My Horrible Day In a Nutshell

by Dragonborne Fox

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Anthro
Length: 1936

A crackship with my classmates. This cannot end well.

Six colt-like stallions, all with different personalities and opinions. Beer. Class.

This cannot end well.

——-

First anthro story. And a crossover with my messed up mind and told from my perspective as shit unfolds, and every character is 18 years minimum. WARNING: LOTS OF EXAGGERATION INBOUND!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-29 02:00:02 UTC

My Horrible Day In a Nutshell

I sigh as I turn off my phone, the rooster alarm still blaring in my sleep-fogged ears. I look over myself to make sure all my ducks were in a row, so to speak. My t-shirt was on properly, and so were my black pants and horseshoes. My brown-red tail hangs lazily behind my frame, and in dire need of brushing. My mane, which was cut short a few weeks back, looks like a bird nested in it.

Before walking out of my wreck of a bedroom, I realize I nearly forgot my special piece of attire: a horn disguiser. I hastily search all over for it (forgetting it was already on my head), thinking I'd left it in the dirty clothes that had accumulated in my room.

Once it had occurred to me I already had it on, I calmly sigh and kick myself mentally before walking out of the room and found myself looking into the bathroom mirror from the hallway. My white skin, pale from a lack of sunlight, heavily contrasts my red-brown mane and eyes of grey.

I smile at myself, rubbing the sand out of my eyes with careful movements of my finger. I also admire my c-cup breasts as they greet me in the reflective depths of the mirror. I go into the living room, deciding it was enough dillydallying. I put on my new backpack, but not before putting my phone in it should trouble arise later on.

I hear honking and grab my jacket hurriedly. There's Bus 104, I murmur as I bolt out the door and into the yard. I slam the door shut and begin jogging to the short bus that awaited for me to board it. I obliged, as this was (usually) my only means of getting to school.

Why would I be on a short bus? I have high-functioning autism and mental instability. In other words, I'm a nutcase who is asylum-worthy.

I go down the aisle slowly, passing by two colts who were in wheelchairs. Frankly, I pitied them, but I also kept my trap shut. I take the front seat to the right and buckle in my seatbelt, my backpack tugging against my body. I glanced at the other kids; they seemed pretty 'normal.' Except for one colt who had to wear a breathing mask attached to an oxygen tank; but I'll save him for another day.

I was the only unicorn on the bus, and I always have been. The unicorn and pegasus families had been frowned upon since ancient times, and it was customary to make them like the earth ponies. At least me and my family had been spared from that fate by hiding away and merely looking like we had become like the earth when, in fact, we're disguised. Oh, and a law had been passed a year before my birth, prohibiting the cruel practice of removing wings and horns off of newborn foals.

Nopony at school knew a thing about my horn. It was a good thing.

I snapped out of my mid-morning day-dreaming session as the bus stops before the gates of ye ole Ridgehoof High. I unbuckle as the doors of the bus open, and I get off quickly. A few colts and a filly join me, but they greet their teacher as I head straight towards the cafeteria.

I get in the short line, twiddling my thumbs as I wait for food to be served. I wonder what I'll eat today. I murmur as my stomach growls. A few colts glance at me, the short mare that is fully grown by body and emotionally nine years old. They said nothing to me, and they turn away to talk about some bitch they wanna fuck senseless.

Those colts sickened me; it really irked me that they were wasting their lives away on trivial things. I never knew why it was a pet peeve, but I never asked myself.

The door to the serving area opened, and like the hungry wolf I was, I walked in tow behind those douchebag colts who took their Styrofoam trays and revealed to me today's menu.

Egg and cheese biscuits or cinnamon rolls.

I take a roll, a carton of orange juice, and some chocolate milk before getting to the cashier. I put my number in and she asked me for my name.

"Katie Minthorn," I say quickly.

The lunchmare nodded and ushered me to a round table with eight small stools that served as chairs. I set my tray down and eat the roll. After finishing it off, I drink my milk and a bit of OJ before disposing of my trash.

Glancing at the clock, I sigh as I realized I needed to do some running around since class doesn't start until 8:00, and the current time was 7:28.

Nothing of importance happened during my marathon (unless you want to hear about my session with the toilet or something...), so I'll just cut to the chase: Announcements had ended and my classmates--eight colts and one filly--had resumed their rambling session while I sat in the back of the room preparing to doodle. I only have two art classes this curriculum, so sue me for looking like I was unproductive.

Madison Reignhart, who we all called Tobi, turned to me. "What'cha drawing today?" She asked, a smile on her face. She was a goth mare, sporting black clothes with some color here and there. Her light-tan skin and black mane contrasts her green eyes wonderfully.

"I dunno. Maybe more four-legged humans." I replied, sifting through the drawings already present in my binder. I did lots of obscure things, like werewolves and vampires.

Tobi laughed. "Okay then," She said before turning around. She and I were becoming good friends, but she sometimes found me creepy (and I understood why.)

"Alright, since everypony except for Tobi misbehaved in science class yesterday, you all have to stay here and take your science tests." My teacher, Mister Sparkhooves, said. He had a yellow color of skin and a brown mane. He was a great teacher who wouldn't tolerate shit from my classmates.

He got up from his desk and Tobi did so from hers. "See ya, Katie." She said, smiling as she and the teacher walked out the door, leaving me with my shithead classmates.

And this is where things got really freaky.

"UGH! I cannot draw worth dogshit! Why did I even sign up for art class?!" Shouted an embarrassingly fat colt who couldn't fit in his desk. His grimy green skin and black, unkempt mane disgusted me. He wore shades all the time. I won't use his name here, so I'll simply call him the 'Pessimist.'

I wrinkled my nose and picked up my graphite pencil, more than ready to draw humans (who we ponies considered myth.)

Another colt, sporting light red hair and a skin color of grey, replied, "Because you whine and complain about everything. Stop your bitching, it's so childish and retarded." This one I've named the Preacher, for obvious reasons. "Besides, you complain because God left you."

I wrinkled my nose again. Quit bringing religion into this, fuckface, I think with a sigh escaping my lips as I glare at the Preacher. I was running out of paper with which to draw, which meant I needed to restock when I got home.

Another colt, brown skin and black mane, broke out a beer bottle. He chugged the entire thing down.

"Why you drinkin' in class?" Asked another, who I've dubbed the Sports Freak. He had a superbowl jacket, off-white skin, and blond fluffy mane.

"It's none of your business," The brown colt replied. This is the Class Delinquent. He's been sent to ISS way more often because of him drinking beer and not doing as asked.

"At least I'm sexier than all of you." Spoke another fat colt, light brown skin and straight black mane on his frame. He's the Laidback Asshole.

"So, I was...and then dad...and then this jeep..." Rabbled a colt with a short black mane and light orange skin. He's the Walky-Talky, who rarely sits down and even more rarely shuts up for two seconds straight.

"Hey, can I have some of that?" The Pessimist asks, pointing to the now-empty beer bottle.

"Sure, I have some for everypony. Katie, Jefferson, Connor, you want some too?" The Delinquent asked, emptying out the contents of his bookbag to reveal enough beer bottles to sustain one stallion on a New Year's party.

"No. I refuse to break the law." I gruffly reply, my face shifting into a scowl. What's he got in mind now? I thought, crossing my arms as I finish off what little paper I had.

"Same here." Jefferson Davidshoof replied. He was an inch taller than me, sporting a blond mane and light blue skin. He backed away from the shitheads in the center of the small room and towards me.

"I don't get why you guys have to be such idiots." Connor Adderhorn answered, being another chubby colt with a shaven mane and beard. His skin was light, grassy green. He began pacing around the room for no reason other than him being energetic.

The Delinquent, Pessimist, Preacher, Sports Freak, Asshole, and Walky-Talky grabbed glass bottles and began downing the alcoholic cocktail that was smuggled in school walls.

After the first bottles were downed, the colts were already buzzed. They downed another set of bottles and then shit went downhill.

Connor, Jefferson, and I watched in shock as they began to undress right in front of us. They paused, downing another bottle of booze before removing their pants and undergarments.

What I saw next won't ever leave my mind: The Pessimist and Preacher began kissing. And the Asshole joined in! The Delinquent was already erect and jerking off his rod as the Sports Freak and Walky-Talky were doing the sixty-nine!

"Should we get outta here and pretend this never happened?" Jefferson asked, putting his hoodie on over his face.

"I think I should get Mister Sparkhooves." Connor commented, pointing at the sight of the Preacher sucking the Pessimist off.

For some reason, I could not move. I was a statue with a raging blush wrought of pure horror on my face as I watched the Asshole insert his rod in the Preacher's plothole.

"Katie...?" Jefferson asked, shaking my shoulder to get my attention. I merely glanced at him with wide eyes and a feeling of wetness between my legs.

"I don't think she's alright." Connor pointed out before running out the door. Jefferson followed suit and I just sat there watching the drunkards perform all sorts of sex acts, glancing at my phone every now and then to check the time.

I cannot speak of the resulting orgy because it was so horrid and messy.

An hour after all of this, Mister Sparkhooves arrived and walked into the porno. He took out his phone and called somepony, probably the cops. It was then he noticed the horrified me just sitting there doing nothing in the back of the room, watching it all unfold.

Then, many ponies arrived and pulled the colts apart and dragged them kicking and screaming out of the door. I was picked up by my parents and left at home for a month to recover from that sight.

They had a trial and were found guilty of fornicating in school property. To this day, so I hear, they're in a jail cell bitching at each other about that one time with the booze.