Midnight Confession

Twilight’s coronation had been hours ago, the festivities long since over. In the distance, a clock tower chimed twelve times. Midnight. Most of Canterlot was asleep.

Twilight wasn’t. No, sleep eluded her. Her body ached softly, muscles and tendons sore from hours of tension. The events of the day had riled her up a great deal. Her debut, the parade, the after party, the after after party. Flying off of the edge of Canterlot for the first time. She was spent, and then some.

She was in her old observatory room in Canterlot Castle. Her old bed, once a comforting friend, was now unfamiliar and alien to her. It didn’t have the same welcoming feeling that her bed in Ponyville did. This was the bed of a lonely filly cut off from the world. Twilight had changed a great deal in the time she’d spent in Ponyville, and going back to this room felt wrong.

For one thing, there wasn’t a basket at the foot of her bed with a sleeping baby dragon in it. Spike was off with Twilight’s friends in the guest suites. The ones that were all the way on the other side of the castle. She missed hearing his tiny snores.

Being back in her old room was also bringing up long repressed feelings, ones that Twilight had believed herself to be rid of.

She tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position. It wasn’t any good. Her new wings were in the way. They fluttered and twitched as though they had a mind of their own. For all Twilight knew, they did. Alicorn biology wasn’t something well documented. Poking and prodding Princesses was considered fairly rude, and the elite of Canterlot would never allow it.

Her brand new wings weren’t the only reason for her insomnia, of course. They were a constant reminder of her new status as a Princess of Equestria, but they weren’t what was occupying her mind so thoroughly.

Something else was. A gnawing question, one she’d had since her transformation the other day. She needed an answer before she could sleep. With a determined grunt, Twilight rolled out of bed and onto the floor. She couldn’t get an answer without asking a question.

She needed to talk to Celestia.

Twilight exited her room as quietly as possible, wincing as the door squeaked. She didn’t want to wake anypony up with her nighttime escapades, and she didn’t really want to be followed. No dice. On each side of the door to her room was a silent guard, glaring into the distance with stoic determination.

“Good evening, Princess,” the guard on the left said.

Twilight nodded at him, smiling slightly. “I didn’t mean to bother you, I’m just going to go speak with Princess Celestia.”

“We shall escort you,” the guard on the right said.

Twilight groaned. “Do you have to? I really don’t like deathly silent ponies following me around glaring at things. It's creepy.”

“It is our duty to guard you, Princess,” both guards said simultaneously.

Twilight sighed in resignation. “Oh, whatever. Come on, then.”

Both guards nodded and fell into step slightly behind her, one on each side.

Twilight gave them both an annoyed look, grumbling under her breath.

Canterlot Castle at night was a great deal different from how it was during the day. The halls, usually somewhat busy with castle staff, were completely empty. Hoofsteps echoed eerily in the large hallways, the sound lonely and hollow.

Twilight hated it. The castle always felt dead around this time, the weight of history making the old stonework creak and groan under its own weight.

She moved swiftly through the halls, guards following silently. Celestia’s room was at the top of the central tower, and getting there from the observatory was a bit of a trip. She could always teleport, but that was loud and bright. It would most likely wake somepony, and the last thing she wanted right now was for one of her friends to come talk to her. She’d lose her nerve completely, and losing her nerve now was going to prevent her from asking what she wanted to ask.

Fifteen minutes later, Twilight stood outside of Celestia’s door. Lanterns along each wall glowed a soft yellow. The four guards in front of Celestia’s doors gave her slow, measured looks. Twilight’s wings fluttered nervously.

“Um...” Twilight said, trying to think this through. “Is Princess Celestia available?”

One of the guards raised an eyebrow. “I believe she is asleep,” he said.

Twilight nodded, biting her lip. “I know... but could you please check to see if she might be awake? I need to talk to her about something.”

The guard frowned, turning his head slightly to look at his comrades. One of them gave a consenting nod.

“Please wait here, Princess Twilight. I will check on her,” the guard said. There was a soft glow from a horn Twilight hadn’t noticed before. A small ball of light coalesced at the tip of the guard’s horn, which then shot off through Celestia’s door. There was a pause of several seconds, and Twilight found herself holding her breath unconsciously.

Another ball of light shot from inside of Celestia’s chambers. The light bobbed in front of the guard who’d sent the first message, making short and fast movements.

Twilight recognized Horse code when she saw it.

“The Princess is awake and willing to speak with you at this time,” the unicorn guard said.

Twilight smiled. “Thank you,” she said. She turned to her own guards, the ones she really didn’t want. “Um, I might be in there for a while, so if you could just go do something else until I'm done—”

“Our task is to guard you. We will wait here for as long as it takes.”

Twilight gave the guards an annoyed glare. She wasn’t going to get used to this any time soon. She turned around, placed a hoof against Celestia’s door, took a deep breath, and pushed. The door opened without a sound. Twilight stepped through, closing the door as gently as she could, which clicked softly behind her as it shut.

Celestia’s room was dimly lit, the curtains open to let the soft glow of the moon cast everything in pale light. A fire crackled in the fireplace, the smell of burning wood permeating the room. Celestia herself sat in front of the fireplace, cushions and tea already set out for Twilight. The cushions were placed fairly close together, side by side, set so they’d face the fire. A low table was nearby, a steaming pot of freshly brewed jasmine tea sending a pleasing aroma into the air.

“You knew I was coming,” Twilight said.

Celestia tilted her head and gave a thoughtful hum. “Knew? No, not exactly. I certainly hoped you were,” Celestia said.

Twilight felt her heart jump slightly. Those words had struck a pleasing cord within her. She moved to sit to the left of Celestia on the cushion that had been provided for her. After she’d settled in, she took a sip of the tea  that had been poured.

It was wonderful, as it always was. Perfectly brewed and steeped, the kind of perfection that came from hundreds of years of experience. The only thing Celestia seemed to like more than drinking tea was preparing it.

Twilight had attended quite a number of tea ceremonies over the years. Celestia was always so happy when she was brewing...

In fact, Celestia’s dedication to the things she cared about was one of the reasons why Twilight liked her so much. It didn’t seem to matter if it was something small, like making tea, or something huge, like raising the sun. Celestia didn’t do anything without putting her whole heart into it.

Twilight shuffled herself around the cushion, trying to find the most comfortable spot. She found it, allowing herself to relax slightly. The cushions were incredibly plush and most likely expensive. She idly wondered if they were something Celestia had bought or if they had been a gift from a grateful pony.

Celestia stared into the fireplace for several moments, eyes unfocused and distant.

Twilight didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to disturb the Princess.

...Or rather, the other princess. Twilight was a princess now, too, so Celestia wasn’t the Princess anymore. Actually, now that Twilight thought about it, she hadn’t been the Princess for a long time now. With Luna back, she was one of two again.

Actually, with Cadance, she had been one of three, and now Twilight made four.

Only four. In the entire world. She felt like part of an endangered species.

Finally, Celestia spoke. “Why did you want to speak with me?”

“I have a question I want to ask you, Princess—” Twilight started.

Celestia cut her off. “Celestia.”

“Huh?”

“My name. Use it. No titles.”

“No titles?”

“None. Just my name. Go ahead. Try it out.”

“R-Really? I mean, you really want me to?”

Celestia nodded. “You’re a Princess now, Twilight. My equal. There is no longer a need for formal titles.”

No need for formal titles? Twilight could feel her cheeks burning. Celestia had just made a foalhood dream come true. “Okay... C-Celestia."

Celestia gave her a radiant smile, a smile Twilight had never seen before. It was warmer, brighter, happier. It was infectious.

Twilight found herself grinning right back at Celestia.

“I think I’m going to like hearing that,” Celestia said. She opened her left wing and settled it over Twilight, pulling her into a one-wing hug.

Celestia seemed to have a knack for making Twilight blush. She always had.

“I’m happy it makes you happy,” Twilight said. She winced. That had sounded better in her head. She always got so tongue tied around Celestia.

Celestia giggled. “Did you mean for that to sound as cute as it did?”

“Not really,” Twilight admitted.

Celestia’s giggles turned to full blown laughter, and Twilight found herself laughing right along with her.

Eventually, the laughter petered out. Twilight wiped her eyes and began taking slow, deep breaths, trying to regain control over her emotions. Laughing fits, while entertaining, weren’t going to get her any answers.

Celestia calmed herself quickly, with such speed that Twilight was amazed. Celestia was used to doing so. A good leader needed to be able to control their emotions, to make themselves feel what was required rather than what they desired.

That's what Luna had said to Twilight right before the coronation began, at least. Twilight wasn't sure if she bought that.

“You had a question?” Celestia asked, interrupting Twilight's thought.

Twilight nodded. “Yes, I did. Do.” She licked her lips nervously, her mouth suddenly dry. “I’m just not sure how to ask it. It’s... It’s pretty personal.”

Celestia cocked her head in such a way that her mane obscured half of her face, one eye hidden behind a curtain of solar locks.

Twilight liked when she wore her hair like that. It suited her so well.

Finally, Celestia said, “I can answer a personal question, Twilight. I don’t mind. Feel free to ask.”

Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s about, um, the other day.” Her wings rustled. “When I became an alicorn. Or, rather, right before I became an alicorn.”

“You have a question about the Astral Realm?” Celestia asked.

“No, I understood that well enough, I think,” Twilight said. “My question’s about what happened while we were there.”

“Oh?”

Twilight turned to look at Celestia, who turned to look right back. Twilight tried to will her heart to calm down. “Celestia...”

“Yes?”

Here it was. The question. The one that wouldn‘t let Twilight sleep.

“Why did you sing?”

Celestia tilted her head from left to right slowly, giving Twilight a measured look. “You didn’t enjoy my song?”

Twilight’s body burned with embarrassment and she tried desperately to backpedal. “No, I loved it! It was beautiful! I just...” She trailed off.

Celestia’s gaze never wavered. “Just what, Twilight?”

“Celestia... I have never heard you sing before. It didn’t matter what we were doing over the years, no matter the holiday or event. You never sang,” Twilight said. “Until the other day. For me. To me. I just... wanted to know... Why?” Twilight’s blood was rushing so hard she could hear it. This was getting to be a great deal more intense than she’d first thought.

Celestia rubbed her wing up and down Twilight’s back in a comforting gesture. “You’re right, Twilight. I sing very rarely. There are many ponies out there that enjoy singing in public, but I’ve never been one of them. Being part of a crowd caught up in a performance seems to be ingrained in the current pony population.” She nuzzled the top of Twilight’s head.

“But that doesn’t mean that everypony out there wants to share every part of themselves with everypony in the world. As a Princess, I have very little privacy, very little that isn’t shared with the public. Singing is something I usually prefer to keep for myself and those who are most important to me.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Most important?” she murmured. “Me?”

Celestia pulled Twilight tightly against her side. “Twilight, I have sung for only four ponies in my life. My mother, my father, my sister... And you.”

“You... You think I’m as important as your family?” Twilight asked, awed. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears.

Did she really mean that much to Celestia?

Celestia shook her head. “No, Twilight. I consider you to be family.”

The tears weren’t unshed anymore. Twilight sobbed. “I... I... I...” No words came. Nothing she could think of was strong enough to properly express how she felt at that moment. ‘Happiness’ and ‘joy’ felt like hollow words compared to the blazing inferno inside of her.

Celestia brushed away Twilight’s tears with a hoof. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Twilight was taken aback. Upset? Celestia thought...

“I’m not crying because I’m upset, Celestia,” Twilight said. “I’m crying... because I’m so happy.”

Celestia gave a relieved smile. “Ah, that’s different, then. Tears of joy are far more bearable to see than ones of sadness.”

Twilight sniffed and coughed, wiping at her eyes as she did so. She wanted to regain some form of composure, if she could. Blubbering all over Celestia wasn’t something she enjoyed doing.

Much.

“So,” Twilight said, “You sang to me because you consider me family?”

Celestia paused. Finally, she shook her head. “No, that isn’t the reason. Not exactly,” Celestia said. She hmm’ed. “I consider Cadance family as well, but I’ve never sung for her.” She looked at Twilight and locked gazes. “It isn’t enough to just be related. There has to be a certain level of connection between myself and the pony I’m singing for. A certain level of, well... intimacy.” Celestia blushed.

So did Twilight.

“O-Oh,” Twilight managed to stammer. “I see.”

They spent a fair number of seconds looking pointedly away from each other, both their faces burning red. Twilight had liked hearing Celestia say that more than she wanted to admit.

“Celestia...” Twilight started, then paused. She thought about what she wanted to say. “What are we, now?” she asked.

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“What I mean is, what is our, um... relationship? I mean, if we aren’t teacher and student any more, what are we?”

Celestia shrugged. “To be quite honest, Twilight, I’m not entirely sure. ‘Friend’ somewhat works, but I don’t think it’s nearly close enough to accurately describe our relationship. I know you far better than I know any of the friends I’ve had over the years.” She tapped a hoof against her chin in thought. “‘Family’ works, but again, that doesn’t sound quite right. I certainly don’t feel the same way about you that I do about Luna, for instance.” Celestia sighed. ”And, while this may sound cruel, the fact is, I‘ve never thought of you as a daughter.”

A small part of Twilight winced in pain, hurt that Celestia had said what she had. A far larger part of her, however, felt relieved. For some reason, the idea of Celestia thinking of her as her child felt wrong, and knowing that she felt that way helped immensely.

“I— I’ve never thought of you as a mother, Celestia,” Twilight said.

Celestia flinched.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I have a mother, after all, and you aren’t her.”

Celestia nodded. “No, I’m not. I’m glad we both agree on that point.”

Twilight shifted nervously. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. This conversation was bringing up those old feelings she’d been fighting with all night. She knew, now, what it was she really wanted. Why she was in Celestia’s room at midnight, instead of fast asleep.

Twilight just wasn’t sure if she had enough courage to admit it to herself. Or to Celestia.

But she desperately wanted to.

“Celestia,” Twilight said. Celestia turned to face her, and Twilight placed her right hoof as gently as possible against Celestia’s chest. “There’s something... Something I want to tell you.”

“What is it, Twilight?” Celestia asked, concern lacing her voice. Always so caring, so interested in the problems and pain of others.

Twilight bit her lip. “It will change things between us.”

“Change can be a good thing, Princess Twilight,” Celestia said. Twilight gave a small laugh.

“Yes, I suppose it can be,” Twilight said. “Doesn’t mean it isn’t scary.”

Celestia touched the side of Twilight’s muzzle softly with a hoof. “Fear is a part of life, a part of the unknown. It’s how we choose to deal with it that matters.”

Twilight nodded. “I understand that, but it’s one thing to know intellectually and another thing entirely to know emotionally.” She swallowed. “Okay... Okay, I can do this.” Deep breaths. That’s all she needed. Deep, calming breaths.

In. Out. In. Out.

“Celestia, I think I’m in love with you.”

There was a pause. Celestia’s face was blank as she said, “Oh.” She licked her lips, sight unfocused. “When did you know you felt this way?”

“I've felt it for some time, but only really admitted it to myself while we were talking,” Twilight said.

Celestia’s eyes widened slightly. “So just now, then?”

Twilight gave a confirming nod.

Celestia blinked slowly. “Twilight...” Celestia said, then trailed off.

Twilight’s heart was pounding so quickly it was beginning to hurt.

“I don’t know what to say.”

Twilight said nothing. It’d taken her entire well of courage just to say what she had. It was Celestia’s turn to be the brave one.

“I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought about it before,” Celestia murmured.

Twilight almost jumped out of her skin at the admission.

“How could I not? You’re... such a wonderful pony, Twilight. You shine so brightly, just like a star. Anypony would be lucky to have you as their lover.”

Twilight braced herself. Here came the rejection. She’d known it was coming, but it was still going to hurt.

“I’m very old, Twilight," Celestia said, voice low and controlled. "The oldest, as far as I’m aware of at this time. I’ve been to every corner of the globe, fought every monster that’s known to ponykind. I’ve forgotten more knowledge than everypony in the world knows collectively. For more than ten thousand years, I have provided for and looked after the world, and I’m glad to do it." She stared out the window at the moon, it's waning crescent glowing warmly.

Twilight wasn't sure what to do. At that moment, Celestia just seemed so sad.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely. That I don’t desire companionship. That I don’t have the needs of a normal mare,” Celestia said.

Twilight wasn’t sure what this was, but it wasn’t a rejection. Part of her hoped, though. Hoped for Celestia to say what Twilight wanted to hear so very badly.

“I can’t say I’m in love with you, Twilight,” Celestia said.

Twilight’s hopes fell.

“But I think I’d like to try to be.” She lightly touched Twilight’s face, stroking a cheek. “If you can put up with dating an old nag like me, that is.”

Twilight gave a half laugh, half choked sob, and threw her forelegs around Celestia’s neck. “Of course I can! That isn’t even a question!”

Celestia chuckled. “No, I suppose it isn’t. Not when it comes to you.”

Twilight squeezed Celestia tighter, trying to pull the two of them together as closely as she could. Celestia, hesitantly, encircled Twilight in her own forelegs. Twilight could feel the heat of Celestia’s coat, the beating of her heart, the smooth, supple muscles underneath the flawless skin.

Bliss. Twilight had never really understood the word until that moment. She didn’t want it to end. She would gladly spend the rest of time like this, safe and warm in Celestia's embrace.

The moment did end, however.

Celestia pulled back, staring into Twilight’s eyes. “Ponies will talk, if this gets out.”

Twilight shrugged. “Ponies always talk. Very few of them have something worth saying.”

“You’ll be a political target,” Celestia said.

“I’ve been one since I became your personal student, Celestia. I’m used to it.”

“My enemies might try to use you to get to me.”

“At this point, it seems more likely that they’d use you to get to me. How many times have I saved your life now?”

Celestia snickered. “At least three that I can think of.” She sighed. “I know you’re strong enough, Twilight. I’m just worried. I usually am.”

“So am I,” Twilight said. “About how my friends will react, how my family will react. And then there’s Spike! This is going to freak him out so much. To him, it’s probably going to be like seeing his sister dating his mother!”

Celestia made a disgusted face. “Oh, that is a horrible image. Please never say anything like that ever again.”

Twilight stuck her tongue out playfully. “I promise nothing.”

Celestia swatted her flank lightly with a wingtip.

Twilight tried to return the favor but failed to use enough of her wing strength. She ended up brushing along Celestia’s side in a touch that could only be called sensual.

Celestia made a noise in her throat that almost sounded like purring.

Twilight hadn’t thought she could blush any harder than she had during her confession. She was wrong. Her head felt like a furnace.

There was a long pause as Twilight tried to collect her thoughts. “So, am I your special somepony now, Celestia?” She really wanted to figure out what they were. She was the type that needed to classify everything, after all. Her current unknown relationship with Celestia was going to drive her batty unless she got a solid answer.

Celestia nodded. “Yes, I think I like the sound of that.” She leaned down and rested her forehead against Twilight’s. “I can’t promise you that I’m going to feel the same way about you that you do about me, but I really want to try. I think it’s something worth pursuing. Or rather, that you’re worth pursuing.”

Twilight shifted nervously. “Celestia... Can I stay here tonight?”

Celestia’s eyebrows shot up.

Twilight slapped a hoof over her own face in horror. “Not like that! Not that I don’t want to, but I’m definitely not ready for that yet, and we haven’t even had an official date yet, and—”

Celestia gently covered Twilight’s mouth with a hoof. “I understand what you mean, Twilight. I’m certainly not in the proper place for that yet.

"I’m just surprised you want to stay here, that’s all. I thought you liked the observatory?”

“I do,” Twilight said, “but it’s so... cold. And far away.” She shivered. “It doesn’t feel right anymore.”

Celestia smiled. “That’s because it isn’t your home. Ponyville and the Golden Oak Library are.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s kind of what I thought the problem was."

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep in my chambers any better than you can in the observatory?” Celestia asked. "It's not really any more comfortable a room than yours. Castles aren't built for temperature control, I'm afraid."

“Being near somepony I love usually helps me get to sleep pretty easily,” Twilight said. “One of the reasons I couldn’t sleep was Spike not being in the room with me."

"That's so sweet, Twilight," Celestia cooed, grinning.

Twilight glowered at her. “Tell no one. You do, and you burn.”

Celestia laughed heartily. “I’ll just keep it secret until I need something from you."

“Blackmail, Celestia? Really?”

“I prefer ‘Resource Management’!”

Twilight rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep a satisfied smile off of her face. “So I can stay?”

Celestia nodded her head. “Yes, if you’d like. I can conjure a spare bed easily enough, and I certainly have plenty of room.”

Twilight yawned suddenly, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Think we can do that bed conjuring thing now? I’m pretty tired.”

In the distance, a clock chimed a single time. It was now one o'clock in the morning.

“Yes,” Celestia said, “I think it’s time for bed.” Her horn glowed golden, and there was a pop of magic.

A twin four poster bed appeared in the middle of the room, aligned along the foot of Celestia’s own queen size bed. Blankets had already been provided. There was the soft glow of Celestia’s telekinesis, and the covers seemed to pull themselves back. Twilight flopped into the bed carelessly and allowed Celestia to tuck her in.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this,” Celestia said. “I forgot how much I enjoyed it.”

Twilight gave her a tired smile. “Read me a story?”

Celestia giggled, smiled and nuzzled Twilight’s muzzle. “Oh, if you’d like.” There was a flash of magic. A storybook appeared in the air in front of Celestia, bobbing up and down in the mystical energy of Celestia’s horn. “What type of story would you like to hear?”

Twilight grinned. “How about one of those romance stories about a brave knight rescuing a princess?”

Celestia smirked. “Oh? Is that you, then? The brave knight coming to rescue the distressed damsel?”

“Yep!”

“Very well, then. Eh hem. ‘Once upon a time, in the land of Equestria...’"

Twilight barely heard the story, her consciousness drifting in and out as sleep began to claim her. Tomorrow, they would both have a number of ponies of talk to. Twilight’s friends and family would have to be told, as would Luna and Cadance. But those were thoughts for later, and at that moment, the only thing Twilight could focus on was Celestia’s soothing voice.

Celestia finished the story just as Twilight’s eyelids drooped closed for the final time. “Good night, Twilight.” She leaned over and placed a chaste kiss against Twilight’s temple. “I imagine that we’re going to have quite a bit to do tomorrow, and I think we both need to get our rest in order to properly deal with the situations that will arise.”

Twilight mumbled an agreement, barely conscious. She listened as Celestia readied herself for bed, removing her regalia with soft clinks. There was a rustle of sheets as Celestia got under her own covers, sighing slightly as she did so.

“I’m actually looking forward to it,” Celestia said.

Even with her eyes closed, Twilight could feel Celestia’s excited grin.

“So am I,” Twilight murmured. A second later, she was unconscious.