Prologue
Discord, the Lord of Chaos, rode through the skies on a jet ski while peering down at Equestria below. It had been a year since his reformation and as much as he hated to admit it, he was bored out of his not so sane mind. He had not been able to do anything deliciously chaotic since he bodyswapped the Royal Sisters and was getting bored with spicing up life for those who were too set in their ways to have a little fun now and then. Such as making all the sofas in Sofas and Quills sentient and temporarily turning Filthy Rich's bits into chocolate coins.
However, it was the nature of chaos to want to do more than trivial pranks all the time. So, it was during one of rare moments of deep thought that he began pondering a way to entertain himself. "All these ponies are a fun bunch to throw a curve ball at every now and again, but I feel like something's... lacking."
A second smaller Discord blinked into existence in front of him, sitting on the handlebars. "Indeed. We could always relocate some individuals here and watch the fireworks." The original draconequus was silent for a few seconds, thinking. "Isn't that a tad bit... unoriginal. I mean the last time we did this all we ended up with was a lizard...minotaur thing who sent ponies flying by shouting at them and pony in armor who kept running about screaming 'praise the sun' .'" "I don't see you coming up with any better ideas," the miniature Discord said, putting his hands on his hips. "How could I argue with such a handsome individual," the original Discord said earning a blush from his duplicate. "But how to choose, how to choose?" he added, scratching his chin with his talon.
The smaller discord opened his hand and large swirling black orb appeared in his hand. "Ah, my Interplanetary Viewing Ball! Let's take it for a spin shall we?"
The larger Discord used a cloud as a ramp and vaulted it while the second Discord threw the Ball up into the sky and blinked out of existence. The second one then reappeared full size and caught it in hand again. The black orb suddenly began hovering in the air above his hand and spinning wildly. Planets began flickering wildly as the ball spinned till it finally slowed down, settling on one that was a majestic blue marble.
The original Discord landed the jet ski with a double somersault and a trio of flying tuna give him a ten rating all round, cheering in approval. He gazed down upon the multicolored marble, able to see is inhabitants below. "Some sort delightfully chaotic race of hair and furless minotaurs, what fantastically odd creatures. But there's so many of them, how to choose?"
He then slapped the orb sending it into a rapid spin. After several seconds, he poked the spinning orb with one of his talons. The ball stopped dead in its tracks and zoomed down to a bird's eye view of the planet's surface. It now showed a long white, yellow and black mechanical contraption driving along a paved road.
"I think we got our lucky winners," Discord said, chuckling.
It had been a long day for everyone in Mr. Jameson's high school robotics class and they were all happy to be back on their way home. They had just spent the day on a field trip to an R&D lab for an electronics company. And now, the eleven students and their teacher rode along in a bus back to school along a country road.
As they drove along, the bus suddenly began to lurch violently and came to a stop. Confused, the driver and Mr. Jameson get out of the bus to inspect the engine. As the two men pull open the hood, little do they notice the brief flash of light from inside the bus. And after a few minutes of poking their heads around and not finding anything wrong, the two men close up the hood and reboard the bus.
Only to find it empty.
The royal city of Canterlot: The gilded crown jewel of Equestria. In one of its many parks, a pair of ponies were sleeping. One, a small red unicorn mare was fast asleep on a park bench, her burgundy mane tied back in a simple ponytail. The other pony, sleeping not that far away, was a light blue pegasus stallion whose mane was several shades darker suffered from a severe case of bedhead.
Yawning, the stallion opened his teal eyes. Chris came to realize that he was lying on the ground. The grass he was lying on was the softest he had ever felt and the breeze against his fur felt…
Fur?!?
His eyes, which had been slowly closing, sprang open in shock. He could not have fur... could he? Slowly, fearfully, he began to lift an arm into view. What would he find? He had no clue and that is what terrified him.
Chris's eyes went wide as something entered his vision.
It wasn’t an arm. It was a leg, ending in a hoof. He quickly rolled over and checked the rest of his body. Legs were still legs, but most definitely hind legs, also ending in hooves. A pair of wings protruded about halfway down his side and short blue tail sprouted from his backside, several shades darker than his light blue coat.
For a moment, he wanted to scream but he quickly pushed that thought out of his mind. Now was not the time for panicking, now was the time to assess the situation and figure out where in the heck he was. Panicking could come later.
He then stood up. The ease of using four legs instead of two felt unnatural, but he pushed that thought out of his mind, as well. Taking a few experimental steps, he made his way over to the mare sleeping on the bench. He then gave the mare a gentle poke in the ribs.
Nothing happened.
He poked her again, a little harder this time.
His efforts earned him a groan and some unintelligible mumbling.
"Ummm Ma'am, would you mind telling me where I am? I seem to be lost," he asked. More mumbling answered him.
"Miss, I could-" he stopped mid-sentence. He knew that voice! A smile grew across his face, he was not alone here! "Sage! Sage!" Chris began shaking the mare, "Sage, wake up! We got a bit of a situation here!"
Startled, the mare's eyes popped open and she stared directly at Chris. "Ch...Chris?" She asked.
He nodded, "Yeah, it's me."
"Oh... Okay," she said faintly and she fainted.
Loading file...
A://ohlookimapony.exe...
Running...
You've woken up inside of a strange house in a land full of pastel colored ponies. You are also a pony. A fancy unicorn with a blue mustache is pointing a rapier at you, calling you a thief...
What do you do?
>Commence Panic?
"AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"
"Get back here you insolent shrew!"
Logan screamed for his life as he bolted down the street, ponies staring in confusion. A well-dressed unicorn was close behind, swinging a rapier at him with telekinetic grip.
"I'M TELLING YOU, I DONT KNOW HOW I GOT IN YOUR LIVING ROOM!!!"
"You are as bad at lying as you are a Thief! Nopony steals from Fancy Pants!!!"
"I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!!!!"
"Look Sage," Chris said, annoyed, "I was just sitting in the back, listening to music off my phone when the bus stopped. I saw Mr. Jameson and the driver get off the bus and then I woke up not fifteen feet from where I'm standing."
"How do I know you did not have anything to do with this?" She replied accusingly, crossing her forelegs.
Chris let out an annoyed sigh. Was she really asking that damn question? The one that is always in every poorly written B-movie. "Sage," he began, "If I, for some unknown reason, was somehow somehow behind this. Do you think I wouldn't know where we are and how we got here?"
After a few seconds of silent thought, she facehoofed, "let's just forget that ever happened."
"Agreed," Chris replied, "And let's figure out where we are exactly," she added, looking around, "Check that fountain, there may be so-"
"Why, my two dimensionally displaced kids, you're in Equestria of course!"
Both of theme stopped in their tracks, eyes wide. "You didn't say that, Chris, did you?" "No..."
"Well, if you want to be technical, you're in Canterlot." The voice was coming from behind them!
Slowly, fearfully, they both turned around... only to find nothing. "What the... Show yourself!" Sage shouted.
"Now what fun is there in that?" the voice said, chuckling, "you humans are always so bossy: 'What have you done to me?', 'Where am I?', 'Take me home'." The voice laughed, a creepy unsettling laugh that sent a chill down both their spines, "I might as well introduce myself: I am Discord, God of Chaos and your gracious host here in Equestria. I regret the fact that I am not able to meet you in person."
"Wait....what!?!" Chris asked, interrupting.
"Please hold your questions till the end of the presentation Mister Mulvany" the voice continued, "Yes, I'm speaking to you through your mind and yes, I do know your names, but that is not important right now. What is, is that one of your friends, a 'Logan', is in danger of becoming a shishkebab in three... two..."
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY BASTARD!!!!"
"Get back here so I can gut you like a fish!"
"I DIDN'T STEAL A THING!!!!!"
"Oh well, my timing was a bit off... TTFN, Ta Ta For Now"
Both turned around to see a white unicorn with a light blue mane, running for his life with a well dressed unicorn with a blue mustache in hot pursuit, swinging a rapier at the stallion.
"STOP!!!" Sage screamed stomping her hoof down. Both ponies skidded to a halt and stared at her, confused.
"There you are," she said, hurrying over to Logan, "We've been looking all over for you!" "Sage!?!" He said between gasps of air.
"This stallion is your friend?" Fancy Pants asked her, huffing for air, his eyes never leaving Logan. "Yes, he is," she replied, getting between the two, "Now why may I ask, are you cashing my dear friend here with a sword, threatening to 'gut him like a fish'?"
"Your friend broke into my house and had the audacity to fall asleep on my living room sofa," He answered, "and then he lied, saying he had no idea how he got there!"
"I think I can explain that," she began, gesturing at Chris and Logan, "the three of us had gone out to celebrate my birthday yesterday at a bar and we all drank far too much. When we woke up this morning, he was missing and we've been searching every park nook and cranny we could find till now."
"And how do you explain the fact he broke in? My mansion has one of, if not the best, security system in all of Canterlot," he questioned, staring down Sage.
"I honestly don't know," she replied, returning Fancy Pants's glare. With that statement, what little color Logan had seemed drain from him, as if he had just been given a death sentence. "But Mister Pants," she continued, "attempted murder is a little harsh don't you think?"
"But he broke into my house," he retorted, "and the law clearly says it is my right to protect my property"
"By chasing a poor hungover drunk to the point of exhaustion?" "Look," she then added, "he didn't steal a thing. Why don't you just let bygones be bygones and stop trying to impale my friend here?"
"All right," he finally replied, "just keep your friend away from the bottle. I don't think any of us want a repeat of this incident," and with that he left.
As soon as Fancy Pants was out of sight, Chris, who had been silent the entire time, suddenly fell to the ground, rolling in laughter. "That accent.... He sounded like he should be on Dowton Abby..." Sage rolled her eyes and Logan facehoofed at their friend's random outburst. "Is that you Sage?" Logan asked, ignoring the laughter. "Yep, it's me. And that bundle of laughter is Chris," she said, sighing.
"... What's next... We going to run into a guard yelling 'Stop Right There, Criminal Scum!'..."
A grey bat pony jumped up and down in excitement, a massive smile adorning his face. All the other bronies can suck it, he was in Equestria!
What to do? Where to go? He gleefully giggled like a child on Christmas Morning at the sheer number of possibilities.
"Look out Equestria," he proclaimed to the heavens, "here comes Brad Ansley!!!"
Unknown to Brad, a certain Draconequus was watching him. "This one'll be entertaining," he said, chuckling.
Author's Note
All I got to say is this took forever and a day to write.
Questions, comments, concerns? You know where to post 'em!