Hmm...Oh...Just...Uh...Being Me.

by Deep Voiced Maniac

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Cake Twins, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Random
Length: 1207

Normal. That`s what I like to say about myself. Other ponies don`t think so...

Eccentric. Weird. Insane. And finally, Crazy. That`s what Pinkie Pie`s been called the past couple years. So, she`ll show them Eccentric, Weird, Insane, and... What`s that last one? Oh yeah, Crazy!

(Note) I apologize for my early comment. I was really mad and lost my temper. I love you guys!

All comments containing negative language will be deleted. Others that have nothing nice to say will be blocked. We`re all bronies, and that means Love and Tolerance, Right?

Published 2014-03-29 04:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-29 04:50:03 UTC

Hmm...Oh...Just...Uh...Being Me...Sike...I`m Being A Bitch!

Pinkie Pie slammed her door shut behind her, the door almost flying off its hinges. "The most uncouth I thing I ever saw." Pinkie mimicked the noble pony. Gosh, why do ponies think shes so weird? Am I weird. Pinkie tapped her chin with her hoof, thinking to herself. Nah.

Pinkie jumped off her bed, staring out the window. She spotted a certain green and purple baby dragon walking by and lifted her window. "Spike, go fuck yourself!" Pinkie yelled at the drake. The baby dragon glared at the party pony before flipping her off. "Oh, now you`re getting it!" Pinkie ripped her door open, sprinting down the stairs.

She ran through Sugarcube Corner`s front door, much to the surprise of the Cakes couple. Spike gulped as Pinkie approached him. Spike ran like a little bitch like the one he his, before being grabbed by a certain pink pony. Pinkie smiled EVILLY and dragged him by the tail.

Spike screamed like a little filly as Pinkie landed hits on the poor baby dragon. Spike screamed as he felt scales being torn off his skin, leaving bare spots. "Pinkie...What are you doing?" came the voice of a certain purple unicorn. Pinkie stopped beating and looked up to the librarian.

Pinkie dropped Spike, running as fast as she could, singing, " And I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran away, I ran all night and day.

Pinkie slowed to halt in front of Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie caught her breath and thought to herself, hey, that was fun!. The bat shit crazy mare spotted a familiar orange earth pony and smiled wickedly.

She walked over to Applejack and bitch slapped her across the face. "What tahay? Pinkie! What was tat fo`?" Pinkie tapped her chin, thinking for a comeback. A fake lightbulb appeared her head, indicating she had an idea.

"Why arent you on a Applejacks cereal commercial?" Pinkie asked the now-shocked cowpony. Wow, it felt nice being a flankhole. Applejack ignored Pinkie and continued her boring-ass job.

Why didnt she get pissed off like Spike. Desperate measures call for...something. Applejacks commercial didn`t work. Oh, I know! Pinkie catched up to Applejack and stepped in front of her. "You know you are the worst of us. You have the least of show time, not taking into consideration you have a small fanbase."

Applejack blinked in confusion and continued on. "I`m not done with you! Cunt! Skank! Bitch!" Applejack stopped at those words. Last time somepony called her that, she was sucking dick on streets of Manehattan.

"Why yabein such a bitch, Pinkie?!" Pinkie smiled. Now it`s working. Pinkie mentally squealed in delight, her ultimate plan to be the biggest bitch ever Is working!

"Why not?" Pinkie said, shrugging her shoulder." I mean Mare of Duty is getting repitive, not to mention the little kids on it. They just shout cuss words into their mics and tell you to suck dick, and they fucked your mother."

"Tatdont explain why yaare bein bitch!" Applejack screamed at the usual nice pony.

"Ooh, saucy! Well-bye-go-fuck-yourself-bitch!" Pinkie said sprinting off, singing along the way, "I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day!

Rainbow snored loudly utop her favorite branch. Must. Fuck. Soarins. Ass. Was what she said as she rested her rainbow mane on a tree branch. Who da fuck sleeps in trees?!

Pinkie tripped on her hooves as soon as she stopped. She looked up at the tree branch, seeing the sleeping sex-drived pony. Pinkie knew she was in heat right now and that`s why she stayed away from her...But.

List of ponies tortured:
Spike, check
Applejack, check
Rainbow the slut, uncheck

Pinkie knew her decision, then! She looked around and found how to wake up Slut! She grabbed the out-of-nowhere twerking stallion and threw at the snoring slut. Rainbow woke up, feeling herself hitting the ground.

"What the fuck, drug addict!" The lazy-ass athlete yelled at the now official bitch. Pinkie, still in cocaine land, acknowledged the screaming mare.

"Oh, we heard you like stallions, so I gave you a stallion inside of stallion." the pink mare spit out. What the fuck, this is like some YTP shit, right here! Rainbow walked over to Pinkie and slapped her.

"No...Just...No." Rainbow started flying upwards, but was stopped by drug ridden teeth clenced on her tail. Rainbow pulled harder, seeing Pinkie still hanging on. She sighed and landed, next to the crazed mare. BAAAAAAAAAD IDEA!

Pinkie grabbed Rainbow and started shitting her in mouth. Pinkie laughed while Rainbow flew up into the air, a sonic rainboom blasting, sending her plummeting towards Pinkie.

"I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day!

The now declared insane pony by three ponies, arrived at a similar library. She laughed mischievously and walked inside. As soon as she entered, she smelled the scent of semen and recoiled. Sitting in the middle room was Twilight and Rarity, fucking.

Pinkie just looked on, shocked. Really Twilight? You could have done SO much better! They realized Pinkie was there, and stopped immediately.

"Oh, Pinkie darling, you must knock." came the voice of a whore.

"Uh...Pinkie...You saw nothing!" Twilight said. in a threatening voice.

"Oh, YES I did!" Pinkie said, smiling like a filly on Heart`s Warming Eve.

Twilight wrapped Pinkie in a field of magic. "Know. You`re. Not!" Twilight yelled at her.

"What the fuck? Stupid bitches waking me up..." Spike grumble as he walked down the stairs. He froze as he saw the scene before him.
Rarity. Twilight. Laying together in bed. Sweating. "Um...Okaaaaaaaay. I`m goooonna gooooooo." Spike slowly walked up the stairs.

Twilight, distracted by Spike, let go of Pinkie. Pinkie smiled and ran out the doors. She ran through the streets, shouting, "TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND RARITY FUCKED! THEY HAD SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME IN BED! THEY BOTTLED THEIR SEMEN AND MADE IT INTO PICKLE SAUCE!"

Lights flickered on throughout the town, due to the unwanted commotion. Twilight and Raritys jaws dropped. Twilight and Rarity both stared at each other before booking after Pinkie, yelling, "PINKIE! WERE GONNA KILL YOU!"

"I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day!

Pinkie when she saw a orange pony, rainbowed mane slut, and two angry looking unicorns.

"I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day!"

"Oh no you don`t!" Two fields of magic wrapped around Pinkie, one purple and one blue. Pinkie struggled around in the magic field.

"Apologize!" they screamed.

"Eenope." She said giving her best Big Mac Burger impression.

AND THEY KILLED PINKIE PIE FOR BEING THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN HISTORY OF THE HISTORY! In the end though, she achieved her goal: Be the biggest bitch ever...

The End...

Author's Note

Yes, Pinkie IS an asshole. Thats the point of the story. Now dont vote just because shes an asshole. Again, she SUPPOSED to be an asshole. Hope you enjoyed! Also, did not do Fluttershy because thats a sin itself. Seriously, it`s one of the seven deadly sins. Look it up.