Applejack Approves Everything

by Palm Palette

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random
Length: 1032

It doesn't matter what it is, but Applejack approves!

It doesn't matter what it is, but Applejack approves!

Published 2014-03-29 19:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-29 19:00:03 UTC

Applejack Approves Everything

The Flim Flam brother's bottle of tonic:
It eases pains and looks planktonic.
It will make real money grow from your fur.
That'll make you happy, of that you'll be sure.
It'll boost confidence; that's a real hoot,
Because it's hardly worth a broken old boot.

Applejack approved!

“Well, Granny Smith seems happier anyway. That's what matters, right?”

Pinkie's theme park that's full of shiny stuff:
Slides and foods and rocks and bright white fluff.
Everypony finds something that she enjoys,
Be it candy or games or plushy toys.
But the grand finale is a huge rock slide,
The lifelike danger will leave you terrified.

Applejack approved!

“I don't know, Pinkie. Are you sure about this?”

Fluttershy's animal adoption game:
You'll leave it with far more limbs than you came.
The wheel of critters, it spins with your fate.
Toucan? Butterfly? It's time to celebrate!
Afraid of spiders or do you hate snakes?
They're yours for life; such are the high stakes.

Applejack approved!

“Uh, well that's one way to do it. Is that really such a good idea, though?”

Rainbow Dash's extreme flying race:
It's the biggest challenge you can face.
It's got loops and hoops and spins galore.
Just when you thought it's safe, it's got more!
It goes through Ghastly Gorge and Sharp Pain Spire.
Those who survive you've got to admire.

Applejack approved!

“That has to be the most foolhardy thing Ah've ever heard of. Are you insane?”

Applejack's arrays of apple wares:
They're picked fresh if anpony cares.
She's got reds and greens and yellows too.
For just a few bits they're all just for you.
Apples, apples, and more apples galore
You'll find a lot of apples in her store.

Applejack approved!

“Like, duh.”

Rarity's outfits of eye-catching glare:
Gems and sequins and baubles everywhere.
Any rich pony with an eye can see
That she's got a flair for fine filigree.
Best viewed at night because of how they're lined.
Lit by day, they can leave a pony blind.

Applejack approved!

“Well, Ah'm sure they're not that ba– Gah, my eyes!”

Twilight's magical spell for changing form:
Want to be a bug or a slimy worm?
It's not just small stuff as you can see;
You could be a hydra with a goatee.
Doesn't this spell just sound inviting?
Who cares if it's random? That's exciting!

Applejack approved!

“Well, Ah guess if you know what you're doing... You, uh, do know what you're doing, right?”

Cutie Mark Crusader investment firm:
Your money's safe there. There's no need to squirm.
They've got a cardboard box with a big lock.
Their contract is written in bright blue chalk.
Nevermind the fact that they want ice cream.
It's not a ploy for bits; it's not a scheme.

Applejack approved!

“That's mighty responsible of y'all. Are you sure you can handle it?”

Lemon Drops' perfume of citrus scents:
Orangish, limey odors for just six cents.
If you want to smell like fruit, she's your mare.
It's potent and permanent, so beware.
Heads will turn when you walk in the room.
They'll turn green from the stench of your perfume!

Applejack approved!

“But I don't even use perfume.”

Mayor Mare's new tax on combing one's hair:
As far as taxes go, that's way out there.
But the city needs bits and that's no lie.
Town Hall's broken, to oversimplify.
So if you want straight hair it costs five bits.
And guess what's next? A tax on popping zits.

Applejack approved!

“That sounds a mite ridiculous Mayor. Can't ya think of something else?”

Sea Swirl's sailboat for the happy mare.
It's up on stilts and just sitting there.
A ride on the sailboat is just pure joy.
Too bad there's no place here to deploy.
Don't let that stop you from buying a ride.
It's just sixty miles to the seaside.

Applejack approved!

“Uh, It's interesting and all—wait, is that a hole in the hull?”

Shoeshine's new line of metal hoofwear:
So what if they're heavy? Just buy a pair.
They're magnetic and that's a lot of fun.
Sharp metal knives will have you on the run.
You'll be fit as a horse. That's quite a thrill.
Don't mind all the pain, or the doctor's bill.

Applejack approved!

“At least they're better than high heels.”

Ahuizotl's plan to bring the sun down:
A giant arch above a temple town.
The star will be caught within a fishnet
And then he'll douse it and make it all wet.
Without the sun, there'll be widespread panic.
He'll do it too; he's just that tyrannic.

Applejack approved!

“What the hay? That would never work. And even if it did, why would anypony even want to do that?”

Cheerilee's field trip for the summer foals:
To educate and spook them are her goals.
They'll see first hoof mighty beasts of prey.
One false step and they'll be filly fillet.
A zoo would be too easy for her class.
Between them and monsters will be no glass.

Applejack approved!

“Have a good trip, Apple Bloom. See ya in a week.”

Trenderhoof's report on Ponyville's mares:
They're all fine ponies who deserve your stares.
Beautiful bodies attached to their tails,
Those rugged fine mares are all tough as nails.
Though the best of the lot is Applejack.
Now that's a mare you should ride piggyback.

Applejack approved!

“Uh, sorry. I kinda spit water all over the place. Ah need to clean this up.”

Raindrops' moving van is having a sale:
Have something heavy you simply can't mail?
She's on the job. She'll go from A to B.
She'll only drop half the stuff. 'Doh, whoopsie.
Even in pieces, it will still get there.
This kind of service you just can't compare.

Applejack approved!

“Shouldn't you tie that down?”

Applejack approves! Applejack approves!
It doesn't matter what it is, but she approves!
Faulty tonic, tax on hair,
Leaky boat, or underwear,
Random spell, or taste in mares,
Risky trip or stinky wares,
Careless service, a filly bank,
Theme park disaster, a plan that stank,
Random pets, Metal hoofware,
Or glaring blinding overwear;
Applejack approves! Applejack approves!
It doesn't matter what it is, but she approves!