City of Bronze

by Dick McKickEm

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure
Length: 19811

Princesses Twilight and Luna travel to the ancient City of Bronze to investigate why its diamond dog inhabitants had cut off the city's valuable ore trade with Equestria. But they soon learn that the underground city is built upon more than rock

The City of Bronze: a rugged metropolis situated deep under the frozen Crystal Mountain Range, the mecca for all things that concern the diamond dogs and the only permanent settlement built by their race. Even after hundreds of years in operation, its valuable mines still churn out an endless stream of metal and jewels. It is the largest producer of raw ore in the world.

Something dark resides in the belly of this ancient city, something far older and far stronger than the mountain that entombs it. It will soon be released, free to do as it wishes.

Meanwhile, two princesses intent on nurturing diplomatic relations with the city ride north…

Editing by Horsepungoeshere

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-09 01:50:32 UTC

Chapter One: The Train

City of Bronze

Chapter One: The Train

Somewhere in the secluded fields of the frozen north, a train rolled across the snow-covered landscape.

The train was different than its southern counterparts, those traveling in the greener parts of Equestria. This one was made from a multitude of shining crystals, forged for the very specific purpose of grinding through literal tons of snow and ice as if it were nothing. Even with snowdrifts piled up higher than the train itself, it would plow through the stuff like a boat through water. It was truly a sight to behold, the powdery white snow and glittering shards of ice blowing across either side of the train in blistering jets as the hulking machine of smoke and crystal carved a path through the barren fields.

Princess Twilight Sparkle had never taken a train this far north. She was used to riding the rails in her more temperate and comfortable homeland. The princess had long since passed the Crystal Empire, and was now speeding through new parts of Equestria that she had never before laid eyes on. It had been an exciting experience for the first hour or so, but large flat fields of nothing but ice, snow, and the occasional rock formation became monotonous after a short period of time.

It was snowing. It was always snowing in the Crystal Empire's territory. The flakes were nothing but blurry specks that came and went by the hundreds as the train raced across the countryside. Twilight could just barely see the dark grey outline of the Crystal Mountain Range far off on the horizon, looking no closer than it did ten minutes ago.

Twilight sighed and slumped a little farther into her cushy seat. She should have brought something interesting to read. She did have a paperback copy of "The Equestriapedia! - All you need to know about the realm of Equestria and more!" as a quick reference guide. Though she had little use for it since she had probably read that particular copy a dozen times over. Having some sort of informative literature was a habit she had since time immemorial.

The alicorn's eyes idly wandered about the cabin in search of something to focus on for the long ride ahead of her. There was nopony to pass time with through conversation. She and Princess Luna, who had blissfully nodded off in the seat opposite of hers a while ago, had the whole car to themselves. There wasn't exactly much tourism going on up there in Autumn; the only trains that ever braved the early snows of the tundra were freight trains bound for the Crystal Mountains.

Twilight affixed her eyes on the royal princess of the night laying before her. Luna's ethereal mane still flowed and whipped of its own accord even when she slept. She had shed her black and silver regalia seconds after the train had left the station and was slumped up against the window in a snoring pile of princess. A tiny bead of drool slowly inched its way out of her mouth and down her slender neck.

Even after witnessing Celestia let down her multicolored hair every once in a while, she had not grown used to knowing her younger sister on an informal basis. Sure, Twilight and her friends had freed the princess from a dark and terrible spirit and helped her take her first steps into the modern world, but after that it had been nothing but proper manners and brief conversations between the two. Her strict night hours didn't help, either.

But after half a day alone with Luna on a boring, bumpy ride, Twilight learned that, like Celestia, Luna was just another pony. A very, very tired pony.

Well, it was probably time wake her royal sleepiness up. It was Twilight's job to make sure she stayed on a common pony's sleep schedule while they were working together.

"Luna," Twilight said, her voice breaking the thick silence that permeated the room. Luna, in response, gave not even the slightest of signs that she heard a thing.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Luna, wake up!" This time, the night princess's nose twitched.

Twilight lightly prodded her partner with a hoof, eliciting an unintelligible mumble from the alicorn as she shifted and wriggled in her sleep.

"Oh for the love of- Luna!" Twilight grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her whole body back and forth. It worked better than she had expected. Luna's eyes shot open in an instant,  but instead of her piercing orbs of cyan blue, Luna's eyes shone with a fierce white light brighter than a pair of torches. Twilight instantly reeled back into her seat in shock and with no small amount of fear. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to do at this time.

The intensity of Luna's voice violently shook the train and threatened to tip the whole thing over as she boomed in her traditional royal Canterlot voice. "THOU KNOW'ST NOT THE CONTAINER OF POSTERIOR PUMMELING THOU HATH FOALISHLY OPE- Wait, Twilight?"

Just as quickly as her fit of rage began, it faded back into normalcy. The princess looked about the cabin as if she didn't know where she was. Her blistering white eyes blinked out, and her voice went back to an acceptable speaking volume.

Then something truly unexpected happened; her usual expression of cold, calculated emotional distance was not anywhere to be found. Instead, she wore a mask of... sheepishness.  Her normally dark cheeks had flared up to a shade of red that was more suitable for fruit than a face. "Apologies, Twilight," the princess said. "We are not accustomed to being woken up in such a manner. Thou hath merely interrupted our pleasant dreams."

"It's, uh, okay," Twilight said, unable to hear her own voice from the ringing in her ears. Luckily, it faded quickly. "You know what they say about sleeping dogs and letting them lay."

Luna nodded sagely, stifling a powerful yawn. "Indeed We do, but tis a poor metaphor. Our eyes need to be open in order to conduct our important affairs effectively." The princess stretched and flexed her neck and forelegs tiredly, generating small cracking sounds from her joints that made Twilight cringe.

She idly scratched her belly and asked, "Hath we drawn near to the city yet?" Luna pulled back the curtain on her half of the booth. "Nay. Tis nothing but an endless expanse of white oblivion."

"I wanted to ask you about the city..." she began, "I just can't seem to find any books on the City of Bronze.  There were hardly any records of a place by that name, even in my personal collection. I was wondering if you could tell me more? I'd like to know the history of this place before we go in."

"Listen to this," she said, flipping open her Equestriapedia "The City of Bronze - A wondrous, wealthy city situated in the deep north at the edge of the Crystal Mountains. It is inhabited exclusively by a race of beings known as the diamond dogs (see page 217 for more information). It is a large producer of ores and gems including (but not limited to) iron, copper, tin, gold, and silver. It is lead by an individual monarch called "The Alpha"."

Her book snapped shut. "And that's the best entry I've found so far."

Luna laughed heartily, her oddly throaty voice filled the empty train car. "Twilight, there have been many a better way to gain knowledge than your tireless fancy for books. Thou cannot find much about the city because thou hath been looking for the wrong name!"

"I beg your pardon?"

The night princess chuckled again. "Thou know'st this City of Bronze only by its modern name. The older and more complete texts always refer to it by the moniker given to it by the first diamond dogs that inhabit the hole. Twas named ‘Bog’ during the first rule of Sister and I. The dogs, now possessing pretensions of education,  chose a much fancier term for it during my stay on that Lunar prison."

"Bog," Twilight echoed. "Why would they settle on such an odd name?" A city that far north could not in any way be described as "boggy."

Princess Luna let a nostalgic smile creep onto her face as the memories of years past flooded back into her mind. "Thou must understand that diamond dogs are not a people known for their wits. Ponies cannot pronounce its true name; tis spoken in a tongue that only mutts may understand. Roughly translated, it means ‘dog.’ Unfortunately, the mongrels had an even worse grasp of the Equestrian language than they do today. When they carved its Equestrian name into the gates leading into the city, it read ‘bog.’ They neither had the intellect to use a capital letter nor to tell the difference between a lower case d and b. Tis most fortuitous indeed! We had a good laugh at their expense when We first learned of this."

"Huh," was all Twilight had to say about that. What a strange bit of history. The whole city was named Bog for more than a millennia because of an easily avoidable spelling mistake. Fascinating. She made a mental note to not use words longer than seven letters around the diamond dogs.

"In truth," Luna continued "we hath not laid our eyes upon Bog in ages! We are curious as to how a filthy hole in the wall became the center of diamond dog culture in the time that We had been away. Twas nothing but a single pack of mutts with a crate full of digging tools a millennia ago."

"Well, they picked one heck of a spot. From what I've read of it, the city could have the largest deposits of iron and copper on the planet."

"Indeed," Luna said, staring thoughtfully out of the window. "But why would a city of great wealth like Bog chose to cut off its supply lines? Tis senseless! They doth not possess the land to grow crops or cut lumber. They would soon starve to death without the assistance of Equestria. What reason would they have to put their entire way of life in jeopardy? Tis bothering me…"

"Maybe they've found a way to grow crops in the cold," suggested Twilight.

"Perhaps. T'would not be the doing of a dog, should thou speak'st true." The princess wrinkled her forehead at the thought of diamond dogs having no need for Equestria's trade. That idea was disturbing indeed. "Twould require a pony, and a highly intelligent one at that. Tis a feat that a city full of boneheaded mutts could not accomplish."

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but after catching the distressed look on her partner's face, she thought it best to stay silent for the moment. This problem was really getting to her. Twilight wondered if she should have been as worried as Luna.

"Equestria cannot continue to grow its current rate," Luna said solemnly, her eyes locked on the rushing scenery outside of the window. "Not without ore. Twas much easier when we produced everything that we require without the aid of foreign powers. Now look at us, thousands of working hooves hath been made idle when some arrogant diamond dog on the other side of the continent decided that Equestria was not good enough for their metal."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Twilight agreed. "Everything from forks, to swords, to jewelry, to hammers and nails is running low. We won't have much left of anything in a year."

"Let us pray that the diamond dogs can be persuaded to see reason." the night princess said, her voice returning back its icy impartiality. "We know not what caused this lapse in trade relations, but We hope that is was a mere misunderstanding between us and them and not something much more, ah... permanent."

The way she said that last word- permanent -sent an involuntary shiver down Twilight's back. She didn't completely understand what it meant, and that scared her a little. The thought that the dogs would have a legitimately good reason to permanently cut off trade made her stomach do a backflip. It was a sobering idea indeed.

Twilight had no reply to Luna, and the train crept back into silence.

Fifty hours.

It took that behemoth of a train fifty hours to get from Canterlot to The City of Bronze. Twilight Sparkle had never so bored in all of her life. Chugging along, chug chug chug nonstop for more than two days straight. Who knew that the ice fields just north of the Crystal Empire were so huge? Certainly not her.

The moment that the train came to a complete stop, when the incessant clickety clack of the rails had faded to blissful silence, the two princesses felt like the luckiest ponies to have ever walked the earth. Twilight, who had been unused to riding in such conditions, went wobbly as soon as she was on her hooves. She had heard of the saying "getting one's sea legs" many times before, but she hadn't experienced the true meaning of those words until then, and on land no less.

Princess Luna was first to step out of the car and onto the creaky wooden platform. A blast of frigid subarctic air and stray flakes of snow rushed up to greet the two as soon as the door was opened. Twilight cleverly remembered to at least bring along a fuzzy red and purple striped scarf on a trip to the Frozen North. She silently thanked Rarity for the gift as she pulled said scarf a little tighter around her face and followed her partner outside.

Luna, on the other hoof, did not give a flying rut about the temperature. She brought no articles of cold weather clothing as she would rather be invigorated by the biting air and the lashing autumn wind than try to shield herself from it. Luna loved the cold. It made her feel alive.

"Tis a glorious day today, is it not, Twilight!?" Luna merrily asked with a sweeping gesture at Bog's train station, a rickety old hovel tied together with nothing more than a couple of sticks, some rope, and a whole lot of hope. As there were few ponies or dogs coming and going from the city, the passenger drop off was not as well-kept and structurally sound as the cargo loading area.

"That depends on your d-d-definition of g-glorious." Twilight returned, her whole body shaking and her teeth chattering.

"Thou should learn to appreciate the frozen beauty of the Crystal Mountains. It is a most wondrous place to live thy life! We have taken many a vacation here in our lifetime. We vividly recall our last trip to Mount Spearhead -" Luna chucked devilishly to herself " - Our wing was injured because we were too headstrong to not fly through a raging blizzard on our own, so We had to walk the trail to the peak on hoof. Standing in our path was the most gruesome, vile, and ugly mountain troll that We had ever laid our eyes upon. We wished that thou were alive to have seen it. We should have packed a sword, for the beast had lunged at us with the force of a--"

Before Luna could go off on another of her wild "back in my day..." stories, she was interrupted by a coarse coughing from behind the two. They turned to see a two-legged figure lurking in the station's doorway. It was tall, tall enough to dwarf even Princess Luna when it rose to full height. The diamond dog stood like a statue with his arms crossed across his chest. He regarded the princesses with cold eyes and a stony expression on his wolfish black face.

Twilight couldn't help but stare wide-eyed at this beast before her. Was he wearing... a dead animal?! It looked like the dog had taken the dark brown carcass of a deer and made its skin into a furry smock with a hood. He even had the antlers tied to his body like pauldrons and bones fastened to the garment in different places as some sick kind of armor! The only thing that could be recognized as clothing was a tattered red cape that hung loosely over his shoulder. Disgusted to no end, she glanced at Luna, who looked completely unfazed by his repulsive clothes.

Luna regarded him with a friendly smile, forcing herself to drop her normal archaic dialect and pick up a more modern one. "Good day to you, sir! I am Princess Luna, and this is my partner, Twilight -"

"I know," the dog said, his deep baritone voice like a growl. Luna furrowed her brow for a split second.

"Ah, you were expecting us, no doubt." Her demeanor was still as cheery as ever, despite how she did not like to be interrupted like that. "Good, and to whom do we owe the pleasure?"

The dog didn't say anything at first; he just stood still and silent. His glowing yellow eyes seemed to pierce their skin and look into their very souls.

"'Kay then. Come," he said, and turned around, striding slowly down the path with those long legs of his. The two exchanged a glance and followed the dog, their metallic boots making crisp crunching noises as they trotted through the freshly fallen snow.

As they walked, Twilight couldn't help but notice several rectangular stone arches that stood over the beaten cobblestone walkway. They looked old, some crumbling, some mere piles of rubble, and all bearing a collection of odd hieroglyphic symbols etched in by hoof - or paw, in this city's case. Upon closer inspection, she recognized them as an old dialect of Growl, the diamond dog language. Unfortunately for her, she had never learned to read Growl, so whatever tidbits of ancient wisdom that the arches held remained unknown to her.

The silent dog lead them up a series of grand stone staircases, probably three ponies wide, winding up and down and through the rocky base of the mountain range. Looking up, she could finally get a decent glimpse of the mountain that the City of Bronze had been carved into. The monolith that was Mount Spearhead loomed above them, dwarfing all of its sibling mountains in the same way that Princesses Celestia and Luna dwarfed their subjects.

They passed more and more of these curious arches as the gates of Bog grew nearer. No two were alike in any way, and each one seemed to tell a longer story than the last. Perhaps they all collectively told a single tale? Twilight couldn't help it, the burning curiosity was getting the better of her.  What were these things even for, anyway? Those stone constructs were there for a reason.

Twilight galloped a few paces ahead of the black dog and gestured to the arches. "What are those?"

The dog gave her a cold and impartial look. "Wards.".

Wards? Wards were magic, magic used to keep things away. That meant the dogs under the mountain had things that they didn't want coming in. "What do they ward off?"

He waved a paw dismissively. "Bad things."

"Bad things like...?"

He shrugged. "Evil."

Twilight let a small grunt of frustration resonate within her throat. She might as well have been asking him about quantum temporal mechanics. She let her pace slow down until she once again trotted beside Luna. Twilight leaned in a little closer and whispered in her ear, "Who is this dog, anyway? He looks real shifty to me."

"We know not." Luna murmured back "We had simply assumed he was our guide, although guides do tend to act with more appropriate manners."

Twilight furrowed her brow. "Yeah, you're right. He could just be a stranger for all we--Woah."

Twilight had immediately forgotten what she wanted to say when she caught her first glimpse of what lay ahead - the gates of Bog.

It was an arch, but unlike the rectangular wards that they had passed through, this arch was smoothly curved like the top half of a chicken's egg. It melded flawlessly with the rough mountain into which it was hewn. A thousand years ago, the pure bronze gates by which the city had been named would have glittered and sparkled in the golden sunlight. Alas, all of those years of exposure to the elements has turned these gates a shade of greenish blue that was closer to the rock than the metal. More Growl hieroglyphics had been carefully etched into its rusted surface; thousands upon thousands of unrecognized words covered the entire structure.

Never before had Twilight seen old world architecture like this with her own two eyes. She had been blessed with the opportunity to see a piece of history up close and personal, a breathtaking experience for the newly minted alicorn. She felt the sheer age of the gate in her very bones. What untold wonders had this ancient building seen? Countless numbers of dogs and ponies alike must have passed through these doors. She struggled to imagine the  myriad of important events that had taken place in an area that a millennia ago, had been nothing more than a collection of tents and an alcove in the mountain.

The black dog stopped mid-stride and slowly turned around to face the two ponies. He smiled a wicked grin, revealing all of his long yellow canine teeth.

"Welcome to Bog."

Chapter Two: The Guide

City of Bronze

Chapter Two: The Guide

A vulgar smell filled the air.

Twilight Sparkle was reminded of her experience with Applejack's dog, Winona, as she walked her first steps in the City of Bronze. She had once agreed to help AJ to give her pet a much needed bath. Dogs tended to roll around in vile things to mask their scent from would-be prey, an instinct derived from years and years of evolution. Naturally, they had to be bathed every so often or they end up smelling like an overloaded dumpster behind a hayburger joint.

Winona hated taking a bath. She would thrash, snap, and yip at her master when that time of the month came. Catching the slippery mongrel was a pain, and dragging her into the tin tub of hot water was a nightmare.

Twilight vividly recalled the acrid scent when they had finally managed to restrain the howling beast and wash a week's worth of excrement and decaying animal out of her coat. She could've curled nose hairs twenty feet away with her stink. That was the same repulsive smell that filled the main chamber of Bog.

This room was nothing but solid rock and a few isolated systems of caves in the far-off days of yore. The chamber had to be dug up and carted out of the city piece by piece, one at a time. That was what the princess had read, anyway. She could hardly believe it, the painstaking process of making a single room was nearly unbelievable. The time that it would have taken...

The chamber was like the gargantuan Galloping Central Station back in the streets of Manehattan - but bigger. The ceiling must have been fifty feet high, with enough space for a skilled pegasus to comfortably fly around. It ended in an upside-down forest of stalactites, each one occasionally dropping a tiny bead of water into the head of some random passerby. As far as she could tell, the width of the place was four times greater than the aforementioned train station, crowded with boxy huts of stone and green bronze stacked together like foal's building blocks up to four stories high. The houses were nearly identical, save for a few random pieces of décor and several signs messily scrawled on with Growl. Twilight noticed how each sign was written in Equestrian as well, though they were all fraught with misspellings and grammatical errors."steelhamer blacksmit: good stabers for cheep" one read. Another said "hide and cloth cloths for studs and bitces."

The most prominent part was the chaotic mass of diamond dogs, of course. There were hundreds of tall, furry, bipedal creatures coming and going from all directions in huge groups. This main chamber was positively crowded with dogs to the point that it was impossible to take a single step in any direction without coming muzzle-to-waist with somepony, or rather somedog, in this case.

The entourage passed through a square that eerily resembled Ponyville's own. Dogs sat behind collapsible market stalls yelling out their wares in that incomprehensible language. Twilight nearly lost her light breakfast of dry wheat toast when she caught sight of one stall in particular. The female clerk was selling the dead flesh of fish by the pound and customers actually purchased it! Meat... she had read about it, she had been briefed by Celestia about it, but nothing on this green earth could have prepared her for it. All she could do was close her eyes, turn her head, and try to ignore the stomach-churning smell of flesh being cooked on a charcoal fire.

The alicorns stuck out like a sore hoof in Bog. Two ponies, one midnight blue and the other lavender, contrasted starkly with the sea of browns, blacks, and greys. Twilight was reminded of this fact every step of the way as each canine that they passed looked at them as if they had come from another world entirely. Some of them muttered amongst themselves in Growl with an occasional spattering of Equestrian, usually just "princess pony." All of them gave the mares a wide berth; whether it was from their diplomatic status or the deadly glares from their de facto guide, Twilight didn't know.

The streets were abuzz with activity as Bog's citizens ran through their daily routines like a colony of dutiful ants. Despite their great numbers, nearly all of the diamond dogs looked as distinctive from one another as ponies did. Twilight could easily identify each one by his or her breed which mirrored their four-legged counterparts. She could easily point out a schnauzer, a golden retriever, a dachshund, an Equestrian bulldog, as well as many other types that she couldn't even begin to count.

The three eventually pushed past the most active area, a stone's throw from the front gates, into a calmer and more residential area. The stench of a thousand wet dogs still hung in the air, but here it was toned down to tolerable levels. The chorus of chattering hounds had dulled to a murmur. In the center of it all was a babbling fountain, hewn from solid rock and lined with bronze, just like everything else in Bog. At this point, the tall black dog stopped the princesses.

"This is the spot," he said, opting to take a seat on the edge of the fountain.

"The spot for what?" Twilight asked.

The dog seemed to be staring at nothing, as if he were not paying any attention.

"Meeting."

"With whom are we meeting?" Luna inquired with a trace of irritation in her voice. This hound was not in the habit of explaining things very well.

 "Guide."

"I thought you were the guide," Twilight was growing equally tired of his speech patterns.

"I'm the bodyguard."

Luna gave an unladylike snort. "Ha! A bodyguard? We need no such thing. We have lived a thousand years entrapped upon an airless rock populated by beasts so vile that they could not be imprisoned anywhere in Equis. Any would-be foe in this city is no match for Twilight Sparkle and I. T'would be--"

"GLORY!" Luna's blatant bragging was cut short by a shrill, shrieking, almost maniacal laughter. "GLORY TO BIG-HIGH WAR GOD!"

The three instantly whirled around to lay eyes upon the source of the noise – a hunched-over diamond dog bursting from the shadows, racing forth on all fours.

"DEATH TO PONIES!"

Twilight had only caught a glimpse of this hound before it pulled a one-eighty and darted into a narrow alleyway. What little she saw of it was battered and bloody, with festering sores and fresh burns where there should have been fur.

"STRIP THE FLESH!" its gravelly voice echoed throughout the tight spaces, making it impossible to tell the direction from whence it came.

The black dog had reflexively put himself in between the princesses and where the crazed one had been. With a hiss of leather against steel, he had drawn a gleaming slender blade, held it at arm's-length, and took a defensive stance.

"SALT THE WOUND!"

Princess Luna joined her new bodyguard's side with her midnight wings flared and her horn aglow with silvery light.

"Stay behind us, mutt!" she barked at him. "T'would be unfortunate, should thou be caught in our crossfire." The diamond dog merely grunted and stood his ground, ignoring her. Luna whipped her head around to regard her partner, her eyes shining with the same brilliance as her horn. "That goes doubly for thou, Twilight Sparkle."

She couldn't help but shrink under the princess's white-hot gaze.

"Got it." Twilight knew better than to cross Luna when she's angry.

"COOK THE MEAT!" The dog's primal wailing made Twilight's hackles stand on end, accompanied by an icy shiver that ran its way down her spine.

"SILENCE, HEATHEN!" the princess roared so ferociously that Twilight was worried the entire mountain would shake apart on top of them.

"This is escalating very quickly!" Twilight shakily declared.

"EAT IT WHOLE!" This time, the dog leaped at them from a nearby rooftop, its rows of decaying fangs and sharp claws ready to meet equine flesh. Luna moved to intercept it, but the black dog was faster than her. The crazed mutt hadn't even landed when its exposed gut met a clenched fist. The bodyguard struck their assailant with enough force to send it flying almost a foot in a different direction. Twilight was pretty sure she heard the sickening sound of bones being broken.

With a whimper, the dog landed on his back, momentarily stunned... or so they thought. It recovered back to its feet with unnatural rapidity and scurried off, seeking refuge back in the shadows.

"TRY NOT KILL." It screamed "BIG-HIGH WAR GOD MAKE NOT DIE!"

"Enough of this! Cover your eyes!" With a mere wave if her horn, Luna had blasted everything in front of her with a wave of intense white light akin to that of a camera flash, but without any of its brevity. Both Twilight and the bodyguard shielded their eyes from the harsh spell. The power of that bit of simple light magic was so great that Twilight could still see the effects of the light through the crook of her leg.

It took only a moment for Twilight to blink away most of the floating colors that clouded her vision, but it would take much longer to regain her normal sight. Goodness... she was behind Luna when she cast the spell, the princess involuntarily shivered when she considered what could have happened to the poor sap who took the brunt of it.

Said sap was no longer hiding in the dark, Luna's spell, which had dulled down to the brightness of a lantern, had driven the darkness away. In the place of shadows, the spell left one ragged brown diamond dog curled up in the fetal position right in the middle of a cobblestone street. Its insane raving was replaced by an animalistic whimper of fear.

The three cautiously approached the pathetic pile of crying hound, with Luna in the lead. Their stalker appeared to be rendered harmless by the princess's light spell. It made no movements toward them as they drew nearer.

"Eyes!" It - no,he screamed. "Eyes gone!" He proceeded to rant and wail unintelligibly in Growl, not stopping his noise even when the three were upon him.

"Who...?" Twilight began to ask, but the words died in her mouth.

"Is that?" Luna finished, extinguishing her light.

"The guide." the black guard said gruffly.

"Can't see not but dark!" the scared dog continued. By now, this whole scene had attracted a small crowd of bystanders with its crazy screaming and bright lights. Dozens of dogs stood a healthy distance away as they looked to the four with great curiosity. Several of them peered out from their apartment windows while others stood just around the corner with their heads tentatively poking out. They chattered amongst themselves in a droning chorus of dog language. Twilight looked around. This was becoming quite a spectacle.

"The guide," Twilight echoed. "Why in the hoof would they pick a guide with as many screws loose as this guy?"

"Tis not likely that he had been this way for his entire life." Luna said in a monotone, creeping up to him to get a close and personal look.

"Oh...right."

"Mmm-hmm." the bodyguard agreed.

"Is blind! Is blind!"

"Oh, cease thine excessive bellyaching." the night princess chided. She prodded him lightly with a hoof. "Tis not permanent."

"NOT TOUCH US!" he returned with a snarl. "BIG-HIGH WAR GOD SMASH PONIES!"

"War god..." Twilight felt a lump form in her throat as she said those two words. "War is one thing. War god is something else entirely. One is bad news, the other is bad,bad news."

"This does not bode well."

"No kidding." Bodyguard drawled.

"BIG-HIGH WAR GOD SAY PONIES DIE. WE KILL PONIE--!" The mad dog was made silent in an instant when Luna firmly planted a hoof on his throat. The pressure wasn't enough to choke him, but just barely sufficient to silence the raving hound, save for some mildly unsettling gurgling noises that didn't sound at all like he could breathe very well.

"Nopony shall die today whilst I still stand on mine own four hooves. Neither by thy paw or by the paw of thine god. Is that clear?" She eased up a little for him to be able to speak his affirmative. The dog instead sucked in a wholly unnatural amount of phlegm from his sinuses and spat it back out, sending it sailing through the short distance between their faces and hitting Luna square between the eyes with a wet splat.

"Eww!" Twilight said.

"Yeah, ew." Bodyguard said.

For the longest time, nopony moved, nopony spoke, nopony blinked, nopony dared breathe. Even the sizeable mass of onlookers hadn't the courage to do or say anything. They merely stood silent and still, waiting for what was to come next.

Luna, to the amazement of her partner, slowly pulled away from the dog beneath her, who had burst into a mad giggling. Her face was as calm  and collected as Twi had ever seen it, but her eyes...oh, her eyes. They were bursting with a fiery rage so hot and furious that she could have boiled the eastern sea with a single glare. Her insides trembled, but her body was still. It was only the many years of diplomatic experience under her metaphorical belt that kept the princess of the night from turning this dog into a fine paste.

The gooey greenish loogie slowly slogged its way down her muzzle and eventually dripped off the tip of her nose and on to the ground with another splat that Twilight swore could have been heard throughout the city.

Luna was not angry, nor was she mad. She wasn't even miffed. Only one sentence in the entirety of the Equestrian language could ever do this situation justice.

Luna was livid.

"Twilight Sparkle," she said, her words as empty and emotionless as a barren desert.

"Um, yes?"

"Thou art an intelligent pony." she said as if stating that the sky were blue. "Canst thou find one reason for us not to beat this mongrel into submission?"

"Uhhmmm..." Twilight hesitated. There was no telling what the princess would do in that volatile state. She wasn't even sure if  Luna knew what Luna was going to do next. "May-beeee-- He could, uh, have information?"

"Thou stated that as if it were a question." she said with no audible inflection in her voice, turning to look her partner dead in the eyes. The ball of phlegm had left a sticky trail in its foul wake. Twilight tried not to stare at it.

"I did. Okay then..." Uh oh. Here it comes. Twilight had prepared to encounter a few bumps on the way to working things out, but nothing like this. "He can tell us who this "big-high war god" is. And stuff." Her voice was as small an squeaky as that of a mouse. Twilight flinched away from her partner, preparing her ears for the infamous Royal Canterlot Voice.

It never came.

Luna wordlessly closed her eyes, took in a deep breath through her mouth, and let it out through her nose. "Correct. This dog needs to be questioned." She regarded the still unnamed bodyguard. "Let us move this somewhere-" The princess inclined her head at the wide-eyed gaggle of spectators "-more private. I believe that whatever this one has to say to us would be better unheard by the ears of the commoners."

The dog gave her a single curt nod, then beckoned the two to follow him further into the bowels of Bog.

"Oh, and could somepony please find us a moist towelette."

Tunnels.

The vast marketplace cavern was merely a nexus for Bog, a single room to conduct the entire city's local commerce. What made up the real City of Bronze was its tunnel system. The claustrophobic five foot-by-six tunnels numbered in the thousands and stretched out for nearly a mile in all directions, like the roots of a tree - or rather, the roots of a mountain.

They all led on and on, twisting and turning like a snake that had caught itself in a knot. Each one appeared nearly identical to the last, the only differences were in the length of each hall and the unreadable language scrawled on overhangs. Unlike in the marketplace, there wasn't a single letter of proper Equestrian to be found.

Peeking through the rudimentary windows in each of the heavy stone doors that lined the walls, the princesses could see that the rooms were not as uniform as the halls. Each one seemed to have a  purpose to it. Most looked like bedrooms and living rooms, their walls lined with all manner of things that one would find in the home of a dog; beds covered in animal hides, crude bronze and stone furniture, yellowed pieces of paper with things drawn upon them that could have passed for art, macabre lanterns made from the bones of long-dead creatures, few of them held cases sparsely filled with ragged scrolls; everything that a diamond dog needed to live.

Some other rooms looked to be places of industry. They saw workshops filled with expertly forged steel tools and the craftsdogs that made them, kitchens littered with utensils that were stained with the blood of some horned beast, several classrooms inhabited by groups ofbreathtakingly adorable wide-eyed pups and the elderly teachers that shepherded them, as well as one or two storage rooms filled with nothing but wooden crates and barrels.

Twilight also noticed a single room with a red cross hanging over the door, the universal sign of medical facilities. The inside of it barely passed for such. It was merely a place with several mildly clean beds and a set of "precision" surgical  tools that probably wouldn't pass a health inspection, if they even had those things in Bog. The whole city must have been a hundred years behind the rest of the world, infirmaries like this would have been an atrocity in modern day Equestria. Twilight tried not to cringe when she thought of what would happen to dogs that wind up in that room.

The alicorns idly stared at the greenish bronze gilding that lined the corners as their wordless bodyguard led them around seemingly random turns with the yowling scarred dog casually slung over his shoulder.

Twilight nudged her partner in the shoulder, who had been silently rubbing her face the entire trip. "Hey." she murmured.

Luna blinked a few times as she had been pulled from her deep thoughts. "Twilight?"

"I didn't think you'd keep so cool back there."

Luna scoffed indignantly and rolled her eyes in a manner that one would expect of a teenager. "We are thousands of years old, We have before wallowed in blood and filth many a time in the fields of battle. What didst thou expect of us?"

Twilight made a sound mimicking a large explosion.

"Then thou art sorely mistaken. No amount of bodily fluid could cause us to lose control of our temper."

"Well, you looked pretty red in the face to me."

"Pah! T'was a trick of the light."

"Sure."

The three continued on in silence.

Twilight tried to make a mental log of each turn that they made, should she need to find her way back in case of emergency. This was not something she did normally, but the crazed dog was a reminder that they weren't in the warm and safe comfort of Equestria any more.

It went left, left, right, left, right, right right, left, right, left left, right (wait, that last one was actually a left) left right-- No, left again! Right, right, left...

"Horseapples!" She hissed under her breath. Twilight had lost mental track of the path. How far did these tunnels even go? Well, they should be okay as long as they had a guide-- preferably not an insane one.

It took them a good ten minutes of traveling through the labyrinth until the four came upon their destination. Naturally, the door to said room looked exactly like all of its brethren, save for the slight variations on the unreadable sign.

The solid stone door made a terrible grinding noise as the dog easily pushed it open. Twilight did a double-take at it as she followed him in. The granite slab that tried to pass as a door must have been two inches thick and seven feet high, weighing more than several fully grown ponies. This city had clearly been designed to cater to one race and one race only because Twilight was sure that she could give herself a hernia trying to open one of those without magic.

Once inside, Twilight gasped. The first thing in the room that caught the princesses' eyes was the collection of several menacing wrought iron cages large enough to fit a single diamond dog in each one. They sat off to the far side, stacked together like the houses from earlier, only these went two stories til they hit the ceiling. Some of them were occupied by dogs that bore a striking resemblance to their attacker. It was mainly the fresh wounds and puss-filled yellow burns that stood out. Their fur had been matted into clumps where blood and other bodily fluids had dried and scabbed over.

Just as quickly as the two saw the dogs, the dogs saw them. The mass of wounds and fur savagely beat their whole bodies against the cages, all the while snarling and barking like a wild wolf tied to a tree. A white foamy froth gathered at the corners of their mouths and dripped on to the floor.

Twilight couldn't bear to look at them for too long, for fear she might heave from the sight of this grotesque scene, but nothing she did could stop her from becoming as pale as a piece of paper. She instead focused on the much less disturbing image of the idle dog with a tattered crimson red scarf that lay lazily in a hammock set up between two empty cages on the other end of the room.

Princess Luna only spared a glance or two at the prisoners. She had spoken of her time with the diamond dogs before, and Twilight wondered if was a sight so common in diamond dog settlements that the princess had grown accustomed to it? Perhaps was it her nerves of steel that kept her from gasping as her partner had. Twilight hoped it was the latter.

"Hod!" The bodyguard almost literally barked. In response, the sleeping dog, apparently named Hod, yelped and rolled out of the hammock onto the floor with a dull thud.

Hod hastily scrambled to his feet, almost tripping on his own scarf in the process. He then made some kind of gesture at the bodyguard; his right paw curled into a fist and was brought to his chest. It must have been some kind of salute.

"Sir!" His voice was obnoxiously high-pitched.

"Go get Alpha."

The scarved dog raised his bushy eyebrows."But Oak, Alpha say don't bug him unless it important."

The bodyguard bared his teeth and his face contorted into an ugly snarl. "It is." He adjusted the dog over his shoulder. "We've got another foamer."

"Okay okay, Hod go now." With his tail between his legs, the dog slinked off out of the room, only pausing to give the same salute to the princesses.

The bodyguard gave a satisfied nod as the door closed behind them. He then proceeded to unceremoniously throw their would-be attacker into one of the cells and slam the cage door shut with a loud clatter. After all was unsaid and done, he threw himself into the hammock and put his paws behind his head.

"So, uhh..." Twilight began, but her words failed her. So many questions crept across her mind, but she had only the ability to ask one at a time; which one was would be first?

Princess Luna beat her to it. "What in the blazes is going on with this city?!" She all but screamed, barely restraining her Royal Canterlot Voice.

In response, the bodyguard chose to lazily swing in the hammock without a word. He seemed to be off in a world that was all his own.

"Well?!"

He cracked one eye open. "Want an answer?"

Her nostrils flared like that of a bull seeing red."We would love one, if it pleases your highness!"

The dog calmly adjusted himself in the rope to sit upright and gave the two a shrug. "Uh-unno."

"Luna," Twilight stepped forward and put a hopefully reassuring hoof on her shoulder "please calm dow--"

The night princess whipped her head around and fixed an icy stare at the smaller alicorn. "Thou had better not be telling us to calm down!"

Twilight shrunk back a little, but held her ground against the ancient ruler of the night. At times the princess had the disposition of a sleeping bear, and she believed it was normally best to not prod that metaphorical bear with a sharp stick unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Look," Twilight had to chose her words carefully "we can yell at the socially awkward dog all day if you want, but you also wanted to interrogate our prisoner. So why don't you let all that anger out on him, okay? He's a little more important right now."

Luna gave her friend a half-hearted glare. "We hate it when thou art such a wearer of the smart pants."

"You mean smarty pants?"

"Is that not what We had just said? It matters not, We have not had ourselves a decent interrogation in quite a long while, and we would jump at the chance to to pull all of the valuable information from this hound's feeble skull. Let us get to it!"

"You can sound really scary when you want to, you know that right?"

"We do."

Without further adieu, the night princess sashayed toward the cage, her body language instantly melting away from the rigidity of anger to the smoother movements of a much calmer demeanor. Twilight found it fascinating how somepony who was the very picture of rage an instant ago could turn around everything from her tone of voice to her subtle body language on a whim.  She had become a whole new pony with a completely different personality.

"Nooooww..." Luna droned at the dog, drawing uncomfortably close to the cell. "We can't question thou properly without knowing thy name."

"PONY EYES LOOK TASTY!" the remnants of a guide screamed in response, lurching forward to claw the face of his interrogator. It missed her by merely an inch.

"We doth not believe that to be thy name," She said, dryly.

A barely audible chuckle escaped the bodyguard's lips. "Don't waste your time."

"Why not?" Twilight asked. "I'm sure he can remember his own name."

The dog gave Twi a queer look, as if she had said something that he found completely idiotic. "He used to have a name. Doesn't anymore."

"And what," Luna said with another roll of the eyes "in the name of the silvery moon does that mean."

"Foam took it."

"Foam?" asked Twilight.

"Rabies." Luna answered for the dog. "A horrid disease that ran rampant in the past. It degrades the mind of any who are sick with it; quickly eating away at one's sanity and causing the infected to desecrate their own flesh. They have no problem desecrating the flesh of others as well. Hence the hostility."

Luna went on, giving the bodyguard the stink eye. "If We recall correctly, a cure for that plague had been invented a thousand years past. We pray that Bog's government has seen fit to administer this cure to these dogs." She made a sweeping gesture to the dozen or so rabid prisoners. "Equestria and the Crystal Empire would look down upon thy leader with disdain for not distributing it fairly."

The dog grunted dismissively. "We did."

"Then why art these poor mongrels afflicted?"

"Cure didn't work."

Luna opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but the words didn't come. She hesitated for scarcely a moment, her eyes going wider than she meant them to.

"Preposterous! The cure was meant to destroy all forms of rabies, not just isolated breeds. There is no reason why anypony on this continent would be afflicted after drinking the cure tonic! Those dogs should not be rabid!"

"Rabid dogs don't rave about gods of war." Twilight added.

Luna cocked an eyebrow at her partner. "Art thou suggesting that the cause wasdivine?"

Twilight returned that eyebrow. "Got any better theories?"

 "Aye!" she snapped. "There hath been nary a--" Princess Luna stopped herself, eyeing the dog with suspicion. She motioned for Twilight to come within whispering distance. She obliged and was pulled into a two-mare huddle.

"There hath been nary a god who would be brave enough to set hoof upon Equestria in eons!" She hissed into her ear. "We shall speak of them no more."

"Oh come on!" Twilight whispered back. "Celestia refuses to even talk to me about the gods from ancient history! What is so bad about knowing just a little bit m--"

"We see that thou hast spent far too much of thine spare time in the Royal Archives! When We say that We shall speak of it no more, then not a word more shall be uttered."

Luna broke the huddle and regarded the dog with that silky voice once again. "Now, where were we? Ah yes, thy name please."

"MEEEEEEEAT!" he cried in glee, taking another swipe at the princesses.

"Then we shall call thee Meat."

"I don't think that's his real name." Twilight chimed in.

"It will have to suffice. Tell us, Mister Meat, who is this "big-high war god" that thou screamest thy lungs out for?"

Twilight would have liked to think that she saw a glimmer of intelligence, understanding, and civility in Meat's eyes when Luna asked him that question. Alas, all she saw was madness. Something had a firm grasp on this dog, but she didn't think that something was a mere disease. The insanity that had gripped his mind could not be natural.

"Big-high War God..." he said, his voice suddenly lowering to a little louder than a whisper. "...is ever-thing."

"I believe you mean "ever-ey-thing," right?" Twilight had very little tolerance for improper grammar, and this dog could have driven her over the edge with a single sentence.

"Is rocks," the dog went on, ignoring the princess "is dirt, is air, is cage, is ponies, is dogs,  is you, is...is me." Meat continued to ramble and rave in garbled Equestrian, but eventually slipped back into his own native tongue. His speech was going a mile a minute, his words were unintelligible to even one who spoke Growl. He had lapsed into incoherent noises, curling into the fetal position and rocking back and forth like a scared child.

"Meat," Luna said, lightly waving her hoof at him. "Please focus on us. We've much to discuss."

He paid her no mind, completely enthralled by his own thoughts.

She impatiently rapped on the cage with a silver-clad hoof. "Meat!"

No response.

"To Tartarus with it!" Luna broke character, letting her normal irate self come through. "We've lost him. We don't believe that he will speak to us at all." She shook her head in disappointment. "Twilight, you may be correct about the cause of this dog's insanity. While it may not be divine, it doth not originate from nature; tis an outside force that drives him mad."

Twilight spared another look at the blabbering hound, trying to hold her nerve together. "What could cause this? Dark magic?"

"No magic is truly dark, Twilight." Luna corrected. "Tis the will of the user that is corrupt. But aye, We think the sickness to be arcane, perhaps the work of a demon. They do have quite a fondness for the weak-minded, and this city has no shortage of those."

The purple alicorn forcefully swallowed a lump in her throat. "Demons....wonderful."

"Oh, look not so pale, Twilight. Tis nothing to be afraid of!" Luna was oddly cheery. "Most demons that pose as all-powerful gods are too weak to do their own bidding, that is why they have their underlings."

Then Luna looked away as a thought came to her head. "Though, hallucination is a side effect of rabies, and that would probably mean that the war god could be a figment of Meat’s fever dreams. If that proves true, then Bog could be dealing with a plague demon due to the sudden incurable ailment. Those are deadly on their own, but still quite a thrill to vanquish hoof-to-claw. Though, We did not think to bring any holy weaponry with us on this mission of peace. Let us pray that it is  something as easily defeated as a thrall demon."

"Yeah, let's..." Twilight murmured. "I thought we came here to settle a trade disagreement, not to go off saving the city from demons." She gave off an exasperated sigh, followed by a humorless chuckle. "Things like this do tend to follow us around wherever we go, don't they?"

The night princess laughed. "Ha ha! Tis the truth, my dear friend. Even to the great white plains of the north, destiny still follows you and I."

"I bet it does." A new voice sounded from behind the two, this one was mellow, confident, and youthful.

The two turned to see a diamond dog whose looks did not at all fit his voice. He was a lumbering hulk of a dog, almost two and a half ponies wide, standing so tall the his ears brushed the top of the doorway when he marched inside. This dog was clearly an albino, with eyes like glossy cherries and fur like the snow that blanketed the mountain. His facial features resembled a schnauzer, with bushy eyebrows and a short hanging beard that grew from his jaw. He sort of reminded Twilight of a snow troll, big and muscular. She silently hoped that he did not have the manners of such a beast.

"Ah, and who art thou?" Luna asked.

He didn't answer at first, the albino merely laughed merrily, as if he were sharing a joke with a friend. "Doh ho ho! S'cuse my manners, but it's been a long time since I've met somebody that didn't know who I was at first glance. You probably know already that we don't have a whole lot of ponies around these parts. I only see my diamond dog friends most days."

"Then you are the Alpha!" She said with great relief, forcing herself to drop the archaic diction. "Before we begin, I feel obligated to tell you that my colleague and I may have discovered the presence of a possible plague demon in you city."

"So that's what's causing the foam? Huh." The Alpha said, stroking his beard with a claw, a thoughtful look upon his face. "Thank the heavens that the tonic didn't stop working, else we'd be up to our necks in dead bodies and plague victims. But a demon? Hmm. Bog has set up defenses for that kind of stuff. We aren't 'zactly the masters of magic up here, not like you ponies and your unicorns, but something as bad as a real live mother-humpin' hellspawn should set off all kinds'a warning spells."

"Sorry for the lack of formal introductions and stuff." The dog went on. "You were s'posed to take a tour of all the nicer places in Bog before we all had a sit-down to talk about this trade thing, but uh, well--" he pointed a claw at ex-tour guide curled up in the corner, intently sucking his thumb "--looks like your guide caught a little case of crazy."

"Is there anything we can do to help him?" Twilight spoke up. "I mean, I'm pretty good with magic. If the disease is magical instead of natural, I might be able to find a cure."

"Hah!" The albino snorted mirthfully. "Good with magic! I already know whoyou are, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you saved Equestria--Like, what was it?--five times. The people of Bog might seem cut off from the world, but some of us still follow current events. And I'll tell ya, your name comes upa lot."

Twilight's cheeks flared. "Well, I had the help of my friends. They saved Equestria just as much as I did..." She was becoming used to being called a princess, but she wasn't prepared for receiving praise for things she didn't have all that much of a hoof in. Did everypony really think that she was the one responsible for defeating all of those villains? The media these days...

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, we haven't been properly introduced." The Alpha struck a rather dramatic pose. "I am Alpha MaleArrel Whitefur, of the clan Whitefur. Yeah, we're all albinos, in case you haven't guessed by the name."

"Charmed." Luna said. "And I am Princess Luna of Equestria." She extended a hoof toward the diamond dog. Without a single grimace or flinch, she allowed Arrel to take the hoof in his paw andlick it. It was the canine equivalent of kissing a fair maiden's hoof. She calmly retracted it and wiped the excess saliva off when the dog wasn't looking.

"I, ah, am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria. Uhm..." Twilight leaned and whispered into Luna's ear. "Do I have to let him lick my hoof?"

"He will not have to lick your hoof if you wish to greet him in the traditional manner of the diamond dog."

"Oh, well how do I do that?"

"Tell me, Twilight, how do the four-legged dogs normally greet one another?"

"That's easy; they would just sniff each other's-- Ohkaynevermind."

"Problem?" Arrel asked.

Twilight went as rigid as a board. "None at all!" she said with a smile that was alittle too wide to be believable. She tentatively inched her hoof closer to the Alpha, trying not to look so reluctant.

With a roll of his eyes, Arrel took her hoof and gave it a brief lick. His wet tongue was slimy like an eel, and warm on her fur. She thanked the stars that it had been brief, and cursed herself for being so squeamish in front of what could be considered the most powerful diamond dog in Equestria.

"Welp," Arrel said, clasping his hands together. "I'm sure that all of this craziness has you ladies beat. Plus, I'd don't want you to stand in this room full of diseased dogs any more than you should. You want Oak here to escort you to your rooms?"

"Oak?" Twilight asked."Who is that?"

Arrel face contorted into a look of confusion. "What'doya mean? He's right over th--" he pointed the the snoozing bodyguard dog. "Oh don't tell me he didn't tell you his name? Huh, that's just like him. That raggedy bastard over there is namedOakfang. He's the damned captain of the Hellhounds; that's the city watch."

He stomped over to the hammock and poked Oakfang with a claw. "Hey, Oak! Get your lazy antisocial ass up and take these bitches to their rooms."

"Did he just call us--?!"

 "We are not sure. Hush."

The dog grumbled something in Growl and slipped out of the ropes. He cracked his back and barely even glanced at the towering Alpha, choosing to walk right past him and to the mares.

"Come." he said.

The princesses shared a quick look and followed Oakfang out of the room. Twilight was last to exit, she paused for a moment to see that Arrel had elected to stay behind. He had his back turned; the princess thought that she could hear him talking in hushed tones to Meat. Poor dog... she felt sad for him. Nopony should have to be the victim of something as terrible as rabies. She couldn't even imagine what the Alpha was feeling as he had to witness his subjects in such a state.

With her heart a little heavier, she slipped out to catch up with Oak and Luna.

"You've got some perfect damn timing, V." Arrel Whitefur said to the rabid dog with a barely restrained growl.

The so-called guide looked up to his Alpha in confusion. "Our name not--GYAH!"

Without any warning at all, Meat's entire body seized up like he had been hit with a powerful electric shock. All four of his limbs flailed wildly as he wailed and whimpered, as if he trying to strike a foe that simply was not there. It was like watching someone having a horrifying nightmare that they could not wake from. Arrel absolutely hated it when V did that.

Then at once the dog went as limp as a noodle, his wet tongue hanging comically out of his mouth. After a moment, he lifted his head and spoke. "You know that I can't pass up an opportunity to toy with you, White One." His voice was the same, but the crazed words and the grave tone was gone, replaced by one much smoother and calmer.

Arrel should have known better than to bare his teeth when he spoke to V, but he couldn't resist the natural urge. "You justhad to let one of your crazies loose today of all days."

"Mmmm..." he hummed thoughtfully. "No, not really. But why not put a little challenge in to the princesses' visit? It's been awfully dull playing my games with your dimwitted brethren. I just needed some challenging opponents, that's all."

"But what purpose did that even serve?!" He all but screamed. "Now they know you're here, and they'll be looking. If this gets any further, it's all gonna blow back on me, and Ido not want to piss off Equestria's royalty more than I already have with this embargo shit."

 "Relax," The possessed dog said in a rather serene tone. "If you do exactly what I say, then you won't end up with an army at your doorstep, I promise. Cross my cold heart and hope to, ah,die."

"Fine," Arrel grumbled. "But if the Equestrians even think I hadanything to do with this--"

"They won't."

Chapter Three: The Dinner

City of Bronze

Chapter Three: The Dinner

Twilight Sparkle was a foreigner.

Anypony with a measurable IQ score who observed the princess long enough could understand that simple fact. Bog and its canine inhabitants had little in common with the equine nations to the south, and customs differ greatly between them. Where ponies value friendship and love, diamond dogs value honor and strength. The dog that has the hardest life gains the most respect, and it clearly reflects in the way they keep their homes. Her supposedly lavish guest chamber was spartan in design and decoration. It housed nothing more than a rough wooden cabinet, a few shelves, a nightstand, and a bed made from cold grey stone covered in animal pelts.

Twilight's back was killing her. She was much too reluctant to make prolonged contact with the flesh and hair of what once was a living being, so the only thing she had to rest on was the smooth slab of rock that could hardly pass for a bed after she swept the furs to the side.

It was her own fault for being squeamish. She had to admit that they were quite soft, but not so soft that she throws her disgust out of the metaphorical window. Twilight needed some quiet time to reflect upon the day's events. It wouldn't she be long until she was called to the banquet that was to be held that evening. The lack of proper bedding did nothing to quiet the storm that was brewing in her head.

Hundreds of questions raced through Twilight's mind; questions like "Why would a demon choose to send some weak ex-guide like Meat to attack two powerful alicorns?", "What does it want with a city full of dogs?", and "How are we supposed to fix the trade issue with a something like that on the loose?" Those three in particular were at the forefront of her thoughts.

Of course, after a day as stressful on the body and mind as that one had been, "When's dinner?" was a common reoccurring thought. The empty space in her stomach definitely agreed with the less than empty space in her head. In fact, she was starved. With nothing much to occupy herself, Twilight could not help but let her mind wander toward food. She could've really gone for a nice big and greasy quarter pound hayburger. Princess-like behavior and expectations be damned, fast food still tasted like heaven.

Naturally, thoughts only got her so far. It was not long before she pried open the granite door with her magic and asked the guard stationed outside when dinner will be served.

"Dinner soon." Hod, the meek guard from the prison, answered.

"Okay," she replied "what time will that be?"

"Dinner soon." he echoed.

Why did these dogs have to be so difficult all the time? "Yes, I understand that, but what time, as in on a clock, will that be?"

"What is clock?"

She let out a long and loud groan of frustration. Why was she so surprised that diamond dogs couldn't tell time? It was like she was talking to a bunch of caveponies. So far only Oakfang and the Alpha had shown signs of having an average intellect, but she had yet to meet a dog she could call "smart."

It was better not to know anyway. If she were to know the exact time, she would just stare at the nonexistent clock restlessly until said time came. Watching seconds tick by one by one was not something she could find very entertaining.

Without any possible form of diversion to pass the minutes, Twilight elected to crawl back on to the bed and meditate until dinner. Zecora had taught her a particularly effective form about year before when Ponyville was turned upside-down by Trixie. She hadn't had a good meditation session since then.

Getting into the right position was a pain at best and a nightmare at worst. It involved her standing on not three, not two, but one hoof only. She hadn't practiced since before she earned her wings so they threw her off-balance. It took a few tries and a new bruise on her hind leg for her to find the best position.

Balance was what that form of mediation was all about. She recalled Zecora words "Balance between the six is what you must find if you wish to clear the fog that clouds your mind." Or something like that. It rhymed, so it must have been right.

Of course, by "the six" she meant the six basic aspects that the entirety of modern magic was based upon. Fire, water, earth, air, order, and entropy: she had learned the meaning and use of all of them in magic kindergarten. In her mind's eye, she lined up all of the aspects in a perfect six pointed star, each one in its correct position. She concentrated on only that image and nothing more. She had to pour all of her focus into it, lest her thoughts betray her and veer off in an unrelated direction as minds tend to do.

Soon the whole world melted away into oblivion. There was nothing but the six; not the floor beneath her, not the walls that surrounded her, not the permanent chill that seemed to permeate all of Bog, and especially not the troubles that ran her brain ragged. It was merely her and the elements. She had found balance, and in balance she found inner peace.

Of course when somepony was hyper-focused on a single simple concept, high-pitched loud noises tended to yank him or her from meditation like a fish on a hook from its watery home. That was exactly what happened to Twilight.

"Wow!"

At once Twilight lost the balance that she worked so hard to achieve. Anything that was not nailed to the floor came crashing down after being released from the telekinetic grip that held it suspended in the air. The wooden furniture splintered, the stone bed split in two, and the numerous furs were sent flying in all directions. Twilight flopped helplessly to the floor.

She pulled herself up and brushed the stands of frazzled mane from her eyes. Standing before her was the dumbfounded expression of Hod, his mouth agape like a venus flycatcher and a stray pelt hanging limply over his shoulder. He locked eyes with the princess for brief moment before turning around and shouting "Hey, Oak, look at this!"

A moment later Mr. Tall, Dark, and Quiet- more commonly known as Oakfang -was standing in the doorway. Oak let out a low whistle of appreciation. "You really know how to trash a room." He dryly observed.

"Aww, it gone!" Hod lamented. "Princess pony have shiny wavy hair and glowy eyes but it gone. Why princess pony stop?"

"I- I did?" Twilight stammered. Shiny wavy hair? "Well that's new." It was a gross understatement, but nonetheless true. Celestia had said that her body would undergo changes to accommodate for her new alicorn magic, she just didn't expect them to be so soon! Though, she was surely a long way from towering over everypony and sporting an undulating magic mane as Celestia and Luna did.

"Whatever." Oakfang said. He beckoned Twilight to follow. "Dinnertime."

Twilight, Princess Luna, and five red-scarved Hellhounds led by Oakfang marched down the narrow hallways like a small parade. Alpha Arrel had apparently amped up their bodyguards after the incident with Meat. Thankfully, no crazed assailants came at them.

The group turned a few heads as they entered the full dining hall, but nothing more. Nobody stood up, nobody announced their entrance with blaring brass horns, nobody seemed to care much. It was another little detail that set Bog apart from the rest of the world. The diamond dogs had little use for such ceremony, they prefered practicality over aesthetic nine times out of ten. It was a breath of fresh air to the two alicorns who had been to many formal dinners that dragged on forever with ceremonies and announcements. It usually took ages before any food was served.

The dining hall, like most everywhere else in The City of Bronze, was plainly decorated. Unlike most other rooms, it had a fairly high arched ceiling that partially relieved Twilight's sense of claustrophobia. Stretching the length of the hall was a grand dining table carved from raw granite, gilded with bronze, and covered with a ragged burlap sheet as a tablecloth. Over two dozen dogs sat at either side, merrily conversing with one another over their empty bronze plates and silverware. At the head of the table at the end of the room sat Arrel Whitefur in an iron seat that was equally as big for a chair as he was for a diamond dog. It could have passed for a throne.

Arrel's ruby eyes spotted the entourage from across the room. "Ah, my new pony friends!" He declared.  "C'mere, we were just about to get this started." He gestured to the three empty seats near him.

Twilight took the seat closest to the Alpha, Luna sat right next to her, and Oakfang directly across from the two. The other guards went off and claimed random spots in the midsection.

"Care for some bognog? Best stuff in the house." Arrel offered the princesses a clay pitcher filled with some murky green liquid.

Twilight had been to enough foreign gatherings to know not to refuse the first time someone offers her something to drink. Some people really, really take their alcohol seriously. "Yes, thank you."

The "bognog" poured from the pitcher into the silver chalice like oil. She scooted the hooch to Luna, who then poured herself a glass as well. Twilight sloshed the stuff around in her cup and took a deep whiff if it. She didn't smell much, maybe a hint of rubbing alcohol and that was it.

Throwing caution to the wind, she telekinetically lifted the glass up to her lips.

Luna put a firm hoof on her shoulder and murmured "Be careful, Twilight. We have had drink like this before, Twas a strong one indeed."

Twilight took an experimental sip, thinking Oh, please,  how bad can it--

"Urk!" She immediately spit it back into the cup.

It was bad.

"We told thou such."

"Ha ha!" The alpha barked, pounding his fist on the table and shaking his silverware like an earthquake.  "Equestria's greatest hero can't even handle a little nog 'fore dinner. 'Course, this stuff does taste like shit, so I don't blame ya. But hey, we don't have much to make booze out of up here. We have to improvise."

"Anyway," Arrel turned away and yelled "Burntmeat! Where in Tartarus is that lazy bitch? C'mere, pup!"

A wiry female diamond dog with a fluffy white fur like a poodle appeared from behind Arrel's sizable throne and irritably asked in Growl "What do you want, Alpha? Make it fast, all the kitchen dogs are too damn busy making dinner."

"Get our guests a bottle of that purple stuff." he replied in the same tongue.

"The purple stuff is a pup's drink! The ponies don't want any bognog?"

"No!" he snarled, flashing her a set of pale yellow fangs. Twilight noted how Burntmeat didn't even blink, whereas any common equine facing down such a beast would have messed themselves.

"Fine!" The dog said in Equestrian and threw her paws in the air. "Burntmeat go get some purple stuff since ponies too good to drink nog." She turned around and sauntered out of the room past a set of old west-styled doors.

Burntmeat returned a moment later with a pair of fresh goblets clutched in one paw and a brown glass bottle in the other. She set them on the table and did a face-heel turn back to the kitchen, sparing the princesses a leer on her way.

"The purple stuff might be more your speed, Twilight Sparkle." Arrel said.

Twilight was more cautious with this one. She user her magic to uncork the bottle and gave it a tentative whiff. The scent of it was oddly familiar somehow...wait.

"Wine!" Twilight exclaimed. "Oh thank the sun and stars, it's only wine." She greedily poured a glass and drank. The wine was quite sweet and left a mellow aftertaste. It was undoubtedly Equestrian.

"Drink as much as you like." Arrel said. "We've got plenty of it to go around. Most dogs don't like the fruity taste of- what did you call it? Wine? Got a whole rack of the stuff in the kitchen when that smooth-talking trader pony passed through 'bout a year ago."

"It was a good thing he did, too. To be honest, Alpha, I really hated that bognog stuff. It was less alcohol, more paint remover." That comment in any other dining hall anywhere else in the world would have shocked offended many, many people, but she felt that diamond dogs wouldn't care if she bashed their crappy drinks. They didn't seem to be easily offended.

It turned out that she was right. Arrel laughed loudly, his booming voice echoing through ought the hall. "Oh, you're a funny one, Twilight. I always thought that all Equestrians had a stick shoved so far up their holes that the didn't know what humor was! Look's like that's just Celestia's deal alone, Gods bless her soul."

For the first time since passing through the gates of Bog, Twilight legitimately smiled. She was beginning to warm up to the City of Bronze. It seemed to her that the line between royal and not royal was much fuzzier a hundred feet below the earth. The dogs seemed to treat each other equally there. Even the humblest of chefs could speak to her leader like he was another working dog. It was the same way that all the diamond dogs treated Twilight as well; not as some important diplomat, but as a common tourist.

Looking out at the dozens of dogs gathered at the dining table, she couldn't help but see how happy they were as they sang drinking songs and laughed with one another. If Twilight didn't know better, she'd say that they were one big family. The way that they all got along was uncanny. She was reminded of her fillyhood with her own family on the nights when they'd all sit around the table, eat cheese, and play board games together. They looked so jolly.

...right up until the food was served. Forty diamond dogs whipped their heads around the moment that Burntmeat burst forth from the kitchen with a squeaky iron serving cart that could have be ten feet long, loaded with all manner of canine dishes. Then the entire group burst into a cacophony of unintelligible cheering,  barking, and howling as dinner was wheeled up in the table.

The trays of food were emptied as soon as they hit the table. Dozens of sets of paws clamored for a piece of the prize with Burnmeat and the other kitchenpaws fighting just to keep from spilling the food in the floor - not that it would have mattered to the diners.

As soon as the food was -more or less- evenly distributed amongst the dogs, the eating began. The dogs stuffed morsel after morsel into their gaping maws. Meat, boiled carrots, baked potatoes, loaves of bread, meat, grilled leeks, wagon wheels of cheese, meat, meat, and many different kinds of meat. So much to choose from and the dogs ate with indiscretion.

"My my," Luna shouted over the chorus of gleeful noises "you subjects are quite an excitable lot!"

Arrel turned to her and cocked an eyebrow. "They are? Seems pretty tame to me. Usually the fighting starts right about - wait, nevermind, there we go." The alpha gestured to a pair of hounds clawing and biting at each other over the cooked carcass of what used to be some kind of fowl. Fur was torn from flesh as the happy barking was replaced by vicious snarling. They were in a grapple, each one trying to topple the other. Neither side gained the upper paw, so one of them decided to give the other a surprise haymaker right in the jaw. The victor had a leg clutched in his paw before the other even hit the floor.

"Such fervor!" the night princess observed. "I have almost forgotten the eating habits of your people, Alpha."

With his mouth too full of rib to speak properly, Arrel waved a paw dismissively and said "Yurh gut ushed to it."

"Got pony dinners!" the cook said, wheeling up a smaller cart between the princesses. She served them two wooden bowls filled with a mishmash of various mildly fresh vegetables, mostly cabbage, and two warm loaves of bread.

"Thank you." Twilight said with a nod toward Burntmeat.

"Whatever." she replied, wheeling away the cart.

Twilight halfheartedly picked apart her salad with a fork, occasionally popping a piece in her mouth every once in a while. She had lost most of her appetite after seeing so many dogs tear into food like that. Twi knew that she was not at all dainty when it came to good eating, but what they were doing was absolute carnage. Most diners had already eaten their fill by the time that she even made a dent in her own food. To see them eat so much meat in so little time made her stomach do backflips.

Wait.

So much meat... the thought echoed in her head. Something wasn't right with those words. Bog was clearly and unquestionably subarctic, what with the massive snow drifts and serious lack of any vegetation in the cold seasons. No veggies meant no herbivores to consume them, which means no meat for carnivorous beasts to prey upon. Where were they getting all of it from? Even Equestria had to cut back on daily meals to make it through the winter, but those diamond dogs were eating like meat fell from the sky like snow.

"Luna." Twilight whispered to her partner, whose appetite was much greater seeing as how she had already eaten her loaf of bread in three bites and drank half the bottle of wine.

"Aye, Twilight, what is it?"

"Do you see what I see?" She pointed a hoof at the remaining few dogs.

"We see quite a large mess of dirty dishes, We feel sorry for whomever is the buscolt in this hall. What of it?"

"Think of what's on the plates. Meat, and lots of it. Don't you think that it's a little much with winter coming soon?"

Luna narrowed her eyes, casting a glance at the alpha. "We do. Now that it has our attention, these hounds dine like royalty tonight. Most unusual."

"Where do you think they get it?"

"We have a good theory, let us test it to be sure."

"Alpha Whitefur," Luna said.

"Yuh?" the dog said, causing several bits of slobbery cheese to fall out of his mouth. "What'cha want?" He washed down the food with a cup of bognog.

"Why does the City of Bronze favor the Griffin Republic over Equestria as a trade partner?"

Arrel lost his wits for the briefest of moments and forgot that he was was drinking heavily from a goblet, making him choke on the nog. "Dahmn!" he coughed some of it back into the cup "How the he hell did you know that?"

Bingo.

"It is only obvious," she said as if stating that the snow was white "I do believe only the gryphonfolk raise meat animals in such great quantities that they can trade so much of it away."

"Well, uh, yeah but-" he started to say, but was cut off by Luna.

Ah ha! She had him. Thier primary goal had been accomplished: find out why the trade was stopped. The Gryphon Republic had been trying to surpass Equestria in its growth and development for decades, but couldn't secure any good trade agreements until then. The gryphons both impeded Equestria's growth and multiplied their own in one fell swoop by diverting Bog's ore exports. A clever move, but the gryphons did not count on Luna's tenacity at the game of trade and her love for arguing. Twilight was sure that she would haggle the alpha over.

"And whilst I cannot deny your people prefer to have a large stock of meat to a large stock of crops, I needn't remind you of this city's longstanding relationship with Equestria. Your great great grandfather was the one who originally forged the commerce agreement with my sister all those years ago. It would be a shame if that relationship were to suddenly turn sour if one side was to dishonor that treaty without the other's consent." Without missing a beat, Princess Luna levitated the bottle of wine and poured herself another goblet. She locked eyes with the dog. "You are not a dishonorable leader, are you?"

Ever since Twilight had met Arrel Whitefur, she had seen nothing but a jovial look on the alpha's face. What came next was not so. Arrel had leaned back in the iron throne, his bushy brows furrowed and a scowl upon his muzzle. She caught a brief glimpse of his long and slender teeth, made for ripping the flesh from a bone. For a long moment, he said nothing. He chose to sit silently with paws folded and elbows on the armrests.

"Are you, Alpha White fur?" Luna pressed on.

"What if I am?" His voice had taken on a deeper, much more demanding tone.

Luna was caught off guard. She had clearly not gotten the answer she expected. "Well, I never-"

"Why should I be bound by all of the rules that a bunch of dead dogs and pompous ponies made?!" Arrel shot up and slammed his fists upon the table, knocking off a small collection of dining implements. "I didn't sign any damn contract with any damn ponies! As far as I'm concerned, that treaty died when my ancestors did. The gryphons made me a better deal than the Equestrians ever could, and I sure as Tartarus signed an agreement with them. Not because my grandfather did, but because I did. Me."

Uh oh.

"You want trade?!" Arrel leaned forward as far as he could. Twilight could smell the cooked flesh on his breath. "You give the City of Bronze something that it wants, and it'll give you what you want, thats what trade is. And we don't want any more of your shitty vegetables and fruit, we've got enough to last us a lifetime." He turned to regard the crowd of onlooking dogs and raided a cup of nog. "Does that sounds fair to you studs and bitches?!"

"Yeeaaaah!" A chorus of partially drunken dogs agreed, who in turn raised their own half-empty glasses as far as their arms could reach.

"The people have spoken." Arrel said. "We don't want what you're offering. Business is business, as you horses say. If you want your precious metal back, you're going to have to trade us something that we can use, you're going to have to make us a better offer..."

"If not, then get the hell out of my city."

Chapter Four: The Breath Before the Plunge

City of Bronze

Chapter Four: The Breath Before the Plunge

The tunnels of Bog.

Weary, bloated, and more than a little drunk, Arrel Whitefur stumbled through the cramped corners of his beloved city's tunnel system. Despite his impaired motor functions and the number of times he had tripped over his own two paws, the alpha still knew the sprawling network of passageways better than he knew himself.

It didn't take long for the inebriated dog to find his way back home. To an outsider, his chambers wouldn't appear as the bedroom of a kinglike figure. The room’s contents didn’t differ much from any other apartment in the City of Bronze, save for the custom-made bed nearly thrice the surface area of its fellows in the city. It was no queen sized bed, nor was it king sized, it wasAlpha sized.

To the leader's immediate surprise, a slender female dog that Arrel did not recognize was laying lazily on the bed as if she owned it. The demure bitch with a thick book clutched in her paws gave Arrel an acknowledging glance as she idly leafed through the faded pages. She looked like a doll too small for its toy bed lying on the slab.

At first, Arrel thought it was a female that he mentally referred to as an "Alpha Groupie." He started to give her a sly smile- he thought he knew exactly what came next -but if it weren't for that last cup of bognog that the alphadidn't have, the coagulated puss and blood that stained the furs and the festering sores that covered her body would’ve remained unnoticed.

"Oh shhhhhit." Arrel slurred. "You again."

"Ah, you're finally here." she, or ratherhe in a she's body said. "Listen to this, will you?"

The possessed dog sat up straight, held the tome out, and cleared its throat.

 "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time,

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

The book let out a cloud of dust as it was clasped shut.

"What do you think of it?" he asked.

"It's not one ofmy books." Arrel said bluntly.

V's thrall rolled its eyes in contempt. "An astute observation. I doubt you've ever read this passage before, unless one of your suppliers of trade gets their books from another plane of existence. Literature was never your people’s strong suit, anyways."

The thrall casually tossed the book to the side, but it never hit the floor. Before Arrel's very eyes the seemingly sturdy book disintegrated into nothingness the moment it left the puppet’s hand.

"Now you know what it isn’t, but you have yet to give your opinion on the contents themselves." He slumped further into the warm furs and put his paws behind his head. "Go on, I won't judge."

Arrel shrugged. "Don't know. I guess it sounds like a poem, but it doesn't rhyme. Poems should rhyme."

"Indeed." V agreed. "That's iambic pentameter for you. I alway thought that little collection of words with a rhythmic pattern really taught me quite a bit about mortalkind. Not many in this city would, but I'd bet that you could understand what this passage is saying."

Oh great, he thought, V is about to go off on another one of his monologues about mortality. He could've at least found something less depressing to lecture meon. What a windbag. I’ve got no choice but to grin and bear it because once he starts up, there's no stopping the fun train until he's finished. Choo choo.

"Okay, I'll bite. What does it say?"

A glint of excitement appeared in the puppet's eye for scarcely a moment. "I'm glad you asked! You see, unlike the mortals that I've been forced to live with this past millennia, the passage of time has no effect on me whatsoever. Not much of a revelation, I know, but bear with me. All around me mountains will turn to dust, oceans will dry up, the living will grow elderly and die, more will be born to renew the process of life and death, the very foundations of the earth will crumble beneath my own two feet and yet... I stay unchanged.  And I will continue do so until the end of existence itself. It's fascinating, really. One by one, generation by generation, the living struggle to make something of themselves and their pitifully short lifespans. Some succeed, but most do not achieve their desires before they- as you would would say -kick the bucket. If that were me," he laughed "I'd be scared to death!"

Somebody shoot me. Just right now with a crossbow, somebody barge in and assassinate me.

V chuckled to himself, but the alpha wasn't paying much attention. "Limited time. This concept is just so, so... socommon to your kind while I- a being of infinite years -cannot even begin to comprehend it. It boggles my mind to think that everything some mortals do in their lives eventually leads up to their body withering away to dust and bones because the one thing they couldn't survive was time. That is exactly what author of this work was trying to say! Time is not infinite for the mortal, and that time spent is utterly insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. It's a beautiful way of summing it up, don't you think?"

He's still talking.

Arrel had heard enough. "That's great, V, really uplifting and stuff. Are you here for a reason other than to hear yourself talk?"

"Have it your way." V’s host almost looked hurt. "I know when someone does not have the mental capacity to stop and appreciate art. But of course, impatience is the mark of a mortal. It is understandable, seeing as how each moment you have is more precious than all the riches in your city, and you'd rather not spend it contemplating Shakespeare. My dear friend, I have come to you with guidance."

Arrel snorted mirthlessly. "Yeah, well you successfully ‘guided’ two angry alicorns into my city last time I did what you said. 'Scuze me if I hesitate."

"All this time and yet you still do not trust me!" V lamented with a dramatic flair of his puppet's arms "Would it appease you if I said that you could be easily rid of these two without attracting any more Equestrian attention to the City of Bronze?"

And he finally gets to the point.

"Now you've got my attention. You should have opened with that, I might've listened." Arrel let a wicked smile paint itself upon his mug. "What is it you have in that cobwebby head of yours?"

"Unbelievable."

Princess Luna paced back and forth between the two stone-cold walls of the other guest room, the scowl on her visage growing deeper and deeper with each lap.

"The nerve of that mutt!" she muttered, a foul poison dripping from each of her words.

Twilight Sparkle stood by helplessly watching her friend slowly carve a rut into the granite floor. Luna was starting to make her feel antsy too. If she weren't so tired, Twi would be pacing right alongside her.

"The wretch thinks he can get away with betraying Equestria. We should remind him just why we are the most powerful realm on the planet!"

Twilight was hesitant to agree. On one hoof, they should have seen this coming from miles and miles away. It was no great revelation that dogs like meat more than vegetables, as is their nature. On the other hoof, Bog's long deceased leader should've known better than to make a trade agreement to import something that they were instinctively not fond of in mass quantities and expect to live off of it forever.

"Look, ah..." she said carefully "look at this from a diamond dog's perspective. The food you've been eating all your life doesn't really taste all that good. Suddenly you get a taste of what a real meal is like, a meal that you were literally born to eat. You wouldn't want to go back, would you?"

The midnight alicorn said nothing, choosing to silently fume at her partner. She was too conflicted to form a valid rebuttal at first.

"Tis not about what the hounds enjoy better." She finally said. "Tis about loyalty! They are diamond dogs for goodness sake, a race that should personify loyalty."

"Loyalty to a country that they have little to no contact with." Twilight rebutted in tone that mimicked Oakfang's own emotionless voice.

"No! Well yes, tis true but- Aggh!" The princess stomped her silver-clad hoof to the floor, creating a sharp ring that reminded her of a bell.

"Thy point is entirely valid, Twilight Sparkle." Luna's posture seemed to droop a bit when she said those words. "We appreciate that thou hath the temperance to keep thy head screwed on properly."

She sighed. "It matters not. As undesirable as the final results of this trip were, we hath accomplished our mission. We now know why Equestria is starved for metal."

Twilight nodded. "Yes, you're right. We should send a letter to Princess Celestia immediately." With a wave of her horn, Twilight summoned a blank piece of parchment, an ink well, and a quill from her saddlebags.

"Art thou ready?"

"Yeah, go."

Luna cleared her throat "Dear Sister, we are pleased to inform thou of our diplomatic efforts in the City of Bronze. The diamond dogs hath changed not since our last visit up north. They are still a rugged, practical people with simple desires in their hearts. Unfortunately, that is where our good new ends. The Alpha of Bog, Arrel Whitefur, has seen fit to divert the ore that they were contractually obliged to provide Equestria with to our neighbors, the Gryphon Republic. All formal ties with Equestria have been severed at this point."

The night princess paused, not quite certain of what to say next. "The situation would be very difficult to mend on our own, as the Alpha is adamant that Equestria is not providing any goods or services that the City of Bronze desires, and he would sooner shut us out of the city than honor its contract any further. Thankfully, the hounds are much too hospitable to turn us away. Whitefur has suggested that Equestria put a better offer on the table, and We believe that he is willing to talk trade. However, We are unsure of how to proceed. Should We attempt to barter with the Alpha or return home to further contemplate this issue? We believe that it may be unwise to choose barter, seeing as how neither Twilight or myself have extensive knowledge of the value of the goods that Equestria produces, and will not be likely to succeed at the bartering table. We seekest thy guidance, what is our next move? Sincerely, thy sister and thy former student."

"...thy former student. " Twilight muttered under her breath. She rolled up the scroll and tied it shut with a thick piece of string. "Great. Let's send this bad boy."

"What has the scroll done to be bad? Tis an inanimate object."

Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled, despite herself. "It's an expression, Luna."

Twenty minutes passed. Since all the red-scarved guards adamantly refused to let them peruse the city after the Meat incident, the two had nothing but time on their hooves until they received a reply to the scroll.

Twilight filled this time by shooting an endless stream of questions at Oakfang regarding Bog and its inhabitants. They had invited the guard in to talk, as he may hold information to help the two better understand his culture. While getting a sentence longer than seven syllables from the dog was like extracting teeth from a dire bear, he still answered without any complaint.

"Ooooh," Twilight gushed. She levitated an unfurled roll of parchment to the side, her quill scribbling on the paper furiously. "Tell me about that. Howdo you grow crops with no sun?"

Oakfang sat cross-legged on the bed and didn't make eye contact with Twilight when either of them spoke. He just stared at a particularly interesting spot on the wall. "We jus' do. Purple Shrooms. Cave wheat. Dirt. Cold rivers 'n springs. Tastes like shit. Use it to make nog."

"Mushrooms, of course!" Twilight gleefully exclaimed and made a note on paper. "They can grow all year round given adequate fertilizer and damp conditions with almost no maintenance. Brilliant!"

"S'just shrooms. Not that exciting."

"Oh, but it is."Twilight pointed the quill at Oak."And the rivers you mentioned must be where you get your fresh water supply, correct?"

"Yeah, and fish."

Twilight did a double-take. "Subterranean aquatic life?! Absolutely fascinating! Before this, I had no idea that the City of Bronze could even produce any food autonomously! Heck, I wasn't even sure that underground rivers could support life. You must find me a live sample some time. I'd justlove to get my hooves one of those!"

Twilight realized that she was beginning to lose control of her excitement when she inched a little too far into Oak's personal space and he made her heart almost stop with a brief snarl.

"Thou must excuse my colleague." Luna cut in. "She becomes excitable in the presence of previously unknown knowledge. Thou art mere minutes away from giving her a- what was it that her brother called it? -a "nerd-gasm"."

That statement gained the princess a blank look from Oak. "You talk different. Weird different."

"Aye," Luna agreed "we do. Everyone with a language speaks in their own unique vernacular. Ours is just an outlier to the masses of equines who speak in a more "modern" manner."

His facial muscles didn't even move. He stared at her like a statue."Didn't get a word of that."

"Actually," Twilight said "Iwas wondering about that. You've got the modern dialect of Equestrian down, but you still use the outdated one. Why?"

Luna waved off Twilight's question as if it were a fly. "Thy current Equestrian language is dull. It lacks the elegance of simpler times. Be glad that we do not speak inAntiquis Equo any longer."

"Old Equestrian died alooong time ago, Princess." Twilight smiled to herself when memories of translating entire passages in that dusty old language as a requirement for her advanced magic classes crept across her mind. "Now the only thing they use it for is dumb summoning incantations, and those only work about half the time, if you're lucky."

"Anyway," Twilight said, trying to re-rail her derailed train of thought. "What was I going to ask you next, Oakfang?" She stared off into space for a few moments as she mentally rewound the conversation.

"Oakfang." she repeated. "Thatis an odd name. Is it one of those- what do you call them? You mentioned it earlier." Twilight scanned her notes for the word that rested on the tip of her tongue. "True Names?"

"Ah yes," Luna said "We remember True Names well from our last contact with diamond dogs. A moniker derived from an aspect that is unique to each individual that chooses one. Much like our less formal concept of nicknames."

"I always liked the idea of choosing a name to fit what you do." Twilight thought aloud. "Of course mine already fits perfectly.  How can you get anymore magical-sounding than "Twilight Sparkle"? My name just screams "Look at me, I can shoot lasers from my forehead!"."

"Then again," she went off on a tangent "everypony's name always fits what they do. Like, without fail. I've never met a pony whose name didn't fit their talents. I'd like meet a pony named "Cross Stitch" that worked as a chef or something. Does that seem odd to you?"

At one point in her monologue, Oakfang had began practicing his thousand-yard stare. He was getting very good at it.

"Oakfang? Heeelllooo?" Twilight waved a hoof at the guard, but Oak paid no mind. He was deaf and blind to all but his own thoughts.

"We may have lost him." Luna said with a trace of amusement in her voice.

"My name." Oak said, his voice was little more than a gruff whisper. "MyTrue name. Oh boy. 'S one hell of a story."

"Do tell!" Twilight chirped.

"Long story short." Oakfang opened wide his maw, revealing a set of sharp canine teeth. He grabbed a single tooth with those opposable digits of his and yanked it out with a wetpop that reminded Twilight of opening a bottle of wine.

He presented the tooth to the princess. At first glance,  it was just another yellowed front fang. If one were to look closely, they would see that the texture was not at all smooth like a normal tooth, it was quite coarse, and there were dark blotchy patches covering it.

"Well," Twilight said "I never would have guessed that. A dog name Oakfang has wooden teeth. What are the odds?"

"Funny," Oak deadpanned.

"What didst thou expect?" Luna asked with a smirk.

"I didn't know what to expect." Twilight admitted. "Hey, um, do you mind if I ask...?"

Oak raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, how did you get it? The wooden tooth I mean."

"Carved it. Painted it."

"No, I mean how'd you lose the old one?"

"Oh." Oak had that look about him again, it was as if he were staring at something miles and miles away. "Alpha took it."

Twilight and Luna shared a glance.

"I was a pup." Oak continued, unconsciously rolling around the piece of wood in his paw. "Thought I could be Alpha. I was wrong."

"If diamond dog politics are today as they were in our first rule..." Luna words trailed off. "Do not tell us that thou met that brutish behemoth of a hound in single combat!"

Oak noded slowly, not breaking eye contact with the wall. "I did."

"Huh?" Twilight was a little confused. Oakfang fought Arrel? But they seemed so... amicable toward one another.

"Ah, apologies, Twilight." Luna moved closer and put a hoof on her shoulder. "We forget that thou hath little knowledge of dog culture. Thou know'st not how hounds chose their ruler. Diamond dogs follow only the strong, and they choose to be governed by the strongest dog in the pack. If the current Alpha is defeated in a duel by another dog, then he or she must relinquish their rule to the victor."

"Leadership through personal strength." Twilight said. "That's... barbaric."

"You're telling me." Oak agreed.

"Thou art lucky that thy innards are still intact!" Luna exclaimed. "We do not oft hear of dogs who live through a trial such as that."

Oakfang popped his fake tooth back in its socket. "He thought I was good. Spared me. Made me a Hellhound. Put me in charge."

"But it still didn't stop him from taking a trophy." Twilight bluntly pointed out.

Then something completely unexpected happened. The normal somber and broody captain of the guardlaughed.To an outsider sounded like more of a gruff bark, but there was no mistaking it, Oakfang has a sense of humor.  "No one said he was a saint."

The next morning.

It could have been morning, but then again it could have been evening. It was hard to truly tell the time of day in a city without sun or clocks. Twilight found it easier to think of the time she woke up as the morning.

Twilight slept horribly that night. All the while she had drifted in and out of a dreamless sleep, unable to get the long night's rest she desired. The fact that she was literally sleeping on a rock did not help. She requested a nearby servant to get her some linen sheets, and said servant brought her an itchy burlap tarp. At least it kept her warm. The princess mused that the whole trade dispute could've been easily solved if somepony introduced the revolutionary concept of "mattresses" to the City of Bronze. Those things would sell like hotcakes.

With an achy back, frazzled mane and baggy eyes, Twilight slunk out of bed and stretched the stiffness out of her limbs. She wasn't very surprised to find that there was no mirror in her room. There wasn't even a bathroom, just a shifty-looking metal pot in the corner. "Bare minimum" were the words that had passed through her mind throughout the night.

There were no lights to switch on. Bog was constantly kept barely lit by thousands upon thousands of yellowish hexagonal crystals that flickered like a torch that never went out. She recalled asking Oak what they were, he called them "lantern stones" or something like that. He explained that keeping a multitude of torches lit throughout the city was too much of a hassle to bother with, not to mention the fact that that many torches would completely fill Bog with smoke and use up nearly all of the oxygen.

Oakfang was vague on the details, but they were apparently manufactured by many of the city's talented magi. Twilight hadn't had the chance to meet any of them yet. Perhaps she would take a less brief tour of the City of Bronze when all of this was behind her.

Twilight managed to make herself look a little less like a homeless mare with the aid of a crude hairbrush that she picked out of what once was a wardrobe before her previous visit to the room. It was awkward to get right without a mirror, but she managed.

She doubted that anydog in the city would care about the appearance of a foreign diplomat anyway. It was unlikely that a citizen of Bog would go running to the media with photos of an unkempt Twilight Sparkle if she were to step out in such a state.

Twilight pushed open the door to her quarters and trotted across the hallway to Luna's. She didn't think that Luna was still asleep, being princess of the night and all that. Her first attempt at knocking on the ten ton slab was pitiful at best, as her hoof barely made a sound. She telekinetically picked up a rock and beat it against the door.

In a moment, the stone door was enveloped in a dull silver light. It slowly opened itself with a horrible grinding, revealing not a subpar guest room, but a void. Twilight shook her head, trying to make sure that her eyes were not playing tricks on her. The doorway didn't look at all like a normal doorway, but more like a section of wall that had been painted jet black. Where'd the room go?

"Enter, Twilight." Luna's familiar voice emanated from the abyss.

Twilight did just that without a word more. She tentatively prodded at the wall first, finding it to be empty space. Satisfied that she just wasn't seeing things, Twilight crossed the threshold into the room.

It was nothing but blackness... lonely, empty, blackness. Twilight felt a twinge of panic poke at her chest when she turned around to see that the dimly lit hallway was gone, replaced by total darkness. She instinctively cast a simple light spell, but couldn't even see the gentle glow of her own horn. She tried blinking a few times to ensure that her eyes were indeed still open. It was as if she had gone blind.

"What bothers thou such?" Luna asked. She was nowhere to be seen, but Twi heard her voice as if she stood not three feet away.

"Heh, well," she replied with a half-hearted laugh "we're stuck in the City of Wet Dog with no running water or shampoo in sight, not to mention a severe lack of flushable toilets. Other than that, I'm bothered by the fact that I can't see past my own nose."

"Oh, erm..." Twilight couldn't have noticed Luna's cheeks become a shade redder in the dark. "Apologies. We sometimes forget that our Perfect Dark spell is still cast."

With a brief hum of magic, the world returned to normal. Like somepony had thrown a switch, Twilight could see again. Luna's room was nearly identical to her own, barring the "redecorating" she had inadvertently done due to her meditation session. Luna laid casually with her hooves tucked under her body on a pile of furs. Caught in her telekinetic grip was a piece of parchment, ruffled and yellow.

"Much time have we spent on the dark side of the moon." Luna said, her voice was different somehow, softer... sort of. Luna was not one to normally use an indoor voice. "The darkness is an old friend to us. It allows us to think with clarity."

"Do you do it often? The spell thing, I mean." Twilight resisted the urge to ask her where she learned to do that. She couldtotally use it to sleep in on even the sunniest of mornings.

Luna eyed the floor for scarcely a moment. "Not as often as We like. Total clarity is a difficult state of mind to achieve when one is in a position such as ours."

"Regardless,"she continued, floating the paper closer to Twilight. "We have something that requires thy attention."

The princess grasped the parchment in a magical grip and spread it out before her. It looked like a legal document! Well, legal-ish. The rigid penmanship and atrocious grammar was clearly that of a diamond dog,  not to mention the fact that it was a whole lot less wordy than anything drawn up by a pony lawyer. The purpose of this document was crystal clear: Alpha Arrel was offering to reinstate Equestria's trade relations for up to a year and a half, but- and that was a big but -there was a catch. The only way that Arrel would have even considered reinstating the agreement is if Equestria rid the City of Bronze of its demon problem.

Twilight felt a smile coming on. Finally, they catch a break! A year and a half might not be much in the long run, but it was more than they had the night before. "Isn't this just a stroke of good luck!"

"Indeed." Luna agreed. "We may not return home with empty hooves after all."

Twilight did a double-take. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Luna raised both of her eyebrows, as if that question caught her off-gaurd. "We mean that we could ride to Equestria with a shipment of ore!"

Twilight shifted her weight uncomfortably, her eyes darting back and forth from Princess Luna to the paper. "Are you suggesting that we take care of this demon ourselves?"

"But of course!" She all but shouted, her indoor voice going out of the metaphorical window. "Tis only a mild threat! Two alicorns are more than a match for a single hellspawn."

She slipped off of her bed and trotted over. Luna playfully nudged Twilight's shoulder, saying "Cadenza and thou hath defeated a mighty tatzlwurm with thy bare hooves! Neither thou nor thy sister-in-law hath faced as many monsters asus. Vanquishing a lone demon would be trivial for our combined might."

"I- I guess." she reluctantly agreed. Twilight was no longer a stranger to battle, not after Tirek, but neither was she a hardened defender of the night like Luna.

"But still," she said "wouldn't we need some sort of a  plan? As of now, we have no idea what kind of demon we're dealing with. There's also the fact that we didn't exactly come prepared for demon slaying. You said it yourself, Luna, we've got no weapons for fighting it."

Luna snorted and waved a dismissive hoof. "We are sure that Whitefur will provide us with the needed materials. It merely takes a blade of silver to harm a lesser demon. One of the richest cities in Equestria is in no danger of having a silver shortage. Be not so timid, Twilight. The task before us is easily completed and the reward is great. Thy worries are for naught."

Twilight didn't like this, not one single bit. Luna said that it wouldn't be as dangerous as she believed, which eased her worrying a little. She would've liked the princess of the night to take fighting a creature of Tartarus a little more seriously, but that was just Luna. She was the strongest pony that Twilight ever knew. If she said they could do it, then they could do it.

Was Twilight just being silly? No, that couldn't be it. This was a being that escaped hell itself that they were dealing with. She couldn't fathomnot to fretting about it.

"Alright, if that's the case, then I'm with you." Twilight finally said.

"Marvelous!" The moon princess cheered. She snatched the paper and an in quill and began scribbling a short list in the margins. "Let us see, we will require a multitude of items before the battle. Silver weapons shalt be at the very top of the list, some armor would go a long way, we doubt that these hounds have clerics, so holy water is out of the equation."

Luna tapped the quill on her chin and hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps the bow and arrow may prove useful. Twilight, art thou a skilled shot with a bow?"

"I know which end to use."

"Aye, we thought as much." More scribbling. "Perhaps thou would be best suited as a support to us."

"Can't we just, uh, you know..." Twilight paused, searching for the right words in her head "blast 'em with destruction spells? That always seems to work in my experience."

Luna didn't even look away from her ever-lengthening list of notes. "Believe us, Twilight Sparkle, we would enjoy nothing more than to reduce that devil to a pile of ash. Unfortunately, demons are notorious for countering even the most skilled magi's arcane prowess. The denizens of hell operate on biology vastly different than our own. While we as ponies may harmlessly come into contact with silver, blessed items, and certain kinds of wood, the demons are as vulnerable to them as us to hunger and disease. They have resistances that we do not as well. Extreme heat and cold, fatigue, and unicorn magic spring to mind."

"There." She said, dotting her final sentence with a period. "These items should be adequate to ensure our victory, providing that Whitefur would be gracious enough to grant them to us."

"I thought you said that it would be easy."

"We did indeed, but like you modern fillies say: preparation, preparation, preparation."

Twilight smiled. "I must be rubbing off on you."

Deep underground, in a chasm hundreds of feet below the snow-capped Crystal Mountains, something stirred.

The metallic clatter of chains echoed off of the vast chamber's black walls every time it made even the slightest movement. For an immeasurable number of years, it was the only sound that ever permeated the deafening silence. He took a deep breath of the frigid subterranean air, a wispy cloud of vapor rolling forth from his mouth. He could have quivered with anticipation if he wasn't holding back himself. The events that he had set in motion would soon come to fruition, and the time he had been biding was about to pay off. Tonight was the night.

He took another breath. The damned silence would soon be broken by more than chains. These dark halls would ring with the chaos of battle and the cries of mortals in the days to come. But for the time being, the calm before the storm was all that mattered. One deep breath before the plunge into the abyss.

The end drew nearer and nearer with each passing moment.