Little Redd: the Lost Concept of Peace

Chapter Eight

Kill Your Heroes

"I met an old man dying on a train.  No more destination, no more pain.  Well he said 'One thing, before I graduate.  Never let your fear decide your fate.'  I say you Kill Your Heroes and fly, fly, baby don't cry.  No need to worry 'cause everybody will die.  Every day we just go, go, baby don't go.  Don't you worry we love, you, more than you know."

Redd was at the edge of tears, speeding into the Everfree from Sweet Apple Acres and repeating her childhood lullaby to herself.  Pain still lashed up her left legs every time she moved them, but she didn't really care.  All she was concerned with was the happiness she had felt while talking to Apple Bloom.  Her childhood before Discord.  The only part of her life she really wanted to remember.  All of it was reflected at her like a mirror every time she locked eyes with the filly.  The only things Redd held dear to her were her mother's possessions, and the few gifts she had been given for her birthdays.

Her dark red velvet ribbon was given to her on her third Hearth's Warming, and it bobbed on her head for two years.  It had been burned when her mother died in a house fire.  The only thing she had left of her mother was the golden loop she wore around her ankle, which had been a personal piece of her jewelery.  Now every time she looked at it she was plagued by that goddamn Element, dangling around like a tumor next to the brightest thing she owned.  She was angry at herself, because once again she had ruined what might have been a decent chance to have happiness again.  To have a friend again.

Zecora didn't count.  Redd knew that she was just making the potions for her because she was terrified of what Redd would do if she didn't.  What the zebra didn't know was that Discord, nor any of the other Elements, knew that she was trying to hide what she was.  Sure, they knew that she was, in fact, a spy, but they didn't know that she hated it.  They didn't know she despised being born to be destructive.  That she was considering poisoning herself.  That was always tickling the back of her mind, suicide.  But Redd knew that would disappoint her.

Her mother.  Deepest Care.

Zecora jumped at the sudden crack! of her door opening and smacking into the wall.  Redd stood there distraught and panting, a single tear moving down her cheek.  Zecora didn't say anything, she just stopped meditating and got the mare her mixture in a tea format.  Shutting the door behind her, Redd stepped into a dark corner of the room and laid down with her back to the room, her midriff occasionally spasming in silent sobs.  After a moment, the zebra could've sworn she heard the bits and pieces of a quieting song rising from the pony.  After two or three minutes, the tea was boiling and Redd had stopped moving.  Zecora walked over and silently placed a cup a few feet away from Redd.  She still didn't move.

"You're afraid of me, aren't you?"

Zecora's eyes darkened, and she stirred her cauldron.

"Indeed, you are a fearsome mare.  But you still reflect Deepest Care."

Unbeknownst to Zecora, Redd smiled as another tear slid down her face.

"Thank you."

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Redd was calm again as she left Zecora's home, walking into the Everfree for awhile before shimmering away under her signature red coat of magic.

She reappeared in the Everfree, exactly where she was before, except there were crying orcas flying around above her.  Except now, they were covered in various colored polka dots, and crying snow.  And, they were upside-down.  Ever since Discord thought he was getting predictable, he'd been going a bit over the edge.

Why do you have to speak, Gilded? She thought shaking her head as the thought was replaced by Sunshine.  Literally.

"Sunshine, sunshine, it's fine, I feel it in my skin, warmin' up my mind, sometimes you gotta give in to when, I love the days when it shines.  Ohh, let it shine."

She suddenly realized she'd been singing the same four songs to herself all day.  Just the choruses too, besides the lullaby.  She decided to finish out the song this time.

"If I could, I would keep this feelin' in a plastic jar, bust it out whenever someone's actin' hard.  Settle down, barbeque in the back yard, the kids get treats and old folks get classic cars.  Every day gets to pass as a success, and every woman looks better in a sundress, the sunshine's an excuse to shoot hoops, get juice, sure improve those moves and let loose... "

She strode towards Dark Ponyville, and sighed as the mangled, familiar little village came into view.  Glancing off towards Sweet Apple Acres, another tear threatened to boil over her eyes as she saw Apple Bloom frantically trying to keep Rainbow Dash and Applejack from getting a hit on one another.  Even at this distance, Redd could barely make out a large rip in Bloom's bow.  She turned away from the scene, and looked down at her mother's bracelet, the Element of Chaos lying right there next to it.  Like a demon on her shoulder, the Element constantly urged her to do something, anything, to break her calm streak.  It was making the impatience, the fury, worse.  But she couldn't take it off.  She had been specifically instructed not to, and that if she did, her ties to True Equestria would be cut.  Yet, Deepest Care's bracelet had sentimental value, and the memories etched across it urged her to fight the chaos.  She had never known what she had to do so clearly, but she was utterly lost as to how to go about doing it.  She simply wasn't good at being good.

Pinkamina passed by her in the direction of Sugarcube Corner, likely to make more mud pies.  Rarity trudged by in a bathrobe with a cold cup of coffee in her hand, looking like she'd just rolled out of bed.  Fluttershy could be seen across the square, swatting bugs away in the sweltering heat of the orca-tear-snow.  Then Redd saw her opposite stepping out of the library, her hooves dragging across the ground.  Twilight Sparkle had lost faith in friendship long ago, her depressed gaze showing no signs of life or emotion within.  Her faded colors were barely even there, just so you could tell what color she was supposed to be.  Nearly brushing shoulder with her, Twilight passed by Redd without a glance.

"Hey, sis."

"Hullo... Twilight."

Redd's head lowered, her eyes closed, and fury began to build within her chest.  Zecora's potion was only able to sedate so much.  Her ankle burned where the Element of Chaos came in contact with her, but she didn't care.  She didn't care about anything right then.  Her jaw set, her dark eyes flashed open, a crack of red invading her pupil.

"... I can't let this shit happen."