Spike's Suicide

by Dashie bro

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Spike, Slice of Life
Length: 4423

How much disrespect, neglect and guilt can a baby dragon handle? Not much. How well can he handle it? Not very well if ending his own life is an option. Spike can't handle all the negative energy heaped on him this far. Will he end it all?

Spike was left alone in Manehatten, blamed himself for the breezies and Twilight, his practical big sister, completely ignored him when he was scared to death in the Everfree Castle. Realizing that no one may care about him anymore, Spike thinks that he is no longer needed and tries to kill himself.

Published 2014-03-31 00:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-17 13:56:17 UTC

Should I?

After apologizing for the whole breezies problem, Spike walked home to the library. His thoughts were clouded with guilt and the past neglect he faced. Were the girls forgetting him on purpose? No, of course not! They were just really busy now. Twilight becoming a princess took up more time, and her friends were trying to help her out more. That's why they forgot him. Spike sighed. The best thing Spike had in his life were his friends, and they were slipping away from him.

As Spike reached for the doorknob to the library, he heard a voice. A soft spoken, gentle, pleasant voice. He knew that voice all to well. It was Twilight's. Spike turned around to find nothing behind him. His head went light and he stumbled backwards. Catching himself, Spike stabled his stance and turned back to the door.

You're going crazy Spike. You need to sleep. He thought to himself. Spike opened the library door and walked up to his room. As he finally made it to his bed, Spike fell fast asleep.

"Hey Rarity, you need a model for any dresses or an assistant or something?" Spike asked. The snow white unicorn looked at the purple baby drake. She then turned away in disgust and snorted.

"Go away Spike. I would love your help darling, but I'm ever so busy. I haven't the time for you to bother me." She said. That statement was more damaging than it looked. Spike's eyes welled up with tears as he left the boutique. I guess Rarity doesn't want my help. Maybe Applejack need an assistant. Dusting of his broken heart, Spike ran to Sweet Apple Acres.

After reaching the orchard, Spike searched for Applejack, but couldn't find her anywhere. A buck was heard in the distance. Spike heard the sound and followed it. As a result, he found the pony he was looking for. Applejack was bucking apples as she usually would on a workday. Spike approached her and asked the question.

"Hey Applejack. I was wondering, do you need any help today?" He asked.

Remembering everything that happened last time Spike tried to help, she furiously shook her head. "No thank you Spike. I don't need your help at all. Not after what happened last time. Leave me alone!" She said. Spike took the words personal and slowly walked away from the orchard. Spike had hoped his day would start out good, but the string of not being needed continued.

After failing with Rarity and Applejack, Spike ran to find Rainbow Dash. If she needed help, it would be worth it. Spike found the rainbow mare laying on the clouds, napping. Spike called out to her.

"Hey Rainbow Dash! You got anything you need any help with?!" Spike called.

"Go away! I don't need you!" Rainbow Dash called back lazily. Spike was emotionally damaged further. He turned away and ran towards town, almost crying. He couldn't find anypony to help him feel better.

"Maybe Pinkie Pie needs help?" Spike questioned himself. He had his answer almost immediately as Pinkie Pie slammed into him. Fluttershy was dragged behind.

"Hi Spike! Can't talk I need to get something done, fast!" Pinkie Pie said very hyper.

"Need any help?" Spike asked quickly.

"Nope, Sorry. Even if I did, I don't think you could. Maybe Fluttershy needs help." Pinkie pie said a bit slower. After her statement, Pinkie Pie zoomed off. Spike turned to Fluttershy. Spike was about tho ask the question, when Fluttershy answered his question as bluntly as possible.

"No." She said.

Spike's heart was almost shattered into dust. He was beginning to feel he was completely useless. Then remembered his closest friend. He was her number one assistant. Twilight needed Spike's help, she had to have something for Spike to do. Spike sprinted to the library to help Twilight and maybe cheer himself up. After running five blocks, he found his home. The door was opened and Twilight was sitting in the doorway waiting for her assistant. Spike stopped right as Twilight lifted a hoof and pointed down the road. Spike was confused about what Twilight was doing. Two suitcases were at her sides.

"W-what's going on Twilight?" Spike asked.

"I'm sending you away! I don't need you here anymore. I don't want you anymore! Just leave." Twilight said.

Spike's heart was broken at the words. He thought that Twilight was like his sister, yet here she was telling him to leave her life.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Spike screamed as he awoken. The sensation of the dream left him in a cold sweat. He placed his claw on his forehead and remembered everything that he dreamed.

I haven't the time for you to bother me. Rarity's voice echoed. Leave me alone! Applejack's voice echoed. I don't some dragon's help. Dash's voice echoed. Party planning isn't for a baby dragon. Pinkie's voice echoed. Sorry. I don't need you ever. Fluttershy's voice echoed.I don't want you anymore! Just leave. Twilight's voice echoed the loudest of all.

Spike's memory of those phrases stuck out the most. Did his friends really feel that way about him? Was he really that useless to them? Was he even worth having around? Spike could not feel any lower in his life than now. He thought that nothing would be worth anything ever again. What else could he do? Suddenly, Spike thought of something that could end his low feelings. And it would be so worth it....in his eyes.

Spike stumbled downstairs to the kitchen, rummaged in the draws and pulled out a pocket knife. The sharp, cold, stainless steel blade was placed vertically at Spike's wrist. He was having second thoughts if he should do it? As he pondered, the words echoed in his again. Those words were the trigger to his action. The blade slit across his wrist and blood lowed out. In that instant, Spike fell to the ground, his wrist bleed profusely. The baby drake passed out from blood loss, only hearing the words that caused him to seal his fate.

Will he be okay?

Twilight and the rest of the Elements of Harmony returned to the library after helping the breezies return home. Today's adventure was wonder and a shock at the same time.

"I still can't believe that Seabreeze was a father. What a shock!" Rainbow Dash said.

"I know. I knew he sounded like he was in a hurry, but I never expected that." Said Applejack.

"I kinda knew. Only a parent would get that worked up about getting home." Fluttershy said.

"Well, that was a fun time. I even learned a new spell. Anypony want a drink or something?" Twilight asked. The others nodded and Twilight strolled into the kitchen. A scream escaped from the kitchen and sent a chill down the everypony's spines. Everypony rushed into the kitchen to see what was wrong.

"Twilight?! What's wrong dear?" Rarity asked. Twilight didn't speak. She just pointed a hoof to Spike's unconscious body. His wrist was slightly cut open. The blood had stopped running and surrounded his arm and head. Everypony screamed in horror and Twilight fell to her knees crying.

"Oh Spike. Why would you do it? What did I do wrong?" Twilight asked. The tears in her eyes nearly drowned out the vision of the baby dragon. Pinkie Pie's mane blow flat. Rarity covered her mouth in despair and shock.

"We can't just stand around here! We need to take him to the hospital, and fast!" Rainbow Dash said seriously. Applejack and Rarity nodded and rushed to the door. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie helped Twilight up to her hooves. Twilight was still crying furiously. Spike lying nearly dead on her back.

"He'll be okay Twilight. We'll get him to help." Fluttershy assured her friend.

"Yeah Twi. Spike will be up and running again or my name isn't Pinkamina Diane Pie." Pinkie Pie chimed in. Twilight looked at her supportive friends and dried her eyes. She was the luckiest mare in Equestria. Using her magic, she levitated Spike onto her back and everypony ran to the hospital.

"Don't worry Spike. You'll be better soon." Twilight thought to herself. As it was obvious, Spike tried to kill himself. Little to Twilight and the others knowledge is they were partially the reason he did it.

Inside the hospital room Spike was hooked up to a heart monitor and a blood transfusion. Thanks to a kindhearted stallion, Spike was able to get blood to remain stable. The constant beeps were the only sound that filled the room. The mares were standing over Spike body, hoping that he would wake up. The doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in his hooves. Twilight almost pounced at the doctor to know how Spike was.

"How is he Doctor?! Will Spike be okay?! Will he ever wake up?!" Twilight asked. Rarity pulled Twilight back.

"I understand how you feel Miss Sparkle. I have some good news for you all. Spike will make a full recovery and awake from his coma in an hour." Doctor Heart said.

Twilight cried tears of joy. She was so happy Spike would live. Twilight hugged the doctor and her friends. For ten minutes, Twilight remained hugging her friends.

After fifty minutes of pacing, switching between sitting on her hounces and standing, and staring at Spike later Twilight finally broke down.

"I can't take it anymore! I need to use a spell." She said. Her horn illuminated, but Fluttershy grabbed her.

"No Twilight! The doctor said he would up in an hour. Any second now, Spike will wake up. You just need to wait." Fluttershy assured.

"But I want to talk to him now! I need to know why. Why did he do it?" Twilight argued.

"Flutters is right Twilight. Besides it's okay. Spike is wake already. Look!" Pinkie Pie said, She pointed to the now awoken baby dragon. Spike weakly smiled and waved.

Why Did You Do It?!

After Spike had awoken, the room changed from a mode of sadness and despair to joy and relief. Twilight pushed Rainbow Dash and Applejack aside and hugged Spike.

"Oh Spike! Thank Celestia you're okay!" Twilight cried. Her eyes were filled with tears. Spike's vision was blurring, he couldn't tell if they were real or fake tears.

"Twilight? Rarity? Applejack? Pinkie Pie? Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy? What's going on? Where am I?" Spike asked. Everypony looked at their dragon friend and lightly smiled. Twilight returned to her hugging position, prodding Spike to hug back.

"You're in the hospital champ. You were out cold and we brought you here to keep you alive." Rainbow Dash said. Spike looked at the blood transfusion hooked to his wrist. He didn't know who gave him the blood and he didn't care to learn. He only wanted to know one thing.

"Why did everypony bring me here?" Spike asked.

"Because we care about ya' lil' buddy." Applejack replied. Spike was too weak from just waking up to make an "Are you serious" face. He just shook his head in disbelief. The experience he endured over the past few weeks has proven to him that he was no longer cared for.

"Oh you really care about me? Then why am I forgotten so much?!" Spike stated. "Everytime you guys went somewhere, you either forgot to take me with you or took me then completely forgot about me! It's so not fair. It's like you don't care about me at all!" His words pierced the air like a lance through a soldiers body. The soldiers blood spraying everywhere, just as the effect of Spike's words. Thick layers of remembrance towards forgetting Spike began to surface. Everypony looked at each other with faces expressing guilt and regret.

"Spike, darling. Of course care about you. We never meant to hurt you. We've just been ever so busy lately. I do hope you can forgive us." Rarity said. She placed a hoof on Spike's cheek. Spike smacked her hoof away in disgust. He didn't want any pity. He wanted the truth! Rarity was taken aback by Spike's actions. With how willing he was to always help her, she never expected him to ever smack her away.

"Tell me the truth! Was it all just you being busy? Or do you all not want me anymore?!" Spike exclaimed. Spike's words created the biggest feeling of shock and disbelief in existence. The tension in the air was almost as if every atom in the room was secreting negative emotion. Twilight stood up from her hugging position.

"Spike. Of course we care about you. We just need more time to ourselves now. We never mean to forget you, it just happens. Nopony wants to be without you, especially not me." Twilight spoke. Spike still didn't believe her. His sadness from before turned to rage against them all.

"Likely story! I know how you all really feel! You all want nothing to do with me. You regret even knowing I'm your friend. I've seen it before!" Spike yelled. His words rose questions from everypony.

"What do you mean 'seen it before?'" Pinkie Pie asked. Spike looked around at all of them, took a deep breath and confessed.

"I had a dream. Everyone of you told me to leave. Everyone of you! Rarity told me she didn't have time and told me to leave Carousel Boutique! Applejack didn't want any of my help with the Apple orchard, even though that orchard is enormous! Rainbow Dash didn't even look at me! Pinkie Pie was gentle, but it still hurt. Fluttershy was too blunt. Twilight....you were the worst of them all. You told me to leave and not come back ever. It was terrible. I know it was only a dream, but it felt so real."

Everypony looked in shock at the baby dragon. Spike's words left a feeling of confusion and guilt in the pit of everypony's stomach. Spike's words carried an unsure feeling with them. Twilight put a hoof to Spike's chin.

"Spike, it was only a dream. You should know that we would never say any of those words to you. You are my number one assistant, and I not only that your kind of like my baby brother." Twilight said. Her voice chimed in a calming manner. Spike looked up with what little hope he had left.

"R-really? I'm like your brother?" He asked. Twilight nodded. Applejack stepped up.

"Your like mine too, lil buddy. I'd take your help anytime." She said.

"Me too! You may not be able to fly but you can still help me with so much!" Rainbow Dash cheered.

"Parties aren't the same without friends. If I lose a friend, I don't think my parties wouldn't be the same." Pinkie Pie said.

"Oh yes, we all need you Spike! You're so good with animals. We need go good friend like you." Fluttershy chimed.

"And of course I need my little Spikey-Wikey around to help. You're a very special friend to me. Maybe even a little more." Rarity said. She rubbed her hooves against Spike's head and chin.

Spike's heart skipped a beat after Rarity's words hit his ears. The heart monitor increased in beeps and read a higher heart rate. Everypony had a happy laugh at the sign of Spike's crush. Spike's mood was slowly lifting. He still had the thoughts of killing himself, but they were under thin wraps of kindness that his friends have given him.

Doctor Heart walked in with a clipboard in his hooves and a serious look on his face. When everypony saw how serious the doctor looked, the mood sank to uneasy fear.

"So, how am I doctor?" Spike asked. Doctor Heart looked up and took his glasses off, a sign that something was wrong.

"Well young Spike, we have a bit of good and bad news," Chills ran down Spike's spine. "You will make a full recovery, but you will have to take two of these pills a day. The pony blood that was donated to you will keep you stable, but it will not be as effective for you as reptilian blood. Two of these pills a day will morph the blood in your body into reptilian blood." Doctor Heart said. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills. He gave the bottle to Twilight.

"What's the bad news?" Rarity asked.

"One of the side effects of the pills is thought or actions of suicide. And seeing that is why he is in here, the pill will only further unstable his mental state." The Doctor stated. Spike sat up on the hospital bed.

"I'll take them. It's okay if suicide is a side effect. I have six friends that will watch and protect me." He said with pride. The six mares all looked at each other and nodded. Twilight kept the pills and followed the doctor to the front desk.

After checking Spike out, everypony returned home. Spike, riding on Twilight's back, kept a light smile on his face. Hiding away how he truly felt. As Spike and Twi returned to the library, Spike dropped down from his pony ride and gave his big sisterly figure a hug before going off to do his chores. Twilight smiled and trotted over to finish organizing the library shelves. She placed the bottle of pills down on the table next to the closest shelf.

Thanks Everypony!

It's been about two weeks after Spike's attempt at suicide. And thanks to the gossip of Rarity, over half the population of Ponyville knew about it. How the news spread through town started as so. Rarity and Fluttershy went to the spa as the usually did with their weekly pastime. While in the hot tub, Rarity overheard Aloe telling Lotus the latest gossip about Lyra and Bon Bon's little mischievous act with Berry Punch. Apparently, Lyra had "borrowed" a bottle of wine from Berry Punch's house. When Berry Punch came to their house to retrieve her missing bottle that night, she was taken in, blindfolded, gagged and bound by ropes. The rest was self-explanatory. Rarity found this news rather dark as well as interesting. Wanting to take part in the gossip, Rarity confessed the recent events in the life of a certain purple and green baby dragon.

"He did what?!" Aloe screamed.

"Yes it's true. He did try to kill himself. We found his body near death on the library floor." Rarity replied. Those words peaked the interest of Aloe, her sister and everypony under the sound of Rarity's voice. All eyes became fixated on Rarity and Fluttershy. Fluttershy covered her face in her mane attempting not only to remain out of the conversation, but to throw some of the attention off of her.The thought of Spike almost dying still made her shudder.

"Why did he do this?" Lotus asked. She poured in some bath salts as he asked.

"He said that it was because he felt that we no longer had any respect for him and that we didn't want him anymore." Rarity answered. Aloe and Lotus were stunned. The sweet baby dragon they have seen in their spa before tried to end his own life. They haven't seen him much before, but when they did see him he looked so happy. It never for a second seemed that he would do this.

"Is he still alive?" One of the mare getting a massage asked. Rarity looked over to the mare and smiled.

"Yes. He's recovering quite well in the hospital. He visit him every now and again, just to show him the he truly is loved." Rarity said. She placed a hoof against her heart as she spoke. Her eyes teared up slightly.

Everypony in the room stared at Rarity without saying a word. Rarity didn't move a single muscle even an inch. She was thinking back at all the good times she had with the little baby dragon that she grew to know and maybe even....love.

"Rarity. I think it's time for us to go." Fluttershy said attempting to leave the saddened room.

"Yes. It is time to go. We enjoy the conversation. Hope to continue another time." Rarity said. As Rarity and Fluttershy exited, they paid there fees and began a new conversation. One about why Rarity told the Spa ponies about Spike's suicide attempt. Rarity explained that it was all part of a plan to show Spike how wrong he was about no pony caring for him.

Inside the spa, Aloe and Lotus looked at each other. They knew Spike very well. And the thought of the same happy, loving baby dragon they know committing suicide. It was heart-wrenching. They had a plan to bring his spirits up.

Inside the hospital, Spike laying in his hospital bed humming to himself to pass the time. Things in the hospital are usually boring, if you're one of the patients. The doctors are constantly busy with patients and are always on the move. Spike hummed the tune to one of Pinkie Pie's songs to seemingly no one and he did it with a sort of half smile on his face. He began to sing some of the song to himself.

"Come on everypony~ Smile, Smile Smile! Fill my heart up with sunshine sunshine. I really need's a smile, smile, smile from these happy friends of mi~ne." He sang. A nurse poked her head in the door.

"Spike?" Nurse Redheart called.

"Yes?" Spike replied.

"You have visitors." She replied. Spike tilted his head in confusion. He hasn't had any visitors since the girls last visited. Aloe and Lotus Blossom, the spa twins walked in. Spike had a look of both confusion and joy.

"Hey Aloe and Lotus. I wasn't expecting you ladies. What brings you two here?" He asked. Lotus revealed a bouquet of flowers for the young dragon. A confused look appeared on his face.

"What are these for?" Spike asked.

"It's because we heard about your recent suicide attempt. And we heard that is was because you felt unloved." Aloe started.

"But we're hear to tell you that you are loved. Not just by miss Twilight and her friends, but by us and many others." Lotus finished. Spike smiled and sat up.

Thanks ladies. I'll keep that in mind for the future. Thanks for the flowers." He said. Both Aloe and Lotus both leaned down and kissed Spike's cheek. The baby dragon blushed a bright pink. The only other time a mare ever kissed him was a few weeks before his birthday, when he gave Rarity a fire ruby and she gave him a kiss.

"We love you and care for you young Spike." Both ponies said in unison. Aloe and Lotus then turned around and walked out the door. Spike sank back in his hospital bed, blush turning from light pink to deep red. He placed his hands on his cheeks. A smile slowly crept on his face. Maybe he wasn't as hated as he thought. The spa twins sure seemed to care, and the were no exception. Spike made a happy sigh and removed his hands from his cheeks. He looked down at the bandaged wound on his right wrist.

"I guess that...wasn't....really.....needed." He said.

Not one minute after that sentence, there was a knock on the door. Spike looked up and say Lyra and Bon Bon walked in. Spike knew these two mares very well. Bon Bon, who is also called Sweetie Drops, runs the candy shop and Lyra, whose special talent is playing a lyre using her unicorn magic. Spike waved his arm with the bandaged wrist. Lyra showed a sad look on her face.

"It's true. He really did try." She said. A tear formed in her eye. Spike saw the tear and motioned the two mares to come in. Bon Bon came in and placed a box of candy from the shop on his lap. The box was a big heart shape. The same type you'd expect some stallion to give his special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day. There was a card taped to the box. Spike carefully ripped the tape off and opened the card. He read it out loud.

"We heard rumors that you tried to die because you felt unloved. This is just one way of showing you that I care for you. Everypony that ever spent anytime with you is happier for it. We love you Spike. -Lyra ans Bon Bon." Spike looked up and was met with two bright smiles. Spike was on the verge of tears. Not the type of tears you cry when something tragic happens, but the happy tears when something amazing happens in your life.

"Thanks Ladies."

"You're welcome Spikey." They said in unison. They then left the room. Spike looked down at the box of candy in his lap. A tear fell from his face and landed on the box.

He was crying. Not because he was sad or happy, but because he felt so guilty and selfish. If everypony knows about his suicide attempt and came to him with so much love and support, he must have been loved by everypony. Then, Spike's head jerked up quickly. Wait. How did everypony even learn that him attempted suicide. The only ponies that knew were Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and.....Twilight. Spike knew that Twilight couldn't keep a secret. For a moment he wanted to be mad at her, bu then he thought that if she hadn't told anypony else he never would have learned how loved he is. He smiled.

"Twilight always knows exactly what to do." Spike said. He laid his head down on the hospital bed, closed his eye and began to drift to asleep. Little did he know that the true pony behind the knowledge of his suicide rumor floating around was about to walk into the door. Instead of waking him up, Rarity walked next to Spike, leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Sweet dreams my beloved prince." She said softly. She then left the room and trotted back home.

The End

Author's Note

Sorry for my last couple chapters lowering in quality. The amount of work I had to to do grew and somethings I did suffered to keep my sanity. But I promise the next series I start will be something that everypony will enjoy.

P.S. I'm sorry it's so low quality, I'm kinda falling into a ditch with my writing.