The Folly of a Distant Mind

Twilight Sparkle sat up with a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she made her way out of bed. It was a beautiful spring morning, just the perfect temperature and not a cloud in the sky. Sparing a proud smile for the talented Ponyville weather team, the purple alicorn meandered her way downstairs, going through the motions of preparing breakfast as she mentally compiled a checklist of all the things she needed to do before the sun set. It was a fairly meager list all things considered. No doubt she would end up with some spare time, and would be able to do something with her friends later. The thought brought a pleasant smile to her face, completing the peaceful mood of the morning. Truly, it was a beautiful day in Ponyville, and everything was going to be-

Upstairs, a certain young purple dragon belched loudly. This was immediately followed by a shout of surprise, a sequence of violent crashes, and a low groan from the groggy assistant. "I'm up," he called weakly down the stairs.

"Spike! Was that from the princess?" Twilight called up, defly pouring pancake batter into a sizzling frying pan in perfect circles.

Spike quickly rubbed the sleep from his eyes and checked the scroll laying beside him. Sure enough, it was enclosed with the official royal seal, still hot from when it had been applied. "Yeah," he called back down. "Looks sorta important, too."

"All right, bring it down while I finish breakfast," Twilight replied, desperately hoping it wouldn't be something that would interfere with the day's schedule. Wishful thinking, no doubt.

Spike stumbled downstairs, still walking the line between lucidity and unconsciousness. Trading the letter for a plate of pancakes, he hopped onto his chair and began to wolf them down, steadily taking the edge off his tiredness. Spike was definitely not a morning person.

Meanwhile, Twilight quickly broke the seal and skimmed the message, only to do a sudden double take and reread it, this time much more thoroughly. "Spike!" she cried, rushing over and pulling him away from his food, hastily herding him towards the door. "No time to eat! Run to each of the elements and tell them to pack only the essentials and meet me at the train station in time for the next train to Canterlot!"

Spike, now fully awake but far more confused, sputtered, "but that's in barely half an hour!"

A manic glint in her eye as she shoved him out the door, Twilight replied, "Then run faster!" Immediately she spun around and rushed back into her home, ripping books off the shelves and stacking them in the middle with wild abandon.

"...What are you doing?" asked Spike with trepidation.

"Packing the essentials!" she replied with a crazed, desperate sort of giggle. "Now GO!"

Realizing his surrogate sister was much too far gone for him to get any more out of her, and figuring she must have a rather good reason for the need for speed, Spike immediately turned tail and ran as fast as his stubby legs could carry him. He would have to get answers later.

A bead of sweat ran down Celestia's normally pristine muzzle, gathering at the lowest point before making its silent way down to the distant floor. It went unnoticed, the sun princess's gaze firmly locked on her opponent. It all came down to this hand. She had forced him in, and he had taken the bait. Should he win the hand, he would be back in the game, bouncing back to nearly one third of the chips, more than enough for a comeback. If she won, however, it would be over. The human had proved a valiant adversary. His pokerface was one of the best she'd seen - not surprisingly, as it seemed to be his default expression even when not playing the game - and his grasp of the strategies was top notch. However, the princess had thousands of years' experience reading ponies, and humans were not much different. In the end, she found even he had cracks in his mask, and his strategies, too, were just a little bit outdated. There was a reason Celestia was universally considered the uncontested champion of poker, and though this human had come closer than most, in the end even he seemed to come up a bit short.

The final card was flipped - not that Celestia needed it. Her hand was already complete, the nearly unbeatable Royal Suite - and though it was technically possible for him to have gotten a Crown Jewel, the odds of that were astronomically slim. With an excited breath, the ruler of Equestria flipped over her cards, relishing the collective gasp of her guards as they saw what she had. Across the table, the human let out a little chuckle, a strange glint in his eyes as he unceremoniously flipped over his cards. Celestia braced for what could only be a dramatic, sudden shift in momentum, with her opponent inexplicably revealing the elusive Crown Jewe-

Huh.

In reality, he didn't even have anything special. A valuable hand, sure, but nothing close to beating her Royal Suite. Celestia stared, a little frown on her face. She had... won? It was just so very anticlimactic. Perhaps he had thought she was bluffing. He did seem to have trouble reading her pokerface throughout the game. Oh well, it had still been quite the exciting game, and far more of a challenge than she had had in centuries. With a shrug, the alicorn smugly pulled the chips in with the rest of her pile, relishing in the sweet taste of victory.

Amid the enthusiastic cheering of her guards, Celestia turned to Rough Patch, saying playfully, "Mr. Dealer, I believe I would like to cash these in."

Rough Patch rolled his eyes with a grin, pushing the pile of bits over to his superior. "Not bad, Princess. I see you haven't lost your touch."

"Pfft," the immortal goddess let out a rather unladylike snort. "As if."

Across the table, Sturdy Ground sat pouting over the loss of so many bits. "Dang it, dude! You didn't even put up a fight! She squeezed you like a sponge. If I hadn't just seen you beat the guards' best players, I wouldn't have even known you were good at the game, the way she trounced you!"

The human, calm as ever, looked to his accomplice blankly. Shrugging a little, he gestured to the bag sitting next to them, filled with exactly fifty golden bits.

Sturdy nodded. "I suppose you're right, it's not like you're walking away empty-hooved. Or handed, as the case may be." The night guard sighed as he was met once again with a blank stare. "You really need to work on that whole 'speaking our language' thing. I've got a bit of a nagging feeling that that might help you out some."

As Celestia cleared her throat, the entire room immediately calmed down, all mouths closed and all eyes fixed on the princess. "Thank you," she began gracefully. "Now, while this was certainly an entertaining diversion, it is about time we all got back to work. The next shift will start presently, and I will not tolerate lateness on the excuse of having spent too long watching a poker game. Sturdy Ground, you have been off duty for a couple hours now. I suggest you get some sleep, as you will be expected to resume your duties at six o'clock this evening, with no exceptions. Now - where is Private Iron Skies?"

As a dozen different guardsponies scrambled to help their ruler locate Private Iron Skies, Sturdy Ground sighed and yawned, suddenly realizing he was far more tired than he previously thought. As he began to move away, a hand stopped him. Turning back in surprise, he noticed the man looking at him blankly. No - it wasn't a blank stare. The emotions were just very carefully regulated. Sturdy couldn't claim to be able to read them, certainly, but still he could tell they were there. It was a relieving revelation, knowing that behind his calm mask the strange human felt emotions in the same way all ponies did. It made him less unnerving. Suddenly snapping out of his thoughts, the unicorn realized his charge had counted out twenty bits, and was insistently pushing them towards the pony.

Sturdy frowned, pushing half the bits back to the human. "I'll accept a return on my investment, but nothing more," he said firmly. The man frowned as well, accepting five bits but pushing the other five back towards Sturdy. His eyes insisted there would be no further argument, and Sturdy accepted with a sigh. "Fine. You win, I'll take your money. Next time, though," he continued with a smirk, "you had better come through with a bigger haul than this. This could be a profitable venture for the two of us, you know."

"Not giving our guest any bad ideas, are we Private Sturdy Ground?"

Sturdy gave a very undignified yelp and spun around with a salute. "Princess Celestia! My apologies, I didn't know you were there." With an uncomfortable glance at the human, the guard added, "Besides, it's not like he can understand me or anything."

"While that may be true, I will not have you roping the one human this side of the Outlands into any silly get-rich-quick schemes," Celestia replied sternly. "Anyway, you are free to leave. Doubtless you are tired."

Nodding hastily, Sturdy grabbed his bits and trotted away, thankful he got away with that one with naught but a short reprimand.

"Now, with that out of the way," continued Celestia, "Private Iron Skies, this is the 'human' I was talking to you about. Do you feel capable of doing what I explained to you?"

Iron Skies looked over the human with distaste. "This degenerate carnivore? The same one who caused a large disturbance gambling raucously with the low-class guardsfolk?"

Celestia glared straight ahead, struggling to maintain her calm demeanor. "No, Private Iron Skies," she replied in an icy tone, "that was me."

It caused her no small degree of satisfaction to watch him go white as a sheet and nervously try to stutter his way out of his previous statement.

"I will take that as an affirmative, then," she stated after a few moments of his stumbling over his own words. "See to it that no harm comes to either the human or any of my subjects under your watch, Private. Now, I must leave our guest under your care. It is time for the Day Court."

Luna ate her breakfast in silence. It was not unusual for her sister to be absent during breakfast - she had a busy schedule, after all - but this time Luna was sure it had something to do with the strange human. She hoped everything was all right, but even if everything was not so, she knew her sister would have it covered. Yawning, she made her way out of the dining hall, too tired to care much. I hope he's not still in my bedroom, she thought with a frown. I don't like my spare, it's all dusty.