The Fourth Race

Twilight looked to the other three princesses and Discord.

All of them were quite stunned by the stories of each of the humans.

Egnatius had been raised from a young boy as a soldier, and his country had dominated what Twilight calculated to be the equivalent of seven Equestrias, despite their countless enemies and the wrath of time, the Roman Empire had lasted about eight hundred years after the soldier's life-span.

Equestria had only a few enemy nations, and they all had their own unique histories and their own styles of fighting.

Joan was the only female soldier in all of the Kingdom of France, and had a connection with the divines of Earth, if her visions of heaven were anything to go by. Despite her valiant acts, she had been burned for heresy, which was awful.

There hadn't been a public execution in Equestria well over a thousand years. Divine interventions, however, were quite common.

As they went up the line, the events and background of Earth seemed to become quicker and more complex.

Rick was the son of a farmer and a devout follower of 'Jesus', who seemed to be a very important Earth being deity, as it seemed each of the six had at least a reverence for him. He lived in the southern states of a country called America, and his side fought for the rights of the states to reject the central government's rulings.

He also had an unnaturally keen sight and eidetic memory, traits that had made him the perfect reconnaissance troop.

Thaddeus seemed... detached from the course of the others' Earth, as his story involved the Steampunks' war on the Necromancers' Guild. The heavy emphasis on engineering skills, proficiencies with holy rituals and lore, the use of electricity and fire, the strange fixation on brass, bronze, and steel, and the use of magic made it clear that he was the oddball of the group.

However, if all of his tools and the house he'd shown them in a few pictures that were in his pockets, were truly, according to him, made with a very tight budget and few materials, then his crafting, engineering, alchemy, and construction skills were incredible.

Then came Hitler.

It started off as a normal sob story, he grew up abused in a household where being blond-haired and blue-eyed meant being worthy, then joined the army and made a lot of friends.

He had grown up desiring to be a painter, an artist, one who would create beautiful things, not destroy them like a soldier.

"So, during those three failures, did you ever do the painting step-by-step like the instructions said?" Thaddeus asked, thinking about all of the scientific reports and documents that went with a new invention.

"Nein, zinking back, I probably shood have, portraits were not my specialty, I'm quite bad at zem." Adolf answered, getting back to his story.

After the failures, his father convinced him to go into the military.

His climb to power was greatly accelerated because of his ability to put his passion into words and convince others to join him. He waged a war to regain what had been ripped away from his country- money, power, and respect -in the first Great War, which Brian corrected as 'World War 1', and the war in which Hitler led Germany was 'World War 2'.

It was frightening to think that two 'world wars' had happened within thirty years of each other, or even in the same century.

The black-haired man had ordered that all 'very non-aryan' people were to be put 'out of the way' from the war, an order that he assured them- even so far as willingly undergoing a 'zpeak only ze trooth' spell to prove it -was innocent in nature, but had been corrupted in its interpretation and execution.

Turns out, he himself was half-Jewish.  His birth mother was a Jew, and he loved his mother a lot (Which earned a heartfelt 'awww' from Brian). He was incredibly enraged at those who slaughtered the people he technically shared blood with, but the damage was already done, and anything he would have done would be too late.

Six million people, the five Equestrians shuddered to think that there had even been that many to be killed and not have it be noticed until it was too late, since if that had happened in Equestria, almost seven eighths of the nation would be gone.

He was still quite angry and saddened by the betrayals and there results, mostly since, for all he knew, his mother might've been one of those who died in the death camps.

Six million men, women, and children, whether they be Jewish, gay, or just not blue-eyed and/or blond-haired (having only one of the two traits 'vas goot enuff vor military service, both vas perfect', he assured), were killed systematically, by drowning, scientific experiments, freezing, burning, or 'the infamous gas-chambers' Brian called them, a 'shower' that sprayed poisonous gas rather than water.

After finding out how his innocent orders; words that had been made to save lives, had been bastardized to justify taking them, he killed himself, seeing heaven as no place for a fool like himself.

Luckily, Discord caught him before his soul was pulled anywhere else, so that was good.

"Did you shoot yourself like the books say?" The modern man asked.

"I conzidered cyanide, but I felt myzelf at a crossvroad, I vas too goot to zuffer in mein death, but too stupid to dezerve Heaven, I looked vor mein PPK, but couldn't find it."

"Did ya check yer back pocket?" Rick queried, remembering he'd once ruined six cigars because he'd forgotten about them and sat down on them.

"...AH gut, here it iz." the mustachioed man pulled out a Walther PPK, dropping the mag out and looking inside, "Und is fully loaded."

That was the end of that story.

Brian was quite the case, born and raised in Texas (which made him have a high-five with Rick, much to the latter's satisfaction and confusion), in the city of Texarkana, which was on the borders of four other states, he joined the army because his dad had been in the navy and became a successful and wealthy man after his service had been finished.

His war was the war on terrorism, which had taken a monument that he had a picture of.

The World Trade Center's North and South Twin Towers.

One hundred and ten stories tall, it was like a monument to human ambition (and a bit of greed, after all, it was a trade center.

So he'd been working in a place called the Middle East for years, not knowing when the next attack from or against the enemy would be. He was pulled into Equestria after his squad died whilst clearing out an important terrorist town, and he'd survived only using his ingenuity and a grenade.

With all of the stories out of the way, and despite the Equestrians' obvious discomfort, the humans felt the tension between them clear away.

Egnatius and Joan nodded to each other out of respect.

Thaddeus and Rick high-fived.

Even Brian and Hitler acted civilized and shook hands.

"So, just so we're clear, one final time; the Jews dying was not your intention?" Brian stared directly into the smaller man's eyes.

"Nein, it vas ze vill ov my messengers zat ze Jews died, along wiz all ze ozers. I vanted to keep zem out ov... joo called eet 'Vorld Var Zwei'?"

"Yes, kinda."

"Out ov Vorld Var Zwei, I never vanted zem dead, only contained. Zat, und I am a devout Chreestian man, I believe zat vorgivenezz is ze key to happiness,"

"That sounds... good, man, forgiveness removes hate, and if you have no hate, then all you have is love, and happiness."

"Ja, sorta."

"Well, I never thought I'd ever say this in an applicable context, but... I forgive you, Adolf Hitler."

"Zank you, Brian... mien head steel tingles vith ze magicz ov Princeps Twilight's zpell, I ztill can't believe zat zis place haz magicz."

"Yeah, it's weird, I just kinda grew up believing that magic was a fairytale thing, and momma said 'Dat's raight, Brine, fuckin' magic n' shit ain't real, i's just a fairytale.', *sigh* she was so ghetto sometimes."

"That speech-pattern, was your momma black?" Rick cut into the conversation.

"Yes, and there's nothing wrong with that." Brian prepared his internet memes.

"Then... how come you're white?" the scout asked, confused by this concept.

"...Oh my god, Rick, you can't just ask people why they're white!" the sergeant replied.

"Was yer daddy white?" the Louisianan continued.

"Yes, yes he was, his name was Fredrick Rosenthal and he was white." the Texan informed.

"... Vhat?" Adolf knew that he couldn't have heard that right.

"Fredrick Rosenthal, my dad, he was white. Is there a problem with my dad being white and my mom being black?" Brian showed the mustachioed man his slightly brown-colored arms, "This isn't just a tan, this is my being part black."

"...Nein, I vasn't... it vas just... vorget about eet," the blue-eyed man gave up as he took off his hat and looked at the symbol.

His precious swastika, tainted by crooks and supremacists.

He grabbed the swastika pin, took it out of the fabric, walked over to and opened one of the windows, and was about to pitch it out when it was grabbed by Thaddeus.

"This metal, it is unlike anything I've seen before." the engineer said as he felt the weight and tested strength of the metal.

"Eet eez titanium, now give it back zo I can get reed ov it."

"Titanium... nice name, I could use this for something. Thank you Adolf."

"Your velcome, I zink?" the German sat down again.

Joan and Egnatius were talking quietly, but they stopped when Celestia cleared her throat to call for attention.

"*AHEM* Listen, we have gathered you here for a special purpose. There is a threat against all of Equestria, a race of evil beings known as the Jall, they wish to take over Equestria and turn it into a giant bonfire." the white alicorn revealed.

"We need you to lead the ponies towards victory, each of you have skills that we need dearly." Luna added.

Cadance pulled up a list and read it, "Egnatius, we need you because you possess great skill in training and directing troops, something we will need in droves if we hope to survive. Joan, we need you because you have the ability to inspire hope in all who are on your side, and right now our morale is very low, and in some cases morale is all we have."

"We need Rick because you're an elite reconnaissance troop, and information is the key. Knowing is half the battle-" Twilight was cut off by the sudden singing of:

"GEE-III JOOOOOOOEEEE!" Brian singing the most memorable part of the GI-JOE show.

"*AHEM* Thaddeus, you are an amazing engineer, and we will need tools, weapons, and vehicles for this war." Twilight said with a deadpan expression.

"Aye, I think I could do that." the large-framed man said, cocking his wrist.

Egnatius looked warily at his supposed allies, which each of their stories, he'd grown more and more hesitant to trust such people, Adolf was okay, if a bit lenient in his enforcement of his civilian-based orders.

Joan was alright, but he wasn't too keen of the idea of a female soldier, and neither was Rick.

Rick was odd, his time was just so far ahead of the Roman's own, that it was as if they were from wholly different worlds.

Thaddeus literally was from a wholly different world, and the acts he'd described the necromancers performing made the legionnaire angry, ONLY A GOD IS ALLOWED TO REVIVE PEOPLE!

Speaking of allowing, Brian was even worse than Rick in the 'different world' aspect. That, and he was clearly a brute, as his willingness to use his destruction-pointer stick weapon was appalling. Any soldier so undisciplined in weapon control was a borderline Barbarian.

"Adolf, you brought a nation from up from sitting on its knees to charging on its feet, you are an amazing leader, and we need you to lead and rally for recruits in the Equestria military." Twilight continued in spite of the tall man's inner thoughts.

"Vill I get a new patch? Zat vun iz... unzuiting to mein new nation." Adolf looked at the swastika pin that Thaddeus was toying with, bending it and twisting it to test its strength.

"Yes, we will get you a new arm-band and pin, the new ones with have Equestria's emblem on it, rather than your swag-stick." the lavender alicorn had tried to take extensive and accurate notes, but Adolf's accent was a bit confusing sometimes.

"Svastika." the German corrected.

"Ah right, sorry, your accent can be a little bit confusing sometimes." if only the studious mare had known what chaos her statement would cause.

"Mein accent? Zey are not even zpeaking proper German!" and that was when the language barrier's absence was brought into question.

"German? I've been hearing nothing but French." Joan argued.

"Last I checked, we were all speakin' American." Rick chimed.

"American isn't a language, fucktard, it's called English." Brian countered

"I do not know what this 'english' is, but I am sure it is highly different from Italian." Egnatius drew his sword and prepared for stabbing time.

"It's English we're speaking, three for English, one for German, one for French, one for Italian, majority votes English, so it's English." Thaddeus calculated.

"Discord, what are they talking about?"

"Oh, well those three didn't speak Equish, so I had to make this enchantment... and I just realized that this could have been made simpler." Discord snapped his talons, "Okay, I've just translated all of their memories into Equish, so now no more confusion."

Joan looked at the supposedly divine being of Chaos, and shook her head in giving up on this case.

"Alright, there's a war on, let's not focus on what language we're speaking when death is happening on our land." Brian ended the argument with a heavy stomp of his boot.

"I accept this sentiment, war is not a matter that we may squander our time with." Egnatius had to agree that, despite practically being a Barbarian, Brian had wise words.

"Yeah, so... this war on these Jall... I gotta say, with all six of us...  friends, family, and god forgive me for how bad this is, but unless you're fighting Jewish English Undead Libertarian Barbarian Terrorists," he pointed at Adolf, Joan, Thaddeus, Rick, Egnatius, and himself in turn, "Then this won't be easy."

"As a matter of fact, with the exception of the first two, all of those traits seem to apply to the Jall." Celestia recalled the information they had on their enemies.

"Well, that is quite convenient." Thaddeus noted, adjusting his goggles.

"Alright, well, the next step of our- hopefully achieved -future victory, we need to induct you all into the Equestrian military, so you'll need to fill out these forms." Twilight levitated over six quickly modified registration papers.

The six were given pencils to fill them out with.

After several minutes a good few questions, the results were in.

Name; First: Egnatius, Middle Initial: ?, Last: Scipio

Sex, circle: (Male) Female

Previous Residence Location: Rome, Roman Empire.

Previous Military Experience (if any):  Head Legionnaire of Legion XXVII

            Guard of the Coliseum of Rome.

            Emperor Guard

Marital and Family Status: Married, II children.

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: V feet X inches tall, CCXX pounds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: tan SC, black HC, brown EC.

Build: that of a strong Roman soldier.

Medical History: I possess immense athletic and dietary health, and am clean of body and mind, through these methods, I have not faced sickness.

Name; First: Joan, Middle Initial: none, Last: d'Arc

Sex, circle: Male (Female)

Previous Residence Location: Paris, Kingdom of France.

Previous Military Experience (if any):  Knight to the Kingdom of France

            The Maid of Orleans

            (?) Sainted for dedication to the Lord Christ.

Marital and Family Status: celibate and abstinent

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: 5 feet 2 inches tall, 120 pounds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: fair SC, brown (originally blond) HC, blue EC.

Build: hardened from years of knight service.

Medical History: I have faced sickness only once in my youth. I avoided the plague. Otherwise nothing abnormal.

Name; First: Rick, Middle Initial: D, Last: Planter

Sex, circle: (Male) Female

Previous Residence Location: Austin, Texas.

Previous Military Experience (if any):  Chief Scout of Regiment 13.

            Dedicated 'Long-Range rifleman'.

            Information gatherer.

Marital and Family Status: unmarried, but I got myself a sweetheart back home.

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: 5'9" tall, 164 pounds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: white SC, brown HC, green EC.

Build: I'm a strong farmer-type guy, but I had to lose some and get some other when I got in the Confederate Army.

Medical History: I ain't dealt with nothin' a few home remedies can't cure; fever, common cold, nose-bleeds, chicken pox, a broken leg once, a broken arm once, that's it.

--

Name; First: Thaddeus, Middle Initial: AD, Last: Steelbone

Sex, circle: (Male) Female

Previous Residence Location: London, Great Britain..

Previous Military Experience (if any): I fought the undead plenty of times, does that count?

            I'm a great engineer, alchemist, priest, mechanic, metallurgist, and fighter.

            I've killed dozens of vampires and werewolves, and thousands of animated skeletons and zombies.

Marital and Family Status: unmarried, no relations.

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: 6'0" tall, two hundred pounds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: light SC, dark brown HC, hazel EC.

Build: large and in charge, AKA stout strength.

Medical History: I was baptized and blessed, curing and protecting me from many necrotic diseases such as to-bone-rot (skeletons), the zombie virus (zombies, obviously), lycanthropy (werewolves), and hemoabomination (vampires). I haven't been sick much else, as I drink holy water daily for protection.

--

Name; First: Adolf, Middle Initial: G, Last: Hitler

Sex, circle: (Male) Female

Previous Residence Location: Berlin, Deutschland.

Previous Military Experience (if any):  der Reichsheer Teilnehmer, Gefreiter Verbindungsmann, 16. Bayerischen Reserve-Regiment, Reichswehr intelligenz

            Führer Duetschland.

Marital and Family Status: verehelicht, ein Kind

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: 5'8" groß, 140 pfunds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: lecht SC, schwarz HC, blau EC.

Build: Zähigkeit und Stärke geschult.

Medical History: viele Male in meiner Jugend ich krank war, nahm meine Mutter um mich gekümmert, ich trat in die Armee und sah viele weitere Krankheiten, die ich mit auf meinem eigenen oder mit begrenzten medizinische Hilfe beschäftigen, war ich in guter medizinischer Zustand, in meiner Zeit als Führer Deutschland

--

Name; First: Brian, Middle Initial: H, Last: Rosenthal

Sex, circle: (Male) Female Yes, please

Previous Residence Location: Base 99, Afghanistan

Previous Military Experience (if any):  Private First Class (PFC) in the United States Army

            Staff Sergeant (SSG) in the United States Army

            Sergeant Major (SGM) in the United States Army

            Professional 6'o'clock Watcher

Marital and Family Status: I have a girlfriend, thank you very much.

Physical statistics.

Height/Weight: 5'11" tall, 180 pounds

Skin, Hair, Eyes: caucasion SC, light brown HC, green and blue EC.

Build: supah tough, mothafucka, CHECK MY GUNS

Medical History: I was sick a whole bunch when I was a kid, but I lived through and built up a super-high resistance to diseases, pretty awesome, I've been through gas attacks and gunfire, and I haven't died yet, so I probably won't at all

PS: nice hair

--

Luna looked up when she read that last line, staring at the modern man.

"Sir Brian, to whom was this directed?" she queried.

"I like her already, goot zpeech pattern." Adolf always adored proper grammar.

"All of you, really, I like anime hair like you all have, it looks nice." Brian replied.

"I admit, this pony place does not seem too bad, if a bit inglorious." Egnatius provided his own opinion.

"Physical deities? It's an amazing sight." Joan remembered how Brian had explained to the others what these five were.

"Jesus was a person, Joan, but this place seems pretty free from governmental meddling." Rick complimented, sitting back slightly further than he normally would.

"I say chaps and... chapette, a good and proper fight sounds like some right-good fun. And I might finally be able to gain access to some magical power." Thaddeus looked at each of the princesses' horns, each one capable of doing magic.

"Iz... goot, very goot, new contry to rays to itz feet, more people to charm, or ponies, in zis case." Adolf still had some fight in him.

"Well... fuck all y'all, let's do this, put your hands in." Brian held out his hand for .

"Agreed, siblings in arms and friends forged in the fires of battle." The Roman put his hand over Brian's.

"To fight, to protect, to save the shedding of innocent blood." The French put her hand over Egnatius'.

"A war fought in the name of our rights, and our freedoms." The Confederate put his hand over Joan's

"To destroy evil who would spit in the face of the sanctity of life." The Englishman put his hand over Rick's

"To zhow zem all, ve vill not be pooshed around, ve vill not stand down, ve vill not back avay." The German put his hand over Thaddeus'

"If we die, we die fighting, if we win, we win with honor, if we retreat, we'll run backwards so that we can see our enemies' faces." The Sergeant took his hand out of the bottom of the stack and put it on top.

"Soldiers, I am your new leader, and remember these words always: If I fight, fight alongside me. And if I attack, attack alongside me. But if I die, avenge my legacy. I am your Sergeant, you are my troops, and you will need to learn to be able to depend on me as much as I will need to learn to be able to depend on you.

"But I am ze leader, zey zaid zo." Adolf pointed to the princesses and Discord.

"You will lead the armies of Equestria, but we are our own squad, so we go by the highest rank amongst ourselves. Therefore, technically, NATO states that your military rank, Gefreiter, is equivalent to OR-2, while my rank, Sergeant Major, is equivalent to OR-9, the highest level. As your leader I hereby name us: The Angels of Death. I'll write down some phrases for us to learn and recite, as well as orders and tactics that I will run by Rick and Adolf. Joan, you will be the head of our PR with Adolf as your backup. Thaddeus, you'll manage our equipment and I'll be your second opinion. Egnatius, you'll manage our training schedule with Rick acting as a balancer." Brian looked at the mostly satisfied faces of his team.

"So, what does PR mean?" Joan asked.

"Public relations, when the ponies ask questions, you're the one who answers them." The leader explained.

"Among uzzer zings." Adolf added.

"Yes... so, our first order of business is a team-building exercise: Let's get some alcohol to celebrate our being a team." Brian's mouth curled into a goofy grin as he watched the others' faces slowly change from confusion into understanding.

The six humans looked at each other, their hard looks of determination gradually softening and become more like restrained emotion.

"What are they doing?" Celestia whisper-asked Twilight

"I'm not sure, but they're starting to look a bit like Pinkie Pie." Twilight whisper-answered.

The tension built up as the five divine beings leaned towards the group.

They were surprised by the first and only sound they made.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAA-HOOHOO-HEEHEE-HAHAHAHAHAAAAHAAAHAHAHAA-" all six humans began laughing uncontrollably.