A Series of Ponified Events

I think evil villains make a habit out of ruining your best moments. Right as I finished my lunch, I saw a wandering Changeling. He was hiding in a tree, and I could see him giving us all evil looks. I kept catching glimpses of him during the conversation, never really knowing what it was, but I finally saw him. He was disguised as Big Mac.

“Ah, shit.” I said out loud. Everyone looked at me. “Changeling!” I pointed right at him. All eyes landed on him as he fell out of the tree on his head.

“Shit! I’ve been seen!” He shouted. “Get them!” I turned as I heard leaves being moved behind me, and saw a changeling disguised as me jumping out of a bush about to land a hoof in my face. Having written about something like this in my fic, I was at least half expecting this, so I was quick to react.

“NOPE!” I said, moving my head out of the way just in time. Then I head-butt him, forcing him to fall over and earning myself a shot of pain to my horn. Right. Gotta watch out for that thing. I got out of my chair, moving in to attack, but I was interrupted as another changeling disguised as Dash flew at me from the cover of a tree. I turned my back to him and got ready to buck him in the face when he came close.

“Batter up!” I shouted. “And it’s a home run!” I said when I hit him in the face. I was getting excited, and I wanted to up the difficulty by enraging them. “Alright, you guys suck. I’ve got some advice for you: Stop trying to hit me and hit me!” I taunted. The first changeling had recovered and hit me on the left side of my face. I turned right with the momentum, bringing my hind leg around in a horizontal axe kick. I doubt anypony suspected I’d be capable of such a move directly after getting hit. I made sure I sent him away from me with that kick so he wouldn’t be able to turn my own tactic against me.

“Nice shot,” I commented, “but mine was better.” I heard the other changeling get up, but then he fell back to the ground. I looked and saw Apple Bloom on him, playing jockey.

“Ah got ‘im! Ah got ‘im!” she was saying. I decided to help her out with the struggling changeling, and punched him in the face, effectively knocking him out.

“There we go!” I said. She looked down in shame, probably thinking I was about to chew her out for getting involved. I gave her a smile. “You did good, Bloom. We make a good team.” My praise brought a smile to her face, but it quickly left.

“Behind you!” she shouted. I didn’t forget about him. I heard him charging at me, head on, so I made a barrier of air, like I did with the platforms I ran on. I heard him hit it, and then slide down it like a fly hitting a window. I turned and saw the impact had knocked the poor fool out.

“Oh, him? Naw, he’s got a case of the pancake.” I said, earning a laugh from Bloom. “Let’s go help the others!” I said, turning back to her. We both went to help AJ next. She was struggling against three changelings.

“Hey Bloom. How about we throw you at one of the changelings? You can blind them like you did with the first one.” I suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do that!” Bloom said, readying herself. I picked her up in a telekinetic grip and launched her at the changeling about to hit AJ from behind.

“Gah! What the hay? Get this thing off me!” he shouted when Bloom landed on him. AJ automatically bucked him, after hearing his voice. She turned and saw Apple Bloom hopping off his unconscious body with a smirk. I sprinted at top speed, using a bit of my magic platforms to pick up the extra speed, and ramming into both of the other changelings, knocking them out. I turned to AJ.

“They should have looked both ways before crossing you. You alright AJ?” I asked while making a clever reference to my world.

“Yeah, but what was Apple Bloom thinking when she just jumped on that one? She coulda gotten hurt.” AJ said.

“She wasn’t. It was my plan, and it was a darn good one if it helped you knock that guy out. Now c’mon, we got more bugs to squish.” I said, dismissing the subject of Bloom helping. I almost expected her to argue, but I guess she was being honest with herself right about then, because she didn’t say anything like denying she needed help, or Apple Bloom didn’t belong in a fight, which how I just knew she felt.

“Okay, let’s get them off my farm. But if anything happens to her, I'll buck you into next week. Rest assured, Ah will NOT let this go.” AJ said. I smirked on the outside, but inside, she'd struck a bit of fear into me. I didn't want to find out how an earth pony's hooves felt on my face. I looked around and saw Fluttershy backed into a corner. Rainbow Dash was doing fine on her own, as expected. Big Mac was knocking out Changelings with every punch, but he was being swarmed, obviously seen as the biggest threat.

“Bloom, let’s help out Fluttershy. AJ, Mac looks like he’s got trouble.” I said. I ran off to ‘Shy with Bloom close behind. I picked her up and used the same “Jockey Strike” strategy I used earlier. I avoided the jokes so Fluttershy didn’t see me as crazy when we saved her. Once Bloom had one blinded, I took out the other one with a telekinetic fist. When I caught up, I gave the blinded changeling an elbow, followed by a swift double kick from my hind legs. Bloom let go and whacked him on her way off. I turned to Fluttershy with a gentle look.

“You alright there?” I panted, as my fatigue was building up. She simply nodded. “Alright then. I’ve gotta go help the others. Try to find a safe place to hide.” I said. She nodded again and started heading for the house.

Once I was satisfied Flutters was safe, I turned to find that Rainbow had come help Mac and AJ with their swarm. It was mostly taken care of now. I looked around for others who might need help. There weren’t any, really, so now it was just the one swarm left. Bloom and I leapt into the fray, blinding the fliers, kicking the grounded ones in the face and generally causing chaos in the enemy ranks. I cracked plenty of jokes while I was at it. Finally, it seemed like they’d given up on us. Many of them flew off with their fallen comrades, earning calls of cowardice from those who stayed. Those who stayed promptly got the Jockey Strike treatment or an Apple Family Bruising.

“Aw, so soon?” I said. “But I was on a roll! I almost topped Big Mac’s score.” That earned a raised brow from him. “What? I was keeping score.”

“Whew. That’s the third time this month.” AJ said after the last of them were gone.

“Seriously? They come back that often? How come it never shows on TV then?” I asked, turning my confused gaze to her.

“Eh. Probably because they’ve never returned on a day when we do a Friendship Report.” AJ said.

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. Well, it’s been fun.” I said, dismissing myself. “I’ll see you guys around. I’m going to go to the party. It’ll serve as a nice victory celebration. Shy’s in the house with Granny Smith if you need her.” I said, walking off. Yeah, I pretty much just took this whole thing in stride.

"Ahem." Apple Jack caught my attention. My ears folded back in reaction, as I remembered AJ still had business with me.

"Oh yeah." I probably wasn't going to make it to the party soon.