"So... Hellraisers?" Bone Crusher asked suddenly.

"Um... Yeah? What about it?" I replied, looking over at her. It seemed odd for her to bring it up now, considering that I christened us that name about two hours ago. I guess it was just something to talk about while we led the slavers and Stable ponies back to the Skyport. Our prisoners were behaving for the most part, and between Crusher and her E.F.S., and Aryanna flying around ahead as a scout, we were able to avoid or be ready for trouble.

"Oh nothing, just you didn't fucking ask for our opinions before slapping some shitty name on us!" She screamed at me. I'd wondered why there wasn't much cursing from her earlier in the trip, seems she was saving it for me.

"Hey Firebug!" I shouted, turning my head so I could see the pyromaniac. She was bringing up the rear of the group, sitting on a slavers head and using her as a seat/lookout post, much to her disdain. "Do you have a problem with the name I gave the group?"

"Nope!" The energetic little filly replied, shaking her head. That's one in my favor.

I turned around fully, looking up to the sky to look at Aryanna, who was currently floating over the group. "What about you?"

"Who, me? Hmm..." The griffin rubbed her chin in thought before shrugging. "I suppose it's cool and/or badass enough to work. Not what I would've chose, but eh."

"And there you have it." I said, turning back to Crusher with a smug smile.

"You're an asshole, you know that?" She said, and I could almost see the glare she was giving me through her helmet. I just kept up my smug smile.

"Isn't that why you like me?" I asked.

"Ooh, Crusher has a crush! Crusher has a crush!" Firebug sang, hopping up and down on the slaver mares head, her pleas of "Get her off me!" and "Make her stop, please!" mixing in with the fillys teasing. Aryanna just chuckled from above us.

"Shut the fuck up, both of you!" The power armored mare shouted before focusing her attention back on me. Now she was staring me down, effectively bringing the group to a halt. "And you! I don't like you, I TOLERATE you. Learn the damn difference."

"Riiiight." I said with a roll of my eyes. I wasn't putting much stock in the whole crush thing -what were we, schoolfoals?- but I couldn't pass up having some fun at the ex Rangers expense. "I'm sure you "tolerated" me in bed, too."

I could feel the glare coming from inside the armor this time. "Fuck you, Gun."

"Repeatedly."

"Fuck you, Gun!"

"You curse a lot when you're enjoying it. Well, more than normal."

Crusher closed the short distance between us, pressing her helmet covered head against mine. "I'M WARNING YOU, GUNSLINGER." She said, cranking up the volume of her mic so it echoed around the whole area. "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M GOING TO HIT YOU. GROUP LEADER OR NOT, YOU'RE BEING A DICK AND I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU KEEP IT UP."

Silence. Everyone was waiting to see what I'd do. Now normally I'd be smart enough to shut up and end the conversation there, but I was feeling cocky after our victory against the slavers and the acquisition of the Stable ponies. Plus antagonizing the killer mare was just fun at times! So instead of being smart, I just put on the biggest shit eating grin I could muster. "I never called myself the group leader, you know. But it's nice to know you're prepared to follow my orders like a good little Ranger."

That one struck a chord! A power armored hoof raised up, most likely to punch me straight in the face.

"What's all this, then? A little lovers spat?" A strangely accented voice said from somewhere ahead of us.

That just made Crusher even more mad! She stomped the hoof she raised back down hard and turned to give whoever interrupted her violence -and called us lovers- a piece of her mind. "Why don't you fuck... Right... Off...?" The way she trailed off worried me. "That's a lot of red dots." And that worried me even more. Our interrupter just chuckled. I really should see who they are now that my nose wasn't in immediate danger of being broken...

Standing a little ways away on the sidewalk was an absolutely MASSIVE earth pony mare. She was easily as tall as an Alicorn, with legs thicker than two of mine put together! Although they looked normal when put together with the rest of her strong looking body. It was all definitely needed to weild the big super sledge on her side. Surprisingly, a lance was attached to her other side, pointing right at us like it was eager to spear straight through our bodies. What worried me the most though was that the black and silver mares armor reminded me of a raiders, although it looked pretty clean, which was definitely odd. In fact, she looked kinda odd in general. I took a closer look at her from the silver mane and tail, to the same silver hair that thickly covered her fetlocks and interrupted her jet black coat, to the way her face was shaped. She was definitely like nopony I had seen before.

"Ye know," she started, grinning at us. "It's called EYES FORWARD Sparkle for a reason."

"I'm sorry, I can't understand your thick accent." Bone Crusher replied. The raiders accent WAS pretty heavy, but I could still understand her.

The mare looked confused, her grin fading. "I said that-"

"E-quest-ri-an. Do. You. Speak. It?" Crusher said slowly. I had the distinct feeling that she was trying to antagonize the mare in front of us. We both must've come to the same conclusion, because her look of confusion turned right into a scowl.

"So you got jokes, do ye? Wanna hear one of mine, ya bloody tin can?" With a sharp whistle, all of the raiders revealed themselves. They were all in front of us, with most brandishing guns, but a few had spiked bats and other melee weapons. "It has a killer punchline!" She said with a laugh. The first thing I noticed was the powerful looking rifle one of the further back mares had. It'd probably be enough to punch through Crushers armor. The second thing I noticed was that their weapons and armor were in surprisingly good condition for raiders. Maybe they were bandits? The crazy look in some of their eyes made me doubtful of that. The last thing I noticed was that all of them, pony and zebra alike, were mares. The third observation was odd, but not very helpful. The first two observations led me to one conclusion:

We were screwed.

There were at least two dozen of them, and they were already dug in behind cover while we were out in the open. While I didn't mind using the prisoners (sans Stable ponies) as living shields, me, Crusher, Firebug, and the few freed slaves we'd been able to get to help keep the prisoners in line would still get shot up eventually. Even 9 millimeter bullets get lucky and kill somepony sometimes. We did have an aerial advantage with Aryanna. That could be enough to give us a fighting chance, or just delay our deaths for a few minutes.

Right, it was time for plan B: Try and talk us out of getting slaughtered.

"I'm sorry miss, but I didn't catch your name." I said, trying to take the raider leaders attention away from shooting the ex Ranger. She focused on me, raising an eyebrow.

"Names Sledge. What's it to ye?"

"Oh nothing, just wanted to know your name. It's a very nice name. Fitting." Compliments were always good, right? They always helped make things to better.

"Uhhuh..." Or it could make the recipient confused like how Sledge was looking.

"Well, Sledge, you seem like a nice, reasonable mare, and-"

Sledge held up a hoof to silence me, chuckling. "Look, lad, I ain't a piece of toast." She stopped chuckling and her eyes locked with mine, looking dead serious. "So stop buttering me up and get to the fucking point before I lose me patience."

I sighed and gestured to our prisoners. "Alright, you see these ponies we have all chained and collared?" The raider nodded. "They're assholes, specifically of the slaver variety. Now what I'm offering is all of them except the Stable ponies, we need them to complete our job."

The tall mare raised an eyebrow. "And we can do whatever we want with em'?"

I nodded. "In exchange for letting the rest of us go, they're yours to keep."

She stared me down for a while, and I did my best to keep any looks of worry off my face. Finally, she started chuckling, and then outright laughing. "Ye've got balls, I'll give ye that. Most ponies would've started offering useless shit or something they don't have. I take that back, most would've started begging for their lives before we killed em anyway!" The raider leader laughed again before continuing. "I'll take the offer, just because I find ye entertaining."

Crusher, who'd thankfully been silent since all the raiders popped out, decided now was the time to open her big mouth. "Oh I'll show you entertaining, you-"

"Thank you for accepting the offer instead of KILLING US." I did my best to emphasize that we were screwed if it came to a fight with them. She didn't seem to get the message, so I conked her upside her armored head when she tried to start speaking again. "Can it, will ya? I don't know about you, but the rest of us want to live." The ex Ranger growled, but stayed silent. She was probably gonna kick my ass later, but at least there'd be a later now.

I reached into my saddlebags with my magic and dug out both the hoofcuff key and the detonator for the bomb collar, gently placing the latter on the ground. I let my mind wander briefly while I seperated the Stable ponies from the rest of the chain gang. Hoofcuffs always seemed to be one size fits all, and the keys always looked the same from what I've seen. Magic, maybe? Lazy crafting? Who knew? Once the Stable ponies were seperated, I undid all their bomb collars with my magic and floated them onto the back of the nearest slaver. "I'm gonna leave these bozos here along with the detonator to their bomb collars and the keys to their cuffs." I said to Sledge, starting to step towards her. "If you don't mind, we'll be passing through now. Places to go, and all that stuff."

She nodded, and the rest of the raider mares lowered their weapons, though they still tracked us with their eyes as we moved. "Of course, of course. Pleasure doing business with ye." As I walked past the raider leader, her bright emerald eyes looked directly into mine again. "But ye best watch yerself, boyo. We ain't seen the last of eachother, not by a long shot."

I stopped and returned her look while the rest kept going. I didn't blame them for not waiting around a lot of potential shooters for me. A smirk came to my lips as I thought of what to say. "Looking forward to it. I'd love to meet such a pretty group of mares when they weren't trying to kill me."

Sledge let out a sharp laugh again, grinning madly. "HA! So ye noticed that, huh? Well who knows what'll happen when we see eachother again? Ye might get lucky..." Her grin began to look more maniacal. All her features seemed to be changing from "normal pony" and start shifting towards "crazed raider."

"Or ye luck just might run out."

_________________________________________________________________________________

We got quite a few odd looks coming back into the Skyport. I wasn't sure if it was because of my companions, or because our prisoners were five ponies from the Stable below. I think it was most likely a combination of both. Luckily, after our encounter with Sledge and her gang, we had no other trouble and made great time getting back. Another stroke of good luck was that while the residents of the Skyport were curious, they weren't coming to bother us, which allowed the entire group to get down to the Stable. Of course, the residents of 37 were more open about their concern seeing their fellow Stable dwellers being led around in chains.

"What the hell? Hey!" One of the Stable security guards who watched the entryway to 37 for trouble approached us, his rifle aimed directly at me. "Why are they chained up?"

"I'll only answer that in the presence of the Overmare or her bodyguard." I responded. I didn't know who I could trust in the Stable right now besides Tinker and Tiny.

The earth pony snorted, narrowing his eyes at me. "Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna let a bunch of armed ponies who're dragging around people from my home in chains near the Overmare. I think it's best if you let them go and left before anything happens."

Ok, new strategy. "Hey now, it's me! Gunslinger, the sexy stallion that's been coming down here almost every day for almost four and a half years! I wouldn't be here with your friends like this if there wasn't a reason."

"Alright then, what's the reason?" He asked.

"I... Can't tell you. Sorry." I replied with a sheepish smile.

"Then I don't care if you're Celestia herself, release them and maybe I'll consider letting you through." Seems he was dead set on getting them free. I couldn't let them just go, who knows what evidence they'll go and destroy before I could get to Tinker? And now the other guard was speaking into his Pipbuck, most likely calling for back up. Oh this wasn't going good...

I quickly turned around to address the others of my group, only to find that all the freed slaves had bailed. Seems they didn't want anything to do with potentially having to shoot Stable ponies just doing their job. "Come on guys, help me out here." I pleaded with my companions.

"I think everything you're saying is a lie." One of the chained up stallions said.

"I said help me, not help yourself." I replied flatly.

"Don't ask me, I'm just supposed to be following orders like a good little Ranger." Bone Crusher said. I could feel the sarcasm behind the words. Not her too...

"Are you really gonna do this right now?" I asked. She wasn't really doing this when we were potentially about to be shot, was she?

"I'm really doing this right now." She replied, the answer making me grit my teeth. Now was not the time to be petty! I was about to tell her such when a different voice spoke up.

"Gun, what's going on?" Tiny asked, trotting up to the scene from the elevator that led to the stairs. Seems she was out helping the scavangers again. This was my ticket to get to Tinker! I wheeled on her as fast as I could, staring up at the large zebra.

"Tiny, you gotta get us through to Tinker. It's extremely important she hears what we have to say." I pleaded.

"And what exactly do you have to say to her? And why are those Stable residents chained up?" She was studying me closely, but I didn't let my gaze falter.

"It has to be explained between us, you, and Tinker only. I just don't trust anyone else in 37, right now." I explained for what had to be the third time since getting here. I really hoped Tinker would understand it all in one shot.

Tiny stared me down for a few more seconds before nodding. "Alright, I'll let you all see Tinker. But I'm warning you, Gun..."

"It's not a trick, I swear!" I said, quickly and with more fear in my voice than I probably should've had to be believable. Cut me some slack, that zebra is terrifying!

"What?!" The first guard who stopped us, who was quickly becoming a pain, exclaimed, staring at us in shock. "You're just gonna let them go through?!" Apparently he was dumbfounded that she'd allow the four heavily armed mercs to go see the Overmare while dragging some of the ponies she was supposed to protect around in chains. I was still pretty surprised about it myself, but tried not to show it.

"I am. I'll watch over them and make sure they don't cause any trouble. Unless you doubt my ability to handle a few enemies in a fight?" The way she said it just dared him to say yes.

"N-no, ma'am." The guard responded. Smart stallion.

"Good. Now move." She ordered. I chuckled at how the stallion scrambled to get out of her way. Tinys presence alone was intimidating, nevermind when she actually wanted to be intimidating. The zebra took one look at the rest of the guards that had come as backup in case things went south. The wall of armed ponies quickly made a hole for her before she could even open her mouth. Satisfied at them clearing a way for us, Tiny started leading all of us to Tinker, frequently looking back at us.

Not that she had to worry, we weren't going anywhere. I wanted to talk to Tinker, Crusher wanted to get paid, our prisoners were thoroughly chained up, and Aryanna and Firebug seemed to be in awe at the Stable, heads on swivels as they took in as many things as they could while we passed by. I debated just letting them go off, but decided against it. This job was something all of us did, we all might as well see it through to the end.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"So let me see if I've got this straight." Tinker said, looking over all of us. After making our way through the Atrium and up to the Overmares office, Tiny went in and briefly explained the situation to her friend before letting us inside to explain it in more detail. The task fell upon me, and I quickly -and hopefully clearly- laid out everything that happened. Tinker had just listened until now, seemingly waiting for me to finish. "I sent you two-" She pointed at me and Bone Crusher "to find them." Her hoof moved to be pointed at the still chained up Stable 37 ponies.

"Yep." I responded simply.

"And along the way, you met these two-" The pink hoof moved to point to Aryanna and Firebug, both of them waving at their fellow teen. "Who decided to join up with you."

"Yes."

"And the last location of their Pipbuck tags that I gave you led you to a slaver encampment."

"Yes."

"Which after seeing one of the Stable ponies working with the slavers, decided to assault and take them back here by force."

"Mmhmm."

"And after doing that and freeing the slaves, you took the ponies from 37 and the remaining slavers back with you. But you traded them to a raider named Sledge in exchange for safe passage."

"Right."

"And finally, after all that, you came here to tell me all this."

"That's about the gist of it."

"I see..." The pink mare turned her focus to the Stable ponies I'd brought back with me. "And what's your version of events?"

"He's crazy!" The mare at the head of the group shouted, gesturing to me. "They all are! He's got some crazy plan to take over the Stable, get you put out and then he waltzes in just happening to have all the answers. Gunslinger is gonna try and usurp you, I swear! That's why we're chained up like this, because he needs to throw you off his trail. So he caught us and came up with that bogus story."

"How did he get your Pipbucks off?" Tinker quickly asked.

"The Ranger. She knows all about technology, including our Pipbucks and how to remove them." The mare responded without missing a beat.

"And the-"

"The griffin and filly was extra muscle to help keep us in line." She quickly said, sheepishly adding in a "Sorry..." after realizing that she cut off Tinker.

"It's ok." Tinker replied with a dismissive wave of her hoof before spinning around in her chair so she faced away from us. "Tiny?" The huge zebra nodded and moved closer to her friend, leaning her head down so they could quietly talk to eachother. Now was where I started to worry. At the end of the day, Tinker was a mare that liked facts, and unfortunately for me, the story the Stable ponies came up with sounded more real and factual than mine, despite it being a load of garbage. These ponies also knew and had more contact with their Overmare for longer than I had. They had a better grasp on her mindset and how to exploit it. Lie or not, if she agreed with them...

After a few minutes of talking with Tiny, Tinker turned back around towards us, staring us all down from behind goggle covered eyes. "I've come to a decision." She said evenly. Moment of truth... Her head turned to face the Stable ponies specifically. "You five are under arrest."

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding in. She had believed me! I couldn't stop a grin from forming at the news. We were in the clear!

"And you."

Fuck.

Tinker was looking at me and my group now, and I felt the grin leave as quickly as it came. I really, really hoped it was something good, but just from her tone of voice (that was the same she used to address the Stable ponies) I could tell it wasn't.

"Your pay for this job will be held until further notice."

"What?!" Crusher exclaimed from beside me. It seems the prospect of not being paid finally spurred her to join the conversation. "Where the hell do you get off denying us payment?"

"I'm the one who gave the job, remember?" The small mare replied, a bit of an edge creeping into her voice.

"Yeah, and we did your fucking job!" The Ex Ranger stepped closer to the desk, and Tiny took a step forward as well, ready to take her down should it come to that. If Crusher noticed the zebra move, she didn't care. "There they are, right fucking there, AND we got their Pipbucks back! Job. Done."

"I'm still not paying you." Tinker replied, continuing before any more objections could be raised. "I'm not paying you because the whole situation is too suspicious now. Both of your scenarios sound plausible, but also raise questions. I'm responsible for almost a thousand ponies, not to mention the music they produce, the instruments that are probably the last of their kind, and the Stable itself. One of the groups in here poses a potential threat to all of that if the other groups story is true. I will not let that potential threat walk freely OR take caps from the Stable it wants to attack. Until this is over, you're not getting paid." Even from behind her goggles and not even looking at me, I could feel the glare she was giving Crusher. "End. Of. Story."

Blue and red lenses stared eachother down, and I was worried they might start fighting. Thankfully, the power armored mare backed down before either of them did something stupid or me or Tiny stepped in. "Fuck this, I'll be outside." She stomped past me and out the door back into the hallway. Even with the most vocal opponent of this decision gone, the tension in the room was barely alleviated.

"So..." I started awkwardly. "What now?"

"For now, you four are clear to go." Tinker responded, but I held my sigh of relief this time. "But you better watch yourself, Gun." And as if on cue, there's the worrisome part. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this, and when I do, heads will roll." I chanced a glance up at Tiny, and the look she gave me said just what kind of "head rolling" she had in mind. Hopefully the massive zebra was still on our side, but if the evidence said otherwise...

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Wow, this is a nice place." Aryanna commented as she entered the break room that served as my home. We had all booked it as soon as Tinker let us go, not wanting to stick around and look like we were trying to impede her investigation. With none of my companions really knowing the Skyport, and all of us wanting to rest for a bit, I suggested going to my place. If they were going to be working with me, they might as well get a feel for the place. A shower schedule -one that had me going first- would definitely have to be worked out later.

"Eh, it's a roof over my head." I replied with a shrug, hanging all my gear on the coat rack next to the door.

"Ooh, is that a refrigerator?" Firebug asked, poking the white rectangle of metal set into the wall. Before I could answer, she opened the door, squealing happily as she pulled out a Sparkle Cola "It is!"

"It's not THAT uncommon to see a refrigarator." I said dismissively.

"Dude, you have a working refrigarator, what I'm going to assume is a working stove and microwave-"

"Don't forget the fully working bathroom with hot water." Crusher added, stepping out of my room sans power armor.

"What? No way." The griffin got up and stepped past her mentor into my room. A minute later, she returned with the most awestruck expression I'd ever seen. "A working toilet and shower..."

"It's honestly not THAT uncommon." I replied. Or was it? There did seem to be quite a few ponies around with bad hygiene and a bit of a smell. Maybe I should start charging for hot showers... Double the normal price for one with me, of course.

"Do you know," Aryanna started, staring straight at me. "How many times I had to cop a squat in a ditch on the way to Fillydelphia and on the way to here? Every. Single. Time. I only took three baths since I left home: One on the way to Filly, one when I got there and joined Red Eye, and one in the rainwater down here. A working toilet and shower are gifts from the gods to me, dude!"

"Well, I guess when you put it that way..." I guess it was impressive to someone like Aryanna. Then, something else she said registered in my mind. "Wait, does everyone not take baths regularly or is it just those that don't have access to clean water?"

"The Rangers had a two day rule when I was with them." Crusher spoke from her new position of lounging on the couch where Aryanna was. "There were exemptions for those out on long missions and stuff, but it was mostly enforced. When I got kicked out of them, I... Started waiting a little longer than two days. And them a little longer than that. And then a little longer than that..." She chuckled, rubbing her hooves together nervously.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!" I couldn't hide a shudder of disgust. I was no clean freak, but come on, once a week at least! I really hoped she had bathed before we fucked and that how she tasted was her natural, clean taste and that that sudden itching in my crotch was just in my head and oh goddesses...

"Fuck off." The killer mare spat, her nervousness replaced with anger. "I'm not going to bathe myself in contaminated water just so I can die clean with radiation poisoning."

That was a good point.. Before I could say as much, Firebug said something that made my skin crawl.

"I haven't bathed in months!" She exclaimed proudly. All of us looked at her, and then moved away from the pyromaniac. "What?"

"Why?" I asked in utter bafflement.

"Because it takes time away from important things. Like fire, and burning things!" The filly answered with a big grin.

Since she was closest to Firebug, Crusher leaned over and took a tentative sniff of her. Almost immediately, she pulled her head back like she'd been shot, covering her nose and coughing. "Oh my- I ca-carved up dead- bodies and never sme- lled anything this ba- a- ad!" She grabbed at her throat, holding it like she was choking, before going limp, one of her back legs twitching.

"Okay, now you're just over exaggerating." Aryanna said with a roll of her eyes, getting a "fuck you" from the now suddenly fine Bone Crusher. She leaned over close to Firebug, taking a whiff of her. Almost immediately, she recoiled and fell flat on her ass like she'd been punched. "Oh dude, that is GNARLY! And not the good kind of gnarly, either!"

While I didn't know what "gnarly" meant, both their reactions led me to one conclusion. "Firebug, you need to take a bath."

"But I don't wannaaaaaaaa!" The filly replied, pouting. It was almost cute enough to make me drop the bath subject. Almost.

"I don't care, you're going to take one." I said in what I hoped was a stern enough tone.

"Uh-Uh!" She gave a few violent shakes of her head, dead set on not coming into contact with water.

Okay, I was not about to have this argument. I floated over one of my revolvers from where I'd hung the holsters, pointing it directly at Firebug. "My home, my rules. Go take a bath right now, young lady!"

"No!" She shouted, turning her head up with a hmmph.

"Yes!" I shouted back, pulling back on the hammer. Maybe that'd be enough to make her go?

"Never!"

Nope, still not willing to go take a bath. As a last resort, I pressed the gun up against her head. Firebug looked at me, seeming completely unphased about having a loaded revolver pressed against her skull. "Bath. Go. Now." I said with as much authority as I could put in my voice, glaring at her with what I hoped was a no nonsense look. After a moment of thought, I added a "Please." in hopes that'd help.

"Well... Ok!" She finally relented, much to my releif. "But only because you said please!" Without any further protest, Firebug turned and trotted into my room, hopefully heading for the shower.

"Well she sure seems fearless!" Crusher commented, breaking the awkward silence that settled over the three of us after the filly left. "Maybe a little insane..."

"That was... mildly badass. Would've been more if it wasn't over taking a bath. Kinda lame subject." Aryanna added as she finally picked herself up off the floor.

"I was worried I was gonna have to shoot her in the leg or something for a second there." I lowered my revolver, looking over at Aryanna. "Could you go in there and help her? Make sure she actually cleans herself, please?"

"Hell no, man. Not unless you have a hazmat suit lying around, if then." She protested.

The revolver went back up, pointed at her this time.

"Alright, alright!" The griffin held up her arms, backing into my room. "Don't have to be such a hardass..." She muttered before closing the door behind her.

Once she was out of the room, Crusher turned to me, her lips curled into a naughty little smirk and her eyes half lidded with desire. "Now that the kids are out of the room, let's have a little talk."

I grinned, watching the sway of her shapely hips as she sauntered the few steps between us until our faces were inches from each other. "What about?"

As soon as I said that, the smirk turned into a frown and her eyes looked way more angry than horny. ""Good little Ranger?"" Before I could even realize that this conversation or anything that followed was not going to be pleasant, I was already on my back, Bone Crusher attempting to live up to her name as she strangled me. "There's nothing good about me."

"Your... Ass..." I managed to choke out, giving her a cheeky grin. Well, a cheeky grin or something akin to a fish gasping for breath, either or.

She didn't seem to find it funny, as the pressure against my neck increased. "I'm serious, Gun. You want me in this group, I want to be respected."

"Sor... Ry..." Was all I managed to get out through my now very narrow windpipe. Darkness was beginning to close in from the edges of my vision, and I was starting to become seriously worried about my survival.

Crusher continued to strangle me, glaring down at me as my world continued to grow darker. I managed to hit her a few times with my hooves while struggling to get free, but she shrugged off the weak blows easily. She just kept the pressure on my throat, kept glaring at me. I swear her red eyes were glowing, but that was probably just the lack of oxygen to my brain playing tricks on me.

Just when the darkness was going to take over my entire vision and I thought I would have to shoot her to make her stop, Crusher let out a sigh and her glare softened, the strong earth pony lifting her hooves off my neck. "You're lucky you have a nice ass." She muttered. At least that's what I think she said, I was too busy gasping for breath and taking in large gulps of sweet, sweet oxygen to really be sure.

"What the fuck was that?!" I shouted, shoving her away from me and getting to my hooves. I put some more distance between us just to be safe.

"Me being blunt about my concerns." Crusher replied nonchalantly.

"Being blunt? BEING BLUNT?!" I nearly threw something at her, but I didn't like the odds of me winning hoof to hoof if she decided to fight over it. "Strangling someone is not "being blunt", it's attempted murder!"

The ex Ranger just gave me a shrug. "It got the point across, didn't it?"

"Got the- I- You-" I was at a loss for words. Actually, I could think of one thing to say. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"A lot." She replied simply. "Look, the point is you know to give me some more respect now."

Know to give her respect? Know to shoot her before she gets close enough to choke me again is more like it! "Nope. Uh-uh. We're not doing that "I can kick your ass so respect me" bullshit. We're not a bunch of raiders." My head was starting to get a little dizzy from the back and forth motions of me shaking it no, but I REALLY wanted to get the point across. "I was a bit out of line with the good little ranger thing, and I apologize, but if you want respect you EARN it. You don't beat it out of people, you crazy bitch."

Crusher laughed like I'd just told the funniest joke ever. "HahahahaHA! I'm sorry mom, I'll be nicer the next time I shoot somepony in the face. That'll get them to respect me for sure!" She said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "What's next, you're gonna tell me everypony should do better or some shit like that, right?" She laughed again before fixing me with a cold glare, eyes narrowed to angry little slits. "This is the fucking wasteland. You're either tough or you're dead; there's no time to worry about feelings and shit."

I sighed, my hoof hitting my face. "I'm not askin you to become a pacifist, I just think you should tone it down a little before you get yourself hurt or hurt someone you care about."

We stared each other down for a while, long enough for a much cleaner Firebug and Aryanna to return from their shower. "Whatever you say, Gun. I work how I work and it hasn't backfired on me yet, so kindly take your thoughts and fuck yourself up the ass with them." She trotted off into my room without another word.

"Uh... What was that all about?" Aryanna asked before the silence became too awkward.

"Just a little conversation on respect."
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The rest of the night went surprisingly smooth. I was able to take a bath and kick Bone Crusher out of bed with relative ease -I was not sharing a bed with her after the strangling thing- and get a good nights sleep. I even got a nice surprise when we all headed out for brekfast in the morning: Several huge wagons painted in bright colors and hearts were out on the runway, their sides folded out and covered like tents to provide even more room for the guys and gals that worked in them. Many smaller carts and wagons painted in the same style were dotted around the larger wagons. "Hey, The Madame is back in town!"

"Who?" All three of them asked at the same time.

I could only grin in response. "I'll show you, come on."

We made our way down towards the runway, Aryanna beating all of us down by flying out a window. Luckily, she waited for us, or was just a little awestruck. I couldn't blame her, it was kind of awe inspiring. The Madame didn't normally have this much of her caravan in one location, but even normally it felt like she had a small settlement with her. It really felt that way now, ponies and zebras and griffins and others of all shapes, sizes, and colors rushing and setting up tents and storefronts to sell to all the incoming customers.

And coming they were! Dozens of Stable 37 jumpsuits were out here already, and many more were bound to be out and shopping soon. Many residents of the Skyport and the surrounding area were perusing wares as well. I swear I saw a few of the mares who had ambushed us with Sledge yesterday, and the easy to tease Dagger and her group looking around at various stalls. I gave them all a wide berth, not wanting any trouble and already having a destination in mind. "Stick with me, now."

"Just where the fuck are you leading us?" Crusher asked, clearly annoyed she wasn't able to go off shopping and had to follow me around.

"You'll see~" I sang, trotting between two of the large wagons that everything seemed to be centered around. There were more hastily erected tents and stands on this side as well, but what interested me was the stretch limo sitting in the middle of a few tents, painted just as brightly as the rest of the caravan. I made my way straight there, about to knock on the door when a voice interrupted me.

"Hey! You can't- Oh hey!" The voice above me was male, going from serious and tough to light and friendly as soon as I was recognized. "Gunslinger, you old bastard! Was wondering when you'd show up."

"I'm the younger of us the last time I checked, Duststorm." I said with mock annoyance, looking up at the griffin with a smile. He was light brown, speckled with dark brown. It was interesting, something that matched his personality.

"Still makes you an old bastard." He replied, grinning. "Who're your lady friends?"

So that's why he still had that old riot shotgun of his out and ready to be fired. "They're my new..." I paused, trying to find the right words for what they were besides -possibly- being friends. "Business associates. Finally breaking into the real mercenary business."

"Finally tired of working for young mare Tinker, huh? Bout time you came to play with the big boys." His eyes looked behind me, and I had a good guess they ended up on by the gleam in them. "Good choice of company, too."

Before I could shoot off my cocky reply, Aryanna spoke up. "Question. How cool are you?"

The question caught the normally cool -pun intended- griffin completely off guard. "What?"

"What's the coolest thing you ever did?" She rephrased.

"Um..." Dust tapped the shotgun in thought. He'd been around the wasteland a few times, had a few adventures, but nothing that was "cool" unless he'd been holding out on me. "Oh! I took out three glowing ferals all by myself."

"Eh." Aryanna replied.

"With my bare talons."

"Meh."

"While injured. And irradiated."

I turned to face the younger griffin, deciding to help the old guy out. "I can confirm that. The Madame told me about it, and she's not prone to lying and exaggerating."

"Hmmm..." She narrowed her eyes, studying Duststorm like she was looking for any hint of deception. She finally relaxed after a bit more obsefving, giving a shrug. "I guess we could bang sometime. Maybe. You'd definitely be the least cool person I'd slept with."

"Uh... I..." Duststorm just continued to stutter. Was he really caught off guard by such directness? Strange, considering where he worked. Giving up on forming a reply to his fellow griffin, he turned his attention back to me. "Good choice of company indeed, heh..."

I was about to reply when I was cut off for the second time in a few minutes. "I thought I heard the sound of Dust slacking off more than usual." The voice belonged to Sandstorm, Duststorms twin sister and the other personal guard of The Madame. Since Dust was the other bodyguard and they were both here, that meant...

I turned around and sure enough, she was right there behind Firebug. Her deep brown and cream coat and jet black mane looked better than most of her kind, a bonus of taking care of yourself when most of them dont care about their appearance. She was tall as well, about even with Bone Crusher, something that helped make her all the more beautiful and terrifying depending on her mood. The most striking things about her though, were her eyes. Bright, yellow orbs that glowed with mirth, playfulness, and most importantly, intelligence. The other striking thing was her teeth, the shiny white orbs visible as she grinned at me. "Hello, Gunslinger. My, it has been a while." She said in her normal seductive tone, only a trace of the graveliness ghouls normally had present.

Her voice made the others turn around to face her, Aryanna nearly jumping out of her skin as she scrambled back against the limo. "What the flying fuck?!"

Firebug took it better, giving the newcomer a simple "Hello!"

Crusher remained the most calm, just asking "And you are?"

The mule took it in stride, her grin not faltering in the slightest. "Allow me to introduce myself." She gave a low bow, like a performer would when introducing an act. "I am The Madame." Her bow turned into a grand flourish as she stood back up, gesturing to everything around her. "And welcome to Madame Mules traveling brothel and caravan!"

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The best way to describe the inside of Madame Mules limo was pink. Pink carpet, pink upholstery, pink lights, pink sheets on the bed, even the mattress itself was pink! It wasn't a garish shade of pink per say, but there was just so goddess damned much of it that it hurt your eyes anyway.

"It's very... Colorful." Crusher commented, looking around the inside of the limo. The Madame had invited us all inside to chat and have breakfast with her and the Storm twins. I'm sure all my new friends were still trying to adjust to the wall of pink assaulting them from all directions.

"Isn't it?" The Madame replied from beside me with a smile. She was sitting between me and Duststorm at the rear of the limo. Bone Crusher and Firebug sat further ahead on the right side, and Aryanna and Sandstorm were further ahead on the left, the latter of which still had her rifle ready to be brought up at a moments notice. "It used to belong to one of the ministry mares. I found it about... Forty? Forty five years ago? I don't think they'll mind me borrowing it." She chuckled.

"So you've been at this for a while, then?" Crusher asked, getting a nod from the mule.

"Been at this for about one hundred and seventy years. The first thirty years of my unlife were... A lot about coming to terms and finding myself."

"Sounds cheesy." Aryanna commented. She must've seen my aghast expression, because she gave a shrug in my direction afterwards. "What? It does."

I was about to yell at her about how insulting someone who has an armed guard sitting right next to her was a bad idea, but Madame simply laughed and held up a hoof. "Yes, it does sound rather cheesy, now that I think about it more. Still, it was a rather important part of my life. Fighting to stay who I was, letting to of the past, setting out into this new, destroyed world on my own..." She tapped her chin in thought. "Was actually quite the action filled adventure, actually."

That got Aryanna's attention. "Really?"

"I'll have to tell you about it someday-" The ghoul paused in her speaking, scrunching her muzzle in thought. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch any of your names."

I knew I forgot something... Aryanna stood, striking some sort of dramatic pose and putting on her best smile. "I'm Aryanna, Hellraiser mercenary and all around cool, awesome griffin badass!" Crusher cleared her throat, making the griffin blush and sheepishly add "In training..." while sitting down.

Firebug hopped up on the couch like seat she and Crusher were sitting on, easily having enough room to stand even with her gear on. "Hello, I'm Firebug! I burn things! You wanna see?"

The Madame held up her hooves, quickly waving them dismissively and shaking her head. "No, no, no, no, that's quite alright! I'll take your word for it."

"Alright..." The fire obsessed filly sat back down, clearly a little disappointed at being unable to show off her talents at burning things.

All eyes in the room turned to the Ex Ranger. "What?" We continued to stare expectantly. "Oh fine... I'm Bone Crusher, and I fuck shit up for a living. Happy?"

"Very." The Madame said with a nod. "I must say, you're a rather pretty mare. Are you part Saddle Arabian?"

"I- Uh..." It was amusing to see the normally foul mouthed and always snappy Crusher at a loss for words. "Thanks?" She finally managed to get out. "And I'm not sure. Things like family heritages get a little lost when the world gets fried. All I know is that there luckily hasn't been any inbreeding in my family tree, thank fucking Celestia."

"Inbreeding?" The Madame and I asked at the same time.

"There's not a lot of choice in a closed off bunker when you want to have children. Everypony becomes each others cousin real quick." She explained, glaring at nothing in particular. I guessed that the Rangers are still a sore topic for her even after all these... Months? Weeks? Years? I really don't know how long it's been since her "discharge" from the Steel Dickheads.

Now that I thought about it, I didn't know much about any of my new companions. Aryanna and Crusher had said a bit, but left me with more questions than answers when I thought back to those brief conversations, and I knew squat about Firebug besides "I like to burn things." I wasn't some paranoid loon who had no friends and thought everyone was out to get him, but I was a little cautious at least. I'd have to find out more about them soon. While they were trustworthy so far, the "talk" me and Bone Crusher had was still clear in my mind.

"I see..." The Madame replied, seeming lost in thought. Probably pondering if the rest of the Rangers she used to belong to were drooling idiots with birth defects. At least that's one of the things I was wondering. "Anyway," she continued, "You really are a pretty looking mare, dear. In fact, with your height and a little makeup, color the coat and mane differently..." The ghoul mule was looking over Crusher critically now, as if trying to piece something together. "Hmm..."

A knock at the limos door drew our attention to it instead of the still thinking Madame. Since I was sitting right next to it, I went ahead and opened it with my magic. Outside was an earth pony stallion, one of the brothel workers if his lack of protective clothing and weaponry and handsome everything were any indication. "I've brought the food that the Madame has requested." He stated simply. Behind him was an entire food cart filed up with -what else?- food and drink.

Well that was quick. Then again, Madame Mule ran a pretty tight ship. I poked the still deep in thought ghoul in her side, not getting her attention, but a grunt of acknowledgement. "Food is here." I got another grunt in reply, the Madame reaching around Duststorm to press a hard to see pink button. A table rose from the floor a few seconds later.

"Cool hidden table. That's some spy level shit right there." Aryanna said, examining the wooden -surprise, surprise- pink table.

Crusher was examining the table too. Unlike the coolness loving griffin, she saw the obvious problems with a table this large coming from the floor so suddenly. "There's no fucking way this table was under the limo or some shit, it's too tall!" She poked her head under the table, coming back up a second later looking even more confused. "And the legs aren't jointed to bend or anything! How the fuck-"

Surprisingly, it was the normally quiet Sandstorm who answered. "This was the transportation for a pony able to perfectly decorate a room for a party with a cannon and who was said to break the laws of reality on a daily basis. The table is really one of the least surprising things coming from her."

"B-but how?! Why?! What the fuck?!" She looked like she was at a complete loss of comprehension, at least from the glimpses I caught while I was floating all the food and drink over to the table. I felt her pain. I still remember the massive headache I gave myself trying to figure out that crazy pink pony the first time I heard about her.

Those of us that have had experience with the head of the Ministry of Morale gave her the best answer anyone seems to have come up with before or after the war: "Pinkie Pie."

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Fleur-De-Lis!" The exclamation from The Madame startled all of us. She'd been lost in thought long enough for all of us to nearly finish eating the generous meal that'd been provided to us. I was worried she might've went and turned feral, but luckily it seemed that the ghoul mule just went normal crazy instead of eat us crazy.

Naturally, the answer most of us gave was a simultaneous "What?"

"Fleur-De-Lis!" She repeated, pointing a hoof at Bone Crusher. "She's the spitting image of Fleur-De-Lis!"

All eyes in the room (sans Firebug, who still had her face buried in her plate and was eating like a pig) turned to look at the killer mare. Now that I was looking at her closer than I have before... "Holy shit, you're right. Her colors are different and she's not a unicorn obviously, but I see it now." Even though she was sitting on the other side of Firebug, I made a show of looking at her flanks. "Her ass is definitely larger, too."

"Fuck you, Gun." Crusher was glaring at me, but had a smirk on her face. "I've seen pictures of Fleur before, but I never compared me to her, just didn't see it. I can kind of see it now that I think about it. I've definitely got sharper teeth, though." She grinned to punctuate the point, showing off her razor sharp teeth. I REALLY hoped to never end up on the receiving end of those. "Not to mention I'm a better fighter and killer, I'm not a stuck up noble with my head up my ass, and I'm pretty sure I've got a bigger dick than her."

Firebug finally removed her face from her plate, looking over at The Madame and I with the remains of her meal dripping off her face. "Who's Fleur-De-Lis?"

Aryanna, who had already been looking at Crusher, stared at the Ex Ranger with wide eyes. "Wait, you have a dick?"

Before an answer could be given to either question, there was a knock at the door. Knocking which was followed by more knocking, and even more knocking. Whoever was out there was beating on the door like their life depended on it. I flung the door open with my magic, finding Tinker standing on the other side. "I need your help, Gunslinger."

This is normally the point where I make a smart reply and we go back and forth a bit until we get to the actual job, but I felt this time was different. She sounded serious. Beyond serious. The most serious I've ever heard her, and that's a feat, considering she always sounds serious. And even with her goggles on, I could see the trails of recent tears in her coat below them. Something was definitely wrong here, and I said as such. "What's wrong, Tinker?"

She said one sentence that made my mane stand on end. "Tiny has been kidnapped."

Dead silence.

"Seriously, do you really have a dick?"

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Author's Note

Yay, next chapter! Had this one ready for a while, but wanted to get a bit into the next chapter before uploading this one, save some time between waiting for chapters. Also decided to get rid of the level system thing because I'm not really creative enough to come up with things for it and also because I think the story will work better without it.

As always, thanks to KKat for creating this universe, and thanks to the numerous friends who kicked my ass into gear repeatedly so I could finish this chapter!