Dark Laughter

The air rushed passed her as she fell, her wings folded tight against her side. Her struggles would soon be over. Pinkie Pie closed her eyes as the ground approached her, at peace at last. Falling, falling, falling...and it stopped. It was over.

"Pinkie Pie..." A familiar, quiet voice breathed.

Fluttershy...

"Pinkie Pie." Fluttershy's sweet voice said. "This is the last time I can visit you. The divine forces have decided your fate. For murdering all those ponies...the afterlife won't be pretty for you."

No...

"Pinkamena Diane Pie. This is the last time you'll see or hear me. Goodbye."

Pinkie opened her eyes, but instead of the flames of hell, she saw the gravel of a street in Ponyville a few feet below her through a fuchsia glow. She wasn't dead.

"Pinkie Pie...how could you." A voice said accusingly. Pinkie looked up and saw Twilight Sparkle, her horn glowing as she kept Pinkie suspended upside-down in midair. They were all there. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack.

"Yeah, Pinkie, that was NOT COOL," Rainbow Dash agreed, teeth bared in a snarl.

Rarity averted her eyes, tears making streaks down her face as they smudged her mascara. "I can't believe that you would just try and kill yourself to escape your fate."

"Ya kill a bunch o' ponies an' ya think you can just kill yourself and escape your guilt?" Applejack growled, looking ready to attack.

Pinkie Pie said nothing.

"It's a good thing Princess Celestia pleaded insanity for you," Twilight Sparkle snorted. "You've been sentenced to only five years of prison. And it's my duty to do this." As Twilight held Pinkie captive in her magic, she took out a syringe of fluorescent, purple liquid. The serum that would turn Pinkie back to normal.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, Pinkie," Twilight sighed, and she stabbed the syringe into Pinkie's flank. Pinkie screamed in pain as the searing liquid spread through her veins; her whole body felt like it was on fire. Pinkie's wings erupted in pain as the fragile bones in them shattered to dust and disappeared, her skin burned as her fur changed back to its normal pink, the cartilage in her ears ached as they shrunk, and her eyes stung as they changed to their normal aquamarine color.

"We have to take you into custody," Twilight said. "We also put a sleeping drug in that syringe. I'm sorry, Pinkie," were the last words Pinkie heard before her world rippled and faded into nothing.

Five years later...

Pinkie Pie didn't smile in the slightest bit as her name on the paperwork partaking in her release from prison was stamped, "REHABILITATED." Those past five years were the worst in her life. Solitary confinement in the Canterlot dungeons, only allowed to talk to her family and friends through bars and glass screens. Five years of stale bread and apples; no sweets whatsoever. Five years of sitting in the corner of her small prison room, contemplating her life and what she had done. All that time...but she couldn't feel any regret.

As soon as Pinkie left the prison, her five friends were right there to greet her. They threw a huge party for her at Sugarcube Corner. Everyone in Ponyville was invited.  They had all her favorite party games, decorations, and candies, pies, and cupcakes. But Pinkie just couldn't enjoy herself at the party. Everything seemed juvenile and bland, especially the sweets.

As her friends left Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie couldn't shake this feeling from her mind. She felt heavy, cynical, and mainly just pessimistic. Pinkie found herself wandering into the big, empty kitchen. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were out on a huge business trip, catering for some sort of celebrity figure Pinkie just didn't give a flying feather about.

Pinkie Pie decided she would bake something, maybe getting back into the things she used to do would dispel her depression. She found herself baking the one thing that would always bring her up when she felt down: Cupcakes.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix..." she mused. "Now just take a little something sweet, not sour...a bit of salt, just a pinch..." Pinkie rummaged through the kitchen drawers, looking for a spoon to mix the cupcake batter. The Cakes had re-organized the kitchen while she was gone, and everything was in a different place than she remembered.

Pinkie sampled the batter, and frowned when it tasted boring and bland, just like the food at the party. She was sure she used plenty of sugar...maybe her taste buds had just gotten so used to prison food that she lost her sense of taste? Pinkie was saddened at this thought, but decided to continue baking the cupcakes. Her friends would probably enjoy them.

"Aha!" Pinkie said triumphantly as she located the silverware drawer. She found a spoon and held it in between her hooves. Pinkie took the spoon out of the drawer, but her left foreleg scraped against a big, sharp knife, cutting through her fur and leaving a thin red line that a few drops of blood poured their way out of.

Pinkie stared at the cut, not even noticing the stinging pain. She hadn't seen blood since...since that night five years ago. Tentatively, Pinkie dropped the spoon, leaned forward, and licked drops of red. Pinkie pondered the salty, tangy liquid in her mouth, savoring the taste. Hm...perhaps this was what she needed to make her cupcakes taste splend-errific! Excited, Pinkie squeezed the small cut, but no more blood poured out. She just needed to make the cut bigger, that was all.

Pinkie Pie went back into the drawer and took the knife that her foreleg scraped against. She didn't hesitate to bring it down right above her hoof, making a long, red gash. Blood spilled out, and Pinkie happily took a measuring cup and poured the thick, crimson stuff into the batter. After mixing it in, Pinkie took another taste.

"It's perfect!" she squealed. Pinkie spread the red-ish batter into cupcake tins, and shoved it into the oven. Now she just needed frosting! Pinkie held the knife in her mouth and was about to cut herself again, but she began to feel dizzy and sick from blood loss.

"Uh oh, I don't feel so good," she groaned. "Maybe I shouldn't take any more. But I need blood for the frosting, or else the cupcakes won't taste good! What do I do?!" Pinkie freaked out.

Then, she thought of the best idea ever! "I can take blood from other ponies!" Pinkie shouted with glee. "But I don't want anypony to feel jealous because I'm using somepony else to bake...so I'll pick a random number!" she clapped her hooves together. "Omigosh, this is perfect! And when I take their blood for the cupcakes, I can use the rest of them for something else! Fluttershy was always into recycling." Pinkie looked around the room. "Hm, this place looks pretty boring. Maybe I can make some decorations! Like streamers made of intestines, or bones lining the wall, or...you know what? Maybe I can make myself a dress! Oh, Rarity would love that! And it can have a ton of cutie marks stitched together, and I'll have wings, and a necklace made of horns!" Pinkie frowned as she realized something. "Wait...Cup Cake and Carrot Cake might not like it if I redecorate their house without their permission. Huh...wait, I've got it! I'll just do all my work in the basement! Nopony ever goes down there! I'll need to get some tools, like saws, knives, needles, an operating table, but I can save up for them with the money I'll make from selling my DELICIOUS blood-cupcakes! THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER!" Pinkie screamed at the top oh her lungs. "I'll need to get started right away!"

Pinkie disappeared into the basement, her mane flattening as she went insane. Rehabilitated, my flank, Pinkie giggled to herself, her pupils shrinking and eyes crossing. It's much more fun to be CRAZY!

But maybe there was more to her descent into insanity than making yummy cupcakes. Maybe since she knew she was going to hell, she figured that she could do anything she wanted. Or maybe this was a way of proverbially flipping off Fluttershy, who had told her to be herself. Maybe this was her true self.

And so Pinkamena Diane Pie laughed dark laughter as she sold her blood-cupcakes to the populace of Ponyville. They didn't know what was in the cupcakes, of course. They thought her cupcakes were scrumptious.

So she laughed dark laughter as she drugged ponies and brought them into her basement.

She laughed dark laughter as she brutally murdered them. She made their deaths slow and painful, being sure to collect every part of the pony she could use. The bones, the fur, the organs, the hooves...everything had its place.

She laughed dark laughter, because nopony could find her out. If they did, she would harvest their materials as well.

She laughed dark laughter because she could do anything she wanted, now that Fluttershy wasn't watching her.

Pinkamena laughed dark laughter, because everypony's number would come.

FIN