Occultus Modis Harmoniae or How the Academy of Arcanum is Wrong about Everything

by KelGrym

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 4025

Twilight Sparkle puts the Academy of Arcanum in its place

After the Head Master of the Academy of Arcanum writes an erroneous article on the Elements of Harmony, Twilight circulates a letter within the Academy that rips him a new one.

Via scholarly attack.

What happens next, she didn't expect.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-29 23:47:02 UTC

Main Text

Occultus Modis Harmoniae

or

How the Academy of Arcanum is Wrong about Everything

It has come to my attention that the Canterlot Academy of Arcanum are fixated on their dogmatic approach to nature magic, xenophobic of foreign magical teachings, and is run by an all around greedy and corrupt upper staff.

Those minor quibbles aside, what sparked my absolute fury was the article, the O So Highly Esteemed Head Master of the Academy, recently published about the Elements of Harmony! You are suppose to be the paragon of modern magecraft, yet you were presumptuous enough to publish an article about a force of magic that you know nothing about!

You could have just asked me, the Bearer of Magic. No, Instead you have misinformed the entire public on the true nature of the Elements, and that’s just on top of all the false esoteric teachings that the Academy has published!

Most stupidly of all, however, is the petition to princess Celestia to fund research on disrupting the chaotic energies of the Everfree forest, so that ponys can begin terraforming the land there. Apart from the fact that the Everfree is a wildlife preserve, home to thousands of rare and exotic creatures, I have to ask...

Are you trying to kill us all?!

I’ve had my problems with the Academy in the past, and I’ve been lenient thus far, but I’ve been keeping an eye on all of you. After my last inquiry into my missing manuscript, that I entrusted into your care, I decided to conduct my own personal investigation. I was not pleased by what I found.

This is an open letter explaining why you’re all morons.

Let’s start with that article. Even in the very first few lines, I feel as though I’ve been slapped in the face.

The Elements of Harmony are six magical gems, each embodying the greatest moral virtues of equinity.

I applaud you, Head Master, for so successfully filling a single sentence with so much error.

The first mistake I can understand. Most mages mistake the Regalia of Harmony with the Elements themselves. It’s a forgivable error. One that even the Head Master, of one of the most prestigious Academies of wizardry, can make.

But to imply they embody the greatest moral virtues of equinity? Never mind the fact that you’re excluding all non-equine sapient species, where did you get the idea that Magic and Laughter are moral virtues? They’re phenomena!

I started skimming through the article, which I must say was dry, boring, and too wordy, even for me. I found this:

The Element of Magic is the most vital of all, representing the virtue of intellectuality. The other Elements together, have no bindings to one another, without the Element of...

Grossly inaccurate.

Allow me to elaborate. First thing everypony needs to know is that Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, and Generosity are the only true virtues of the Elements. In fact they are all that are required to make a friendship work. The other two serve as functions to weaponize Harmony, but before we get to that I have to point out that these Elements don’t need Magic to “bind them together”, as they already are. They possess a complex dynamic that the Head Master wouldn’t recognize if it fell out of the sky and crushed him under the 7000 bit chandelier he bought to impress that wealthy griffon scholar, to acquire more funding for his astrological department and keep scamming the public with their horrendously erroneous horoscopes.

These natural bindings are easy to understand, and shall be referred to in this document as “Alignments.”

Honesty is like the steadfast metal rod that guides the wild lightning of Loyalty. Honesty without Loyalty only leads to the betrayal of trust, and Loyalty without Honesty becomes an abused bond. These Elements are close to identical, one having to do with truth and the other having to do with staying true. That’s because they’re the twin aspects of the same thing.

Honor, the first Harmonic Alignment.

The Academy could learn something from this Alignment, but it seems the only thing the Head Master is loyal to, is his money sack. I’ve been inside the astrological department and do you know what I found? Printing presses. That’s what the place really is, a print shop to sell horoscopes. The ‘experts’, if they could be called that, of this department, could barely name off their constellations without double checking their almanac. When I asked them how they adjusted their calculations to the subtle shifting in the world’s axis, that Celestia causes when she raises the sun, they rushed me out the door, under the pretense they were busy.

Kindness embodies the ability to approach others with an open heart, and forgive others when they’ve wronged you…

...Generosity is the spirit of charity…

Oh, congratulations! One of the few things in your article that you got right! But do you understand their relationship?

Kindess is empathy, and Generosity is empathy in action. It’s like a tree. Kindness is the root, and Generosity is the trunk and branches that produce the fruit. If Kindness doesn’t develop the courage to grow into a tree, it remains nothing more than impotent wishful thinking. If the root is damaged, then the fruit of Generosity is as good as an empty lie.

Together they form the Alignment of Compassion.

Where was your compassion when that earthquake hit the Neighponese last year? Was it in that charity ball that you hosted? I remember it well. Especially the whispered jokes and hidden insults made at the expense of the Neighponese. It was very successful, however, in boosting your image. Everypony was donating relief to the Neighponese, it was just the thing to do at the time. With all that money going to them, nopony would notice a few bits missing. Or few thousand.

I went through your financial records too.

Do you think I’m too harsh on you? Am I lacking in Kindness?

If you dealt rightly with the public, you would have my mercy. It’s a crime that so many donate to your Academy, out of the kindness of their heart, so that you can educate the next generation of unicorn mages. You use ponies to further your own private agendas.

Of the Four Core Elements, none of them can stand alone, pure in of themselves. They complement and balance each other in this fashion:

Honesty awakens Kindness.

Kindness tempers Honesty.

Loyalty protects Kindness.

Generosity rewards Loyalty.

Loyalty follows Generosity.

Generosity encourages Honesty.

Honesty insures true Generosity.

Kindness forgives Loyalty when it fails.

Which can be simplified as:

Compassion empowers Honor

Honor bows to Compassion

This is the natural way of things. Honor without Compassion is simply brutal duty, and Compassion without honor is weak, and ineffective. There are some that would argue that Compassion is the only thing needed for friendship, and there was a time I might have agreed, however a philosopher of the old pony tribes once said:

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”

I am not your friend. You have failed to be loyal to the principles that your establishment claims to uphold, and I will not forgive you until you amend your ways.  I’m being generous as it is, revealing the hidden nature of the Elements of Harmony, but that’s more to the benefit of the public than yours.

You book burners.

Laughter is perhaps the most positive of all their moral virtues, embodying joy and happiness…

Another inaccuracy. One that probably wouldn’t have been, if you weren’t so paranoid of Pleven J. Corrals work. Yes, I do have a copy of his texts, and I’d have more if you didn’t actively burn them, under the pretext that Chaos Magic is dangerous.

All magic is dangerous! The only thing more dangerous is fools like you who restrict and destroy knowledge that rocks the foundation of your entire school.

I want to tell a joke. I went to the library at the Academy of Arcanum to find a book on conspiracies. There were none there. Coincidence?

Funny, wasn’t it? Do you want to know what makes something funny? To paraphrase Corral, what makes a joke funny, is when it either shatters your expectations, or forges a new connection between two ideas, like in a pun. Laughter is the release of the conceptualization of new ideas, and deconceptualization of old ones.

What few in your school seem to realize is that the Elements derive their power from their connection with all beings in Equestria that are capable of friendship. They are the magical embodiment of an idea, expressed in the thaumic field. But all ideas are constantly under the flow of de/coneptualization. As a result, Laughter is a natural product of the Four Core, and behaves as the virtue Optimism, thus enriching the other elements.

In of itself, it is not a virtue. This is what you don’t want the public to know.

An excerpt from the manuscripts of Pleven Corral:

The ecstatic laughter of divine madness is the sweeping up of every perception into a vortex of surprise at its very existence. Everything is suddenly and amazingly not as it was. Yet simultaneously it seems more exactly as it was than before!? Conceptualization and deconceptualization occur simultaneously. Language descends inevitably to the paradoxical as one is swept up into the ecstacy.

This text illuminated to me the reason why Discord said, “Laughter is my favorite Element.” It’s the primary tool of chaos magic!

According to Corral, Laughter is neither good or evil, in truth it has no opposite, as it holds all possible emotions within it. Weeping is its underdeveloped form.

A comedian once told me that the formula to comedy is “Tragedy + Time = Comedy.” He told a joke involving a fire in Trottingham that happened 72 years ago, in which twelve ponies died. Everypony laughed.

Hopefully, one day the Academy will look back its sordid past and laugh.

But I’m not laughing, right now.

Where is my manuscript of the Camebbalah? You know, the only one I had and told you to take extreme caution not to damage or lose. That one. I submitted it to you a few months back for copying, and haven’t seen any of the copies. Your excuse has always been, “Our printing que is too backed up at the moment,” and, “It seems that your manuscript has been misplaced in the archives, but we’ll find it.”

Well do you know what I found out, after my investigation? It’s gone. I systematically combed through the entirety of all your libraries and archives, and I couldn’t find it.

I was aware of your extreme conservative views on magic, but I had thought you would see the value in such a rare text! If I had known about your burnings of Pleven’s work, I would never had submitted it to you. I can only hope your greed saved the script and you sold it to somepony in the black market.

If you had bothered to study the script at all, maybe you would have had a clue about how my element really works. Let me show you a sketch that should be familiar:

You see that circle (its a sephirot, just so you know) that says Da’at? That sphere has everything to do with the Element of Magic. Traditionally the camel sages teach that the Tree of Life only has ten, but in their more advanced circles, they reveal that there is a hidden eleventh that is associated with inner knowledge.

Do you know how I found the Element of Magic? It was hidden within myself. Without my friendship with the other Element Bearers, I would have never found it. You see, my Element is Da’at. Da’at resides in the middle column of the Tree of Life and is the place where all the other sephirot are unified. The Element of magic is the same way.

This your biggest misunderstanding of how Magic works:

Thaumic energy flows outward from the Element of Magic, charging the other Elements, until the power is released...

Wrong. The Element of Magic doesn’t ‘power up’ the elements. It does what it does, through lack of power. The Elements unify within me, creating the real power of Magic. The Laughter of the Elements acts as a catalyst, releasing the powers of Harmony through my Element. It’s the essence of emptiness.

Laughter and Magic form the Alignment of Wonder.

A cup, already full, cannot be filled.

Yours is filled with manure.

I am disgusted by what I have learned about the Academy of Arcanum. Your imagination is dead, you’ve ceased to wonder, and all you care about it pushing your dogmatic, outdated, stiff-necked, and utterly worthless magical philosophy.

Open your minds!

Think back to The Tree of Life. Did you notice something? It’s divided into three branches, or pillars. The left branch is associated with love, expansion, and mercy. The right branch is associated with strength, rigidity, and discipline. The middle combines both.

Compassion, Honor, and Wonder. This is the Magic of Friendship.

If you had the Magic of Friendship, you’d see past your prejudices, and embrace the differing schools of magical thought. If you had done that, then perhaps you would have understood how the Elements actually work, and I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you.

Lets point out another fallacy in your article:

...the Elements of Harmony, being separate from the Classical Elements…

Oh really?

I literally face hoofed when I read that.

You mean these Classical Elements, right?

Allow me to educate you, once again.

Two of the Core Four Elements are passive virtues. Honesty and Kindness. The other two, Loyalty and Generosity, are active.

Look familiar?

The Four Core, synchronize perfectly with the esoteric attributes of the Classical Elements.

Honor, Passive = Honesty/Earth = Dry, Cold

Honor, Active = Loyalty/Fire = Dry, Hot

Compassion, Passive = Kindness/Water = Wet, Cold

Compassion, Active = Generosity/Wind = Wet, Hot

Harmony is all about synchronization. The Neighponese model is no exception.

In their five elements, there is an order of ascension. Earth, being the base, Water, Fire, Wind, and then Sky. In the case of the Harmonic Elements, it’s Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, and Laughter. This order makes sense, if you look at the attributes of the Harmonic Elements.

Oh would you look at that! They alternate between Honor, and Compassion, beginning with the passive elements first, the actives next, then ending with Laughter. Wow, it’s almost like an…

Alternating current.

Do you see where the Elements really charge their power? Do you see how the Elements bridge the gap between East and West? Hoof in hoof, together? I hope I have sufficiently shown you how wrong you've been.

Now about that Everfree forest...

Wake up you fools!

Remember that the Elements came from the Tree of Harmony, and the Tree of Harmony is rooted in the Everfree. You think it's a fluke that something as chaotic as Laughter is a component in the Elements? Laughter may have no opposite, but that's what helps it bridge the gap between Order and Chaos, which are defined by each other. No Harmony, no disorder. No disorder, No Harmony.

What do you think will happen if you managed to undo the powers of the Everfree? I'll tell you what happens. The Tree of Harmony dies.

But that's not the worst thing that could happen.

The Regalia are in the Tree now, however there is no way of knowing if they would die with the Tree or not. If they do not die with the Tree, and the powers of the Everfree cease to emanate from the Tree and into the Elements, via the thaumic field, then there is nothing to stop the power of Harmony from overflowing from the Elements.

The world will be harmonized out of existence.

Is that sobering?

It should be.

If you think to save yourselves by destroying this letter, I'll have you know I recently mastered a stable duplication spell that has taken care of my little printing problems. By now, there should be thousands of these letters flooding the streets of Canterlot.

The Academy will survive.

You, Head Master, are doomed.

I have reported all my findings to princess Celestia.

She will arrive shortly.

P.S. Now would be a really good time to return my manuscript to me.

Celestia's Letter to Twilight

To my dearest student,

I sat down with the Head Master of the Acedemy, and had a nice long chat with him over a cup of tea. Your letter bombardment had him quite distraught. He was very humble and apologetic in regards to the article he published, however, upset by your other accusations, and actions against him.

I read your letter several times, and I am impressed how far you have come in probing the mysteries of the Elements. You have been studious, precise, and your analysis was intriguing. I’ve actually been aware of the synchronization of the Four Core, as you dubbed them, with the Classical Elements, but I’ve never made the connection with the Neighponese model. I’m proud of you.

Yet, I am also disappointed.

Twilight, make no mistake, I am not pleased with the Head Master’s behaviour, and I am incensed at the disappearance of funds from the Neighponese charity ball. What you don’t realize, though, is that you have only complicated the situation.

In your letter you stated that the Academy would survive. I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but the Academy might survive. I’m afraid your zeal has clouded your judgement once again, and you overlooked something very important.

The Canterlot Academy of Arcanum is completely privatized. That is to say, it receives no assistance from the government and depends solely on it’s reputation for it’s income. That reputation is now in shambles. Nopony is going to want to enroll in a school so embroiled in this scandal right now, buy their horoscopes, or donate to them. Believe me when I say this, the staff of the Academy, including the Head Master are going to do everything within their power to salvage their reputation.

The first blow has already been swung.

Personal feelings towards the Head Master’s character aside, in a proper court of law, there is no direct connection to the disappearance of the charity funds with the evidence you provided to the Head Master, as the money is handled by the Academy’s Treasurer. I am not certain if it’s the Treasurer or him and the Head Master that are involved, or if it’s either, but now that you have admitted to going through the Academy’s personal financial records, the case can be made null and void in court. The treasurer of the Academy is making the argument that you magically tampered with their finances, and your letter can now be used as evidence against you.

Twilight, this is a serious matter. As a princess of Equestria, you must learn to conduct yourself in a more diplomatic manner, especially when dealing with your own subjects. Right now, the public is in favor of you in your dispute with the Head Master, but that can change very quickly in this kind of situation. I know that you’re not guilty of tampering their finances, but what you did wasn’t wise. I understand your displeasure with the Academy of Arcanum, but you should have come to me first, before you bombarded your letter all over Canterlot. I had hoped that when I received your letter on your findings, that I would be able to reach you before you did anything rash, but when I saw the angry citizens picketing the Academy, I knew I was too late.

Twilight. Breath.

Everything is going to be okay. There is no need to panic. I have not forgotten about your manuscript and you’ll be happy to know that it is safe, but I need you to try and remain calm in this situation. There are a few more things I must explain to you.

While, I too am disgusted with the wanton burning of Corral’s work, and the restrictions the Academy put on foreign magic texts, they are legally without fault. If the Academy was funded by the government, then they would be subject to the standard rules of education, like my personally funded school for gifted unicorns. Since they are not, and all the texts burnt in question were legally bought by them to begin with, they cannot be held guilty of any crime. This is also why they are able to be as dogmatic in their positions of magical theory as they have been.

You might reason with yourself that it may be no loss if the Academy did go under, but I will remind you, that despite the Academy’s ways, it has done some good. The most notable mages of all Equestria graduated from that Academy, it was founded by Starswirl the Bearded after all. Many of those mages do not still hold on to the Academy’s philosophy, and have expanded their realm of research, however they would not be where they are today if it wasn’t for the rigorous discipline the Academy imparted to them. The damage that the Academy has incurred, will also tarnish their reputation, especially for those who’ve only just graduated.

  As for the students still enrolled in the school, what are they going to do now? Some will enroll to a different school, of course, but others won’t be able too. Also, there is the matter of the staff, not just the upper staff. If the Academy goes under, they’ll be unemployed. Some of them are already putting in their resignations, but may not find employment with other schools because of their association with the Academy. This is how much your actions have colored the view of that school in the eyes of their peers.

Then there is the matter of your manuscript. The manuscript being lost was a cover story, but the Head Master has given a reasonable excuse that he will elaborate on in his letter, that should be arriving to you shortly. Apparently, a talented student at the Academy sneaked away in the dead of the night with the manuscript and misused it, in an experimental spell.

I regret to tell you they’re dead, Twilight.

This is not your fault. I am not blaming you for this, but the Head Master is.

This is their right hook.

You may recall a student by the name Long Reach. It was reported that he died in a magical experiment that wasn’t authorized by the Academy. The Head Master deemed the manuscript a danger, and hid the details of its use. He did this to protect the Academy’s reputation and he’s also saying that the reason he didn’t come forth with this information to you was because he wasn’t sure if you had been compromised by an agent of evil. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, that is exactly what he is accusing you of.

Twilight. Breathe. Relax.

This is not your fault. Long Reach, extended his hoof too far and unfortunately paid the ultimate price. All magic is dangerous in the wrong hooves, and the Academy was accountable for keeping that script safe. Please, do not blame yourself for Long Reach’s death. Grief will not aid you for what is to come.

With all the accusations coming your way, and with the understanding of how profoundly you have impacted the Academy, the staff, and the students, I hope you realize the gravity of what you have done.

Everything is going to be okay, though. This is part of being a princess. You make mistakes, and every once in a while you get involved in a scandal or two. I know I’ve had my share, so please understand that while I am disappointed, I am not condemning you in any way.

I will be arriving shortly to discuss this matter with you in private.

From an understanding heart,

Celestia

p.s. Twilight. Breathe.