Awry

by Habanc

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3189

Celestia and Cadence prepare for some revenge, but things don't go quite as planned.

After arriving in Canterlot, Cadence joins her Aunt Celestia for some good 'ol fun pranking Luna and Twilight, Canterlot's newest love birds. However, in the midst of their good fun, it all goes bad. Cadence ends up getting more than she bargained for.

Published 2014-03-24 02:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-24 02:00:02 UTC

Awry

Celestia set down her tea cup. It shined in the midday sun, resting on top of a floral tablecloth. She breathed in through her nose, enjoying the scent of freshly-trimmed grass and pollen. The gardens in summer was a wonderful place to be. A luncheon with tea only made it better.

"It is great to see you again, Auntie."

Celestia looked up and smiled at Cadence. "Why thank you. It's been a while since we've been able to enjoy each other's company, hasn't it?"

"It has," Cadence replied with a grin. "I was excited to find out that our schedules match up somewhere, with this being the only weekend I'm in Canterlot for the summer." She sipped from her cup. "Now, this plan of yours... will it work?"

"Certainly. The spell's signature is very similar to the one that keeps my mane afloat. Neither of them would be able to detect a difference."

"Oh, good." Cadence sighed in relief. "I have to say, I'm looking forward to this. No offense to her, as she really was a sweetheart, but Twilight could be a terrible brat as a foal. The amount of times she made me want to tear my mane out..." she shook her head. "It'd be nice to get back at her for once."

Celestia chuckled. "Oh, of course. The number of nights I had to fish that filly out of the restricted section of the library, nearly twice a week if you would believe it. Meanwhile, that sister of mine... She can still be quite a brat when she throws her tantrums."

Cadence clapped her hooves together. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"Remember, stealth is the key. If either of them knows something is up, we are done for." Celestia lit her horn with magic. "Now, hold still, and give the spell a moment or two to work. I'll go first when I know it's ready."

A bond formed between Celestia's horn and Cadence's, alight with golden energy. The younger alicorn looked around nervously, feeling nothing as the transaction took place. Then, the spell ended, and the lunch party fell silent.

Celestia pressed her lips together, staring at her. She shrugged and nodded her head from side to side, waiting for some indiscernible amount of time to pass. Birds tweeted, leaves swayed in their trees, but neither pony spoke. The generous sun beat down upon them, where it would've been teetering on the edge of comfortability were it not for the gentle breeze flowing throughout the garden.

Just when Cadence was about to blurt out her curiosity and impatience, she heard it:

There we are, dear niece. We should be fine for the next half hour.

Cadence blinked. If Celestia's lips weren't locked shut, she could've swore she said it openly. But no, here were thoughts running between minds. This was incredible! This was so smart. Thinking upon the last thought, Cadence decided that, for Celestia, something like this was to be expected. She was brilliant.

You flatterer, Celestia's voice rung in her head. While the sentiment is appreciated, this is actually a very old, very simple spell that most ponies have forgotten. Its use is simple; as long as your mouth is closed, all of your thoughts will be sent to your partner in crime, as it were. Otherwise, whether you are speaking or keeping your mouth ajar, your ability to communicate like this will be blocked.

Okay, got it.

Good. Celestia smiled at her, before looking down a cobblestone path. Ah, and here are the two swans now. Don't look at them just yet! Let me wave like this. Yes, hello girls, I see you! There, you may look now.
The two walked side-by-side, almost stepping in tune with each other. Both wore saddlebags, Twilight's currently stuffed to the brim with literature. Luna's bags were considerably less strained, and therefore their contents unknown. But both looked comfortable with the other, trading inaudible murmurs and giggles. Cadence could tell why Celestia asked for her assistance.

So, how long has this been going on for?

Oh heavens, months! Celestia smiled at the two mares as they sat down – together, on one side of the table, leaving it awkwardly imbalanced. Half the staff already gossips about it, and I couldn't believe my ears when I picked up on some of their lies!

"Twilight!" Cadence cried, smiling warmly at her former foalsittee. "It's great to see you!"

"Cadence! How are you! Is Shining okay? He isn't being bossy, is he?" Twilight took off her bags and let them rest in the grass.
Cadence pressed her lips together and shrugged. I mean, there are certain times when Shining is certainly more than okay, where his bossiness is very—

Cadence, please, restrain yourself!

Dropping her jaw, she glanced briefly over to Celestia. For all it was worth, she had kept a straight face, watching on with no sign of turmoil. Then, remembering their plan, she quickly veered back to Twilight, and shrugged again.

"Oh, you know how Shining is," she laughed. "But anyway, I'm good, and Shining is too!"

"Sister," Celestia came in, "I am curious where you've been all morning. Have you and Twilight been reading again?"

They have reading dates? Cadence asked.

More or less.

Aw, that's adorable! I'm so happy for Twilight, they seem really cute together, Cadence mused as Luna offered a response in the affirmative. Just look at the look Twilight's giving Luna while she's talking. Aww.

It was cute. Celestia's voice was like steel. While I truly am glad for both of them, this bout of courting has gone on long enough. If Luna comes to me about Twilight even one more time, I swear by Creation itself that I'll toss her in Twilight's room and not allow either to leave until somepony makes a move.

"Well, I shall alert the Vukodlak emissary that, once again, their meeting will be postponed." Celestia remarked, bearing no hint of anger or disapproval in her voice. "They weren't in the lightest of moods after being stood up this morning, but who could blame them? My heart goes out to those Vukodlak miners that were trapped last week. I hope they are recovering well."

"Oh my goodness, doesn't it sound scary?" Cadence added in. "To be sunk into total darkness like that, all alone?"

"Yeah," Twilight agreed with a shudder. "It seems horrifying."

"The darkness isn't scary." Luna crossed her forelegs. "It is actually quite relaxing, once you have acclimated to it."

Does she have plans to teach Twilight that? Cadence wondered.

Cadence!

Right, sorry! Opening her mouth a crack, Cadence focused back in on the conversation.

"So, Cadence, what brings you to Canterlot?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, you know, Crystal Kingdom business. I'm disappointed that Shining wasn't able to come with me, though."

"Wait, why not?" Twilight leaned closer. "Is he getting all moody again?"

"No, no," Cadence replied with a chuckle. "He's just so busy with forming the Crystal Guard that he doesn't have time to come down. It's a shame too, because we had this whole weekend planned out for when I wasn't working." She sighed, pressing her lips together in a frown.

Help me out, Celestia.

"I'm sorry, that's unfortunate." Celestia set her glowing teacup down. "I hope it wasn't too extravagant, I would hate for all of your time and bits to go to waste."

"Well, it was a tad on the pricy side." Cadence sighed. "Reserved seats to the philharmonic, a couple dinner reservations, you know. He realized last night that he didn't have the time to go, and I still have the tickets and everything in my bags."

Well played, the solar alicorn commended. However, I'm curious. Is this all a matter of coincidence?

"What are you going to do with them then?" Twilight asked. "Just throw them out?"

"That's what might happen, unfortunately." Cadence let her shoulders slump. Auntie, what ever are you insinuating? I'm just making conversation. With a sparkle in her eyes, Cadence popped back up, a sly grin working on her face. "That is, unless, you have some cute stallion you'd like to go out with."

Cadence, she's not interested-

Yes, yes, I know. But look at her and Luna.

Twilight sat, frozen in awkward shock, jaw unhinged. Color rose to her cheeks as she blinked at Cadence. Luna looked on in muted horror, eyes locked in on Twilight. Her chest did not move, breath locked up tight. Twilight lips slowly began to work up and down, but nothing came out. She looked from Celestia to Cadence, still hopelessly trying to articulate her spaghetti thoughts.

You seem to have disabled her.

I know... I really didn't expect it to be this bad.

Allow me to have a go, please. Celestia coughed. Leveling her eyes with Luna, she asked, "Well, if not Twilight, would the offer still hold for my sister?"

"Of course," Cadence answered.

Snapping from her terror-grip, Luna's eyes widened. "Huh? Me? I– no. No, no no no." She tapped her hooves together. "No, I possibly couldn't– I can't. No." She cast her gaze to the grass. "I mean, there's nopony– I cannot, I don't know what mare..."

"Oh, so it's a mare you're interested in?" Cadence asked politely.

"What?!" Luna nearly shot off the ground, wings puffing out. Her words clattered out in a constant stream. "N– n– no, I never said such a thing! It was merely hypothetical– just fantasy! Of course, yes, I prefer mares," she blushed as she explained, "but I couldn't– I'm, I'm too shy."

"Aw, why would you ever let that get in the way?" Cadence smiled at her encouragingly. "Just ask her to go with you."

Twilight, finally awake from her stupor, caught enough of the conversation to ignite her muscles into action. She turned her head towards Luna, her jaw still ajar.

This is the first time I have ever seen Luna so... riled up. Celestia mused. She's never been one to blush often, and here she is, cheeks as red as fire!

"It's not that easy! I couldn't be expected to..." Luna shook her head, rotating to keep Twilight out of her peripherals. "No, I don't know how you ponies got the idea in your head that... that..."

"What idea?" Cadence asked innocently. "Luna, as the alicorn of love, it just seems to me that there is somepony. Of course, I'm not perfect, but–"

"Exactly!" Luna exclaimed. "I'm just– I just..." Her stare flicked between Celestia and Cadence, helpless and stressed. After a moment of silence, she hung her head and resigned, "Can we talk about something else?"

Cadence shrugged, as if nothing had happened. "Sure. The tickets are still there if you want them, though."

Luna hardly grunted in reply. She looked out and away from the table, blushing profusely. Twilight's eyes were still on her, oblivious to the rest of the world. The birds chirped, the sun poured down on them all, but it did little to lift the stifling tension in the air.

"Cadence, while you're here, I'd like to ask about the novel you've been writing. You haven't kept me up to date on your progress," Celestia mentioned.

That didn't go quite as planned, Cadence grumbled. "Oh, I'm sorry! Unfortunately, I haven't had much time to work on it."

I know. It's frustrating that nopony, not even you of all, can bring these two together. "That's too bad. I liked what you had so far."

Has Luna ever been with another pony? Cadence shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it was decent."

No, she hasn't. Celestia revealed. She was never much– wait, do you hear them whispering? Don't look! She smiled. "Come now, it had a good start to it, it certainly interested me."

Twilight shuffled closer to Luna. Tunnel vision robbed her field of vision, seeing just over the midnight mare's shoulder and to her trembling hooves. The sway of conversation dimmed to a hum, and even the sun lowered its glare. A dry lump had caught in her throat, one that croaked her words and kept her from breathing. Her heart was slamming against its cage like a wild beast, as shivers arced down her sides. But a force willed her to continue, to go on. She hadn't even known it existed until now, but here it was, tossing her stomach back and forth like a raft in a storm.

"Luna...?"

The alicorn turned her head slightly, a blue iris zipping to the corner of her eye, holding a trembling gaze upon her.

"Are you alright?" Twilight whispered.

Luna shrugged and remained mute. She continued her watch on her, but other than that, did nothing.

Twilight frowned. "Say something. You're starting to worry me." She sat on the ground and moved not even a muscle, her mind running crazy as she waited for a response. Why isn't she saying anything? She's never like this! What put her in this mood? She watched as Luna sat quietly, looking back at her, her cheeks twitching and eyes wavering ever so slightly. The waiting and the worry was about to kill her.

"There's nothing to say," Luna managed. "Clearly you hold feelings for some other pony."

"What?" the words hopped from her mouth. Twilight was nearly bowled over in confusion, her thoughts so frayed and frantic that they were illegible. "Feelings? For who? For what other pony?"

Luna looked away and sagged towards the ground. "For that stallion Cadence talked about, of course. It's quite clear to me now. No matter what I did, or what I'd do, I could not and can not be enough."

Her puzzlement soared sky-high. "What? Luna, what are you talking about? There is no stallion." She sighed. "I mean, I don't even like stallions... in that way, I mean."

Luna snapped back, looking her in the eyes. "What? You– you don't?"

"No," Twilight shook her head, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. "Why are you acting like this? I don't understand."

Luna stared at her, paralyzed. She was breathing heavily, shrill gusts of air blowing through her nose. Her gaze gripped Twilight like a clamp, refusing to let go.

"Luna, what is it?" Anxiety welled up in Twilight's gut. She couldn't tell how or why, but she knew something was looming just beyond the horizon. Something was about to happen, and what worried her the most was that she no clue what it was.
In a flash of light, soft lips pressed against her, retreating on a dime.

Twilight sat there, her thoughts clawing at the air for anything to latch onto. There wasn't. Her mind was an empty space, a hollow void with nothing to fill it. The ponies had switched places. Twilight was paralyzed, unable to do anything beyond breathing and blinking. Luna, on the other hoof, was alive. Her cheeks were quickly heating to a crimson, her eyes flickering from Twilight to the ground.

She didn't have much time to wait, however, as Twilight quickly returned the favor. A quick peck on the lips, scooting herself right beside her, keeping their faces within inches of each other. Luna, emboldened, kissed her back, letting her lips linger for a while.

This was precisely when Cadence allowed herself a peek.

I just don't understand. Restraint– oh my gosh, they're kissing! Cadence gasped.

Celestia looked over at the two, and then looked back. Thank goodness.

Why don't you sound happy? Cadence asked, flabbergasted, as their superficial conversation floated on in the background. I mean, this is adorable! Just look at them! ...Well, not for too long. I guess it would probably be cuter if weren't sitting right beside them, but still! Aww, Twilight, stop being so precious.

On another day, far in the future, perhaps I will look back on this fondly. Right now, though, I am more relieved than anything. Finally I can sleep without somepony invading my dreams to talk. Or eat cake without somepony barging into my room. Or maybe even take a bath without somepony spiritually pouring out of my faucet.

Come on, stop being such a stick in the mud, Auntie. Cadence sighed. This is new love, isn't it wonderful? Just look. She stole another peek, but this time held it as surprise gripped her. Oh... wow. They're really getting into it, aren't they? she realized, finally prying her gaze away from the tangle of hooves and manes.

Celestia, sipping from her teacup, glared at her from above its rim. Please don't tell me they're using tongue already.

Wh- what?! Cadence sputtered inwardly as their vocal conversation died. Then again, nopony seemed to notice.

Well, are they?

I– I didn't check! Cadence's face heated up. Why don't you go over and ask them, if it's so important to you?

I couldn't do such a thing. Luna is my sister, and frankly, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. However, my dear niece, with you being the bearer of love, I felt you would be most attuned to this sort of thing. I would prefer to leave them alone if anything gets heated.

Just because I hold a connection to love, doesn't mean I enjoy prying into other ponies' love lives! Especially not my Aunt and sister-in-law's, Cadence huffed. Besides, it's not like they're going to get out of control, we can still see– she glanced over –what?! Where did they go?

Celestia looked as well. Blanching, she stood up with great urgency and set off on a brisk pace to anywhere else. Cadence, not wanting to be left alone with the two and also curious, raced to catch up.

What was it? What happened?

"Nothing," Celestia muttered as they marched on.

"They– they weren't..." Cadence blushed, "were they?"

"H– Heavens no!" Celestia stammered. "Or in the very least, I couldn't tell. Needless to say, this all backfired horrendously."

Cadence sighed. "I mean, yes, it was rather uncomfortable towards the end, but at least your sister and Twilight are happy now, right?"

"Yes, but that still makes me uncomfortable. I had planned on this building much more slowly, so I would have time to acclimate. But now, I... I don't know how I feel."

"Why would you say that? What's so bad about some fiery romance to keep them on their hooves? We both know it can be a wonderful thing."

Celestia elected to say nothing, quickening her pace.

Cadence struggled to keep up. "... You have had an experience like that, right?" she asked. Yet no response came to her. "Wait, have you ever had feelings for a pony like this, Celestia?"

Stopping short, Celestia exhaled, legs trembling. Her face was flushed. In a pop of light, she was gone.

Cadence stood there, in the middle of the gardens, her mind sufficiently rendered to the ability of a newt. Uncontrollably, she fell back onto her rump, staring off into space. Luna and Twilight were making out on the lawn, sprawled on top of each other. Celestia was most likely stuffing her face with cake.

Where did "a sunny afternoon in Canterlot" go?

Author's Note

Thanks to Willsons for editing!