Killing them with Kindness

by Mayhew Cullen

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, King Sombra, Fluttershy, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6347

After their rousing success at making friends with Discord, Twilight and the girls are ready for their greatest challenge yet... Redeeming the war criminal Sombra.

Months of planning and preparation have steeled Twilight and her friends for this day. All that they need now is Celestia's permission to proceed.

After being granted their request almost all the girls are ready to help Sombra become their friend, however those five can only hope that Fluttershy will find the courage to show kindness to the tyrant. The yellow Pegasus could only hope that kindness and friendship will be enough to save her from the most horrifying pony she had ever known. As for Sombra, his only desire would be the chance to take vengeance upon the ponies that stole his empire in the most horrible ways he can imagine. Celestia as always happily watches from afar keeping her hooves clean of the silliness her little ponies.

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This one is a bit odd... in a good way. I had a ton of fun writing it to the point that I almost wrote the epilogue before I wrote the main body. I laughed almost the whole time writing this and I hope that I can make other people laugh with it... until the laughing time is over and it is time to be sad... then you can laugh again, but then be sad, then happy... then laugh once more... not necessarily in that order.

The credits now will roll.
The Fluttershy Vector came from here
The Sombra Vector/background was found here
The inspiration comes from that old idea that one should face their enemies with kindness, thus "Killing them with Kindness"

Published 2014-03-27 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-28 21:16:15 UTC

The Greatest Weapon of all is Compassion

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Princess Celestia,

The girls and I have been talking. Ever since the redemption of Discord we have been discussing what other villains could be redeemed by Fluttershy’s kindness. We first considered the changelings, but having a swarm living in such close proximity would be quite problematic.

So we decided to experiment a little before venturing further. Under recommendation from the Cutie Mark Crusaders (here after referred to as ‘The CMC’) We started with a pair of fillies. I am happy to report that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have given up their bullying ways and become model citizens. The CMC were ecstatic. Bolstered by that success we went on to test our theories on more matured… goals.

To make a long story short we held a vote on who should be redeemed next and the majority voted for one Patricia “Trixie” Lulamoon. Suffice to say we met with another rousing success. However that may have been in part due to her already being on a self-imposed path to redemption.

We were on a roll at that point and moved on to two particularly ill-mannered shysters, Flim and Flam. The former con artists and tricksters are now happily selling free trade hammocks door to door.

Rainbow wants us to redeem Gilda next, but due to that griffin’s particular choices on her last visit to Ponyville, the rest of the girls and I decided to ignore her for now. It may seem out of character, but even though Rainbow is loyalty and Fluttershy says she is willing to forgive, I just don’t want to see what happens if Gilda eats another family of rabbits in front of her.

Alright back to my point, we as a group feel we are ready for the next step. The girls and I respectfully request that we be allowed to bring redeeming salvation to the war criminal Sombra.

Credibly yours,

Your Ever Faithful Student, Alicorn Princess Twilight “Pomp and Circumstance” Sparkle

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Are you truly certain Twilight? Sombra isn’t the kind of pony to be trifled with lightly.”

The elder Alicorn had raised a valid point, but her student was ready with her practiced rebuttal, “I know, but the girls and I have been preparing ever since you said you would consider granting our request. I have been casting protective spells and readying enchantments to limit Sombra’s power, Rainbow has been training in case she needs to evacuate Fluttershy, Pinkie helped Applejack with building an emergency shelter, Fluttershy has been practicing the Stare, and Rarity has been stockpiling gems in case the economy crashes. Which doesn’t make much sense… in fact we may have to have a talk with Rarity about priorities. So most of the girls and myself have been getting ready to make friends with Sombra or at least survive whatever apocalypse he brings.”

Celestia had to allow silence for a moment to wrap her head around Twilight’s run-on sentence. Even after many years as her teacher the senior princess still could not listen as quickly as Twilight could speak when the latter was excited about some experiment or another. Still she eventually managed to ready her reply.

“I see, now tell me Twilight, what is your true motivation behind all this work redeeming ponies?”

Twilight wore a rather frightening smirk when her mentor asked about her true impulses for her actions. A light chuckle escaped her lips before simply replying, “I am building an army to defend against the Crystal Empire’s inevitable invasion.”

Celestia was shocked to say the least. Had she really been so blind that she hadn’t seen the paranoia growing in her student’s heart, “I’m sorry Twilight, but could you repeat that?”

“Well I understand that now that I am a princess you will likely at some point grant me a kingdom to rule over and protect, or a fiefdom, city, country, democracy, tract of land, or some other form of monarchy.” In the midst of a slight pause the elder princess could not help but muse to herself, ‘Well it might end up being more like a hexarchy.’ “So I will need an army to defend my lands from my brother. After his marriage to Cadence and subsequent takeover of the Crystal Empire his power has become too great for me to have any hope of facing alone. So I will build an army of powerful friends.”

“Why do you think he will invade? That seems quite out of character for your brother, Twilight.”

The student raised an eyebrow in confusion at her teacher’s ignorance, but still kept her calm diplomatic demeanor when she replied only to eventually degrade into a light amount of hysteria, “Because he always invades my protectorates. Any book fort I built would be subjected to invasion, any time I moved to a new dorm while attending your school; he would conquer it within a week. For Luna’s sake, why do you think the Library behind me is flying a Crystal Empire flag?! I…Will…Not…Allow…My…Brother…To…Annex…Twilightopia!” After pausing to catch her breath her tone became meek as she finished, “Twilightopia might not really be my country’s name. The girls and I are still discussing it. It’s just a placeholder until we decide.”

Celestia had not heard that last part and was instead looking up at the branches of the Golden Oaks Library, where for some incomprehensible reason the flag of the Crystal Empire had been firmly planted in a sturdy bough. “All my little ponies have become crazy.”

Upon hearing those words from her princess Twilight’s eyes brightened, “Then you agree?! Don’t worry Princess I will not let you down. With my powerful army and Equestria as an ally, my brother will certainly fail!”

“Just promise me two things Twilight.”

It had seemed impossible but the would-be military leader’s expression managed to show even more excitement and joy at Celestia’s words. Her voice had even grown more passionate as she replied while rendering a sharp military salute, “Of course Princess! Ask what you wish of me and it will be done as you command.”

The aged alicorn nearly threw her right hoof into her forehead at her student’s enthusiasm, as it was she merely struck her face with just enough force that a bruise would begin to show that evening. As for that moment however Celestia had to lay down the law, “One, you are here by prohibited from preemptively attacking your brother. If I find that you have attacked the Crystal Empire I will revoke all rights and privileges that I have granted you over the years.”

Things had officially become serious, Twilight shuddered at her teacher’s words knowing that for all intents and purposes the most important privilege she would lose would be her near infinite admission to knowledge through her VIP all access pass to the Canterlot Royal Library. While to any other pony it really was just an ordinary library card a nervous nod prompted Celestia to continue.

“Two, you must promise me that no pony will die. Sombra by his very nature is a killer and any blood spilled will be on your equally responsible hooves. I have no doubt that you understand fully so without further protest I present the recently overthrown, former king, Sombra.”

A bubbling upheaval of dark magic from Celestia’s horn pooled on the ground before her and began furiously churning as her magic pulled a dark grey unicorn from the pool of black. As the magic slowly dissipated the stallion stood between the two princesses chuckling maliciously through his menacing teeth. “Well if you missed me so much you could have just asked me to visit.”

Standing beside Twilight outside Fluttershy’s cottage Sombra gently rubbed the back of his head. The spot he rubbed was the precise point where the young princess had repeatedly struck him with her hoof when he got out of line. Being deprived of his magic had crippled the tyrant, but it wouldn’t stop him from having his revenge at being treated like a dog who had misbehaved.

A gentle knock on the front door brought the meek yellow Pegasus inside to barely crack open the door after a long series of latches, chains, and deadbolts were opened leaving only one chain as a means of superficial protection. The hesitant mare looked out through the small opening and began quietly speaking, just loud enough that Sombra and his abuser could hear, “Oh, hello Twilight. Is it time already? I’m really not ready yet. Maybe we c-could post-postpone this… i-i-in-in-in-in-indefinitely… if, um if y-you d-d-don’t mind.”

As Twilight was about to roll her eyes at the tentative element of kindness she heard Sombra issue a low growl. It was a vicious snarl that sent the already frightened pony screaming to hide in her room. Still she managed to remember to slam the door shut and lock every available latch before her getaway and though her scream was louder than the volume of speech she had just used, the sound of Twilight’s hoof connecting with Sombra’s skull was still louder.

“Behave yourself Sombra, or I’ll make a thousand years of imprisonment in the frozen north seem like a walk in the park.”

The ancient unicorn hissed at his alicorn guard as she used her magic to quickly unlock and open the door and force him into the cottage. She then called out to her yellow friend, “I’ll just leave him here, I have breakfast plans with A.J. so I won’t be too far if you need help.” While it was true that she would be eating with Applejack, she herself was unaware that she would actually be sharing in a full Apple family meal with Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith sitting right alongside A.J. and herself. Then just before she was about to teleport to Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight remembered one last instruction for the shy Pegasus, “Oh and Fluttershy, try not to spam those chimes all day long over little things.”

“Chimes?” Sombra’s gravelly voice questioned the alicorn so quickly it might have seemed like he was interrupting. Twilight’s response was just as quick.

“Five, crystals attuned to Fluttershy so when she gets in trouble or needs help she can call for help from me or one of the other girls individually or in any combination up to and including all of us. So don’t get any foolish ideas.”

The dark unicorn chuckled as he responded, “I wouldn’t dream of it, princess.”

After only a few hours, Fluttershy managed to take the first steps of kindness toward the stallion who would become her newest friend. That first step was unlocking her bedroom door… very… slowly. She then managed the next few steps all in a row, opening the door, walking through it, stepping into the kitchen where Sombra was waiting, and finally speaking to him, “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. Is th-there anything I c-can do t-t-to help you feel more comfortable?”

Her fear of him was palpable and the stone grey stallion allowed himself a sinister grin at the thoughts running through his mind at what he could do to such a pathetic creature. Still he managed to keep that part of his thoughts to himself as he slid the kitchen knife through the onions on the board in front of him and replied, “Well you could tell me where you hide the carrots in this backwards kitchen of yours. One simply can’t make a proper carrot soup without them.” And when she came too close, he would happily slide the knife into the silly yellow pony.

Fluttershy nearly shrieked. Not out of fear for herself but fear for the unicorn holding the knife improperly in his hoof. With a movement that would make Rainbow dash jealous, Fluttershy put her hoof over Sombra’s so that instead of being able to stab her, he ended up with a deep six inch gash in his left foreleg.

Blood spilled to the counter and floor until a practiced hoof wrapped a towel tightly around the wound, “J-j-just stay c-c-c-c-c-c-c-calm and keep your hoof elevated while I g-g-get my first aid k-k-k-kit.” In a blink Fluttershy was gone and Sombra was along with his hoof in the air like some idiot school foal asking to use the lavatory. He then heard the loud scraping of metal on wood and with a glance he saw the yellow Pegasus dragging a brown suitcase with a red cross stitched to the top,

The case looked big enough to fit at least one and a half Fluttershies inside of it if it were empty. Still without his magic to heal himself, he needed this mare to at least put him back together before he stuffed her inside a case throw it into a lake. The one and only Fluttershy was oblivious as she expertly sutured the wound after cleaning it. The bandaging would come next, but not before she pressed her lips to the top stitch in an act of habit from years of caring for animals.

Less than an hour later, after cleaning most of the mess of blood in the kitchen, Fluttershy entered the sitting room carefully carrying a steaming bowl of carrot soup for her guest, “Be careful now, it’s very hot and I don’t want you to burn your tongue.”

Sombra of course had decided that now was his moment and when she got close enough he would push the soup into her face to distract her long enough for him to stomp on her throat until she drowned in her own blood. Of course that was not to be as when the Pegasus neared the couch she found herself tripping over the rug sending the exceedingly hot soup in an uneventful arch onto his uninjured forehoof.

One second degree burn and a bucket of ice later Sombra was again awaiting his chance to strike. The Pegasus mare had turned on the radio and made a large bowl of popcorn for them to share as they listened to a moving forty minute cello solo played by a mare that Fluttershy had called Octavia.

Still now as the shy pony seemed to drift to sleep beside him, Sombra saw his opening. No more tricks, no weapons, just a brutal beating until she stopped moving, right after one more hoof full of the popcorn to help give him strength.

It was at that last bite that he noticed the allergic reaction occurring on his right forehoof, itchy red sores distracted him long enough to make him take no notice of a particularly jagged unpopped kernel. That piece of corn managing to lodge itself in his trachea and as he found himself choking he succeeded at awakening the mare to his left.

Fluttershy flew into action, climbing readily behind the choking unicorn to wrap her fore hooves in front of his chest. She aggressively pulled back, successfully dislodging the corn and causing a violent spasm in one of his coronary arteries. While the corn only managed to bounce off the radio and back into his eye, Sombra’s heart certainly did not bouncing back so easily.

Fluttershy was off like a shot bringing a glass of water and a pair of tiny pills with her as she spoke, “Oh, p-p-p-please Mister Sombra, you have to calm down. Just relax and take these, I’ll get you to a doctor.”

Sombra took the pills without a word and threw back the glass of water. At first it seemed fine, but after brushing the corn out of his eye he began to feel a returning tightness in his chest. Coughing and wheezing tore open his stitches allowing blood to freely flow again. The anaphylaxis caused by his allergy to aspirin brought the heart attack back with a vengeance and the sudden movement sent Sombra’s bucket of ice water crashing to the floor. A concerned Fluttershy slipped in the water, causing her to both kick Sombra in the head on her way down as well as bump her own her on the floor stunning her for about two minutes.

With those two short minutes the now slightly stunned Sombra managed to stand only long enough to bleed all over Fluttershy and fall to the floor dead from a combination of lethal allergic reaction, blood loss, and a massive heart spasm that stopped the already diminished blood supply from supplying the heart itself.

Two minutes after Sombra’s death Fluttershy soaked in blood managed to activate all five of her emergency chimes.

First to arrive was Twilight, teleporting herself and Applejack into the cottage to find a now red Pegasus.

Next to walk in was Pinkie and upon seeing the bloodbath her mane deflated as she stumbled back in shock. Her backstep was quickly halted when she found Rainbow Dash with her retreating flank.

Dashie looked upon the carnage in the cottage with a confounded fascination. How could the kindest of ponies be involved with such a horror?

Rarity was the last to arrive and the first of the six to faint. Twilight of course rolled her eyes as she spoke to her macabre friend, “Alright Fluttershy, tell me what happened.”

“I killed somepony Twilight, I’m such a monster.”

“Well y’all didn’t do it on purpose did ya?” Fluttershy shook her head so hard that the blood in her hair was sprayed about the room and onto all five of her close friends. At that Applejack spoke again this time to Twilight, “Come on sugar cube, tain’t like she killed the Donkey Llama. Couldn’t y’all just look the other way?”

A brilliant golden flash heralded the entrance of Celestia and she spoke with thunder on her tongue, “Yes, tell us Princess Twilight Sparkle, can’t you just look the other way?”

Twilight fell hard on her flank at her teacher’s appearance, but still managed to shake off her fear and reply, “No A.J. we can’t ignore what happened here. However I am responsible and the punishment should be mine.” The youngest princess in the cottage was taken aback when Celestia’s expression suddenly softened into a caring smile when she spoke again.

“Dearest student, I have watched this whole scene unfold and it was by his own hoof and the cruel or perhaps somewhat merciful will of fate that Sombra has perished. You see he attempted to kill Fluttershy on several occasions this night, but each time his attempt came back against him. Fluttershy has no responsibility in this case and for that there will be no punishment.” The girls were about to cheer when their princess of the sun quieted them before continuing, “However I expressly told you Twilight that you would face consequences if Sombra killed anypony. But seeing as Sombra only succeeded in killing himself I will be lenient. Instead of one thousand years, banished to the evening star, I will be revoking your book club membership for ten weeks and banning you from all libraries in Equestria for five weeks, also I will be having a long talk with your parents about what you’ve done.

The youngest princess became the second to faint and never heard A.J. ask, “With all due respect yer highness, if y’all were watchin evrythin, why din’t ya stop Sombra or at least help Flutters?”

Celestia leaned close to Applejack’s ear and whispered, “I am your god and the threads of fate are mine to weave.” Another sudden burst of golden light signaled the disappearance of the sun goddess.

Slightly stunned, the farm pony still managed to speak to her friends“Well let’s get this mess cleaned up. Ah don’t know about the rest of y’all but ah ain’t waitin ‘til Pinkie’s party tonight to get mahself a good stiff drink or six.” Aside from Fluttershy, the conscious ponies began washing away the evidence, ignoring the sniffling mare with the bloodstained mane. In spite of her princess’s words and the kindness of her friends, she still felt responsible for Sombra’s final curtain call. And would continue to feel responsible for quite some time.

Ignoring the quiet sobs, Applejack sighed heavily before leaning down and whispering to the unconscious Twilight, “Happy birthday Twah, sorry your twenty-first couldn’t have gone more smooth for ya. Ah’ll think of a really great present to make up fer y’all losin yer books.”

Author's Note

Okay here is the comedy story I’ve been working on for a while yeah I suppose I could have put this in the description but I have a couple things I want to convey here rather than in full view of folks who haven’t read the story yet.

For those of y'all who want more, I already have an epilogue written, I just need to do some proof reading and cleanup work. It should be up within a couple days... unless y'all are future people.

For those of y'all who want less... um... don’t read the epilogue? Then unread what you have read?

For those of y'all unsatisfied with just one short continuation, I have considered writing alternate endings. Specifically other ways for Sombra to die... yeah I am a twisted individual however for that all to work I’ll need folks requesting methods of PG-13 death...

For those who are wondering how Twilight and AJ got a main character tag… read the epilogue. Same for the Romance tag.

For those of y'all wondering about Twilight’s middle name and/or the fact that she called herself “Alicorn Princess” I have to split the answer into two parts... One I like giving ridiculous middle names to characters or other alterations to their names... Y’all should see the one I just thought up for Derpy... Second the Alicorn Princess thing is mostly because it seemed funny to me that Twilight might sign her letters that way and if I stop having fun writing I’ll probably just quit writing entirely... That won’t happen, I love y’all too much.

For those of y'all needing a translation for A.J.’s lines, just ask and I’ll see what I can do... after I laugh... at myself.

For those of y'all wondering about the Donkey Llama, it is in fact a play on the Dalai Lama, but in this case it gets to be a strange donkey/llama hybrid instead of a Tibetan Buddhist... My apologies to any Buddhists out there, I do not mean to offend... in this particular case. I promise I’ll offend y’all on a later date.

For those of y'all reading too far into this story... DON’T! It’s very simple; there is no subtext, no hidden meaning, and certainly no moral. This is just a shallow little piece of literature that I wrote because it seemed amusing to me. My amusement is complete!

For those of y'all who want me to stop saying, “for those of y'all,” too bad.

For those of... actually I think I’m done here... yep, cue the end credits.

~ So hath proclaimed the writer Mayhew Cullen and as it is in his mind, so it shall be. ~

Love is Best Grown with Sunshine & Sincerity

Twilight glared daggers at her kindest friend while Shining Armor and a group of his soldiers laughed and chatted over a quickly emptying platter of nachos being healthily washed down with a rather rare vintage of Sweet Apple Acres Cider. The nachos were one thing, but the cider had been a birthday present from Applejack.

Just as Twilight was about to yell at her friend she was interrupted by her B.B.W.F.F., “Hey Twily, could you get that dragon of yours to make some more nachos? They’re really good.”

Twilight was quick with a crass reply hoping that it stung him deeper than the javelin she wanted to put inside of him, “Hey Big Brother Worst Friend Forever, could you die in a fire? It would at least be worth the loss of my cider.”

To say the least her five closest friends were shocked but none more so than Fluttershy who managed to ask, “b-b-but Twilight, what happened to big brother best friend forever? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“That was back when he was my only friend and before he claimed my bedroom in the name of the Shining Republic when I was four. He was then demoted to Big Brother Second Best Friend Forever, under Smarty Pants, who was actually my L.S.S.P.B.F.F. which naturally stands for Little Stuffed Study Partner Best Friend Forever. Then when he read my diary after annexing my first dorm room at Celestia’s school he made provisions that if I were to tell any friends about him he should always be referred to as ‘B.B.B.F.F.’. If I didn’t he would take Smarty as a prisoner of war. Do you have any idea what they do to prisoners of war? Especially the ones with really pretty manes?”

“N-n-n-no… I’m sorry.”

“Of course you don’t! And sorry doesn’t really cut it. I can’t believe that the only pony I know with a body count, can’t even put up a fight to protect one little castle from my brother and his drinking buddies. If you had made friends with Sombra instead of killing him we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Now, y’all better calm down fore y’all hurt somepony’s feelins sugar cube.” Anger and hate immediately melted into sadness as a now sobbing purple alicorn replied.

“But A.J. that was your first barrel of hard cider ever. You said you hoofpicked and hoof pressed every apple yourself. You told me how Granny Smith, um… how did you put it?”

“Ah said that she tanned mah hide something fierce,” Applejack added with a smile as she thought back to her youthful adventure.

“Right, because you were just fourteen years old and hiding away in your tree house brewing alcoholic cider. Then when she tasted it she helped you finish it and seal it up tight until you were twenty-one so you could drink it because she said it was the best cider she ever had. Then you didn’t because you gave it to me on my twenty-first birthday as a belated coronation slash birthday gift. Then even though Rainbow wanted to open it right there I said we had to wait until you and I were eighty so we could drink it all ourselves and get really drunk and embarrass our grandfoals.”

“Yup, and even though that was yer first time drinking y’all were drunk enough to profess yer undying love fer me. Course ah was sure all y’all were too drunk to remember when I replied in kind.”

Rainbow Dash was the first to interject, “Phbt! Just cause I drink faster than anypony in Equestria it doesn’t mean I can’t hold my booze. After all if I’m gonna be your best mare I’ll need to stay sober enough to keep you out of trouble at the bachelor party.”

Next was Pinkie, “Which I’ve had planned along with your wedding reception for years!”

Then Rarity, “I’ve been making adjustments to Twilight’s wedding dress at least twice a month since that night.”

After that it was Fluttershy’s turn, “I’m sorry, I was already passed out on the couch by then, but Rarity told me about it during our next spa day, so that was when I started teaching my birds to sing traditional wedding songs for Twilight’s procession and your first dance.”

Finally Twilight had her chance as she stared at here hooves while drawing invisible lines on the stone floor with the tip of one of those hooves, “I’ve been waiting for a ring this whole time, but I guess if you don’t…”

Twilight had begun to sob yet again when her brother spoke over her quiet sniffles, “Yo Twily, your filly fooling is cute and all but about those nachos, your benevolent conqueror has an army to feed.”

Dry sobs instantly turned to a river of tears as Twilight ran from the throne room followed only by the cruel laughter of her brother and his men.

Applejack turned on Shining in an instant and was about to buck his teeth to the back of his skull when she was stopped by an oddly still smiling Pinkie who spoke quickly to her alleged fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, “I thought something like this would happen so I secretly traded Twilight’s special cider with one of those barrels of garbage that Flim and Flam made and hid Twi’s cider so her brother could never find it. I don’t like it when my friends cry, so you should tell her the truth so she doesn’t have to be sad. Dashie, Flutter, Rares and I will take out the trash.”

“You sure y’all can handle them? Even with Twi’s army we didn’t stand a chance.”

“That was when it was just a game silly, then they stole my friend’s smile. You’re going to give it back to her.”

“We’ll clear this room in ten seconds flat.”

“These interlopers really do clash with Twilight’s color scheme, so making a few revisions to the décor will be my pleasure.”

“Well, um, I guess I should make up for killing Sombra… if you think that would be okay.”

Applejack stared at her friends for a moment before putting on a smile of her own and nodding her approval, “Well y’all better not have too much fun without me.” At that she was gone, sprinting through Twilight’s castle looking for her favorite princess.

While the sounds of battle rang through the nearly empty fortress, only one sound mattered to Applejack. She heard the weeping alicorn plain as day as she neared Twilight’s private chambers. After nocking and hearing no reply other than the continued sobs the orange earth pony pushed open the door and scanned the room.

The bed was empty, completely empty. Even the sheets had been removed, but as AJ continued searching she found the bedding, a multitude of books that had been missing from the shelves and the prettiest purple pony she had ever known that was hiding under them.

“Well shoot sugar cube, ah’d say that must be a record. Ah ain’t ever seen you raise a book barn so quick.”

“It’s a book fort. Now go away AJ. I just want to be alone until Shiny comes to invade here too.”

“Now stop right there Princess Sugarcube, what kind of knight protector would ah be if ah let some tyrant run amuck all over milady’s precious fort?” At that statement the self-proclaimed knight protector sat flatly in front of the fort’s entrance, keeping her eyes fixed to the door on the lookout for possible invaders. She smiled to herself when Twilight replied.

“Well fat lot of good you did with a whole army at your back, Miss Protector.”

“Ah’ll admit that it was mostly mah fault, well mine and Pinkie’s faults. To her at least it was just a game and ah never took any of it serious. Even now ah think that Shinin Armor just thinks he’s teasin ya, but it took a little help from Pinkie to help me realize what he’d done to ya and that's why right now ah’m more than serious about keepin mah princess safe.”

“Something about smiles or laughter right?” Twilight’s tone had become rather cynical.

“Yup and ah’m supposed to tell you all sorts of things she wants you to hear so that y’all can smile again.” Applejack couldn’t see the alicorn roll her eyes but took the silence as an indicator that she could continue, “First, Pinkie managed to hide that special cider barrel so Shining couldn’t find it. So that’s safe and sound for us when y’all and ah are old an’ grey.”

Twilight’s voice seemed smaller as she poked her head out from under her comforter, “What do you mean us? It’s not like we’re going to have any grandfoals to embarrass when we get drunk.”

“Well ah hope that ain’t true. It would be awful humiliatin if our own foals couldn’t manage one a the few simple things an Apple ought to be good at.”

“A.J.? Is that some backwards Apple family way of asking if I’ll be your marefriend? If so, why didn’t you ask me sooner?”

“Ah suppose it is, but ah’ll admit that ah’ve always thought ah was never good enough for some pony as wonderful as y’all. So ah never told ya out a fear a hurtin our friendship. Guess ah really am just a dumb old farm pony.”

Twilight’s glared, her eyes shown with an obvious anger at her friend’s previous statement. Irritation laced the lavender alicorn’s tone as she spoke, “Jackie Susan Apple, you are many things, stubborn, brutally honest, and no pony would say you have the best table manners, but if I ever hear you call yourself dumb again I’ll kick your flank so hard your cutie mark will fall off.” Then in a sudden turn her speech became playful, “Also if you truly intend to court me, I will need a sign that I am off the market for anypony else but you.”

At that the door began to creep open revealing a visibly exhausted Shining Armor.

“Well ah don’t have a ring just yet, but ah’ll tell ya what.” Applejack lifted her prized Stetson from her head and carefully placed it on to Twilight’s. She then turned back to the slowly advancing Stallion before continuing, “Why don’t y’all hang on to mah hat until ah find a proper ring fer the smartest, most purty mare in Equestria.”

Twilight stifled a laugh as she replied, “really? We haven’t even gone out once yet and you already found some pony to cheat on me with?” Still in spite of her joking Twilight could only feel loved by the mare who trusted her with such a sentimentally valuable gift.

“Shoot sugar cube an’ here ah thought librarians were smart. Oh well, least y’all still make up fer it by bein mighty cute. Also would ya mind terribly remindin me to thank Pinkie for letting me give yer brother a good swift kick?” The fatigued unicorn continued advancing now showing anger in his eyes having just seen his sister begin to giggle.

That was his job, he was supposed to be the one who made his sister smile, not these other ponies. Now she was outright ignoring him right along with her ignorant farm pony friend that thought she could beat him, “Stop ignoring me!” He shouted at nopony in particular and would have gone on if it weren’t for the sound of cracking ribs caused by two expertly placed hind hooves sending him flying back through the open door and an open window just beyond it.

In spite of her dislike of the pony’s actions, A.J. turned around and rushed forward to look out the window in fear that she had become the second of Twilight’s friends to kill somepony. Unexpectedly right below her a giant bowl of chocolate pudding was being stirred by one Pinkamena Diane Pie while a white unicorn and a pair of Pegasi were helping Shining Armor out of the dessert only to have a familiar pink alicorn push him back in. Other than the stallion, everypony wore a smile when they looked up to the window to wave. They began to cheer when Twilight’s hatted head came into view to give her knight a firm but loving kiss. The hooting and hollering only grew when the couple suddenly moved below the window’s opening, falling out of sight, but certainly not out of mind.

Alone and unobserved the pair in the castle continued their naive play, “My hero. How can I ever thank you?” The princess spoke with a smile.

And with a gentle reply her knight spoke, “All in mah line a duty, Princess Sugarcube. Yer happiness is all the reward ah need.”

Author's Note

While it may seem that I am implying that Twilight is the youngest, that is only partially true. Pinkie is younger than Twi and was only getting drunk on non-alcoholic cider... because Pinkie is Pinkie... Dashie is the youngest, however as a joke Rarity(the oldest) had been sneaking booze to an underage Rainbow since Dashie was seventeen. Thus the powerful underage tolerance to alcohol...and evidence of Rarity's inherent irresponsibility.

In my head canon Jackie Susan Apple is Applejack’s full name, however it is only ever used when A.J. is misbehaving and she needs to be scolded. I originally found the name here... Check out his other stuff it’s all pretty neat...

Speaking of names, Princess Sugarcube sounded just cute enough to be a good pet name.hhh

Fluttershy is still guilty of murder... at least in most of her friends eyes. It really just became a joke that they all take a little far sometimes to the point of occasionally thinking of her as an actual killer... Fluttershy is okay with it because she really does still feel responsible for Sombra's death.

I’ve been writing too much... not like I’m spending too much time writing, because I love every minute I have time to sit down and write. I mean the fact that after I got to where I finished, then I just kept writing until it became sad... I didn’t want to write this one sad. So it meant cutting six hundred fifty words... If I get enough feedback requesting it I’ll tack it on in another chapter.

Speaking of feedback, in addition to Sombra death extras I am also willing to make alternate endings for Shining’s flight out of the window and I may also be willing to at some point write the fight scene between Pinkie-Dash-Rare-Shy and The Shiny Brigade...

So I will be switching this into Complete but don't feel too disheartened if you do want to see more. I'll still add more in spite of that.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.