Pinkie Reads Homestuck

by potatoflankthefailular

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 1362

Being Pinkie OBVIOUSLY has ties with the real world internet, she has seen many things... But this... This changes everything.

Pinkie, after many hours of snooping on the human internet finds a new addiction, next to candy. This addiction is the webcomic, Homestuck.

*I DO NOT OWN ANDREW HUSSIE OR ANY OF HIS WORK! IF HE FINDS THIS, DON'T TELL HIM I MADE IT. IT WAS THE BUTLER! TELL HIM IT WAS THE BUTLER*

Also contains spoilers for Homestuck, references to Homestuck and Pinkie going mental.

And Faygo... Lots... And lots of Faygo.

Published 2014-03-22 19:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-22 19:40:02 UTC

The Sweet Discovery

Pinkie sat at her light pink desktop, late at night, browsing funny cat videos on Hooftube when she decides that the government regulated pony internet wasn't cutting it for her. She then closes the typhoon of cat videos that was Hooftube and opens "Humanize" which was a program she made on her free time where it allowed ponies access to the human internet. Most of the coding was done by Twilight by force but Pinkie still feels inclined to say it was her who did it. When she opened the program her screen faded to black and then reopened in a more "Human" format. And with that, Pinkie's adventure into the human internet began.

"I don't remember taking this picture" Pinkie says to herself as she sees herself posing next to what appeared to be a mangled Rainbow Dash and in the background were the words "Life is a party" scrawled in blood. "This stuff is just SO weird. I mean... Why would I use red paint. Pink is WAY more my style. Also, why is Dash asleep during my party? This is just really silly" The pink mare said to herself, rolling her eyes.

Suddenly, she sees a link posted in the comments of the picture. The comment said: "Hay guys, did you hear about that webcomic that dude made? Link: "

Another comment replied "Dewd, of corz I herd of it. It was madee 3 yearz ago! duhh"

"That guy must have hooves too" Pinkie said, stroking her fake beard that she got from Rarity as a birthday present.

Pinkie then decided she was inclined to click the link. She was met with a page that had what appeared to be a bucktoothed, armless boy. Under the pictures was the text that read "A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?"

"Uhm... His name will be... Jerryhoof Jones!" Pinkie shouted at her computer screen

Under the text was the link that had the words, "Enter name"
"Oh..."
And so Pinkie clicked... And clicked... And clicked... And clicked. 5 hours later, Pinkie somehow made it to Act Five: Subact One.

The Pink mare's poofy mane was now a ruffled mess but for one reason for another, the interesting colors distracted Pinkie further into the rabbit hole she found herself in.

"I'm so... HAPPY!" Pinkie said with a toothy grin.

A few minutes later Pinkie decided that she couldn't stay up any longer. She clicked "Save game" and then went off to sleep.

honk :o)

Author's Note

Oh Jegus this better end well... Oh wait... I'm the writer. I know how this ends. NEVERMIND!

The introduction to Sober Gamzee

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and the other one all walk past Sugarcube Corner and realize Pinkie's absence.
"Guys... Where off did Pinkie go? I haven't heard much from her after that she found out about that silly story" Applejack thought out loud but alas... There was no response from her marefriends.

"GUYS! WHERE IS PINKIE?!" Twilight said to the crowd of friends that followed her.

"Uhm... didn't she read that story called hometrap or something?"
And with Fluttershy's intelligent mumbling, the group left a confused, monologuing Applejack on the side of the street

"Girls... Pinkie is probably away attending some sort of FASHION cake baking contest or something" The marshmallow, fashion pony thing said.

Pinkie sat in her room... Alone. Gummy was out of sight and Mr. And Mrs. Cake had left Pinkie because of her rampant, late night fan-mare-ing.

"I am the embodiment of the Highblood... Gamzee Makara" Pinkie spoke to herself as she rolled a can of Faygo back and forth... "I must paint. But I require some lower blood" By now, Sober Gamzee's actions in the story have driven Pinkie to complete and utter insanity.

"I must further embody the Highblood. I need facepaint" And with that, Pinkie trotted off into the real world.

"Pinkie?" Twilight said, searching for a light switch to light up the practically pitch black room

"Uhm... Maybe she left?" Fluttershy said while trying not to scream in complete fear.

"FASHION FASHION FASHION! LETS GO AND GET DRESSES AND HAVE SEX WITH ROCKS!" Rarity said, being a true lady.

"This is probably going to be the only line I get in this story" Said Rainbow Dash, awesomely.

"Probably, Rainbow Dash" Twilight said "But that's not the point. We need to find Pinkie. I've been reading into the story she has been reading and I think it's a-" As Twilight finally found the light switch and turned on the lights she saw a horrific sight.
The word "Honk" and a smiley face that looked a lot like this ":o)" was scrawled all over the walls in what appeared to be purple ink, Twilight then jumped when she heard the collective shock when all of the lights went out. Pitch black darkness, all the four mares relied on was auditory guidance. The only problem was there were bottles of Faygo everywhere and the ponies kept tripping on them.

"P-Pinkie... Quit playing games. This isn't funny" Twilight said with a quiver in her voice. A short but loud "Honk" was heard from within Pinkie's room, a few seconds later there was a slight hissing of the opening of a Faygo bottle and another honk.

"Rainbow Dash, go check!" Rarity said while she was gnawing on her tail.

Rainbow Dash said nothing because the writer felt inclined to do so. As the rainbow maned pony flied into Pinkie's room, the door shut with a CRUCNH because Rainbow Dash was half way into the doorway.

"HEY BESTFRIEND!" Pinkie said in a grungy voice. Before Rainbow Dash could respond she passed out due to blood loss because of the door crushing her. Pinkie then dragged Rainbow's corpse into her room, where she painted with other pony's blood
"lets rest in the hornpile" Pinkie said, tossing Rainbow Dash's limp dead body into the pile of horns she arranged. Honks burst with the weight of the dead body, scaring the other ponies outside.

"Rainbow?" Fluttershy said.

"Well... Should we go in?" Rarity said Fashioning everywhere.

"No... No... NO..." Pinkie, wearing white facepaint and fake troll horns, said as she walked out slowly.

"PINKIE!? THIS STORY IS RUINING YOUR LIFE!" Twilight said.

":o)" Pinkie somehow said. And with that, Pinkie leaped into the darkness and activated the Faygo shower, which confused the three ponies.

"WHY ARE WE ALL STICKY!?" Rarity said, remembering her college days

"Honk Honk" Pinkie said, giggling

"MAKE IT STOP!" Twilight said

"I... I actually like it" Fluttershy said... Shyly.
Pinkie fell from above and landed on the slutty, marshmallow pony, killing her on impact. "Honk" Pinkie said again. She then took a club and beat Fluttershy until she fell to the ground, bleeding everywhere. "HONK!" Pinkie screamed, giggling uncontrollably.

"THAT'S IT!" Twilight said, still having Faygo being poured all over her, Twilight then casted a spell which temporarily suspended Pinkie into the air. Twilight tackled the suspended Pinkie, throwing punch after punch to her snout. Her blood was somehow purple. The purple blood coated Twilight's hooves. As the spell wore off Pinkie's limp body fell to the ground, purple blood coating the floor. As Pinkie fell Twilight looked down with bloodshot eyes... Not knowing what to do without friends. Applejack then trotted into the room
"HEY! AH AM HER FRIEND TOO!"
As a response to this, Twilight shot a purple laser from her horn, putting a hole into the head of the orange, freckled farm pony.
As Applejack fell Twilight looked down with bloodshot eyes... Not knowing what to do without friends.

~HoNk~

Author's Note

JEGUS! This was a blast writing.
Keep in mind, I subtly described my favorite and least favorite ponies with in the story... Subtly.

Also don't worry, just because I read Homestuck, doesn't mean that I'm a crazed murderer.

Hope you enjoyed the fic.