Mandarin’s particular shade of orange was reminiscent of an overly bright toy one bought for young foals whose tastes were shaped solely by how visually appealing it was; Derpy found herself suppressing a chuckle as the heavy length of silicone bobbled in Twilight’s hand. “A friend from Canterlot got him for me as a gag gift when I turned sixteen,” the princess said with a hint of nostalgia. “Joke’s on Moondancer, though; he’s perfect for this.” She unrolled the clear plastic tubing until it hung at its full length before turning turning the shaft around to give Derpy a better look. “Eighteen inches long, double-headed for mutual penetration, with a nice tube running to both ends for injecting lube.”

“And how do you plan on getting your semen through that?” The mailmare really hoped the plan did not involve a catheter or funnel.

“Right,” Twilight began, snapping her fingers at the realization, “I keep forgetting that not everyone knows the previous attempts at solving our female-to-male ratio.” She twirled Mandarin around like a jiggly baton as she conducted an invisible orchestra. “Over the years we’ve learned that creating sperm and eggs is impossible; they’re completely genetically blank and useless as far as reproduction goes,” she continued as she walked over to one of the freezers. “Creation is impossible, hence my new testes, but aging is entirely possible, like the spell I used to make sure Cheerilee was ovulating.” Smiling the proud smile of a researcher seeing her labors blossom, she lifted the lid and sat a small rack on a nearby table. “With the right diet and hydration levels, plus a little magic to make sure I processed everything correctly, I managed to store up quite a bit, all viable.”

“With the dominatrix outfit, sex dungeon, and array of medical instruments I was guessing you had frozen semen in there,” Derpy said with a smile. “Well, that or a severed head, but I’m not a fan of basements anyway.” She was the first to admit she read too many trashy mystery novels, but perhaps trashy novels were not too bad. She grinned to herself and resolved to return Sparkler’s book when she got home. “Going to use magic to warm a sample and, ugh, squirt it in me?” she asked, shivering at how mechanical the entire process sounded when she put it that way.

“Nope, sperm are far too delicate for that; any sudden change in heat could kill them and render the sample nearly infertile,” Twilight explained, grabbing two glass tubes and setting the rest back in the freezer. “Gotta wait for these bad boys to warm on their own after I put them in this.” To explain what this was, she pulled out yet another sealed pouch, this time from the refrigerator; she tore the pouch open and poured its contents into a flask. The liquid inside was perhaps as thick as chilled syrup but entirely clear. “This is just a mixture of basic amino acids and sugars, plus a little zinc and some base neutralizers to maximize fertilization.”

“So, now we wait?” Derpy asked, leaning against a cabinet. Shaking her head, Twilight grabbed the flask and started walking back to the box that formerly contained Mandarin.

“Now, we need to prepare you, which involves magic and… stimulation,” the alicorn corrected. Seeing the cross look she got from Derpy, Twilight winced, but maintained her position. “The cervix dilates slightly during orgasm, so if you are nearing orgasm, I can bring you over the edge with Mandarin and finish fertilization.” She smiled a bit to ease the tension but still felt Derpy’s discomfort. “Just, um, lay back on the table and let me know when you’re close.”

The mailmare did as asked, stripping off her skirt and panties as she walked over to the gurney. Rubbing her fingers around her labia, she felt the leftover residue from her earlier relaxation with Spike; contact with open air revitalized whatever chemicals had made it so tingly, and with his fluids having filled every crevice she kept snug between her legs, pins and needles poked around her clit and she felt herself becoming aroused even as she laid down on the gurney. She pressed her middle finger against her hard button and wondered how Spike wasn’t constantly aroused if this was what his strange sheath was filled with, and how much she loved the way his ribbed, barbed shaft spread that pleasant burn through her body.

Twilight stood nearby, bodysuit unzipped while her cock stood at the ready and she nestled Mandarin between her breasts to warm it; in the back of her mind she was worried about cold silicone ruining the evening, but seeing Derpy playing with herself aroused a part of her Cheerilee had awoken before, that primal feeling that pulsed through her when she saw the teacher’s pussy bared for her to use as she saw fit. Now, with such a ripe, maternal figure lying before her, bringing herself to orgasm with her fingers as she waited for Twilight to cum as deep inside her as she could; she fumbled as she loaded the sperm packet into Mandarin’s special syringe, and nearly dropped the dildo itself when Derpy cast her a lewd, half-lidded glance. Carefully, she approached the gurney, worried she might break her word not to use her cock on the mailmare, as delightful as she seemed to be as she writhed in place and bucked against her hand with every grind against her clit.

The princess lubed the orange dildo up as quickly as she could, keeping one end dry to use as a handle for maximum leverage; Derpy was right with her, moving her hand away as Twilight rubbed the rubber cockhead against her slit, wincing only a small bit as the slightly chilled lube mixed with the fading stimulation she still received from her little dalliance with Spike upstairs. It was only a moment later she was split by the silicone dick and felt one of the princess’s gloved hands grip her thigh as she slowly pistoned the fake stallion into her pussy; being better than her fingers but not nearly as good as the real thing, Derpy still panted as she felt the shaft twist and squirm inside her, fighting her contracting muscles and ignoring her own movements. “Aim up a little bit,” she groaned out as she lost a perfect stroke when Twilight shifted a little to get a better angle. “Hitting my front is about the quickest way to get me off”

Knowing better than to discuss anatomy while fucking, Twilight compensated and moved to Derpy’s specifications, angling Mandarin to it bumped against the pegasus’s g-spot; she added a twist to the strokes for extra kick, delighting in the little noises her grey partner made whenever she found another nice trick. She felt a little neglected as she looked up at the mare she was pleasuring, meeting her gaze like a sober pony met a drunk’s; she felt good, big, bold as the mailmare looked at her, cheeks red in embarrassment at her first, strange time with a member of her own sex. Twilight planted a kiss on Derpy’s thigh and hoped she was enjoying herself; she nipped at the firm, sensitive flesh next to her, her own arousal driving her up the wall as she ached to do something other that kneel there work her arm like machine.

There was oh so much of her lab assistant to play with, from her firm, squeezable ass to her wide hips and large breasts; it was a true shame she couldn’t play with her like she did Cheerilee earlier, and hoped Derpy would come around eventually. For now, the alicorn delighted in surprising her new partner, nipping, licking, and sucking her way up those long, graceful legs to that tight, wet, tantalizing cunny that she kept hidden from the world. She bit a lipful of skin between Derpy’s thigh and labia and shivered at the moan she let out as a hand grabbed her mane and pulled her close. Twilight went from kneeling to squatting as she raised up and licked just above the pegasus’s clit, blowing a gust of breath over the juice-soaked fur and skin as she passed; even as Derpy gasped, the princess dove back down, sucking the little button between her lips and thrashing it with her tongue.

Her technique was an instant success as Derpy wrapped her legs around Twilight's head and squeezed. “Now, now!” she screamed out as she rushed to orgasm. “Squirt it!” The princess, despite her assistant's legs trying to burst her head like a melon, she had the syringe and spell at the ready. Timed as properly as she could, Twilight pressed the plunger and squirted her collected semen through her favorite toy and into her new playmate, getting about half of her own cum sprayed on her chest in a big, warm blob; with any measure of luck at all, her sperm would rush through Derpy’s dilated cervix and into an egg. The princess left Mandarin in place and gave the clit in her mouth another tender suckle, but otherwise remained motionless and allowed Derpy to unpack her own emotions over what had happened. They sat in silence in what must have been the most awkward position either of them could think of spending any amount of time in until the pegasus found her voice.

“The oral wasn’t part of the deal, but I’m not complaining,” she said, murmuring as her kegels twitched and pushed the dildo halfway out. She ran her hand through Twilight’s mane once more and patted her head. “Can I please get up? Silicone doesn’t feel half as nice when it isn’t doing anything.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” the orally-inclined alicorn mumbled out as she pulled away. She slipped as the heel of her stiletto failed to find purchase and fell on her back as Mandarin came loose; the orange cock bounced against her own and tumbled to the floor with a wet slap as lube, feminine juices, and cum met cold cement. With her dick standing straight up, her body sprawled out on the floor, and one foot wedged under the gurney, she very much appreciated Derpy’s helping hand in standing, albeit while the pegasus herself wobbled as she found her footing.

“Heh, sorry about the headlock,” the mailmare said with a friendly smile, golden eyes gleaming under the flourescent lights. “Though, that’s the best head I’ve ever gotten.” She almost sounded embarrassed to say it, but it was the truth. “Almost makes me wonder if all mares can get other mares off easily, like having a twat makes you better at handling one.”

“I wasn’t exactly thinking with that part of me,” Twilight chuckled as she motioned to her neglected shaft, twitching and drooling pre-cum as she went. “Now you’ve got me wondering if stallions are better at pleasing other stallions.” She laughed a little, pondering over an experiment she may have to try out in the future, after the dust of all this had settled and the colts were born if they were conceived at all. “Listen, Derpy,” she began, acting serious, “what we’ve done here is big, really big, and I’m sure you have a lot of fears and questions.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will all hit me after I’ve gotten a shower and gone home,” the mailmare agreed; her head was already in a bit of a fog, like after accidentally flying into a tree and trying to walk it off, body on autopilot while the brain spent time learning how to be a pony after a hard reboot. “A foal’s a big responsibility, and this isn't my first rodeo by any means, but I’m sure I’ll panic when I get settled in tonight.” She waved her hands about and sighed. “I mean, between walking in on you, a mare, sporting a cock and thoroughly giving it to my youngest daughter’s teacher and you then using a dildo to squirt your own semen into me after magically making sure I was ovulating could really put a damper on sanity.”

“You’re more than free to reconsider this all, no questions asked, if you want,” the princess affirmed, changing posture to look as unimposing as her tall frame allowed. “That’s assuming the sperm really are viable, so we won’t know for a few weeks at least.” The purple pony looked Derpy up and down and chuckled to herself. “I may well end up being a father, and will if this experiment goes well,” she started, laughing at the ludicrousness of it all. “A little colt might be calling me ‘daddy’ before I know it.”

Derpy shared in the laugh or a moment, before her thoughts finally moved back to what she had agreed to; she, a working single mother who had not had so much as a date since her youngest was born, was suddenly pregnant, with nopony in a small town knowing who the father was. It was almost scandalous, and were it not for the unknown father part, she might avoid the worst of the rumors. “So, this might be a little too late to ask, but what’s the cover for this whole thing?”

“Cover?” Twilight asked, not sure what the pegasus meant. “Cover for what?”

“Well, Cheerilee’s little adventures certainly aren’t unknown in town, with that odd club she likes to visit on weekends, but I’m otherwise unnoticeable and usually somewhat out of other ponies’ minds.” She motioned to her pelvis and tapped against the matted, wet fur there. “Now I’m suddenly pregnant with nopony seeing me out; no dates, hookups, or early morning walks of shame from my house or anypony else’s.” To her credit, Twilight looked rather surprised by what she heard; Derpy was hired on because she was god at taking notes in addition to her birthing history, and yet here she was pointing out an otherwise obvious flaw in security.

“Ponies do like asking questions,” she said, thinking back to tabloid after tabloid wondering why she went to Hayburger so often or wondering if she was romantically involved with somepony in secret, sneaking them into the library at night and putting them out before sunrise. “I’ll figure something out, just give me some time.” It would be difficult, but maybe she could ask the princesses for help making a convenient cover story. Perhaps she was providing counsel for a couple of expectant mothers at a hectic time in their lives, or working with them to discuss adoptions or other services they could take advantage of if the pressure became too much. “This is really something I should have thought of before we got this far.”

“Is it alright if I use your shower?” Derpy asked, deciding not to worry until she was in the comfort of her own home again; it was too much of a headache to agonize over every little detail all at once, which may have been why Twilight had neglected this facet of things, or perhaps it was simply too small a chink in her thin armor of secrecy. Paid breeding was a heavy crime, and even with crown approval they still faced their reputations being ruined, and poor DInky was having enough trouble in school with the other foals as it was. Sparkler was worldly enough to be fine, but the mailmare couldn’t bring herself to break her youngest child’s perfect image of her; her foals were the only reason she was doing this, to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table as best she could. “I need to scrub down before I head home.”

“Oh, that’s perfectly okay; if you need a change of clothes I’m sure Spike can find you something,” Twilight said as she turned away from the pegasus, dick whipping with her and knocking a tray off a rolling stand. The princess threw her head back and sighed; it was going to be one of those days again. “I’ll be up shortly after I clean up down here, and find a way to get this thing to go back down.” She finished by gently patting the top of her shaft; she was still rather painfully aroused from earlier, but now her mind was wandering too far too fast to do much of anything but worry over the details of what appeared to be a glaring hole in her defenses. “Oh, and before you go, do you mind doing one thing for me, just to try and keep things from looking too suspicious?”

“I was mostly kidding about needing a cover, Twilight, but go ahead.” Derpy stopped on the stairs and turned to the face the princess. It was difficult to take somepony wearing a latex catsuit seriously, especially when the front was completely unzipped and everything was on display for the whole of creation to see. Still, somehow Twilight made it work.

“Oh, sorry, nevermind,” the purple mare said with a small smile. “I was thinking having you talk with Cheerilee about Dinky’s classes around town, but it’s summer, so that doesn’t make much sense.” She waved both hands at the pegasus on the stairs. “Now, go enjoy your shower while I try not to knock anything else over down here.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a fine spymaster one day, princess,” Derpy chuckled as she finally ascended the stairs and returned to the ground floor.

Author's Note

Can't say it's clean, can't say it's great, but after the year I've had, it's better than I hoped for.