Oh, Fuck! Skeletons!

by Noted Sir

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sex, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Zecora, Main 6
Length: 979

Everything in Ponyville is getting fucked up by skeletons! Jesus Christ! They're everywhere!

Skeletons have arrived in Ponyville and they are fucking up everything and everyone in their path! Jesus Christ! They're Everywhere!

Published 2014-03-31 04:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-31 04:10:04 UTC

Oh, Fuck! Skeletons!

So, this one time, that Zebra bitch did some crazy VooDoo shit, but everything got fucked up. A shitload of skeletons came out of the ground and started walking all creepy. They were scary as fuck. Zebra bitch decided they were probably the scariest fucking things she had ever seen but then she changed her mind because they remind her of the babe. She named them all Maurice. She was very horny and so was Maurice. They started boning. Meanwhile, Maurice gave the signal to Maurice, like that shit they do in the Navy and all the skeletons walked to Ponyville.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were doing some shit on the edge of town that was most likely irrelevant to anything important that anyone else was doing at that time. Sweetie Belle went up to Scootaloo and was all like, "Go into the woods, bitch!" and Apple Bloom egged the little pony on with a poultry-based insult. This was most likely because, not unlike Scootaloo, if you gave me a baby chick, for one I'd be all like "Aww! That's so fucking cute!" but then I also wouldn't be able to tell you whether it was a male or female. So, after a good couple minutes, it had decided to indulge its friends' requests. Sure enough, like ten seconds later, Scootaloo came screaming out of the woods followed by a thousand fucking skeletons.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were like, "What a fucking wuss" but then they were being chased by skeletons.

Rainbow Dash saw the whole thing and was laughing her ass off but then she fell and got fucked up by skeletons.

Fluttershy was fucking around with rabbits or some shit and then Scootaloo drove up and was like "Fuck! Fucking skeletons! Hide me from those fucking skeletons!" and then Fluttershy, being the polite pony that she was, pointed out an empty chicken coop which would suit its needs.

Scootaloo was all like "Fak u Bich" and drove off just before fluttershy got fucked up by skeletons.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom ran home to tell their sisters about how many skeletons there were and how fucking scary they are, but, as it turned out, they already got fucked up by skeletons.

Big Mac was picking apples and a bunch of skeletons showed up out of nowhere. He was like, "NOPE." and got right the fuck out of there. Maurice grabbed a couple of apples because he liked apples, but then Maurice reminded him that he was a skeleton and he got right the fuck out of there. Then Big Mac and Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were getting ready to fuck up some skeletons, but there were too many, then Big Mac and Apple Bloom got fucked up by skeletons. Granny Smith got fucked by skeletons.

Pinkie Pie was being a spastic fuck and annoying the shit out of everyone in the town square. She had been explicitly told to get the fuck out because she was scaring the children so she moved over to Twilight's treehouse. When Twilight opened the door to let pinkie in she made some shitty joke about how the place had really fallen to shit since Nigel Uno died of Leukemia, to which Twilight gave a sarcastic guffaw as Pinkie let herself in. Then there was another knock on the door, so Twilight looked out to find Scootaloo in quite a stupor. Scootaloo made the same Kids Next Door joke and Pinkie Pie was like, "OMG! I SAID THE SAME THING!"

Scootaloo was like, "FUCK YEA THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD SHOW!" and then they talked about how awesome KND was for like an hour before Scootaloo remembered about all of the skeletons that were rapidly approaching. Just then, a bunch of skeletons knocked down the door to the treehouse.

Twilight said some bullshit about the Uncanny Valley, but then she got fucked up by skeletons.

Spike was too busy masturbating to pictures in old medical books to notice and then he got fucked up by skeletons as well.

I guess now is as good a time as any to mention that Sweetie Belle also got fucked up by skeletons somewhere else.

Scootaloo and Pinkie Pie were able to escape. They took Twilight's hot air balloon to warn Princess Celestia about all of the skeletons ravaging her kingdom. The whole time they were talking about how this was kinda like that one episode of KND with the lice and the nacho cheese. They both agreed that that episode was pretty fucking cool.

The two arrived at Celestia's castle and were like, "Celestia! Everyone is getting fucked up by skeletons down there!"

Then Celesia was like "We need to assemble the Elements of Harmony!"

To which Pinkie Pie was like, "All of them got fucked up too! Last Man Standing, Bitches!" and then Celestia and Scootaloo nodded at eachother like, "Yep, we're fucked."

Pinkie Pie was like, "Guys, how fucked are we?" but she couldn't finish her joke because skeletons came rushing in through the door. Pinkie went super saiyan and fucked up the skeletons. She was all proud and shit and she started jumping around the room. Celestia and Scootaloo were super excited and relieved so they started talking about how fucking cool that was and how scary the fucking skeletons were and how Pinkie gave one of them the most brutal piledriver they'd ever seen.

Panting, Pinkie Pie came back up to the two of them and was like, "So...anyway...how...guys...how fucked...guys? Hello? Are you gonna listen to me?" But they kept talking and shit so Pinkie gave them both the Stone Cold Stunner. Obviously, both were out cold because no one gets up from the Stunner, except maybe The Rock. She stood triumphantly over both of them before yelling at the top of her lungs:

"SKULLFUCKED!"