Fallout Equestria: The Silk Road

by Iceblaster

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Adventure
Length: 6596

A merchant is a rather dangerous job in the Equestrian Wasteland. Not everyone makes it. The few prosperous ones grow large and powerful rapidly. Following the lives of two merchants in this... Silk Road of businesses.

The market for merchants in the Equestrian wasteland has grown rapidly. With coalitions of ponies arising, forming nations and the requirement for large amounts of supplies from abroad. With that, many shipping and caravan companies began to profit. However, instead of the titans on the scene, the plight of the merchants on the road is barely elaborated on.

Dusty Trails and Kevlar, both nicknames the two have taken on as their official names, are some of these merchants. Part of the unemployed merchants, simply buying low selling high without the help of some name brand.

I apologize to any broken canon, though let me know when. I'll happily fix it!

This is a revamp of the old version of the fic. It shall be worked on until I get it to an acceptable state. It will be changed from on hiatus to incomplete when I get a second chapter up.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-05 05:40:02 UTC

Intro

Initializing…

…

…

Initialized.

Dead Money

Honest Hearts

Old World Blues

Lonesome Road

Gun Trotter's Arsenal

Begin character creation(3 Char. Creation mods detected)

Dusty Trails. Unicorn Mare. Level 13

Strength 5

Perception: 5

Endurance: 8

Charisma: 6

Intelligence: 6

Agility: 9

Luck: 1

Barter: 60

Guns: 55

Medicine: 40

Trigger Discipline

Lightweight: Alcohol gives a -2 to charisma and a -2 to strength and intelligence. Endurance and agility also take a -1 penalty however due to your susceptibility and the kindness of strangers, you get a +3 to luck.

Perks:

Black Widow

Cherchez La Femme

Rapid Reload

Ferocious Loyalty

Gunslinger

Cowmare

Accept this character? Y/N?

Preparing for Alternative Start… Character Mod detected.

Would you like to create a companion? Y/N

Initializing Companion Creator…

Done.

Kevlar. Earth Pony Stallion. Level 12

Strength: 5

Perception: 5

Endurance: 3+1

Charisma: 8

Intelligence: 8

Agility: 3+2

Luck: 6

Sneak: 60

Barter: 35

Guns: 24

Good Natured

Early Bird

Perks:

Rapid Reload

Fortune Finder

Scrounger

Intense Training(3)

Preparing for Alternative Start…

Done…

Welcome to the world of the Equestrian Wasteland.

Many tell me I’m an asshole, and honestly? Fuck them.

I’m probably nicer than that bandit who tries to steal their shit once they get far enough from civilized ponies. Of course I’m still an asshole. Can’t change what you are and as I’ve said many times before, honestly, you can’t get by being a nicey nice pussy who runs from everything, however you wouldn’t tell my position on that from looking at Kevlar and his… Tendencies. Yeah, he’s an Earth Pony, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a fucking wimp;I’ve tried toughening him up and now he doesn’t start crying his eyes out when a pony dies and gladly, I wouldn’t take it back to save my life. I probably saved him from a bit more family troubles by taking him away with promises to his parents jokingly, “Sex, Drugs, and Money.”

It ended with me being shot in the hoof and them saying yes.

Anyway, after that my brahmin, him and I went out to go fulfil at least two things in that and we were… sort of successful. I mean, sure I couldn’t get the sex that I actually wanted, but you know. That’s not as important. Money however was always disposable after our second trading route was opened, mainly to The Herd and back, and surprisingly, they paid a lot for some… undesirable materials. They keep drug trade under the table and they pay a lot just to keep me from speaking up about them breaking their tribe’s rules. I’ve gotten maybe… two thousand caps from one run from just that.

Now, I’ve been asked why my Duster is armored with what looks to be metal armor, and I can neither confirm nor deny that I killed somepony with metal armor. I recall it being from an already dead pony who happened to have a second set of armor nearby and so Kevlar’s is armored as well, though he insists on having it dyed black. Fucking hell...

So now, I'm not sure on how I want to go about working the land now. Honestly, Kevlar's been all giddy about where we're going, and all I can say is that I hope I don't get shot and killed like all of his other plans come close to doing.

What is a Life's Worth?

Great. Trotting along to who the fuck knows and now we're under attack by fucking bandits. Goddamnit. Six shots. Won't need more. Taking cover behind a rock while my friend and our Brahmin run off, I spun my revolver's cylinder and waited for my chance.

Bullets hit the ground around me, causing a flurry of swears to leave my mouth. "Come on out trader! We just want your gear!"

I levitated my revolver out of my cover, firing off three shots that were bound to miss. "Today of all fucking days..." I mumbled.

"Insistent on not giving it up? Fine!" A mare immediately charged me with a bat, nails protruding from random spots in it.

"Stay the fuck away!" I threw a hoof in her direction and brought my pistol to the back of her head, an orange glow surrounding it and pulled the trigger and just as quick as this pony appeared, it was dead.

"Fine you bitch! Mark my words, next time we meet your head will be our l-" I fired the revoler, the stallion dropping dead.

"Next time, just run. 'Kay?" I chuckled to myself. "Now where did those pussies run off to?" I mumbled, trotting towards the frightened moos from our pack Brahmin -who I named Benny.

"They gone?" A head popped out from behind a boulder. "Dust, good job. Showed ‘em what for."

"Right right. Just hurry up and let's get to... Uh... Where are we going anyway?"

"Pegas baby!"

"Goddamnit.”

My name is Dusty Trails. I am a merchant in this here desert. The... Moohave desert…

Goddamnit I fucking hate those puns. Why is it anytime I go some place the name has a pun. Fucking hell…

On me, I'm a unicorn mare, I have a… Dusty colored coat. Bet you didn’t guess that. Anyway, my mane is more of a black, I don't wear it fancy or anything, just a simple long and straight mane cut.

Normally I wear a duster. Why? Helps conceal my revolver. Never know when that random traveller will try to kill ya.

If you expected a more long winded talk, I can’t believe you had standards that high.

“Come on Dusty, why are you so uptight about the names?” My partner, Kevlar -long story short, he was born into a mercenary family- asked, sighing as we trotted towards the ever approaching city.

"Because, in my opinion, if you can't name a city without consulting an anatomy book, why bother?" I said rhetorically, expecting the same old answer.

"Because it's creative compared to those zebras!"

We continued trotting, though I took the lead, so I was unable to see Kevlar and his oh so hilarious hoof movements while he talks. “Right, not being able to pronounce it is great. Here’s a suggestion. You shut up about that and we continue trading with them. They pay great as long as we disarm and all that” I noticed a radroach out of the corner of my eye. “Fucking Radroaches…”

I kicked a rock on the thing's direction, it skittering back where it came.

“Dusty, come on, you can’t be serious. We’re betraying our own kind by trading with them!”

“Yeah, and? I came into this business to make caps to live a comfortable life. Not to get a lesson in ethics from my best friend” I turned my head to him, still trotting ahead, though mainly by memory. “Plus, we have this conversation every other week. I kinda hate saying the same thing. Now if we could just hurry up and get this run done, it’d be great.” I allowed him to pass me, he taking the message to take the lead. “I need to check the bags real quick…”

I put my off on Benny’s back, he remembered the gesture and slowed down to where I could look in his bags while we move.

“Scrap… rifle… bullets… Food… What the fuck is this…” I reached in and found something I don’t remember putting in from the previous stop. A poker chip. I considered pocketing it however it'd probably be better to just leave it and hope it isn't evil or something. “Hey Kevlar, check the other side for our stuff, I think a bullet hit one of the bags” He nodded, falling back followed by a zipper being heard.

“Nah, we’re good. Though we may need to get some more water. Think we’ll be able to turn a profit even without a bit of food in the trading side?” He closed the zipper and trotted over to me as I closed up my side as well. "Regardless though, hate that last traveller just handed us a bunch of junk..."

“We can pick some up at a restaurant. I’ve heard of the gourmet they have in New Pegas and I’d like to try some if we have the caps” I chuckled and took the lead once more. I however was looking forward to more… seedy aspects. Heard there were some nice stallions there. As we approached the gates that led into Freemane, the outlines of some ponies began to show itself and honestly, fuck them.

"Dusty, the welcoming party is here?" I could almost taste the apathy. Bitter bitter apathy.

"'Ey lookie here!" On of the two poorly dressed stallions said, removing a cigarette from his mouth.

“Fucking hell…” I muttered. “We have some shipments for the various stores, if you could kindly not worry about us, we’ll be in and out before you know it.”

“I think we deserve a cut missie. Open your bags.” the other stallion trotted over to us, Benny backed up a little as he approached him.

“Look, I really just want to get these down to the general store here, I’d rather not get into trouble” I said, gripping my revolver with my magic, ready to pull it out incase they tried something.

The stallion continued trotting over to us, I pulled the hammer on my revolver back -that split second of time saved is always useful- and gripped it harder. He seemed to notice my horn finally and he gripped a knife strapped to his leg in his mouth.

“Hey buddy… mind uh… not picking a fight?” The first stallion said nervously as his friend trotted over to me with the knife, despite probably all evidence telling him not to.

The stallion began a gallop towards me, winding up for a stab however as I have said before, I had prepared for this and swiftly pulled my revolver out, sidestepped -narrowly avoiding a nasty wound from a knife, who knows what could’ve been on it- and pulled the trigger, the revolver launching its sixth bullet into this stallion’s leg, incapacitating him. He let out a shout as he hit the ground, his knife landing beside him.

I began to reload my revolver, being sure to collect the casings for hoof loading later -saved me almost four hundred caps, however collecting the cases is rather annoying. “Now, what was the problem?” I remarked with a smirk as I inserted new .38 bullets into my pistol, making sure they fit in right. Kevlar and Benny trotted over to the gate.

“N-Nothing! Come right in!”

“Gooood” I said as I finished up, spinning the cylinder in a redundant fashion and sticking back into my duster. I trotted past the stallion moaning in pain and trotted into the gates, Kevlar and Benny getting the message to move in behind me. The broken streets of the outskirts of New Pegas were as broken and as littered as one would expect, a foal or two were running around and having genuine fun despite the situation this place was in.

“That was close… well we’d have been fine. You, not so much” Kevlar chuckled, I did not grace him with a response and only left him with a rather boring eye roll. “Fine, Shutting up now, sorry.”

“It’s not that, I much rather would prefer for you to shut up sometimes instead of making a joke out of it” I turned my head towards him, he opened his mouth to say something however just nodded and I smiled. “Great Kevvy, now let’s get this done so we can blow some pocket change at New Pegas” God I sound so stupid saying that.

He blushed of course when I said my little nickname for him, bringing a hoof to the back of his neck to scratch some non existent itch. “Come on Dusty, I really don’t need to have it sound like I’m the weaker one here…”

I trotted over to his side and rubbed a hoof on his back. “Is Kevlar getting angry? I bet he is” I suppressed a giggle, his blush deepened a few more shades of red. He shivered as my hoof made a few journeys around his flank. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed, you know that right?” I stopped petting him and let him calm down before continuing ahead.

“Yeah yeah…” He let out a soft chuckle as I took lead again. “At least we didn’t get any odd looks… hate it when ponies stare” I nodded, stopped as we reach a crossroads. On leading to our destination and the other having the path to New Pegas. Of course we headed down the path, straight ahead really, and as we trotted I noticed that the local gang ‘The Princes’ or whatever the hell it was… ‘Kings’? Fucking hell, whatever it was they need a better name. Anyway, the local gang was a bit more prominent here, there were about three thugs and they seemed content to leave us alone. Maybe they’ve gotten this bandit problem solved.

I decided to play nice with the gang and levitated a small hoof full of caps to one of the gangers that was just waiting around. “Tell your leader thanks for fixing the thug problem around here” I said, he simply nodded and grabbing them with his magic. We reached the end of the road;Taking a sharp right we continued down the path, a ruined building being used by squatters as a more suitable shelter than just a bedroll in the dirt. Can’t say I blame them.

“Hey, you in need of a fix? Got a wide selection of chems for ya” I shook my head, not wanting to deal with non official sources of chems… Heh. Official. Not something you’d expect in the wasteland. Well from a drug dealer in a back alley. "Alright man, but you'll want some eventually."

I motioned for Benny to stay as we reached the general store, the name above it too faded to tell what it was. I pushed the door open, finding a young stallion in a red vest and denim leggings. "Heeeey, Dusty, you're back! Been a while;What do you have for us today?"

I led him outside over to Benny, "Not much compared to the last few times. Might need to stop trading so much with I-88" I chuckled as he looked through the bags, obviously bored by the selection. "Again, apologies if there's nothing of use here, got attacked by raiders in morning, they seemed to have made off with some of our stuff."

An hour or so of bartering later, we had enough caps to get into The Strip... If we hadn’t heard of some terrible tragedy about the ‘Lord of the Strip’ losing a pet courier didn’t send bad omens through us so instead of doing the right thing and getting a weekend of drugs, sex and booze, we’re heading to our home in the middle of nowhere...

So the journey through Old Pegas began, the ruins of the city were a bit… creepy compared to what I was used to, even if the outskirts of New Pegas were the exact same pretty much. Regardless, we trotted through the area, wary of any of these ‘Fiends’ I’ve heard so much about. Stupid name if you ask me;A bunch of druggies that formed a gang? Are you fucking kidding me. Sounds like some foal’s tale about not doing drugs. Personally, any time I’ve been in this general area I’ve never come across them, the whole idea of a drugged up gang was fucking hilarious, however I’ve never dismissed it completely. I’ve heard of what they’ll do if you aren’t dead. Of course I know they're real. Not saying they aren't.

As we moved through the area, I kept a grip on my revolver, spinning the cylinder every once in a while, even if I just wanted to annoy Kevlar with the sound. I held my hoof up and stopped, my friends doing so as well. I pulled my revolver out, prepared to shoot whoever was there, not to protect me, but for them.

"Dusty, what's the matter..." Kevlar asked nervously, his urge to just disappear like all the other times we've been in trouble was almost seeping off of his tongue.

"Heard something, just need to be sure there-" a searing pain cut me short as a red beam got me in my flank, thankfully my duster kept it from being too bad however it was still painful.

"Eep!" I heard Kevlar squeak before galloping off, of course he always shot at them... Just a big pussy some days. I quickly ducked, tuning out the sound of Benny and Kevvy galloping to cover, so I could figure out where this energy weapon using bastard was.

Another beam landed next to me, I quickly followed it and within seconds I had the general location of this pony was. I galloped over to the building, bucked the door open and began to look for the stairs up.

Quiet struck -only interrupted by Kevlar's rifle going off- and while it was a bit creepy considering the lighting of the building, it could be worse. I could be dying. I held my breath as I carefully moved up the stairs, closer to the humming of this laser. How the Fiend got a laser was obvious, however I wanted to believe it got lucky and happened upon it in a drugged up stupor. The humming of the laser grew louder and louder. I pulled the hammer on my revolver back and pushed up against the wall, the door at the top of the stairs closed tightly.

I cursed to myself and went digging in my saddlebags, looking to see if I had any powder charges and to my luck, nothing was there. I sighed in annoyance once again and holstered my revolver, the entire adrenaline rush ruined. The lasers stopped and I, as normal assumed the worst and that Kevlar had been downed. I heard a click and put my bobby pins and screwdriver up and redrew my revolver. I kicked the door with my front hoof, it splintering a bit as it hit the end of its normal opening. I pointed at the window -the only source of light in the room… damn really need to get a flashlight- and expected to find a pony however there was just silence, dust and a lone revolver looking thing on a table. I slowly trotted towards the window, keeping an eye on the revolver, unsure if it had been rigged however I was pretty sure it wasn’t…

“Kevvy?” I called out the window, waving a hoof out blindly. “You there? Getting worried in here…”

“No, but I’m here!” I felt a large bolt of pain in my leg and turn to see the Fiend with this revolver thing pointing it at me. He seemed to be loading an energy cell into the slot. I quickly shifted my revolver in his direction and aimed closely, the burning pain in my leg hurting each second I stood despite the relative weakness of the laser. The revolver fires, the sound filling the room as the Fiend hit the floor, bleeding from his neck. The revolver fell beside him, the energy cell crackling and popping as they discharged. I pushed the table down and took cover as the laser cracked and popped, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

After what seemed like hours I popped out of cover and saw the revolver slightly charred from the batteries exploding inside the machine. I hesitantly trotted out and picked it up in my hoof -what a surprise- and immediately dropped it, my hoof screaming in pain. “Ow! Goddamnit!” I nearly kicked it away before realizing this could help in some form and quickly tossed it in my saddle bags, being sure not to harm anything in my bags.

“Dusty?” I heard a familiar voice call out, followed by hooves going up the stairs. “Dusty! I’m glad I found you… got worried…” His head fell down. “Shouldn’t have worried though-”

“Don’t beat yourself up for it kid. I’m sure I’d have been worried too… Get Benny ready to move, we’re trekking ahead!” I made a mental note to get this thing appraised.

The sound of hoof steps and Benny's bags were prominent, the journey having been mainly uneventful, the few Fiends that wanted to attack us had only gotten us a few minor burns, nothing that can't be fixed. Strange though, considering we are in the place where they are plentiful. Maybe they all OD'd on drugs finally.

I heard Kevlar talking softly to Benny, he seeming to know him better than I did. It always was something odd about him;Knowing more about a calf I raised that is. I quickly checked my revolver's cylinder, making sure it was loaded fully and it wasn't likely to jam as having to fix that in combat would suck.

After what felt like hours of trotting we came to a stop, setting up camp was going to take a while so making sure we had something to keep the paradors away would be desirable because I really don't want to end up getting my carcass full of eggs. I began to gather kindling for a fire while Kevlar began to unpack the tent and mats.

I ventured quite a ways off as there was very little underbrush despite how plentiful it seemed back east. I heard some talking in the distance and it sure as hell wasn't Kevlar. I took cover near a rock and began to slowly sneak towards the talking and to my surprise it sounded like these Fiends were strategizing, however I didn't have much time as a bullet impacted right next to me, signaling it was time to get the hell out. As I galloped I heard an alarm be raised and soon I had reached the campsite, Kevlar looked at me with confusion as I hit the deck.

"Get down!" I shouted as more bullets went off, Kevlar doing so however... Benny was shot. He let out a very loud and painful 'Moo' before falling over, still mooing in pain as he bled from the very large hole in his side. "No! Goddamnit!" I stood up from the ground, pulled my revolver out of my duster and fired at the Fiend, his sniper still smoking from the bullet it fired at Benny. He'd been hiding in a building we had passed earlier.

"Haha! Little cowmare's mad!" He fired off another shot, it hitting Benny in one of his heads... His mooing stopped...

"Get down here you coward!" I fired my revolver again, it hitting the window frame around him. He simply fired off another shot, hitting the ground next to me.

"Come on boys! We got a feisty one here!" He inserted another magazine into his sniper before he presumably began training his sights on me. I dove behind a rock and awaited the inevitable missed shot while I reloaded my revolver, replacing the two bullets I had fired.

I heard something new however. It was less druggie stumbling towards us with a pool cue and more 'armored pony slowly trotting over' sounding. I cursed under my breath, not really paying attention to where I was levitating my spare bullets, the bullets futilely hitting the grip of the revolver. "Fuck fuck fuck..."

I turned my attention to where I had left Kevlar, he lay there with his own gun drawn, a lever action rifle, and was firing at the sniper, doing quite well at suppressing it.

"Come out little mare!" A huge burst of fire filled my vision as I finally got my bullets loaded, I had to crawl back a bit to avoid being burned to a crisp. "Found you!"

I fired my revolver frantically as I tried to get up, each bullet pinging off his armor, the .38 rounds not even denting it. He laughed maniacly as his flamethrower 'warmed' up for another burst, Kevlar had begun firing at him as well, however he was having more luck, drawing some blood from his legs.

*click*

Fuck.

I shoved my revolver into my duster, though I was sadly unable to escape as swiftly as I thought I could. I tripped on a rock, seeing this monster face to face. He was wearing a mask, leaving me unable to even see him as I died. His flamer fired up, it hurting like five thousand bullets impacting me at once, however it stopped just as quick. Kevlar galloped over, bucking the stallion and -surprisingly compared to previous encounters- shoved his rifle to the back of his neck and fired, blood spattering along the ground. He quickly got the fire on me put out and tried to get me up, however... This sniper Fiend pegged him in the side, his cry of pain sickening to hear. As he fell to the ground three ponies trotted out from the building, they weren't dressed like Fiends though... They were dressed fancier than I would expect.

Even as the burns hurt, I weakly levitated my revolver out, and began to reload it shakily. They began to go through the bags on Benny. The Fiends did not attack them, maybe they had a deal I don't know... All I know is that I'm going to fucking kill them for this. I loaded the cylinder with the fresh bullets and -even though I was telling myself not to- began to crawl towards them, my vision blurred from the flames and pain.

They seemed to take interest in that chip I found, I of course left it in Benny's bags despite common sense.

"This it?" One of the thugs asked.

"Yes... Good."

I weakly raised my revolver, hoping I was pointing it right, however they seemed to take notice. The lead pony, one in a checkered suit, trotted over to me. "Hmm... Still alive. Sad, we'll have a witness. No matter, we have what we came for boys. Take the nice mare to the Followers;No one important would believe a little old merchant" he said before bring a hoof down on my head, knocking me out cold.

Level up.

Determined.

When your health is less than 30% your speed and actions are sped up by 10%, this bonus increasing by 2% for each point in endurance.

I don't know how long it has been, maybe weeks. I woke up only today... The Followers luckily took me in and treated my burns, however they weren't able to fix scarring... I'd have a bunch of scars and pretty much look like I became a ghoul... This news it... Bothered me... However I learned something from this... Some pony orchestrated this. Benny is dead... Kevlar is missing... All because of this pony. Mark my words.

I will find him.

I don't care how long it takes, I don't care if I have to kill every single pony I come across. This stallion will pay for what he has done. Hell, selling my soul to the Zebras would be fine in my book at this point. He ruined my life and I'll ruin his.

"Alright Dusty, you seem to be alright, you've recovered quickly, if we're lucky your fur will grow back soon enough. Nasty burns though, flamers are nasty things to deal with" the mare who was watching over me read off, in a caring but dull voice. I'd grown use to not having fur around my face, however she claims the burns damaged my vocal chords, and now instead of being a pleasing sound to my ears, my voice comes out hoarse and painful to my throat. Luna knows I won't get used to that.

"T-Thanks... I'm sure you tried your best..." I said weakly, looking into the locker next to the bed I've been in for who knows how long: My revolver and bullets were there, a scarf of all things -doctor says to wear it in a sandstorm to prevent unneeded damage to my skin and all- my duster, along with my bags and hopefully all my things.

“Yes… Yes we did… You need anything? I know you want to get out as quick as possible. I have a few things before you go left in your bags with some notes. Just sort through it on your own time.” She turned around, I simply nodded, my energy still spent despite only having recently woke up. She trotted out, leaving me, my locker and the bed. I took in a breath and lazily dug around in the locker for my duster. This had been a fucking fantastic turn of events! I get horribly burned, blunt trauma -nothing serious... I’ve been told to expect dizzy spells- and to top it all off my two best friends are gone...

I need a drink...

Quest Perk obtained

Ghoul likeness: You have a surprising likeness to a ghoul, gain a +10 speech and barter bonus when speaking with a Ghoul pony however speech and barter are reduced by -5 when in conversation with ghoul hating ponies.

The Bronco, the other New Pegas… Well, less New Pegas and more bar with a few slot machines and blackjack tables however I like to think of it this way. I had trotted in and surprisingly enough, I wasn’t asked about the uh… face. It was a rather quiet bar however I wouldn’t have cared either way. The barkeep was in a rather fancy get up despite being in the metaphorical slums. A pre-war dress shirt with a -I presume- clip on necktie. I sat down on a stool and cradled my head in my hooves, the barkeep instinctively trotted to where I was sitting. “Whaddya need Miss? Money up front for any alcoholic drinks.”

“Just… strongest you got…” I levitated out my pouch of caps, not caring for an exact amount I was paying and just put what is colloquially known as, ‘Way too much.’

He nodded, took the caps and went to prepare the oh so helpful cup of whatever the hell was their strongest. Right now I really didn’t care, I just needed something to drown my sorrows in;Hell, if anything I was probably going to get blackout drunk from this, and I don't even care.

"Here ya go, don't forget to tip."

I rolled my eyes and lifted the cup to my lips, the liquid fizzing slightly at any slight movement I made. I downed almost half of it in one go, it was rather pleasant despite its problem with taste... "Oooh yes..."

Three cups later...

I don't even know why I was panicking earlier! I'm making too much of a deal of this... No... Maybe I jus' need ta... I paused my thoughts for a second as I downed my cup, putting it down with a very unintentionally loud thud. "Barkeep!" I said in a sing song tone -sounds like I smoked twenty cigs in a row.

"Huh- Oh;Finished again?" I nodded, I could see why it was so strong now. Already tipsy without enough tips to make me c! Hehe... Yes... C... Goddamnit.

"Just pay up and the tap will flow et cetera et cetera" He said as if he was wanting me to drink more.... Maybe he gets a rise from mares being drunk!

"Sure, wha's da harm..." He chuckled before going to refill the cup with the waters of life... I forgot why I was even sad! This recipe is fantastic. I could drink it all day! Well maybe not all day… I can’t drink while sleeping… I shook my head and levitated out more caps to the counter, the barkeep grinning once again at the generous amount of caps. “This… this is the best” I hiccuped rather loudly, “I’ve e-ever had…” I mumbled as I drank more of the beverage, my mind becoming a large mess of drunken madness. “Y-You know… I think you’re a nice stallion~” I said in that same sing song voice from earlier.

“Oh? Well what you think is correct” He mumbled as he tended to another customer’s need;The customer chuckled at something… did I make a joke and I didn’t notice?

“Y-You’re a nice stallion and… I…” I hiccuped once again. “I want to tell you that… I…” I looked in my pouch to find it empty. “Shit…” I mumbled. “Well sir, I’ll be l-leaving now!” I pushed myself away from the bar, completely forgetting the bar stool doesn’t normally move and fell over, the stool pinning me to the ground;I yelped as I tried to push it off, the weight oddly enough was too heavy to push off me.

“For the love of-” the customer began before sighing and trotting over to where I had fallen and lifted the bar stool off and held a hoof out, “Come on,” he turned to the barkeep “,Put the room on my tab, I think she needs some b-”

“I don’t need your m-money… I’m my own mare! What do you think I am…” I mumbled as he pulled me up

“Would you rather be stabbed out there in Freemane? Just come on and get some sleep…” He began to crudely pull me along upstairs to one of the various rooms, I was just drunkenly giggling at something I found funny while he exerted himself more than he probably should have. “This’d be easier if you could use your hooves…” He breathed out, stopping for a moment to gain his breath.

“Right I guess I could go an’ use my hooves” I pulled myself up, grabbing onto the railing next to the stairs and attempted to balance myself to move. Luckily I was sober enough to move slowly up the stairs, however this stallion stayed with me for a big longer, if only to make sure I make it to the room. After a few moments of drunken stumbling highlighted by a stallion making sure I didn't hurt myself as I moved into the only unused room on this floor, the stale air in the room passing by my inhibited nose.

"Alright... Miss, just uh... Sleep the booze off and such... If you excuse me I'm off to get some myself..." The earth pony trotted off, shutting the door behind me.

"Goo'bye to you to!" I called out before realizing I missed my chance. I sighed before carefully trotting to the bed, hastily -and clumsily. What a surprise- discarded my duster and saddlebags before collapsing onto the bed, sleep befalling me soon after.

So I didn't get blackout drunk, but I did learn something from this. I need to wear some underwear. How else will I make unfortunate accidents and the subsequent doctor visit more awkward? Sexual objects! Soon I'll seduce all the doctors and have my own army of doctors to do my bidding! Aaalso I seem to still be buzzed despite... Fuck I didn't check the time... Aaah fuck it I can check next time! Though I might’ve just fallen asleep for a nap… I wasn’t really tired exactly when I got brought up here...

Anyways I'm out of money... I have fifty in NCR but that's fucking worthless! It'd be better on a roll than in a pouch… I can get more money… Yeah more money shouldn’t be that hard… I mean, what could happen? I get arrested for not paying my tab? I paid it off already! I mean why would I be sleeping... Oh right... The nice stallion paid it for me. He looked pretty handsome… Maybe I should try talking to him if he’s still here… Naaaaah who needs them! Kevlar is good enough for me-...

Kevlar…

Goddamnit.

I shook my head and nearly bolted out of bed, Duster clumsily put on and saddlebags in a magical grasp. Sure my head was pounding and I still felt as if I was going to end up stumbling around like yesterday, however I was able to keep up my steady gallop up until I ended up at the entrance gate to Freemane, its random assortment of sheet metal and ponies standing outside as ‘bodyguards’ a sight I’d rather not deal with now. “G-Get this door open!” I said, trying to sound not drunk despite how my body wanted to show it.

“Sure missy, whatever you want” One of the Gangers said as he approached the gate and simply pushed it open. “Just a note for next time, just push through. Hate having to go through this routine.”

Didn’t think that through, right. I galloped past him, nearly knocking him down as I went past. I put on my saddlebags once I had gotten almost ten minutes from the gate. I stopped to get my breath as I ineffectually slammed my saddlebags against my side, my magic eye coordination severely decreased meaning I was still too inebriated -big words, ooooooh- to effectively work which also meant I’d need to try to stay out of… damnit. Why did I run out. Well too late to change that now. Just have to get somewhere other than here, find somewhere to get my caps back and find Kevlar.

“Fantashtic!” I called out enthusiastically -not even noticing my slurred word- as my saddlebags finally got back to their place on my well… flank. I looked around the general area and saw absolutely nothing I could remotely identify other than the city behind me and I sure as hell wasn’t going to look stupid in front of everypony there by coming back and asking for directions to Novac -Kevlar always used that shithole as a last stop before we head home for the next month to work on the homestead. I turned my head to my saddlebags and searched for that scarf, trying not to spill everything in my bag out as I finally found it and tried to pull it out, my magic not wanting to be as strong now rather than earlier, meaning I'd have to use my mouth. Fucking fantastic.

After a few minutes of clumsily tugging at the cloth that I had, unfortunately, laid at an awkward angle, leading to at least one of my speed reloaders falling out of the bags, meaning I’d have to check those for damage later and make sure the bullets were still in there and all of this while still drunk. I suppressed the urge to swear at the damn cloth as it finally came out, sending yet another speed reloader falling to the ground, causing me to wonder if I actually have an efficient storage system or if I’m just generally terrible at storing stuff without Kevlar.

“Time to tie this damn thing on my face…” I muttered as I grasped it in my wavering magic, slowly and carefully tying the rather thick cloth onto my face, making sure to not make it tight, lest I cause myself to suffocate and become ‘That Colt’ and by god I’m not becoming That Colt or else my name isn’t…. Dusty Trails! And of course I fulfilled that name by both getting dusty and trotting on trails… Honestly you can’t really do much with a boring name like that. Hell, I’m sure Kevlar at least gets some intimidation factor with his name seeing as well… Yeah. Anyway, after a couple minutes and enough swearing at my magic and various other things to make a sailor blush, I finally got the scarf on, leaving only my rather beautiful eyes visible to the world. Off we trot!

New Quest Added.

Family Matters.