Service

Finally free of my pupal stage, and free from the pool and the wall. I could look to the Hive in all its greatness. However I did feel… odd. I found that all of my brothers and sisters were a… all about the same size, yet I was massive in comparison. I stood nearly twice as tall as my brothers and sisters. Despite my size, none of my siblings seemed to notice me. Oddly enough every day, when the Feeders would salivate edible love to the Hive, they would allow me to eat. Unfortunately, despite them feeding me as much as I could eat, my hunger never faded. I still craved something unknown.

Back to the leaving pupahood. Still dripping with the Spawning Pool’s fluids I assumed that I would be given orders. None were ever given to me. Without a directive, I began to ask about. Suddenly realizing I was now capable of speech. Sadly, none of siblings seemed to share in my ability to speak. The usually just hissed at me. This… exclusion saddened me deeply. I was without a swarm. And had no place. Determined, I decided to watch my siblings, and join them in their activities and duties. Without being given a place to work, I took it on myself to find work.

Everyday I would find a group of my smaller siblings, and join them. Aiding them however I could. Yet in no place did I ever feel… placed. I never felt like I belonged. I never felt as if I was doing what I should. I blamed myself for being different. For being larger, and thusly taking longer to develop and missing my assignment.

Day to day I worked. One day, I would go with the Builders. We would devour parts of the hive that were old and falling apart, as well as a wax substance Waxers would create. And regurgitate a new and harder fluid in it's place. Using that paste, we would rebuild any structure. Be that a dying pillar, or jammed door. We rebuilt the fallen. Yet this was not my place. My regurgitation would never match the same color or density as my siblings. So often my siblings would eat my failure and regurgitate the proper substance. I tried several times to be a good Builder. But it was not my place. I had the same problem as a Waxer, my wax was never as strong or as thick as I needed it to be. And so my siblings would devour my failure, and regurgitate out success. A Waxer was not my place either.

I never tried to be a Broodmother for the larvae, my hatred of the wall made me stray away from that place. For fear that I would destroy the wall, and either a generation of my siblings would die or I would die trying to break down that wall. I did however, two or three times, carry my larvae brothers and sisters to the Spawning Pool to gestate. I prided myself on using my size to carry five or six of my siblings at a time while my siblings could only carry two or three. Sadly, I did not feel that was my duty either.

I never got the chance to be a Feeder. Nor would I have taken it. They got to visit the great almighty Queen Chrysalis personally... sometimes. They would be gifted the love she gathered for us, and thusly the Feeders would salivate a pink fluid that all of us ate. Well.. they did not get to visit her all of the time. Usually they would simply go to the pods that held her love for us. Drink it. And give it back to us. I both desperately wanted their job, but shamefully feared being discovered as useless. A giant changeling, with no prime directive! They would kill me and toss me away. If my Queen ever saw me, she would cry with shame, at the failure of one of her children.

I could not be seen by my Queen. So I could not serve her directly. There was no place for me in the Hive.

However.

One day I found a hole, on one of my attempts to belong with the Builders. Taken by curiosity, I followed it to the Old Lands, a bad place for us changelings. You see, my brothers and sisters, all of us live in one giant place. The Hive. Yet outside this Hive, there was a kingdom of stone. The world continues on forever. Large structures unlike anything I had ever seen. Like square giant boxes they sat. Eaten by the weather that the Hive sheltered me from. Written in a black effluvial grime read the words. BAD PLACE RETURN TO HIVE. I realized all at once again. Firstly, I could somehow read a language I had never been taught. Second. I could look beyond the warning. Beyond my own actions. Beyond the order and see that my ability to read and speak were greatly abnormal. My size was abnormal. These thoughts, even the mere idea that I was thinking them. Scared me back into the safety of the Hive. I vowed to never return to that place after that. As it would go, my Queen had different plans for me.

One day after that, just like any other. I tried to be something I knew I was not. We, more the actual Builders, were devouring a wall. Horridly, the wall fell early. Smashing both me and a sister of mine. My carapace was hardly scratched. I pushed up and threw the wall off of my body with ease. My sister did not fare nearly as well.

Squashed, her insides became outsides. Her compact eyeballs popped. Her head was smashed in on itself in a gory green stew of blood and brain. Her body was smashed, unable to take the weight of the wall, her carapace cracked open. Her various organs and viscera squeezed out of those cracks. Smashed as terribly as she was. Her body was completely and utter crushed.

Never before had I seen a more appetizing meal.

I threw myself over her in a second. Using my forehooves and mouth, I ripped apart and threw away as much of the carapace as I could. Before completely losing control and wildly gorging on the gore of my sister. Stuffing my maw, which I now knew was significantly larger and sported many more sharp and barbed teeth. I tore into the gore, feasting. For the first time in my life the horrible and painful hunger finally stopped. Yet I had eaten the gore of my own sister. Despite my joy and satisfaction I had no choice but to banish myself. I fled immediately.

Into the Bad Place.