The Search for Light: Finding New Hope.

Chapter 8: Finally Awake.

(Just moments earlier.)

“Stella. . Stella. I love you. I really do. Always remember that Stella. I will always love you.”  I hear her voice, it’s distant and calm. A warm, motherly tone, but it  brings no warmth to me. I’m cold. I’ve been cold for a long time. Only the remnants of that distant voice remain, and the feeling of her soft touch on my mane. How long has it been since I first heard that voice, and felt that touch? I don’t know. I don’t care to remember either. She left me here. Left me in the cold. “I don’t want to leave you here, alone. . .”Then why did you? “But, I have to. If I don't then. . “  Then what? Then I’ll know what it’s like to live beyond the darkness. Then I’ll know what it’s like to live a life? Well, to bad for me, apparently. I was left here. Not even able to move. “Stella? Stella, dear, it’s time to wake up.” Huh? That voice. . I’ve never heard it before. It sounds so near as well.

“Open your eyes Stella” The voice tells me. I am hesitant to try, at first. When was the last time I had my eyes open? I can’t remember. But, after only seconds of contemplation, I open them slowly. I wish I hadn’t. For there, right in front of me, is a dark being, towering above me. “W-w-what are you?” I whimper out, trying to find my voice. When was the last time I spoke? It laughs slowly, kneeling down, coming face to face with me. “Oh, dear Stella, it’s me. . “ The dark being gives, what I assume, is a big smile. “Neros. Your father.” I stare at it. “My father? You can’t be. My father was. . . Normal. Kind, but strong. Gentle, but tough for what he believed in.”

It nods slowly. “You’re right. I’m not the same father you once knew. I’m just a remnant of something much more now. I don’t have much time to speak though, dear Stella. I need you to run, now. Run to the spring. You will find another pony there. Make sure that he returns to the doors safely.” I glare at the being. “What? A spring, another pony, gates? What is all this about.” He gives a frown “I wish I had time to explain. Just know that it is very important. Darkness might consume him if he gives up. . .” It pauses for a moment, the darkness starting to flicker and fade. “And, he will be able to bring you to your mother.”

It points of in a direction, then fades away after that, leaving a purple crystal that falls and shatters. I get on my hoof shakily. But soon, I am galloping off towards the direction he pointed. That wasn’t my father. My father didn’t feel as. . Evil as that thing did. My father had darkness, but nothing to that extent. Soon, I come upon a spring. And, laying in the center, wrapped with darkness, is a silver pegasus. “Just fight it, silver boy!” I call over to him as I run out over the spring. I slide and clutch him tightly. “Come on. You have to make it through!” I need my answers. I can feel the darkness that is wrapped around him. It’s strong. And it’s very similar to my. . . Fathers darkness. At least, the darkness I felt earlier. I know his pain. He can’t see, he can only barely hear. And he can’t move. I’ve been stuck for a long time too.

I sniff slightly, as I start to remember my time in that prison. The prison she put me in. Centuries. I remember now. Nearly countless centuries. I sob harder as I pull him closer to me. “Wh-Who?” I hear him whimper out. “Shh, shh. Don’t speak. Just fight it. Just fight the darkness. . . Like I had too.” I mumble out, as I run my hoof through his hair, brushing away some of the darkness. I feel my hoof brush across something cold along the back of his neck. A necklace? I look down, and pear at a red gem, with a bit of cold in the center. Though, slowly the gold is consumed entirely by the red.

Soon, we are lifted into the air. Light spreads from the necklace, taking over both are forms. Once the blinding light dissipates, I look around. The doors!? How. . It must be the necklace. I smile and look down at him. I hear voices from outside the doors. I run my hood through his mane again “It's ok. You’ll be safe now.” The darkness from him spreads over my hoof. I can feel it’s overwhelming power. I shake my hoof vigorously, but it only spreads faster. Soon, my senses are dulled, my vision blurs, my hearing fades. I feel the coldness again. I struggle against it. Not again, I won’t let this happen again.

I feel energy gather around me. I focus on it. I try to direct it, to shatter the darkness. But, it’s too strong. I feel the darkness move farther back along me.  And then. . Nothing? It’s gone. The darkness left me. I open my eyes, and peer back. No darkness attached to me at all. Though, something feels off. My eyes start to feel heavy. My energy, it’s drained entirely. . . I-I didn’t use that much though, did I? I see the doors open slowly, almost menacingly. The tiredness in my body overcomes me, though, and I pass out.

I blot up quickly. I wince as I feel pain fill my head, and I shut my eyes tightly. . That. . That was strange. Where am I? I start to get up slowly, out of the bed. I wince more with each movement. “Hold on, dear. Don’t move. You’re still weak.” My eyes bolt open, as I glance towards the source of the voice. “Who are you!” I shout out, and place a hoof to my throat, everything filling with pain again. I lay back down in the bed. “I’m Nurse Media. Do you know where you are at?” her voice is calm, and I can sense no threat in her. “Of course I do.” I speak out slowly, and quietly. “I’m. . “ I glance around. “I don’t know actually.” I close my eyes again, and search through my memories. Nothing though. “I don’t actually know. . . Er, remember anything. All that I can is. . ”

I open my eyes, to see the nurse giving me a soft look. “Go on, sweetie. I’m listening. Just don’t strain yourself.” I nod slowly “A voice. A mares voice. She’s saying my name. Stella Dusk. That’s my name. I think. . . But I can’t move, or see. And, I can only barely hear. Darkness, it’s all around me.” I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I continue on. “Then another voice. A stallion this time. He also says my name. . Then. . Then.” I shut my eyes tightly as I try to remember. “M-more darkness. All around me. And, another pony is with me. A silver one. . I think.” The nurse places her hoof on my back. I flinch slightly at her touch, but welcome it all the same. “It’s ok, dear. There is no darkness here. You’re safe. And, as far as I can tell, you are in perfect condition. . . “ She pauses for a moment. “Well, you are a little weaker than the average. . . “ She trails of, mumbling a bit. “But, we can talk more about that later.”

I nod slowly, and lay back into the bed. “Um. . N-nurse Media?” She nods slowly. “Where am I? Why am I hear?” She gives a small frown. “Well, you are at an infirmary, inside a training camp. As for how you got here, or why you are here. Well, thats a mystery to us all.” She quickly brightens up to a smile “Don’t worry though. I’m sure you will remember soon.” I nod again, once more. “Thanks.” I mumble out. I hear a shifting to my other side. I glance over, and see the silver pony. The same one, I'm sure, from the remnants of my memories. I point to him, and look at the nurse. “Yes. You were found with him.”

Light from the outside floods into the area. I wince, but soon, the light is covered by the shadow of a pony. I can feel a massive amount of darkness. I can almost even see it emanating from the pony. I slide under the covers, only barely peeking over them. “Don’t worry. That’s Princess Luna.” The nurse whispers to me, as the princess approaches. “Hello there, little pony. How are you feeling?” She speaks calmly to me. The nurse walks over, and takes her aside. “Amnesia?” I hear the princess ask. She walks back over to me, a grim smile on her face. “So sorry to hear that. If you like, I could try to bring your memories back. Would that be ok?” I think it over, then nod.

I would do anything to remember. I feel like I am in the dark without my memories. And I don’t like that feeling. “Though. I warn you. You may not like what you will remember.” I nod again.  I don’t care. I would rather have at least some type of memory, then be left in this darkness. Luna’s horn lights up in a silver glow. She lowers her head, and touches her horn to me. “Just relax now.” She says in this soft, but commanding tone. Soon, a warmth fills me, as I begin to recall my past.

“I will always love you.”  No. . It can’t be. “I dont want to leave you here alone.” No. Stop it!  “But, I have to. . . “ It hurts. The coldness. I can’t move anymore. Make. It. “Stop!” I reach my hoof out, and push the princess away. I pant slowly as I open my eyes. Looking at the shocked faces of everypony. “Stella. Whats wrong? What's the problem?” Media asks as she walks over to me quickly. She reaches a hoof out, but I hit it away. “Don’t touch me. . I’m fine. . . There’s. . There’s no problem at all.” I let out an angry sigh. “Unless you ask the Princess. Then there’s a huge problem.”

Luna, shaking her self out slowly. “Who are you!?” The princess says to me. “You don’t know? Why am I not surprised.” Luna gives me a cold glare, one that is only capable from her. “Your memories are fragmented, and sealed. The amount we pulled is only a little, at best. And that voice in them. It’s mine.” I nod slowly, matching the princesses cold glare with mine own. “Of course it’s your voice. It’s one that has haunted me forever.” I pause for a moment. “That voice has haunted me ever since I first heard those words. That voice left me. Frozen, and alone.” I rip out the cords and wires that are all attached to me.

Pain no longer fills my body, only hate now. I stand and march up to the princess. “That voice. Your voice! Left me. What kind of Mother does that!” Silence overcomes the room. the nurse just looks around. Glancing between me and the princess. “M-mother?” She stammers out, before regaining her cold glare. “Yes. Mother. You're my Mother. And you left me alone a long time ago. You left me in a place that was so cold, and dark.” A tear begins to form, but I refuse to show her any weakness.

“That’s impossible. I have never had a child.”  I grew angrier as she speaks. “Then who am I! Am I just nothing to you now? Have you really forgotten about me? Maybe Father was right. Maybe you are as evil has he says.” The princess drops her glare as she looks down at the ground. “W-who is your father?”  I scoff at her. “We both already know that answer, princess. I know you got his message.” I motion to the silver pegasus. She shakes her head furiously. “Then, you should know as well as I do, that your father can not be trusted.” I laugh. “Oh? And you're saying that you can be? Even if my memory is fragmented, and scattered, I still know that you abandoned me.”

“I would never abandon my family. Not intentionally. If you are my daughter, if you are who you say you are. Then, please, believe me. I would never abandon you.” She reaches her hoof out, but I just pull away from it. “Then why did you leave me?!” I shout out. More silence overcomes the room again. “I-I don’t know. I can’t even remember you. I have as many questions as you do.” Finally my anger simmers down. “Can you  leave please? I want to speak to Luna, alone.” The nurse complies instantly, rushing out of the room. “Stella Dusk. That is my name. From what I can remember, from these stupid fragments, is centuries ago when I was a little foal, you brought me to a place. It was beautiful. You said I could grow there. And be strong. But, you never were  there to watch me grow.”

Centuries ago.

“Stella. . Stella, I love you. I really do. Always remember that.” I sniff lightly, as I wrap my hooves around her, smiling up to her. “It’s ok mommy. I know that.” I hug her tightly. “I dont want to leave here, alone. But, it will only be for a moment. I’ll be back. I promise.” I frown. “Do you havta leave mommy?” I question as I hold her even more tightly. “Yes, I ‘havta’ leave. I dont want to . But, I have to.” She pauses for a moment. “Because if I dont then. . . “ Her voice trails off, fading slowly with the fragmented memory. The next thing I knew, I was being surrounded by purple crystal. Trying to call out to her. But, she just kept walking away. Back turned, never to     look back.

Present.

“Stella. I know this is all confusing. I know what we both saw in that fragment. But. I really don’t remember any of it. And, what of your father? What memories do you have of him?” I give a small smile. “His warmth. His gentle touch. His strength. All of those things is what I can remember of him. And his darkness. It was a calming one. . Like yours. I can still feel yours as well. Though, it seems to have grown stronger. Stronger, but not darker.” Luna gives me a confused look. “You can. . Feel my darkness?” I nod slowly. “Yes. I can also feel your light. A light that was once absent from you. . .” Still confusion adorns the princesses face. “H-how?” I give a shrug. “I don’t know. It’s my talent, I’ve always been able to sense a ponies arua. I can even see it. Though. . I can’t seem to anymore. even if I concentrate” The princess shakes her head. “That is not what I meant. I mean. How can you do that if you're an earth pony?”

What? Did she just say. . . And the nurse easylier. I think she said ‘weaker than the average earth pony.’ “I’m. . I’m not an earth pony. I’m a unicorn.” I reach my hoof up, coming into contact with my forehead, and nothing else.  “M-my horn? Wheres my horn?” I start to panic, breathing heavily. The next thing I know, the princess has wrapped her hooves around me. . That warmth. I know the princess has her doubts about me. But, I know for sure she is my mother. Her warmth is unmistakable. But. . Her warmth always brings the cold. I don’t ever want to experience that cold again. “Get away from me.” I mumble out. “What?” I hear her soft voice near me. I reach my hoof out, and shove the princess off of me.

“I said. Get Away!” I shout at her, a look of complete spite and malice in my eyes. I feel my darkness growing, practically radiating out of me. “I don’t need your comfort, or care. I’ve never had it before. And I sure don’t want it now!” I speak my words of hate to the shocked princess. “Stella. You’re going through a lot. Things have changed. They are not what you once remember. I know what that is like, trust me. It is only going to be hard to go through it alone.” I glare at the princess. “Who says I would be alone? I finally have a life again. I’m not going to stay here, and be interrogated by everypony. I’m going to go out, and have a life that I always wanted.”

“Stella. You can’t do that.” My glare hardens. “Oh, and why can’t I? You may be my mother, but you have never been my mom. And, even if you are a princess as well, I will not let you order me around. I’m going to get away from here, live my life, then pass away peacefully. . “ I pause for a moment. “Say. Luna? Is there an afterlife?” The princess, looking only slightly depressed now think my question over. “Yes., in some ways there is. Why do you ask?” I smile. “Well. If there is an afterlife, that means death isn’t the end of everything. . . . But. . But I want there to be an end. I was stuck in a cold world when you left me. I don’t want to go back. Ever. I was hoping that.” I pause, and bring my gaze to the princesses. My eyes, meeting hers. “I was hoping that once I died, I would never have to feel again. Never have to think about what could have been. And most of all. I hoped I would never see you again.”

My words are harsh, and I can see the affect they have on the princess immediately. “If. . .If that is what you wish then I will be going now. Feel free to go as far away from here as you can, once you can leave.” Her cold words match mine, as she turns and walks away. “I guess this is farewell.” I scoff at that, and the princess keeps walking away, disappearing in a silver flash. I let out a long sigh. I pull myself away from the bed slowly. I step up to the side, looking into a mirror. I see a mare staring back. She’s just an earth pony. Dark purple fur, with a lighter purple mane and tail. A light blue streak swirling through her mane and tail.

Me. This is what I look like. It’s weird. I think this is my first time looking at myself. I remember being different. Smaller. Slimmer. I had a horn as well. My eyes focus on my reflections forehead. Maybe my shattered memory is making me think that. I spin around looking over my slim body. My eyes trail to my cutie mark. Hmm. I don’t remember having one before. A dark purple sun, out lined in black. With a gray cross through it. Wonder what it means. I’ll find out sooner or later.