Twilight stood by the door and took in a deep breath. Exhaling, she mentally prepared for the day ahead. Glancing at the clock in the corner she counted down the seconds under her breath.
“Fifty-seven... fifty-eight... fifty-nine... five thirty AM,”
it was time to open the Ponyville Library. Twilight's horn glowed briefly and with a soft clack the front door was unlocked. Twilight loved working at the library, the order, the quite, the near infinite supply of reading material. She even loved the early hours. But, most of all, she loved to help others find the joy of books... If only ponies ever actually visited to check out books! Twilight had been running this library for a full month now, but it seemed to twilight that the only time ponies ever bothered to visit the library was to fetch her to help fix something with her magic or save the world.
Sighing Twilight trod over to her desk to re-shelve the previous night's reading material. How to Run a Business: For Foals, Apt Advertising for the Adventurous and Affable, and Iron Will's Guide to Aggressive Marketing, among others. She had spent the past couple days studying on how to attract ponies to the library, and today she enacted phase one of her plan.
Phase one consisted of sending Spike out earlier this morning to put up posters advertising the library. She had to bribe him with extra gems from the market place later in the evening to secure his services this early, but it was going to be worth it. The posters themselves were a simple affair, a blue background with white block letters reading “FREE BOOKS” followed by directions to the library. According to Iron Will's Guide to Aggressive Marketing, advertising free things was a sure fire way to attract patrons. Advertising free books at a library seemed a little redundant to her, but Twilight was never one to question the books.
“H-hello...” came a soft voice behind Twilight.
“Oh! My apologies, I was a little lost in thoughts,” replied Twilight a bit sheepishly, as she turned, excited to meet what would hopefully be her first patron of the day... well actually her first patron ever! Upon seeing the pink and yellow pegasus standing demurely behind her though, she had a sinking feeling she was not here to check out any books. “What brings you to the library Fluttershy?” she asked her friend.
“Oh, um, I was actually wondering if you could come lift a fallen log that's blocking the ducks path to their pond later if you weren't busy, it's causing them a lot of..” Flutter shy trailed off upon seeing her friend become visibly agitated as she explained the ducks predicament. “I-I mean if y-you can't that's fine, I could ask Applejack or Rainbow Dash or anypony else, I'm sorry I asked I'll just-”
“No, Fluttershy, I'm sorry. It's not you, I've just been kinda stressed lately,” sighed Twilight as she tried to calm down the panicky mare.
“Y-you're not angry? Oh thank goodness... has work been too stressful recently?”
“It's not the work that's got me stressed, Fluttershy, it's the lack of work.”
“Huh?”
“I haven't had one pony check out a book since I've moved here, and I was hoping today would be the day I'd finally get one...”
“Oh, I'm so sorry Twilight, is there anything I can do to help?”
“Actually, if you could help put up some fliers advertising the library in some higher places Spike couldn't reach, I'd really appreciate it! In exchange I'll help you move that log after the library closes later?”
“Oh I'd love to help, I've still got to run some errands around town and I can put them up as I go.”
“Perfect! I'll see you later Fluttershy.” Twilight levitated an extra pile of posters.
“Bye Twilight.” Tucking the posters under a wing, Fluttershy waved a hoof and went on here way.
Twilight went back to her task of re-shelving, confident in her plan and in her friends. She'll have ponies flooding the library in no time, she was sure of it.
Two hours passed in complete silence. Twilight was still the only pony in the library. Spike had returned an hour before, but later left to visit Rarity after completing his chores. Twilight was beginning to think she'd never get a patron, when suddenly a the front door creaked open. In walked an Earth Pony with a yellow coat and orange mane. Carrot Top, if Twilight remembered correctly. But, most important of all, stuffed in her saddle bag was none other than a “FREE BOOKS” flier.
“Hello, I found this flier about free books and was wondering if this was the place?” Asked the orange haired mare.
Twilight's heart jumped in her chest. This was it. This was her first patron. She couldn't mess this up!
“Yes! Welcome to the Ponyville Library,” Twilight teleported within an inch of the startled mare, their muzzles practically touching. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Uh...” Carrot top backed a step, suddenly uncertain if this was a wise choice or not.
“We have all sorts of books here! Books on carrots, lots! You like carrots right?!” Twilight leaned in even more. A manic look donned Twilight's visage, as she advanced on the pony, backing her into the closed front door.
“You know, I think I left my um, brush at home! Can't go anywhere without my brush!” Exclaimed the now terrified mare. Not even waiting for a reply she bolted out the door.
“Horse feathers...”
That had not gone as well as she had planned, not well at all. Twilight had panicked and ran off her first potential patron. It was time to enact phase two of her plan. Reading. According to Apt Advertising for the Adventurous and Affable, the best way to advertise a product was to show it in use. Hopefully anypony walking in seeing her enjoying a good book would be encourage them to find a good book themselves.
Picking up the latest Daring Do installment she prepared for her favorite part of the plan. She was going to “advertise” her books. Opening up where she last left off, Twilight began to read.
An hour passed. Twilight had cleared through over half the book, and the climax was building. Dargin Do had been betrayed by the dastardly Dr. Caballeron and had fallen right into the clutches of some very angry pygmy ponies. If she didn't escape not only would Dr. Caballeron get away with the relic, but the pygmies were planning on sacrificing her to their volcano god! Daring Do just needed-
“ahem”
Daring Do just needed to get-
“Ahem!”
“What!?” Exclaimed Twilight, aggravated to be interrupted in such a crucial point in the story. Looking from her book she came face to face with a gray unicorn stallion.
“Well?” Asked the clearly equally agitated stallion.
“Well what? Can't you see I'm in the middle of a very important plot twist?”
“You know what? Never mind,” deadpanned the stallion. Crumbling up a flier and throwing it in the trash, he walked out the door without explanation.
“Sheesh, the nerve of some ponies,” grumbled Twilight returning to her book.
Daring Do just needed to get one of her hooves loose from her binds in order to reach the knife hidden in her hat. She was almost there, just another couple-
Twilight mind blanked. She looked up, saw the blue flier in the trash bin, and put two and two together.
“Horse apples.”
She lost yet another patron, this time betrayed by the very books she was trying to rent out. She glared accusingly at the book she was just reading. The book sat there smugly, silently mocking Twilight.
“Ok, no more nice pony!” Twilight said to herself, “It's time for Phase Three!”
Phase Three, the final phase of her plan. Her last resort. She had hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Desperate measures and powerful magic.
Turing back to her work desk, eyed the book she was looking for. The last of the books she had been studying last night. One left out for this specific purpose. Pausing to read the title, Business Arcana and Cantrips,she paged through to the advanced chapters and settled on the page she'd book marked earlier. Setting it down in front of her Twilight reread the spell one more time before closing her eyes and focusing on her horn. The light around her horn built into a blinding flash and dissipated as fast as it appeared. Panting Twilight looked around, wondering how long her spell will need to take effect.
No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, that the door swung open and in walked a confused pony.
“Wow, something smells really nice in here!”
Yes, thought Twilight, the spell worked! She knew her books wouldn't lie to her. The pheromone attraction spell worked like a charm.
Twilight turned to greet the new pony, this time calm and collected with her nerves in check. But, before she could utter a word, two more ponies walked in. This was working much better than Twilight suspected.
“Hello and welcome to the Ponyville Library,” Twilight began, “Is there anything I can-”
That's when the floodgates opened. At first a low rumble, and then rose. Soon the books started shaking in their very shelves. The front door burst open and ponies flowed in. It was a rainbow stream of unicorns, pegasai, and earth ponies. The torrent of pony bodies quickly filled the library to capacity. Twilight was pushed up onto the stairs, overlooking the crowd. Voices jumbled together as ponies jostled for position and piled in one after the other.
“What smells so nice?”
“What's going on?”
“My leg!”
“That's a really nice smell.”
“Twilight why are we all in the library?”
“This is getting kinda outta hand.”
That last pony could not have understated the situation more. This was clearly against Fire Safety regulations!
“Oh no I must have overpowered the spell,” wailed Twilight, “the pheromones are so strong they're attracting all of ponyville! I've got to reverse this... but where'd I put that book!” The throng of ponies had swallowed her work desk as well as the book she need with it. “Where's Pinkie Pie when you need her?” she thought aloud.
“Right here!” Popping out of the sea of ponies wearing a snorkel, goggles, and a wet suit, the pink party pony raised her hoof waving down Twilight.
“Pinkie! Thank goodness! Do you think you could find a book for me? It's called Business Arcana and Cantrips, and it's written by Sunshine Sales!” Asked Twilight.
“Ma'am, yes ma'am!” saluted Pinkie. Diving back into the depths, she disappeared, and moments later popped back up a few meters away. “Got it!” exclaimed the excited equine, waving the lost book in her hooves. She chucked it over to Twilight who deftly caught it in a levitation spell.
Twilight had to act quickly, the ponies outside unable to get in were starting to claw at the windows, peering in with wild eyes. Flipping through the book, she found the page containing the spell and scanned for how to undo this fiasco. Finding what she needed she cast the spell with a blinding flash. The room went quite, everyponies attention drawn to the flash and by association, Twilight.
“Twilight what in tarnation is going on?” aked Applejack from the crowd, breaking the silence.
“Yeah Twilight, what gives? One moment I'm practicing stunts, and next I wind up in your house!” added Rainbow Dash.
“Oooh, yeah, about that... I kinda may have accidentally overpowered a spell to attract people to the library...” came Twilight's sheepish response, seeing quite a few glares from the crowd. “I'm sorry everypony, don't mind me, you should probably head home... it's against fire safety regulations to have this many ponies inside the library anyway.”
Ponies exited the premises more than a little loudly. Many complaining openly. Thankfully Twilight's friends were more than understanding, used to the lavender unicorn's magical mishaps by now.
Not a pony left, thought Twilight, now it's back to square one. Slumping on to her haunches as she looked around at the mess the crowd left, she laid her head down on the central table and closed her eyes, wishing she could just forget this whole ordeal never happened. She sat there for what could have been minutes or hours, Twilight didn't know nor care.
A silent creaking noise brought Twilight out of her thoughts. Picking her head up she saw a grey pegasus peaking through the door, her blonde mane matching equally golden eyes.
“Are you hear to complain about the smell spell too?” asked a wary Twilight.
“Um, actually,” replied the pegasus, reaching around and pulling out a blue flier, “I was wondering if this was the place for free books?”
A small smile touched Twilight's lips. “Yes, this is the Ponyville Library, what can I help you with?” Twilight picked herself up as she asked.
“I was wondering if you had any muffin cook books.”
Fin
