Dear Twilight Sparkle
I am sending this letter to inform you that there is a creature of immense power heading towards ponyville. A creature powerful enough to topple whole carriages with a simple headbutt. A goat. I need you to help see the goat out of ponyville, and make sure it doesn't get into any mischief.
-Princess celestia
"What in equestria is a goat?" Twilight wondered, putting the letter aside , and preparing to see the visitor out like the princess had said. Twilight didn't want the goat to destroy anything important...
Twilight left the library early that morning, leaving spike in charge of the library, to meet the unexpected visitor. As the goat walked down the road into town Twilight noticed it looked similar to a donkey, or a mule, but with large floppy ears, crazy eyes, and horns. "Hello, and welcome to ponyville! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I've been sent by princess celestia to help you. What's your name?" Twilight said, cheerfully but nervously.
"Mbaaa" It said, expressionless, as his (or her...?) tongue flopped out its mouth.
"What? I didn't quite catch that." Twilight said, uncertain of what to make of the goat.
"Mbaaa"
"I'll just call you goat for now... Would you like anything? Some nice oats maybe? Or some apple juice? "
"Mbaaa."
Now Twilight was getting a bit agitated, but her better judgement took over... 'Maybe just don't understand its language...' She concluded.
The goat flopped over and started rolling around.
"What...?" Twilight said, confused.
The goat got up as if nothing had happened and headbutted a nearby barrel, sending it flying across town. It licked the barrel next to it and dragged it away.
"I give up!"
This thing was more random than Pinkie Pie! Twilight ignored it and walked slowly back to her library, She had just gotten back when the door flung open with a loud bang. The goat walked in. "Mbaaa"
"Are you following me?! Go away!"
The goat floated up into the ceiling. A large chunk of ceiling fell off and the goat floated higher and higher up.
"Mbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
Twilight slammed her door shut and magically repaired the ceiling.
"I'm going back to bed."
Rainbow dash zoomed through the town, and flew in all kinds of twists, turns, and loops near her house. She nearly got knocked out of the air by a barrel the just barely missed her wing. "Where did that barrel come from?" She wondered aloud. "I should check it out to make sure there's not some kind of fight or something..."
She flew over there, and saw nothing out of the ordinary. She turned to go back to her house, confused. "Where did that barrel come from...?" She was out halfway back when a large gray furred animal fell out of the sky onto her back. "Oww..." She said, rubbing her head. She turned quickly to what fell onto her. "Hey! What's the big deal..." She trailed off as she saw the,,, thing... It looked back.
"Mbaaa"
"Huh?" Rainbow dash questioned.
It screamed at her.
"What?! Did I break something? Do I have something on my face?!" She asked wildly as she panicked.
"Mba"
She deadpanned.
"MBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" It said, and it ran off.
"Hey wait! Get back here!: Rainbow Dash said as she chased it.. "Where did you come from?! How did you fall from the sky without wings?!"
She lost track of it. "Where did it go? And how did it get away from me? I was flying at my top speed! This thing is so strange!"
"HEY DASHIE! WAT'CHA DOING?" Somepony yelled.
The pegasus jumped at the unexpected voice.
"Pinkie Pie! I'm chasing somep- er... something." She said sheepishly. "But I lost it."
"Ooh can I help with that?"
"Ok but be very VERY quiet."
"OK!"
"Pinkie! Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh!" The pegasus said annoyed.
"OK!" Pinkie whispered loudly.
And so they began to hunt.
Applejack came outside, after spending a few hours washing all the apples. She went to grab her wagon, to find it missing. "Big Mac, what have ah told yah about takin' the wagon when I gots to go sell?!"
"Ah ain't took nothin' sis"
Applejack jumped in suprise, not knowing Big Macintosh was behind her (or inside at all for that matter...)."Well where's mah wagon?"
"Ah don't know. Ask Apple Bloom."
"APPLE BLOOM!" She yelled.
"WHAT SIS?!"
"WHERE'S THE WAGON?"
"AH DUNNO! ASK BIG MAC"
"AH ALREADY DID! HE SAID ASK YOU!"
"OH! WELL AH DUNNO!"
She groaned.
A loud crack resounded through the farm. "What was that?" Applejack wondered.
"It was probably another tree. Been happenin' awl morning. I keep findin' em knocked over and chewed on."
"WHAT?! Why didn' yah tell me sooner? If something's hurtin' our crops we gotta stop it!"
"Ah tried to catch it, but the thing to darn fast. Awl it looked like was a grey blur.'
Applejack was determined now. "Ah think ah have the solution."
Half an hour later a rope trap was set around every apple tree, and a loud bell attached to the tree would ring if it were to be set off.
They waited.
"Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock."
"Could yah stop that please Big Mac? We gots to focus now. " Applejack said nervously.
"Sorry sis."
A bell rang.
"mbaaaa"
"What in tarnation was that?!" Applejack shouted.
"I dunno sis, but yah better stay back."
Big Macintosh crept forwards a bit, being careful not to alert the creature trapped in the ropes.
The ropes broke. "Aw no! It broke mah brand new ropes!"
"Oh calm down Big Mac! We need tah catch it!"
The creature was absentmindedly chewing on the trunk of an apple tree.
"Git off of our tree yah... whatever you are!" Applejack yelled.
It let go, and licked her mane.
"What in eque-"
She was cut off, as the thing dragged her away with its tongue. "Big Mac help me! Ah can't get it tah go of mah mane!"
Big Mac fell over laughing, as it dragged Applejack away.
Applejack started to trash around. "BIG MAC HELP ME OR SO HELP ME I'LL KICK YOUR-" She never got to finish that statement, as the goat sprinted away.
"Hold on sis. Ah'm comin' for yah."
Big Mac pulled the tongue off of Applejacks mane with ease, and made sure she was ok. By the time they looked back the goat was long gone. "No harm done sis?"
"No harm done. Ah'm just gonna put'cha on winona duty for the rest of the month."
Big Mac groaned.
"Hey have seen a grey animal guys? It nearly broke my back when it fell out of the air on top of me and it hasn't even APOLOGIZED!" Rainbow dash yelled, suddenly flying in.
"Jus' missed it RD. He went that way Ah think." She said, pointing a hoof over towards the town again.
"Not again! Come on Pinkie let's go tell Twilight about it. Maybe she can help."
"OK!" Yelled the pink pony, appearing seemingly from nowhere. She happily skipped towards Twilights house. "Wait isn't the goat at fluttershys?"
"What was that Pinkie?"
"Never mind! Let's go to Twilights!"
Fluttershy awoke for the morning, and started preparing food for all the animals when she was interrupted by a familiar thump noise. "What is it angel? I'm almost done with your salad right... Now." She stated. The rabbit didn't stop. "Is someone at the door?" The bunny nodded.
Fluttershy opened the door to see somepony(?) standing there. It just stared at Fluttershy. "H- hello...?
"Mbaaa"
Fluttershy jumped in fright.
"G- GOODBYE!" She slammed the door shut.
"Mbaaa"
The thing was in her house.
"Please don't hurt me!" She whispered, cowering in a corner.
The goat ran out back, and jumped out into the everfree forest.
Welcome to CRAZY GOATS WOODLAND ADVENTURES (Pilot)
"MBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Hey! What are you doing with the camera?! No no no NO N-
*static*
"Well pinkie looks like we just missed it..." Said Rainbow Dash
"Oh well. I'm sure we'll see him again someday!"
"Him...?"
"Oh didn't you see his-"
"NEVERMIND!"
"Ok."
The goat slowly walked out of Ponyville.
THE END.
Now if you liked this story, go play goat simulator. NOW.
Bye!!!
