City of Bronze

City of Bronze

Chapter Two: The Guide

A vulgar smell filled the air.

Twilight Sparkle was reminded of her experience with Applejack's dog, Winona, as she walked her first steps in the City of Bronze. She had once agreed to help AJ to give her pet a much needed bath. Dogs tended to roll around in vile things to mask their scent from would-be prey, an instinct derived from years and years of evolution. Naturally, they had to be bathed every so often or they end up smelling like an overloaded dumpster behind a hayburger joint.

Winona hated taking a bath. She would thrash, snap, and yip at her master when that time of the month came. Catching the slippery mongrel was a pain, and dragging her into the tin tub of hot water was a nightmare.

Twilight vividly recalled the acrid scent when they had finally managed to restrain the howling beast and wash a week's worth of excrement and decaying animal out of her coat. She could've curled nose hairs twenty feet away with her stink. That was the same repulsive smell that filled the main chamber of Bog.

This room was nothing but solid rock and a few isolated systems of caves in the far-off days of yore. The chamber had to be dug up and carted out of the city piece by piece, one at a time. That was what the princess had read, anyway. She could hardly believe it, the painstaking process of making a single room was nearly unbelievable. The time that it would have taken...

The chamber was like the gargantuan Galloping Central Station back in the streets of Manehattan - but bigger. The ceiling must have been fifty feet high, with enough space for a skilled pegasus to comfortably fly around. It ended in an upside-down forest of stalactites, each one occasionally dropping a tiny bead of water into the head of some random passerby. As far as she could tell, the width of the place was four times greater than the aforementioned train station, crowded with boxy huts of stone and green bronze stacked together like foal's building blocks up to four stories high. The houses were nearly identical, save for a few random pieces of décor and several signs messily scrawled on with Growl. Twilight noticed how each sign was written in Equestrian as well, though they were all fraught with misspellings and grammatical errors."steelhamer blacksmit: good stabers for cheep" one read. Another said "hide and cloth cloths for studs and bitces."

The most prominent part was the chaotic mass of diamond dogs, of course. There were hundreds of tall, furry, bipedal creatures coming and going from all directions in huge groups. This main chamber was positively crowded with dogs to the point that it was impossible to take a single step in any direction without coming muzzle-to-waist with somepony, or rather somedog, in this case.

The entourage passed through a square that eerily resembled Ponyville's own. Dogs sat behind collapsible market stalls yelling out their wares in that incomprehensible language. Twilight nearly lost her light breakfast of dry wheat toast when she caught sight of one stall in particular. The female clerk was selling the dead flesh of fish by the pound and customers actually purchased it! Meat... she had read about it, she had been briefed by Celestia about it, but nothing on this green earth could have prepared her for it. All she could do was close her eyes, turn her head, and try to ignore the stomach-churning smell of flesh being cooked on a charcoal fire.

The alicorns stuck out like a sore hoof in Bog. Two ponies, one midnight blue and the other lavender, contrasted starkly with the sea of browns, blacks, and greys. Twilight was reminded of this fact every step of the way as each canine that they passed looked at them as if they had come from another world entirely. Some of them muttered amongst themselves in Growl with an occasional spattering of Equestrian, usually just "princess pony." All of them gave the mares a wide berth; whether it was from their diplomatic status or the deadly glares from their de facto guide, Twilight didn't know.

The streets were abuzz with activity as Bog's citizens ran through their daily routines like a colony of dutiful ants. Despite their great numbers, nearly all of the diamond dogs looked as distinctive from one another as ponies did. Twilight could easily identify each one by his or her breed which mirrored their four-legged counterparts. She could easily point out a schnauzer, a golden retriever, a dachshund, an Equestrian bulldog, as well as many other types that she couldn't even begin to count.

The three eventually pushed past the most active area, a stone's throw from the front gates, into a calmer and more residential area. The stench of a thousand wet dogs still hung in the air, but here it was toned down to tolerable levels. The chorus of chattering hounds had dulled to a murmur. In the center of it all was a babbling fountain, hewn from solid rock and lined with bronze, just like everything else in Bog. At this point, the tall black dog stopped the princesses.

"This is the spot," he said, opting to take a seat on the edge of the fountain.

"The spot for what?" Twilight asked.

The dog seemed to be staring at nothing, as if he were not paying any attention.

"Meeting."

"With whom are we meeting?" Luna inquired with a trace of irritation in her voice. This hound was not in the habit of explaining things very well.

 "Guide."

"I thought you were the guide," Twilight was growing equally tired of his speech patterns.

"I'm the bodyguard."

Luna gave an unladylike snort. "Ha! A bodyguard? We need no such thing. We have lived a thousand years entrapped upon an airless rock populated by beasts so vile that they could not be imprisoned anywhere in Equis. Any would-be foe in this city is no match for Twilight Sparkle and I. T'would be--"

"GLORY!" Luna's blatant bragging was cut short by a shrill, shrieking, almost maniacal laughter. "GLORY TO BIG-HIGH WAR GOD!"

The three instantly whirled around to lay eyes upon the source of the noise – a hunched-over diamond dog bursting from the shadows, racing forth on all fours.

"DEATH TO PONIES!"

Twilight had only caught a glimpse of this hound before it pulled a one-eighty and darted into a narrow alleyway. What little she saw of it was battered and bloody, with festering sores and fresh burns where there should have been fur.

"STRIP THE FLESH!" its gravelly voice echoed throughout the tight spaces, making it impossible to tell the direction from whence it came.

The black dog had reflexively put himself in between the princesses and where the crazed one had been. With a hiss of leather against steel, he had drawn a gleaming slender blade, held it at arm's-length, and took a defensive stance.

"SALT THE WOUND!"

Princess Luna joined her new bodyguard's side with her midnight wings flared and her horn aglow with silvery light.

"Stay behind us, mutt!" she barked at him. "T'would be unfortunate, should thou be caught in our crossfire." The diamond dog merely grunted and stood his ground, ignoring her. Luna whipped her head around to regard her partner, her eyes shining with the same brilliance as her horn. "That goes doubly for thou, Twilight Sparkle."

She couldn't help but shrink under the princess's white-hot gaze.

"Got it." Twilight knew better than to cross Luna when she's angry.

"COOK THE MEAT!" The dog's primal wailing made Twilight's hackles stand on end, accompanied by an icy shiver that ran its way down her spine.

"SILENCE, HEATHEN!" the princess roared so ferociously that Twilight was worried the entire mountain would shake apart on top of them.

"This is escalating very quickly!" Twilight shakily declared.

"EAT IT WHOLE!" This time, the dog leaped at them from a nearby rooftop, its rows of decaying fangs and sharp claws ready to meet equine flesh. Luna moved to intercept it, but the black dog was faster than her. The crazed mutt hadn't even landed when its exposed gut met a clenched fist. The bodyguard struck their assailant with enough force to send it flying almost a foot in a different direction. Twilight was pretty sure she heard the sickening sound of bones being broken.

With a whimper, the dog landed on his back, momentarily stunned... or so they thought. It recovered back to its feet with unnatural rapidity and scurried off, seeking refuge back in the shadows.

"TRY NOT KILL." It screamed "BIG-HIGH WAR GOD MAKE NOT DIE!"

"Enough of this! Cover your eyes!" With a mere wave if her horn, Luna had blasted everything in front of her with a wave of intense white light akin to that of a camera flash, but without any of its brevity. Both Twilight and the bodyguard shielded their eyes from the harsh spell. The power of that bit of simple light magic was so great that Twilight could still see the effects of the light through the crook of her leg.

It took only a moment for Twilight to blink away most of the floating colors that clouded her vision, but it would take much longer to regain her normal sight. Goodness... she was behind Luna when she cast the spell, the princess involuntarily shivered when she considered what could have happened to the poor sap who took the brunt of it.

Said sap was no longer hiding in the dark, Luna's spell, which had dulled down to the brightness of a lantern, had driven the darkness away. In the place of shadows, the spell left one ragged brown diamond dog curled up in the fetal position right in the middle of a cobblestone street. Its insane raving was replaced by an animalistic whimper of fear.

The three cautiously approached the pathetic pile of crying hound, with Luna in the lead. Their stalker appeared to be rendered harmless by the princess's light spell. It made no movements toward them as they drew nearer.

"Eyes!" It - no,he screamed. "Eyes gone!" He proceeded to rant and wail unintelligibly in Growl, not stopping his noise even when the three were upon him.

"Who...?" Twilight began to ask, but the words died in her mouth.

"Is that?" Luna finished, extinguishing her light.

"The guide." the black guard said gruffly.

"Can't see not but dark!" the scared dog continued. By now, this whole scene had attracted a small crowd of bystanders with its crazy screaming and bright lights. Dozens of dogs stood a healthy distance away as they looked to the four with great curiosity. Several of them peered out from their apartment windows while others stood just around the corner with their heads tentatively poking out. They chattered amongst themselves in a droning chorus of dog language. Twilight looked around. This was becoming quite a spectacle.

"The guide," Twilight echoed. "Why in the hoof would they pick a guide with as many screws loose as this guy?"

"Tis not likely that he had been this way for his entire life." Luna said in a monotone, creeping up to him to get a close and personal look.

"Oh...right."

"Mmm-hmm." the bodyguard agreed.

"Is blind! Is blind!"

"Oh, cease thine excessive bellyaching." the night princess chided. She prodded him lightly with a hoof. "Tis not permanent."

"NOT TOUCH US!" he returned with a snarl. "BIG-HIGH WAR GOD SMASH PONIES!"

"War god..." Twilight felt a lump form in her throat as she said those two words. "War is one thing. War god is something else entirely. One is bad news, the other is bad,bad news."

"This does not bode well."

"No kidding." Bodyguard drawled.

"BIG-HIGH WAR GOD SAY PONIES DIE. WE KILL PONIE--!" The mad dog was made silent in an instant when Luna firmly planted a hoof on his throat. The pressure wasn't enough to choke him, but just barely sufficient to silence the raving hound, save for some mildly unsettling gurgling noises that didn't sound at all like he could breathe very well.

"Nopony shall die today whilst I still stand on mine own four hooves. Neither by thy paw or by the paw of thine god. Is that clear?" She eased up a little for him to be able to speak his affirmative. The dog instead sucked in a wholly unnatural amount of phlegm from his sinuses and spat it back out, sending it sailing through the short distance between their faces and hitting Luna square between the eyes with a wet splat.

"Eww!" Twilight said.

"Yeah, ew." Bodyguard said.

For the longest time, nopony moved, nopony spoke, nopony blinked, nopony dared breathe. Even the sizeable mass of onlookers hadn't the courage to do or say anything. They merely stood silent and still, waiting for what was to come next.

Luna, to the amazement of her partner, slowly pulled away from the dog beneath her, who had burst into a mad giggling. Her face was as calm  and collected as Twi had ever seen it, but her eyes...oh, her eyes. They were bursting with a fiery rage so hot and furious that she could have boiled the eastern sea with a single glare. Her insides trembled, but her body was still. It was only the many years of diplomatic experience under her metaphorical belt that kept the princess of the night from turning this dog into a fine paste.

The gooey greenish loogie slowly slogged its way down her muzzle and eventually dripped off the tip of her nose and on to the ground with another splat that Twilight swore could have been heard throughout the city.

Luna was not angry, nor was she mad. She wasn't even miffed. Only one sentence in the entirety of the Equestrian language could ever do this situation justice.

Luna was livid.

"Twilight Sparkle," she said, her words as empty and emotionless as a barren desert.

"Um, yes?"

"Thou art an intelligent pony." she said as if stating that the sky were blue. "Canst thou find one reason for us not to beat this mongrel into submission?"

"Uhhmmm..." Twilight hesitated. There was no telling what the princess would do in that volatile state. She wasn't even sure if  Luna knew what Luna was going to do next. "May-beeee-- He could, uh, have information?"

"Thou stated that as if it were a question." she said with no audible inflection in her voice, turning to look her partner dead in the eyes. The ball of phlegm had left a sticky trail in its foul wake. Twilight tried not to stare at it.

"I did. Okay then..." Uh oh. Here it comes. Twilight had prepared to encounter a few bumps on the way to working things out, but nothing like this. "He can tell us who this "big-high war god" is. And stuff." Her voice was as small an squeaky as that of a mouse. Twilight flinched away from her partner, preparing her ears for the infamous Royal Canterlot Voice.

It never came.

Luna wordlessly closed her eyes, took in a deep breath through her mouth, and let it out through her nose. "Correct. This dog needs to be questioned." She regarded the still unnamed bodyguard. "Let us move this somewhere-" The princess inclined her head at the wide-eyed gaggle of spectators "-more private. I believe that whatever this one has to say to us would be better unheard by the ears of the commoners."

The dog gave her a single curt nod, then beckoned the two to follow him further into the bowels of Bog.

"Oh, and could somepony please find us a moist towelette."

Tunnels.

The vast marketplace cavern was merely a nexus for Bog, a single room to conduct the entire city's local commerce. What made up the real City of Bronze was its tunnel system. The claustrophobic five foot-by-six tunnels numbered in the thousands and stretched out for nearly a mile in all directions, like the roots of a tree - or rather, the roots of a mountain.

They all led on and on, twisting and turning like a snake that had caught itself in a knot. Each one appeared nearly identical to the last, the only differences were in the length of each hall and the unreadable language scrawled on overhangs. Unlike in the marketplace, there wasn't a single letter of proper Equestrian to be found.

Peeking through the rudimentary windows in each of the heavy stone doors that lined the walls, the princesses could see that the rooms were not as uniform as the halls. Each one seemed to have a  purpose to it. Most looked like bedrooms and living rooms, their walls lined with all manner of things that one would find in the home of a dog; beds covered in animal hides, crude bronze and stone furniture, yellowed pieces of paper with things drawn upon them that could have passed for art, macabre lanterns made from the bones of long-dead creatures, few of them held cases sparsely filled with ragged scrolls; everything that a diamond dog needed to live.

Some other rooms looked to be places of industry. They saw workshops filled with expertly forged steel tools and the craftsdogs that made them, kitchens littered with utensils that were stained with the blood of some horned beast, several classrooms inhabited by groups ofbreathtakingly adorable wide-eyed pups and the elderly teachers that shepherded them, as well as one or two storage rooms filled with nothing but wooden crates and barrels.

Twilight also noticed a single room with a red cross hanging over the door, the universal sign of medical facilities. The inside of it barely passed for such. It was merely a place with several mildly clean beds and a set of "precision" surgical  tools that probably wouldn't pass a health inspection, if they even had those things in Bog. The whole city must have been a hundred years behind the rest of the world, infirmaries like this would have been an atrocity in modern day Equestria. Twilight tried not to cringe when she thought of what would happen to dogs that wind up in that room.

The alicorns idly stared at the greenish bronze gilding that lined the corners as their wordless bodyguard led them around seemingly random turns with the yowling scarred dog casually slung over his shoulder.

Twilight nudged her partner in the shoulder, who had been silently rubbing her face the entire trip. "Hey." she murmured.

Luna blinked a few times as she had been pulled from her deep thoughts. "Twilight?"

"I didn't think you'd keep so cool back there."

Luna scoffed indignantly and rolled her eyes in a manner that one would expect of a teenager. "We are thousands of years old, We have before wallowed in blood and filth many a time in the fields of battle. What didst thou expect of us?"

Twilight made a sound mimicking a large explosion.

"Then thou art sorely mistaken. No amount of bodily fluid could cause us to lose control of our temper."

"Well, you looked pretty red in the face to me."

"Pah! T'was a trick of the light."

"Sure."

The three continued on in silence.

Twilight tried to make a mental log of each turn that they made, should she need to find her way back in case of emergency. This was not something she did normally, but the crazed dog was a reminder that they weren't in the warm and safe comfort of Equestria any more.

It went left, left, right, left, right, right right, left, right, left left, right (wait, that last one was actually a left) left right-- No, left again! Right, right, left...

"Horseapples!" She hissed under her breath. Twilight had lost mental track of the path. How far did these tunnels even go? Well, they should be okay as long as they had a guide-- preferably not an insane one.

It took them a good ten minutes of traveling through the labyrinth until the four came upon their destination. Naturally, the door to said room looked exactly like all of its brethren, save for the slight variations on the unreadable sign.

The solid stone door made a terrible grinding noise as the dog easily pushed it open. Twilight did a double-take at it as she followed him in. The granite slab that tried to pass as a door must have been two inches thick and seven feet high, weighing more than several fully grown ponies. This city had clearly been designed to cater to one race and one race only because Twilight was sure that she could give herself a hernia trying to open one of those without magic.

Once inside, Twilight gasped. The first thing in the room that caught the princesses' eyes was the collection of several menacing wrought iron cages large enough to fit a single diamond dog in each one. They sat off to the far side, stacked together like the houses from earlier, only these went two stories til they hit the ceiling. Some of them were occupied by dogs that bore a striking resemblance to their attacker. It was mainly the fresh wounds and puss-filled yellow burns that stood out. Their fur had been matted into clumps where blood and other bodily fluids had dried and scabbed over.

Just as quickly as the two saw the dogs, the dogs saw them. The mass of wounds and fur savagely beat their whole bodies against the cages, all the while snarling and barking like a wild wolf tied to a tree. A white foamy froth gathered at the corners of their mouths and dripped on to the floor.

Twilight couldn't bear to look at them for too long, for fear she might heave from the sight of this grotesque scene, but nothing she did could stop her from becoming as pale as a piece of paper. She instead focused on the much less disturbing image of the idle dog with a tattered crimson red scarf that lay lazily in a hammock set up between two empty cages on the other end of the room.

Princess Luna only spared a glance or two at the prisoners. She had spoken of her time with the diamond dogs before, and Twilight wondered if was a sight so common in diamond dog settlements that the princess had grown accustomed to it? Perhaps was it her nerves of steel that kept her from gasping as her partner had. Twilight hoped it was the latter.

"Hod!" The bodyguard almost literally barked. In response, the sleeping dog, apparently named Hod, yelped and rolled out of the hammock onto the floor with a dull thud.

Hod hastily scrambled to his feet, almost tripping on his own scarf in the process. He then made some kind of gesture at the bodyguard; his right paw curled into a fist and was brought to his chest. It must have been some kind of salute.

"Sir!" His voice was obnoxiously high-pitched.

"Go get Alpha."

The scarved dog raised his bushy eyebrows."But Oak, Alpha say don't bug him unless it important."

The bodyguard bared his teeth and his face contorted into an ugly snarl. "It is." He adjusted the dog over his shoulder. "We've got another foamer."

"Okay okay, Hod go now." With his tail between his legs, the dog slinked off out of the room, only pausing to give the same salute to the princesses.

The bodyguard gave a satisfied nod as the door closed behind them. He then proceeded to unceremoniously throw their would-be attacker into one of the cells and slam the cage door shut with a loud clatter. After all was unsaid and done, he threw himself into the hammock and put his paws behind his head.

"So, uhh..." Twilight began, but her words failed her. So many questions crept across her mind, but she had only the ability to ask one at a time; which one was would be first?

Princess Luna beat her to it. "What in the blazes is going on with this city?!" She all but screamed, barely restraining her Royal Canterlot Voice.

In response, the bodyguard chose to lazily swing in the hammock without a word. He seemed to be off in a world that was all his own.

"Well?!"

He cracked one eye open. "Want an answer?"

Her nostrils flared like that of a bull seeing red."We would love one, if it pleases your highness!"

The dog calmly adjusted himself in the rope to sit upright and gave the two a shrug. "Uh-unno."

"Luna," Twilight stepped forward and put a hopefully reassuring hoof on her shoulder "please calm dow--"

The night princess whipped her head around and fixed an icy stare at the smaller alicorn. "Thou had better not be telling us to calm down!"

Twilight shrunk back a little, but held her ground against the ancient ruler of the night. At times the princess had the disposition of a sleeping bear, and she believed it was normally best to not prod that metaphorical bear with a sharp stick unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Look," Twilight had to chose her words carefully "we can yell at the socially awkward dog all day if you want, but you also wanted to interrogate our prisoner. So why don't you let all that anger out on him, okay? He's a little more important right now."

Luna gave her friend a half-hearted glare. "We hate it when thou art such a wearer of the smart pants."

"You mean smarty pants?"

"Is that not what We had just said? It matters not, We have not had ourselves a decent interrogation in quite a long while, and we would jump at the chance to to pull all of the valuable information from this hound's feeble skull. Let us get to it!"

"You can sound really scary when you want to, you know that right?"

"We do."

Without further adieu, the night princess sashayed toward the cage, her body language instantly melting away from the rigidity of anger to the smoother movements of a much calmer demeanor. Twilight found it fascinating how somepony who was the very picture of rage an instant ago could turn around everything from her tone of voice to her subtle body language on a whim.  She had become a whole new pony with a completely different personality.

"Nooooww..." Luna droned at the dog, drawing uncomfortably close to the cell. "We can't question thou properly without knowing thy name."

"PONY EYES LOOK TASTY!" the remnants of a guide screamed in response, lurching forward to claw the face of his interrogator. It missed her by merely an inch.

"We doth not believe that to be thy name," She said, dryly.

A barely audible chuckle escaped the bodyguard's lips. "Don't waste your time."

"Why not?" Twilight asked. "I'm sure he can remember his own name."

The dog gave Twi a queer look, as if she had said something that he found completely idiotic. "He used to have a name. Doesn't anymore."

"And what," Luna said with another roll of the eyes "in the name of the silvery moon does that mean."

"Foam took it."

"Foam?" asked Twilight.

"Rabies." Luna answered for the dog. "A horrid disease that ran rampant in the past. It degrades the mind of any who are sick with it; quickly eating away at one's sanity and causing the infected to desecrate their own flesh. They have no problem desecrating the flesh of others as well. Hence the hostility."

Luna went on, giving the bodyguard the stink eye. "If We recall correctly, a cure for that plague had been invented a thousand years past. We pray that Bog's government has seen fit to administer this cure to these dogs." She made a sweeping gesture to the dozen or so rabid prisoners. "Equestria and the Crystal Empire would look down upon thy leader with disdain for not distributing it fairly."

The dog grunted dismissively. "We did."

"Then why art these poor mongrels afflicted?"

"Cure didn't work."

Luna opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but the words didn't come. She hesitated for scarcely a moment, her eyes going wider than she meant them to.

"Preposterous! The cure was meant to destroy all forms of rabies, not just isolated breeds. There is no reason why anypony on this continent would be afflicted after drinking the cure tonic! Those dogs should not be rabid!"

"Rabid dogs don't rave about gods of war." Twilight added.

Luna cocked an eyebrow at her partner. "Art thou suggesting that the cause wasdivine?"

Twilight returned that eyebrow. "Got any better theories?"

 "Aye!" she snapped. "There hath been nary a--" Princess Luna stopped herself, eyeing the dog with suspicion. She motioned for Twilight to come within whispering distance. She obliged and was pulled into a two-mare huddle.

"There hath been nary a god who would be brave enough to set hoof upon Equestria in eons!" She hissed into her ear. "We shall speak of them no more."

"Oh come on!" Twilight whispered back. "Celestia refuses to even talk to me about the gods from ancient history! What is so bad about knowing just a little bit m--"

"We see that thou hast spent far too much of thine spare time in the Royal Archives! When We say that We shall speak of it no more, then not a word more shall be uttered."

Luna broke the huddle and regarded the dog with that silky voice once again. "Now, where were we? Ah yes, thy name please."

"MEEEEEEEAT!" he cried in glee, taking another swipe at the princesses.

"Then we shall call thee Meat."

"I don't think that's his real name." Twilight chimed in.

"It will have to suffice. Tell us, Mister Meat, who is this "big-high war god" that thou screamest thy lungs out for?"

Twilight would have liked to think that she saw a glimmer of intelligence, understanding, and civility in Meat's eyes when Luna asked him that question. Alas, all she saw was madness. Something had a firm grasp on this dog, but she didn't think that something was a mere disease. The insanity that had gripped his mind could not be natural.

"Big-high War God..." he said, his voice suddenly lowering to a little louder than a whisper. "...is ever-thing."

"I believe you mean "ever-ey-thing," right?" Twilight had very little tolerance for improper grammar, and this dog could have driven her over the edge with a single sentence.

"Is rocks," the dog went on, ignoring the princess "is dirt, is air, is cage, is ponies, is dogs,  is you, is...is me." Meat continued to ramble and rave in garbled Equestrian, but eventually slipped back into his own native tongue. His speech was going a mile a minute, his words were unintelligible to even one who spoke Growl. He had lapsed into incoherent noises, curling into the fetal position and rocking back and forth like a scared child.

"Meat," Luna said, lightly waving her hoof at him. "Please focus on us. We've much to discuss."

He paid her no mind, completely enthralled by his own thoughts.

She impatiently rapped on the cage with a silver-clad hoof. "Meat!"

No response.

"To Tartarus with it!" Luna broke character, letting her normal irate self come through. "We've lost him. We don't believe that he will speak to us at all." She shook her head in disappointment. "Twilight, you may be correct about the cause of this dog's insanity. While it may not be divine, it doth not originate from nature; tis an outside force that drives him mad."

Twilight spared another look at the blabbering hound, trying to hold her nerve together. "What could cause this? Dark magic?"

"No magic is truly dark, Twilight." Luna corrected. "Tis the will of the user that is corrupt. But aye, We think the sickness to be arcane, perhaps the work of a demon. They do have quite a fondness for the weak-minded, and this city has no shortage of those."

The purple alicorn forcefully swallowed a lump in her throat. "Demons....wonderful."

"Oh, look not so pale, Twilight. Tis nothing to be afraid of!" Luna was oddly cheery. "Most demons that pose as all-powerful gods are too weak to do their own bidding, that is why they have their underlings."

Then Luna looked away as a thought came to her head. "Though, hallucination is a side effect of rabies, and that would probably mean that the war god could be a figment of Meat’s fever dreams. If that proves true, then Bog could be dealing with a plague demon due to the sudden incurable ailment. Those are deadly on their own, but still quite a thrill to vanquish hoof-to-claw. Though, We did not think to bring any holy weaponry with us on this mission of peace. Let us pray that it is  something as easily defeated as a thrall demon."

"Yeah, let's..." Twilight murmured. "I thought we came here to settle a trade disagreement, not to go off saving the city from demons." She gave off an exasperated sigh, followed by a humorless chuckle. "Things like this do tend to follow us around wherever we go, don't they?"

The night princess laughed. "Ha ha! Tis the truth, my dear friend. Even to the great white plains of the north, destiny still follows you and I."

"I bet it does." A new voice sounded from behind the two, this one was mellow, confident, and youthful.

The two turned to see a diamond dog whose looks did not at all fit his voice. He was a lumbering hulk of a dog, almost two and a half ponies wide, standing so tall the his ears brushed the top of the doorway when he marched inside. This dog was clearly an albino, with eyes like glossy cherries and fur like the snow that blanketed the mountain. His facial features resembled a schnauzer, with bushy eyebrows and a short hanging beard that grew from his jaw. He sort of reminded Twilight of a snow troll, big and muscular. She silently hoped that he did not have the manners of such a beast.

"Ah, and who art thou?" Luna asked.

He didn't answer at first, the albino merely laughed merrily, as if he were sharing a joke with a friend. "Doh ho ho! S'cuse my manners, but it's been a long time since I've met somebody that didn't know who I was at first glance. You probably know already that we don't have a whole lot of ponies around these parts. I only see my diamond dog friends most days."

"Then you are the Alpha!" She said with great relief, forcing herself to drop the archaic diction. "Before we begin, I feel obligated to tell you that my colleague and I may have discovered the presence of a possible plague demon in you city."

"So that's what's causing the foam? Huh." The Alpha said, stroking his beard with a claw, a thoughtful look upon his face. "Thank the heavens that the tonic didn't stop working, else we'd be up to our necks in dead bodies and plague victims. But a demon? Hmm. Bog has set up defenses for that kind of stuff. We aren't 'zactly the masters of magic up here, not like you ponies and your unicorns, but something as bad as a real live mother-humpin' hellspawn should set off all kinds'a warning spells."

"Sorry for the lack of formal introductions and stuff." The dog went on. "You were s'posed to take a tour of all the nicer places in Bog before we all had a sit-down to talk about this trade thing, but uh, well--" he pointed a claw at ex-tour guide curled up in the corner, intently sucking his thumb "--looks like your guide caught a little case of crazy."

"Is there anything we can do to help him?" Twilight spoke up. "I mean, I'm pretty good with magic. If the disease is magical instead of natural, I might be able to find a cure."

"Hah!" The albino snorted mirthfully. "Good with magic! I already know whoyou are, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you saved Equestria--Like, what was it?--five times. The people of Bog might seem cut off from the world, but some of us still follow current events. And I'll tell ya, your name comes upa lot."

Twilight's cheeks flared. "Well, I had the help of my friends. They saved Equestria just as much as I did..." She was becoming used to being called a princess, but she wasn't prepared for receiving praise for things she didn't have all that much of a hoof in. Did everypony really think that she was the one responsible for defeating all of those villains? The media these days...

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, we haven't been properly introduced." The Alpha struck a rather dramatic pose. "I am Alpha MaleArrel Whitefur, of the clan Whitefur. Yeah, we're all albinos, in case you haven't guessed by the name."

"Charmed." Luna said. "And I am Princess Luna of Equestria." She extended a hoof toward the diamond dog. Without a single grimace or flinch, she allowed Arrel to take the hoof in his paw andlick it. It was the canine equivalent of kissing a fair maiden's hoof. She calmly retracted it and wiped the excess saliva off when the dog wasn't looking.

"I, ah, am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria. Uhm..." Twilight leaned and whispered into Luna's ear. "Do I have to let him lick my hoof?"

"He will not have to lick your hoof if you wish to greet him in the traditional manner of the diamond dog."

"Oh, well how do I do that?"

"Tell me, Twilight, how do the four-legged dogs normally greet one another?"

"That's easy; they would just sniff each other's-- Ohkaynevermind."

"Problem?" Arrel asked.

Twilight went as rigid as a board. "None at all!" she said with a smile that was alittle too wide to be believable. She tentatively inched her hoof closer to the Alpha, trying not to look so reluctant.

With a roll of his eyes, Arrel took her hoof and gave it a brief lick. His wet tongue was slimy like an eel, and warm on her fur. She thanked the stars that it had been brief, and cursed herself for being so squeamish in front of what could be considered the most powerful diamond dog in Equestria.

"Welp," Arrel said, clasping his hands together. "I'm sure that all of this craziness has you ladies beat. Plus, I'd don't want you to stand in this room full of diseased dogs any more than you should. You want Oak here to escort you to your rooms?"

"Oak?" Twilight asked."Who is that?"

Arrel face contorted into a look of confusion. "What'doya mean? He's right over th--" he pointed the the snoozing bodyguard dog. "Oh don't tell me he didn't tell you his name? Huh, that's just like him. That raggedy bastard over there is namedOakfang. He's the damned captain of the Hellhounds; that's the city watch."

He stomped over to the hammock and poked Oakfang with a claw. "Hey, Oak! Get your lazy antisocial ass up and take these bitches to their rooms."

"Did he just call us--?!"

 "We are not sure. Hush."

The dog grumbled something in Growl and slipped out of the ropes. He cracked his back and barely even glanced at the towering Alpha, choosing to walk right past him and to the mares.

"Come." he said.

The princesses shared a quick look and followed Oakfang out of the room. Twilight was last to exit, she paused for a moment to see that Arrel had elected to stay behind. He had his back turned; the princess thought that she could hear him talking in hushed tones to Meat. Poor dog... she felt sad for him. Nopony should have to be the victim of something as terrible as rabies. She couldn't even imagine what the Alpha was feeling as he had to witness his subjects in such a state.

With her heart a little heavier, she slipped out to catch up with Oak and Luna.

"You've got some perfect damn timing, V." Arrel Whitefur said to the rabid dog with a barely restrained growl.

The so-called guide looked up to his Alpha in confusion. "Our name not--GYAH!"

Without any warning at all, Meat's entire body seized up like he had been hit with a powerful electric shock. All four of his limbs flailed wildly as he wailed and whimpered, as if he trying to strike a foe that simply was not there. It was like watching someone having a horrifying nightmare that they could not wake from. Arrel absolutely hated it when V did that.

Then at once the dog went as limp as a noodle, his wet tongue hanging comically out of his mouth. After a moment, he lifted his head and spoke. "You know that I can't pass up an opportunity to toy with you, White One." His voice was the same, but the crazed words and the grave tone was gone, replaced by one much smoother and calmer.

Arrel should have known better than to bare his teeth when he spoke to V, but he couldn't resist the natural urge. "You justhad to let one of your crazies loose today of all days."

"Mmmm..." he hummed thoughtfully. "No, not really. But why not put a little challenge in to the princesses' visit? It's been awfully dull playing my games with your dimwitted brethren. I just needed some challenging opponents, that's all."

"But what purpose did that even serve?!" He all but screamed. "Now they know you're here, and they'll be looking. If this gets any further, it's all gonna blow back on me, and Ido not want to piss off Equestria's royalty more than I already have with this embargo shit."

 "Relax," The possessed dog said in a rather serene tone. "If you do exactly what I say, then you won't end up with an army at your doorstep, I promise. Cross my cold heart and hope to, ah,die."

"Fine," Arrel grumbled. "But if the Equestrians even think I hadanything to do with this--"

"They won't."