“See, little bugger, what happens when you make grown-ups angry?” I roared, a sense of triumph and pride filling my heart, and making me feel estatic, more than I've ever been in life.
Fate, my opponent, like the child he was, was curled up in ball, whimpering, crying and bleeding.
“You... you...”
I walked towards him with a smug grin on my face, sure of my victory and of the celebratory songs and books that were going to be composed for my deed. “You what?”
The timeless toddler weakly kicked my let shin. It didn't caused me pain, but, as warning, I took him for an ankle, and hold him in my grip upside-down.
“Will you ever realize that you have been defeated, by a mortal no less?” Then, I put him back on the “throne,” a light blue small plastic chair, “no matter, however. As winner, I have the right to take something from you, and claim it as my prize for my victory.”
I noticed that Fate's belt was glowing around his waist. Apparently, it didn't suffered damage during the beatdown I've done to the owner, unlike the night dress and his adsorbent underwear. I extracted a knife from my pocket, and, kneeling on the kid, I tried to cut the belt.
However, as soon as I put the blade in-between the bare divine flesh of Fate and the belt, from my right came a his and a slam.
“Master! Master! What's going on?!” That voice... it sounded like the one of the Great Ferryman.
Then, another slam came, this time from my left.
“Fate! Why are you crying?” It was Ernico's.
I looked around me, and saw my suspicios confirmed: on the left, I had Ernico, dressed in a checkered blue shirt with a white scarf around his neck, and jeans. Turning my head on the right, I saw, for the first time, the true form of the Ferryman, namely, a light blue smoke with two clocks as eyes and a bear trap as mouth.
I tried to quickly cut the belt, but, for some reasons, it didn't work. In my peripheral filed of vision, I could see the Ferryman taking... something sharp in his etheral hands. Realizing it was going to throw that to me, I extracted the knife quickly, leaving a deep wound in Fate's flesh; and, keeping my head low, I backed away from the plataform, a javelin arching over me. Once I was far anough from the platform, I took out my ARX, and pointed it at the Ferryman, hoping to intimidate him.
The damn Ferryman laughed. “You weapons can't kill me, mortal.”
Angry, I aimed at the clocks-eyes, and pressed the trigger, causing a burst of bullets come out from the firearm. The recoil caused me to almost lose control of the weapon, sending some bullets in the ceiling or on the walls, but, still, some of them hit the clock, breaking the glass and spreading gears around the floor.
The Ferryman screamed bloody murder, and tried to take the fallen gears.
“My weapons can't kill, but invulnerability ain't so hot when you can't see, huh?” That said, I looked back at the throne, and saw Ernico taking out the belt from Fate's waist and wearing it on his: seeing the opportunity, I quickly strapped my ARK on my back, took out my knife once again, and ran towards my brother, aiming for his lungs.
Clearly hearing me coming, Ernico pull out the belt without too many cerimonies and rolled on the left, going down the few steps of the platform. Before I could stop my momentum, I tripped on the platform, hitting with my chin the elevated floor. When I got up, Ernico had already tied the belt to his large waist, result of years of fatassing.
“Brother, stay back and don't shoot, or else!” He shouted, while waving his arms, with a voice that really wanted to transmit authority, but failed to do, and transmitted pants-pissing fear instead.
My hands lowered on the pistol's holster. “Or else what? You are gonna infect me with your stupidity?”
My brother clearly started to sweat. “Look, I really don't want to do this. You have to believe me, really, I didn't wanted to hunt you down, I didn't want to...”
Before he could finish, i grabbed my gun, and pointed at him. “No.”
Ernico whispered something then, from nowhere, a blue portal was created.
I snickered, and raised my gun.
“What a great aim we have here, Ernic...” Before I could finish, the Ferryman pushed me in the portal.
“I will get you, Ernico! I don't care if you serve a god, I don't care if you are the favourite of the Toddler, I will find you again, AND STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!”
Then, when the whirlwinds and the thunders started to go in circles around me themselves around me, I closed my eyes, and awaited uncoscioussness to overtake me.
When I woke, I felt smaller, weaker, cold, and, somehow, I was feeling something soft behind my head. Something like... a pillow. I slowly opened my eyes for scan my surrondings, and see where I was.
With some struggle, my heavy eyelids opened at a slow pace like the metal shutters of a long-closed shop, if the metal shutters could have self-awarness.
Anyway, I saw in front of me the arm of a green old sofa, and a tartan blanket over my body. Rotating my head, I could see on the left the seatback fo the sofa, and, on the right, a iuta rug with a brown and white cat sleeping over it.
The surrondings still didn't give me any clues about my position. Since I needed and wanted to know where I was, I decided to move: slowly uncovering my front limbs from the blanket, I saw that they were brown, and without fingers, sign that I was in a body of a pony, and thus, still in MLP's wordl.
Once I realized that, I stretched myself upwards, then, after throwing away the tartan plaid with my frotn hooves, I rotated myself, then I dropped myself on the floor on my fours.
I saw a door in front of me. Near the door, an old-looking drawer, and over the drawer a picture representing a still life. I also saw a pair of empty birdcages, and a pair of small dogs sleeping under the drawer. The windows were small, round, and with the shutters down, causing the entire room to be badly lit. I could see in the corners of the room some more sleeping animals... or were they scultures?
I honestely could not tell with that little light, and I didn' care enough.
While I was trying to figure out where I was, I heard some steps coming from somewhere. Looking at the source behind me, I saw in the dime light some strairs.
Unsure what to do, I decided to go back to the sofa, and stay there a bit more, awaiting to see how the things weregoing to deleplov.
So I went back the green sofa, I placed the palid back on myself, and awaited.
I waited, waited and waited, the footsteps growing and growing, until, thanks to the dime light, I could see a bipedal figure approaching me. I perked up my ears, and scanned the figure, until it stepped in a well-illuminated zone, revealing...
By the size, I could tell it was a child dressed in a red shirt, blue jeans as trousers, and the faint sparkling of perfectly-kept glasses.
A human child. Apparently unaltered. While I was a legal adult in a foal's body.
“E che cazzo, un' è mica giusto!” I shouted in anger.
The kid backed down and said something with a voice whose frequency was lower than the dog whistles' tune.
I narrowed my eyes, and lowered my ears in non-understanding.
“Scusi?”
“I... I didn't want to disturb you...” Said the little boy, this time with an unsure voice.
I smriked at the statment.
“I have no problems with that. However, I wonder why the fuck you are a human, while I am a foal. I mean, the existence of humans is still a State Secret in Equestria, right?”
The kid shrugged, as he said with his soft and shrill voice “I don't know. My momma tells me that I am the only one here in Equestria.”
My eyes widened in surprise.
“Wait, what? Did you just defineid as a parent a pony?”
“Yes, what's the problem with that?”
I looked at him, baffled beyond belief: unless the kid was a foal turned into a human by freaky accident, this meant that he also came in Equestria by Fate's manipulation. And, somehow, the kid managed to get adopted by a pony, despite the fact he was an alien creature.
By this point, I need to know how he could do that.
After a small cough, I said.
“Yes, it surprises me. I mean, you are alien to this wordl. Who is the benefacotr that decided to take the burden of grow an alien creature in his house?”
He looked like a bit offened by my stamtnet about the burden, but he soon took his amplomb back, and said.
“My adopter is Fluttershy.”
Well that made sense. Now it was time to know his name.
Stretching my left hoof, I said.
“Sorry for not have aksed it earlier. I am Venicio 'The Fateless' of Massarosa. Who are you?”
Ignoring my gesture, he said.
“My name is Toby Manson. Nice to meet you, Venicio.”
"So," I said, while I took a more comfortable position on the green couch "tell me: what were the circumstances of my finding?"
Toby leaned on the drawer, awaking the small dogs sleeping underneath it, and causing a couple of seconds of dogs yapping, and Toby trying to shut them up.
Once the situation was calm again, he said.
"I was walking with my momma in the fields around the cottage, when I saw you under a tree, looking beaten up. I called Fluttershy, and told her about it: she said to put you on her back immediately, and come back to the cottage. She put you on the couch, covered you with that plaid, lowered the shutters, took some money from the drawer, and left me take care of you."
"And where is she now?"
"She is in town, I think she went there for take something for you."
"Well, it was nice for her, to take me in her house, despite not knowing me. Then, again, foal's body and Element of Kindness. Now," I asked "before we go on could you please raise the shutters? This room is illuminated worse than a set of a horror B-movie."
The kid, after giving a quick "Yes," went towards the windows, and raised the shutters, causing the sun rays to come in, and causing the disorganized flight of some bats and owls that were hanging on the wall or on the perches.
After a brief moment of blindness, I could finally see the details of my surroundings, like the eye and hair color of the boy. Also, I discovered that, apparently, Fluttershy like to pile statue in the corners for no apparent reason at all.
The boy sat near me, and, after making himself comfortable, he said.
"Want something to eat?"
I put my hoof under my chin in thought for a brief second, before saying.
"Nah. I've already had a huge breakfast in Celestia's castle, before going into Fate's playroom and defeat the owner. Or, at least, try to do it, since my brother Enrico, with the help of the Great Ferryman, managed to push me in a portal towards this Equestria."
Toby raised his eyebrows, squinted his little eyes, and leaned forward.
"Fate? Breakfast at Celestia's Castle? What are you talking about?"
I retracted my head and blushed in embarassment.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot. You don't know my story." I said as I pretended to take a cigarette and lit it.
"See, it all begun five years ago, when I was still on Mother Earth. At the time, I was enjoying the newfound peace that ruled my household between me, my two brothers Enrico and Franco, and my sister Diana, all older than me."
Toby leaned forward in interest.
"See, the relation that exists, and existed, between me and my siblings was not... positive. They made my life miserable, I guess out of envy or insanity. As I said before, I've managed to create an unstable peace."
I sighed, thinking back how my life used to be less messier back then.
"Naturally, that could not last: while I was cycling to school, a blue light appeared, and dragged me into a white room with a red sofa in the middle. I was scared at first, but soon I decided to just get over it, and sit on the sofa. What happened next changed my life completely."
"You reached the Other Equestria?" Asked Toby, as to anticipate me. I nodded.
"Yes. I woke up in a little foal's body, lying under an apple tree in Applejack's orchards. When Applejack found me, she decided to adopt me, unaware of my true identity of 16 years old."
Once again, the little boy interrupted me.
"Why you didn't tell Applejack that you weren't a baby pony?"
I shrugged.
"Because I could speak only Latin and Italian back then. Better yet, I could understand her and everyone else, but not answer back. Anyway, back on narration: when Applejack tried to integrate me to the family, they accepted me pretty quickly. The only one truly objection was Granny Smith, but, for all reasons and purpose, she was an urn full of ashes already, at least concerning decisions like that. I tried to do whatever was in my power to get back to my home, or, at least, ge understood by somebody, but to no avail: only a lucky encounter with Silver Spoon could convince Twilight and Applebloom that I was a sixteen years old, and not a seven months old.
You might ask 'why didn't you go back to Earth then?' The answer is one and one only.
Fate, the one that controls everybody in every world and that happens to be a retarded toddler, accidentally let me see my future and let me choose my destiny. Seeing that I was going to die soon forgotten by everybody on Earth, I decided to stay in Equestria, and thus fulfilling my destiny of long life, a new bloodline, and fame.
For five years, I just enjoyed life as much I could do in this puny body. Then, five years later from my decision, Fate decided to take my revenge on me: that damn toddler made an alliance with my brothers. As far as I know, the conditions were something along the lines 'if you bring Venicio's head to my throne, I will reward you with a better destiny.'
At first I tried to train myself to combat, to prepare me to defeat them when the time when they returned, by training myself in the art of fencing. Then, one night, I had a nightmare, and, for some reasons, Luna kidnapped me and brought me to the Royal Palace. Long story short, There I met Indiva, son of Cadance and Shining Armour, the latter two, and Princess Celestia; I killed Franco in the dungeons; I killed Diana in a staged public speech; and I managed to reach Fate's Playroom.
I beat Fate to pulp with my bare hands, and insulted him for a while.
However, when I was taunting Fate once more, my brother Ernico and one of Fate's servants bursted in, and fought me, and managed to push me into a portal. And here I am."
When I terminated my narration, I looked at Toby, and saw a shocked expression on his little face.
Wondering about the reason for Toby's shock, I asked.
"What's the matter?"
Toby looked around him, unsure.
"Y-you killed your brothers?"
I shrugged, like if Toby had asked me if I could breath.
"Yes, I did. And so? It's not that impressive, also because I have yet to claim the spoils of Enrico."
Toby twitched, as his face tried to come out with a definite emotion but failed to do so, maybe because he was now afraid of me, maybe because he could not believe to his young ears.
"You... I mean... I... I cannot compute this."
Only then I realized the fuck-up I had just done, and so tried some damage control.
"Are you afraid I will kill you? Son, or, better yet, young host, I am not a cackling lunatic that likes the taste of blood of innocents. I just killed two person in justifiable homicide!"
Smiling, I said.
"Besides, killing you, my host, would be dishonorable under the principles of the xènia, and killing you will just ruin my coat."
The kid let out a nervous laugh.
Somehow, Toby seemed a little more relaxed, but still on high alert.
As an attempt to get him to relax, I decided to let him narrate his story.
"So, tell me Toby, how did you manage to get in Equestria?"
Toby stood up, said "Lemme take a glass of water first," took a glass of water from the tap in the nearby kitchen, and came back to the couch I was sitting on.
