Despondence

by Plotbuster

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other
Length: 11789

A man comes to Equestria. It's nice. Rainbow Dash becomes his friend, but something's bothering her...

A man comes to Equestria. It's nice. Rainbow Dash becomes his friend, but something's bothering her...

He seems to be hiding something. He's told her a lot of things, things he hasn't talked about to anypony else, but there's still something eating at him. So, she psyches herself up for a visit to get to the bottom of it.

Published 2014-03-24 16:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-24 16:03:54 UTC

You asked for it, Rainbow...

Despondence

Rainbow Dash Burst through the door, landing on the living room floor with a stomp. Her limbs were spread, crouched down and ready to pounce, her wings spread and shivering with tension. Her chest hair was ruffed out, her breaths coming fast and hard. A slight sheen of perspiration covered her.

"Alright, buddy, we need to have a chat!" Rainbow pronounced exuberantly, her brow furrowed, eyes intense. Sam, who had been caught in the action of refilling his drink, slowly set the bottle down, shaking his fingers lightly to remove the spilled cider. He regarded his friend, noting the slightly wild look in her eyes, the heavy breathing. He sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"If you keep standing there, you're going to catch a chill. You certainly seem to have worked yourself into a lather over something or other." Sam hiked his thumb behind him, in the general direction of the bathroom door. "Grab yourself a towel and rub yourself down, or I will." He quirked his eyebrow, an almost nonexistent smirk tweaking the corner of his mouth.

"Buh, you, I... Bah!" Rainbow sputtered, indignation robbing her of her earlier intensity. She reddened slightly, then burst into action, rocketing down the hallway as Sam made to get up. Sam relaxed back into his lounger, a new 'invention' of his cobbled together with the help of Big Mac and a pony named Hokey Spokes. It was no La-Z-Boy, but it got the job done. Taking a long drink of his cider, he rubbed his eyebrows. Rainbow might be his best friend in Equestria, but sometimes just looking at her made him tired. Schooling his expression, he slowly wiped the consternation from his face so he could meet this new exuberance of Rainbows with a neutral expression.

The sounds of vigorous toweling and snarled invectives drifted back to him from the open bathroom door. Eventually these sounds were replaced by the determined stomping of hooves as Rainbow slowly and deliberately marched back up the hallway, making a precise turn to come about facing Sam. She stared at Sam, her magenta eyes boring into his. Sam met her gaze evenly.

Inside, he was becoming slightly alarmed. Rainbow might mass all of half his body, but he would probably rather have a tiger sitting in front of him right now. Rainbow was determined. Whatever was bothering her, it wasn't something he was going to be able to just brush off. He knew this look. Rainbow was going to dig at him until she got what she wanted. She wasn't afraid to use physical coercion to get her way, either. He could picture her, up in her cloud house, running in place, her wings snapping in and out of their sheathed position. He imagined that anyone passing below her residence might have heard the odd "Get pumped!" or "You can do this!" wafting down to them on the breeze for the last hour or so. A small smile fluttered across his face. Rainbow had her little rituals for situations like this, oh yes she did...

"What are you smiling about, Sam? This is serious business!" Her scowl returned, Rainbow surged up into Sams face. He reared back, his own brow furrowing, the smile replaced instantly by a visage of stone.

"Hey, Rainbow. Back off, yeah?" Sam said in a small, cold voice, the strain evident. Rainbow blanched, scooting back to her original position, a slightly scared, penitent look on her face. There was more in that look than Sam wanted to interpret, and he began to realize that this might be a more serious conversation than he had first believed. Looking into Rainbow's eyes, he saw something he wasn't used to. Worry.

"Sit down, Dash." He patted the couch next to him, a more Equestrian piece of furniture he'd bought when his pony friends complained about having nothing to sit on. He'd had a rather negative moment of self inspection when he realized he thought nothing of having his friends sit on the ground. It had taken him longer than he'd like to admit to adopt the mantra of People, not Ponies, and he still had his moments...

"Yeah, fine. Sitting is fine." Rainbow turned to her left and hopped up onto the couch, turning once before she settled, sphinxlike, on the couch to Sam's right. Her muzzle wasn't more than a foot away from him, but the armrest of the couch provided a psychological barrier for his sense of personal space. "We've got some stuff to hash out, Sammy boy. You know me, I like to get right down to it, so I guess I'll say sorry in advance." Sam couldn't help but smirk at this, and covered it by taking a drink from his glass. Rainbow had gotten into more trouble blindly charging into things than he cared to think about. She'd gotten him in trouble, too, more than once.

"Well, Dash, I suppose I'll let that apology cover my door repairs, but I think I might need a little more for the spilled cider. This is SAA Private Stock. Wasting it should be a capitol offence." Sam regarded Rainbow coolly over the rim of his glass, probably enjoying watching the color drain from her face a bit more than he should have. He and Rainbow had shared more than a few bottles of Sweet Apple Acre's finest. She knew what she'd done. After reveling in her mortification for a few moments, he pulled another bottle from behind his chair.

"No worries, though. Big Mac just stocked me up. Care for some?" In the back of his mind, Sam still held out a little hope that he could derail Rainbow's train before it fully pulled into the station. A night of heavy drinking might just keep whatever this was at bay for at least a bit longer. Some of Rainbow's... Serious conversations had become less than pleasant. Like the time Rainbow had found out Sam was a professed atheist, and it had taken him two hours of shouting just to make her understand he didn't think Celestia and Luna didn't exist because he didn't believe in god. He still wasn't sure if they were really on the same page on that subject, but they were probably reading the same book.

His hopes for inebriated fun were dashed, however.

"No thanks, Sam. This is really bothering me, and I really wanna' talk about it. We can get silly on AJ's best some other time." Rainbows expression was enough to tell Sam he wasn't going to distract her from this. It also told him he shouldn't. That worry was back, crowding out the anger, exasperation, and the subtle twinkle of mischief he was so used to seeing. That told him putting this conversation off was going to hurt Rainbow, and he didn't want to do that.

"Well, Dash, if it's that important to you, let's have it then. What's this all about? I can't say you bursting into my house is too irregular an occurrence, but if you were mad about something I did you still would be, and I can at least tell you aren't mad." Sam looked at Rainbow, trying to get a clue from her body language or expression as to what had gotten her into this state.

"Not yet, Sammy. Guess it all depends on how you answer my question." Rainbow looked down and away from him for a few seconds. When she looked up, the determination was back in her eyes, but Sam could see resignation and hurt in those orbs as well. "Sam... Why are you so sad?"

"Why am I..." Sam was taken aback. At first he thought Rainbow was playing some kind of joke on him. He almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of the question. One look at Rainbow's face told him this was no joke. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen her look like this. Wherever she'd gotten this idea, he could see she believed it. She believed it was true, and it was driving her crazy.

"Rainbow.. I'm not sad. I've got a good life. I've got great friends, a nice home, a good job. You know me better than anyone. Why would you think I'm sad?" Sam was calm on the outside, but inside he was scrabbling desperately for a way out of this conversation. Maybe if he jumped out the window he wouldn't get cut by the glass too badly...

"Don't lie to me, Sam. I may not be the Element of Honesty, but it doesn't take a magic lie detector for me to tell you're not telling the truth. And don't even think about running away from me. We both know I can chase you down without breaking a sweat. I can break the sound barrier, I can sure as hell run down a lanky monkey like you." Rainbow looked into Sam's face and he could see the anger was back. What he wasn't expecting were the tears. Her eyes were slowly filling with moisture.

"Come on, Dash, don't freakin' cry. What the hell? You never cry! What's gotten into you?" Sam reached out to Rainbow, not sure exactly what he was going to do, but before he could finish the gesture one of Rainbow's hooves knocked his hand aside and poked him hard in the chest. Sam looked to his hand, then the hoof pushing none too gently into his chest, taken aback. Rainbow knew better than anyone that he wasn't comfortable with this kind of personal contact. He was about to lace into her and shove her hoof away when he looked back to her face. She was openly crying now, tears making wet tracks in the short hair on her cheeks. Shaking her head to clear her eyes, she looked at him almost mournfully.

"You. You've gotten into me." Rainbow pulled the hoof back, using it to rub her eyes aggressively. "And it's not just me. I asked the gang about it. I guess I was the first one to notice, but once I mentioned it, they could all see it. We've been talking it over all week, and the girls decided I'd be the best one to talk to you about it. Hah!" She snorted in self derision. "Some job I'm doing of it, huh? Whatever. Fact is, you're always sad. You were happy when you first got here. Celestia sent you here to get 'acclimated to Equestrian society', and for a few months you were great. maybe I saw it first cause I spent the most time with you in the beginning..."

She was right, Sam supposed. He'd walked down a path one day back on Earth, and found an interesting cave in a hillside. He'd crawled through it for curiosities sake, and come out a cave on the side of the mountain Canterlot perched on. He'd been disoriented by the sudden impossible change in his general surroundings, and had immediately turned to go back. He'd been presented with a view of a bare rock face. Scared and confused, he made his way down the cliff face, most likely almost falling to his death a dozen times. The climb was a blur of fear and pain, he barely remembered it. Eventually he got down off the cliff, and trekked over to the fantastical city he'd glimpsed on his way down.

Walking through the gates, he looked around for people, hoping he could find someone to tell him where the hell he was, but all he saw were weird little horses. Having no reason to, he didn't equate the expressions on their faces to emotions he would expect a person to have. Animals didn't smile in delight, or have their mouths go round with awe. The animal chatters they were making wasn't language, it was just the sounds these horses made. The clothes and bags they wore weren't, they were the costuming whatever mad person owned them had dressed them up in.

After walking for a few minutes he realized he was hungry. Starving, really. He walked over to an open air bakery, and the smell was so enticing he just started shoving pastries in his mouth. He heard an angry voice tell him he needed to pay for those, like, right now. Without looking up he dug a twenty out of his pocket and tossed it at the voice, continuing to gorge on the most delicious confections he'd ever tasted. When the voice asked him what the hell this was, he looked up angrily to ask her if she'd never seen money before. And looked at a horse. An angry looking horse. That inexplicably seemed to be calling the guards on him. He'd been so flabbergasted he didn't even struggle when the Royal Guard came over, restrained him at the baker's insistence, and hauled him off to the dungeon for theft.

So there he sat. All day. While snooty looking horses asked him who he was... What he was. Suffice it to say, Sam had been less than cooperative. The Ponies, as they called themselves, threw some food to him and left him in a cell overnight. The next morning he met Celestia. That was something of a shock. He learned later that after a few minutes of conversation with him, Celestia canceled her morning court, and spent the rest of the day talking to him, eventually letting him out and leading him to a guest room where they continued to talk. She left at sunset, telling him they would talk again tomorrow. She also left a pair of guards on his door. That was okay, he wasn't going anywhere. He'd had a lot to think about.

The next day she came back. They talked for a bit longer, then she had six new ponies come in, and left for court. The pink one was insane. The yellow one was mean. The pink and yellow one was a shivering ball. The white one made him want to hit her. The purple one was okay, he could actually carry on an intelligent conversation with her. The blue one... The blue one was interesting. Sam latched onto her unique coloration, his interest in her look spreading into an interest in her deceptively deep character. He got to know all those ponies, and would later call them all friends, even though he still wanted to hit Rarity occasionally. Twilight tried to figure out what he was, where he came from, if there were any more, and how he got here in the first place. She failed. Sam thought she still felt bad about it, but she'd been pulling her hair... No, mane out, proposing rather intrusive procedures when Celestia asked Luna to step in. Luna failed just as dismally as Twilight. Sam thought that might have actually made Twilight feel better.

Celestia decided to try next. It was a state secret he would carry to his grave what happened next.

She failed. Honestly, Sam felt like Twilight took that harder than he did. He hadn't been expecting any better results. Hoping, maybe. But Twilight was sure Celestia could help him. Anyway, they all said they'd keep trying. Twilight had a theory about his metabolizing Equestrian foodstuffs, eventually all his cells being replaced with atomic materiel of Equestrian origins. It seemed to be the case. He'd been more or less immune to magic when he first got to Equestria, but the longer he lived there and ate the food, the more affected by magic he became. Other things too. He was stronger now. A lot stronger. Faster, too. Anyway, Twilight said after he'd completely assimilated Equestrian materials into him, he'd have a unique magical signature just like everyone else in Equestria. By analyzing it, she could devise a spell that would seek out similar magical signatures. So, if there were other Humans in Equestria, the spell should be able to find them. It had been two years since he got here. Twilight guessed it would take another three before she could cast the spell.

"Hey, Sam, snap out of it!"

Sam started, looking back at Rainbow. He realized he'd gone off into la la land, Rainbow forgotten as he reminisced about his circumstances. He looked away again guiltily.

"Sorry Dash. I was a million miles away for a bit there. So. If I said what I was sad about wasn't your fault. or anyone's really, could we leave it at that?" Sam studied Rainbow as she wrestled with the question. More emotion than he'd expected flashed across her face. He could see anger, sadness, and guilt flicker across her amazingly expressive equine visage.

"Hell, no. I can't watch one of my friends stew in misery!" Rainbow suddenly burst out, her fore-hooves flailing as she reared back on the couch. "I don't care who's fault it is! It's still hurting you, and I can't leave a friend hangin' like that! Tell me what's going on, so I can DO something about it. I can't STAND watching you go through life with this thing hurting you. Everything you do is affected by it, don't you see that? Everything we do, there's always that part of you that just sits there. It doesn't pull away, but it keeps me out!" Sam Recoiled from her wild hooves, but just as much from the distinctly personal turn Rainbow's outburst had taken. He'd been afraid of this for a long time. The urge to run was rising in the back of his brain, to just get out and see how far he could get, but he knew it was useless.

"Dash, calm down please." Sam said quietly, resignedly. "If you hit me with one of those hooves I'm gonna throw you out." Rainbow froze, then slowly sank back down to her earlier position, a wary but hopeful expression on her face. Sam could barely stand to see her like that. "Dash... A lot of this conversation is going to depend on how you answer my next question, so think about it very carefully. I might not be the Element of Honesty either, but please don't try to lie to me, ok?" Dash gulped once, then nodded slowly. "Dash, do you love me? Not like you love a friend, or your parents, you know what I mean."

Dash's face closed down, a slow blush spreading across her face. "Heh heh, come on Sammy boy. Don't make me say it..." She turned away slightly, a hoof going to her face. A tiny, wistful smile formed slowly, and Sam's heart plummeted.

"Damn. Dammit all to hell. SHIT!" Sam leapt up from his seat, took one stride forward and kicked out at a low, heavy table in the middle of the living room floor. The force of the kick picked the table up, sending it flying across the room to embed itself in the wall. It was Rainbow's turn to recoil from Sam, trying to process what had just happened. She'd known he was strong. He was a big guy, and as Equestria's magic slowly pervaded his system, his strength had grown to rival that of the biggest earth pony stallion. He regularly hoof-wrestled Big Mac to a draw, or beat him. What she hadn't realized was the violence he'd just shown himself capable of. He'd always been so gentle, even going out of his way to soften tackles when playing hoof ball or anything of that sort, no matter how intense competition got. This was not how she'd expected this to go.

Sam stood in the center of the room, fists clenched at his sides, breathing heavily. Rainbow watched warily from the couch as he slowly unclenched his hands, flexing them slowly. His breathing slowed down and became more regular. When he finally spoke, it was like hearing a damned soul from the depths of Tartarus. "So now I'm a monster..." Sam whispered. Turning to Rainbow, she saw his eyes were wet with tears. "Dash, you can't love me. I'm not a pony. I'm human. I'm the only human. You asked why I'm sad, Dash? Well there it is."

Dash stayed silent as he slowly moved back to his seat, collapsing into it and putting his head in his hands. Slowly she reached a hoof over to him, but hesitated, stopping short of actually touching him. He never liked being touched, Dash thought to herself. How would he react to her touch in this state? Dash thought about that for a moment. He never liked being touched... But that wasn't true. He was fine with some ponies touching him. Like Big Mac, and Mr. cake. And during a game, he didn't freak out when someone tackled him. Even when Twilight had all those thingamies attached to him, and was poking him everywhere, taking measurements. Now that Dash thought about it, the person he seemed to have the most issues with touch about was... Her.

"I don't get it. What are you talking about? So what if you're human? That doesn't matter! Love is love! And I love y-" Sam's hand moved like a flash to Rainbow's muzzle, cutting her off. He was gentle as ever, but his hand held her mouth closed as surely as if someone had banded it in iron.

"Don't say that Dash, please. You think you're in love. Maybe you are. That'd be worse. I don't blame you for not understanding my situation. We come from different worlds." Sam sighed, letting go of Rainbow's muzzle slowly. He studied her silently. "What would you say if I told you I loved one of Fluttershy's rabbits, and was going to marry it and start a family?"

"You... What? That's ridiculous! Are you sick or something?" Rainbow was really confused now. Was Sam serious?

"It was to illustrate a point, Dash. I don't love rabbits. But let's say you grew up in a place where some people loved rabbits. Not even rabbits like Fluttershy's. Rabbits that had not even a hint of higher intelligence. Rabbits driven by low instincts and little else. Rabbits that don't know what love is, let alone can return it to those few people that love rabbits like that. Now imagine all the animals are like that, and there are people that love those animals like that. Where it's physically possible, at least. Can you?"

"But, That's... That's not right. How could something that can't love you back let someone..." Rainbow shook her head, her eyes a little wild.

"They can't. Maybe some animals enjoy it, maybe they don't. They aren't given a choice. Where I grew up, there are people like that." Sam sighed, looking down. "Society doesn't treat them very well, and I can't bring myself to blame it. My point, Dash, is that ponies in my world aren't like you. they're like rabbits... Do you understand what I'm getting at?"

"No, I don't!" Rainbow cried out. "What are you trying to say? That I'm a stupid animal to you?" With this, Rainbow burst into tears and curled up on her side. She slowly rocked back and forth on the couch, tears running down her cheek fur again.

"Damn it all... I wish you could have left this alone Dash." Looking more like a broken down old man than one in his prime, Sam slowly got out of his chair and sat down next to Rainbow on the couch. He hesitantly reached out a hand, eventually laying on Rainbow's back lightly. "Please stop crying Dash. I don't think of you like that. That's as much the problem as anything else..."

Rainbow's sobs eventually slowed, Sam awkwardly stroking her back. She slowly raised her head, looking at him with watery, reddened eyes. "Why? If you don't think I'm some kind of animal, what's wrong with us being together? This doesn't make sense. Ponies get together with gryphons, donkeys, even dragons!"

"Rainbow... Where I grew up, humans are the only people. Donkeys are animals, and gryphons and dragons don't exist. In my world, some people don't even think some humans should love each other. I grew up somewhere there's a lot of that sentiment floating around. People told me to believe that, and I think I did for a long time. It took a while for me to start thinking for myself, and realize that to me, that was wrong." Sam sighed. He closed his eyes and pulled his hand back from Rainbow's back, a look of regret passing over his face. "It's hard to explain, Dash. I see you, but I see a pony, too. It's taken me two years to be okay with being around ponies. And for more than a year I've seen you try to get closer and closer to me, chipping away at my walls. Well, here we are Dash. Here's me, inside the barriers. A man that can't touch you because of what he's afraid he'll feel. A man that loves you more than anyone else he ever has some days, and wants to throw himself off the side of Canterlot the rest of them."

Rainbow stared at Sam, at his tortured looking face, tears falling from his eyes into the impotently open hands he had let fall limp into his lap. She couldn't stand seeing him like this. It was infinitely worse than the edges of sadness she'd seen peeking out when he glanced at a happy couple, or parents with a foal. And she had done it to him. It wasn't her fault, just like he'd said, but how could she fix this? As far as Dash could see, this was an internal battle that'd been raging in Sam since he'd realized he was probably never going back home.

"Did you ever want kids, Dash? I did. I always thought I'd settle down with a nice girl and have a son and a daughter. I'd take care of them, raise them good, give 'em everything I could and let 'em go. I gave that idea up my second month in Equestria, when Twilight told me my cells were being replaced with foreign matter. Who knows what would happen to a baby with half it's DNA charged up with magic?"

"But... With the magic of love, we could have kids! Umm, I think anyway. It's a chance, though, right? I bet Twilight would know..." Rainbow's mind was racing, trying to think of arguments against this. She was so scared. This was going out of control and she didn't know how to fix it, like she was in a dive, out of control, and the ground was rushing up to smash her into pieces. she slowly shifted position so that she could lay her neck against Sam's side, one of her hoofs sliding into his listless, open palm, still sitting in his lap. He didn't pull away, but his hand stayed lax, feeling like a dead weight under her hoof. Fresh tears spilled from Sam's eyes, some of them hitting her.

"And what would they be, Dash? Ponies? Humans? Something in between? Just like me, the only ones of their kind. I can't even think about cursing my offspring to the hand I've been dealt."

"No, we'd never let them feel like anything but our children we love! You think just because they look different I'd care about them less? It should already be obvious that I don't think like that!" Rainbow looked up into Sam's face, a fierce look on hers. What she saw made her want to start crying again. Sam was looking back down at her, that look she had seen the edges of for so long now, with none of the walls up to protect her from the depths of its desolation. With that infinitely sad little smile on his face, Sam spoke.

"I know that Dash. You're a wonderful person, and that thought couldn't cross your mind. I'm just so desperately scared I might, and they could see it. I can't even touch you without feeling like a monster. How could I hold our children?" Sam looked away from her, then. He couldn't take what he saw. Rainbow crushed her face into his side, her forelegs encircling his waist as fresh sobs racked her. "I'm so sorry, Dash. I wanted to spare you this. I've known for a long time that even if I could bring myself to give in to what I feel about you, I'd never deserve you. I'm so fucked up. I don't know what to do anymore."

Slowly, hesitantly, Sam picked his hand up. He lay it gently over Rainbow's head, and softly stroked her mane. How long had he wanted to do this? He'd give in, just once. For a while, he let all his prejudices go, and let himself love her like she wanted him to, if only on the inside. Stroking her beautiful prismatic mane, he let her in, past all the societal conditioning he'd tried to break through, all the notions of right and wrong he'd been trying to rationalize. For a little while, he wasn't Sam the human. He was only Sam that loved Rainbow Dash.

Twilight found them in the same position later that night. Rainbow was asleep, having cried herself out on Sam's lap. "Take her home please, Twilight. Try not to wake her, she's had a rough night." Twilight opened her mouth, ready to speak, but the look on Sam's face quieted her. She sighed, nodded once, and carefully wrapped Rainbow in her telekinetic field, pulling her away from Sam and out the door. Alone again, Sam dropped his gaze to his lap. In it rested a single cyan feather.

"She must have pulled it out on purpose... These don't just fall out." Carefully picking up the feather, he spun it slowly through his fingers, chuckling brokenly. "She never gives up, heh."

In the morning, Sam was gone.

Author's Note

So... going to leave this incomplete for the moment. I might continue it if anyone expresses an interest.

Written on and off over a period of ten hours, with many cigarette breaks, so not really fleshed out or edited in any way. I need to work on my writing process =/

In other news, blame RealityCheck =D

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...

"Stupid Sam... Stupid me... Stupid EVERYTHING!" Rainbow Dash thrashed around listlessly in the knotted bundle of covers and sheets she'd made of her bedding. Deciding her halfhearted attempts to escape the fluffy prison weren't cutting it, she streamlined her limbs and squirmed her way free of the mess, dropping onto the floor off the side of the bed. The sudden change in equilibrium brought on a surge of nausea, which she fought down fiercely. For a mare that mostly slept on fluffy clouds, bed sheets and wood floors was taking some getting used to.

Three months ago, Sam had left Ponyville. Taking nothing but a backpack of clothes and some bits, he'd seemingly disappeared from the face of Equestria. Rainbow, in a perhaps less than stable state of mind at the time, had decided to keep his house in order while he was gone. Because he was obviously coming back. He'd be back any day now. Who wanted to come back to a messy house when they came home? Dash was sure he'd appreciate it. She could just picture it in her mind, the day he came back...

"Hi, Dash!" A disheveled looking Sam strode through the doorway into the living room, dropping his battered pack in the hallway on the way in, a weary smile on his face. "I'm back from my very important, super deep journey of self discovery! It took me far too long to realize I'm an idiot that let stupid things that don't even matter anymore get in the way of how I feel about you! Let's get marri-!" BAM! That's when the double back hoofed flying tackle would hit him in the face. Then the house would be on fire, while she sat on a nice cloud outside eating popcorn.

Rainbow shook her head vigorously, trying to dispel the disturbingly satisfying images from her brain.

Slowly, she wandered through the house. In the kitchen the drying rack for dishes held two glasses, two plates and a fork. She quietly stowed the dishes in their cupboards, her hoof lingering on one of the glasses as she slid it in.

*=*

"Hey, AJ, teach me how to cook."

"What's that, sugar plum?" A bemused Applejack looked up from gathering the apples that had fallen from her latest buck. On top of a nearby haystack, the back of a prismatic head could be seen, an equally multicolor tail spilling off the side. A cyan foreleg lazily waved in slow circles. Rainbow always seemed to be talking with her hooves, Applejack mused.

"You know, cooking. I'm more of a take-out kinda girl." Or an invite yourself over to friends houses for dinner kind of girl, Applejack thought with a light chuckle. "You're always cooking for that big family of yours. I thought you could, you know, show me the ropes? It's a good way to save bits, cooking for... Yourself, right?"

Oh. The slight catch in Rainbow's voice was telling Applejack a lot more than she wanted it to. Turning back to her apples, she started gathering them up again. "Well, sure hun, never hurt a girl to know her way around an oven or a frying pan. Why, I reckon we could even start tonight if you got time. You free around four?" Applejack sniffled lightly as she carried another load of apples to the waiting bin on her cart.

"Yeah, I can swing that. Gotta jet now though, take care of a couple things. Can I get an apple for the road?" Rainbow rose up onto all fours from her supine position on the haystack. A shiny red apple came lofting over from Applejacks direction. Rainbow lightly hopped up, caught it in her mouth, and proceeded to chew it up noisily. "Huh, this apple's kinda salty."

"Sorry, hun, shined it up for ya. Mah leg mighta' been a mite sweaty." Rainbow slowly stopped chewing, but then shrugged, and finished the apple.

"Eww. We are going to be washing up before we cook, right AJ?" Applejack finally turned around to face Rainbow, her eyes a little shiny, but a wide smile on her face.

"Eyup, that there's the first rule of cookin' in the Apple kitchen. Hopefully you can learn it better'n 'Bloom."

*=*

Closing the door to the cupboard with a sigh, Rainbow turned around and trotted into the living room. A couple bottles of SAA Private Stock were scattered through the room. She shuffled about, picking one up off the floor in front of the couch, another from the small table next to the lounger. She placed them down on the battered table in the middle of the room, deciding she'd wait until she had a saddlebag's worth before she flew the empties out to the farm. Shouldn't take too long.

The curved indent in the side facing Rainbow caught her eye, and she reached a hoof out to absently trace the cracked wood, her eyes wandering to the now pristine wall across the room.

*=*

Twilight's purple magical aura surrounded the table, and unceremoniously yanked it out of the wall, plaster and boards scattering out from the force of her pull. Floating it over to where she vaguely remembered it had sat, she dropped it.

"Hey, Twi! Be careful!" Rainbow flapped lightly over, bending down to examine the floor where the heavy table had landed. Dented. Four nice big dents in the otherwise pristine floor. Well, aside from the rubble strewn over that bit. Nothing a bit of sweeping couldn't put right. Twilight turned toward her with a snort of agitation.

"Why should I be? Look at this mess. He could have hurt you, Rainbow. I never would have thought it to be the case, but Sam is dangerous." Twilight stepped aside then as Big Mac trotted over to the wall. He inspected it as Rainbow fluttered over to hover anxiously over his shoulder, patently ignoring Twilight's statement.

"Can you fix it, Mac? There isn't all that much damage." Twilight scoffed loudly, tossing her mane in frustration but otherwise holding her tongue. Big Mac rubbed his hoof lightly on his chin, peering into the cavity left by the table. Outside, a light rain was falling on the town, the debris cast out onto the ground slowly darkening as the rain soaked it down.

"Eyup. Tomorrow." Turning away from the hole, he started making his way across the living room to the entryway. Rainbow continued hovering right next to him, a beaming smile radiating out from her face.

"Awesome! You're the best, Mac! I'll pay you whatever it costs, just hoof me the bill whenever." Big Mac paused on his way out of the house. He turned back to regard Rainbow.

"No charge. Ms. Dash, Ms. Sparkle." He nodded to each in turn, then ambled out into the rain. Rainbow waved him off exuberantly, while Twilight waved a hoof absently as she levitated a tarp over the hole in the wall. She affixed it there with a few nails, hammered in with perhaps a bit more force, and perhaps a little more noise than was absolutely necessary. Muttering lightly, she started levitating the debris from around the living room into a sack.

"Rainbow, listen to me. Sam is obviously dangerous. From what you told me, he just exploded into violence." Rainbow turned back to Twilight from her position of gazing out the door. She laughed, but there was evident strain in her voice.

"Come on, Twi. He was just blowing off some steam. I pushed him to it. You know how I am, sometimes. Don't know when to give up the ghost. We were talking about some heavy stuff." Rainbow waved off Twilight's argument, but her forced nonchalance wasn't fooling Twilight for a second. She could see the stiffness in Rainbow's shoulders, her seeming inability to meet Twilight's gaze for more than a moment. Twilight pressed on.

"Are you kidding me? You call this letting off some steam? That's like saying Pinkie is a little strange, or, or, Fluttershy's a bit timid! He really could have hurt you Rainbow, don't you see that?"

Suddenly, Rainbow was right in Twilights face. Her forelegs gripped Twilights shoulders in what seemed like a vise. "Of course I do, Twi! I'm not stupid! But what matters is he didn't! He could never hurt me! He loves me!" Rainbow's face, so angry a moment ago, crumpled in on itself. All the fear and worry she'd been holding inside broke out, and her eyes welled up with tears. Her voice took on a manic, pleading tone as Twilight struggled to break out of her hold. "Don't you get it? He just feels bad he made me cry. He's just gotta have some time to himself... Work out some stuff, you know? He could be back any minute..."

Rainbow slowly slumped down, her grip on Twilights shoulders loosening as the strength left her legs, and it seemed to Twilight as if the hold on her shoulders was the only thing keeping Rainbow up. Twilight couldn't believe what she was seeing. Where had the strong, brash Rainbow she knew gone? Not knowing what else to do, she slid forward, her hooves coming up to cradle Rainbow as she guided her down to the floor. Sobs wracked Rainbows body as she wrapped her hooves around Twilights withers, her face buried in Twilights neck. What in Tarturus was going on?

"Rainbow, what are you talking about? What do you mean, he LOVES you? Where did all this come from?" Unable to bring herself to speak, Rainbow pulled one of her forelegs away from Twilight to listlessly wave over her shoulder. Twilight followed the motion to where a rolled up scroll was sitting on the table beside the lounger. She levitated the scroll over, and unrolled it, reading it as Rainbows shoulders continued to heave under her. As Twilight read on, her expression of confusion was replaced by a slowly dawning horror. Her magic fading, the scroll fell to the floor and rolled itself back up, forgotten. Twilights gaze slowly lowered to the cyan pony, her limbs locked around Twilight as if the hold was keeping her from drowning. Maybe it was.

"Oh, Celestia. Oh, Rainbow..."

*=*

Rainbow trotted down the hallway from the living room, her hooves taking her into the bathroom. She felt like this day was taking forever to start. She should be out there, rocketing through the sky. Her tryout routine for the Wonderbolts must be getting stale by now. She idly ran a bath as her mind wandered over the tricks she had planned, the intervening choreography.

"I really shouldn't do the Rainboom. They've seen it, they now I got it. But the only other finisher I've got for the routine is the Buccaneer Blaze, and I come out of the Gravity Well too low and slow to set it up..." Rainbow climbed into the steaming bathtub, her hoof reaching over to the side shelf and retrieving a bar of soap and hoof cloth. "Maybe I could try a Hoofshot, throw in a couple inverted corks on the climb..." Her hooves working methodically, Rainbow dash scrubbed her fur. The absent, practiced motions relaxed her as she continued muttering. "Once I get up there, I'm gonna be short on time. A straight dive would do the job... But it's boring. I could pull a low yo-yo..." Pulling the plug on the bath, Rainbow rinsed herself off, the sudsy, dirty water sliding down the drain. She broke off her soliloquy to watch the water swirl into the hole, then plugged it and filled the bath again.

Sliding back into the clean water, Rainbow sighed, her mind wandering. A twinge in her back startled her, and she leaned forward, bringing her wings out to her sides to inspect them. "Bedwings. Argh. I hate that." Her feathers were ruffled madly, disordered and poking out in odd places along the length of her cyan wings. Sighing, Rainbow began to preen. "Geez, if Rarity could see me now. 'Oh my goodness, dear! Why, your wings are all of a kerfuffle. Tsk tsk tsk, you MUST take better care of yourself, darling. Now get in the dress. do iiiiit.' She'd have kittens! Then put me in a dress." The mental imagery wrung a chuckle out of Rainbow, until the thought of half a dozen mini Opalescences lounging around, their tiny claws digging into her like a pawful of hypodermics stopped her short. She shuddered, and returned to her preening.

Running her mouth across her left wings primaries, she happily noted the feather she'd lost was fully regrown. Rarity really had helped her out, she shouldn't get so down on her...

*=*

"I really must insist that you hold still, dear. Imping feathers is a delicate art, and with all this shuffling about, I'm likely to break a blood feather."

Rainbow lay on her stomach, her left wing extended into Rarity's hooves as her magical aura shifted the yellow feather Fluttershy had donated to Rainbow and applied another tiny splint. Rarity tsked lightly, cocking her head this way and that as she inspected her latest addition, eventually nodding in satisfaction and picking up another splint to apply.

"Really, dear, you treat these wonderful appendages far too roughly. All those crashes. It's a wonder you're not constantly anemic from the blood loss." Rainbow took another swig from her bottle of cider, silently grinding her teeth in aggravation. This was not her idea of a fun afternoon. Unfortunately it was necessary. She really had been losing a lot of feathers lately, and the lost primary had been protecting a dense area of growing feathers. Without it, an injury there could get really messy. And so she lay, like a beached whale, wishing the cider could anesthetize her to Rarity's constant nattering. At least she hadn't propositioned her for another fashion show. yet.

"I hear ya Rarity, but what am I supposed to do? Strap pillows to my wings? You can't be the number one flyer in Equestria without pushing the limit. The road to pure radicalness is paved with the bruises and blood of past mistakes. Or something like that." Rainbow shifted position slowly, trying to find a more comfortable position without jostling her wing. Rarity humphed lightly, her gaze steady on Rainbows wing as her magic continued to implant the donor feather.

"To each their own, I suppose. I am perfectly content to walk my own less... brutal path to personal excellence. Speaking of, what new maneuver lost you your feather? I haven't heard any loud thumps or explosions in the last few days." Rainbow stiffened. This was a conversation she could really do without, especially with this pony.

"It just fell out, Rarity. Maybe it got loosened up from one of my crashes." Rainbow took a hasty gulp of her cider, turning away from Rarity. Just drop it, please.

"Come now, dear, I've probably done this a hundred times. I'm staring right at the socket, and I can tell this feather was pulled out. Whatever reason could you have for pulling one of your primaries out, Rainbow? Wouldn't that impair your ability to fly? Can't exactly be pushing the limit when you're not at one hundred percent." Rainbow shuffled guiltily, then turned back to Rarity, who had paused in her work to look up into Rainbows face.

"...Fine. I gave it to someone, okay Rarity? Now you can go all gaga about ancient Pegasus traditions, squeal at me about how UTTERLY romantic it all is, and pester me unstoppably about who I gave it to. Bring it on." Rainbows slightly petulant gaze was met by Rarity's thoughtful one.

"No. I think not. You gave it to Sam, correct?" Rainbow flinched back at the casualness with which Rarity spoke his name. Everyone had been so careful about not mentioning him around her. "While it might be a wonderfully romantic gesture, I won't be 'squealing', as you so eloquently put it, about circumstances that are more in keeping with Romareo and Muliet than When Harness Met Chalet." Rainbow regarded Rarity quizzically, her curiosity momentarily overshadowing her jumble of conflicted feelings.

"Whozit and what? What are you talking about?" Rarity sighed.

"Never mind, dear. They're stories, ones that I'm not surprised you haven't perused. Suffice it to say that what you are going through needs to be addressed in a more serious manner than, ahem, squealing. You aren't talking about this to anyone else," Rarity raised her hoof to stall the objection Rainbow was about to make, "I asked the girls. So, you are going to talk about this with ME. This is not up for discussion." Letting go of Rainbow's wing, Rarity settled into a more comfortable position while Rainbow did the same, flexing the new feather.

"Stop me any time, but this is how I understand the situation so far. After more than a year of flying ever smaller circles around each other, you decided to force the issue while confronting Sam on a pretext." Rainbows eyes widened, then narrowed, a slightly hurt and angry look settling on her face.

"It wasn't a pretext! He was sad all the time, you even agreed with me when I brought it up!" Rarity nodded, her gaze even.

"That I did. If you'll remember, I also had certain reservations about you being the one to approach him about it. Regardless, you pushed him into making admissions he wasn't ready to deal with. Dragged out emotions that were all twisted up together into a messy knot he was still trying to unravel. Of course, this isn't to say that his reaction was warranted. He obviously overreacted in more than one way. Be that as it may, a stallion, or man as the case may be, has to own up to his actions. I can only say that he was childish and cowardly." Rarity nodded her head once, emphatically, expelling a small hmph of displeasure. Rainbow regarded her friend, surprised she could be taking this so seriously. A thought occurred to her.

"You're not just talking about the table, are you?"

"Well of course not! I'm talking about how he abandoned you in your hour of need!" Rarity exploded, her hooves wildly gesticulating, a look of almost fury dancing in her eyes. "How could he just run out on you like that? He should have held you close and comforted you! He should have whispered phrases of endearment into your ear until you calmed down, then worked out his issues with you instead of gallivanting off into the sunset to most likely brood in isolation! He should have taken you into his arms and shown you how special you were to him, as only a stallion can show a mare!" As her diatribe continued, her forceful tone became more of a dramatic one. "After you both admitted your feelings for one another, no barrier should have been able to keep you apart! You should be sharing this house right now, an intimate dinner in the dining room, a shared laugh while relaxing together in front of the fireplace! This flies in the face of all that is ro-MANCE!" At this last statement Rarity jumped up onto her hind legs, throwing her fore hooves into the air, her head dramatically tossed back. A feint sound brought her out of her moment, and she dropped down onto all four hooves again, regarding Rainbow quizzically.

"REALLY not helping, Rarity." Rainbow ground out through clenched teeth. Her eyes overflowing with anguish, she turned away from Rarity into the couch, smashing a fore hoof into the armrest hard enough for the crack of wood to be heard. Rarity stood gaping at Rainbow, unable to believe what she was seeing. Tossing her mane, she seemed to come out of a fog, and nearly flew across the intervening space to wrap her hooves around Rainbow from behind.

"Oh, Rainbow, I'm so, so sorry. How insensitive could I be? I've read so many stories of love, I was so happy to see it coming true for you! This isn't how it's supposed to go at all!" Rarity felt the unbelievable tension slowly leak out of Rainbow as she let out a long, aggrieved sigh.

"Tell, me about it, Rares. Tell me about it." Turning back toward Rarity, Rainbow hugged her lightly, then reached down to the floor, picking up her half-empty bottle of cider and draining it. Rarity watched her mournful expression for a moment, before screwing up her courage to ask Rainbow the question that had driven her to this conversation.

"I just don't understand though, dear. You are not the kind of mare to take this lying down. Why haven't you gone after him? I feel like I should still be feeling the aftershock of your Rainboom as you sped off after him. Why aren't you trying to find him?" Rainbow looked at Rarity, and the war of indecision was evident behind her eyes. Rarity could tell that was the first thing she would like to be doing right now, but something was holding her back. Eventually, Rainbow broke her gaze away, looking and motioning toward a scroll lying on the small table on the other side of the lounger from them.

"He asked me not to."

*=*

Finished preening, Rainbow hopped out of the tub and pulled the drain plug. Trotting across the bathroom, she retrieved a towel from the shelf and dried herself off, taking special care with her wings. It would be a couple hours before the natural oils on her feathers she'd washed off in the bath came back, so it didn't look like she'd be flying for a bit today. It was raining, and without that oil, her feathers would become plastered to her if they got wet. Big no-no in the flying handbook.

Picking up the towel in her mouth, she walked down the hall and back into the bedroom. Moving over to the clothes hamper, she hooved the floor lever that popped the top open and dropped the towel inside. Or at least, she tried to. How were clothes hampers always full? Shrugging, Rainbow turned back to the bed, resigned to filling up some of her flightless time with clothes washing. She untangled the sheet and covers, and remade the bed. Glancing around the room to she if she'd missed anything, her eyes fell across a long yellow feather on the bedside table.

Turning back to the hamper, she awkwardly picked it up in her fore legs, and duck walked it out of the bedroom, making her way across the hall and into the laundry room. As she filled the scrub bucket up with hot soapy water, her mind wandered back to the sight of the yellow feather, and a tiny smile wandered across her face...

*=*

"He said what about my animals?"

Fluttershy was crouched down in an aggressive stance, her wings spread and face clouded with fury. Rainbow waved her hoofs negatively, trying to calm her down. Angel, looking from one pony to the other wide eyed, was slowly backing out of the room, his paws up defensively as if to ward off one or both of them.

"Sam didn't mean it like that, Shy! He was trying to tell me something about how he was raised. I'm not explaining this right, dammit. Calm down, ok?" Rainbow considered taking a page from Angel at that point. Fluttershy could actually get kind of... Scary when she got like this. She seemed to be calming down, though. Her outbursts never seemed to last long, they were just intense. Fluttershy's breathing slowed, and she straightened up almost reluctantly, her wings folding themselves down onto her sides.

"Well, if you say so. But I still think me and Sam are going to have a long talk before I let him around my little friends again." Fluttershy turned and hopped back up onto her couch, patting the seat next to her in an indication for Rainbow to join her. Rainbow cringed, but mentally blew a sigh of relief at the averted near disaster and rejoined her on the couch. "So, where he comes from humans are the only thinking creatures on the planet? That must be awfully lonely."

Rainbow shrugged. "From some of the things Sam told me, they've got bigger things to be worried about than a touch of loneliness." Like each other, Rainbow mused. "The point is, people there still did, well, things with these animals. Even though they couldn't, I dunno, reciprocate? I guess Sam had some really, what did he call it? Racist? Yeah, racist parents. He grew up hearing stuff about how everyone was beneath them except other people like them, like every day. I guess he actually got into a lot of trouble because of it after he moved away from home to go to school. But anyway, I guess these people with the animals, they were right up there with foalfeelers on the totem pole of hate his parents erected for him." Fluttershy's eyes had rounded through this explanation. Sam had never said anything about this to her. Then again, most of their conversations had revolved around her animals. And Rainbow, of course.

"I don't know what to say Rainbow. That sounds just awful. He must have been so sad growing up like that." Fluttershy's eyes were already tearing up at the thought of it. Rainbow ducked her head a little, not particularly happy about this next part.

"Well, I guess until he got out of his house, he didn't really think anything of it. He grew up in a house that thought like that, in a neighborhood that thought like that, and all his friends thought like that, too. I could tell when he talked about it that it still made him mad, and I guess a bit ashamed." Rainbow could still see the expression on Sam's face when he told her about it. He hadn't been able to meet her eyes, and his cheeks were rigid. She'd been able to tell his teeth were clenched hard enough that Rainbow was afraid he'd break a tooth.

"But Rainbow, this still doesn't explain why he thinks he can't be with you." Fluttershy's face screwed up in consternation. "If he put those attitudes behind him, what's keeping you two apart?" Rainbow sighed. She pulled a scroll out of her saddlebag and, hesitating slightly, handed it over to Fluttershy.

"I'm still not sure I really get it, Shy, but I guess that helped. It at least helped me see that wasn't the only reason Sam felt like he had to leave. You might not want to read it, honestly. There are some things in there I almost couldn't believe until I saw it with my own eyes." Fluttershy was obviously unsure, but after a moment she gained a determined look and reached out for the scroll. Rainbow handed it to her, and sat silently while Fluttershy read. She tried not to look too closely at Fluttershy, but she could tell exactly where she was in the letter as sadness, anger, disbelief and finally resignation crossed her visage. After a while, Fluttershy set the scroll down beside her. A few moments later, she spoke up.

"Rainbow... This is a lot to take in. I know Sam isn't a liar, but some of the things he said in there... I just don't want to believe. I think, umm, I think I need some time. Some time to deal with this." Rainbow nodded, picking the scroll up and putting it back in her bag. She slid off the couch and walked over to the door of Fluttershy's cottage. As she opened it, she turned back to Fluttershy, sadness and understanding plain on her face.

"I understand, Shy. I'll get out of your mane. Thanks again for the feather." She waved her left wing in goodbye, the yellow Pinion standing out against the cyan background.

"See you later, Rainbow. I'll be here for you whenever you need me." Rainbow nodded, a sad smile on her face as she trotted out the door, closing it and shooting up into the sky. Turning slowly, Fluttershy looked out her window in the direction of Ponyville. She wondered if she'd ever see it the same way again.

"Angel," Fluttershy called, her voice cracking lightly, "Come here, please. I think mommy needs a hug..."

*=*

Rainbow finished hanging the laundry up on the drying rack, and dumped the bucket of suds into the drain set into the stone floor of the laundry room. Her hooves clacked lightly against the floor until she stepped back onto the wooden floor of the hallway. She probably had another hour of so before it would be a good idea to fly. Turning her head one way down the hallway then the other, she shrugged, deciding a nap wouldn't be a terrible idea. She turned in to the bedroom, trotting over to the bed and hopping up. pulling the covers aside, she turned a circle, then settled down on her side, pulling the covers up to her chin.

As she settled in, her eyes drifted to the scroll sitting innocuously on the bedside table. Rainbow stared at it blankly. Sighing, she reached out and grabbed it. Unrolling it, she scanning the lines for what seemed like the thousandth time. Her eyes misted up, and she blinked back the tears.

"This is all so wrong." Rainbow muttered. "I feel like I'm having a nightmare. I just want to wake up. If this could all be a dream... I'd give anything. Sam, sometimes I wish I'd never met you..."

In a fit of anger, Rainbow smashed the scroll in between her hooves, crumpling it up into a ball. "AGH!" Rainbow threw the ball of parchment away from her, turning away and rubbing her cheeks roughly with her fore legs.

She lay there for a few minutes, staring at the wall. After an unknown amount of time she stiffly threw the covers off, hopped off the bed and walked over to the ill treated ball of parchment. She gingerly leaned down and picked it up, trotting back to the bed with it, and gently smoothed it down. A little worse for wear, the scroll still rolled up, and she placed it back on the bedside table. She curled up in bed again, covers wrapped around her, her back turned to the scroll and all the emotions it represented. Rainbow slowly drifted off into a fitful slumber.

What seemed to her like only a few minutes later, she was woken up by someone knocking on the front door. She knew that knock, and the cheerful voice that followed it...

*=*

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* "Dashy!" *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* "Dashy!" *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* "Dashy!"

Rainbow opened the front door to the House, blinking owlishly. "Pinkie, do you know what time it is?" The boisterous pink mare bounced in place, a smile beaming out onto Rainbow.

"Of course I do Dashy! It's just past midnight! The witching hour! Spooooky!" Pinkie waved her forelegs in Rainbow's direction, making what she assumed were Pinkie's approximation of ghost noises. "I know you've been feeling down, with the whole Sam disappearing into the ether thing, so I thought I'd bring you to a party!"

Rainbow stared at Pinkie, her tired brain trying to process this. After a moment, she shook her head tiredly. "This isn't one of those times where I can tell you to go to bed and close my door and it will make the slightest difference, is it?"

"Nope!"

"Let's go, then." Rainbow stepped out the door, closing it behind her. She let out a yawn as she followed the happily bouncing pony through town, but frowned as she noticed they were walking right past Sugarcube Corner without slowing down.

"Hey Pinkie, where exactly is this party?"

"I don't know!" The pink pony pronounced, continuing to bounce happily down the street.

"Then... Who's it for? Or what's it about?" Rainbow asked, becoming a little aggravated.

"I don't know!" Pinkie proclaimed again in her usual exuberant manner. Rainbow groaned.

"So... We're going someplace you're not sure where it is, to go to a party we don't know anything about? Pinkie, are you sure there's a party?" Pinkie halted, turning to Rainbow with an eyebrow lifted and an incredulous look on her face.

"Really? Come on, it's this way." Pinkie turned tail and continued on her bouncy way, a reluctant Rainbow trailing behind. The pair continued down the byways of Ponyville, Pinkie humming a catchy little ditty while Rainbow lifted off, flapping along slowly behind her. Eventually they came up to a modest looking house, well-lit from the inside compared to the surrounding houses of the neighborhood, who seemed to all have taken to their beds.

As they approached the door, it opened, and a pony Rainbow vaguely recognized from around the marketplace trotted out, waving his hoof over his shoulder. He turned his head back to the path, and blanched as Pinkie and Rainbow came into his view. Skirting them quickly, he hurried off down the road. Pinkie followed his retreating back with her gaze for a few moments before shrugging. "I wonder what Prim was in such a hurry about. Oh well, let's get in there Dashy!" Rainbow sighed, following Pinkie into the house through the still open door. There weren't many ponies inside, mostly twos and threes scattered around the rooms in the first floor. Rainbow didn't really recognize any of them more than vaguely. For the most part Pinkie greeted them all, so she imagined they must all be residents of Ponyville.

Everypony seemed to be reacting to Pinkie and Rainbow the same way the pony at the door had, though. They all seemed to notice them coming through, nod vaguely or squeak at Pinkie's greetings, then quickly shuffle off toward the exit. Rainbow was getting a bad feeling about this, but her sleep fogged brain couldn't seem to connect the dots.

Pinkie and Rainbow moved into the last room on the first floor of the house. It was large, sparsely decorated, and a small crowd of ponies seemed to be finishing up a toast. Upon entering the room, Pinkie's hair instantly drooped. Her eyes darted frantically to the banner, the decorations, and finally the cake. Her eyes locked onto it. Rainbow, still bleary from lack of sleep, strained her eyes to see what had gotten Pinkie in such a state. She gave up on the banner, the decorations were meh, but the cake seemed to be... It was shaped just like...

"Sam..."

Rainbow turned to the small crowd of ponies, who hadn't seemed to notice her and Pinkie yet. As she did, one of them raised their glass. "Thank Celestia he left when he did. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn't moved on. He was obviously dangerous. As a parent, I feel my foals are much safer with that monster gone." Rainbow's eyes slowly tracked to the banner hung above the mantle. To a chorus of quiet "Hear, hears", her eyes took in what she hadn't been allowing herself to. 'Good Riddance' the banner proclaimed in bold letters. Rainbow landed on the floor with a heavy thud. At the sound, all eyes turned toward her, but were quickly shifted again to a violently twitching Pinkie.

Her mane twitching spasmodically, Pinkie leapt at the table with a cry of, “Cake! Yum!” In a not unusual moment of Pinkie being the mare she was, she landed on the table belly first, sliding along and ingesting the three foot long cake in one go. Coming to the opposite edge of the table, Pinkie landed back on the floor in a foor hoofed slide, her impetus bringing her to a skidding halt in front of the collection of toasting ponies. Her eyes wide and frantic, with a manic grin plastered across her face, she regarded them.

“Boy oh boy, that was a yummy cake. Not some kind of half-eaten effigy, nope nope nope. Effigies always make Pinkie Pie a little off, and my smiles a mile wide, right?” To the confused and slowly horrified ponies, Pinkie’s grin became something most likely impossible for another pony to replicate, an almost deaths head grin. Her gums showed as all her teeth flashed at the more than slightly discomfitted partiers.

“I really gotta say, though. These decorations are totally inadequate for such a big occasion. Whatever it is. No telling, I’ll figure it out!” Bouncing frantically around the room, Pinkie haphazardly tore streamers, balloons, and most emphatically that damning banner off the walls. Her eyes darting around the room, her gaze came to rest on the open fireplace, a merry blaze crackling away inside. She unceremoniously pitched the lot into it, practically smothering it. One of the ponies seemed to snap out of their almost entranced state, clearing her throat.

“I say, What are you doing? This is a private gathering!” Instantly Pinkie was right in her face, breathing heavily. Her left eye twitched, her disturbing grin unchanged as she stared down the mare. Something that might generously be described as a chuckle ground out of Pinkie’s throat.

“Well, I’m cleaning up this disgusting mess, silly. As the premier party pony of Ponyville, I can’t let this kind of terrible work stand. Don’t worry, I’ll spruce these decorations up!” Reaching back into her saddlebag, Pinkie pulled out a rumpled streamer and some un-inflated balloons and dropped them on the floor behind her. “See, all better? Now that my work is done, I’m going to take my friend home. Parties should be fun, and I don’t think she’s having any.”

With that, the pink party mare pivoted, nearly crashing her rump into the dumbfounded and slightly terrified mare, and bounced back to Dash’s side. Dash hadn’t moved, her gaze locked forward. She muttered something under her breath, too lightly to be heard, but made no sign of moving as Pinkie nuzzled her lightly.

“Come on Dashy, Time to go home.” Pinkie murmured as she slid her neck under the stunned pony’s midriff, settling her on her back and trotting back through the house and out into the night. No one said a word, their eyes riveted on the face of the multicolored mare, and her expression of disbelief.

As Pinkie made her way through the darkened streets, she felt Rainbow begin to shudder. She stopped, carefully sliding Rainbow off her back and onto the ground. She lightly lay a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Dashy. That was a terrible party. I wanted to make you smile. Those ponies…” Pinkie broke off suddenly, her hair completely deflating.

Rainbow wasn't just crying. As the tears spilled from her eyes, broken chuckles could barely be heard. Pinkie watched, unable to say anything as the black mirth spilled out of Rainbow. “I didn’t want to believe it… Man, what a joke.”

*=*

Rainbow rolled away from the noise, wrapping herself deeper in her cocoon of blankets. Eventually the knocking faded. She wasn't up to seeing Pinkie today. Seeing that smiling face, and the pain behind it, wasn't something she wanted to deal with. No matter how many times Rainbow told her it was alright, and wasn't her fault, she could tell Pinkie still felt like it was HER that had hurt Rainbow, not some ignorant ponies.

Screwing her eyes shut, Rainbow sighed. Maybe flying practice wasn't such a good idea today. Going out was getting more and more complicated. So many ponies would want to talk to her about things she'd as well leave be. It was easier to just stay in. And what if Sam came home while she was out! That would be terrible. Rainbow couldn't handle terrible right now.

Besides, there was always tomorrow.

Author's Note

Well, you asked for it. Now suffer the consequences. Sorry it took so long, work and my neurosis got in the way.

Next chapter will be Sam-centric. After that will be the letter, then hopefully as little as two more chapters to complete it.

Apologies for Pinkie, she really loves Sheldon.

Also, thanks to Lonelydarkness for taking a look at it and telling me it wasn't garbage, and fferror for pointing out some of my silly mistakes! I make no claims toward ALL my silly mistakes being corrected, but that's my fault =P