//-------------------------------------------------------// Impossible Appocalypse -by Viking Hoof- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Crystal Courier, Crystal Empire, 04/01/0005 //-------------------------------------------------------// Crystal Courier, Crystal Empire, 04/01/0005 Meteor Strike On The Crystal Palace Proclaimed To Not Be Sombran In Origin! Ponies all over the Crystal Empire Rejoice! Last week's meteor strike has finally been decreed to not be first stage in a final attack by Sombra. We of the Courier can safely say that this conclusion was not reached hastily. Ever since the Palace was hit, platoons of scientists have been turning over the rock for traces of magic, the military relocated the heart to a safer location, and our Princess and Prince raised the shield. Nothing but the expected background radiation was found on the rock, its composition was "plain and boring," and not a single soldier has gone missing. The heart itself saw so little action that Princess Cadence didn't even bother throwing another festival. Clinching the decision was the final report of the engineers inspecting the damage done to the Crystal Palace. It is with great joy that we relay their exact findings. "We, The Crystal Palace Repair Committee, do pronounce the Crystal Palace to be stable enough to begin repairs. We expect a near if not full recovery for our historic landmark." Unfortunately, we must also confer some bad news. "The evacuated areas of the capital must remain so until the repairs are complete. The operation will be delicate, and we can't afford hoof steps to resonate with the Crystal pillar until the repairs are complete." Princess Cadence's decree closing the debate on the meteor's possible Sombran origins also addressed this issue. "While the repairs are underway, residents of the evacuated areas will be given a stipend to cover housing, and a tax relief to last until their businesses can open again." She later goes on in more detail, "the stipend won't cover renting housing matching that of your current home, but we have secured discounts with several villages and hotels in Equestria along the rail line." To find out more about the stipend, see page C3 for full details. Doctors report major breakthroughs in Minelung research! Parents rejoice! In another heart lifting announcement, the Equestrian and Imperial co-research group published reports revealing major discoveries in treating Minelung disease. Volunteer test subjects have reported increased lung capacity, softer breathes, and a decrease in Minelung attacks. Researches predict a cure to be available in one year at the maximum. The treatment plan currently favored involves binding a thaumaturgical agent to the mine dust that unicorn doctors have a easier time finding for teleportation. So far, no colt or filly receiving the treatment has died. Parents are already trying to get their children on the waiting list to volunteer to try the treatme- *A tap on your shoulder drags you away from your reading. The shop owner is looking at you. expectantly. The you've already read the interesting stuff, but you are embarrassed enough to pay him for it anyway. With a sigh, you tuck it into your bags for later reading.* //-------------------------------------------------------// Royal Reconnaissance Team 5-67 Report 675, 04/06/0005 //-------------------------------------------------------// Royal Reconnaissance Team 5-67 Report 675, 04/06/0005 04-06-0005. 21:00 R-R Division Gamma, Platoon Charlie, Poseidon Squad Sr#: 433-654-788-C Sr#: 423-556-645-A Project Canary Mission#: 24 04-03-0005. 05:00 Luxury Coaches (Royal, Windsor, Talon, Break Beak, House Claw) 5 Guard coaches (large number of each of the previous 5 crests) 35 Royal Road 04/05/0005. 07:42 going South, high speed. The coaches were in rough shape, squad mates described them as "hasty." Speed higher than standard Griffin Royal Traffic, and guards fewer than standard. Sky is looking dark and suspect. Rumbling heard. No other traffic seem yet. Final opinion: Volcanic Instability near Royal Palace, Royals evacuating, civilians left to fend for themselves or uninformed. Griffin civilians aren't evacuating, indicates uninformed is more likely cause. Requesting permission to inform local contacts of suspicions, high number of civilians at risk. //-------------------------------------------------------// Royal Reconnaissance Central Coordination: Griffin Division, Response To R-675-PostRequest. 04/06/0005 //-------------------------------------------------------// Royal Reconnaissance Central Coordination: Griffin Division, Response To R-675-PostRequest. 04/06/0005 04/06/0005. 21:32. High Command: Griffin Division. Sr#: 423-556-645-A Subject: Attached PostRequest of Report 675, Movement Prders Permission: Granted Guidelines: Limit Interaction to Griffin Contacts. Aid Requests by Griffin Civilians are to be directed to local embassy by griffins. Orders: Move closer to Griffin Capital to observe exact cause. Details: Situations developing in Equestria, deaths:0, injuries: few, report ASAP if cause is extraequisstrial in origin or if disastrous event forces movement of people but causes no deaths. //-------------------------------------------------------// RR Team 5-67, Report 676, 04/06/0005, HIGH PRIORITY //-------------------------------------------------------// RR Team 5-67, Report 676, 04/06/0005, HIGH PRIORITY 04/06/0005. 23:56 R-R Division Gamma, Platoon Charlie, Poseidon Squad Sr#: 433-654-788-C Sr#: 423-556-645-A Project Canary Mission#: 24B Situation matches given profile closely. Political situation deteriorating: uproar over royal cowardice and cruelty. Orders? //-------------------------------------------------------// ROYAL DECREE: 040005-C, 04/07/0005. //-------------------------------------------------------// ROYAL DECREE: 040005-C, 04/07/0005. ALL EQUESTRIAN CITIZENS ARE HEARBY FORBIDDEN TO TOUCH THE RED SHIELD DOMES THAT HAVE ARISEN OVER THE EMPTY AREAS OF THE CITY. ANY FOUND DOING SO WILL FACE INCARCERATION. FAMILIES ALREADY DISPLACED BY THE STAR STRIKE WILL CONTINUE TO BE HOUSED WITHIN THE CASTLE. ALL MISSING FAMILY MEMBERS ARE TO BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY. A STATE OF EMERGENCY IS NOT IN EFFECT, BUT CITIZENS ARE ADVISED TO CONSIDER TEMPORARY RELOCATION UNTIL THE SITUATION IS SETTLED. *Stunned, you turn and stare at the giant red dome as the crier repeats the decree. Your instincts whisper fear into your ear. After a moment you run home to write to your relatives in Appleoosa. Hopefully their offers to house you if you visited still stood.* //-------------------------------------------------------// Final Prologue: The Shield //-------------------------------------------------------// Final Prologue: The Shield 04/12/0005, Canterlot, Central District, Outside of the "Starfall Shield." Celestia and Luna stood together as they one had against Discord and Sombra. Both were nervous, and both hid it from the world as best they could. Before them stood the shimmering opaque red shield as it had first appeared. The Starfall dome, as the populace had named it, was the largest of the five that had appeared on Equiss. Every single one had appeared over a area evacuated for some reason or another. The other four had a Alicorn or equivalent power nearby, but they had all agreed that this dome was likely the biggest threat, and that Luna and Celestia both would do best defending their home together. Like the other four, the Starfall dome was watched and scanned by a team of scientists. Each team was kept in continuous communication with the rest. Every precaution was being taken, every reserve was mustered. The world's economy was at a standstill as every nation made ready for whatever was happening within the domes. With a deep, slow breathe Luna stepped forward. Her wings were ready to take flight, her horn was charged, her ethereal mane rapidly fluctuating under the strain of her ready stored magic, and that of her spell. Celestia stepped forward like an echo. She mirrored her more aggressive sister perfectly. The white princess could almost be mistaken for a enchanted shadow, but the illusion broke if you looked into their eyes. Luna's eyes were curious, aggressive, uncertain. They reflected a inner doubting of her own abilities and knowledge, but the aggression was her reaction to such feelings, for better or worse. Celestia's eyes bore calm, anger, caution, worry. They reflected her concern for her student and subjects. Her anger at the domes and at herself for not preparing more. The caution was always there. Neither sister moved, but the flow of magic around their horns intensified. It became a visible torrent of energy. The color of their magic transcended their aura and became indescribable by mortal words. Some would later call the color divine. Others found it unnatural. All were awed. Both sisters held reservations about what they were about to do, but they both agreed it had been long enough. They couldn't afford to wait any longer. Both horns discharged simultaneously blinding any watchers temporarily. Those who looked after the flash saw the magic culminate into a ball and strike the wall. It wasn't what actually happened, but only a immortal would have seen what really did. The shield didn't crack. It didn't bend. It didn't even ripple. Both Princesses stared at the red wall in confusion. The air was still. Shock rippled through the city. Panic approached close on the heels of shock. There was a thunderous crash and the shield began to bulge out where the Princesses had struck it. Panic sped on past shock and the quiet air was filled with the sound of fleeing hooves. The shield became more and more transparent as it stretched out. The balloon like effect was almost comical, if you ignored what it revealed. It was monstrous. Its shape was worm like, but its flesh was chitinous and insect like. Then end of it was a huge tavern sized mouth filled with frighteningly sharp teeth. Along its visible length was small limbs lined on one side with enormous sharp spines. On each side was a street wide eyes with multiple alien pupils that flowed along the liquid surface. Celestia and Luna both shrunk physically before the horror. Never before had they cast there gaze upon such a grotesque form. They had to fight there own legs to not run, and their own guts to not retch. Both braced for impact, but the shield started to slow the creature's fall, and eventually it ceased to balloon out and instead began to pull the creature back in. In a few moments the shield had returned to its original shape, and once again hid the thing that had strained it. Seconds passed slower than a tree walked, but before Luna or Celestia could begin to process what had happened there was a terrible unnatural screech that shook the ground. In the blink of an eye the creature had again slammed against the shield and stretched it to near breaking. Time froze, and for a moment it was certain that the unspeakable horror would break through. But again the shield defied the horror and dragged it back inside. Celestia and Luna finally shook themselves of their shock and tried again to charge spells. Far sooner than last time there was a screech that shook the cliff. Again the monster hit the shield. Another shock ran through the city. The monster was dead. Where once was the horrors head, there was now a mangled grotesque mess. It spurted a vile dark liquid. It floundered against the shield, and again it was pulled back into obscurity. Luna and Celestia looked at each other, unsure if what they had just experienced was real. //-------------------------------------------------------// Noble News, Canterlot, 04/02/0005 //-------------------------------------------------------// Noble News, Canterlot, 04/02/0005 CELESTIA'S REACTION TO STAR STRIKE WORRYING! Celestia decreed today that the evacuated "residents" of the insignificant Cliff's Edge Suburb would reside on government land. Citizens are shocked and appalled, for this not only wastes taxpayers money on dirty selfish no ponies, but it is a direct rejection of Prince Blueblood's fair and "economical" offer to house the residents for a "fair and reasonable fee." To our further shock, Celestia chose the palace itself as the housing location, without separating out the dirty homosexuals or poor! Good ponies attempting to bring forth petitions have already been seen leaving because of the smell! Surely Celestia can see that our country is going to fall apart if ponies who matter can't have their needs addressed! "Experts" predict that reinforcing the cliff will take up to three months, THREE MONTHS! This is obviously a ploy by Celestia to laze about and not address the needs of the real ponies. The cliff doesn't need reinforcing at all! We should send those filthy beggars packing and let their dirty little suburb fall off of Canterlot! Canterlot needs a cleaning out! All these dirty poor, useless uppity middle class "citizens," and especially the blaspheming, perverted homosexuals, we should send them all packing! We should thank Nightmare a Moon for reminding us that we don't have to take such indignity as sharing our city with these non-ponies! All Faust fearing ponies should unite to- (page B3) Celestia Rejects Law Forbidding Homosexual Perversity, Blueblood's Furious! Real ponies are in uproar as Celestia refuses to execute filthy homosexuals. It is obvious that she has lost her connection to Faust! We... *The rest of the paper is unreadable, and stinks faintly of fecal matter. You toss it away in realization and disgust.*