Out With The Old and In With The New

Pain. Deep, throbbing pain. Unlike anything I have ever felt before, and that was saying a lot. If I had colors to describe this pain, it would be an explosion of all of them, because it was absolutely crazy! Due to this extreme pain, I dared not move even the slightest bit, for fear that I would only make it worse. I dared not compare this pain to any other pains in my hardened life for fear of bringing up poignant memories.

After about an hour of just lying down and trying to think of how I ended up in this situation, I found the courage to move my left leg. I tried straightening it to see if there was any pain. Thankfully there was not. I summoned up even more courage and tried raising the limb up into the air, but I could not feel anything. Then something hit me: my leg was absolutely numb and I could not fell a blasted thing! So I tried the other leg. I dragged it along the ground, unknown of how rough the ground was, and actually felt a little bit of dragging. My skin being tugged between friction, and the direction of movement of of my leg left both a felling of relief and dread. The ground felt like dirt, which only meant that something bad must have happened, because I have amnesia.

Either I lost my left leg, slept on it too long, or I have a serious medical condition. If I had lost it, then I would no longer have any joy to my life! All of those nights of dressing up in a black morph suit and climbing old abandoned schools to get that immense feeling of satisfaction and practice being stealthy would be gone! I could always get a prosthetic leg, but it would never be as durable or reliable in the future. I absolutely dread sitting in a wheelchair for the rest of my life due to the fear of living a shorter life and acquiring varicose veins. I shuddered at the thought of varicose veins...I remember seeing a teacher with those running up the entire length of her leg! That was absolutely ugly and fucking disgusting!

I summoned up my left arm, which turned out to be tucked in between my legs. It felt a little sprained, but was for the most part fine. I lifted it with whatever energy I had left and moved it over to where my left leg was. That was when I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me, for I could feel it in all of its glory. My foot could be gone for all I knew because I could not feel it, but the leg was the only important part.

Just then I noticed that I had my eyes 9/10 of the way closed, so I could only see a mild golden glow through the crack. Could I be in heaven? Highly unlikely considering what things I have done in my life, not that I felt bad about it, I could actually care less. I slowly widened my eye lids and was greeted to an even more intense glow. 7/10 open, 6/10 open, 5/10, and so on.

Once my eyes were open (As open as I could bring them anyway), all I saw was a dim golden light. The light started to dim as my eyes adjusted and I started taking in new views. I observed once white clouds slowly sailing across an orange and yellow sky. The clouds were now more of an orange, due to the sun's color. I proposed that it was sunset, and the many parts of my mind came to a consensus agreeing with my hypothesis.

I started to move the fingers on my right hand, using my thumb to caress the fat and muscle folds protruding out of the bottom of my flexing fingers. What a great feeling that was! So great that I lifted my left arm and used those fingers to pinch those little pouches of flesh. It was mostly fat, as it provided a cushion for my hands whenever I picked something up. Thanks evolution. I then tried feeling my stomach with my right hand, and found it to be nice and flat. It had some fat, but not so much as too go crazy about my weight over it. I only weighed 140 pounds after all.

I tried turning my head to left, only to be greeted by a strong discomforting pain running down the length of my neck on the opposite side. I returned my head to its supine state as fast as a bullet getting shot out of a pistol, and winced in pain. I opened my eyes again to be greeted by a cluster of flashing multicolored stars blowing around sporadically without a care in the world. I rarely got those, so it only tells me that something must be seriously wrong with my neck. I wondered if I should try bending my neck to look at my stomach. I slowly moved my ten pound head forward to look, and met no pain as my eyes observed by shirtless stomach.

My stomach must have used to have a shirt, but the whole thing was torn off somehow. Now I was left completely shirtless, and judging how quickly the sun is going down, it was going to be a rough night. The mere sight of my stomach reminded me of how hungry I was! It was that kind of hunger that made your stomach feel like it was going to implode on itself due to the lack of food keeping it in shape. I knew that I was getting nowhere by just lying down here, so I have to try and get up.

In one swift, audacious movement, I lurched by whole torso up. I felt no pain besides the hunger pain in my stomach and the mild pain in my neck warning me not to move my head to much. Through many years of experience with pain, I learned that you could help it go away just by making it hurt. It sounds weird, but it works! I slowly turned my head left again until I reached that point of pain. Once I started feeling the pain shooting down the right side of my neck again, I tightened my jaw in a futile attempt to ease the pain. I held there regardless of the pain, and my vision was completely scrambled by those stars again. I just sat there, waiting, praying for the pain to stop! It felt like molten iron was being porn through a hole in my neck, and that I could feel it slowly drizzling down into my chest. It also felt kind of good. Eventually, the pain stopped with some kind of a strange pop, and everything felt normal again. I saw the stars disappear and my vision cleared up.

I started noticing tears starting to pool in my eyes, so I wiped my eyes clean. I always knew that pain was just weakness leaving the body, and that I would be stronger from this little experience, no matter how unpleasant it was. Now that I could turn my head without restrictions, I noticed that I was in a strange crater, about 25 feet in diameter, with trees popping up all around it. I have seen thick forests where the trees were so packed together that you had to kind of climb around the gaps in between them. It was a tad bit scary I'll admit due to the creeping suspicion that I was going to be slowly crushed by them had they decided to come alive and gang up on me. But thankfully these trees had much more space in between. I looked up and I noticed that the golden glow that I saw earlier was slowly disappearing, and being replaced by stars and slight blackness.

I decided to gaze downward at my body, and was relieved to see that my foot was still there( and pants thankfully), but my leg was still numb, so I decided to lift it up and stretch the hamstring. 'Make sure you stretch out those creamy hamstrings!' I thought to myself with a smile slowly starting to form. I needed a good smile ever since I woke up with amnesia and a broken up body. Where was the excruciating pain I felt when I first woke up? gone, hopefully! I then looked around and started to take in the size and shape of the crater. I saw lumps of colorful clothes just lying about throughout the crater. I noticed that arms and legs were jutting out of those lumps. I finally realized that I wasn't alone in this crater.

I closely observed the five other people lying around this crater. They all wore regular clothes such as kakis or jeans with a t-shirt or long-sleeved. There was just one in particular who wore the strangest clothes that I had ever seen in my life. It appeared to be a twenty-five year old male Caucasian that had a hat with a unicorn horn poking out of the top. He also wore a jacket that was completely white with a hoodie that had large blue sapphire eyes on the top. The eyes looked very feminine, so I could only assume that this "man" was gay. I know that I should not jump to conclusions, but what else could he be? So I'll just stick to the gay hypothesis for now. Most of these people seemed to be in shape, but one looked quite obese. Just looking at him maimed my vision with disgust! My body quivered just thinking about how hard life would be if I weighed that much. I encountered obese people quite frequently due to me living in the Americas, and let me tell you, the Americas were filled with fat people due to how pampered they were. I was born there, but I did not want to run in with that kind of a crowd I tell you what!

I noticed that my left leg had regained its feeling, and was now ready to serve me in walking. I reached both of my arms forward, placed them on the ground, and slowly started to extend my legs until I reached a rape able position with my butt in the air. I berated myself for the dirty thoughts, and pushed my arms off of the ground so that I could stand up with a straight vertebrae. The blood from my legs rushed to my head and almost made me all over again, so I fought it by spreading my legs to become more balanced. It was a truly weird feeling that made your mind go absolutely crazy. Once my mind cleared up, I took in more surroundings and found out that I was slightly taller than the rim of the crater. I was only 5'7, so the rim appeared to be 5'6. I was never satisfied with my height because everyone else seemed to be taller than me. I even tried all kinds of vitamins and supplements to help me grow, but it was to no avail. I wanted to try Human Growth Hormone injections, but they were so goddamn expensive. Why the fuck do they cost so much goddamn it?! Those greedy ass doctors always want your goddamn money!

I stopped my internal rambling and looked up at the sky. I could tell that the sun was barely poking up over the horizon now due to how dark the sky was getting. I thought about building a fire pit quickly before the night's cold started, or all of those people and I would freeze to death, but then I realized that I should probably check to see that we're not in a park first so that I wouldn't just be wasting my time. I looked at the ground again and noticed that there was a pool of blood that was slowly seeping into the dirt, the exact same spot that I was lying on. I reached my hands back to feel my back and was greeted by a meaty pain. It felt so tender and lacerated that I decided that I should probably stay off my back for awhile and let it heal.

I walked to the edge of the huge 20 foot crater and jumped up a bit so I could lock my elbows and pull myself up. The small but sharp pebbles lining the edge of the crater put marks in my palms and stuck there, so I rubbed my hands together to be rid of the little things and started exploring around the crater site. I walked through a forest, noticing a bunch of forest animals running about such as white rabbits and chipmunks. White rabbits? perhaps this was a park with a bunch of feeder rabbits running around to feed predators. I kept walking until I reached a clearing in this strange forest. The grass was very green and rolling everywhere. It was completely dark now, but the moon was quite bright and full, so it made everything glow, especially the grass. I noticed a small pond nearby, but dared not to drink from it for fear of getting a parasite. The last thing I needed was to get a parasite because those shit-eating doctors would probably bill me something that was equal to Bill Gate's salary.

I decided that we're probably not in a park, so I started to look for any dead wood so that I could fuel my future campfire. I walked back into the forest and looked for any dead trees lying on the ground, or even some small twigs. Hell, anything would be good right about now. I started to talk to myself aloud. "Look at this crap! I can't find a damn thing! Hmmmm.". That was a small habit that I paid no attention to because I thought that it was pretty funny, since I always expressed my inner frustration. I looked up at the trees leaves and noticed many small rodents observing me like I was some kind of scary alien. "What are you looking at you ugly mammals?" I said aloud. The chipmunks did nothing else, and I decided to just head back to the camp.

As I was walking, I started to think about how much I hated mammals. Most mammals are such ugly creatures and don't deserve to exist. I only tolerate them because they feed many other more superior animals such as hawks or snakes. Mammals have the dirtiest mating that I can recall, it is so absolutely disgusting that it makes me want to just run up to them and skin them alive. I remember how dogs always get stuck to each other when they mate, which is a nasty thing. I hate mammals as much as the Taliban hate the U.S. government! I also hate how female mammals bleed, it's just so nasty. "Heh, yah I'll make you bleed you unworthy abominations." I muttered to myself.

After a while of walking, I was back at the crater. I had not realized how far I walked away from here! It took around twenty minutes to get back at even a reasonable pace. When I looked back into the crater I noticed that one of those people that I saw sleeping earlier were awake. It was not the fat one thankfully, just a normal looking guy. He stood up when he heard me reach the edge of the crater. That was when I realized that he was an absolute mountain of a man! He was about 6'8. His height made me so jealous. He had dark curly hair, and large lips. He wore a thin checkered polo shirt with buttons. I decided to walk into the crater because he seemed friendly enough to approach. I was always a bit shy when it came to meeting new people, but now was not the time to act like a bitch.

"Salutations." I say aloud with a confident tone.

"Hello," he says with s surprisingly high pitched voice. "Um, do you happen to know where we are?" he asks looking around at the other people still unconscious and the trees surrounding the crater.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I woke up right there." I said pointing to the pile of blood.

"Wow, is that you're blood?! What happened?" he asked with obvious concern.

"Yes, it's mine. I have no idea what happened! I just woke up there and was in extreme pain. Next thing I know I have a wounded back." I say.

"Here let me see." He orders. I turn around and show him my wounded back. I hear him breathe in heavily and breathe out heavily as a huge sigh. "It looks pretty bad." he says sympathetically.

"I kind of figured" I said pessimistically. "But don't worry about it. I feel absolutely spiffy otherwise. I don't think that we properly met, so I'm Alexius. And no, that's not a girl's name."

"That's an interesting name. My name is Mylan." responds the rather large man. "I have no idea what I was doing before I got here, so I can only guess that I have amnesia." he says with sorrow.

"Same here friend." I say. "How old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm seventeen and half, you?"

I am astounded by how young he is, but how tall he is!, "I'm just 16".

Before we can continue our pleasant conversation, both Mylan and myself notice one of the unconscious bodies start to stir, and then he shrieks in pain after he started to twist his back. It was a loud scream that made my ears ring. We both ran over to him to try and calm him down before he stressed himself out too much. "Here, help me flip him onto his stomach!" I order to Mylan. Not to my surprise, Mylan is quite strong and gets the stranger onto his stomach within 3 seconds.

"AH! What's going on!? Where am I!?" demanded the stranger frantically.

"Shhhhh, it's okay, we don't know where we are, but I assure you that we will find out." I say in a mellow tone trying to calm him down. To my relief, he relaxed at my voice.

"Uh, could you maybe help me stand up?" he asked

"Sure friend" I replied before gesturing to Mylan to help my lift him up without touching his back. Mylan was all too happy to help and lifted him up like he weighed almost nothing. Mylan slowly lowered him onto his feet and gave a nice beaming smile to the stranger who was just as astounded by Mylan's height as I was. This stranger had dyed his hair mint green with white highlights running though it. Strange. He bore a big nose on his face and had hazel eyes. He wore a gray muscle shirt and a pair of jeans. He has some muscles and lookes quite fit, so he's deserving of a muscle shirt.

"So where are we!?" demanded the stranger.

"I don't know! I just woke up in the forest here in this crater only to be greeted to a lot of pain. I decided to go look for civilization and firewood before it got too cold, and when I came back I found Mylan here awake. I think we should build that fire as quickly as possible, because the nights can get very cold out here in the forest. That and it'll help to keep predators away if there are any." I explain.

"I'll go get some firewood for you guys." offered Mylan

I was absolutely appalled by his generosity. "Why thank you Mylan. You sure are generous aren't you?"

"You know it buddy." he says.

"Just be careful okay? It's quite inky out there." I said. Mylan took a moment to think about what 'inky' meant before realizing that it meant dark. He nodded in confirmation before crawling out of the crater and disappearing into the dark forest. I look back over to the newly awakened person. "So what's your name? I'm Alexius."

"I'm Tyler, nice to meet you. So what in the hell do you think is going on?" asks Tyler.

"Weird shit if anything. All of us ending up in a crater with no memory of how we got there. That is pretty Twilight Zone to me friend." I say. "Mind if I see your back? Mine hurt too and it's pretty mangled. I was wondering if yours is the same.

"Knock yourself out." says Tyler before turning around and lifting up his shirt. Yeah a shirt would be pretty nice about now. I noticed that his back was not tender like mine, it instead had uncountable gashes like he was whipped repeatedly.

"Wow! You look like you were whipped something fierce friend! There's so many gashes on your back it looks like a lion got a hold of you!" I say.

"I'd rather not hear a description of it thank you very much sir." He says looking sick.

"At least you have a shirt to cover it up, I woke up half naked." I say.

Both Tyler and I hear a scuffing sound somewhere else in the crater before we could continue. When we looked over, two more strangers had awakened from their slumber and were now starting to slowly stand up and look around in confusion. I waited for one of them to holler out in pain from getting injured, but they both seemed fine as they started stumbling around in the dark. The fat one was one of the ones to awaken. "Hello!? Where am I?" wailed the fat one. He had a high pitched voice and had blonde hair that was formed into bangs hanging down either side of his head. He had a baby face with big puffy red cheeks and two front teeth sticking out that were a little bit more than noticeable. He looked a little bit funny I thought to myself.

The other stranger who had just awoken started to holler out as well. The fat one was completely oblivious and nearly had a heart attack at the sound of the other stranger's yelling. "Oh shit! Who's there!?" Yelled the fat one.

"I'm Daniel! Tommy, is that you pranking me? If it is then I'll have your bony hide!" Yelled the other stranger.

"Hey stop!" I yell to stop them from freaking out any further. I then run over to them to explain everything that has happened. "This may be a little bit hard to explain, but you are lost in the middle of some forest like us. So yeah."

"What do you mean we're lost in the middle of the forest!?" screamed Daniel. Daniel appeared to be quite short, around 5 feet tall. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the ACDC logo on it and also bore blonde hair.

"We all woke up in this crater in the middle of some forest! I already went out to look!" I responded.

"Yeah right," said the fat one. "I bet this is all just some kind of stupid prank, well it's not gonna work on me! I bet that you dropped me in some city park."

"I assure you that this is not a prank. I already checked to see if it was a prank and the forest went on forever. I did not see another human in sight!" I say.

"Yeah right, I'll go find my own way out liar!" says the fat one before he goes crawling up the side of the crater to leave rather slowly due to his health.

"I don't know what to believe." commented Daniel. "But even if this was a prank I wouldn't leave the person pranking me, that's just stupid."

Mylan came back after all the screaming soon after the fat man left. He ran down the slope of the crater and almost fell over after stumbling a bit. "What the hell was that?" he asked.

I replied with "Oh, the fat dude woke up and thought he was being pranked, so he left to go see if he was in a park. He'll be back."

"Well, I could not find any wood out there. That forest is as clean as a new pair of shoes! I hardly noticed a thing on the ground!" said Mylan.

"Don't worry about it. The night isn't very cold so far, so let's just see how things go." I say reassuringly. "Oh, this little guy here is Daniel. He woke up too and was smart enough NOT to run away from the camp."

"Hey Daniel nice to meet you. You sure are short aren't you?" said Mylan

"Oh shut up." he replies.

"Hey Daniel, so I guess you can't remember anything either?" wondered Tyler

"Not even a morsel of it." said Daniel. Daniel looked over to the last person asleep wearing the weird clothes. He did not say a thing, but his attention attracted ours. He got up and walked over to the dozing stranger, put his hand on their shoulder, and shook very lightly. "Hey wake up!" he started to whisper loudly as he continued his shaking.

Nothing would rouse the stranger from his sleep, so Daniel gave up and returned to us to continue talking about whatever. We all decided to sit down in a circle in the dirt with our legs crossed. Since sitting cross legged can help cause varicose veins, I sat straight legged outside of the circle. I don't want that! I started to snap my fingers for no particular reason, I only do it when I'm bored. It got louder until my new friends started to notice.

"Hey why are you siting all alone over there?" asked Mylan in his light voice.

"If I sit crossed legged then I might get varicose veins" I reply.

"What's that?" asked Daniel

"It's when your veins swell up and turn all mangled and blue. That is nasty and I want no part!" I say. At that, all of my new friends undid their folded legs and sat straight. All of silent until we heard a loud thumping noise getting closer and closer to the crater. Then the thumping started to get louder. The fat man was causing that sound while running until he reached us and fell over and rolled into the crater, nearly startling all of us. He toppled right on top of the last sleeping stranger and then rolled off.

"See! I told you he would be back." I say.

"You-were right! We, are lost, in the forest! Uhhhh!" he says with labored breaths before finally falling over to catch some more oxygen with his lungs. We all then noticed that the guy with the strange clothes awakened from his slumber and started to stretch and yawn. He had a small goatee and glasses. The strange man then stood up and started walking around until he tripped over the fatman. He fell straight on his face and his hat fell off.

"Whoa what's going on?!" he yelled.

"Here we go again..." I say while face palming. "I'm not telling him again, someone else do it."

"Were lost in the forest. Either believe us or don't." said Daniel.

The strange man stood up and brushed himself off. "We are? I can't remember anything, so can anyone tell me how we got here?" I was interested in how calm he was. That was a unique trait that not many people utilize. I am proud to say that I am one of those people.

"None of us know either. We all woke up in a crater, so I figure that it must not have been such a good thing. Tyler there and I woke up wounded." I said while pointing to Tyler. "We should all introduce each other to get confusions out of the way." I proposed.

"I'm Alexius. I am 16 years old." I say

"I'm Mylan. I'm 17 years old" says the giant.

"I'm Daniel. I'm 15." says the midget.

"I'm Tyler. I'm 20 years." said the guy with the mint-colored hair.

"Hey guys, I am Tony and I am 26." says the strangely-garbed man. I then looked over to the fat man who looked like his breath was almost caught up.

"Hey what's your name large one?" I yell.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my weight! If anyone's large it's Mylan there!" He says as he points to Mylan.

"I'm not fat either douche!" yelled Mylan.

"I meant tall..." said the fat man. I was getting tired of calling him the fat man or anything else related to obesity, so I asked for his name.

"What's your name and how old are you anyway?" I ask.

"Well, I am Sheldon, and I am about eighteen and a half. It is a way better name than Alexius. That is a girl's name." he says.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "No it is not. It can be, but it's not. I am sorry for calling you fat, so let's stop arguing."

"Agreed." said Sheldon.

"Well then, welcome to the club of survivalists Sheldon!" yelled Daniel jokingly. Sheldon comes to sit down and plops down pretty hard into the dirt, his fat rippling. Everyone sat down in their comfortable positions. Even Mylan, Daniel, and Tyler reverted to sitting corss-legged, completely forgetting about my explanation of varicose veins. I was tired of sitting down and decided to stand up straight.

"So what should we do about staying warm in the freezing night?" asked Mylan. Everyone took a while to answer until a came up with an answer.

"I guess we could all stay sitting in a circle all night long and huddle together if any of us gets to cold. I'm not even tired and I doubt that I could sleep after any of this, so we should stay up all night and talk." I offered.

"Okay" everyone else says in a sporadic unison.

"I'm just going to go walk around the crater site for a while. I need to stretch my legs. farewell friends." I say before starting toward the rim of the crater.

"Bye. Be careful of predators if there are any." says Tyler. I continue to climb up and out of the crater. It turned out to be a whole lot darker than I once thought, as the crater looked very dark and I could hardly see my friends. I only saw their hands waving me goodbye. I walk into the dark forest in a straight path until the crater is out of sight. I continue my little adventure and walk around with silent steps, trying to keep an ear out for any other sounds that could be nearby. I also did not want to attract any predators if there happened to be any around. I continued to walk around the circular trees and noted how neat the ground looked. It's just as Mylan Described! I could not see much on the ground, just bare dirt. I normally hated dirt very much, but boy did it look neat right now! There don't seem to be any predators.

"I swear that if I am attacked by a stupid mammalian predator, I will castrate it after I cripple it." I say aloud since I am alone in the deep dark forest. "I know that humans are mammals and that I am a human, but I am not such a disgusting stupid teenager like those others that I met in high school. I swear that I just might go shoot up the school if I hear anymore of them talk about sex!"

I shudder at the digusting word. Sex. For such a short word it is pretty mortifyingly nauseating! I hate sex. I never had it before, and I never plan to because It is a disgusting act. I hate girls and women because of how annoying they are and how little you can trust them. I am not gay and I do not like girls or hermaphrodites, so what am I exactly? Something else entirely of course. Some old fat friend that I used to have that was also named Tyler always wanted to lose his virginity, so he went out do always try and get dates. He always failed miserably, but maybe that was because he was one of the most impudent, rude, digusting "humans" that I ever met! He was a disgrace to the human race. Hah, nice rhyme.

"Remember that one time when that dumb fucker in art class tried to threaten you all classy like when you sprayed liquid ass in the classroom too much?" asked my mind to myself aloud. I respond aloud as well, "Yeah, he wanted to beat me up for spraying that smelly liquid around so I could get a reaction out of people. But he didn't really threaten me, he just balled up his fists and said that he would appreciate it if I stopped. What a fucking idiot. Trying to be all gentleman-like. Fuck him and his short fat pig of a girlfriend. Overacting for something as trivial as an unpleasant smell. I'll kill them both off some day."

I was fuming with that memory, but I soon snapped out of it and started back in what I believed was the direction of the crater. I kept walking and walking and walking until I got back to the crater, where everyone was still huddled around in a circle like a bunch of Native-Americans. Before I walked back down into the crater, I noticed something very familiar off to the side hanging off of a tree branch. It looked like some kind of a suitcase. And I was right, it was my suitcase. I went over and tried to jump up to get it, but it was too high up. Then an idea struck.

I walked back into the crater and heard everyone greet me by saying "Hey Alexius.". "Hey guys. Hey Mylan, could you come help me with something?" I asked.

"Sure, what do you need?"

"I found something of mine stuck up on a tree branch, but I am too short to reach it. Could you come give it a try?'

"Sure." he says nonchalantly. Once he stood up and urged me to lead the way, I noticed that Tyler and Daniel got up to come take a look because their curiosity got the better of them. So I lead the three of them up and out of the crater and over to the tree that had the suitcase hanging off of it.

"There it is." I say whilst pointing. They all looked up.

"A suitcase huh?" he asks.

"Yep.". mylan stretched his arm and back up as much as possible while standing on his toes to try and reach the suitcase, but it was to no avail.

"Hop on my shoulders and I'll boost you up to grab it." He proposed. I nodded as he crouched down so I could climb up on him. He stood up once I was steady, and I found myself to be much taller than where the branch was, so I crouched down a bit and gently slid it off of the rough bark-encrusted branch.

"He's got it!" said Tyler so Mylan would know when to crouch and bring us down. once it was safe, I hopped off of Mylan and wrapped my free arm around his neck to hug him.

"You're welcome." he says. Without another word we all jogged back to the crater and I shared my item with Sheldon and Tony.

"A suitcase?" asked Sheldon.

"Yes. I believe I have my ipad in here. So I should be able to find out our location using an app called 'Find my iphone'! Though it's technically an ipad."

"That's brilliant! Hopefully we can get out of here!" exclaimed Tony.

I brought up my suitcase and unbuckled it and pulled it open. I marveled at its nice, red velvet interior. I saw my ipad in all of its glory next to its charger, and pulled it out. Mylan said "Oooh" at the dragon skin that I had decorated my ipad with. I noticed that I also had my laptop underneath with its charger. I lifted it up and found nothing else underneath, so I continued to turn on the ipad. It required a passcode, which I remembered was 3333. I punched in the code and listened to it click as it unlocked. What a satisfying sound that is! I fingered my way over to the "Find my iphone" app and clicked on it. I waited for it to try and find our location, but it ended up failing as it could not connect.

"Blast!" I yelled as I threw the ipad back into the case. Hard. "It didn't work!" I said angrily as I plopped down onto the hard dirt floor.

"It's okay, we could all go leave this crater tomorrow and look for civilization." said Tony.

"Yes, I suppose. I tell you though, technology is not as good as they say it is." I reply

"For real." said Sheldon.

I looked at my new friends again and smiled to each, but then I once again noticed Tony's weird fashion choice, so I decided to bring it up. "Hey Tony. What are you wearing anyway?"

"We were actually going to talk to you about that when you got back Alexius." said Tyler.

"About what?" I ask, interest piqued.

"Well Alexius, have you ever before in your life heard of the name, Rarity?" Asked Tyler.

"No, whats that?" I ask.

"What about the name, Golden Harvest a.k.a. Carrot Top?" He asked again.

"I've heard of the comedian Carrot Top if that is what you're pointing towards. What's this all about anyway?" I ask.

"Well, we were talking about Tony's clothes earlier, and we all found out that we had a common interest. We are all bronies."

"Now what the hell is a brony?" I ask completely confused.

"Have you ever heard of the show, My Little Pony?" asks Mylan.

I'm trying to figure out what they're trying to get at. "Yes, my sister watches that show all the time out our house. I never stopped to observe it."

"Well, bronies are older people like us who love the show and watch it all the time. It is an absolutely amazing show!" says Mylan while smiling.

"Oh! So that hat he's wearing is from the show. And those eyes are pony eyes?" I ask.

"Yes! We just wanted to find out if you were a brony too. If you were, we were suggesting that we should all have a get together with other bronies once this was over and attend bronycons and what not!" said Daniel. "We could still get you to like the show even though you have never seen it before."

A bunch of grown men and teenagers who watch a show that is for Little Girls? That is the most repugnant thing that I have ever heard of besides sex! How could they get into the show that much? Great, now I am stuck with a bunch of crazy people who might be gay. I will still be their friends because they were way cooler than the fat Tyler that I used to know. "No, I am okay. I do not want to be a brony, but thanks for the offer."

"Are you sure? It would be very fun!" Prodded Tony.

"I am sure. Let's talk about something else." I say.

And with that, we stopped talking about bronies and me joining them. We only talked about other things such as pizza and how much amnesia sucks. We continued talking until the constant forest darkness eventually made us all tired, so we broke out promise of staying up all night and crashed right there in a huge pile. The cold was not a big problem anymore due to our combined body heats. Perhaps we can all find civilization tomorrow and go back to our lives.