Alabastards

"You're supposed to be shuffling them, not playing with them." Lieutenant Sea Cay said across the green felt table to the captain. Sea Cay was a pegasus with a yellow mane and beige fur. His eyes were a dull green. He grew up on a small coastal island in a banana plantation village. He was a brilliant navigator. You could plop him anywhere in Equestria and he'd be able to find his way. That was, until you put a map in his hooves.

"Whatever. We're still waiting on Camisa Roja anyway." Shining Armor said, adding the last couple of cards to the apex of his tabletop structure. Just as he was setting it in place, Sergeant Aegis kicked the bottom of the table with his hoof, causing all the cards to fall in a heap. "Hey!"

"Oops." Aegis deadpanned. "Now shuffle. I'm tired of waiting. We can deal him in when he gets here."

"I'm sorry, did you get a promotion while I wasn't looking? I hadn't realized that you were giving the orders now." Shining said as he begrudgingly gathered up the cards and began to shuffle.

"Hey, rule number one." Aegis said, pointing at the sign over the doorway to the bar.

Within these walls, there is no rank.

"Hmf. No wonder why this is your favorite place. I bet just you love that rule." Shining said.

"Not as much as I looove you, sugar buns." Aegis reached over, flicking Shining's ear. "Come on, deal 'em." Sergeant Aegis was just an earth pony cadet in the guard when Shining Armor commissioned to a become an officer. Before then, Shining was enlisted himself. His peers agreed that prior enlisted experience made a better officer. Aegis had no such plans. He planned on becoming a senior enlisted from day one. His tan fur and olive mane gave him a much more hard-boiled appearance. And everypony under him knew for certain that he was a tough-as-nails, no-nonsense military machine. Those above him knew better. He was a different pony on the inside. Somewhere. Probably.

"All right boys, the game is Appaloosan Hold'em. Put your blinds in." Shining instructed. The others threw in a couple bits to start off the night.

"Hey everypony, I'm here!" Camisa called from the doorway.

The group put their cards down and looked to the door as the junior enlisted walked in. "Oh good. He didn't die." Sea Cay said sarcastically. Camisa Rosa was just about the unluckiest pony in history. His personnel file showed that he was born on a Friday the thirteenth. Rumor had it that when he was born, it was under a ladder while his mother held an open umbrella indoors, as a black cat crossed in front of her, knocking over and breaking a mirror while spilling salt. It was almost a weekly occurrence that he would nearly come to an early demise. Others argued that his luck was karmic counterbalance to being a pony of one of the richest families in a city full of rich ponies. As the yellow furred earth pony sat at the table, he brushed his messy orange mane from his eyes. Aegis greeted him.

"Hey kid. You want a cider?" He asked.

"Sure!" Camisa's eyes lit up.

"They're over at the bar. Get me one too." The sarge said.

"Okay!" He stood back up to head over to the bar obediently.

"Me too."
"Me too." The officers said in stereo.

As he made his way to the bar, the chandelier fell from the ceiling. The sharp spire at the bottom impaled the wooden floor behind him, missing by a hair's width. The group jumped at the sudden crash. Camisa turned and looked at the fallen light fixture and carried on as if nothing had happened, used to such things now.

"Damn Camisa, you're like a damn accident magnet!"

"What can I say? I've got nine lives." He chuckled, paying for the drinks.

"Shit, more like nine hundred by now." Sea Cay said, turning back to the others at the table. "Remind me again why we keep hanging out with him?" He whispered.

"Because he's loaded, buying our drinks, and he can't bluff worth a shit." Shining answered quietly. The others nodded. After a moment, Camisa returned with their drinks, hoping to slowly buy his way into their circle of friendship. And in all fairness, it'd been working so far.

"So, what's the game tonight?" He asked, taking his seat.

"Well right now it's the waiting game for you." Shining said "We've already dealt. So just be quiet."

"I can be the dealer!" He said.

"Already with the not-being-quiet." Aegis barked. "He just said we already dealt." Aegis "Just drink your drink."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Sea Cay asked knowingly. All three of them knew that once he'd had a few, Camisa would get a terrible case of verbal diarrhea.

"Meh, it'll make it not hurt so much when I clobber him later." Aegis said.

"Hey!" Camisa said. Aegis gave him a glare, raising his hoof at him aggressively. "Okay" He mouthed, putting a hoof across his lips in a zipper motion, sipping his cider in silence.

The bid came back around to Shining, who tapped the table, indicating a 'check'.

"A check. Oooooh." Sea Cay feigned shock. Shining laid the first three cards on the table. Aegis raised. Shining called. Sea Cay folded.

"Hmmm, let me use my magic..." Aegis said theatrically, closing his eyes and putting a hoof to his hornless forehead. "I see a two and a four, off suit." Sea Cay just crossed his hooves. His face was expressionless. "And for the captain..." Shining Armor pushed a hoof full of bits forward. Aegis squinted for a moment, trying to get into his head. That much money this early in the night probably meant he had no better than a couple of face cards. And as much as he loved taking the Captain's money... "Eh, screw it. I'm out." Aegis pushed his cards. "So what did you have?" He asked as Shining gathered up the cards.

"So sorry," he said, passing them to Sea Cay to shuffle, "I seem to have forgotten." He smiled.

As the night wore on, the biggest pile of bits moved around the table. Starting with Camisa in the beginning as usual. Then, predictable he lost the bulk of it to the others. They let him win a few small 'pity pots' as they called them, to keep him from becoming completely discouraged from coming back next week with more bits and cider money.

By the end of the night, the other three had a fairly even split, and Camisa was down to his last two bits, waxing philosophic.

"... so I guess the moral is, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. But who even does that? A gift horse? Is that even legal? Why would you look in their mouth?"

"It's your bet." Sea Cay reminded him.

"I'M ALL IN!" Camisa pushed his last two bits into the middle of the table. The others called. Camisa swayed in his chair, a bit off balance.

"Here, let me get those for you." Shining said, flipping his cards. "Oh, wow. A flush!" Shining pushed the eight meager bits toward Camisa.

"I WIN!" He shouted triumphantly, and proceeded to fall backwards out of his chair, unconscious before he even hit the floor.

"Alright guys, wrap it up." The barkeep said, indicating last call.

"Well I guess that does it." Shining said, collecting his share. "You got him?"

"Yeah, yeah." Aegis said, slinging the passed-out pony over his back. Outside, the group made their separate ways home. The others had never been to Shining's home. Nor would he ever let them. None could know the terrible truth about the Captain they all respected. That at the end of the day, he still lived with his parents.

The streets of Canterlot were lit well enough along the route to his home. But there was a fog on this cool evening. Combined with his less-than-sober state of mind, he found himself in unfamiliar territory. He peered through the haze, both physical and mental, seeking some kind of sign or familiar landmark. His salvation from disorientation came instead from an unexpected source.

One of night guards patrolling the sky must have spotted the wayward drunk. He appeared before the unicorn from out of the night sky, but before accosting him, he recognized the captain.

"Captain Armor, the Princess needs you right away!" He told him without pretense.

"Princess Luna has her own guards. I'm off duty." Shining said, still trying to figure out which way he should be headed.

"Not Luna, Princess Celestia! She asked for you by name sir!" The guard said.

"Really?"

"Yes sir! She said it was urgent!" Shining could hear the words of the Royal Guard oath echoing in the back of his mind. Service before self. He groaned and nodded.

"Okay, where is she?"

"This way sir. Follow me!" Shining followed the pegasus on hoof. After passing a few of the taller buildings that had been obscuring his view, Canterlot Castle came into view. From the angle he was looking at it, he had a rough idea of where they were in the city. It was curious how he'd managed to get all the way over here though.

The physical exertion sharpened his senses, giving him a feeling of sobriety. Deep down he knew it was a fallacy of thinking, and in truth, the only thing that would rid his system of the alcohol was time. And if he didn't re hydrate after all this sweating, his hangover would be all the more fierce in the morning.

Soon, they were back on more familiar grounds. His mental map was a few hubs of regular visit. From each, spokes of the most direct routes to one another. But in between the well tread paths were large gaps of unexplored parts of the city for him. Sure, he had some idea of what was there, even the names of the major thoroughfares therein. But having never been there before, he had no visual reference points. This concept was a foreign one for the pegasi corps. Masters of all they surveyed, they had the added advantage of the third dimension on their side.

Years of conditioned running got them to the castle in very little time. The outer perimeter had the standard night patrol of pegasi and unicorns alike, as well as Luna's night guard. Soon it would be entirely Luna's guard. But this was a time of transition after all. Everypony was very happy for the Princess of the Night's return. But there were logistical hurdles to be overcome when switching from the stable monarchy that they were accustomed to, to the new, two princesses ruling.

And of course, there was the matter of the Lunar Guard themselves. Bat ponies all. The bat ponies weren't so different from normal pegasi. The main differences being their wings were leathery skin, not feathers, their ears were bigger, and more pointy, with long tufts of fur at the tips, and their eyes. Their eyes were slit like a cats. And of course, there were the fangs.

Shining's hair on his neck stood up when one smiled at him as he passed.

Princess Luna did not make the resident royal guard privy to the origin of them. And the bat ponies themselves were forbade by the moon reagent to divulge such information. Celestia assured her officers under her that they were of no threat. It was not a ploy at overthrowing the throne through some elaborate subterfuge. She insisted that the secrecy surrounding them was simply Luna's coy attempt at being mysterious, as was always her way.

But that was only the start of the problems. Luna had insisted that her guard be bat ponies. But in addition, they were all mares, except for her two personal bodyguards. Before Princess Luna's return, the Royal Guard had contemplated the idea of integrating both genders into its ranks. And now the issue was foisted upon them en mass.

Any doubt as to their ability to perform the required tasks were instantly quashed when Luna had them perform all of the qualifying obstacle work and physical benchmarks of the stallion counterpart. All either met or exceeded the requirements. In fact, most exceeded. Shining pitied the thug who dared to tangle with one of these fem fatale of the night.

Even before, with an all-stallion force, there were no rules against those enlisting who were of a, say, alternative lifestyle. As such, there were strict rules against fraternization within the ranks. But what was once an annual reminder briefing became a monthly all-call. And it was at least a weekly reminder when taking role now.

Gentlecolts, please stop flirting with the night guard.

There were severe repercussions for any infractions. Even so, there were still incidents at an alarming regularity. To their defense, bat ponies did not experience estrus like normal ponies. There was no excuse for them to 'become overwhelmed by their urges'. On the other side of the fence, well, as they say, colts will be colts. But that never held up in a Court Marshall.

It was happening much less often now though. Once the system had ferreted out the few bad apples, as it were. Or, more likely, they'd been getting better at hiding their relationships. Shining was realistic, and knew that the latter was far more likely. But as far as he was concerned, if nopony was getting hurt, and he didn't see it, it was not his concern. He had enough paperwork do deal with as it was.

And now there was this.

Shining groaned as he entered the doorway into the main entrance of the castle. It seemed like he was just here. Albeit six hours ago, but still, it was Friday night. Though by the looks of the moon, it was already after midnight. It was so late it was early. Early Saturday morning. And he was sweaty from running through the city, now walking the dark halls of Canterlot Castle.

It wasn't the first time he'd been in the castle after hours. When Princess Celestia had disappeared on the night before the Summer Sun Celebration last year, there was a massive search party that he had to head up. Of course they know now that it was the herald of Luna's return. But at the time it was really quite scary for them all.

Night in the Castle was something he'd actively avoided though, then and now still. It wasn't fear per se. He'd been in most every part of the castle before, many times. He knew the layout like the back of his hoof. But there was just something different about it at night. That sort of uncanny, unfamiliar familiar.

He took a right turn to the throne room. His pegasus escort turned left. He stopped, and looked at the pegasus.

"This way sir." He told Shining.

"Is she not in the throne room?" Shining asked. The pegasus shook his head.

"Princess Luna is residing over the night court currently. Princess Celestia is this way." Shining followed after the pegasus down the hallway, in the opposite direction of the throne. Suddenly his escort stopped.

"What's wrong?" Shining asked.

"By orders, this is as far as I am permitted to go." He said, motioning forward. "She is around the corner, waiting for you in the room on the left." Shining's mental map unfurled in his mind. He knew where she was. She was in her personal chambers. Up until this point, he'd been running on an automated pre-programming, hardwired by his training. Simply doing, without stopping to question why. That is until now.

"This is very unusual." Shining said. "Did she say what the nature of the matter was?"

"I'm afraid I'm on a strict need-to-know basis with this assignment, sir. I was not privileged to the details beyond what was required of me. And my involvement in the matter ends here." He said, before doing an about-face, dashing back down the hallway toward the castle entrance.

Shining stood there a moment, unsure of what to do. It was an unusual experience, for one who was usually a stallion of action, to be at a loss of how to act on this. His time as a cadet had given him a healthy paranoia for these sort of things. His gut was telling him that this was all an elaborate ruse to get him to entreat on the princess's personal chambers as she slept, thereby landing him in hot water at the amusement of all.

But he pushed such worries from his mind. It had been a long time since the academy. The pony, or ponies pulling a stunt like this on an officer of his rank would have to have a pretty big pair of stones. Most likely in their head where a brain ought to be. Shining walked forward, toward Celestia's chambers.

He turned the corner of the hallway. Just beyond was the doors to Celestia's private quarters. Her personal guards were markedly absent from their post outside her doors. Though closed, a sliver of light from just under them cut across the floor of the hall, illuminating a patch in front of her entrance. It was like a glowing welcome mat in the otherwise dim hallway. As he walked in front of the door, the tips of his blue hooves were aglow as they cut swaths of shadow into the floor. He brought a hoof to her door to knock, pausing for just a second.

It was not fear that gripped him, but excitement. The princess had requested him by name. Clearly this was an important matter to herald him at this hour. The light from under the door wavered ever so slightly. He heard the softest of noises from beyond the door, movement for sure. Her light was on. She was clearly awake. He steeled his nerves and gave the door a solid rap.

"Your Highness. Captain Shining Armor reporting!" He said confidently. He waited a moment. There was no response. He took a silent breath. He carefully counted the seconds, contemplating whether or not he should knock again and repeat himself. No, he decided. He was quite clear when he spoke. If she was in there, she had heard him. Perhaps she needed another moment. Perhaps she was eating and was unable to respond right away. Perhaps-

-click-

The doorknob turned almost imperceptibly. The bolt, just barely sliding free of the strike plate on the frame. It shifted but a few hairs width, but move it did.

"Your Highness?" He called again. Still nothing. After a moment more of dead silence, he put his hoof to the door, applying the slightest of pressure. The perfectly hung door hinge opened in slow, steady silence. He'd only ever caught glimpses of the interior in passing when Princess Celestia was just finishing her day court and retiring for the evening. The lavish space was filled with ornate pieces of antiquity. Artifacts from pony civilizations, whose name was now forever lost to the sands of time. The sheer size of the room rivaled that of the square footage of entire homes for some.

The centerpiece, of course, was her massive canopy bed. The wood was hoof carved by artisans centuries ago. The craftsmanship standing the test of time. The carving in turn was covered in gold leafing. And the bedding itself, a rich purple quilting, plush and full. It looked like it would be like sleeping on a cloud. He took another step inside the room, looking around. Princess Celestia was nowhere to be seen.

"Princess?" He said again, as he walked into the room. His eyes caught a glimmer from the bed. The air shimmered and waved. Out of nowhere a white hoof appeared, seemingly from thin air! The hoof pushed aside the shimmer like a drape. Shining understood now. They were magic invisibility curtains surrounding her bed frame. Pulling them back fully, Celestia revealed herself on the bed, unclad of her usual gold accouterments and helm of office. She looked- bare.

"I did not give you permission to enter." She said in a neutral tone. Shining bowed immediately in her presence.

"A thousand apologies Your Highness!" He said, keeping his eyes averted to the floor. He quickly back peddled towards the door to make a fast exit. Celestia magically closed the doors with a solid -thud- before he could reach them, halting his retreat.

"Nor have I dismissed you." She said. Her smirk went unseen by the penitent stallion. "Captain." He hazarded a glance upward from his bowed position. Celestia gave him a 'rise' motion with her hoof. Shining snapped to attention. Back straight and eyes forward. "At ease solider." She said, smiling. "You're off duty after all."

"I am a Royal Guard twenty four seven." He said proudly.

"And I feel very safe knowing I have such dedicated guard ponies looking after my well-being." She said, shifting herself on the covers. "But it is not in that capacity for which I've called upon you this evening." She purred. She waved him over to her with her hoof. Shining saw the gesture but pretended he did not. He didn't want to risk misinterpreting her signals. Celestia could see the indecision in his face. So she spelled it out for him to ensure that she was crystal clear of her direction. "Approach me."

Shining did as he was told, closing the distance between himself and the edge of the bed by exactly half. Enough to fulfill the requirement of her command but still a safe distance away in case of the contrary. Celestia was clearly unsatisfied. "Ah ah." She scolded with a shake of her head. "All the way." She said. "Ah. Proach. Me." Shining took a few more steps, standing at the very edge of the bed. His shins barely grazed the skirting of the mattress.

There he stood, awaiting whatever it was she wanted to tell him. She looked down at the spacious bedding beside her. His eyes followed hers as she patted the bedding with her hoof. Shining stood fast where he was. "Captain." She locked eyes with him. "I will not repeat myself again." She said, patting the bed once more. He gulped and slowly extended a hoof up to the bed, stopping for just a second, checking the bottom to make sure it was clean. It looked so, but he gave it a solid couple of taps on the floor to be sure.

"My patience is wearing thin." She said. Shining stepped up onto the bed, sitting beside her. He found it difficult to concentrate. The pounding of his heart in his ears was very distracting. He prayed that she could not hear it. "Ah, that's better." She said. However, she could see the discomfort of the stallion beside her. "Here," she said, "why don't you get more comfortable?" She pulled back the covers from under him in a single, deft tug of her magic.

The sheets were silky smooth against his fur. He became increasingly confused as she began to tuck him in under her blanket, even as she remained on top of them on her side of the bed. There was certainly something maternal about the act. Though he could not fully appreciate the sentiment in that moment. This was her bed after all. He was IN Princess Celestia's bed. He was being tucked in by the princess of Equestria!

"I imagine you must feel quite confused." She said. He could only nod in response. "Fear not. I will make everything quite clear to you soon." She took hold of the blanket's corners, pulling it tight across his chest, and tucking them firmly under the edges of the mattress. She slinked across the top of the covers and slipped a leg over him, sitting up as she straddled his hips. Even through the thick material, he could feel the heat radiating from her loins. Shining was silently grateful that his metal armor uniform would keep her from feeling-

Shining suddenly became acutely aware that he was not before the princess in any official capacity. He'd been pulled from his drunken stagger homeward and was without any coverings, save for the duvet as the only barrier between them. "Mmmm." Celestia purred, as she rolled her hips slightly as she ground into him. There was no disguising what it was she could feel harden between them. His excitement was quite clearly evident.

"What do you think of me Shining?" Celestia asked. "A benevolent Princess? A beautiful goddess? What do you really think of me?" Shining's mouth went dry. Words failed him. A beauty, a princess, a goddess indeed! She was all these things, he thought. But he found speech eluding him. What words were there? Were there even words that existed, that could ever exist to describe her?

"Please Shining, speak freely." She said "I would be most offended if you did not." He certainly didn't want that.

"B- beautiful, yes!" Shining started. "G- good mane and fur and warm." He stammered. He would have smacked himself in the face with his hoof if it were not pinned to his sides under the taught covers.

"It's okay my dear." She said in an encouraging, maternal tone. "Take a breath and relax." Shining focused on trying to steady his breathing. She smiled warmly from on top of him and ran a hoof through her mane, flourishing it for him. "Do you really think me beautiful?" She asked, fishing for compliments.

"Y- Yes! Very!" He said, more clearly now.

"A fair ruler? A benevolent Princess?"

"Yes Your Highness!" He answered.

"No more of those titles. Call me Tia."

"Yes... Tia." He said firmly. Her eyes ran over his form under her. She ran a hoof down his chest, feeling the firm muscles of the guard pony.

"Hmm... So obedient." She mused to herself. "Would you really give your life defending mine?"

"Of course Your Hi- I mean, Tia. Any one of us would."

"Do you really think of me as a goddess?"

"Yes."

"Would you- could you think of me as a..." Her face turned the faintest shade of pink. "...as a mare?" She asked. Shining was confused for a moment. A mare? Of course. Everything about her was the very essence of the feminine. She could see the confusion on his face. "I mean, as a mare, and only." She said. She looked off, to some distant point and sighed. "I'm no goddess Shining Armor. I am a mare just like any other. I am not made of light or magic but flesh and blood. I eat when I hunger, I sleep when I tire. I am a mare with wants-" She looked him deeply in the eyes. " and needs." She said, putting extra emphasis on the last word. He felt her hoof finish its slow journey down his chest, now gently teasing the tip of his member through the blanket.

"Nnngh" He grunted as her other hoof joined in, running up and down his shaft. She knew exactly how to touch him. She pressed and applied pressure in just the right places. The blanket served as a soft medium between the pad of her hoof and the ridges of his stiff cock.

"Hmm, my sworn protector..." She said as she continued to run her hooves over him. "You've served me so well for so long. It is only fitting that I serve you in turn." She smiled. He could feel her rocking her hips, rubbing herself into his lap. One of her hooves left his attention for a moment to attend to her own rising need. He craned his neck but couldn't quite see. Her hoof obstructed what little view he would have had anyway. His disappointment was short lived however, as her hoof, now wet with her desire, came up from between her thighs, dabbing his nose gently. He reveled in her musk, now flooding his senses.

His member began to swell and throb under her ministrations. With each moment of her caressing touch he grew unbelievably hard. His vision began to fade. She was getting him very close to orgasm. Maybe it was the lack of blood flow to his brain now, but something was pulling away his consciousness. And it seemed that the harder he tried to hold on, the faster he seemed to slip away. He could no longer make out the edges of the white figure on him. She diffused into a bright blur, growing brighter with each passing second. It hurt to look directly at her. It was like looking into the sun itself. His head began to pound.

"Nggghh." Shining groaned, stirring awake in his bed. The morning sun streamed through the open window, searing his retinas. His hangover from the card game last night hit him like a locomotive. He could feel his brain rubbing against the inside of his dry skull, which felt to have been replaced with sandpaper. His eyes, likewise felt like they had been replaced with cotton balls covered in saw dust. He struggled to breathe. The last malady of that list, he found, had nothing to do with his choice of adult beverage the night prior. Instead it had everything to do with his dream. Or rather, the source of it. His fantasy nocturne was no feat of alicorn dream magic on the part of the moon princess. But instead, something much simpler.

Between his legs, somepony was under the covers with him in his bed. It hurt to even move his head, but he forced his body to action in spite of the pain. He lifted the blanket to see who had their hooves pumping around his shaft while he slept. Noticing that her cover had literally been blown, the perpetrator looked up at her victim from between his legs.

"Oh good, you're awake." She said.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" He yelled, immediately regretting the decision to subject his ears to such a violent aural assault.

"Shh! Do you want everypony to hear us?" She hushed him. He scurried backwards away from her, practically crawling the wall of he headboard, trying to kick her away with her hooves. She fell off the side of the bed wrapped in a heap of the blankets. Shining stumbled to the opposite side as his skull rattled with the grey matter ricocheting about inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked again, not quite as loudly but just as angry. The mare stood from the blanket pile and looked down at her hooves, still slick with her saliva and his precum lubrication. She looked back and forth between her hooves and his still-hard stallionhood bobbing under him.

"Is that a serious question?" Twilight asked. "Because it seemed pretty obvious to me."

"What is wrong with you?" He asked, incredulously.

"What's wrong with me!?" She parroted indignantly. "Speak for yourself!" Shining was dumbfounded. "I came to Canterlot last night for the Grand Galloping Gala with my friends. Which, by the way turned into a complete disaster. I thought you'd be there!"

He growled through grit teeth, "I had the night off." He was still demanding an explanation for... this.

"Afterwards, I decided to come visit rather than stay at the Canterlot Hotel. Since I hadn't seen any of you since I left for Ponyville." She said.

"How sweet." He said sarcastically as he rubbed his pounding temple.

"Yeah, except you were out all damn night!" She continued. "And then you come stumbling in after midnight, trying really hard to act like you weren't drunk as you shambled up here to your bed and flopped in. It sounded like you had fallen and hurt yourself so I came to see what was the matter. But you were already passed out. So I stayed and watched you while you slept."

"Wow. That's creepy."

"It's not creepy! I wanted to make sure you didn't choke on your own vomit in your sleep or something." She said.

"Great. But that still doesn't explain why I woke up to you working my butter churn." He said, leaning against his bureau for support. Twilight blushed.

"Well, I nodded off for a bit, but I woke up when you started making noises in your sleep. You were having a dream, and then when your hips started to... you know... I could tell it was one of those dreams. And well, I guess I couldn't help myself but watch." She shuffled her hooves a bit. "I got a bit worked up and had to take care of things for myself. But you were still going even after I finished. I decided to help you along by rubbing through the blanket, but you had definitely had a lot to drink and it was a bit of a struggle to help you finish, so I shared a bit of my... inspiration." She rubbed her nose and pointed at his. It was then that he realized that she'd smeared her juices on his snout. His knees gave out as he vomited into his trash bin. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to assume that that's from the excess of cider last night." She added. "But as I was saying, it didn't seem to be working, so I went for direct stimulation. That was when I got under the covers. And you had nearly finished when you woke up."

Shining wiped his mouth with his hoof. His psyche began to crack. He was beginning to calmly accept that everything was okay. Everything would be okay because he was still asleep. He was still asleep and this nightmare would be over soon. He just needed to bide his time and ride it out. He closed his eyes and waited a moment. Nothing. He opened his eyes. He was still there. And so was she.

Shit

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "So let me get this straight. You watched me sleep last night, noticed that I'd gotten morning wood, and you were rocked by the urge to jack me off in my sleep?"

"I was trying to be helpful." She said defensively, as her eyes wandered to between his legs again. "Help that you clearly still need. Are you sure you don't want me to finish-"

"You're the one who needs help, Twilight! In the form of therapy! Many, many fucking years of therapy! This..." He motioned with his hoof between the two of them. " ...is never, EVER going to happen! Now get the hell out of my bedroom!"

"But I-"

"NOW!" He threw his pillow at her. Twilight ducked it and scurried out. Shining followed her across the room and closed the door behind her, locking it. He slumped to the floor with his sweaty back against the wall. He looked down at himself. Bits of last night's partially digested food was now smeared into his white fur. Not the least of his reasons, but he felt like he needed a long, hot shower.