Falling into the Nightmare

Chapters

Chapter 1: Probably a New Life*
Chapter 2: Ponies..wtf?
Chapter 3: Love is in the air*
Chapter 4: Welcome to Ponyville, bitch!
Chapter 5: Magic and Wolves
Chapter 6: New Friends, yay!
README.TXT
*Update on the Story

Chapter 1: Probably a New Life*

Today is just like any other day, wake up, wash yourself, pack your backpack, go to school, learn some useless junk, then come back home. Yes, it's just like any ordinary day, but for me, no, for me, everyday is a living hell. Wake up, have a cold shower, pack my backpack, try not to get on a fight with my alcoholic father, get bad grades at high-school, then come back home to be beated by both of my parents.

My name is Jake Normalh, I'm 19 years old, I got short dark hair, I am tall and I am of medium build, cause my parents never let me go to a gym, and I have really, I MEAN REALLY BAD GRADES. Seriously, I even got a F for not having my equipament, and at some math tests, I am lucky if I get C. Anyways, the reason for my grades is because...my life is shit. I won't get a job because of my grades, my parents don't even love me, and I don't have any friends.

"Jake, could you tell us the answer from page 134, exercise 17?" Mr. Lerry asked. Right now I was attending the Math Class, and if you don't know how to math, then, boy, you're in trouble. Really. Big. Trouble.. I woke up, got up from my chair, I was surprised by this. Mr Lerry was rarely asked me to do math problems.

"Uhhh....18?" I said, with a confused look. The whole class started laughing, pointing their fingers at me. Then I looked at the problem, there were no numbers, just x and a and shit like that.

"Jake, would an F help you into paying attention?" He asked, with a deadpan look, looking directly at me.

"Um...no Mr. Lerry, I promise I will be pay more attention and be more into it next time" I said, scratching my neck, looking at the ground.

"I hope that is going to happen....Alright class, the next exercise consist in Pythagora's Formula" He continued, writing at the blackboard.

Phew, I was so close, I couldn't afford an F, my parents would kill me, literally.

After school is over, I started heading back home. I hope my parents are going to remember that today it is my birthday, and I am turning 20.

When I opened the door, I took a glance at my mother, she was cooking something in the kitchen, it was, I think, salad? Oh god, I haven't ate anything but leftovers just because of my grades. She has not payed attention to me while I was taking my jacket off. It was almost like I did not exist.

"Uhm, mom, do we have salad for dinner?" I said, confussed. I hope she knew about my birthday.

"No, this is for our uncle, Donald. We are going to visit him today, I am hoping that he will give us his money after he dies." She said, still not looking at me. She spoke as she took a bowl and put the salad in it, then wrapped it up nicely.

"Then what can I eat tonight, I haven't bought anything." I asked as I took a peek at my stomach, I was pretty skinny. I kept staring at it for a couple of seconds until a growl came out. "Mom. Please."

"There is some bread on the counter" She stated, pointing towards it.

"But, I thought, you know, eat some real food, because, it's my birthday after all." I asked using a sad tone before I started to slowly eat the bread.

"And? I don't give a shit about your birthday, maybe your dad will not beat you this time." She said while mixing the salad with some carrots.

That hit me like a bullet, some tears already started to drift from my eyes. Shaking my head, I head upstairs and crash into my shitty bed. There was nothing to do in this life, my parents won't even care if I die, neither any class-mates. Then I realised....maybe I should suicide.

No, think about that, maybe you could get a job, and buy a house, and live without them. Suicide isn't going to help you. My brain said using a worried voice.

Nobody would ever hire me, I have the worst grades in the school. After I finish it, my parents will throw me out of the house, screaming at me to find a new house.

But maybe you can try to learn. Maybe you can try to get better grades. Maybe you can try not to be such a lazy whore. And when you do, the first thing that is going to happen is YOU laughing in their face.

No, you don't understand, my life has no point, there's nothing you can do about.

But-..Everyone's life has a point, you have been sent to earth for a reason, all-

Enought! It's my decision, and my decision is to suicide, and what if get into the Hell, maybe I could get some friends there.

You are going to go to hell for this. And trust me, you'll cry.

Yeah, whatever, tommorow is my last day. And I will show you that nothing could make this life get better.

Let's hope someone with more brain cells than you is going to help you, tommorow. Let's just hope... That you're not a pathetic loser which gives up on his life that easily.

Yeah whatever.

After finishing my brain discusion, I started to drift into sleep.

The sunrays started to creep into my room from the broken window, covering my whole face. After I woke up, I headed towards the shower, only to be stop after noticing someone is already taking a shower. Well looks like my mom stole my morning shower. Forgetting this, I got my clothes from my diry closet and dressed up. I packed up my backpack and started heading towards the highschool.

I walk down the corridors of the school and finally arive at my English Class, I open the door and see my coleagues, I sat down on my bench and began the waiting game.

Mrs. Rebecca entered the classroom, she had an angry look. Oh boy, this isn't good, either somebody will get a detention or another bad grade, just for their 'personal' collection, and that person would either be me or Johnson.

"Mister Jake, can you show the class your homework." She asked taking a glance at me. If intense stares could give people heart attacks then I would die right now.

OH SHIT! I forgot to do my homework. What excuse can I make up? I'm sorry Mrs. Rebecca, but the thought about killing myself has made me forget about my homework...that's a great idea! I thought about it for a second before faking the best poker face ever.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Rebecca, but my dog ate my homework." Wow, such an original excuse. Shut up brain, it's all I got okay? I was hoping for this to work.

Then, THE WHOLE CLASS started laughing at me, again. That's when my teacher facepalmed, she wrote down in the catalogue for the English Class an big F with my excuse on it, so others teachers could see it, great!

Well, today school was pretty much the same, got another warning and got beaten up by the bullies from the school's footbal team. While heading towards my house, the pain from my bruise started to hurt me again. I tried to open the door, didn't work... What the hell, did my parents forgot to give me the right key again?

I started to hit the door with my fists, yelling "Mom, what the hell, why is the door locked?"

The door was locked from the outside, I could hear my mom saying "You're old enough to have a house now! From this day, you will no longer live here!" I started to panic, my parents hated me, not that it was something new, I already knew they hated me but now they wouldn't even let their own son inside their house.

"Hahaha, really funny mom, but seriously, it's starting to get cold outside. Now open the goddamn door." I laughed nervously, thinking they're only messing with me again.

"No, you need to learn to be a real fucking man, like your uncle, now get the fuck away from my house you twat! Before I call the cops!" She replied. I was shocked, I couldn't believe that my life was getting worse than it already was right in this moment!

Lowering my head down, I started to walk away, tears flowed throught my eyes. Now, thinking of this situation, my brain lied to me, he told me I could change, he told me my life could be changed into something better if I TRY, but this turned to be worse than I though. Now, it's time, I'm going to suicide.

You did not try to have a better life, all you did was wake up and hope for the better, you have forgot your homework, you have made your parents hate you soo much because of your grades that they kicked you out like garbage. Maybe you don't deserve a life, you don't even try. So go on, kill yourself, I dare you.

I already told you that nothing can change this... killing myself is my only choice now!

You can make a change, but you don't want to.

It's only your fault that you always forget to help me at math test, now there ISN"T ANYTHING YOU CAN DO!

Is it my fault that you did not OPEN a book nor did you try to learn from it. I have nothing to help you with at the math test because I LEARN FROM YOUR ACTIONS, WHAT YOU TEACHED ME IS TO NOT LEARN ANYTHING.

Okay, now, all is lost for me, tell me, my gorgeous brain, WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO NOW, GO TO JAIL???

Two choices: Get a lame ass job and work hard. To make a change. And maybe try to go to a lame ass school too. Then advance.

The second choice is to kill yourself, yeah, kill yourself. Just let it all out. Your guts. I hope it is going to hurt you.

Yeah, I think killing myself would be a better idea, I don't even want to live on this planet anymore.

You really are a lost cause aren't you...Fine, do as you prefer, you'll remember these words, my words, in hell.

Fine.

Now, I was thinking, how could I kill myself, jumping from a building? Neah, I could survive.

Buy a gun, it's easier that way. Shoot yourself right into the brain, aka me. Have a pleasant death.

Yeah, good idea, oh wait, I don't have money...

Steal one, die trying. You don't need anything right now, you want to die. So. Go rogue. Do shit.

As I was walking down the street I thought: There aren't any gun shops in the city. Who could possibly have a gun, OH! A cop...of course. There are lots of cops patrolling the town.

I hope you're going to get arrested so you won't suicide at least..Oh wait, you may die in prison.

Don't worry Brainy, I will grab his gun and I won't waste the time...I will shoot myself right between the eyes.

With my luck, I found a policeman walking beside some shops. I saw his gun on his belt, a black Glock.

My eyes started to sparkle, then, in a flash of second, I started to run towards the cop!

I quickly struck the cop from behind. I did not want to waste not even a second more on this world. I grabbed the gun then pointed it to my head...

"Hey, what the fuck are you doin-..." The cop didn't even finish his sentence before turning around, his ears were ringing from the gunshot. The sound made him dizzy.

He found me on the ground, lifeless, with a big red puddle behind my head.

"Officer Tenkeny, we got a situation here, code 69 red, the man, a caucasian male of around 17 years old commited suicide with my gun. Request imediatelly medical service, Str. Walhart Nr.27, over." Tenkeny spoke to his radio station. I was laughing so hard when he tried to revieve me. There's no way in hell that I could still live after shooting myself like that. Speaking of hell, I found myself floating in a black void, it was weird, I was hoping there would be a giant gold gate and some clouds. But here's absolutely nothing.

"Helllllooo? Anybody 'round here?" I yelled. Nope, nobody here, nobody could hear me scremaing, nobody could know what I feel right now.

After waiting for around 5 minutes, a big white light appeared in front of me. I covered my eyes, the light was sooo bright and so....warm?

Before I could say anything, the light started to approach me, then without any introductions, I got unconscious.

Chapter 2: Ponies..wtf?

Black, that was all I could see. I tried to open my eyes, but they won't obey. There was a powerful wind blow near me, since my clothes were getting blown by the wind.

The relaxing sound of the wind blow were so calming, I could fall asleep right there, in that moment, but, suddenly sudden my eyes widened and the next thing I saw made me pee in my pants.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT" I was screaming like a little girl. Right now, I was falling from the sky. About 3.000 feets were between me and the ground. While I was trying not to panic, I saw some mountains, they looked beautiful, and...is that a....castle on the side of those other mountains? My god..is that a village, or town, or I don't know....

I could see that there were no skyscrapes. Looking down I saw a veeery big forest and a farm near a big orchard. In the middle of the big forest, there was a ruined...castle? But that doesn't matter now, it matters that I'm falling with over 100km/h, but with my luck I'd be falling directly into a big pond. Guess my luck started to vanish, 'cause I don't think falling into water with such speed would make me survive. Now I was embracing myself for the impact to come so I put my arms over my head in defense, hopping it won't hurt when I will crash that bad when I crash. Not that it would matter. I'd be dead.

...

"Wait, why can't I feel wate-..." SPLASH!! I hit the water like a torpedo, because of my luck, it did not hurt, I got dragged down into the deeps and tried to swim back to the surface...And with great effort, I finally did it. I swimmed to land and when I got on my feet the water apparently had me soaking wet, my hair, my chest, my legs, but, checked both my legs and arms, they were intact.

I sat down on the ground and while trying to clean my lungs of water AKA coughing badly, I saw that, the whole forest looked....cartoonish?

If god is trying to mess with me, then he did a fucking great job!

Shaking my head to clean my ears of water, I asked "Where the fuck am I?"

Told you this won't be a good idea, but noooo, why you would listen to your own brain faggot?

Shut up, we don't have time for this, better get moving, maybe I could find someone explain where I am.

Oh, and now you're smart all of the sudden. I guess death is a good thing. Well, you're obviously in a jungle.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Ignoring him, I remember that there is a castle near this pond, maybe I could find some loot and food. My stomach is already grumping.

After a couple o' goddamn minutes of walking, I found the castle, and because of my luck the doors were open, just on time, the sun was setting.

The castle is really old.... there are lots of destroyed antiquities here, and the roof has a big hole in it,the sun rays come through it, giving this place a spectacular lightning. There were some banners that were showing...colored ponies? Hmmm, maybe I got in the medieval age...Of ponies.

"Hello, anyone here?" I yelled, trying to see if there is anyone around this creepy castle, I'm really hungry right now.

Only a faint wind blow could be heard, this place was surely abandoned. There's better going to be food here.

I walked in some kind of a hallway, there were like horses armor on its side, but they were too small, maybe for ponies, but why the fuck would ponies need armor?

After taking a corner, there was another hallway, but this one was having doors on its sides. I picked a random door then tried opening it, but it was locked. Great, abandoned and locked! How wonderful!

After ten minutes of locked doors, I finally found one that is open. Pecking inside, there was nobody in there.

Getting inside, there was a HUUUGEEEE bed, a red wardrobe, a desk, a broken windows, and a CHEST!

Thank god the chest was unlocked. I found some dust, some leftovers such as old rotten apples and some dusty ol' bread that couldn't even be eaten. At the bottom of it, I found a rusty small spear, I took it of course, better be safe than not having anything.

I wander around the castle for a couple more minutes before going outside...it was already nighttime, on the sky the stars were sparkling bright. It was very beautiful. Continuing my way, I hear footsteps, I started to tiptoe my way towards them. After doing so, I finally find myself in front of some big ass door. There was an symbol drawn in its center....a ....sun....and a moon beneath it. I crouched and began to eavesdrop, I could hear a feminine voice coming from inside.

"Foolish Celestia, thinking that I won't try to take over Equestria with my beautiful night. Her sun is worthless against what I can do with the moon." The voice started to yell from the inside

Celestia, who the fuck is Celestia?

I don't know, maybe being in hell fucks up your perspective about names and shit. I mean, Celestia. That's a pretty cool name, I like it, don't you.

"SHUT UP, I don't need your bullshit now." I screamed, not thinking that the woman could hear me.

"What is that? Which pony dares to disturb me, NightMare Moon, the Princess of the Night!" The woman's voice gradually could be heard louder, she was coming. After regaining my composure, I started to run like hell, into a random hallway.

Ponies, what the fuck is going on dude?

Ponies, are you sure you don't want to have some sexy time with them later, don't you?

What the fuck brain, maybe that fall from the sky fucked your brain cells up.

Ignoring it, I started to fatigue. Its not my fault that I did not heaving a big stamina.

Chapter 3: Love is in the air*

I started to run like a pussy, I never tried to fight with somebody neither defending myself in my life. Running down a long hallway, I found a partially open door and because I did not want to waste any time I got into the room and closed the door after me. I felt down on my ass, tired of that pursuit, breathing heavily.

"You can't hide foul, nightmare will haunt you 'till your death if you don't show yourself." She yelt, unknowingly of my actual location. Letting my eyes adjust to the room light level of the room, which was really low by the way...I found that this room was even bigger than the ones before. There was a giant double bed, a big wardrobe, lots of bookshelves, and some desks, and a long window-wall, which is was some sort of window, that allow anybody in this room to see what's outside. The moon was casting a light blue light on the room, making everything more clear now.

Brainy, what the fuck should I do, maybe she is crazy, about ponies or whatever. But now, I don't even know where I am

Kill yourself again? Hint Hint. Oh, and you're in a castle, in a room, a dark one, and she's probably going to find you.

You're not helping, asshole!

I know!

Damn, what a dick! I rose to my feet and started wondering if these books could help me understand what the fuck is going on here.

I am surpised you know how to read.

Shut up!

I grabbed a book called 'The History of Equestria - How it was Made'. I opened it and tried to read the first page...it was pretty hard to read in the darkness.

10 Minutes Later...

Okay, I'm done with this, I probably have read about 50 pages from now.

Don't lie, we both know you only read 10.

Ok, so this place is called Equestria and there are 2 'alicorn' 'gods' that control the sun and the moon. One is called Princess Celestia and the other Princess Luna, and you won't believe, this place is populated with multicolored ponies and there are 3 diferent races: Unicorns, Pegasus, and Earth Ponies, all of them having special features like wings, horns, and for Earth Ponies they have more power than the others...and they even talk, all of them. They got a palace called Canterlot, in which the 2 'alicorn' 'gods' live, and lots of rich ponies. But there is a pony called Nightmare Moon which....

BAMP!

"HAHA, you thought you could hide from me you...wait...what are you? Don't answer, you shall pay for interrupting my plans!"

That woman...PONY is actually THE Nightmare Moon itself, THE Princess of The Night.

Her fur was completely black, like the night sky without starts, her mane was a deep transparent blue, floating in an inexsistend wind, and was having sparkles that were like constellations. She was also having a crescent moon on her flank, which it was her 'cutie mark' but I didn't read too much about it .She also seems to wear pony armor.

Suddenly, before I could reply, her horn started to glow then a BIG FIREBALL was shot towards me. Shit, I quickly crouch in an attempt to dodge it, luckily that's exactly what I did...the fireball crashed into the wall, leaving a black mark on it.

"Wait! I can explain, just please don't kill me!" I sreamed, looking directly into her eyes. My words must've really got to her since the glow on her horn fadded away.

"You have 2 minutes to explain. Go on" She said, closing her eys, and waving her left front hooves, pointing me to continue.

"Well this is going to sound weird, but....I don't know where I am and why I am here. First my name is Jake,and I'm a human. I have 20 years old and I got a shit life in my world...IF you could say that....So I decided I should commit suicide...I did so and...I got here...I felt from the sky into a big pond and almost drowned...I saw this castle and I realised it is near the pond, so I decided my best shot at survival is to come here and scavange for supplies, this seemingly abandoned place...I searched every single bit of it and all I have found were locked rooms...Until...I heard a voice, your voice to be precise. Anyways, I ran away from you because I did not want to interfere with your stuff, I only seeked to come here in peace, I don't want to derrange." I said in around 40 seconds then took a heavy breath.....

Maybe this pony would make you her sex slave... I would love to put my twinkle dickie into her. So don't fuck up.

SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN,I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.

Grinning my teeth from that fucking quote with my brain, her smile started to become wider...then she started to approach me slowly. Every step she makes towards me, I back up with one step.

My back collided to the wall, realising that I am pretty much trapped for the moment I started to panic. She was now soo close to me...So I decided that she's going to kill me anyways so I might as well look like a badass and make steps towards her. Hell, I might even scare her or something.

I was now inches away from her face...eyes to eyes...nose to nose...mouth to mouth.

KISS HER DUDE, I WANT TO GET LAID TONIGHT...WITH A PONY!!!!!

Fuck off...

Then, her smile quickly faded away, she started looking down at the ground.

"Well, I understand you're a creature from another world, ponies may want to research you, you may have potential. You shouldn't waste your time here." She said as she closed her eyes. "Come, I will show you the exit." She said as she started to walk towards the...exit? I quickly followed her lead 'till we reached the giant doors of the castle that lead outside. Standing at the entrance, I saw the bright moon, the giant castle on the side of the mountain, and, sure, the forest...

I couldn't believe, she was letting me go, this is my change! Nodding carefully, I started to follow the path. While I was some meters away from the castle, I heard her....sobbing?

Turning around, I saw her crying not before she turned around and slowly walked back in the castle.

DUDE, GO GET HER, the dick just told me he is soo fucking hard right now!

Yeah, I'm hard Jake, you haven't had a nice fap for 5 years.

Both of you shut the fuck up!

Cursing myself for this, I started to run towards her. I grabbed her shoulders, making her gasp. She then turned around with these big red puffy eyes looking directly at me. I couldn't let her alone, knowing that everyone hate her, she need someone to help her, someone to love her.

"What, why aren't you goi-MMMPPHH..." I shut her mouth by french kissing her directly on those lips. She was shocked by these quick actions but after some seconds she closed her eyes and began to taste my mouth with her tongue.

Our tongues were fighting for dominance. Her tongue was tipping my teeth, asking for entrance, which I letted her. For some reason, her mouth was tasting like Blueberries, my favorite fruit. After kissing for 5 minutes at the gates of a giant ruined castle, I slowly departed myself from her.

"Why would you do that? I thought everypony hates me and my night." She said, tears drifting from her eyes.

"If you didn't know that already, I am not a pony, and why would I hate you?" I asked, confused by her words.

"Everypony hates me for trying to bring eternal night to this world... and the fillies freak out when they see me" She replied in a sad tone.

"I like the night. It's peaceful and its beautiful, the stars shining in the deep dark blue sky, just like you"

"Thanks, nopony ever told me that before, not even my sister." She said, huggin me tight. Her soft fur touching my 'skin' couldn't be described.

"So thats means you really....love me....I mean...from that kiss." She asked in a worried voice.

DUDE, THATS IT, DICK did you hear that, tonight we gonn' get laid!

YEEES

That won't happen!

"Love on the first sight." I said, kissing her deeper.

So, after our make-out session, she showed the throne room, which was pretty much her bedroom.

She asked me about my world, how other humans look, what kind of technology we have, what we eat and other stuff.

After I heard her yawn, I decided it was time for us to sleep. She took her pony armor off, then Putting the blanket over us,

"Goodnight Nighmare." I said, resting my eyes and finally drifting into sleep...

"Goodnight Jake" She replied, drifting into the sleep...

==============================================

The birds that were chirping outside woke me up. The light rays started to burn my retina.

"God! I hate mornings" I said, covering my eyes with the blanket, trying to fall asleep again.

"Me too." A feminine voice spoke beside me. Widening my eyes, I turned to the side. My eyes adjusted to the light in the room, so now I could see. There was that blue pony I kissed, Nightmare Moon, her eyes were half-lidden.

Putting my hands behind my head I started looking at the ceiling (or the big hole in it).

"So, it wasn't a dream after all" I said.

"Huh, a dream? Why would this be a dream ?" She replied, looking at me in a worried manner.

"Because I already told you that in my world, there's no talking ponies with wings or horns, or both. So this was pretty ireal for me."

"Ohhh, is this enough real for you?" She asked, touching my bare skin with her forehooves. It was feel so good.

"Yes, now it's enough real for me" I replied

Jake, I'm so sick of you, the dick said you will get laid tonight, but nooooo, why THE FUCK WOULD YOU LISTEN?

Stop being a pervert, also she's a pony, not a human, I can't have intercouse with her.

Interspecies sex, Jake, I know we both love it. Also, you're actually dead, so why not have this moment, Jacky Boy?

I don't know man, maybe... but I can't do it so fast with her dude.

She's sexy and alone. What is there to say. Imagine her inner walls rubbing your dick while she moans as it pounds into her.

Great, now my boner was making a tent in the blanket from that chat with my brain.

I want HER RIGHT NOW JACKE!

Calm the fuck down! Jeez.

I roll on the other side so she couln't see how hard I was right now, I asked her:

"So Nightmare, what do we do now? You're the only pony who has seen me... maybe I should go and see the other ponies, I don't think they would freak out if I try to be friendly with them."

"Yeah you should, but I can't go with you, if anypony sees me, wich they will do...and if they do, they will call Celestia and she will imprison me to the moon again."

"I guess so... but what if you can see what I see? Like, see the world through my eyes." I said before scratching my chin.

"Yes, that works, but there's one problem. To do that spell, I will need to occupy a part of your brain, that means I can talk to you via telekinesis and see what your brain thinks."

Oh shit. DON'T DO IT,JACK. HAVE MERCY!!! My brain mentally screamed at me.

Ignoring him, I said:

"That won't be a problem, I wanna know that you will always be there with me"

Her face blushed a little before changing into a confussed look:

"Are you sure? The spell cannot be undone."

DON'T FUCKING DO IT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, THINK ABOUT ME DUDE, I WILL SAY SHIT AND SHE'S GOING TO KILL YOU

"I'm totally in for it." I said with a big grin on my face.

We both stand up, my feet touched the cold stone floor, making me shiver. Lucky, my 'hard wood' die down already.

"Well, here it goes." She said before closing her eyes, then her horn glowed in a blue aura.

Dipshit you fucked us both, gee, thanks. Now I am 'avin a migrene.

While she was levitating me in the air, I could feel something in my head tickling head, then shit happened. My brain hurted so much that I was thinking it would get out! I screamed in agony while covering my head with my hands, trying to stop the pain

Shit ass shit ass shit fuck motherfuk.....

After the pain vanished, a bright white light erupted in front of me. Covering my eyes from the light, I lost my balance and felt on my back, losing my consciousness.

....

"Jaccceee...pleeshae tehl mie yureo ockahhiy" I heard a distorted voice beside me, my ears were still ringing from that explosion of energy.

After my ears and eyes stopped hurting, I saw that Nightmare was sitting in front of me, some tears were dripping from her eyes to her cheeks, then finally falling on the floor. She was sobbing so hard that it made my heart break in half.

"Nightmare, why are you crying" I said as I rose up, I kneeled beside her and took away her tears with my hands, looking into her red puffy eyes.

"I thought you died from that spell. You blacked out for 10 minutes, your heart wasn't even beating." She said, then we both embraced into a big hug.

Good job Jakey, you made her cry. I ain't did nuffin'. It was you being weak.

Jake isn't weak, he is so sweet and cares about me, but who are you?

I am his brain and we both know he is weak. Me and him, he suicided and wanted to go to hell, he didn't go on with his shitty life, maybe he would've made it better and I don't know, he wouldn't have felt into this world, filled with ponies, he can't even have decent sex. He can't reproduce. He doesn't even know if you guys eat the stuff he eats.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE. Nightmare, do you have any spell that could make him shut up" I asked, annoyed by his bullshit, always whining and complaining about my life.

Yes please, shut me up, I want to stop talking to him, since it's useless, make him unhearable for me, I want to have a long sleep. This is torture for me, talking to this incompetent useless bastard. You know what, I quit, wake me up when there will be some cool actions in front of his eyes.

"Nightmare, I'm so sorry for this, he is a really fucked up guy." I said, scratching the back of my head.

Last words after going to sleep mate. He. Is. A. Fucking. Pervert. But he's a good guy. So. Yeah. Good night.

"Don't worry Jake, he is quite amusing to me, weird, but funny." She giggled, making me raise a brow. Does she like him or what?

"So, did the spell work?"

"Yes, it worked, I can hear what your brain says, and what you see and hear." She replied. We both raised to our feet (or hooves) and started walking towards the castle exit.

We arrived at the castle exit then stopped and looked at her straight into her eye, I could see that she was a bit worried.

"Hey don't worry, everything's going to be okay. See you tonight." I said, giving her a peck on the lips, I started my way toward Poneville or whatever. I waved at her as I slowly walked away, she returned the wave...

As I was continuing my route, I was asking myself: Would ponies think that I'm a treat.

If anything happens to you, don't hesitate calling for me. I will be always for you.

Awwww, thanks Nightmare, I will try my best to be friendly to them.

Smiling, I continued walking throught the dense forest.

Chapter 4: Welcome to Ponyville, bitch!

===================

Twilight's Library, Ponyville

12:23 PM

===================

It was one of the same sunny days in Ponyville. Birds flying from tree to tree, ponies walking through their daily routine, the sun warm light, and the only purple bookworm in the town was just sitting at her house, not paying attention to this goddamn day that Celestia tried to do.

Twilight was sitting on her comfy brown sofa, reading her favorite book 'Alicorns and their Magic' by Adulf Hoofler, her glaze only meet the book. Spike was 'always' cleaning dust off the books and reorganizing them.

"So Twilight...got any plans today?" Spike asked, breaking the silence.

"No Spike, today I don't have any chores to do, maybe we should go to Sugarcube Corner and see what Pinkie is up to!" Twilight replied, raising her eyes from the book.

"Sounds good" Spike replied, walking towards the front door. Twilight joined him too, placing a bookmark on the last page she was reading.

While she was trying to find the place where the book was placed, there were three knocks on the front door.

"I'm coming!" Spike said, turning the knob, he opened the door, revealing Lyra, the obsessed human-lover pony.

"Oh hey Lyra, what brings you here?" Spike asked.

"Good morning Spike, I was wondering if Twilight is here" She replied, trying to look past Spike for the purple bookworm.

"Hi Lyra, how have you been" Twilight said beside Spike, then he walked inside the house, looking for some bits.

"Good, thank you Twilight. I'm here to let you know I finished reading the book you gave me yesterday" Lyra replied, floating the book from her saddlebags in front of Twilight eyes with her magic.

"Finished? But I just gave it to you yesterday. Did you read in a whole day?" Twilight asked, pushing the book away, raising a brow, Spike was still awaiting for their departure to the sweet shop, who those goddamn mares needs to always chat!?

"Ohhh, I didn't read it in a day. I read it the whole night!" Lyra said, pointing with her hooves at the bags under her eyes.

"Lyra, I don't think this obsession is healthy for you. I think getting away from these 'humans' subjects would help you a lot" Twilight said, smiling nervously,

"Yeaah, I think I should do that. Bonbon is still complaying for my hobby, it's not my fault that I like so much humans *sniff* " She replied, her eyes starting to water up.

"Ohhh, don't be sad, its just....well....you see...humans aren't technically real" Twilight said, scratching her neck, looking nervously around. Lyra gasped in shock from her theory

"YES THEY DO! And you have no rights to say that" Lyra replied, lifting her noise high in the air, giving her the book, trotted away from the library.

Just before Twilight could close the library door, she saw Lyra standing in the middle of the street, not too far way from the library. Confused by this, Twilight walked towards her. Lyra's eyes have widened, and she was mumbling "h-h-h-h...um--man"

Twilight let an annoyed sign. Looking at her she said "Lyra, you really need help". Before Twilight could go back to her chores, Lyra grabbed her neck, and pointed with her hooves at Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie was sitting on a table, at a 'not so fancy' restaurant. She was having a big smile on her face while she was chatting with a tall strange creature.It was having only hair on it's head and was wearing some sore of clothing and was pointing with his left arm towards the sky. Twilight didn't recognisized it until she remember the pictures in these books of...HUMANS? The human was laughing with Pinkie, both of them were drinking and laughing. Twilight eyes become full widen when she saw this.

=================================

Back to Jake POV.

=================================

I still can't believe that I'm trapped in a world filled with multicolored talking ponies, didn't the Bible said that people who die, will go to heaven or hell, right? Well, in my case, what I'm doing here? Maybe is a sign from Jesus that this place will make me happy or other shit. Well, I recognize that this place seems more happier than Earth. I mean, there wasn't any WAR on this planet from what I red in the book, only small conflicts between regions, this place doesn't have guns, drugs, whores (I think). Maybe I could live here, I even got a girlfriend or marefriend or whatever, fuck you. Yeah, I don't think standing with these pink ponies will be better, it's still sound gay to me, no offense.

Anyway, as soon as I got there in the middle of the cobblestone street, ponies started to stare at me. Ignoring them, I continued my route towards, I don't know, maybe somepony who isn't scared of me. Shit got serious, ponies started to run off my way, others where whispering to each other. I could barelly heard what they said.

'What is that thing'

'I think we should call Celestia'

'Maybe is some sort of a changeling'

Changeling, what the hell is that?

A changeling are some sort of ponies who feed themselvs with love from other ponies. They can also disguised as normal ponies. You wouldn't want to mess with them, especially if you don't know how to do magic.

I still can't forget all these stares from these ponies, do I look like a fucking ghost?

Suddenly, a wild spinning pink ball appear in front of me. After my eyes stopped spinning, I could see the pony. She, or I think is a she cause is a fucking girly thing pony...what, was having a light pink fur, and her mane was very curly and got the same color but it was darker. Her eyes were blue like the sky, no clouds or any bird shit. She also got a 3 balloons on her flank.

"Ohmy!ijustsawalltheseponieintownspeakingaboutatallmonsterherebutididn'tbelievethemsoafterwalkingnonsensearoundisawyoutheniwaslikeohpoorthingithinkhejustwantafriendand....." She started speaking so fast that I couldn't even process what she was just talking about. Shaking my head, hoping to not get a headache from her, I put my hand over her mouth, hoping this shit would stop, but it didn't,she was STILL speaking. Dragging my hand away, I sign in relief when she stopped, looking at me worried.

"Did you just licked my palm?" I asked, earning I quick gasp from her. She sat up on her hind hooves, then putted her front hooves on my shoulder, for support. Now she was face-to-face with me.

"Hnnnn! You can talk. Oh my, this get better and better, I can't wait to throw you the BIGGEST.WELCOME.PARTY.EVER" She screamed so hard, that I could swear that I saw a glass cracking. I grabbed her by shoulders, and then put her on four hooves.

"Hold on, I just barely entered in this strange world, you don't know who am I or what am I, and you want to throw me a party?" I asked confused. Never in my entirely life somebody throwed me a party, not even my parents, and this, THIS PONY, wanted to throw me a party. I didn't even spent 5 minutes in this town.

"Well, dwaaaha, everypony needs a welcoming party, even if they are different. Oh I almost forget, what's your name?"

"Well, my name is Jake, and I'm a human and why would you throw a party to everpony?" I think I just asked the most shittiest question ever to a pony. But she didn't payed attention to my face-palm 'cause her smile became bigger!

" 'Cause everypony's my friend and I love to see my friends smile!" She said trotting away leaving me confused, then a guitar song started out of nowhere, and, won't believe it, she started to sing!

[Enter the Smile song here]

I was just standing there, looking at the WHOLE town singing with that pink pony, Pinkie Pie, I think, not caring about me anymore. They even started a choir about smiles and bullshit like sunshine or happy things.

After the song ended, everypony started to trot away, no longer scared of me. Shaking my head from the trance, I rised up from the bench then walked beside Pinkie.

"How did you do that?" I asked

"Do what? Ohhh, the singing, I don't know, every time when somepony want to sing, a instrumental song came from nowhere, making everipony sing too." She replied. Then an awkward silence spreaded between us.

"Sooo, did you like it?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't really know, sounded pretty gay to a man like me" I replied, making her confused.

"What 'geay' means" She asked. Wait, they don't even know what gay is, *insert facepalm here*.

"You know what forget it, the only thing I wanna hear right now is...." I was interrupted by my stomach rumbling sound, making her giggle. Then her stomach rumbled too, making me laugh hard.

"I guess you're hungry, wanna it something" She asked, calming down from my outburst, I nodded, then we started to walk towards a Starbucks Coffee shop. Everything was similar but on their logo, was a pony, not a woman.

When we got inside, there was a lot of ponies, but the worst is that they started to stare at me again, but soon they relieved themselvs when they saw Pinkie next to me.

Not paying five motherfucking dollars to them, I walked towards the counter, the mare there wasn't really affected by me. Pinkie ordered some donuts with an espresso, and I got a cappuccino with a chocolate muffin.

"That would be 18 bits sir" The pony asked. Not knowing that this place got different money, I reached down my pocked, then grapped 20 dollars from my wallet on the counter. Pinkie and the mare got a confused look, only making me raise a brow

"Sir, you can't pay with this, you need to pay 18 GOLD bits" The mare said.

Gold, does this pony think I'm Bill motherfucking Gates, how the fuck can I afford gold!

Gold bits are the main currency in Equestria. Remember me when you come back that I need to teach you about what you need to know. Nightmare Moon replied, making me jump from her.

I don't really like history lesson, but I don't think that would be so bad, and next time, warn me when you want to talk with telekinesis

How I'm suppose to warn you in that way?

Hey both of you, shut up, I'm trying to sleep!

"Don't worry Jake, I pay this for you" She said, putting some ass-looking gold bits on the counter. I grapped my money back, and the two plates, then started walking outside.

We stood outside at a table, drinking and eating our.....wait hold on, what time is it? I reached my pocket, then grapped my fucked android phone. I didn't even thought about how it survived when I fell into that pond, but nevermind. In the past 2 years I tried to keep some money for some special thing that I could buy, and what would be cool with these money? Buy a fucking phone! Anyway, pressed the phone button, and the screen light up, showing it was 13:43 PM, so it was afternoon, well I guess it was lunch time then.

"What is that black box, Jake" Pinkie asked, making me sigh in annoyance.

"You know, it was complicated, I'll show you when I sort these things out" I replied, drinking my cappuccino.

"Well okay then" She replied, grapping her donut with her hooves and started munch it. How she did that I would never know.

Man, this coffee and muffin didn't even had the same taste, it was EVEN BETTER than in my world, the chocolate was better than any chocolate I ever tasted, and the cappuccino was made with...how could I say it....passion and love? Nonononono, forget it. Its taste is more strong and I can even fell the sour cream.

Drinking half cappuccino, I lowered the cup on table, then I started to admire the landscape. What could I say about this town, it looked like these medieval village, got hay roofs, wood logs supports, some windows were even in hearth shape. The sky was completely clean, no clouds, and there were some pegasus flying around. I could saw the Canterlot on the side of the mountain, it was somewhat...beautiful here. But something got my attention, in distance, there was a BIG tree house, it got some balcony, an electric rod on the roof, and windows and doors. These ponies live even in trees, what next? Big talking dogs living in a cave system underground with lots of gems? Yeah, sure!

Pinkie break the silence, again, with giggles, then giggles transformed into a big laughing.

"Why are you laughing, do I have something on my face?" I asked, then, out of fucking nowhere, she grapped a mirror, pointing towards my face. I could see that I got sour cream on my lips. This made me chuckle a little, and a idea came in!

I looked behind me, not facing Pinkie face. Then I started clean some cream of my lips, then put it on upper-lips, making a similar moustache with Hitler.

Looking now directly at pinkie, I pointed with my hand like Hitler saluting sign.

"Ich spiele Deutsh!!" I yelled, making Pinkie laugh even harder. We both laughed so hard that someponies started to look at us.

"You look funny" Pinkie admitted, wiping away the tears from her eyes. I cleaned up my moustache.

"Yeah, I know" I replied, then we start drinking and eating again.

"So, Jake, what brings you here in Equestria" Pinkie asked, cutting the silence again, I swear her name should be Awkward Silence Killer or a game like Silence Cutter Simulator 2014.

"Well, I don't really know who did I got here, all I remember is that when I killed myself, I woke up, finding myself falling from the skies, then I got here." I replied with a emotionless expression, then I resumed my drinking.

Pinkie looked at me in completely shock. Raising a brow, I asked.

"What"

"W-w-hh-y would you kill yourself?" She replied, stuttering from her shock.

"Well, my life was pretty much shit back there, so the best choice was suicide" I asked, crossing my arms

"But don't you got a family back there, I'm sure they are really depressed about your death now" She replied. Wait, she think I got caring parents, BULLSHIT!

"Well, I'm not sure, they didn't care about me, they would beat me everyday, they won't feed me sometimes, and they even kicked out of my own house" I replied.

"Jake, I'm so sorry about your life, well, I'm sure here you will make lots and lots of good friends" She said with a big grin.

Nodding, I continued eating my muffin. Then something catched my eyes. Beside me, there was a mare, her mane was light grayish cyan with some white strips and her fur was a very light aquamarine. She was frozen when she saw I was looking at her.

After looking at each other for minutes, I asked confused.

"Can, I help you?"

She still didn't move, her mouth was agape and her eyes were widen. This pony is starting to creep me out.

"Hello, Earth to the mare, can you hear me?" I started to wave my hand in front of her eyes, but she still didn't move, not even blinking. I looked at pinkie who just shrugged.

She then started to blink rapidly, and with a shake of her head, she muttered "Y-yyy-ou are r-r-reaaal"

"No shit Sherlock, if I wasn't real, I could do..this" I replied, then slowly started to pet her mane. She jumped a bit from her action, but she relaxed when I began to scratch her behind ears, She began to moan " Ohh, it feels soooo good. I didn't know these fingers could feel sooo good". Her horn and my hand started to glow in a deep gold aura, then, without my agree, my hand moved in from of her face. She examined every fingers, her face was something like a child looking at a lollipop. Then she did something that make me disgusted, she started to lick my fingers.

"Ewwww, what the fuck are you doing" I quickly retreat my hand, having a disgusted look on my face.

"Oh, I'm s-s-oory, I was just....so excited when I saw a human for the first time!" She replied.

"Wait, how do you know what I am?" I asked confused. Does this place got any humans here?

"Well I read a lots of books about your species"

"So this place really has more humans?" I asked excited to know that I'm not the only fucking human here.

"Well, no, there aren't actually humans here. They are only a myth. But now you are here! Oh this is the best day of my life, I can wait to ask you a lot of questions" She said, then rising up, now she is touching my nose with hers.

"Uhhh..." Before I could answer, a light purple aura surrounded Lyra body. She let a small yelp before she was tossed away from my view.

A lavender pony stood where Lyra was before, looking at me curiously. Her mane was a somewhat light blue, and it got violet and pink streaks, and the tail was the same. She was also an unicorn. Her big purple eyes were staring at me like she was trying to find my soul. After another awkward silence, she cleared her throat, then spook.

"Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my friend Pinkie Pie" She said proudly, then pointing her hoof at Pinkie.

Twilight, god, this place is absolutely fantastic. I bet she is a vampire looking for love with a mortal, that would made my day.

"Hi Twilight! Whatca doing?" Pinkie asked, smiling at her.

"Soo, Twilight, you're a vampire" I asked, looking playful at her. I think it would be funny to see her angry.

"No, I'm a unicorn. Why are you asking that?" She replied, not knowing how much I'm laugh in my head.

"No reason" I lied quickly.

....

"Well, I see you meet my friend, Pinkie" She said, breaking the silence again. Dammit, what is with those ponies and their silence?

"That's right. Jake is really funny, and I can't wait to throw him the Welcoming Party!!!" Pinkie bounced up and down excited, I rolled my eyes, then looked at Twilight. She pretty much got my idea.

"She's just Pinkie, don't ask"

After Pinkie Excitement Dance, I could see 4 ponies started to approach us. They were wearing some type of necklaces, even Twilight got a crown on her head, how did I miss that.

The first pony was a pegasus. She was having an Rainbow mane and tail, a cyan fur and her cutie mark was a lighting bolt. The next one was having a curly purple mane, her fur was pure white, she looked FABULOUS! like a 'marshmallow'. Her cutie mark was 3 blue diamonds. The other got a pink mane, her fur was yellow and the cutie mark was some butterflies shit, she was pretty scared when she saw me and tried to hide behind the rainbow one.. And the last one was like a western girl, her mane was blonde, the fur was orange and got 3 apples on her flank, and she was wearing a cowboy hat. What the fuck, where are fedora ponies when you need them!

These five ones, including Twilight, formed a semi-circle in front of me. Looking curiously at them, Pinkie was still standing beside me. After another awkward silence, Twilight face palmed (or face hooved?), then spooked.

"Pinkie, come here!"

"Okey doki loki" She replied bouncing up and down again. Twilight attached a necklace to her. In the middle of the necklaces, they have the same cutie mark as the possessor, but different colors.

"Uhhh, Twilight, what the hell is going on" I asked, looking nervously at her.

"I'm sorry Jake, but we can't risk another chaos in Equestria like how Discord and Nightmare Moon did. Don't worry, it won't hurt" She asked, all of them rising in the air, slightly above the ground. Some lights strange lights started to come from their necklaces.

They are using the elements! Quickly, get out of there before they turn you into stone! Nightmare screamed at me, waking me from my panic.

A gay rainbow light raised from them to the sky, then it got straight towards me. Shit, what the fuck is wrong with these ponies, I'm just a normal guy, not fucking Osama.

Before the rainbow thing could hit me, I dodge it quickly, avoiding my death or whatever. After their shock of my escape, I quickly started to run again like a pussy towards the castle, Nightmare help me!

Celestia thought the only human coming again on this land would be a threat, so basically she told the elements to destroy you. I think i subestimate her, but nevermind, don't let them catch you. I can't help you right now, but you can come back to the castle. I know I speel that would solve this problem.

Wait, again? So there were more humans before me here?

Indeed, some centuries ago they bought Equestria to a wasteland. They burned whole villages down, killed hundreds of ponies, even destroyed half of a forest, but Celestia fought against them, the war turned to be around 2 years, and she won. So that's the perfect reason they attacked you with the Elements of Harmony.

But in the book I read it's says that there wasn't any war in Equestria.

Yes, but the book was made before that happened.

Wait, how did you know what book...

I saw the cover when I was listening to your explanation when tried to shoot you down.

Well, thanks for that.

Shit, at least they could ask me before attacking, 'Hey Jake, some humans destroy Equestria some time ago, so were wondering if you will kill us all' That's fucking great, y'know?

Looking behind me while still running at my top speed, I saw them still trying to catch me, the rainbow one was the fastest, she was fewer meters behind me. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, if I continue like this, she would surely catch me. Thinking of something, a light bulb appear above me, and the idea came (came, lol). In front of me was a big tree. Now the rainbow was merely inches away from my head, then with a quickly turned to my left, still running. She gasped when she saw the tree. Not having time to reach she hit the tree with full speed. The impact was so big that the tree cracked a lot, her head stucked inside the tree trunk. I could saw her friends trying to get her out. A laughed a little, then I continued my way towards the castle.

"She's too stuck. Rarity, you and Applejack are coming with me, Pinkie and Fluttershy, try to get her out." Twilight said, with the white one and the orange one. So their name was Applejack and Rarity, huh, weird names.

The trip to the castle was very pleasant. Only some scratches from the tree branches and I stepped in a torn bush, making me whole left leg blooded, it hurted like a bitch!

Seeing the castle made me smile, then without wasting any second, I turned to full speed towards it, even if my left leg hurts so bad. Nightmare appeared in front of me, possibly she was wearing an invisibly spell.

"Quickly get in, I'll took care of the wounds inside" She said in a motherly voice. I got myself inside with her in the bedroom, then with a bright light from her horn, my wounds started to vanish, like there was nothing.

"Thanks" I said, giving her a peck on the lips, making her blush hard again. She sat on her haunches beside me,looking with a bored expression.

"Soooo, I guess your day was pretty full, huh" She asked ironical.

"Yeah sure it was. Are you sure they won't find us here, I wouldn't be surprised if these ponies would search me here." I replied, feeling unsafe knowing that 6 ponies wanted me dead, 5 if Pinkie still wanted to throw me the party.

"Don't worry, the bedroom is completely safe by a magical spell. They can't see or hear us, even if they were here right now" We sat down on the bed from our tiredness. So.. my second day in Equestria and I already got a bounty on my head.

Trying to cut the silence, I asked

"So, how was your day" My question made her gulp, wait, what did she did while I was in Ponyville?

"Oh, just....cleaning here lately...hah." She laughed nervously. Yep, she's was lying, but if she lies to me, then there must be a good reason.

"Ohh, okay, I was just thinking what could we do now, until things calms down" I replied, bored, damn, why didn't they got TV here in this place. A world without TV is a world where I don't want to live.

"Well, if you're bored, we could..." Sounds of hooves approaching breaked her sentence. "Don't move, just because they can't hear us, doesn't mean we can't make noise with the environment."

"Come on girls, he must be here." Twilight voice was echoing through the hallway near the room.

"We could, teach you about Equestria general things that you may need to know" She continued, like there wasn't five ponies that were searching for us.

Before I could respond, Twilight came in our room. She looked around carefully, looking for me. She was looking towards us, but her expression didn't changed. So, the spell really works.

Of course it works. Do you think my magic isn't powerful?

Of course not, but you were just the dark side of Luna, and when you were defeated two times, I didn't know if you would have much power left.

True that, but alicorns magic is extremely powerful. It takes years to run out of it if I wouldn't use it, I know my power can't be compared to Celestia or Luna, but I still got plenty amount of magic left, and with your help, I could defeat both of them.

Wait, you want my help to defeat them. Aren't they like the rulers of this land. If they catch me doing something suspiciously, I could easily get a ticket to the first dungeon cell.

Yeah, that could happen, but now you have me, and I will do everything to tear down from their thrones. The question is: Will you be at my side or not?

Ok, this is getting out of control, and three ponies looking for me, even if I'm in the same room as them doesn't help! She wants me to take the princesses down, I'm sure this won't be easy, but with her, I think I can do it, also, where would be the fun?

I'm totally with you

Her smile grew even bigger and she hug me tight. When those ponies got out of the room, we started to make out, the force when she kissed me was enough strong to fall on my back on the bed, with her on top. She moaned loudly in my mouth while I was still feeling that blueberry taste. After good minutes, we ended kissing, leaving a chain of saliva connecting our mouths. Both of us were panting heavily, she looked at me with these gorgeously catt-like eyes, then she dropped on my chest, nuzzling my neck carefully, trying to not stab me with her horn.

"You don't know how much this means to me" She said, making me chuckle. I stroked her mane while looking outside the near window, the sun began to set, the sky was getting an beautiful orange light from the sunset.

"He's not here, and it's starting to get late. We will come back tomorrow." Twilight voice broke the romance scene of us throught the hallway.

"Ah, shoot, wait 'til I get my hooves on that hairless ape" The western accent joined it, probably was that orange one, what was her name, Jackppleack, Applujeck?

"I don't think that would be a good idea, dear, but we cannot follow him if it's too dark, and there are lots of dangerous and filthy creatures in the Everfree Forest." Rareta or whatever replied, her 'lady' accent is pretty obviously, much like those rich people accent.

"Uhmmm....I think.....we scared him pretty....much. He just wanted to make some friends, but we tried to use the elements on him, I think he's now hidden in a dark room, afraid and confused." The yellow one spoked, wait...she carried about me? Oh god, these ponies are going to blow my mind off.

"I don't know Fluttershy, if Celestia really wanted to turn him into stone, then he must be really dangerous, speaking that now, what do you think happen to him?" Rarity replied, wait again, Celestia wanted me to be turned into stone? Then she must really ran out of garden statues (baddadum).

"He was probably eated by a manticore, anyway, I think we should go back to Ponyville hospital, this headache is starting to hurt really bad." the rainbow one said, her voice sounded more like a boy rather than a girl mare. Man, I wouldn't never forget her face when she saw what's coming when I turned around.

"Awwwww, but I really wanted to throw him that party. Huh, maybe I could throw him a 'Sorry we hitted you with the Elements of Harmony party" Pinkie, surely. It's weird that she still wants that freaking party, even if her friends think I'm a demon or villain.

"Pinkie, don't you get it, his kind almost destroyed half of Equestria. We need to find him, quick, we can't risk another creature from another world to rip the planet, and we failed Celestia, she told us clearly that we need to use the elements on him, but look at us now, WE LOST HIM!" Twilight shouted, making everypony look at her shocked. Twilight recovered from her outburst, then falled on her haunches, lowering her head. "I'm sorry girls, I shouldn't scream at you. It's just that I don't want anypony to get in any danger" she then started to sob softly, her tears lowering from her eyes to her cheeks, then falling on the cold stone floor.

"Come on ya, sugarcube, we'll find him, we just need more time" Applejack replied, offering her right front hoof for Twilight, she accepted Applejack help, rising herself on four hooves.

"Thanks Applejack, I really need that. We should head back to our houses, we start looking tomorrow morning." They all nodded, going straight to the exit.

The sound of hooves hitting the stone floor started to distant, then completely silence, only the locust sounds filled the air. I was still stroking Nightmare, her beautiful mane flowing, those tiny sparkles shining like stars on the night sky, the deep blue trasparent color made me smile while I remember how lucky I'm right now. The silence filled the whole castle, until, of course, I break it.

"So, they're gone" I asked. Nighmare only replied with a simple 'mmmphh' "So, they want me dead or whatever, what could we do?"

"Well, you really need to earn their trust, so the plan can succed" She replied, rising her head, looking directly into my eyes. Her face was so close to mine that I could see my reflection in her eyes, and I could feel her breath on my skin, for some reason, my tiny beard growed quickly. I should shave myself, if these ponies got razors and shaving gel.

"Well, I don't think it would be easy, but I can do that...oh, by the way, can you teach me magic, like defensive and attack spells" I asked enthusiastic. I would be fucking awesome if I could lift things in the air and other shit!

"I don't know if you can, but we can try" She replied, while I was snuggling her neck.

"Thanks, goodnight Nightmare" I said, putting the blanket over us.

"Goodnight, Jake" She cuddle with me, with a simple flash from her horn, the regal armor teleported in the corner of the room.

Tommorow will be a long day....

Chapter 5: Magic and Wolves

Game Over

Medal: Score: 2

NONE Best: 5

"WHY DOES THIS FUCKING BIRD CAN'T FUCKING FLY NORMAL!!!!" Shouting angry at the main game over screen, I tried to smash my phone against the wall, only to remember that this shit cost me 2 years of saving, so, instead of breaking it and tried what any angry gamer would do, "I SWEAR TO THIS WHOLE FUCKING WORLD I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'll SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING EYE YOU FREAKING CUNT!"

"Why are you still playing that stupid game if you burst out everytime you play it" Nightmare asked, looking at me with that bored expression, not contemplating to my swears. I sighed loudly, then with a simply death glaze at the game, I put the phone back in my jeans pocket.

"It's not my fault Flappy Bird fucking sucks" I said, clenching my fist in anger. She let an annoyed sign from my statement.

Strangely, this morning, I wanted to play something on my phone since it's at 96% battery, wonder if their horn magic could charge the battery. Anyway, let's analyze the situation now.

Me and Nightmare were sitting in the reading room, it was still morning so those ponies are probably searching for me. I was sitting on an old bean chair, its leather was always squeaking when I move, and Nightmare was sitting on her comfy sofa. It was pretty weird that this castle was only a ruin, and there's lots of old-age furnitures. Anyway, when I woke up, Nightmare was still using me as her pillow, she won't wake up, I tried to kiss her, call her, or shake, but no avail, so, like a ninja, I slid out of the bed, then I made my way towards the exit.

==============

Flashback time

==============

I reached the giant doors of the castle, it was still morning, so there wasn't much light around. 'My mouth is pretty dry, maybe I should get some water. There must be that pond around' I though, then, with a simply mental agree, I continued my way towards it. I still remember its locations, so it was pretty easy to get there, the sun finally made its way on the sky, lighting through the trees leaves, the sound of birds chirping around, those tiny multicolored flowers made me smile, thinking that, on Earth, I don't think if things were so beautiful like here in Equestria. Finally, arriving at the clearing, I saw the pond, just like it was when I fell from the sky. Ah, the memories, it was like two days ago I fell into this pond, then made my way towards the castle, having no idea where I am.

It was two days ago, smartass

Shut up brain, already finished your beauty sleep?

First: Fuck you. Second: Yes, I finished my fucking sleep, because, now, that your mind is connected with that sexy mare, I can hear all your shit talk with her.

Dude, shut up! She can hear you, y'know?

Yeah, so what? She's sleeping, and I can say whatever the fuck I want, oh look! Hey Nightmare, your ass is nice, I wanna fuck you with my monster dick until you beg me to stop.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

...

....

.....

See? Nothing happens, now, be a good guy and try to have some fucking sexy time with her!

I can't believe your such a FREAKING PERVERT. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

*You're

AHHHHHHHH, you know what? Fine, do whatever you want, like you can control my body, ha!

You will see Jakey boy, you will see....

Finishing my chat with the fucking pervert brain, I stopped near the water, it's pretty clear, I could see my perfect reflection, like there was another me behind that water. I bend over, drinking some of it. While I was enjoyed the great taste, I saw a shadow floating past me, making me yelp in surprise. Looking at the sky, I saw a cloud that was moving really fast and it was...pink? Okay, seriously, this place is so fucked up. Rising on my feet, I was about to run like hell, until I hear a evil laughter behind me. I turned around to see nothing but...the pond? What!! I could swear I hear somebodypony laughing? Must be my imagination, or my brain tries to fuck me up?

I don't do anything, bro. She must have cast a spell on you, probably a spell for bigger dicks.

If I ever saw you in real life, I would beat you to death.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen

Shaking my head in disagreement, I resume my run to the castle. The trip was the same, closing the giant castle doors behind me, I tried to catch my breath, falling on my ass panting hardly. I didn't even notice Nightmare walking beside me, wearing her regal armor.

"I must say that was one of the most relaxing slumber I had in the last thousand years" She spooked, making me yelp from her voice.

"Yeah, it was pretty relaxing as well" I said nervously, scratching the back of my head. There was another awkward silence between one of us and before I could ask her what can we do today, she silenced me with her hoof.

"I hear everything your mindless and strange brain said" She was rather unamused than angry. I gulped, knowing that she can easily rip me in half with her magic or that long but sexy horn.

Ohhhhhh, she got you, dumbass, good look spending your entirely life on the moon

"H-uh...oh y-yeah...s-s-sorry about t-that, but it's n-not my fault he is such a fucking pervert" I responded, crossing my arms in defense.

Yeah sure, it's not your fault that I want to have some sexy time with somebody, it's her fault!

"Ignore him, he will go away" I whispered, her face only showing annoyance. "Anyway, what should we do today?" I asked, like nothing happened.

I'm not a fucking troll, dumbfuck. I'm so bored right now, you know what? I will come back when there would be some freaking actions. Bye-bye

"Well, last night, you told me that you want to learn magic, if you can" She replied, not paying two fucks for the brain. This gave me an idea.

"Sure, we can do this, and I can use some of defense spells on these six ponies when I go back there" I say, having no fucking idea how can I became friends with them.

"Well, let's get starting, but we can't do it here. Follow me" I obliged her, walking beside. We soon arrived at some sort of a library filled with lots of dust. There was a long wide hallway, filled with bookshelves that reach the ceiling. The only light here was the sunlight going throught the smashed windows. In the middle of the library was a long dusty table with only two chairs.

"So, here were going to study?" I asked, unsure about this ruined library. I was expecting a big 'of course' from her, but I didn't came (lol again).

"No, were not there yet, come" She replied, trotting towards one of the chair table. She simply stood there. I raised a brow, and she probably notice it. Then, she bend down the chair, and some sort of attached pedal from the floor to the chair leg appeared. I was confused when nothing happened, then a cold breeze reached my back, making me shiver, after that, two of the bookshelves separated, revealing a secret passage.

"How did you know?" I asked dumbfounded, hoping that I won't ask any stupid question anymore.

"I used to live here, you know" She replied rhetorical. Nodding slowly, I made my way behind her until we reached a small circular room. There was some bookshelves, beds, small cushions and a book holder in the middle of the room, on the floor was a giant purple carpet which got the sun logo on it, Jeez, Celestia must be so selfish.

The curtains were shades of blue and got some rips on them, there were paintings of the sun and a crescent moon, and two mosaic glasses that were amazing designed, on the left there was the sun lighting the sky and the fields, and the moon, its stars were beautiful placed on the blue-dark sky, and there were also furnitures which I'm too lazy to talk about them.

Before I could ask Nightmare, she cut me again with her hoof.

"This is the reading room which me and my older sister used when we needed some time to relax. There are lots of memories with me and her" She said in a deeply but sad voice. Looking at her, I could see some tears falling on her cheeks, then on the carpet.

"Nightmare, are you crying?" I asked curiously, making her gasp, look directly at me.

"The Princess of the Night doesn't cry from some old memories...with....her...older sister" Her loud voice shook the whole room, until it become only a whisper.

"It's ok, let it out" I said, hugging her tight, but it didn't help her either.

"No, it's okay, just some old memories" With an unsure voice, she broke the hug. Sure, she was still powerful and heartless, but now, she got nobo...nopony, godammit, these pony words are going to kill me, no friends, no parents, I read that history book so don't ask why how I know, even both of her sisters wanted her imprisoned in stone, but she got me, and she needed me!

"So, with what we begin" I asked, scratching slowly my chin looking all around the room.

"Well, what about some levitation spells, those are for beginners and are the main basic" She asked, giggling a little. I surely know why she is laughing.

"Sure, let's get started" I said enthusiastic. Wait 'till I can burn down things with only my fingers.

========================

Back to the fucking present

Ponyville, 3rd person, 2 hours later

========================

It was one of these common mornings in Ponyville: everypony waking up and getting their newspaper from the front door, the sun lighting the town with its yellow (don't tell me the sun light can be incolor, this is a cartoon) and warming light, the birds chirping together, flying from tree to tree, and everypony getting ready for their daily routine.

But today, ohhh no, it was not like that in every morning the god of chaos gets bored and starts to play with all the physic logic, but, today was one of that.

"Discord, stop it, we don't have time for your tricks" Twilight shouted irritated.

"Oh, but my dearest Twilight, you didn't even saw the ending. Have you see the most powerful draconequus in Equestria lifting a whole tree with one claw" Discord said proudly, transforming his glass of water into a big, pink tree.

The mane six were standing on chairs in front of a theater stage, and of course, Discord was the main attraction, and not because he's a being made of different animals parts. They couldn't do anything except to watch, their hooves were gripped by some sort of a sticky green slime, or they think it's a slime.

"You are the only draconequus in Equestria" Rainbow Dash reproached while Discord was lifting, not one, but TWO trees in the air with his lion paw. He let a big yawn before tossing the trees in the air, disappearing with a snap.

"Discord, stop! We need to save a poor little guy who just ran away into that dangerous forest, who knows what kind of monster hurt him?" Fluttershy calmly voice broke Discord out of his trance, the giant green goats vanished in a flash.

"Fine, but I only do that because Celestia needs my help. 'Somehow', her cake stock is all gone and nobody got any clue what happened, and by the way, I surely know that this creature you say about, isn't what he think is." He said, smiling widely, revealing lots of cakes crumbs on his teeth.

Twilight and the others raised an eyebrow at him, Discord looked around curiously, trying to see why they are looking at him like that, until he realized he hasn't brush his teeth. Smiling nervously, he teleporting away with all his stuff with just a snap for his fingers.

"What he meant by 'isn't what he is'" Skittles asked confused, which Twilight replied "I don't know, but this doesn't sound good"

"Thank ya, Fluttershy, now, come on girls, we gotta find that thing" Applejack said, trotting towards the Everfree Forest.

The apple pony walked calmly on the cobblestone floor, but when she realized that only her hooves hitting the road could be hear, she stopped in tracks, looking behind.

"Come on girls, what's the matter?" She asked worried, confused by this, she noticed everypony eyes widened, making her raise a brow.

When she looking in front of her, she couldn’t believe, the creature who attempted to escape from the Elements, the only creature that Equestria has saw from another world, and the handsome human, Jake, was standing at the entrance of the forest, looking towards them, not moving from his position, he didn't even blink. The only sound that could be heard where either from the far Ponyville citizens, or Rainbow Dash flapping wings.

"I...think we found him" Rainbow Dash said, not even blinking. They all nodded slowly.

=======================

Jake POV, one and half hour ago

=======================

"Why doesn't this shit works?" I asked irritated. Sweat dripped from my forehead to my chin, falling on the floor. I think I sweat so much that the carpet is completely wet.

"Keep paying attention, imagine the apple hovering above the table. It's not really hard" Nightmare said, easy to talk, hard to do, she got that long horn, it's not fair, and it's not my fault humans weren't born to do magic. I started to think this is just a waste of time.

"It's...not...working" I lose my concentration, falling on the floor, panting hardly. We're keep doing this for half hour, but no avail, the apple wasn't even moving millimeters away.

"You just need to concentrate really hard. It's never easy at first" She tried to comfort me, only making me snicker at her.

"Yeah, it's easy for you, you got that freaking horn" Crossing my arms, I made my way to the armchair, resting on it. Lord God, is so comfortable...

"Come on, get up and try again" She trotted towards me, her shadow covering my whole body. I opened my eye, only to see her face standing above me. Letting an defeated sign, I tried again to imagine the apple flying. My head hurts so much, and I was sweating bullets, I was about to 'fuck this shit, I'm going home' but I saw the apple covered in a light dark aura, floating some centimeters of the book holder.

"You're doing great, keep going" She sat beside me, while my head was burning like hell.

"HOLY SHEETTT, I CAN DO MAGIC" Shouting like a child, I dropped my magic grasp around the apple. "Wait until I can set trees on fire, OR, maybe I can blow the castle in the air, or, whaaaa..." Before I could finish, a big blue bubble surrounded me. I tried to push it with my hands, but it was just like rubber. It didn't took me years to find the enchanter. Changing my glaze to her, Nightmare horn was glowing, as well the forcefield, I think.

"I won't get you out until you calm down from these magic fantasies" She stated not mad, but disappointed by my childish mind, even if it was funny.

"Okay, fine, I wouldn't fuck up this place or use my magic to do 'bad' things like Dark Vader. Now, get me out of here" The magic forcefield dropped with me as well. I fell on my ass. Grunting and scratching, Nightmare trotted to me, but before she could say something, I stopped her.

"First, never do that again, and second, is there any spell that can fix my headache, its still hurts like a bitch" Rising up, I sat on the chair, trying to regain my energy.

"I think I can fix it, here, let me help you, just don't move" She said. I obey her, she bent down her head so that her horn was touching my forehead, glowing. I could feel the pain vanishing.

While my mind was relaxing, I could see her eyes widened, she retreated quickly from me, looking fearfully at me, her breath was heavy. What the hell happened, she looks like she saw a ghost. I panicked, thinking if some sort of dark magic or other bullshit attacked her. Forgetting those thoughts, I raised from my armchair, helping her raising on all fours.

"Moony, are you okay, what happened?" I simply asked, not paying attention to the nickmane I just created a second ago.

"Yes, I'm fine, just........did you just called me Moony?" Her voice wasn't angry, but rather confused, I really don't know why I called Moony, sincerely, it's pretty funny and obviously, maybe MoonButt is better, anyway for me it's pretty short and easy to remember, I wasn't having the most sharped mind in my class, in fact, I couldn't even remember where my clothes were sometimes, and I don't even wanna talk about what happened with that blue shirt, thinking of that day still makes me shiver. Tacos everywhere!

"Yeah, I just thought that it would be easy to call you. You're ok with this, right?" She let again an annoyed sign, forcing a nervous smile after. She was a terrible liar.

"Yes, I'm okay." She grinned her teeth, and you don't need to be Sherlock to know that she doesn't like it, but I really don't care, I personally like it.

"So, what the heck happened?" I reminded her. She gulped a bit, then looked at my, sweating pouring from her forehead.

"Oh, nothing..... just a... simple error..... spell" She laughed nervously. I didn't try to push her, if she lies to me then she got a good reason, I think.

We started to practice more, my skills getting better with the time. Were keep practicing levitation spells like rotating the object or trying to throw it or just smack it with my magic grasp. After god knows how much time we spend, I sat down, panting again, but this time, I was felling a lot of pain in my ass. Strange, I don't think my ass can do magic, and if it does, then I wouldn't want to catch things with it, but I realized what I was feeling

'Uhh, Moony, where is the the bathroom?" Sincerely, I didn't use my toilet since the night when I killed myself, and just now it starting to hurt.

"Here, take this, and don't go too far away, forest creatures aren't very friendly" With a 'phoof', the toilet paper landed on my palms. I raised an eyebrow, not sure what she mean, but the idea stuck me. There are no toilets here, goddamit.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Looking at her irritated, she just grinned widely at me. Sighing, I made my way to the exit, praying to the God that no wood-wolves or any shitty being would stab me behind, not paying attention to any shit in that moment. Dying when you're shitting is the worst death a man can have.

Before I could leave, I stopped on tracks, turning to Moony asking "Is there any way I can somehow close the connection between us temporarily. I can't do it while being watched"

"Well, yes, there is a way. All you had to do is to try thinking you won't see me again. If you do it, the spell will think I somewhat 'death' and thus, the connection will end, but not permanently" She looked towards me while she was reading a dark magic book. Shit and stuff.

"Alright thanks" I continued my way, running along the old dusty hallway.

"Wait, to regain its connection, you need to think about me again" She yelled, but I couldn't hear what she said, perhaps it's wasn't so important.

Arriving at some bushes outside, I though about myself never seeing Moony. After some tries, I could feel an empty space in my stomach, maybe the spell worked, so why not giving a try?

Moony?

Nope, nothing here.

Oh god, not you again.

Forget about him. I unbuckled my belt, the pants falling on my ankles, and soon the underwear followed it. It took me minutes until I was done and cleaned, so I grab my pants and underwear, sliding them up and made my way back. What, did you expect me to say how good it was or how does it feel? Have you never poop in your life, jeez....

After some good walking, I roar ringed through the forest, behind me. Looking at back, I wish I didn't do it, cause when I turned, all the colors on my face faded away.

Behind me were three BIG wolves, and they weren't look like a normal wolf. Their eyes were glowing bright green, saliva dripping from their mouth corners, looking at me like I was the last cooked chicken on the planet, and they didn't have any fur, or skin, just branches and lots of woods, perhaps they aren't very resistent to fire.

Trying to find I way to get out of this, I looked towards the castle. Nope, running isn't a option, it's too far away, FUCK, not even fighting would help me, I can barely hit a table with my fist without whining from the pain.

The wolves advanced slowly towards me, in the meantime I was backing as well, until I tripped on a log, falling on my ass on a puddle of mud. Now I was really fucked up, I couldn't get up or try to attack them with my magic. Before I could scream for help, they stopped, their eyes never leaving mine. Panic started to flow through my mind, then towards my heart, and the liver, then my feet, I was so scared that I can't move any muscle, and the suspense between me and them could be cut with a knife.

I tried to remember what Moony said about regaining the connection, but I didn't hear much due to my fucking needs. And the worst began, one of them jumped on me, roaring like a mad lion.

I covered my face with the hands in defense, hoping these assholes would have mercy on a helpless soul like me. I waited for the pain, but it didn't came. Peeking curiously through my fingers, I could saw a forcefield like Moony used on me, but it was jet black. Looking up, I could see the wolf very close to me, but the barrier blocked it, as he slid slowly down on the shield, like it was made of glass.

I was completely amazed, "Did I just created a shield around myself' I asked nobody. Before I could run from them, thinking the shield will be around me even if I move, a laser beam shot from the sky the wolves. Surprised by this, they ran away, not having a change to fight a pegasus or a flying magical creature. I lowered the shield, having no idea how. I looked straight to the sky, trying to find the source. I stood up, still confused by the author who just saved my life, if you could say that.

Just before I could scream for that guy, a thing landed behind me, the ground shaking after. Looking back, I could see no one that Moony, standing there with her armor and her horn glowing, her posture giving a look like she was a true hero. The sun light was flowing through her night sky mane, making it glowing. Without hesitating, I ran towards her, hugging her tight, which she returned it.

“Thanks for saving me, but you know, I could keep those motherfuckers away!” Broking the embrace, I looked directly into her reptilian or cat-like eyes, its green color made my mind think that I should be ashamed of myself and try to….what the fuck I’m talking? I think I need a nap.

“As you say, and by judging by the look of your pants, I can see you weren’t scared at all” Her gaze turned towards to my muddy pants. It took me some time until my brain gears started to spin.

“This isn’t what it’s look like” My blush got redder when I looked down. “Nevermind, did you know any spell that could fix this?” I gestured with my hands. With a simply nod, her horn glowed, and in a flash my pants were back to normal.

Thanking her mentally, I made my way past her, into the deep forest. I didn’t go unnoticed of course, “Where are you going?” She asked. I stopped, turning around “I need to make some new friends” She stared at me emotionless, and I was standing there looking like an idiot. Before she could ask me what the hell I’m talking about, I continued “I’m going to Ponyville, see if I can somehow become friends with those ponies who almost turned me into stone. You said that would be the first step into our plan, right?” She scratched her chin, until the idea popped out.

“Ohh, yes, but I don’t think this would be a good time”

“And why not” I protested “I’m a genius at charming and I don’t see how this could go wrong” Before she could react, I waved at her, and made my way toward the city.

This will be sure a pain in the ass…

Chapter 6: New Friends, yay!

I didn’t know how many hours I spent in that forest, how many predators and giant birds could have kill me or how many times my hope and motivation slept away from my fingers but I did know a thing, that I wouldn’t let down without a fight. Equestria needs me, and I won’t disappoint them, I would be their greatest hero, the biggest legend they have even know, the one who never let them down no matter what. Every fight, every bruise, every painful feeling and every cut reminds me of what I’m doing here, what is my purpose here, that it’s my job to serve and protect the others that need it. I will never let my guard down, I will never betray my allies and friends, I will never…..

JAKE!

What?

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

You only walked thirty steps from me.

Her sentence woke me from my fantasy, and a good one. I could see that I’m still in this forest, and Moony was behind me, looking with a bored face. Her mood was telling me she doesn’t have time for my gold jokes, even if I could bright her day. Resuming my path, I though what could I do so those six girls would be grateful to become my friend, I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with me, the coolest guy ever.

You don’t have friends.

Shut up!

While watching the foliage that surrounded me like everywhere, I didn’t notice the tree in front until I hit it directly with my face, losing my balance in the process. As the pain in my head won’t fade away, I got the greatest idea I could have.

You never had any great ideas.

Will you shut the hell up!?

Soon as I regain my posture, I bolted straight to Ponyville, the dirt flying as my sneakers made contact with it. I ran so fast that Usain Bolt would be jealous. My view got blurred as I dodge some obstacles on the road: rocks big as my half height, some logs, mud pools). When I arrived in the clearance, I could clearly see Ponyville. The sun was beating with a blinding light on Ponyville, the heat was unbearable in my clothes, and it does not help the fact that I have already started to sweat like a rhinoceros, or if they even sweat.

The Everfree Forest was much cooler and more pleasant, thanks to the many shadows that cover every corner of the forest. Anyway, once I got out of the woods, my skin started to burn under the merciless rays, and I had to cover my eyes so I can see in front of me without tripping over something. Yep, it’s sure it’s summer, I mean, Celestia, what the hell are you doing, those ponies could probably be killed from the heat, even me, and it’s even worse that they have fur.

Ignoring the heat, I saw them right in the middle of the town. All six of them were there, on the cobblestone road, talking to……..what the heck?

I saw a lot of things in my life, but I never saw something so fucked up. It's like putting seven different animals in a blender and gave them life. That thing was much taller than me, it has two different legs, and one of them was….a goat one? The other was a dragon, and even the hands were different, one was a lion one, and the other was a hawk one. Just before I could saw his horns and wings, it simply disappeared with a snap sound.

You know what? I saw enough things in this world since I arrived here, so this doesn’t surprise me at all!

Oh lords, that was Discord, the God of Chaos

God of Chaos…are you serious?

Unfortunately, yes. It looks like Celestia and the Elements though that Discord could be reformed before…

Okay! You can tell me when I come back, now I don’t even want to talk about this.

Someone is butttttthhhhhurt

Screw you!

God of chaos, I wouldn’t be neither surprised if there was even the Princess of love! Anyway, after they done with the talking, that orange pony was coming right towards the forest entrance, just where I was hiding in the bushes. Maybe I should make a badass entrance so they would respect me. So, I jumped out of the bushes really quiet, all of them stopped in their tracks, except that orange one, she had her eyes closed.

Believe me or not, I was pissing on myself from fear, they were the one who almost turned me into stone, well, except Pinkie. The western pone looked behind her and asked puzzled.

“Come on girls, what's the matter?” She asked curiously, without realizing that I was just 5 meters from her. Everyone else looked at me, not even blinking, as if they saw a ghost. I can not describe how afraid I was on the inside, but I couldn’t start screaming and run away to the castle, it would be pretty bullshit. So I joined and play, I did not move out of place, and I didn’t take my eyes off them. If their eyes could kill, I'd be dead already. The orange one looked in front, and, like the others, remained motionless when my eyes landed on it.

"I...think we found him" The rainbow mare said interrupt the silence, everyone nodding slowly after her words. Well, I couldn’t stay there all day looking at them, this would be boring, and because of the suspense, I made my first step towards them.

Just when my sneaked made contact with the dry ground, Twilight’s horn glowed lightly, her face could only describe anger. I didn’t realize what the hell she was doing until a big laser beam came out of the horn, coming right towards me. I couldn’t dodge it, so I made a crazy move. I tried to create a shield around myself. I didn’t knew what was inside my head, I don’t even knew how to make one! When these wooden wolves attacked me, it was just from fear.

JAKE, WATCH OUT

Hearing her voice, I focus my whole power, trying to imagine a shield in front of me. Time seemed to slow down when the laser was so close to me, and, I waved my hand and closed my eyes.

…

I couldn’t feel pain, I don’t even feel different, did I just died again? The laser was so powerful that I couldn’t even feel the agony, maybe god already….

Open your goddamn eyes!

Alright, calm down! So I did what he said, and I couldn’t believe again! The black shield was there, just where I wanted to be. I open my palm, and the shield vanish, but their faces where change from stone-still to completely scare…or amazed, I don’t know?

“H-how did you…” Twilight asked, just before she could finish, I stopped her.

“What the hell is wrong with all of you?!” I screamed at them, trying to be convincing that I don’t know why they attack me.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow interjected, confused as well as Twilight.

“What do I mean? Well, first of all, everyone of you came to me and start firing rainbows and shit at me, for no reason, and then Twilight also tries to shoot me with a laser. What can I possibly mean?”

What are you doing?

Trust me, I know what I’m doing

“But we received strictly orders from Princess Celestia to…” I cutted Twilight again, screming like a madman

“Celestia can go fuck herself!!” My hands were clenching from anger right now, and it was not from my acting, but because they were following her orders like robots, not caring about a living creature that came from another world, NO!, why would they think of that?

As my rage was leaving my body all their faces were left in confussion.

“What’s ‘fuck’?” Pinkie asked mindless. I couldn’t believe they didn’t even have the word ‘fuck’ here. What kind of society is that?

“Okay, let me clarify this” I was pinching the bridge of my nose “Celestia wanted me stoned for no reason?”

“Oh my, of course not, Princess Celestia would never do that, she actually told us to use the Elements of Harmony on you because…well… last time humans showed here, they nearly took Celestia throne and doomed all the Equestria” I could already feel insulted from Twilight words, but I don’t have time for that. So I pretended I didn’t knew what happened from what I read from that book, maybe I could be friends with them.

Don’t forget my… I m-mean ‘our’ plan to regain my night and Celestia’s Throne. Your friendship with them won’t last long.

Ohhh…fine

So I continued asking “Just because I’m a human, does mean I would do the exact same thing like others?” As I blamed them, my plan was perfectly working, they even felt guilty for that misunderstood.

Just when I forgot about our plan, that ‘feeling free’ sensation that grew inside me, and I though that I won’t feel it until the death of my parents. Meh, but that happens when you try to suicide. Don’t do it kids!

Okay, now that they feel pretty guilty, it was time to take out the special weapon

“Anyway, if Celestia really wants me dead, then you can tell her I was ate by a bear or some shit, and I would never come back here again” After I wave to them, I walked into the forest, hanging me head low, looking very depressed, and as I was just about to disappear behind some bushes, I heard:

“WAIT” The white mare screamed. I smirked as I looked behind.

“Darling, how about we know each other, I mean all of us at a more convenient place, like a restaurant? In that way, we all could apologize for our misunderstood, right girls?” They all nodded in approval, and it looks like my idea was a success.

“Sure, I’ll love to. Just as was about to find something to eat” I chuckle a bit, we all went to Ponyville, me walking beside them. Not even ten seconds passed until the blonde mare asked.

“So, what’s yer name, partner?”

“I’m Jake, what about all of you?” My acting was going smoothly, mind as well use it on Celestia sometimes.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus in Equestria.” Rainbow proudly said, and I just smirked at her.

“Name’s Applejack, nice to meet ya.”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity” She said, pointing at each one, greeting in their way.

“Ummh…is nice to meet you” The quiet one added.

“Yes, I am Rarity, the only and the best fashioista you’ll ever meet.” Rarity bragged. Her own accent reminds me of these stingy rich people.

“I’m glad we met each other, Jakey! We are going to have so much fun at the party. ” Pinkie cheered, her smile never leaving that face.

“Oh yeah, that party”

“Pinkie already told us about you, and how you didn’t attack or being a threat at her, but we didn’t listen, and…. we’re sorry” Twilight revealed, as I was looking down at her, that face could easily be read ‘will you forgive me?’.

“Hey, why the long face? Anypony could make a mistake like that, especially when the ruler of a land wants me to be a garden dwarf

I’m quite impressed you manage to be so easily accepted, and even make them feel sorry for their own actions.

That’s what they teach me in the school. Whining is the solution for all, I always use that when I was sent at the Principal Office..

As I was walking down the street, I could see that lots of these ponies that were yesterday were looking strange at me, like they we’re afraid or something. Guess that you can’t join them if you’re a goddamn alien from another universe.

After many excuses and confusion with the girls, we come to a place like that restaurant or fast food when I was with Pinkie, but the 'seats' were made of hay. By our luck, we found a really big table with about seven chairs.

This place has absolutely no meat or anything like that. They even have daisy sandwich and…hayfries? Well, it makes sense as they are ponies thought. Each one ordered different kind of foods, and I just ordered some ordinary sandwich.

“So…” I began “Why don’t you tell me about yourselves” I asked, taking a look at them.

After half an hour…

After lots of debates and introductions, I learned so far about everyone here. Rarity, is a fashionista, and really knows how to make dresses and shit like that, and even her name is famous in Canterlot. Applajack runs an apple farm with her family, bucking apples and day long and she said they have the best cider I could ever taste, yeah sure.

Rainbow Dash is a really fast pegasus who wants to become a Wonderbolt, consisting of team of pegasus, they perform lots of demonstrations and events, pretty much like an F-16 event, I think.

Moving on, Fluttershy is a bit sheepish, she doesn’t talk very much, I could barely ask her something without the intervention of her friends. She’s also somewhat fascinated but creeped at the same time by my species, pretty strange, huh? Fluttershy lives in a cottage near the forest, with her animal friends, much like an old cat lady. Pinkie Pie really likes parties and celebrations, she helps working in a bakery with a family that possess the building, very awkward for me. She’s always happy with her friends and loves to make eveypony smile. Reminds of a guy in my classroom, who’s very happy when we’re near him, but the truth is, he really hates everyone, and I mean everyone, I barely know his name anymore, Mick, Michael….

Anyway, the last one is Twilight Sparkle. She appears to be Celestia’s student and pupil. pretty cool, having a god-ness at your side, nobody could fuck with you. She also has an hobby of reading books, and likes to read a lot. She even lives in that tree house I saw yesterday, actually, is a library. I little dull for me.

“So, Jake” Rainbow began “How did you get here?” As she asked in confussion, I felt my pulse quicked, and my hands suddenly got all sweaty. I couldn’t tell them, what would they think? I suicidal guy landed here and wants to be friend with every pony in this world? Hell no, so I gulped, and answered.

“I don’t want to talk about that” My face was emotionless, until Pinkie quickly added:

“But Jake told me he sui…mhhhhww” With the speed of light, I covered her mouth with my palm, and by my luck, she got the idea.

“Alllllright, if you don’t want to” She frowned, and I could already feel my nerves calm down.

After ‘god-knows’ minutes.

So everything works good as we chatting, Twilight explained to me who’s the ruler, even if I know.

“What do you mean, she lowers and raise the sun?” I cut her dumbfounded.

“It’s true, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both controls the sun and the moon in harmony. Don’t you have that in your world” Twilight replied.

“No, we don’t have magic and shit like you guys have.” They all looked at me, eyes widen in surprise, and I was just looking at them “What?”

“How can your world not have any magic. Who controls the sun, then?” Twilight added slightly impressed, her notepad and feather ink grasped in her magic.

“Nobody… I mean, nopony do that. You see, our planet lies in planetary system called The Solar System. There are whole kind of different planets, I think there are nine planets, but anyway, in the middle of this system is a star called the sun, just like yours. It’s bigger than any other planets in the system, and now you’re asking, how does night and day cycle happens. Well, all these nines planets have orbits, which in that way, they revolve around the Sun...

Another five long minutes later.

“And that’s how we have the day and the night” My mouth was burning from all that talking, so I drank some water from the glass. Everyone seemed extremely tired, rather, bored, only Twilight was fascinated about everything I said. I could swear I saw a bit of sparks from the feather when she finished.

During our meeting, I couldn’t but notice a smell that made me wanna rip my nose off. Trying to locate the source, I sniffed with my nose, and, surprise, surprise, it was me. I smell like shit, I don’t even had a shower before arriving here in this land, except that pond, but it doesn’t count. Just sniffing it made me wanna puke all over the table, and I was not the only one who notice the smell too.

“Darling, I couldn’t notice that….ummh….odor you have. Would you like using my shower at my boutique?” The white mare offered. I couldn’t believe they let me even in their shower, just from a lunch time. Well, it’s better than smelling crap. So I accepted her offer.

lunch time. Well, it’s better than smelling crap. So I accepted her offer

“Thanks, Rarity, I appreciate it” Smiling at her, I tried to get up from the ‘chair’, my back was sore, and the pain took over.

So, I waved and said goodbye to all of them as I made my way with Rarity to her house, or boutique.

“Rarity, thank you so much” As I reminded her, she keeps acting like it was nothing. Needing to shower almost every day is not a pleasure for a man, but you still need to do it if you don’t wanna smell like shit anyway.

“Darling, you don’t have to thank me, a pony…I mean a hooman should not be messy just because the society we live won’t accept him.

“What do you mean…” I asked confused but Rarity cut me after.

“Well, Jake, there was a zebra that came into the town, and everypony, I mean EVERYpony, was afraid of her. She looked strange and nopony know why she was here, and that’s why we spent the whole morning hiding from. Her name was Zecora, and she’s really nice to talk to her. And that’s how we learned never judge a pony by its look.”

“Wow, I can’t believe…you guys even have zebras here?” The mare just facehoof from my foolishness. We didn’t changed a word while we walked on the paved road until we came to a sort of... I have no idea what this thing is. It looks like a tower from a castle with a base ... only it's very fancy.

“Well, we’re here, come in, Jake, I’ll show you where the bathroom is” She said while opening the front door. When I came inside, I notice that there was lots of…mannequins in a pony form.

Rarity walked to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the main room. There was also many sewing materials, and all kinds of dresses and costumes made for ponies. The whole place looks like it was cleaned just today, there wasn’t even dust on something. My eyes peered from place to place until they landed on a pony, and it was not Rarity.

That pony just descended the stairs until (s)he saw me, becoming motionless. Her fur color was brighter than Rarity’s, and the mane was somehow like Pinkie, a mix between pink and mouve. She, I think, is surely smaller than an average pony so perhaps she’s a filly. So anyway, as our eyes were stuck on each other, I made my first words.

“Umm..hi!” I smiled at her.

“AHhhhhhhhhh, MONSTER!!” She screamed in horror, running outside on the front door. I was just standing there still, asking myself what did I say wrong? Rarity came right away at me when that filly ran.

“I’m so sorry darling for my little sister behavior. It’s not typical to see a new kind from another world” Her words reminds me of my second day here. All these ponies in Ponyville were scared of me. Still, I don’t give a damn thing about it.

“It’s nothing, Rarity, I been through this” Her sadness was quickly turned into glad. “So, where’s the toilet?” I reminded her, and she gasped.

“Oh my, I almost forget, it’s on the first left upstairs” Just when I was about go to up, she stopped me.

“Jake, wait, you can’t keep those clothes on you always. I would be pleased to clean them if you would like to”

“Sure” I striped from my clothes, and before I knew, I was already naked, well, except the boxers. She just stand there looking at me, blushing a little.

“And these need to go off, too” She pointed at my underwear as my cheeks started to flush red.

“Ummm, I don’t want to” The quick reply didn’t work.

“Why not, Jake, what are you hiding?” More like ‘what is hiding in you underwear’. I didn’t wanted to take them off in front of her, also I didn’t want to tell her what I’m hiding. So, I raised the white flag, but not before I closed the connection with Nightmare

“Alright, but don’t look” She just rolled her eyes, closing them after. With the speed of light, I slide them of legs and I ran upstairs. Following her directions, I walked into the first door, and I found it. Everything was mauve and pink but the toilet, the tub, and the sink. Speaking of the tub, it was HUGE, like those giant Jacuzzis. I think you could have an orgy with six people here.

So, I stepped into the tub, and turned the shower on, letting the water pour on my whole body. The feel was amazing as the ‘filthy’ sensation vanished. When I finished washing, I took a glance at these bodywashes. All of them were for mare, I mean, seriously? Blackberry, cherry, and even banana scent? Maybe the Blackberry one would be better than the others. So I continued washing my hair and every part of my body.

I turned off the shower, and stepped out, grapping a red towel and tied around my hips. Looking at the mirror, I saw the beard that I shave a week ago grew back a little. Meh, I’ll take care of that later, right now I need a hairdryer. Looking around, I found one that, of course, it was pink. I nearly finished when Rarity knocked on the door.

“Darling, are you done yet? Your clothes are ready” I turned off the dryer, walking towards the door.

“Yeah, I’m done” I opened the door to find Rarity standing in front of it, my clothes beside her in a magic grip. I thanked her, taking my clothes with me back in the bathroom. They’re better now, I no longer feel the sweat on my neck or under my armpits, and no longer that mud. After I finished, I left the boutique and again thanked her. To my surprise, it was already sunset, the air became more cool as the shadows were getting longer. The sky started to get a light blue color, and the stars already made their way on it. So I waved to Rarity, only to let her in confusion.

“Where are you going, Jake?” Oh shit, not this again. So I need to find again another excuse?

“I’m going back home” As I quickly replied, I sprinted towards the forest, the mare didn’t even had a change to ask where. The path wasn’t very long until I find the castle and its clearance, the sunlight already started to vanish. I stepped into the castle to only meet silence. Perhaps she’s in that study room, so I made my way to the library, only to find passage open.

I was right, she was there, laying on her belly on the floor, reading an old boring book she told me about. As I walked behind her, I could not help noticing how big her flanks are… and how sexy they look from behind. Oh my, those flanks were big, not very huge, but they looked rather….perfect. Her cutie mark covers both flanks, and that tail that was flowing in a non-existent wind, little stars were shining from, like the nightsky, was covering her privates. Thanks god she didn’t turned around to see me standing there like a fucking pervert.

Swiggity swooty, give me that booty.

I think I drooled a little before I shook my head, regaining my posture, I sat down beside her. She wasn’t surprise at all as I smiled at her, showing that my idea worked perfectly.

“I guess you had a good day?” She asked merrily.

“Oh you have no idea” I chukle a bit, cuddling with her as we're reading together.

README.TXT

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

*Update on the Story

Ok, for all of you, I'm sorry to say that but right now, I got A LOT of tests at high school, so basically, I won't have enough time to update Falling into the Nightmare until the end of the month, but I will try my best in weekends. Also, for The night in my house, sorry, but the story it's cancelled, 'cause it's horrible. The writing, the story, Luna personality, it's too rushed, lots of junk paragrafs....so yeah, sorry about that.

ANYWAY, the summer is coming, the heat is coming, the flowers are rising to the sky, the birds are dancing on the sky, and what I would do when that happens? Lots of Monster Drink and a shitty PC, and of course, DayZ and writing.

That's all folks, see ya later.