The Forces of Cacophony

by MrScoutchace

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Dark, Human, Romance
Length: 3425

Equestria's fate once again rests in making friends, the problem? This time all hope lies with a cynical hermit brought from another crueler world. The question now is will he be able to let go?

A man who was contented in life but always a sense of longing for an adventure, now he has one and it's up to him to save equestria, there will be action, romance, comedy, and twists that even M. Night Shyamalan won't see coming. The kicker? His ability to succeed rests in his weakest skill, trusting others enough to make a friend.

My first story, one that I've been planning for a while and hope you all enjoy. Rated M for future possibilities.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-26 00:22:51 UTC

1: Extrapolate the Exposition

I'm torn from my dreams by the monotone buzzing of my alarm. My arm reaches out and smashes the snooze button. My hand shuffles about the nightstand until it brushes against my prescription goggles, adjusting them once they're on my face I turn and glance at the alarm seeing it reads three in the morning. As I roll out of bed I mumble to myself "Damn, wiring in that clock is on the fritz again? I'll have to...*yawn*... get around to fixing that too." Shuffling to the mirror a twenty-three year old white man looking back at me. The man in the mirror is a giant at six foot eight inches and has shoulder length raven black hair as well as a fair tan. Hidden behind the lenses of my goggles are my dull purple eyes I've had since birth due to a condition called Alexandria's Genesis. Continuing downwards my eyes see a well toned body with a decent layer of muscle due to hiking, exploring and the exercise routine I do almost daily to kill time.

Turning away from the mirror I grab my clothes for the day: A set of black combat boots, a pair of baggy, tan cargo pants, a white tee shirt and military green aviator jacket. I dress myself and grab my spelunking hat, a dusty pith helmet replica with a LED tri beam flashlight and a grimy chin strap, as well as my phone/mp3 player, ear buds and my pocket knife. I walk down the stairs and fix myself the breakfast of champions, bacon and eggs with a glass of milk and a doughnut. After I've eaten I put away my dishes and open my satchel that's hanging near the door. I do a quick inventory check noting I have: my laptop and its solar-powered charger along with an adapter for my phone, a small hatchet, a first-aid kit, and my survivalist's pack. I repack my satchel and sling it over my shoulder. Turning to the door my eye catches on my dusty ironwood Bō staff, well it's more of a walking stick than anything as it has not seen any combat practice in half a year.

A sense of dread strikes me and I decide to take it with me. With that I grab my spelunking gear and step out of my door locking it behind me. I breath a deep breath of crisp air and take in the majestic sight of the Rocky Mountains in the light of the full moon. I turn on my tri beam, plug in my headphones and set my mp3 to shuffle, and so I set off on my journey with Into the Mystic playing in my ear and a beam of light shining through the mist.

I arrive at a cave as the sun begins to rise. I set down my gear and turn off my music to watch the sunrise through the heavy mist, making the light of the rising sun sparkle and flash in a beautifully mystic way. As the sun climbs higher into the sky I turn my music on again and pick up my gear. I set into the cave as I hear the first notes of Descent roar into my ear. I unconsciously take a small swallow as I begin my descent, unaware of where I'd end. I descend deeper and deeper into the cave until the jagged rock around me turns into a  polished white marble passage. I briefly stop to wonder what I've found before my curiosity pushes me forward down the smooth marble corridor. As I walk I turn off my music and remove my headphones so I can think more clearly. Immediately questions bubble from my thoughts 'Why are there no cracks in the marble, why is there no sign of dust at the bottom of a cave, who built this and for what purpose?'

My feet cast echos off the walls alongside the taps as the bottom of my staff hits the floor with each step. Confusion strikes me as I see a gentle blue light at the end of the hall and all my thoughts rush to converge into a single sentence, 'What the hell?' I jog to the end of the corridor and freeze as I enter a massive vaulted dome with a large marble podium in the middle. I look for what's causing the light as I walk forward, my steps echoing back filling the room, I spot what is causing the light and freeze in place. A light blue miniature sun is floating at the top of the dome, "What sorcery is this?" I theatrically and confusedly query to the empty room.

My blood chills as a deep chuckle fills the room and begins to speak "It's just a simple light spell though I will admit it's a bit harder to maintain in this form."

My voice catches and I manage to squeak out incredulously "Simple light spell!" My throat relaxes as more questions spill out "A spell at all is incredible! But who are you, also where are you and what do you mean by 'in this form'?"

The voice laughs again saying "Approach the stand and I'll explain" I dash over to the stand as I hear him chortle "A bit excited are we?" I look at the marble stand and see an ancient looking book bound in leather. I look more closely at the cover revealing a moving light blue design showing stars swirling in a clockwise spiral with the words 'The Nomicon' at the top in a fine gold lettering.

"The Nomicon? Really?" I ask cynically.

I hear the voice bristle with pride as it booms out "Yes, really! Mine was the original! All your silly Necronomicons and Polynomicons are all based off of this! Be grateful as I need you to use it! Now I am Star Swirl the Bearded and-"

I burst out laughing "Wait a second, what kind of name is that!"

The newly dubbed Star Swirl waited patiently for my laughter to die down and responded sounding annoyed "If you let me finish I'll explain, as I was saying I am Starswirl the Bearded" I snicker a little at this as I am not quite past it. "Ahem, And I come from a realm of magic called equestria. I am now a consciousness trapped within this book, one thousand years ago I went terribly insane and with my last sane thoughts I sealed myself inside this book to keep myself from harming others. Sadly, there was a flaw in my plan as it expelled my madness which infected a being of great power, a deity of chaos named Discord, turning him cruel and thoughtless with his chaos, an act which forced his closest friends, the rulers of equestria, to wage war against him. The two rulers and sisters, Celestia and Luna, fought to return him to  but were forced to seal him in stone using The Elements of Harmony,  Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter and Magic! They are powerful relics that expel evil from the target, and while they did stop him they trapped my insanity within him while taking the Greed, Cruelty, Deceit, Grief, Betrayal, and Power that spawned from it; forming what I like to call the Forces of Cacophony as they were meant to counter the Elements. I believe I was infected with my insanity by somepony else."

He paused for a moment before continuing "With this in mind, I believe I was meant to become the Force of Power to counter the Element of Magic. I also believe that Discord himself was to become the Force of Grief to neutralize the Element of Laughter. With this the six Forces set out to find a new bearer. Now as far as I know only Grief, Greed, Betrayal and Deceit have found hosts. Betrayal within Luna, Greed within Sombra, Grief within a Released Discord and Deceit within the Changeling Queen Chrysalis. Betrayal, Greed, and Grief have all been defeated and cast out again while Deceit slipped away to lick her wounds. Each of these you will learn more about if you help me."

"I know the Forces are growing stronger and wish to gather to take on the Elements, but I believe you can help see for it is no mere chance you are here. Through out your life I've watched you since I felt the purity in your birth and watched you as you grew and while your are flawed your getting closer to purity, I gave you small pushes to lead you here. I have seen in you a power which  can strengthen the Elements, but only if you believe in the true magic of friendship and are able to feel the deepest of emotions for them will you unlock your power. This will be a task most difficult for you, but without it the Elements will be overpowered and equestria will descend into darkness." Star Swirl finishes ominously.

I stand there stunned trying to take this in, 'I have to power to save a world and it rests on me making friends?" I begin to laugh hysterically. "They are screwed! I live in a cabin alone at the bottom of a mountain, and I haven't had a friend since I was eight!' I finish laughing then stand there deep in thought before stating "Also there's a slight problem Star, I'm here and not there."

He chuckles saying "So your willing then? Good, as for how you'll get there all you have to do is open the book." I adopt a look of skepticism and open the book. I feel a rush of energy push from the book like lightning shooting up my veins into my head, I see a flash from the blue sun above and I'm left with just my tri-beam for light, the book disappeared and being left lying on the floor. With my skull I hear Star Swirl say 'Much cozier in here, now before you freak out let me explain. I'm adding my knowledge to your own instinctual knowledge so your not totally lost, as well as the ability for magic. Now, After i'm done i'm going to ‘go to sleep’ in the back of your mind only waking if you ask for my help, opinion or if I deem it necessary, alright?'

I grumble to myself "No use arguing, it's already done."

Once again he pipes up 'I can hear your thoughts when I'm conscious, you don't have to talk to yourself like a loon.'

I sigh and continue my mental conversation 'Alright that's good to know but how am I getting to this... equestria?'

I hear his deep laugh within my head 'Simple, I cast a portal spell, add my knowledge then sleep' I feel the rush go down my arms and see my fingers light up with a nearly translucent grey aura as a large blue wormhole appears in front of me. The grey aura persists as I feel my bag of gear and satchel being lifted slightly. I hear Star Swirl quip 'I'm putting an enchantment so that only you can open your bag and purse.' I growl that it's not a purse as I'm forced to step into the wormhole and from within me I hear 'Off you go to the land of magic and ponies!'

I start at that, 'Wait, Ponies?' I think as I begin to drop from the sky, I see a forest below me as I hurtle towards a small hut. 'This is gonna hurt' I think before crashing through the roof and hearing a loud and sickening crack as my head connects with a soft and squishy object as the word blurs and fades away. Star Swirl chuckles maliciously before whispering 'Welcome to equestria.'

2: Nope

Waking up with a splitting headache is not a good way to start a day. Groaning I open my eyes to the blinding light and as the light filters into my eyes I look around to find myself in a wooden cage with no bottom and a small zebra staring at me. Past the zebra it looks as if we are in a stereotypical cartoon african shaman hut and my staff is near the door. The zebra has a black and white striped mohawk and multiple gold rings around her neck and foreleg. 'Did I just refer to it as a her?’ I take a second closer inspection and notice the zebra appears to have a more slender figure and wider flanks than expected with a male, so I assume it is indeed a she.

The question is answered when the zebra opens her mouth and begins to speak in a low yet feminine voice, “In all my years of living here I have never seen a creature like you, not once not even in a zoo.” My mouth hangs open as my brain tries to process this, a zebra just talked to me and not only did she talk but she spoke in rhyme.

I grab the bottom of the cage and lift it over my head as the zebras jaw drops. I drop the cage behind me and begin to walk to the door with both my middle fingers up “Nope, nope nope, no, nope, I'm done, fuck this I'm out.” Grabbing my Bō Staff and Bursting outside. Leaving the gobsmacked zebra behind me, I'm hit with the smells of a temperate forest. I set out in a random direction pulling out my hatchet and slicing any plants that get in my way.

Behind me hooves are hitting the ground and the zebra is calling after me. “Wait, please do not flee from me. I only want to have a chat you see.”

Without looking back I respond “Is that why I woke up in a cage?” Momentary silence follows as I press deeper into the forest.

Behind me the zebra calls out “Please do not take offense, When you first found me you cracked my neck and back, I was unsure if you meant to attack..” I sigh and turn around

“Do you always rhyme like that because it’s starting to get on my nerves.” I continue onwards trying to ignore the fact that I’m talking to a small zebra

“ I have spoken like this since I was young, cursed by a rival tribe with this cursed tongue.” Rhymed the mare.

I sigh and rub my temples, “Can you stop it please?”

A note of sadness creep into her voice “ I wish I could maybe then I would not be so misunderstood.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see the zebra begin to walk next to me, “ What’s stopping you besides this 'curse'?” She sighs and opens her mouth only to close it again. “ Well if you can't think of a reason then stop rhyming.”

She looks at me then looks down in thought; What I hear next makes me raise an eyebrow at her. “I will attempt to stop rhyming my bipedal friend, I will attempt it before I reach the…” I stop and look at her to see she’s obviously struggling. I cross my arms and stand there amused at my silly situation. ‘I’m standing here in the middle of a forest trying to help a zebra with a speech impediment.’ I smirk as she squeaks out the end of her sentence “finish.” She looks around as if waiting for an impending doom before breaking out in a cartoonishly wide grin.

Chuckling, I start walking again and am immediately tackled to the ground in a flying hug. “I would not have tried if it weren't for you, I am ever so happy for this meeting of two.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she grins sheepishly before rubbing the back of her head with her hoof “Sorry, force of habit. I will ask that you please come back to my hut so I can properly thank you and attempt a second meeting under better circumstances.” I look up in the sky to see the sun setting with no end to the forest in sight, I sigh and turn back to the small zebra.

“Let’s go” A smile adorns her face as she trots back in the direction we came. As we walk I gather some basic information about where I am and find out that her name is Zecora. “That’s a rather excotic sounding name.” If she heard me than I have gone ignored. The way back was filled with me asking questions and her, after years of being unable to properly talk, being all too ready to answer.

        We reach her hut and she guides me to a room off to the side that was covered by a leaf curtain which when pulled aside reveals what appears to be a spacious storage room with a tiny cot in it. She turns to me “ I’m sorry I do not have better lodgings for you but my hut is not very large so we must make do.” She begins to chuckle “ I now understand why it’s humorous to unintentionally make a rhyme.”

‘Even if I have no clue how far from home I am or how I got here it’s not all bad, looking at Zecora now I can see the happiness speaking normally brought her, and I’m glad I could help.’ At this point she clears her throat and I realised that I had been staring and looked away embarrassed. “It’s fine Zecora, i've had worse lodgings.”

She turns and goes to leave before looking back at me “ Tomorrow I’ll go and pick up some…” I see her eyes go wide and her grin grow impossibly large before she giddily continues “ I’ll get some oranges!” She does a little dance in place before a large blush appears on her muzzle she quickly goes to leave saying “ Sleep well…" She stops and turns back to me, "I never got your name.” She looks down abashedly.

‘I think I'll take this marvelous opportunity to do a name change, not like she'll ever know.’ “ I don't have one for with my people it’s tradition to only get our name once you've found your place in the world, so until I earn my name you can call me Crow as those around me did."

"Very well... Crow. I shall see you tomorrow." Zecora said as she left.

I take the blankets off the cot before making a bed on the floor. I crawl into my makeshift bed and begin to think about my day and what I learned from Zecora. 'So, I wake up on a Equis a world dominated by mythical creatures, in a sentient zebras home in a cage. I then end up helping said zebra with a speech impediment and am now in her home as a guest... What the hell did I smoke?' Other questions begin to rise like 'How did I get here?, Why can't I remember what happened yesterday?, Why do we share the same language and and....' I feel a buzzing in my skull. 'Why do I suddenly feel so tired....'

>>>>>POV Change<<<<<

Within his head a high pitched voice rings out "Sleep now, can't have you digging around your thoughts and mucking up my magic now can we?" The voices chuckles before continuing "As for you my precious 'Stary' a quick spell should keep you buried deep in his subconscious and stop him from questioning to much." A light orange aura surrounds the sleeping Crow as the spell is cast. "And as for you Discord, stay out of this and I promise your grief will be swept away along side your insanity." As the presence within his mind fades it leaves one last remark "Now to simply step back and prepare for the coming months as the 'Harmonious Symphony of Equestria' is reduced to a squabbling cacophony."

Deep within Crows subconscious a hot pain burns in Star Swirl as he strains to be free. "I never thought it could be him that would bring our destruction. I never believed he would hurt me, I trusted him and he used me as a pawn. *sigh* I will have to fight to free myself so I can assist 'Crow'... Heh, and he though I had a funny name. I can only hope that the other half of me is fighting to stop this and will help Crow to free me."