The Sun Will Die!by CrackersChapters"The Sun's Going To Explode!""Don't Worry, We All Know She's Mental""...I hate you so much right now""The Sun's Going To Explode!"Twilight Sparkle liked to be neat. Her room was neat. She also blew up when somepony ruined the neatness. Twilight liked to think that she had OCD. Spike liked to tell her that it was anger problems. Twilight Sparkle also liked to think that she was clever and carried out her research with the utmost neatness and carefulness possible. Everypony knew the fact was true. That said, the Alicorn used her magic for 82.67% of the research she conducted, and everypony knew magic was Twilight's strength. Twilight Sparkle loved research. She couldn't go a day without doing some research, or she'd go mental. That particular day, the newly crowned Princess was researching stars. Specifically, she was seeing what the biggest star in the universe was, and when it would blow up. It worried Twilight that if she did find a star bigger than normal, it'd turn Equestria to dust. Stars, they were mean. "Twilight, I still think you've gone wrong here," Spike grumbled, holding the 50m parchment in his hands. "Like, how the heck can a star be 864938 miles in diameter?" "Anything is possible, Spike," Twilight mumbled, carefully inspecting the sheet of paper. "Hmm, the locations of where this humongous star is are vague, but it looks as if it's close to the sun." Spike raised an eyebrow. "So does that mean that if this weirdo star explodes, the sun will, you know, die?" "It appears so." "Woah." Silence filled the basement as Twilight squinted at the papers. She squinted closer. Was that...? No, it was impossible...but anything was impossible...she had to alert the Princess at once! The Alicorn got to her hooves, urgency in her eyes. "Spike, take a letter to Princess Celestia! The sun's going to explode!" * * * "Haha, your moon isn't on this game, but my sun is!" "Sister, I think you're missing the point. Besides, the Minecraft studio said they're gonna add the moon to the next update," Luna pushed her controller to the right, narrowly missing a skeleton's arrow. "Argh! Why did you destroy our house?" "Because it was small," Celestia pointed out. "And made out of stone." Luna rolled her eyes and groaned. "Sometimes, sister, I wish I could slap-" A parchment appeared out of nowhere and accidently smacked Celestia in the muzzle. "-you in the face." Luna put a hoof over her muzzle, making a poor effort to restrain the fit of giggles threatening to spill out. Celestia sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her sister. "Well, I'd better see what Twilight wants me to know about." "Wait!" Luna immediately removed her hoof from her mouth and looked pleadingly at the white Alicorn heading towards the door. "Don't leave me!" Seeing that Celestia had no intention of staying of staying behind, she gritted her teeth and frowned at her Minecraft game. "Now I know why Cadence told me that I should give up on teaching Tia how to play Minecraft." * * * Princess Celestia pulled the hood of her clothes closer around her head and fidgeted with the hair bobble that was holding an enormous amount of ethereal mane. She had tried putting her mane in a ponytail, but what the heck, Celestia's mane didn't become anymore manageable, so she had put it in a bun. She was not pleased. "I look like a freaking granny," Celestia muttered as she walked through the streets of Ponyville. "Who's one thousand years old." The Princess didn't know any full transformation spells - only Changelings could master that art - else, she would have simply turned into some dentist of something. So Celestia could only borrow one of Luna's hoodies to hide her mane and transform her legs to an incredibly short height. They were very uncomfortable. And fat. Definitely fat. "Ooh!" A pink blur whizzed past Celestia and circled her at a crazy speed. Pinkie Pie. Just looking at the pony made Celestia feel dizzy and sick. She didn't have time for ponies who were high on caffeine. Neither did she have time for crazy pink lunatics that liked to party. Celestia had received an enormous amount of letters from ponies complaining that they couldn't sleep due to 'highly distracting noises from the crazy cupcake place.' Although she put on her 'nice' face in front of Pinkie, she was fuming inside. Did she know how much trouble Celestia had received from her? Did she? ’Nope,’ Celestia decided. ’Probably not.’ Celestia carried on walking, a grumpy expression on her face. God, Pinkie was annoying. How was Twilight her friend? Thank the lord that the other Elements weren't as unbearable as her. When would she go away? Celestia frowned and plodded on through the streets, receiving a few strange looks from other ponies. Heck. She couldn't blame them. * * * Twilight Sparkle trotted anxiously around the ground floor of her library. "Where is she, Spike? I told her to come at ten thirty AM, and," she looked up at the ticking clock. "It's three minutes past eleven!" Spike sighed and set down the books he was carrying on the window sill. "Twi, take a chill pill." "Take a chill pill?!" The Alicorn glared at Spike. "The Princess has never been late in the three thousand years she's lived!" "I'm sure she's just-" Spike's voice trailed off as he looked out of the window. "Hey, Twi, you may wanna see this." "What can be so important that it-" Twilight's voice trailed off as she looked out of the window. "Oh. Oh." * * * Princess Celestia fumed as she took off her hoodie. "I hate Ponyville. I hate Pinkie Pie. I hate pink. I hate pie," Then she stopped. "No. I still love pie. Just not pink pie." Twilight sighed. She had seen her mentor in this state before and she hadn't liked it. "Would you like some tea, Princess?" "Tea?" Celestia's eyes lit up. "Of course!" Then she stopped again. "Wait. It's not pink, is it?" Twilight groaned into her hoof. This was going to be a long day. * * * "So, Twilight," Celestia smiled a little too widely at the uncomfortable purple Alicorn opposite her. "What was so important that you needed me to be in Ponyville?" She was still a little traumatised about the experience she had had with that pink...tyrant thing. No, cross that out. She was very traumatised. And embarassed. If it was possible for Twilight's face to fall any further, it did. "Of course, Princess. But...you might not like...um...you know..." "Twilight, you're a Princess as well. You can call me Celestia. And no, I don't know." "...you might not like the results of my research..." "Is it about pink ponies?" Celestia's eyes glittered. "Nope," Twilight said quickly. "Nope, nope, nope! It's about the sun." Celestia gasped. Would she...? Under all the tuition she had given her? Heck, she had trusted Twilight. She would have trusted her with her freaking life. The Alicorn shook her head sadly. "You want to take over the sun, don't you?" Twilight gasped in unison with Celestia. “What?! Of course not!” She shook her head and stood up, swishing her tale restlessly from side to side. “I think you should come down to the basement.” * * * “I must say, Twilight,” Celestia smiled, looking around. “That your basement is very tidy, compared to others I have seen.” Twilight smiled proudly, blushing profusely and mumbling something inaudible. She then shook her head again sadly, as if she were seeing the other Alicorn for the last time. “B-before I show you my research papers, I have to ask you, Pri- Celestia…” She looked up hesitantly. “Uh…is your life force connected to the life of the sun?” Celestia looked at Twilight, bewildered. “Wherever did you get that thought from?” “Because,” Twilight frowned. “The day you were born was when the sun appeared.” “Oh.” ’I should really check that. It’s quite a worrying thought.’ “It’s also the rumour currently being spread around Ponyville,” Twilight added. “Rarity told me the spa ponies won’t shut up about it. But, Pri - I mean - Celestia, is that a yes or a no?” “Um…” ’God, Twilight’s smarter than me.’ “…no…” “Oh!” Twilight’s face creased into a happy and relieved smile. “It won’t be that bad, then!” This was really starting to worry Celestia. Author's Note This hasn't gone through editing yet, so please excuse me. :3 I wrote this up because I felt guilty for deleting my old stories and having followers who didn't have anything to look at... I'm also out of practise at writing fiction at the moment, so again, excuse me. XD This is a silly little fic which I expect no favourites or likes from. But...if you do like this, an upvote and a fave would be nice. Pretty please? Also, I'm aiming to make this a three-shot with small chapters and rather out-of-detail paragraphs. :3 The characters will be OOC plainly for the humour. Thanks, guys! "Don't Worry, We All Know She's Mental"Luna was happy. Here she was, eating a McDonald veggie burger, sucking at a chocolate milkshake and beating up creepers and zombies on Minecraft. Yep. She was totally happy. All that happiness was destroyed as the door to her chambers burst open. A white guard - her sisters, to be precise, trotted up to her and bowed. Luna looked at him in distaste. She didn't know why Celestia chose those awful designs for her army uniform. Those helmets looked like they had just been struck by lightning, for god's sake. "What?" Luna snapped at the guard. Those ponies annoyed her. All other ponies were fine. Just not those white and blue lightning rods. Why the heck were they even in her chambers? "Make it snappy." The guard didn't even flinch. "Her highness, Princess Celestia, isn't in her chambers! We've looked all over Canterlot, and we couldn't find her!" Luna rolled her eyes. "She went for a walk - duh." "A walk so long that she ended up out of Canterlot?" "Shut up." Luna shifted uncomfortably at how wrong-hooved she must have looked. "With pleasure, your highness." Luna thought for a moment. It surprised her that Celestia had gone somewhere without her precious, stupid lightning rods. "Yeah. She must have gone for a long walk. I don't think Celestia would have disappeared without a trace. I mean, there's a small possibility that Discord could have accidentally on purpose forgotten to perish those big thorns, but then they would have come after me as well." The guard looked at her anxiously, taking off his helmet and putting it back on again. "Are you sure?" "Quite." "Beg your pardon, your highness, but why would the ruler of Equestria go for a walk all the way out of Canterlot without at least one of her guards?" Luna smiled. "Don't worry, we all knew she was mental, didn't we?" * * * "...and that basically results in the fact that due to the sun being a star, it will someday explode." Twilight looked up from her research paper, brows creased behind her glasses in concentration. "Don't worry, it won't explode until ages - a few thousand millenniums, I should think." Celestia was silent for a moment. "But it will explode." She said slowly. "Yep. But not until a few thousand millenniums." Celestia looked at her former student, her mind racing. Her sun was said to live forever. Somepony must have altered her sun. Somepony with power...and somepony who could control stars. "...Twilight, did you know that a millennium is, like, ten years for us immortal bodies?" "No...?" Twilight's face suddenly sobered. "Oh. Oh." Celestia stood up on her hooves. "Do you think you could give me a moment or two outside?" Twilight smiled in a somewhat understanding way. "Of course, Princess. You know the way out." She watched the other Alicorn head for the exit. "Oh, and Twilight?" Celestia turned around to address the purple pony. "You might want to get some earplugs." * * * Minuette was a normal unicorn, who lived a quiet life on the outskirts of Ponyville. She walked to the dentists everyday at six thirty in the morning every day to earn some bits, and had a colt friend in Manehattan. Her life was pretty good. The spearmint unicorn levitated a poster up to the wall and fixed it in place. Minuette's shift had ended and Minty had taken over. Her boss had said she could help out by fixing some of the posters to make the place look even immaculate as it already was. Just then, a high pitched scream crashed into her office, cracking a window slightly. Minuette flinched and staggered backwards. Was that...? That was Princess Celestia's voice, wasn't it? And was it her imagination, or had she heard the words 'Luna, I am going to murder you?' Minuette shrugged and returned to her job. Everything was back to normal. Apart from the fact that somepony would have to come to fix the broken window. But that was it. Everypony knew Celestia was mental anyway. * * * Twilight gingerly took out the three balls of cotton that had been stuffed in each of her ears as Celestia came back down to the basement. "W-would you like some tea, Princess?" "Celestia," She replied automatically. "And no thanks. I have a job to do." Celestia extended her wings and looked at Twilight pointedly, hoping she'd guess what her former mentor was going to do. But she had hoped wrong. Twilight just sat there with a bemused expression on her face, her purple wings unfolded slightly as well. Celestia would have slapped herself in teh face if not for her golden shoes. The perks of being a Princess. It was a shame Twilight never wore the pair of shoes Cadence had made for her. How ungrateful. She didn't even wear her crown! No wonder taxis didn't stop for Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparklewhen she wanted one. Whatever. "Twilight," Celestia began. "I need to fly to Canterlot. My guards are at the castle and I want to pulv-" "You can't fly to Canterlot." Twilight cut in. "If you forgive me for interrupting you, Pri- I mean, Celestia." 'No,' She thought, annoyed. 'I don't forgive you.' "Why ever not, my dear Twilight?" "Because," Twilight explained. "What do you think would happen if all the ponies in Equestria saw a white Alicorn - namely, you - flying through the sky? Wouldn't the pegasi mob you as well? And you'd be surrounded by paparazzi!" She shuddered. "Oh," Celestia was thrown. 'Yep. Twilight is a lot smarter than me.' "I'll go by train then." Twilight sighed, the only thing keeping her from face - hoofing was the fact she was talking to the oldest Alicorn in Equestria. "Princess, Celestia, whoever, the problem will only escalate from there. Isn't it worse getting mobbed by all three pony species?" She smiled patiently. "Unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies will be on every single train we pass." "...I knew that." "Oh course you did!" Twilight declared happily. "You're the wisest and cleverest pony in Equestria!" 'Well, at least one pony believes that.' "Ehem..." Celestia cleared her throat. "So what do you propose I do now?" Twilight grinned. "Disguise!" * * * Celestia coughed into her hoof. "I still don't understand why you don't need to wear a disguise." "Because," Twilight said patiently. "I'm a regular passenger on this train. You, on the other hoof, are not." "Why the heck did you have to put this disguise on me?" "Because it looks realistic." Celestia had a pink coat and mane. Her hair was poofy and three balloons adorned her flank. Her blue eyes were half lidded and flashed in annoyance. Overall, she looked exactly like a Pinkie clone from the Mirror Pool. Except she didn't want to have fun. That was the only difference. "I told you especially not to make me that pony. Why did it have to be her?" Celestia huffed grumpily. "Couldn't I have been a regular dentist or something?" "She had the simplest mane. You just sleep in bed for a few hours and you look exactly like Pinkie Pie. The others were too hard to get. Also, to answer your question," Twilight continued. "I normally board these trains with one of my friends. You know, friends I hang out with regularly." A couple passed by and looked at Celestia with a strange look on their face. They carried on walking, but kept on throwing worried glances at her. She glared at them. "What're they looking at?" Twilight sighed. "You have to look happy. And you need to bounce." Celestia turned her glare on Twilight, who just grinned. "C'mon, this'll be fun!" Author's Note Still in need of editing. I'm not too happy with the end of this chapter. :/ "...I hate you so much right now"Celestia groaned and yawned, twisting about on the seats. Twilight looked perfectly comfortable, her back resting against the soft padding of the couch. Thanks to the latter pony's newly gained wings, the two had got a five star carriage on the train. The luxury, however, did not appear to stretch so far that the vehicle's speed was boosted. "I hate Ponyville even more right now," Celestia scowled, pushing her new bushy mane out of the way. "Do they not have any respect for us Princesses?" "It's better than Manehattan," Twilight replied, her lips tightening. "At least in Ponyville they let us on the train." Celestia frowned at Twilight. "They didn't let you on a train in Manehattan?" Twilight shook her head. "A taxi." She said shortly, before relapsing into silence. "Oh," Celestia said. "I didn't know they were so rude. Especially to Princesses." "You sound like you've never actually been there before." Twilight laughed without any humour. Celestia stared at Twilight like she was crazy. "...I haven't." Twilight stared back. "But you're the ruler of Equestria! I thought you'd have been all over the world!" She thought for a moment. "Why didn't you ever go?" She asked. Celestia shook her head. "'Couldn't be bothered. I hate traveling by vehicle, did you know? I much rather prefer teleporting or flying. Even walking is better than getting on these things." She was beginning to wish she hadn't replied to Twilight's claim about Manehattan. The other Alicorn was staring at her in shock. It was annoying. And freaky. She couldn't get back to sleep and dream about cakes, now, because of Twilight. * * * Twilight groaned as some pony shook her shoulders. She lazily unfolded her wings and flapped them wildly to get whoever was trying to get her attention away. Her tactic seemed to work. Twilight heard a surprised "Ow!" and a thump which suggested the pony had fallen over. She winced as her tail pulled. He - or she - had accidentally snagged it whilst they fell. She opened her eyes grumpily and saw a pink pony holding her nose with a pale hoof on the floor. "Pinkie?" Twilight clenched her teeth together. "Why on earth did you do that? And how did you get into my house?" She pulled herself up and feebly touched her now sprained rear legs. "You don't know, as usual," She said grumpily. "Only Celestia knows." "Yeah, she knows." A pained voice - certainly not Pinkie's - said from somewhere below the Alicorn. "The train, uh, stopped and I tried to wake you up but you freaking slapped me in the nose." Pinkie (?) cringed as she gingerly removed her hoof from the nose. No massive damage was done and there wasn't a sign of any bleeding. Twilight groggily opened her eyes and gasped as her memories flooded back to her. Her lavender cheeks were flushed a deep red. Oh great - she had just slapped a senior Alicorn on the nose. Twilight nearly slapped herself on the nose as well. Her life sucked. "Uhh, Princess? Are you okay?" Then she remembered something. "Oh, I mean - Celestia, are you okay?" "Pretty much," Celestia said grumpily as she stood up and brushed herself off. "Why the heck did you do that?" "We should get off before we land the train-driver into trouble," Twilight substituted evasively. "Plus, we need to get off quickly to -" Her voice trailed off. It had never occurred to her before. "Uh, Prin- Celestia? Can I ask you something?" Celestia had her hoof on the door. She was excited for what was going to happen next. She got to send Luna to the moon again - who wouldn't get excited by that? But she was really annoyed at Twilight for slapping her in the face. It hurt. "What? Make it quick!" "Why are we even going to Canterlot?" * * * Luna happily nommed on her sister's birthday cake. She now knew why Celestia loved cake so much. Seriously; she was going to ask her Mum for the exact same cake for her own birthday. Except it needed to be blue. The cake didn't look right when it was pink. She was rudely interrupted in her cake-ish fantasy by those annoying white and blue lightning rods. For like the one hundredth time that day. "Again?" Luna asked, annoyed. "You've come in here, like, a million times!" The guard looked at her strangely. "I beg your pardon, Your Highness -" "I don't accept your pardon," Luna cut in. "- but this is the second time today I came in." "Enough!" Luna snapped, glaring at the guards. She didn't like smart ponies. "Why're you here?" "Two ponies want to see you," The guard said, not responding to her hostile tone. "Princess Twilight Sparkle and some idi- hyperactive pink mare," He bowed his head. "Should I allow them to come in?" Luna nodded. The guard left the room and two ponies automatically burst in. Well, one of them did. The other one looked like she didn't want to be there. That one was Twilight. Luna thought her gaze would light up when she saw her fellow Princess, but it only fell even further. "Hello, Princess," Twilight greeted her sadly, looking at Luna as if she were seeing her for the last time. The pink pony stared at Luna with her mouth agape. "That - what - that's my cake!" A cold feeling crept around Luna's heart. That voice was ever so familiar... The pony glared at Luna and turned to Twilight. "Can you take off my disguise? I miss my horn!" Twilight nodded and sighed, magenta sparks channeling visibly through her horn. There was a bright flash and Luna winced as the light cleared to show Princess Celestia standing in the place of the pink pony. She looked furious. Livid. Scary. Luna hastily shoved the cake behind her. "Oh," Celestia said ominously. "You did not just eat my birthday cake." "I do not know what you are talking about." Luna flinched away from her sister, eyes avoiding the purple ones opposite her. "You imbec-" Twilight cleared her throat and put a leg on Celestia's back. "Uh, Princess? Back on subject?" Celestia looked at the purple Alicorn and an understanding seemed to pass through them. Reluctantly, the Alicorn backed away. Luna threw a grateful nod at Twilight, who gave a strained smile back. "I do not stop because I'm more worried about this subject I'm going to start." Celestia said hurriedly, seeing her sister raise an eyebrow. "Indeed." "I'm doing this because of Twilight." "You are?" Twilight's brow creased, but she shut up when Celestia looked at her. "Yeah. She wishes to spare you - for the moment - because...hmm...uh...she has feelings...for you?" Celestia supplied hopefully. Twilight failed to pick up the unconvincing tone in her former mentor's voice. "What?!" She exploded. "I don't have any freaking feelings for he- mpph!" Celestia stuffed a hoof in Twilight's mouth, still with the shoes on and everything. Luna rolled her eyes at her sister's play. Did she really think that her, Princess of Night, bringer of nightmares and dreams, could be so gullible. "So what did you want to talk about?" "That," Celestia said coldly. "Is what I wanted to talk about." * * * After waiting ten minutes for Twilight to wash her mouth and Celestia to wash her hoof, the three Princesses finally in the astronomy room. Twilight left the others and started murmuring to herself as she ran her hoof over all the expensive equipment Luna used whilst stargazing. Celestia watched her under a disapproving gaze, whilst Luna seemed quite happy that some pony appreciated the beautiful night she brought forth. Luna cleared her throat. "So, sister," She ventured. "You seem to believe that I want the sun to explode." "To destroy Equestria." Celestia comfirmed. "Why would-" Luna started, but then shook her head. "Right. Because you and Twilight seem to think that the sun is the biggest star in the universe." "Well it is, isn't it?" Celestia deadpanned. "Nope." Celestia stomped her hoof angrily. "And how do you know?" "Uh, because I'm the Princess of Stars?" Luna looked at her doubtfully. 'She's not very bright, is she?' "Oh." "Well actually, there are several other stars who are much bigger than the sun. And by bigger, I mean like twenty thousand times larger." Twilight frowned. "But my research-" Luna cut her off with a held up hoof. "These stars are farther apart from the Sun. The universe is massive, Twilight. Even I - bringer of night - don't have full control of all the stars alive." Twilight nodded, a little doubtful. "So," She frowned. "What is the biggest star?" "VY Canis Majoris," Luna replied automatically. "This massive red fat thing that's so big and heavy I can't move it." Celestia, who had been listening to all of this, suddenly spoke up. "But the sun will explode anyway." "Yes. I'm just saying that if I ever had wanted to blow up Equestria, I would have used a different star." "But it will die." "Yes," Luna looked at her sister with a raised eyebrow. "Every star dies, no matter how big they are and how long they take." Celestia hesitated. "Will the moon die?" Twilight pricked her ears, sensing a chance to impress the white Alicorn. "Nope. It could crash or collide with another planet in the future -" "It won't," Luna interjected. "As long as I'm controlling it." "Okay, it won't die at all. But if it did crash," She looked at Luna uncertainly. "It won't disappear entirely as particles of the moon should float around in space...if it's lucky, right?" Luna nodded and Twilight smiled. "But the sun will die," Celestia pronounced the words slowly. "And the moon won't." Luna and Twilight nodded in unison. "...I hate you so much right now." Author's Note I hate science and I had to do a bit of research for this chapter. So now all of you scientists can relax and stop sprouting facts about the sun. xP Man, I had so much fun writing this. If you find any errors - Scientific or grammatical - please tell me, because I hate editing. I hate everything don't I NOTE: Woah, woah, guys. After spending a few minutes reading through these comments, I've found a lot of scientific stuff. I'm the crappiest scientist ever and I know that you guys are just having fun (although I don't really get how you have fun by making scientific points, since whenever I do that, my points don't even make sense xDD) but this is an AU and a fiction story, so...relax, 'k?
"The Sun's Going To Explode!"Twilight Sparkle liked to be neat. Her room was neat. She also blew up when somepony ruined the neatness. Twilight liked to think that she had OCD. Spike liked to tell her that it was anger problems. Twilight Sparkle also liked to think that she was clever and carried out her research with the utmost neatness and carefulness possible. Everypony knew the fact was true. That said, the Alicorn used her magic for 82.67% of the research she conducted, and everypony knew magic was Twilight's strength. Twilight Sparkle loved research. She couldn't go a day without doing some research, or she'd go mental. That particular day, the newly crowned Princess was researching stars. Specifically, she was seeing what the biggest star in the universe was, and when it would blow up. It worried Twilight that if she did find a star bigger than normal, it'd turn Equestria to dust. Stars, they were mean. "Twilight, I still think you've gone wrong here," Spike grumbled, holding the 50m parchment in his hands. "Like, how the heck can a star be 864938 miles in diameter?" "Anything is possible, Spike," Twilight mumbled, carefully inspecting the sheet of paper. "Hmm, the locations of where this humongous star is are vague, but it looks as if it's close to the sun." Spike raised an eyebrow. "So does that mean that if this weirdo star explodes, the sun will, you know, die?" "It appears so." "Woah." Silence filled the basement as Twilight squinted at the papers. She squinted closer. Was that...? No, it was impossible...but anything was impossible...she had to alert the Princess at once! The Alicorn got to her hooves, urgency in her eyes. "Spike, take a letter to Princess Celestia! The sun's going to explode!" * * * "Haha, your moon isn't on this game, but my sun is!" "Sister, I think you're missing the point. Besides, the Minecraft studio said they're gonna add the moon to the next update," Luna pushed her controller to the right, narrowly missing a skeleton's arrow. "Argh! Why did you destroy our house?" "Because it was small," Celestia pointed out. "And made out of stone." Luna rolled her eyes and groaned. "Sometimes, sister, I wish I could slap-" A parchment appeared out of nowhere and accidently smacked Celestia in the muzzle. "-you in the face." Luna put a hoof over her muzzle, making a poor effort to restrain the fit of giggles threatening to spill out. Celestia sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her sister. "Well, I'd better see what Twilight wants me to know about." "Wait!" Luna immediately removed her hoof from her mouth and looked pleadingly at the white Alicorn heading towards the door. "Don't leave me!" Seeing that Celestia had no intention of staying of staying behind, she gritted her teeth and frowned at her Minecraft game. "Now I know why Cadence told me that I should give up on teaching Tia how to play Minecraft." * * * Princess Celestia pulled the hood of her clothes closer around her head and fidgeted with the hair bobble that was holding an enormous amount of ethereal mane. She had tried putting her mane in a ponytail, but what the heck, Celestia's mane didn't become anymore manageable, so she had put it in a bun. She was not pleased. "I look like a freaking granny," Celestia muttered as she walked through the streets of Ponyville. "Who's one thousand years old." The Princess didn't know any full transformation spells - only Changelings could master that art - else, she would have simply turned into some dentist of something. So Celestia could only borrow one of Luna's hoodies to hide her mane and transform her legs to an incredibly short height. They were very uncomfortable. And fat. Definitely fat. "Ooh!" A pink blur whizzed past Celestia and circled her at a crazy speed. Pinkie Pie. Just looking at the pony made Celestia feel dizzy and sick. She didn't have time for ponies who were high on caffeine. Neither did she have time for crazy pink lunatics that liked to party. Celestia had received an enormous amount of letters from ponies complaining that they couldn't sleep due to 'highly distracting noises from the crazy cupcake place.' Although she put on her 'nice' face in front of Pinkie, she was fuming inside. Did she know how much trouble Celestia had received from her? Did she? ’Nope,’ Celestia decided. ’Probably not.’ Celestia carried on walking, a grumpy expression on her face. God, Pinkie was annoying. How was Twilight her friend? Thank the lord that the other Elements weren't as unbearable as her. When would she go away? Celestia frowned and plodded on through the streets, receiving a few strange looks from other ponies. Heck. She couldn't blame them. * * * Twilight Sparkle trotted anxiously around the ground floor of her library. "Where is she, Spike? I told her to come at ten thirty AM, and," she looked up at the ticking clock. "It's three minutes past eleven!" Spike sighed and set down the books he was carrying on the window sill. "Twi, take a chill pill." "Take a chill pill?!" The Alicorn glared at Spike. "The Princess has never been late in the three thousand years she's lived!" "I'm sure she's just-" Spike's voice trailed off as he looked out of the window. "Hey, Twi, you may wanna see this." "What can be so important that it-" Twilight's voice trailed off as she looked out of the window. "Oh. Oh." * * * Princess Celestia fumed as she took off her hoodie. "I hate Ponyville. I hate Pinkie Pie. I hate pink. I hate pie," Then she stopped. "No. I still love pie. Just not pink pie." Twilight sighed. She had seen her mentor in this state before and she hadn't liked it. "Would you like some tea, Princess?" "Tea?" Celestia's eyes lit up. "Of course!" Then she stopped again. "Wait. It's not pink, is it?" Twilight groaned into her hoof. This was going to be a long day. * * * "So, Twilight," Celestia smiled a little too widely at the uncomfortable purple Alicorn opposite her. "What was so important that you needed me to be in Ponyville?" She was still a little traumatised about the experience she had had with that pink...tyrant thing. No, cross that out. She was very traumatised. And embarassed. If it was possible for Twilight's face to fall any further, it did. "Of course, Princess. But...you might not like...um...you know..." "Twilight, you're a Princess as well. You can call me Celestia. And no, I don't know." "...you might not like the results of my research..." "Is it about pink ponies?" Celestia's eyes glittered. "Nope," Twilight said quickly. "Nope, nope, nope! It's about the sun." Celestia gasped. Would she...? Under all the tuition she had given her? Heck, she had trusted Twilight. She would have trusted her with her freaking life. The Alicorn shook her head sadly. "You want to take over the sun, don't you?" Twilight gasped in unison with Celestia. “What?! Of course not!” She shook her head and stood up, swishing her tale restlessly from side to side. “I think you should come down to the basement.” * * * “I must say, Twilight,” Celestia smiled, looking around. “That your basement is very tidy, compared to others I have seen.” Twilight smiled proudly, blushing profusely and mumbling something inaudible. She then shook her head again sadly, as if she were seeing the other Alicorn for the last time. “B-before I show you my research papers, I have to ask you, Pri- Celestia…” She looked up hesitantly. “Uh…is your life force connected to the life of the sun?” Celestia looked at Twilight, bewildered. “Wherever did you get that thought from?” “Because,” Twilight frowned. “The day you were born was when the sun appeared.” “Oh.” ’I should really check that. It’s quite a worrying thought.’ “It’s also the rumour currently being spread around Ponyville,” Twilight added. “Rarity told me the spa ponies won’t shut up about it. But, Pri - I mean - Celestia, is that a yes or a no?” “Um…” ’God, Twilight’s smarter than me.’ “…no…” “Oh!” Twilight’s face creased into a happy and relieved smile. “It won’t be that bad, then!” This was really starting to worry Celestia. Author's Note This hasn't gone through editing yet, so please excuse me. :3 I wrote this up because I felt guilty for deleting my old stories and having followers who didn't have anything to look at... I'm also out of practise at writing fiction at the moment, so again, excuse me. XD This is a silly little fic which I expect no favourites or likes from. But...if you do like this, an upvote and a fave would be nice. Pretty please? Also, I'm aiming to make this a three-shot with small chapters and rather out-of-detail paragraphs. :3 The characters will be OOC plainly for the humour. Thanks, guys!
"Don't Worry, We All Know She's Mental"Luna was happy. Here she was, eating a McDonald veggie burger, sucking at a chocolate milkshake and beating up creepers and zombies on Minecraft. Yep. She was totally happy. All that happiness was destroyed as the door to her chambers burst open. A white guard - her sisters, to be precise, trotted up to her and bowed. Luna looked at him in distaste. She didn't know why Celestia chose those awful designs for her army uniform. Those helmets looked like they had just been struck by lightning, for god's sake. "What?" Luna snapped at the guard. Those ponies annoyed her. All other ponies were fine. Just not those white and blue lightning rods. Why the heck were they even in her chambers? "Make it snappy." The guard didn't even flinch. "Her highness, Princess Celestia, isn't in her chambers! We've looked all over Canterlot, and we couldn't find her!" Luna rolled her eyes. "She went for a walk - duh." "A walk so long that she ended up out of Canterlot?" "Shut up." Luna shifted uncomfortably at how wrong-hooved she must have looked. "With pleasure, your highness." Luna thought for a moment. It surprised her that Celestia had gone somewhere without her precious, stupid lightning rods. "Yeah. She must have gone for a long walk. I don't think Celestia would have disappeared without a trace. I mean, there's a small possibility that Discord could have accidentally on purpose forgotten to perish those big thorns, but then they would have come after me as well." The guard looked at her anxiously, taking off his helmet and putting it back on again. "Are you sure?" "Quite." "Beg your pardon, your highness, but why would the ruler of Equestria go for a walk all the way out of Canterlot without at least one of her guards?" Luna smiled. "Don't worry, we all knew she was mental, didn't we?" * * * "...and that basically results in the fact that due to the sun being a star, it will someday explode." Twilight looked up from her research paper, brows creased behind her glasses in concentration. "Don't worry, it won't explode until ages - a few thousand millenniums, I should think." Celestia was silent for a moment. "But it will explode." She said slowly. "Yep. But not until a few thousand millenniums." Celestia looked at her former student, her mind racing. Her sun was said to live forever. Somepony must have altered her sun. Somepony with power...and somepony who could control stars. "...Twilight, did you know that a millennium is, like, ten years for us immortal bodies?" "No...?" Twilight's face suddenly sobered. "Oh. Oh." Celestia stood up on her hooves. "Do you think you could give me a moment or two outside?" Twilight smiled in a somewhat understanding way. "Of course, Princess. You know the way out." She watched the other Alicorn head for the exit. "Oh, and Twilight?" Celestia turned around to address the purple pony. "You might want to get some earplugs." * * * Minuette was a normal unicorn, who lived a quiet life on the outskirts of Ponyville. She walked to the dentists everyday at six thirty in the morning every day to earn some bits, and had a colt friend in Manehattan. Her life was pretty good. The spearmint unicorn levitated a poster up to the wall and fixed it in place. Minuette's shift had ended and Minty had taken over. Her boss had said she could help out by fixing some of the posters to make the place look even immaculate as it already was. Just then, a high pitched scream crashed into her office, cracking a window slightly. Minuette flinched and staggered backwards. Was that...? That was Princess Celestia's voice, wasn't it? And was it her imagination, or had she heard the words 'Luna, I am going to murder you?' Minuette shrugged and returned to her job. Everything was back to normal. Apart from the fact that somepony would have to come to fix the broken window. But that was it. Everypony knew Celestia was mental anyway. * * * Twilight gingerly took out the three balls of cotton that had been stuffed in each of her ears as Celestia came back down to the basement. "W-would you like some tea, Princess?" "Celestia," She replied automatically. "And no thanks. I have a job to do." Celestia extended her wings and looked at Twilight pointedly, hoping she'd guess what her former mentor was going to do. But she had hoped wrong. Twilight just sat there with a bemused expression on her face, her purple wings unfolded slightly as well. Celestia would have slapped herself in teh face if not for her golden shoes. The perks of being a Princess. It was a shame Twilight never wore the pair of shoes Cadence had made for her. How ungrateful. She didn't even wear her crown! No wonder taxis didn't stop for Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparklewhen she wanted one. Whatever. "Twilight," Celestia began. "I need to fly to Canterlot. My guards are at the castle and I want to pulv-" "You can't fly to Canterlot." Twilight cut in. "If you forgive me for interrupting you, Pri- I mean, Celestia." 'No,' She thought, annoyed. 'I don't forgive you.' "Why ever not, my dear Twilight?" "Because," Twilight explained. "What do you think would happen if all the ponies in Equestria saw a white Alicorn - namely, you - flying through the sky? Wouldn't the pegasi mob you as well? And you'd be surrounded by paparazzi!" She shuddered. "Oh," Celestia was thrown. 'Yep. Twilight is a lot smarter than me.' "I'll go by train then." Twilight sighed, the only thing keeping her from face - hoofing was the fact she was talking to the oldest Alicorn in Equestria. "Princess, Celestia, whoever, the problem will only escalate from there. Isn't it worse getting mobbed by all three pony species?" She smiled patiently. "Unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies will be on every single train we pass." "...I knew that." "Oh course you did!" Twilight declared happily. "You're the wisest and cleverest pony in Equestria!" 'Well, at least one pony believes that.' "Ehem..." Celestia cleared her throat. "So what do you propose I do now?" Twilight grinned. "Disguise!" * * * Celestia coughed into her hoof. "I still don't understand why you don't need to wear a disguise." "Because," Twilight said patiently. "I'm a regular passenger on this train. You, on the other hoof, are not." "Why the heck did you have to put this disguise on me?" "Because it looks realistic." Celestia had a pink coat and mane. Her hair was poofy and three balloons adorned her flank. Her blue eyes were half lidded and flashed in annoyance. Overall, she looked exactly like a Pinkie clone from the Mirror Pool. Except she didn't want to have fun. That was the only difference. "I told you especially not to make me that pony. Why did it have to be her?" Celestia huffed grumpily. "Couldn't I have been a regular dentist or something?" "She had the simplest mane. You just sleep in bed for a few hours and you look exactly like Pinkie Pie. The others were too hard to get. Also, to answer your question," Twilight continued. "I normally board these trains with one of my friends. You know, friends I hang out with regularly." A couple passed by and looked at Celestia with a strange look on their face. They carried on walking, but kept on throwing worried glances at her. She glared at them. "What're they looking at?" Twilight sighed. "You have to look happy. And you need to bounce." Celestia turned her glare on Twilight, who just grinned. "C'mon, this'll be fun!" Author's Note Still in need of editing. I'm not too happy with the end of this chapter. :/
"...I hate you so much right now"Celestia groaned and yawned, twisting about on the seats. Twilight looked perfectly comfortable, her back resting against the soft padding of the couch. Thanks to the latter pony's newly gained wings, the two had got a five star carriage on the train. The luxury, however, did not appear to stretch so far that the vehicle's speed was boosted. "I hate Ponyville even more right now," Celestia scowled, pushing her new bushy mane out of the way. "Do they not have any respect for us Princesses?" "It's better than Manehattan," Twilight replied, her lips tightening. "At least in Ponyville they let us on the train." Celestia frowned at Twilight. "They didn't let you on a train in Manehattan?" Twilight shook her head. "A taxi." She said shortly, before relapsing into silence. "Oh," Celestia said. "I didn't know they were so rude. Especially to Princesses." "You sound like you've never actually been there before." Twilight laughed without any humour. Celestia stared at Twilight like she was crazy. "...I haven't." Twilight stared back. "But you're the ruler of Equestria! I thought you'd have been all over the world!" She thought for a moment. "Why didn't you ever go?" She asked. Celestia shook her head. "'Couldn't be bothered. I hate traveling by vehicle, did you know? I much rather prefer teleporting or flying. Even walking is better than getting on these things." She was beginning to wish she hadn't replied to Twilight's claim about Manehattan. The other Alicorn was staring at her in shock. It was annoying. And freaky. She couldn't get back to sleep and dream about cakes, now, because of Twilight. * * * Twilight groaned as some pony shook her shoulders. She lazily unfolded her wings and flapped them wildly to get whoever was trying to get her attention away. Her tactic seemed to work. Twilight heard a surprised "Ow!" and a thump which suggested the pony had fallen over. She winced as her tail pulled. He - or she - had accidentally snagged it whilst they fell. She opened her eyes grumpily and saw a pink pony holding her nose with a pale hoof on the floor. "Pinkie?" Twilight clenched her teeth together. "Why on earth did you do that? And how did you get into my house?" She pulled herself up and feebly touched her now sprained rear legs. "You don't know, as usual," She said grumpily. "Only Celestia knows." "Yeah, she knows." A pained voice - certainly not Pinkie's - said from somewhere below the Alicorn. "The train, uh, stopped and I tried to wake you up but you freaking slapped me in the nose." Pinkie (?) cringed as she gingerly removed her hoof from the nose. No massive damage was done and there wasn't a sign of any bleeding. Twilight groggily opened her eyes and gasped as her memories flooded back to her. Her lavender cheeks were flushed a deep red. Oh great - she had just slapped a senior Alicorn on the nose. Twilight nearly slapped herself on the nose as well. Her life sucked. "Uhh, Princess? Are you okay?" Then she remembered something. "Oh, I mean - Celestia, are you okay?" "Pretty much," Celestia said grumpily as she stood up and brushed herself off. "Why the heck did you do that?" "We should get off before we land the train-driver into trouble," Twilight substituted evasively. "Plus, we need to get off quickly to -" Her voice trailed off. It had never occurred to her before. "Uh, Prin- Celestia? Can I ask you something?" Celestia had her hoof on the door. She was excited for what was going to happen next. She got to send Luna to the moon again - who wouldn't get excited by that? But she was really annoyed at Twilight for slapping her in the face. It hurt. "What? Make it quick!" "Why are we even going to Canterlot?" * * * Luna happily nommed on her sister's birthday cake. She now knew why Celestia loved cake so much. Seriously; she was going to ask her Mum for the exact same cake for her own birthday. Except it needed to be blue. The cake didn't look right when it was pink. She was rudely interrupted in her cake-ish fantasy by those annoying white and blue lightning rods. For like the one hundredth time that day. "Again?" Luna asked, annoyed. "You've come in here, like, a million times!" The guard looked at her strangely. "I beg your pardon, Your Highness -" "I don't accept your pardon," Luna cut in. "- but this is the second time today I came in." "Enough!" Luna snapped, glaring at the guards. She didn't like smart ponies. "Why're you here?" "Two ponies want to see you," The guard said, not responding to her hostile tone. "Princess Twilight Sparkle and some idi- hyperactive pink mare," He bowed his head. "Should I allow them to come in?" Luna nodded. The guard left the room and two ponies automatically burst in. Well, one of them did. The other one looked like she didn't want to be there. That one was Twilight. Luna thought her gaze would light up when she saw her fellow Princess, but it only fell even further. "Hello, Princess," Twilight greeted her sadly, looking at Luna as if she were seeing her for the last time. The pink pony stared at Luna with her mouth agape. "That - what - that's my cake!" A cold feeling crept around Luna's heart. That voice was ever so familiar... The pony glared at Luna and turned to Twilight. "Can you take off my disguise? I miss my horn!" Twilight nodded and sighed, magenta sparks channeling visibly through her horn. There was a bright flash and Luna winced as the light cleared to show Princess Celestia standing in the place of the pink pony. She looked furious. Livid. Scary. Luna hastily shoved the cake behind her. "Oh," Celestia said ominously. "You did not just eat my birthday cake." "I do not know what you are talking about." Luna flinched away from her sister, eyes avoiding the purple ones opposite her. "You imbec-" Twilight cleared her throat and put a leg on Celestia's back. "Uh, Princess? Back on subject?" Celestia looked at the purple Alicorn and an understanding seemed to pass through them. Reluctantly, the Alicorn backed away. Luna threw a grateful nod at Twilight, who gave a strained smile back. "I do not stop because I'm more worried about this subject I'm going to start." Celestia said hurriedly, seeing her sister raise an eyebrow. "Indeed." "I'm doing this because of Twilight." "You are?" Twilight's brow creased, but she shut up when Celestia looked at her. "Yeah. She wishes to spare you - for the moment - because...hmm...uh...she has feelings...for you?" Celestia supplied hopefully. Twilight failed to pick up the unconvincing tone in her former mentor's voice. "What?!" She exploded. "I don't have any freaking feelings for he- mpph!" Celestia stuffed a hoof in Twilight's mouth, still with the shoes on and everything. Luna rolled her eyes at her sister's play. Did she really think that her, Princess of Night, bringer of nightmares and dreams, could be so gullible. "So what did you want to talk about?" "That," Celestia said coldly. "Is what I wanted to talk about." * * * After waiting ten minutes for Twilight to wash her mouth and Celestia to wash her hoof, the three Princesses finally in the astronomy room. Twilight left the others and started murmuring to herself as she ran her hoof over all the expensive equipment Luna used whilst stargazing. Celestia watched her under a disapproving gaze, whilst Luna seemed quite happy that some pony appreciated the beautiful night she brought forth. Luna cleared her throat. "So, sister," She ventured. "You seem to believe that I want the sun to explode." "To destroy Equestria." Celestia comfirmed. "Why would-" Luna started, but then shook her head. "Right. Because you and Twilight seem to think that the sun is the biggest star in the universe." "Well it is, isn't it?" Celestia deadpanned. "Nope." Celestia stomped her hoof angrily. "And how do you know?" "Uh, because I'm the Princess of Stars?" Luna looked at her doubtfully. 'She's not very bright, is she?' "Oh." "Well actually, there are several other stars who are much bigger than the sun. And by bigger, I mean like twenty thousand times larger." Twilight frowned. "But my research-" Luna cut her off with a held up hoof. "These stars are farther apart from the Sun. The universe is massive, Twilight. Even I - bringer of night - don't have full control of all the stars alive." Twilight nodded, a little doubtful. "So," She frowned. "What is the biggest star?" "VY Canis Majoris," Luna replied automatically. "This massive red fat thing that's so big and heavy I can't move it." Celestia, who had been listening to all of this, suddenly spoke up. "But the sun will explode anyway." "Yes. I'm just saying that if I ever had wanted to blow up Equestria, I would have used a different star." "But it will die." "Yes," Luna looked at her sister with a raised eyebrow. "Every star dies, no matter how big they are and how long they take." Celestia hesitated. "Will the moon die?" Twilight pricked her ears, sensing a chance to impress the white Alicorn. "Nope. It could crash or collide with another planet in the future -" "It won't," Luna interjected. "As long as I'm controlling it." "Okay, it won't die at all. But if it did crash," She looked at Luna uncertainly. "It won't disappear entirely as particles of the moon should float around in space...if it's lucky, right?" Luna nodded and Twilight smiled. "But the sun will die," Celestia pronounced the words slowly. "And the moon won't." Luna and Twilight nodded in unison. "...I hate you so much right now." Author's Note I hate science and I had to do a bit of research for this chapter. So now all of you scientists can relax and stop sprouting facts about the sun. xP Man, I had so much fun writing this. If you find any errors - Scientific or grammatical - please tell me, because I hate editing. I hate everything don't I NOTE: Woah, woah, guys. After spending a few minutes reading through these comments, I've found a lot of scientific stuff. I'm the crappiest scientist ever and I know that you guys are just having fun (although I don't really get how you have fun by making scientific points, since whenever I do that, my points don't even make sense xDD) but this is an AU and a fiction story, so...relax, 'k?
