mares. Then, I guess, they aren’t!”
“Wait . . . how do you know that?” asked Rainbow.
Pinkie grinned awkwardly and rubbed the back of her head. “Well, things miiiiiiight have gotten, you know, just a tiiiiinsy bit crazy at a party one time.”
“Ew.” Rainbow shook her head.
“Gir—”
“And so!” shouted Twilight, causing the mares to fall silent. “Let’s begin. I hope you don’t mind if we come inside?” Brushing past Fluttershy, she sat down in the middle of the room, the others following her. Opening her saddlebag, she started levitating books out of the bag. “Aren’t you coming, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, seeing that she was still standing by the door with an unsure look on her face. “It’s okay, we’re not here to judge you; we’re just here to help you decide. This is a pretty huge decision, after all.”
“Oh, um, yes?” Closing the door behind her, Fluttershy walked over and joined the circle of seated mares.
“To start off, I brought a few of the more basic books for you to study. We have Long, Thick, and Hard: A Mare’s Guide . . . Longer, Thicker, and Harder: Also a Mare’s Guide . . . Longest, Thickest, and Hardest: The Final Mare’s Guide . . . Sexy Fun Time With Your Stallion: Why Stallions Are Fun in Bed . . . and Getting to Know Your Stallion. Oh, and I almost forgot the most important one: How to Not Be a Lesbian for Beginners. And once you finished those, I've got plenty of books in here on being a lesbian, as well. Just give me a second to find them.” She peered into her bag, lighting up her horn.
“I really don’t thin—”
“Fluttershy, Ah don’t know why you’ve decided to be a lesbian, an’ honestly, Ah don’t care. But we’re goin’ to make sure you’re sure, even if Ah have to sacrifice mah own brother's virginity to do it.” Applejack nodded, a determined expression on her face.
“Yeah! Pretty soon, we’ll have you back to wanting a good, hard di—”
“Please, Pinkie, we’re not here to force her to conform. And you are in the company of a lady,” sniffed Rarity.”Please keep to some of the less vulgar terms.”
Raising her eyebrow, Rainbow smirked knowingly. “Don’t deny you’ve had your fair share.”
“I certainly won’t deny it,” said Rarity. “In fact, I could use a stallion—”
"Ah! Here's one! Lesbian Sex 101 and there's more where that came from."
“Stoooooooooooooooooooooop!” Fluttershy screamed. “I’m not a lesbian!”
The room drifted off into an awkward silence.
“. . . Really?” asked Twilight. “But I brought flowcharts, diagrams, and blueprints. Can’t you at least pretend?”
“No! I’m not a lesbian!” she said, stomping her hoof on the floor.
“Then why don’t ya like colts?” asked Applejack. “That don’t make sense.”
“I didn’t quite know how to say this before, but . . . um . . . my fiance is a little over-protective,” she mumbled slowly, kicking the ground and not making eye contact. “It makes him feel better when I don't really talk to colts, especially after dark. I think it's kind of sweet that he cares that much, don't you?”
“. . . Fiance?” asked Twilight, her mouth falling open.
“. . . F-f-fiance?” stuttered Rarity, blinking rapidly.
“. . . Fi-an-ce,” Applejack said slowly, rolling the word in her mouth.
“. . . Fiance!?” shouted Pinkie.
“. . . Fiance?” asked Rainbow. “Wait, what’s a fiance again?” she whispered to nopony in particular.
“Fiance,” affirmed Fluttershy, looking up. “I’m getting married.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” exclaimed Rarity. “I mean, us sooner! We have so much to do before the wedding! Dresses and planning and flowers and catering and invites and tablecloths—oh the marvelous tablecloths!—and colors and transportation and bridesmaids and—the groom!” Rarity gasped, her eyes almost rolling back in her head. “Who is the groom?!”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing the groom as well,” interjected Twilight. “I’d like to at least meet the pony who one of my best friends is going to be marrying and devoting her entire life to.”
“Do you really want to meet him?” asked Fluttershy. “I didn’t introduce him before because he’s kinda shy, but—”
“Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!” screamed Pinkie.
“Ah’d like to meet this mystery stallion, too,” muttered Applejack, pounding her forehooves together.
Narrowing her eyes, Fluttershy frowned. “I’ll have you know, he’s really sweet and always treats me well, so you’d better give him a chance. And you guys better not hurt his feelings either, or I’m going to have a serious talk with each and every one of you.”
“Yeah, yeah, we got it. Just go and get him already!” said Rainbow.
“Oh, all right, wait here. Last I checked, he was in my bed. Be right back!” she sang, floating up the stairs with a happy smile on her face.
“In her bed? Did I hear that right?” asked Rarity. “How . . .” She lowered her voice to a sultry purr. “. . . scandalous.”
“Ah already don’t trust ‘im,” muttered Applejack. “Why did she never tell us ‘bout him before? She’s obviously been dating him for a while, so why didn’t she come clean?”
“You guys are being too hard on her. I mean, this is Fluttershy! If she says a stallion is treating her well, then he is,” said Rainbow. “I’m pretty sure that the Element of Kindness knows kindness when she sees it.”
“But that’s precisely the problem: this is Fluttershy,” muttered Twilight over the sound of heavy banging from above their heads. “Let’s face it, we all know how much of a—I don’t want to say ‘pushover’ but I will—Fluttershy can be sometimes. What if he’s forcing her into this?”
Rainbow nodded reluctantly.
“Don’t I get a say in this?” asked Pinkie. “I think it’s really awesome that she finally found a stallion. Don’t you? I’ve been trying to hook her up with a stallion ever since she arrived, and it looks like she found her match.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so happy for her,” she said, lower lip quivering.
A reverberating thump echoed through the house.
“Remember, girls, be nice for Fluttershy,” Twilight muttered out of the corner of her mouth.
The thump came again and again and again, eventually stopping at the base of the stairs; Fluttershy peeked her head around the corner. “Are you ready to meet my fiance?” she asked, smiling.
Her friends nodded as one.
Fluttershy came out the rest of the way and proudly presented the stallion whom she was going to marry. “Meet my fiance.”
Her friend's jaws dropped as one.
Fluttershy was standing on her hind legs and holding a something in her forelegs. It was a something that nopony had ever seen before. It was big, it was black, and it was metal. It had two handles: one at the rear and one in the middle. Suspended from the handles was a heavy metal-looking cylinder with a comparatively smaller, rectangular box attached to it; shiny brass objects lay within and entered the side of the main body. And coming from the front were six small hollow tubes, attached with circular plates of steel at regular intervals.
The room was silent for a long, awkward moment
“A-aren’t you going to say hi?” asked Fluttershy, ears wilting.
“Uh . . . hi . . .” squeaked Rainbow, eyes wide, muscles tense, and ears flat against her head.
A high-pitched whine answered her as the tubes rotated rapidly along a set, circular path. Leaping backward, Rainbow hissed, the fur on her back standing straight up. The others didn’t fare much better.
“He says, ‘It’s nice to meet you,’” translated Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy . . . Fluttershy, what is that thing.” Twilight blinked rapidly, but the illusion refused to disappear.
Fluttershy frowned as the object spun and whined again. “Shhhhh,” she cooed. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it—she better not have meant it.” She threw a meaningful look at Twilight as she brought the object up to her face and nuzzled it. “Minny is a who, not an it, and he has sensitive feelings.”
“Ah can’t . . .” Applejack punched herself in the face. Twice.
Rainbow bared her teeth.
Pinkie froze, jaw swinging wide open.
“Well, then . . .” stated Rarity, her left eye twitching. “What lovely—” she coughed discreetly “—blackness he has there.”
“That’s not a stallion,” murmured Twilight, eyes glazing over as they refused to see something that wasn’t possible.
“Why don’t you start with your names and a little about yourself,” hinted Fluttershy, gritting her teeth.
“. . .”
“Go on.” Her eyes narrowed.
“I-I . . . I’m Twilight . . . Princess Twilight Sparkle, to be exact. And I like doing . . . princessy things and reading books. . . . And stuff. Can Minny—I mean, can you read, Minny?”
Minny whined twice.
“He says yes,” supplied Fluttershy.
“How can—I mean, that’s . . . nice. Do you have a favorite author?”
Minny let out a complex series of whines while Fluttershy scrunched up her face in concentration.
“He says, ‘You are. I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you in person! I’ve read all your books on time travel, interdimensional jumping, and the fundamental theorems of higher magic of the third plane. The pleasure is all mine.’”
“Oh, thank you. I was hoping somepony was reading those.” Blushing, Twilight smiled unsurely, her eyes glancing left and right.
“Ooh! Ooh! Me next!” shouted Pinkie. “My name’s Pinkie Pie, but you can just call me Pinkie Pie. I’m really glad to meet you! I love meeting new ponies and friends—” she stared intently and silently at Minny for a long minute “—and . . . things . . . and throwing parties!” She gasped. “That reminds me! We’ll have to have an Official Welcome to Ponyville and Hooray You’re Engaged to a Really Close Friend of Mine so Let’s Get to Know Each Other! party!”
Once again, Minny let out whines of varying pitch.
“He says, ‘I would like that! I don’t get out much, but I’m sure that meeting some new ponies would be really fun,” said Fluttershy.
“Well, I’m Rainbow Dash, and I’m the most awesome, most daring, most hardcore stunt pegasus ever. If you want to watch me or fly . . . with . . . me? . . . We might be able to work something out?” She grinned awkwardly.
Minny let out a single long whine.
“I agree,” said Fluttershy. “But she’s trying her best to be more humble. Before, she wouldn't have even offered to let you watch.”
“Hey!”
Minny let out another whine.
“He says, ‘It’s nice to meet you too.’”
“Ah’m Applejack.” She stared at Minny, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
Fluttershy blinked. “Is that it?” she asked. “Don’t you want to tell Minny a little about yourself?”
“Sorry, Minny, don’t take this personally, but it’s a bit too soon for me. Ah’m still getting over the fact that you’re engaged to Fluttershy. But rest assured, me an’ you are gonna have a nice long talk . . . alone.” Seeing Fluttershy’s face, Applejack hastily continued, “Ah promise that Ah won’t do anythin’ stupid. All Ah’m gonna do is talk to him.”
Minny whined.
“He is looking forward to it,” said Fluttershy.
“And finally, my name is Rarity. I’m the prime fashion center of this town and dressmaker extraordinaire! If you need anything fashion-related, I will be happy to help.” She winked suggestively—though it looked more like her spasming eyelid finally gave up. “Like maybe a suit? Though I must say, darling, you are quite the . . interesting individual. Why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself, hmmm?”
“That’s easy.” Fluttershy grinned. “He’s already told me so much about himself. Minny is a Model 134 Minigun. He is a belt-fed, fully automatic machine gun chambered in 7.62 by 51 mm NATO; a cartridge is a small piece of lead sitting on top of an explosive charge capable of propelling the lead at roughly the velocity of 2,733 feet per second. The spent casings are then ejected from the gun as a new round is placed in the chamber. And then what makes him special is the six barrel design; you see, the multiple electrically powered rotating barrels let him fire faster and longer without overheating, as compared to a single barrel. And let me tell you, when he let’s loose, he lets loose. My little Minny can crank out over five thousand rounds per minute!” Blushing, she smiled and nuzzled him. “I think it’s pretty sexy. Don’t you?”
“Bluh . . .” said Twilight.
“Uh, no?” asked Rainbow.
“I, uh, see. . . . How did you two meet?” asked Rarity, both eyes twitching.
Fluttershy giggled. “It was the sweetest, most romantic thing ever. I was helping a little lost bluebird get back to his family a little while ago when I realized something: while helping him, I didn’t keep track of where I was going; I was lost. I stumbled around looking for something recognizable when I heard a noise. So followed the noises until I found Minny lying in the dirt. He was crying because he had been separated from all of his friends.” She wrapped a comforting foreleg around him. “We’ve no idea how he got here, and were actually going to ask you soon, Twilight, but all he remembers is a big flash and waking up in the forest.”
“I know I’m not romantic, but I also know that that’s not romantic either,” muttered Rainbow.
“I was getting to that. You see, even though he was feeling so sad himself, he put me first and helped me find my way home safely. He even fought off a pack of Timberwolves for me. Twice.” She planted a light kiss on Minny’s closest barrel and grinned. “And he says I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.”
“She’s too far gone,” replied Applejack, whispering. “Anything he does is romantic. Ah’ve seen this before, back in the Great Love War o’ ‘98.” She shook her head, muttering, “Those poor stallions . . .”
Minny whined, barrels spinning, after her lips moved to a safe distance.
“Oh, stop it, you,” she giggled, blushing. “He says that I was completely adorable while firing him for the first time. He also says there’s nowhere in the world he would rather be than in my hooves.”
“Awwwww,” cooed Rarity, more out of habit than anything.
“And let me tell you, the feeling of holding him while he lets loose is . . . it’s just indescribable! The way he vibrates in your hooves, the way he spews lead, his solidness, his thundering power, the smell of gunpowder, I was hooked from day one! I just can’t believe I’ve found such a nice stallion!”
Minny whined again.
“Really?” Fluttershy looked at Minny. “But they’re my friends, I don’t want to ask them to leave.”
“Actually, I think that would be for the best. I seem to have developed a minor eye condition,” mumbled Rarity, eyelids spasming uncontrollably. “But I’m sure it’s nothing a good night’s rest can’t handle.
“I agree; that . . . that’s fine,” said Twilight. “I think we all kinda need time to process everything you just said. You go on ahead, girls; I’ll be out in a second.”
Giving a small grin, Fluttershy looked down and her ears wilted slightly; she gently caressed Minny with her foreleg. “He says it was nice meeting you all.”
Each of the mares stood up on shaky legs and waved to both Minny and Fluttershy; then they slowly walked out the door, expressions ranging somewhat unsettled to downright disturbed to purely confused—not even Pinkie was unphased.
“It was . . . nice meeting you, Minny. I’m sure I’ll be seeing quite a bit more of you in the days to come.” Twilight nodded to Minny and received a whine in return.
“He says, ‘Thanks for taking it so well, and I’m glad to finally have had the chance to meet my Fluttershy’s friends,’” translated Fluttershy, smiling.
Twilight nodded and turned to go. Pausing, she looked over her shoulder at the pair. “Out of curiosity, what exactly were you doing before we got here? You said we interrupted something.”
“Well . . .” Fluttershy turned a deep red. “You know how I said I left him on the bed? We, uh, were on the bed for a reason. . . .”
Paling slightly, Twilight stared at the most innocent pony she knew. The “innocent” pony stared back, blushing even redder. And, unless she was imagining things, Minny changed to an ever so slightly pinker shade of black.
“My mind has been corrupted,” stated Twilight. She left without another word and shut the door behind her. Stopping on the bridge, she glanced over her shoulder at Fluttershy’s cottage. She then proceeded to throw the Long, Thick, and Hard trilogy into the river.
Fluttershy slowly awoke, her forelegs and hindlegs completely wrapped around Minny. She felt the cool smoothness of his body pressed up against her; while at the same time, she felt the inner warmth stemming from his core. She sighed and pulled him into a tighter embrace. She always felt so safe with him by her side—and five thousand rounds per minute had nothing to do with it.
Well.
Almost nothing.
Lightly nuzzling him, she planted a light kiss on his barrel. “Time to wake up, sweetie . . .” she cooed.
She felt a shudder work through Minny, and she carefully gave his barrels some space.
He gave a long, slow whine, gears grinding as they slowly revolved.
“Neither do I, but we have to get up soon.”
He cranked out another whine.
Fluttershy giggled, blushing slightly. “Oh, stop it.”
He whined again, whirling faster as his parts warmed up.
She blushed redder and used her hoof to pull her mane into some semblance of order. “That’s enough out of you,” she said sternly, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
He let out an extremely long whine that any entity could easily identify as a sigh.
“Come on,” she said, grabbing his handles, “time for breakfast.” Letting out a quiet grunt, she lifted him out of the covers and carried him down the stairs. Placing him on the middle of the floor, she gave him a quick pat. Flitting away, she soon returned with a container of oil. Opening his intake, she began slowly pouring the fluid into the small hole. “Is that better?” she asked, accidentally splashing a droplet onto her foreleg.
Minny whined, gears already moving easier.
Leaving the bottle to drain into him, Fluttershy slowly brought the shiny black bead up to her face. Tentatively sticking out her tongue, she lapped it off of her coat. She immediately gagged, throat clenching, stomach heaving.
Minny whined concernedly.
“Fine!” she choked, spitting her saliva onto the floor. She sprinted into the kitchen and held her mouth under the running water. After the taste was no longer prevalent, she turned off the faucet. Quickly devouring a nearby apple, she smiled as the juices helped the wash the oil away. “I just kinda figured that a little drop wouldn’t hurt,” she said, returning to the room.
Minny whined sternly.
“Yes, I know both you and the shopkeeper said not to drink it, but I just had to see what it’s like,” she replied, grinning sheepishly. “Don’t you want to know what apples taste like?”
Pitch raising and falling with incredible speed, Minny whined for thirty minutes straight.
“. . . Oh.” She finished the rest of the apple, chewing thoughtfully. “Well, when you put it that way, that makes perfect sense. I promise I won’t ever do that again.” She returned to Minny and took the bottle out of him. “So . . .” Sitting on the ground, she twirled her hooves, half hiding behind her mane. “How’s your ammo looking?”
He whined.
“Oh, that much?” She smiled. “I was a little worried that you hadn’t replenished yourself since last time.”
He whined again.
“Aren’t I allowed to be worried about my future husband? It must be tiring to reload yourself.”
Minny let out a long whine of varying pitch while Fluttershy nodded.
“You’re right. We should ask Twilight about that later today. But if you’re up to it, do you think we could maybe . . . ?”
Minny replied with a whine.
Fluttershy grinned wickedly—wicked for the kindest pony on the face of Equestria, that is—and grabbed onto Minny’s handles. “Angel?” she called into the house. “I’ll be back soon.” Angel poked his head out of a nearby hole in the wall. He nodded once and saluted, giving Minny the death glare of death to end all other death glares that bring death of a lesser death death glare. She carefully peeked her head out of the door, checking to make sure nopony was watching; then she quickly burst through the door and flew into the forest. Farther and deeper she flew, desire hastening her wings.
She stopped at her secret place. Quickly pushing the leaves off of Twilight’s Noise Cancelling Crystal©, she placed it in the middle of the small clearing. She tapped she baseball-sized crystal three times, causing a blue aura to expand from it. Twilight said that the bubble kept the outside sound out, the inside sound in, and made everything quieter overall. It was perfect for lulling an anxious animal to sleep, but she had found other uses.
Fluttershy grinned and faced the dirt mound in front of her. Setting her sights on the bullet-ridden bullseyes, she braced herself. “Ready?”
Minny’s comprehensible whine soon turned into the sound of him preparing to fire. But before she could let him loose, she felt a foreleg on her shoulder. “What are you doing, Fluttershy?” asked a familiar voice, muffled by the noise dampener.
“Eeep!” cried Fluttershy, almost dropping Minny. She whipped her head around to see Rainbow Dash looking at her with a confused expression on her face. “What are you doing here!?”
“I saw you leave your house from my house,” explained Rainbow, staring at Minny. “And I followed you here.”
“Oh, um, hi,” said Fluttershy, eyes shifting as she smiled.
“So what are you doing out in the middle of nowhere?” She took an appreciative look around, studying the surrounding trees. “And in the Everfree, no less! I thought you didn’t like coming in here.”
Minny whined, and Rainbow raised her eyebrow while looking at Fluttershy.
“He says, ‘Hello,’” she translated, fidgeting with Minny’s handle.
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re here.” Rainbow lifted up her hoof and let the aura play over her coat. “Or what all this is.”
“It’s a little bit private . . .” hinted Fluttershy.
“You can show me! I’m only, like, your oldest friend!” Rainbo grinned. “And besides, it’ll be the perfect opportunity to introduce me better to Minny.”
“Well . . . you really want to watch?”
Rainbow nodded rapidly, then paused. “Unless it’s sex; I do not need to see that.” She shuddered, paling. “I don’t even want to know how that works.”
Fluttershy turned a deep red. “No, it’s n-nothing like that.”
“I mean, where is, you know, it?” She shuddered again. “And how do, you, you know, do it?”
A bug flew past Fluttershy’s cheek and spontaneously burst into flames, screaming in agony as it fell to the ground, sputtered out, and died a horrible death. “I, um, I mean, um, oh my. . . . Well, he, is, uh, oh dear—”
“. . .”
“. . .”
His engine not even having time to fully warm up and whine, Minny turned his barrels approximately three degrees, and the single click was like a thunderclap in the silence.
“. . .”
“. . .”
“. . .”
“. . .”
Shaking her head, Rainbow forced her rising wings to lay flat on her back once again. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know. So . . . that was . . . awkward. . . . Back to my original question: what were you going to do?”
Attempting desperately to calm her blush, but only having marginal success, Flutttershy said, “. . . It’s . . . well, I’ll show you if you really want me to. It’s a bit scary the first time, so it’s okay if you get frightened. Just make sure you stand behind me.”
“You are talking to the bravest pegasus in Equestria,” said Rainbow, jumping into the air and striking a pose. “I’m not scared of anything.”
Minny whined, and Rainbow looked at Fluttershy expectantly.
“He was just, um, pointing out yesterday,” said Fluttershy, grinning sheepishly, finally getting her blush under control.
Rainbow slowly drifted back down to the ground, a frown on her face. “I wasn’t scared.”
Minny whined.
“Oh no, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Fluttershy shook her head.
“What, what did he say?” asked Rainbow.
“I really don’t think I should tell you . . .” mumbled Fluttershy, not meeting Rainbow’s eyes.
“Was he talking to me?” asked Rainbow, taking a step closer.
“Oh, well, um . . . yes,” she sighed, her head falling.
“Then you have to tell me!” Flaring her wings, Rainbow stomped her hoof on the ground.
“He, um, said that you probably couldn’t handle it anyways.” She quickly finished, “But I’m sure that you’d be fine.” Fluttershy grinned and flattened her ears against her head.
Frowning, Rainbow’s face contorted into one that Fluttershy knew all too well. “Can’t handle it?”
“I knew this was a bad idea. . . .”
“I want to do it.”
“Oh, dear . . .” Fluttershy mumbled. “I mean, you can, but only if you’re really sure about this.”
“I have to—I never back out of a dare!”
“Do you even know what you’re doing?” asked Fluttershy, slowly taking a few steps toward Rainbow. “You don’t even know what he said!”
“Of course I know! . . . But you should tell me so I know that you know.” Rainbow grinned, her eyes flicking left and right.
“Ok-aaay, first off all, you have to make sure to hold onto Minny tightly and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nopony said anything about touching your super cre—” Fluttershy stared at Rainbow, frowning “—not at all creepy fiance!”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine too.” Fluttershy smiled and placed one of her forelegs on Rainbow’s shoulder. “We won’t judge you.”
Minny whined.
“No, we won’t tell anypony else that she backed out of a dare, either. That would be mean. Well, unless they ask, of course,” Fluttershy answered, looking down at Minny. “We don’t want to lie.”
Rainbow paled. “Give me him.” Quickly standing up on her hind legs, she wrenched Minny out of Fluttershy’s hooves and pointed him at the mound of dirt. Minny felt cold, yet somehow warm. He was heavier than she expected, too: he was almost as heavy as a pony, but far more awkward. “N-now what?” she asked, feeling the side of his body dig into his leg as she wobbled on her rear hooves and flapped her wings for balance.
“This part is very important. Point at the bullseyes and don’t let go,” said Fluttershy, taking a step backward.
“What do you mean ‘don’t let’—” Minny started spinning. The humming vibrations shot up Rainbow’s forelegs and shook her the core. He spun faster and faster, filling her head with a continuous whine. The sound bounced around inside her mind, blocking out all other thoughts. “What’s happening? Fluttershy? I'm not sure if this—”
Everything exploded.
The ground swam under her hooves as fire shot from Minny’s rotating barrels, sending pieces of hot lead careening into the dirt. The demonic cries of tormented air shrieked in Rainbow’s mind as the sound barrier was broken five thousand times a minute. Somepony screamed, but Rainbow couldn’t tell who it was. Everything was wrong—alien. Terrifying.
She had to get out of there.
“No, Rainbow! No!” yelled Fluttershy, watching in horror as her friend tried to escape the love of her life. Except, in her haze of terror, Rainbow forgot to let go of Minny as she took to the skies, screaming uncontrollably. Once the pair left the noise cancellation aura, the sound erupted outward, sending shockwaves across the land. Worse, bullets began flying in every direction as Rainbow began darting around, erratically evading absolutely nothing.
Bullets impacting the ground around her, Fluttershy dove behind a nearby rock and hid, closing her eyes and pressing her back up against the cool stone. Panting, she took a deep breath and peeked over the edge of the boulder.
Bullets stopped flying as Minny finally managed to reorient himself and realize that he was firing at nothing. But that didn’t stop Rainbow from screaming. She finally unclenched her hooves from the handles and let Minny plummet to the ground.
“Noooooooo!” screamed Fluttershy, leaping forward. Minny fell in slow motion, tumbling end over end as the ground rushed up to meet him. Fluttershy’s jump carried her a measly three inches forward, leaving her an additional seven feet to cover after she hit the ground. Using her hind legs to skid along her belly, she watched in morbid fascination as he hit the ground, just a foot out of her reach. She quickly jumped to her hooves and ran forward. Wrapping her forelegs around Minny’s form, she whispered, “Are you all right?”
Minny was silent.
Fluttershy felt a pain in her chest. “Please, say something . . .” she whimpered, hugging him close. “Anything.”
Minny said nothing.
A single tear dripped out of her eye and fell onto the ground. She was dimly aware that Rainbow had stopped screaming and, instead, was standing quietly in front of her, eyes downcast, body shaking. “S-sorry, ‘Shy. I don’t know what happened. I just—”
“Get help.”
“What?” asked Rainbow, looking up at Fluttershy.
“Go get help! Now!” she screamed, tears rapidly pouring down her face and matting her coat.
Rainbow quickly nodded and leaped into the air, heading for Ponyville. She was going to get the most qualified pony she knew—by any means necessary. She was going to fix this.
“Hey, what are you doing in my house!
“No! Stop! Get away from me!
“That’s my frying pan!
“Wait, what are you doing with that?
“Oh, no.
“. . .
“. . . Ouch, my head . . .
“. . .
“Oohhh, where am I . . .?
“Wait . . . am I in a sack?
“Well this sucks.”
Author's Note
I made a slight edit to chapter one. The only complain that was consistent--the only complaint at all, actually--about my story was the first scene, so I guess it was actually something I needed to fix.
