Spike Tries to Get New Jobs, But He Keeps Dying.

by ThatOneBronyWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Spike, Comedy
Length: 4309

At the end of each day with his new job, he dies in a different way each day, but he keeps waking up to the same day again.

Spike is fed up with Twilight's bullcrap, because she wont pay him a minimum wage for working. So Spike decides to go out and find a new job, but whenever he finds a job, at the end of the day he dies. And then he wakes up to the same day trying to find a new job.

There is a sex tag because of some sexual preferences, sexual situations, awkward sexual moments and little brief nudity. NO, THIS IS NOT A CLOP FIC, AND IT NEVER WILL BE. It is on the very verge of being rated mature, but it is rated teen because this isn't a clopfic and it will not be over excessively gory.

Published 2014-03-28 16:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-28 16:10:04 UTC

Twilight, I Quit

Spike was awoken by the sun shining through the window sill, and the smell of eggs being made downstairs in the kitchen. He unfurled himself from his curled position in his bed, and got up to see what was cooking. He hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen to see Twilight making breakfast.

"Morning spike!" The lavender Alicorn greeted Spike with glee.

"Morning Twilight. Watchya makin'?"

"It's your favorite!" She sang, "Scrambled eggs, mixed with bacon, onions and a hint of salt and pepper!"

"Wow! Thanks Twi!" Spike said with excitement.

"Hey, Spike. Mind if you restock the books on the bookshelves for me alphabetically?"

"Erm... yeah, but... I have to ask you something first," Spike informed as he walked into the library, picking up scattered books on the shelves.

"What might that be?" Twilight inquired with a curious tone.

"Uh... like, when do I get... y'know, paid working for you?" Spike heard something crash in the kitchen, right after he asked the question. Moments later, Twilight peered out of the doorway, looking at Spike and asked, "I'm sorry. What was the question?"

Spike sternly replied, "When do I get paid?" Twilight gave Spike a blank look and then turning into slight disapproval. Twilight bared a smile and said, "One moment please."

Spike heard the sound of some broken glass being swept across the floor in the kitchen, knowing that Twilight HAD broken something. Whatever it was, it doesn't really matter. He heard the lid of the trash can open as Twilight disposed of the remains of her mess on the floor. The sound of the stove knob was clicked off and the pan filled with Spikes breakfast, was scooted aside. Twilight came out of the room, brushing herself off and then took composure.

"Okay, Spike. Please tell me what you said one more time?"

With a groan, Spike curtly stated his question once again, "Twilight. When do I get paid?"

Twilight was extremely confused at this request of Spikes. She raised him like a son! She fed him, gave him a home, clothes, a place to sleep, and now he's asking her for money? What was this teenage dragon mind thinking?? Was that greedy side of him coming out again? It doesn't really look like it. He's not exactly being forceful about it.

Twilight inhaled, and exhaled as she began to speak, "Listen, Spike. I raised you like my own child since the day you first hatched! I fed you, gave you shelter, clothes, and now you want money from me? Is this you just being a stubborn teen, or is you bad, greedy, dragon nature kicking in again?"

"If I were to choose one or the other, I'd say I'm just being a stubborn teenage dragon. And you're a princess for God's sake! You have a crap ton of bitz lying around somewhere, don't you?"

"What the hell, Spike!? Your really gonna go there!?" Twilight yelled.

"Yes. I just went there."

"Oh for Celestia's sake-" Twilight put her hand over her face, "-I can't believe you!"

"Let me put it this way: How do you expect me to buy my own stuff, if you don't pay me?" Spike inquired.

"I-" Twilight lifted a finger, but then realizing his accusation was in very good defense, "Actually your right. But I'm still not paying you."

"WHY NOT?"

"Because I think giving you a home to live in is a good enough pay."

"Okay. In that case, I QUIT."

With Twilight's gaping mouth, she replied," What!? y-you... YOU CANT DO THAT!"

"But I just did! Didn't I?" Spike said with a smirk. Twilight was so mad, her face was boiling red and you could swear steam was coming out of her ears.

"Now then," Spike said with a satisfied look on his face, "I'm off to find me a job!"

"B-but... you. You can't! I-I," Twilight was too flabbergasted to come to words to what had just happened. With that, Spike walked out of the door.

"See ya later Twi!" And then he slammed the door.

Author's Note

Sorry for the super short chapter. I guess you could consider this a prequel. Also I will be putting in some references in my chapters, so see if you can notice them. :)

I Somehow Became a DJ For Vinyl Scratch

Spike was roaming around Ponyville and it's shops for worker openings. Turns out nothing was coming up, and he was starting to regret bitching at Twilight about getting minimum wage and whatnot. He never realized how busy Ponyville was. All of these ponies rushing around to get to places, fillies playing, and the boisterous crowds. Spike happened to like it, but his moment of satisfaction was short lived as soon as it felt like he was hit by a freight train. He was knocked down on his back as he was pinned down by somepony that was saying something to him. As soon as everything became clear again, he could hear what the pony was saying:

"Spike! Please tell me you know how to dubstep!" A scratchy feminine voice asked.

"V-Vynil?" Spike asked out of a daze.

"Yeah! It's me! Vinyl Scratch! Now answer the question, yo!"

"Uh... What was the question again?" Spike was caught off guard when Vinyl grabbed him by the arms, and she pressed her forehead against his.

"Do you, know how to dubstep?"

"I... Uh... Can you be more specific?" Spike asked.

"Ugh! Do you think you could be my co-DJ?"

Spike paused for a second, still trying to take in what had happened and what is STILL happening. He then replied, "Two things. One: I think I could be a co-DJ for you. Two: Could you please get off of me? Because the position that were in looks like you almost sitting in my lap, but in reverse. And we're kind of attracting a crowd."

Vinyl snapped back into reality as she looked around to see that some ponies were gathering around them. She then looked back at Spike whose face was now a deep red.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" She let go of Spike, but he fell hard on the ground again. Vinyl quickly got up and said, "Oh jeez, I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine, but do you mind helping me up?" Vinyl did what Spike requested, and the two of them were now on their feet and hooves.

"Sooo.... Now what are we doing?" Spike asked with hesitation.

"C'mon!" Vinyl said with excitement as she grabbed him by the arm.

***

Vinyl and Spike arrived to a house, which Vinyl proceeded to knock on. They waited for a bit and then somepony opened the door. It was a grey mare with a black mane.

"Sup Tavi babe? I'm home, with my new co-DJ!"

"Ugh. Vinyl-" The grey mare began to rub her forehead, "-I told you not to call me 'babe'. And you know I'm not fond of nicknames either. Please for the love of Celestia, just call me Octavia for once, and don't call me Tavi!"

"Whatever Octi," Vinyl said making her way through the door.

"Dammit Vinyl! What did I just say about nicknames?" Octavia said angrily.

"Hey, I didn't call you Tavi."

"But, that sounds like Octopus for short..." Vinyl began to burst out in a fit of laughter and giggled, "Oh my God that's rich! I'm totally photo shopping that on my phone now!" Vinyl then pulled out her cell phone and began to work on her masterpiece.

"Oh don't you DARE you little twat!" Octavia ran over to the couch Vinyl had just laid down on and she tackled her.

"S-stop it! It's gonna be beautiful! Trust me- gah! Trust me on this babe!" Vinyl said as she tried to squirm from Octavia's grasp.

"Oi! I told you not to call me ba- Ohh!" Vinyl had now let the phone go with her right hand, still holding it with the left one and grabbed Octavia's right breast.

"Vinyl! N-not now! We have a guest, remember!?" Octavia pointed out. Vinyl looked over to the door to see Spike was still standing in the doorway, but with his back turned.

"Oh God dammit," Vinyl muttered to herself. Vinyl pushed Octavia off of her, knocking her to the floor.

"Oi! That hurt!" Octavia complained, rubbing her head. Vinyl ignored her and went to Spike.

"Uh, erm.... Sorry about that. Do you want to come in and have a drink?"

Spike turned around to with his face, still an extremely deep red, just like from earlier today. He responded and said, "Yeah. That'd be nice."

"Great! C'mon in and have a seat!" Vinyl said cheerfully. She rushed over to a fridge and began to scavenge through it. Spike walked over to Octavia, who was now up and sitting on the couch.

"So, uh... If you don't mind me asking, are the two of you dating?"

"No."

"No? Then what's with Vinyl calling you babe, and that 'scene' you just made?"

Octavia just looked at Spike as he took a seat opposite of her and she answered, "She just likes to think we're in a relationship."

"Okay, but what was with the 'not now' comment?"

Octavia looked away from Spike and there was a moment of silence. She took a deep breath and looked back at Spike, "Okay, yes. We are in a relationship. But the thing is, it's complicated and I don't really like to talk about it to be honest."

"Oh okay. I understand. But I have a complicated relationship with Rarity! You see-"

"She just doesn't notice you." Octavia said sternly, cutting off Spike.

"Well damn. You have to be straightforward like that don't you?"

"I try."

"So Spike!" Vinyl began, "We have some alcohol, like Vodka, rum, whiskey and what Octavia prefers: Wine," Sticking her tongue out, she pointed her finger at her open mouth, " Blech! Gag me!"

"There's nothing wrong with wine!" Octavia said in her defense, "It's for sophisticated people like me,"

"More like 'socials'," Vinyl mumbled and continued, "We also have a few energy drinks!"

"I think I'll just have water, thanks." Spike declined kindly.

"Alright, whatevs," She grabbed a bottle of whiskey and wine out of the fridge and then closed it. She walked over to the cupboards and grabbed three different glasses: a normal plain glass, a wine glass, and mug. Pouring each specific specific drink into the specific glassware, she brought them over to the table in the middle of the opposing couches in the room.

"I think I should tell you why I hired you in the first place," Vinyl said with a slightly saddened tone.

"Why is that?"

There was a filled silence in the room. Not responding to other ponies questions must be a common thing in this household because it was happening to him a lot. The silence fell as Vinyl took a drink from her glass and answered Spike's question with a question, "You know who Ponex is, right?"

"Hell yeah I do! He's the greatest Unicorn dubstep performer EVER!"

Vinyl stared at Spike in disapproval at his response.

"Oh! Uh, sorry. What I mean is, he may be a good at making dubstep for being a Unicorn, but you're the best pony in EXISTENCE to create dubstep!"

"Thanks, Spike. But I don't exactly think I'm the best..."

'Okay, bitch. Do you want me to complement you, or not?' Spike thought to himself, Actually, I think that might be a little to harsh...'

"Anyways," Vinyl continued, "I was in desperate need of finding a co-DJ for my performance, but all my stage members don't know how to. I asked Lyra, but she can only shred a guitar, and lemmie tell ya, she's really damn good. There's Neon Lights, but he's only good with his badass light show he puts on during the performance, as well as singing with me in some of my songs. Bon Bon can only play her fancy cords and whatnot on her electric piano. Pinkie Pie is sort of an intern, so she only knows a few things, but she's still a work in progress."

'Pinkie works for Vinyl?' Spike thought out of complete surprise.

"THEN there's Octavia-" Vinyl turned her head to Octavia, "-who doesn't even know what dropping the bass means!"

"Oi! It's not my fault I'm classy."

"Now let's not go there," Vinyl said with a strict tone, "So she just plays the cello on stage every now and then during my performances."

"Okay, I see," Spike understood, "But why did you choose me?"

"Now I know this mayyy sound a bit corny, but I can feel it. I can sense that you have the wubs within you! I can tell you'd be a great DJ! So, are you in my fellow dragon?"

"Okay... But I have to ask you a few things."

"What might they be?" Vinyl asked out of a curious tone.

"One: I thought you promised yourself at your last concert, that you would stay sober, until your concerts were over."

Vinyl took a good look at the bottle of whiskey that she had been drinking straight from, and then to the glass she had poured for herself, which she CLEARLY hadn't drank from. She looked at the bottle of whiskey again that she'd been drinking from and it was a third of the way gone.

"Oh yeah," She set the alcoholic beverage on the table and grabbed the mug glass she had originally poured for herself.

"Two: Will I get paid?"

Vinyl took a moment to consider this and then she answered, "Sure, I guess. I'm mean I have money that I can give to other ponies."

"Sweet! So where do we begin exactly?"

"Well... We need to get you an outfit. And I know the perfect mare for the job," Vinyl said putting a slightly seductive smile on her face.

All Spike could say was, "Oh God."

***

Sure enough, he was right. They were FOR SURE going to Rarity's boutique. Spike was extremely nervous at the fact that he was going to get a new outfit of some sort, and who in hell knows what it's gonna be, but he was getting it from the mare of his dreams. As the two walked onto the doorstep, Vinyl knocked four times. The sound of hoofsteps came rushing to the door and it opened.

"Vinyl, darling! And hello Spike! What are you doing with Vinyl out of all ponies?"

"We're here to get Spike an outfit for my concert tonight."

"Wait... Your concert is tonight!!?" Spike exclaimed.

"Well, duh! Haven't you seen the ads all over town?" Vinyl asked.

Spike tried to recall the previous days when he had been walking throughout Ponyville. All he could recall was that there was thousands of papers stuck on walls and glass panes titled: Vinyl Scratch! Featuring a brand new song and a special guest! Be at the town square on the seventh of June! Tickets are going on for 15 bitz a ticket! And Vinyl was right. There were THOUSANDS of banners posted all over town.

"Oh yeah... I remember know," Spike said rubbing the back of his head.

"Now then! Let's get you an outfit for the performance tonight! I'm thinking a leather like look with some torn skinny jeans!" Rarity began to grab some material with her hands and more with her magic, "Okay Spike, I need you to strip down so I can measure you properly."

"WAIT WHAT!?" Spike squeaked as his face flourished in a bright red hue.

"Oh, no no no no NO! Not like that! I just need you to take all of your clothes off, except for your undergarments."

"Oh... okay. I don't know how I feel about this." Spike said shyly.

"Do you need me to look away, Spike?" Vinyl asked in a playful tone.

"YES!" Spike shouted with his face getting redder by the second.

Vinyl obeyed his command and looked away, with a wide grin on her face. But with an disgruntled look on his face, Spike was angry and displeased with Vinyl in teasing about him having to strip in front of the most beautiful mare in Equestria.

"Now don't be cross with her. She's your boss after all!" Rarity stated.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Spike mumbled in a unhappy tone.

"Now will you please take off your clothes, or I'll have to take them off for you. I am in a rush here," Rarity said. Her horn began to glow as she was ready and prepared to take his clothes off if she had to. Even as much of a turn on that would be for Spike, he really didn't want to have to make this both awkward and hard for himself. With an unsatisfied sigh, he began to take his hoodie and shirt off, then his jeans were the next to go. Spike was now only in his plain grey boxers, and at this point, his face was a tomato red.

"Let's begin," Rarity chimed.

She walked over to the purple dragon and with measuring tape in hand, started to measure from ankles to his wast. She wrote the measurements down with her magic using a piece of paper and pen. Continuing from his waist, she went up to the base of his neck. Humming to herself she walked back over to the table and laid down the correct materials, and walked back to Spike.

"Now hold your arms out Spike-Wikey." Spike followed her orders and spread out his arms. He glanced over to the doorway to see Vinyl doing a terrible job of trying to contain the laughter she was trying to hold in. He grew red again from the sheer amount of awkwardness and embarrassment. He was greeted with a surprise as he felt Rarity's chest press against his scaly back. The only thing he could do was let out a girlish 'EEP'.

"Sorry dear. It's hard to get to your arms with my knockers in the way." Spike was having troubles trying NOT to get too 'excited' since Rarity's boobs were pressing against his back. She wrote down more measurements on her notepad and he felt her slide down his back a bit. Her arms with the measuring tape, wrapped around his waist making the struggle to stay turned off even more difficult. She wrote down another measurement on her notepad and moved away from Spikes body. He let out a sigh of relief as his face turned back to his normal purple color, and he no longer had to worry about 'turning up' in front of Ponyville's finest. Rarity moved in front of him and grabbed each hand and measured them, putting the last measurements on the slip of paper.

"There! All done! But don't put your clothes on yet. I still have to make your clothes and fit them on you," Rarity stated. Spike let out a groan of dissatisfaction.

'Can we PLEASE be done with this??' Spike thought to himself. He looked over to Rarity who was now furiously working on the outfit for him. A few minutes passed and Rarity showed the new clothes for Spike.

"Ta-da! Here it is! Now put it on!" Rarity presented. Spike gladly did what she said and pulled the whole ensemble on: Torn black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket with matching leather gloves, and a short white undershirt. Rarity pulled a mirror in front of him so he could see for himself.

"You can come back now, Vinyl!" Rarity said. Vinyl came over to see what Rarity had made, "Well Spike?" Rarity began, "What do you think?"

Spike took a moment and did an unintentionally girly twirl in the outfit. He looked from the bottom to the top in the mirror and said, "I like it, but... why can you see my belly in this? There isn't anything to cover it!"

"Now you see, mares like us think it's sexy when we can see a colts bare coat. Well, in this case a dragons scales," Rarity answered.

"W-WHAT!?" Spike exclaimed as his face turned red again.

"Trust us on this Spike. The audience will love your outfit!" Vinyl insisted.

"Well... okay. If you insist."

"Perfect! Now let's get ready for the concert!!"

***

It had taken almost four hours to set up the stage completely. With the lights, speakers, sound, curtains, mix boards and everything else. Spike had added a pair of sunglasses to his co-DJ ensemble. The sun had started to set on Ponyville, as all of the members of Vinyl's group gathered and the stage had been completed. Spike looked around the set to make sure everything was a-okay for tonight's performance, When a bubbly, cotton pink mare popped up from behind one of the massive stereos, startling Spike.

"Heya my fellow dragon friend!"

"Hey Pinkie Pie. I have to ask, how did you get a job for DJ-PON3?"

"Well," Pinkie began as she put a finger on her lower lip, "She wanted somepony to sort of walk in her footsteps and so she found me. I was OOBER excited for this whole DJ thing! How 'bout you Spike?"

"Actually, all I can tell you is it sorta just happened. That's basically all I can say."

"Cool! Well, it's nice working with somepony I know real well!"

"Likewise," Spike agreed. A blue colt came out from behind the curtains and said, "Places everypony! The concert is about to begin in ten minutes!"

"Aye-aye Neon Lights," Spike replied. Pinkie and Spike went behind the curtains and everypony else shortly followed.

The sun had finally set and the lights came on, showing the entire set up of DJ-PON3's concert. Ponies cheered and hollered for their favorite DJ as they shouted her name. There was a fog and one by one, Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, Neon and Vinyl emerged from the red fabric. The crowd shrieked in pure excitement. Vinyl grabbed a mic and stood at the center of it all.

"Hey hey hey Ponyville how's it shakin'?" Vinyl asked. Her response was a wild crowd of whoops and hollers. Vinyl continued, "Alrighty then! We're gonna get right to it and introduce you to our guest DJ. Ya'll ready for this?" Vinyl was again greeted with screams of excitement. Vinyl, pleased with the response said, "Okay then! Introducing a pony, who actually isn't a pony, but I tell ya, even though he isn't, he's one hell of a DJ! Introducing, the one, the only, SPIIIIIIKE!"

Spike came out of the curtain with his hands in the air, walking to Vinyl. The crowd went berserk seeing the special guest on stage at Vinyls concert.

"We also gonna kick it of with my brand new song! Everypony ready for this!?" Vinyl asked out of utter excitement. The crowd was waiting and ready for whatever Vinyl had in store and so they hollered for it. Vinyl continued, "Aww yeah! It's time. To. Kill Dem!"

Vinyl hopped over the synthesizer and Neon Lights joined her on the front of the stage. Spike sat back at the mix boards and ran the show, while Pinkie was the one doing the lighting and whatnot. Lyra and Bon Bon rocked out to the nice reggae dubstep mix, while Octavia just simply bobbed her head to the beat. This was amazing! Spike was working with and for Vinyl Scratch; DJ-PON3! The greatest dubstep composer in Equestria! It was almost like a dream come true. Spike noticed a bit of rustling in the crowd as he saw Twilight's head pop out of the crowd making herself room. She looked up at Spike in amazement as he was up on stage. Performing!

'I can't believe it. He got himself a job!' Twilight thought in amazement. Spike saluted at the crowd, specifically in the direction of Twilight. He then looked up behind the performance to see Pinkie running the light show. She was sitting patiently, bobbing her body to the beat of the bass, when she thought she saw one of the stage lights move in the corner of her eye. She looked over to see if it was just a figment of her imagination, and it surely was. Nothing had moved. Or so she thought.

The song was nearing it's end and EVERYPONY was loving it. Ponies were going wild with the head bangs and their screams. Pinkie looked down to see Spike was sitting back, relaxed in his chair enjoying every moment. But it was short lived. Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense activated as a stage light began to fall. She rushed over to grab the light, but the cord snapped and she couldn't stop it in time. The song ended. The lights went down. And the stage light fell. 'CRASH'. Everypony screamed not knowing what had just happened, because they were blinded by the darkness. The lights came back on and there was smoke. Vinyl and the others on stage began to cough furiously as they inhaled the grey clouds. When the smoke finally cleared, they all gasped in horror. Where Spike used to be was a big, broken, stage light. And it had crushed him.

"SPIKE!" Vinyl screamed. She began to rush over to the side of where he was, but stopped and stepped back. Her hoof had just stepped into something hot, wet and thick: It was blood. Seeping from under the set and off of the stage. The blood was so heated from the light, it bubbled lightly. The smell of both hot iron and burnt flesh from underneath Spikes scales filled the air.

Spike was dead.

Author's Note

References:

Doctor Who: When Vinyl knocked on the door four times, that is a reference to The Master.

Woo! First death of Spike! More deaths to come!!!