Another Gamers in Equestria Storyby DovahbronyChaptersPonies, The Elf, and The SniperMagic.....Is Really EasyShaddup I'm FabulousTwitchy Eye Means Somepony Might DieRoyal ButtmunchPonies, The Elf, and The Sniper"FUS RO DAH!" shouted the Dovahkiin in my game as I hacked and slashed through any Imperial unlucky enough to get in my way. Oh I should introduce myself I'm Gage Doyle also known as Dovahbrony, Dadera247, and coolone36. I'm 13 years old, but I am six feet tall, I have curly brown hair, and brown eyes. "Guys that guy just went flying!" I said to my friends on my phone. "Well you did use Unrelenting Force." said Jacob S. "It does that." "I don't care because it didn't launch him it sent him straight up! He's on top of the castle now!" I said looking up at the stranded Imperial. "I'm gonna get him." I said. After a lot of glitching I found myself next to the Imperial. "AWWW COME THE F**K ON!" yelled my friend Kyle or as I like to call him Rage Face. "He probably got his health pack stolen by a teammate who was at full health." said my cousin Max who was playing GTA V. "That's exactly what happened!" exclaimed Kyle who was playing TF2. "Pills here!" said Jacob S. who was playing Left 4 Dead 2. "Man this Magnum kills everything!" I just rolled my eyes, and adjusted my glasses on my nose "Let's throw down.....Awww he's dead already!" I said looking down at the dead Imperial whom I didn't get to finish off "What killed him though?" I pondered there wasn't an arrow in him and I didn't hear a fireball. "Is there an arrow in his knee?" asked Jacob. "Nope." I answered. "Well I'm out of ideaaassss ahhhhhhhhh TANK!" he yelled into the phone. "TAKE AN ARROW TO THE FACE!" yelled Kyle apparently getting a headshot with The Huntsman the bow you get in TF2 as The Sniper. He then proceeded to rage "YOUVE GOTTA BE F***KING KIDDING ME HE WAS DEAD!" he raged. In case you haven't noticed he gets mad very very easy. "Let me guess you hit him right between the eyes, but he still managed to kill you even though he should've died?" said Max. "That's exactly what happened. Man your good at this." said Kyle. "I do my best." said Max probably bowing in his bedroom to praise himself. I rolled my eyes and searched the Imperial I found some arrows, a bit of gold, and a book. Usually I would leave it, but it was named 'Please Don't Read!' so I took it. "Guys I found a purple book. It's called Please Don't read. Should I read it?" I asked my buddies. "Oh definitely. It probably will give you a new quest or something." said Kyle who really cheered up now. "Or it might be some hidden content." "Ohhhhh cool a RPG!" said Max "Now I'm gonna blow some sh*t up!" "I would of thought nothing less of you Max." I said as I clicked on the book it read I told you not to read! "But it was so tempting!" I said out loud. "What was?" asked Jacob who I assume finally killed the Tank. "The book said 'I told you not to read' but it was so tempting." I answered. As soon as I said it my screen froze "Awwwww come on!" "What is it?" asked Kyle. "My screen froze!" I said "I'm very mad as you can tell." I said angrily. I shook my fist at my T.V screen with a scowl on my face. "Well we have been playing for what seven hours now?" said Kyle. "Well my screen froze to so good night." he said ending the call. "Me to I'm gonna hit the hay." said Jacob. Max did the same, and as did I. I put my glasses on a box next to my bed, and crawled under the covers and closed my eyes. "Get up yah trespasser!" Applejack yelled into my ear. "Owwww my ear holes!" I said covering my ears only to find something covering my head. I touched my face, and saw my hand was covered by an Elven gauntlet. "Is there a funky looking mask on my face?" I asked much to the surprise of the mare. "Yeah but ah dun know why that's important trespasser." she said. I looked down and saw I was indeed clad in all elven armor (besides Vokun my mask) and Dawnbreaker hung on my hip it's miniature sun blazing. I looked back to Applejack and noticed she was anthropomorphic and dressed in stereotypical country girl clothing. I checked my left arm, and my shield was gone (darn). "Have you seen my shield?" I asked looking around the orchard I was in. "What? No, and why are you here?" she said again. "Well I fell asleep in my bed after seven hours of continuous gameplay, and now I find myself in Equestria.....I have no idea why I'm here but I already like this place!" I said my inner fan boy was screaming with excitement. I looked besides me and found my glasses, and so I removed my mask and put them on. "What in tarnation." Applejack said looking at my ears "why are your ears doin there for?" she said. I reached to my ears, and found them in there usual spot not on top of my head thank good ness, but I found they had a point on the end. "Cool I'm a wood elf!" I said "Though I wish I was a Kajjitt." Applejack cleared her throat to get my attention. "What in blazes is a wood elf?" she asked. "It's and elf" I said "that lives in trees not a very hard concept." "Well now that that's out of tha way can you and yer blue shirted friend get of mah property?" she said. I was confused for a moment until I saw a rather lanky kid sitting by a tree a bow, and arrow with him. He had on a Stetson and a blue shirt, under a black vest. His glasses were also present. "KYLE!" I said he raised his hand and grinned. "Miss me?" he said. Magic.....Is Really EasySo your probably wondering 'How did you guys end up in Equestria?' and 'What is going on?' well I'll explain. Well I would but I don't know so just wait, and see maybe I'll find out. Threshold of Sweet Apple Acres "Well.....she kicked us out....literally." I said rubbing my back were Applejack had kicked me, and I'll tell you it hurt....a lot. "I'm gonna shoot that bi**h." muttered Kyle picking up his bow and knocking an arrow only for me to grab his arm. "Is it really worth the royal guard hunting us down? Is it?" I said. "Why would the royal guard chase us she's a farm girl not a princess." he said annoyed. "She's a national hero Applejack the Element of Honesty to be correct." I answered him grinning to the fact that it was standing outside Sweet Apple Acres! It's enough to make a grown man cry, but I'm not a grown man so I didn't cry I squealed with happiness. "She FU**ING KICKED US!" yelled Kyle (hello rage face) stomping his foot. "AND YOUR LETTING HER LEAVE?" he said. "Eeyup." I said mimicing Big Mac whom I saw go into the barn. "Wanna have a look around town?" I asked pointing behind me to a path that lead into Ponyville. "Oh and for future reference it's farm 'mare' she's a mare." "I don't care about your little girls show, or the terminology of horses." he said raising his hands. "They are ponies." I said "but that doesn't matter let's go." I said turning on my heel on the dirt path, and walked to the small town in the distance. Ponyville Kyle and I walked into the small town, and immediately got tackled by a pink woman with pink clothing, and pink curly hair, and well pink everything. "Hia I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm here to welcome you to PONYVILLE!" she said excitedly confetti popping into the air behind her. "Hia Pinkie!" I said smiling like a mad man under my mask while Kyle tried to get out from under the pink anthro pony. Finally he asked "Can you please get off me? Your crushing my lung." there was an audible pop, and he slumped over wheezing. His lungs actually popped! Wait HIS LUNGS POPPED! I pushed Pinkie off me with a slight push and she went flying.....well that's new, and loomed over my buddy. He looked terrible his face was purple, and his chest was caved in man Pinkie needed to lay off the sweets. "I heard that!" said Pinkie shaking her fist at me, and for the first time in my life I flipped someone off. "It's gonna be okay bud I'll get you out of this.....I hope." I said gulping as I held out my hands if I was my character I should be able to do magic right? Well my hands didn't light up so I couldn't it seemed. "Crap man how do I use my magic?" I said. Dawnbreaker was getting in the way, and I didn't know how to remove the sheathe so I drew it, and my left palm lit up. "Of course!" I said of course it's just like the game my weapon needs to be drawn before I can cast magic! I held out my hands, and cast the spell it didn't work. I was gonna start yelling at my hands when I remembered I only knew the default self healing spell. Kyle held out his hand still trying to breathe, and failing. I took it with my magic hand, and I got quite the supprise. My spell activated and swirled around Kyle after a minute his chest was healed, and he could breathe again. "Did I hurt him?" asked Pinkie staring dumbfounded. "Yes *cough* you fu**ing did." said Kyle, and strangely he wasn't screaming death threats huh go figure. "I'm sorry I really am....I'll just be going..." said Pinkie her hair deflating as she turned to leave. I got the feels. "Pinkie you don't have to go." I said "he's okay and he doesn't blame you do you Kyle?" I said glaring at him through my mask. "Ummmm yeah I don't blame you it was an accident...." he said, and I remembered I was still glaring so I stopped and he let out a breath. Man was I that intimidating? Back on earth I couldn't scare anyone, but I guess the mask helps. I mean I was a BIG kid at 6 feet tall at the age of 13 was pretty big, but then I was a nerd that didn't like conflict. Pinkies hair inflates and she smiled "Okie dokie lokie!" she said bouncing away. I rolled my eyes not ten minutes into Ponyville and one of us nearly died. "Well *coughs clearing his throat* were do we go now?" asked Kyle. I was going to say Twilight, but I heard yelling, and being the curious fu** I am I went to the sight of the yelling. Town Square A rather large kid with a chrome plated deagle was backed up against the town hall with a shorter thinner blonde kid in a suit and top hat. The blond kid was also wearing glasses, and I recognized them instantly "JACOB, MAX!" I yelled waving.....I am so stupid sometimes the crowd of ponies turned to me, and advanced yelling "I need to shut my mouth sometimes." I said slouching my shoulders. A loud bang was heard, and I looked up to see Jacob holding out his magnum pistol it's barrel smoking, and a bullet hole in front of the crowd of ponies. They screamed and ran away. "So were are we?" asked Jacob "and don't say Ponyville Max." "It's Ponyville." I said and Jacob threw his hands up in defeat. I chuckled and walked over to my friends Kyle in toe. Shaddup I'm Fabulous"HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU ANGER THEM SO QUICKLY!" I yelled at Jacob. "They called me a deformed freak so I shot at them.....bad idea now that I think about it....." said Jacob scratching his chin with his magnum. I was about to rage and that's Kyles thing so I turned to Max who was chatting away with a brown earth pony stallion with a hourglass cutiemark I knew his name but it eluded me for the moment. After what felt like hours Max returned all giddy with happiness. "What's got you so riled up?" I asked. "Just talked to Doctor Whooves! So happy." said Max practically squealing, but I noticed he switched hats. "When did you switch hats?" I asked for the reason that he was now wearing a fedora. He looked up and saw what I was talking about. "I didn't......that's......odd...to say the least...." said Max scratching his head with his combat pistol I reached for his arm, but it was to late his trigger slipped and I heard the pop of his silenced pistol as his brains were blown out of his head! "MAX!" I yelled as I caught his body before it hit the ground. Tears were rushing down my face under Vokun as I looked down at my cousins lifeless body. "No no no no no no no!" I said cradling his dead body still crying feeling broken, and helpless until. "Hey!" called Max from the end of the street waving his hand. At first I was confuzzled until I looked down and saw his body was gone! He just re spawned just like the game....I should've seen that coming a mile away. "What the fu*k happened?" he asked when he finally arrived to his place of death. "YOU SHOT YOURSELF IN THE FU**ING FACE!" I yelled I don't like to swear, but I felt it was needed at the moment. Max took a step back and slipped on the blood puddle made by his corpse I couldn't help, but laugh at the sight. "Yeah yeah laugh it up." said Max "But I just found out I'm immortal! So HAH!" he said jabbing me with his finger on the 'HAH'. "Shaddup I'm FABULOUS!" said Kyle raising his voice in pitch on the fabulous part. I looked over and saw a pale white unicorn in a white tank top and some purple pants, her mane was purple and three diamonds were on her shoulder. "No your not that outfit is absolutely dreadful." said the mare whom I recognized as Rairity (a.k.a worst pony besides Blueblood). I'm not going to go into detail about why I hate her because it would take a chapter to do so. "Well I like it okay Prissy Prim!" Kyle exclaimed turning around from the flabbergasted Rairity towards us. I was ready to bust out in a fit of genuine laughter, but no matter how much I disliked Rairity I was taught to never disrespect a lady. "I'm sorry miss but my friend is a bit of a jerk sometimes, but you did insult his outfit so it wasn't entirely unjustified, but non the less I apologize on his behalf." I said. "Why thank you mister....." "Gage." I said holding out my hand (why am I so calm I usually break under these circumstances) "But you may call me Dovahbrony." I said. "Well than thank you Dovahbrony." said Rairity shaking my hand (I don't seem to hate her as much now....what is happening to me!). As soon as the handshake ended we parted ways I let out my breath, and sat down on a bench next to my buds. Then I Burt's out laughing with happiness I WAS IN EQUESTRIA AND I WASNT DREAMING! "Guys I cannot begin to say how happy I am to be here!" I said to my group of friends. "Well I don't care to be here, but it is quite relaxing now that I think about it." said Jacob stretching and then leaning back in the bench. I turned to Max and yet again he changed hats this time it was a black ski cap. "The air is so much *breathes in* cleaner than back home." said Kyle, and I couldn't help but agree no chemicals filled this world, and it was so clean. "What do you mean back home? All of Equestria is like this." said a cyan pegasus on a nearby stand roof. Her eyes were a violetish and her mane rainbow. She wore a sports jersey, shorts and sandals. It was Rainbow Dash. "Hi there!" I said. "Hi back at you, but you still haven't answered my question." she said getting a big annoyed (glad to know I can still do that right.) "You wouldn't believe us if we told you." said Jacob his eyes still closed. "And why is that?" asked the mare now leaning on her elbows on the back of the bench. "Because they're from another world were we are just cartoon ponies in a show for little ity bitty girls, but a large group of male fans called bronies watch the show and make things such as our world." said Pinkie whom popped out of nowhere. "Now that's just ridiculous." said Rainbow Dash rolling her eyes. "It's true though." said Max. "Whaaaaaa....." was all Rainbow could say for the fourth wall had died a little and she slipped in blood and got knocked out cold. "This is going to be one heck of an adventure." I said picking the unconscious mare out of the puddle and l placed her down on another bench. "One heck of an adventure indeed." Twitchy Eye Means Somepony Might DieIt was a few hours later when Rainbow Dash finally woke up, and she was mad! "WHO THE HAY KNOCKED ME OUT!" she yelled getting up in a fighting stance seeing us sitting on the bench adjacent to her. "Hey guys what happened?" she asked walking up to us. "You passed out when we confirmed we were from another dimension." I said as I continued to marvel at Dawnbreaker it's miniature sun roaring with power. "Wait you guys are serious? Next your gonna tell me that we actually are just cartoon characters." she said. "That's also true." I said, and Rainbow looked beyond shocked at that moment in time. "You okay Rainbow?" I asked the dumbstruck mare. She laughed nervously "Really funny guys, but that's not a nice thing to joke about." She looked on the edge of hysteria. "It's all true look" Max did the motions for the Pinkie Promise "I promise my cousin is telling the truth." Rainbow was a bit a taken back but still held firm "Yeah right you all are just a bunch of liers." she points to me "your the worst of em." That was the last straw! One of the few things that instantly set me off is being called a liar, and she just did that! I slammed my arm against her neck my right eye twitching under my mask. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" I yelled into her face. "Calm down dude she was just being a bi**h don't need to kill her over it." said Jacob trying to calm me down to no avail. "I'm sorry just let me go please!" pleaded Rainbow Dash tears apparent in her eyes. For a moment I faltered, then I dropped her backing up looking at my hands in horror. "What did I just do?" I asked silently to no one in particular while RD just stared at me scared witless as she walked slowly away. "I'm so so sorry!" I said backing away myself scared at what I had done. A Few Blocks Away Rainbow Dashes POV I was already far away from that psychopath roughly five six blocks away when I ran into Twilight Sparkle my egghead friend. "Oh my Celestia Twilight you will not believe the looney that attacked me back at the stalls!" I said out of breath. "Wait you were attacked! By who?" said the purple mare. She was wearing a purple button up shirt you'd see in offices, and a black skirt along with dress shoes. "Some new stallion in town. Armed to the teeth a few buddies, a funky mask can't miss him." I said still panting I could still feel the cool metal of the gauntlet pressing against my throat. "Then gather up the girls were heading out!" said Twilight spreading her wings and flying to the market. My POV I'm just going to tell you Twilights magic hurts. We got off on the wrong foot, and I think I offended her or something not sure how. Anyway she blasted me across the town, and that wasn't very nice, and it was wayyyyy out of character. "That wasn't very nice!" I yelled from the hole in the ground my body made on impact. "I said I was sorry." I muttered thinking that maybe RD got Twilight to attack me cause of my outburst (soooo likely now that I think about it). I got up and walked back to the stalls where the Manes Six (minus Fluttershy) was present. "I was expecting charred remains, but it looks like your stronger than you look bub." said RD smugly. "I thought you were a gentlecolt." said Rairity with a slight snobbish air to her (another thing that likes to set me off). "I guess ah thought right yer nothin but trouble." said Applejack. "I'm good with him." said Pinkie (least that one doesn't hate my guts). "Now listen!" I yelled "Why are you guys attacking me? Does it have to do with the outburst at Rainbow?" I asked they nodded "Oi it was an accident...being called a liar to my face sets me off that's all." I kicked a pebble. "Still doesn't justify trying to kill me!" exclaimed Rainbow Das. I responded with "If I was trying to kill you you'd be a stain in the dirt already." I instantly covered the mouth opening on my mask "Why did I say that?" They all just stared speechless at me. Applejack was about to speak until some kind of instrument was played, and I saw a yellow chariot approaching. "Oh this is fan tucking fastic." I said I turned my attention to my subdued friends (they were knocked out when the fighting started by Twilights spell.) When the chariot landed a tall, slender, white alicorn with a flowing mane that resembled the suns colorful rays stepped out a stern look on her face. It was Princess (or as I like to say pony god) Celestia. "It has come to my attention that you have threatens the life of one of Equestrias princesses friends am I correct?" The godly monarch asked. "I didn't threaten anything. Sure I lashed out, but I wasn't gonna kill her." I answered truthfully. "Applejack is he telling the truth?" asked Celestia looking to the Element of Honetsy. "He's not lying." stated the country mare. "Thank you my dear AJ!" I said with a bow. "Your still not off the hook." said Celestia. "Darn it." I said plopping down on a bench awaiting my punishment. Royal ButtmunchHere I was locked up in a jail cell like a common criminal. "Well fu*k you to." I said silently to Celestia whom was walking away from my cell were me, and my friends were located. "Well this sucks balls." said Jacob very annoyed as he un-loaded, and loaded his magnum over and over. If I haven't told you Jacob is dressed up as Coach from L4D2. Also your probably wondering why the f**k haven't they disarmed us? I'll explain. When they tried to take our weapons they kinda stuck to our hands they couldn't remove them so the put up a solid iron door in hopes of keeping us in. "So were armed, and in jail....wanna break out?" asked Max we all nodded and readied our weapons for we had an escape to do. Throne Room Celestia's POV I swirled a cup of orange juice whilst sitting on my throne pondering what to do with the group of creatures that assaulted Rainbow Dash. She was torn on one hoof she felt that the quartet needed to be punished, and on another Rainbow Dash did provoke them so it wasn't entirely unjustified. I sat my cup down my pondering complete. I would let them go on the promise that they never return to Ponyville or Canterlot ever again. It was the perfect choice. I conjured up a ink quill, and parchment to send a letter to the jailers to bring the prisoners to me when I heard a shout. "FUS RO DAH!" My POV Dawnbreaker is like a Lightsaber. It cuts through doors just like in the movies! As soon as my group stepped out we were met by a battalion of guards. "Kyle knees." I ordered. 'Just like Skyrim' I thought looking at the lack of knee armor on the anthro guards. Kyle proceeded to shoot every guard in the hallway in the knee with an arrow. "TAKE THAT BIT**ES!" shouted Kyle at the top of his lungs. "Now" I said "how do we get passed this magic barrier?" I asked looking at the magic wall in the middle of the hall. "Let's see" said Max now wearing a hockey mask as he fired his silenced combat pistol at the field each bullet vaporized. "Well I'm out of ideas." But upon saying that I got one. I breathed in Jacob being a fellow Skyrim fan knew what I was doing and covered his ears, the others followed his example as I shouted "FUS RO DAH!" a rippling blue wave of energy flowed from the mouth opening of my mask slamming into the shield wall. It held for a moment but my shout was to strong the wall shattered, and I gestured for my friends to follow as I drew Dawnbreaker. Throne room I walked into the throne room much to the surprise of the ponies in the very room. "Hello ponies my name is Gage, and I'm escaping from jail see ya!" I said waving as I walked to the front doors my friends behind me (I guess I'm the leader now?) Anyway just as I opened the door Celestia got over her shock, and used her magic to close the huge doors. "Crap." I muttered. "Can we just leave?" asked Kyle on the verge of a rage. "No you can't." said her royal buttmunch "You've just escaped jail, injured a battalion of guards, and earlier assaulted an Element of Harmony." "The last one I couldn't control okay!" I said to Celestia. "Just go back to your cell like the vermin you are." said a white unicorn stallion with a goldish mane. I recognized him as prince blue blood. "Oh I'm sorry I'll go right away your royal buttmunch." I said bowing with a smirk. It took a minute for his tiny, snobbish brain to compute what I'd said. "Why you insufferable little...." he was cut off by the sudden presence of Dawnbreaker against his throat. "You wanna continue that?" I said as my friends impatiently waited at the door, Max was now wearing a green pork pie hat. "Just shout down the door." said Jacob I removed the blade, and Blueblood fell to his knees covering his neck with his hands although there was no wound. "FUS RO DAH!" I shouted at the door. Not even Celestias magic could stop the unrelenting force. The door swung open nearly being ripped off its hinges, and This song started playing out of nowhere. "What the fu*k." I said as I decided to look behind me at a VERY angry Clestia. "YOU DARE THREATEN ONE OF MY VERY FAMILY YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY!" said the god like pony in the royal Canterlot voice. She summoned two golden blades out of thin air. "Nice feat of magic, but I've seen better." I said taking up a fighting stance. "Bro get out of there we need to run!" said Max obviously scared I looked to him, and he was now wearing a dunce cap. I sighed sheathing my sword, and approaching my friends only to be met with a magic bolt to the back. My vision began to fade as I blacked out. Kylie's POV That pony bi**h was gonna pay! I had decided this as soon as I saw Gage hit the floor. I raise my Huntsman arrow knocked, and fired at the pony. She tried to block it, but was to slow to bad my shot missed entirely. "Da*n it!" I said as I drew another arrow. "Stand down." said Jacob as he stepped forewords magnum drawn. "Now missy were gonna brawl!" he said firing round after round at the pony. She dodged each shot, and landed in front of her throne her horn lit up, but before she could do anything a guard burst in. "Princess King Sombra has returned!" he said panting.
Ponies, The Elf, and The Sniper"FUS RO DAH!" shouted the Dovahkiin in my game as I hacked and slashed through any Imperial unlucky enough to get in my way. Oh I should introduce myself I'm Gage Doyle also known as Dovahbrony, Dadera247, and coolone36. I'm 13 years old, but I am six feet tall, I have curly brown hair, and brown eyes. "Guys that guy just went flying!" I said to my friends on my phone. "Well you did use Unrelenting Force." said Jacob S. "It does that." "I don't care because it didn't launch him it sent him straight up! He's on top of the castle now!" I said looking up at the stranded Imperial. "I'm gonna get him." I said. After a lot of glitching I found myself next to the Imperial. "AWWW COME THE F**K ON!" yelled my friend Kyle or as I like to call him Rage Face. "He probably got his health pack stolen by a teammate who was at full health." said my cousin Max who was playing GTA V. "That's exactly what happened!" exclaimed Kyle who was playing TF2. "Pills here!" said Jacob S. who was playing Left 4 Dead 2. "Man this Magnum kills everything!" I just rolled my eyes, and adjusted my glasses on my nose "Let's throw down.....Awww he's dead already!" I said looking down at the dead Imperial whom I didn't get to finish off "What killed him though?" I pondered there wasn't an arrow in him and I didn't hear a fireball. "Is there an arrow in his knee?" asked Jacob. "Nope." I answered. "Well I'm out of ideaaassss ahhhhhhhhh TANK!" he yelled into the phone. "TAKE AN ARROW TO THE FACE!" yelled Kyle apparently getting a headshot with The Huntsman the bow you get in TF2 as The Sniper. He then proceeded to rage "YOUVE GOTTA BE F***KING KIDDING ME HE WAS DEAD!" he raged. In case you haven't noticed he gets mad very very easy. "Let me guess you hit him right between the eyes, but he still managed to kill you even though he should've died?" said Max. "That's exactly what happened. Man your good at this." said Kyle. "I do my best." said Max probably bowing in his bedroom to praise himself. I rolled my eyes and searched the Imperial I found some arrows, a bit of gold, and a book. Usually I would leave it, but it was named 'Please Don't Read!' so I took it. "Guys I found a purple book. It's called Please Don't read. Should I read it?" I asked my buddies. "Oh definitely. It probably will give you a new quest or something." said Kyle who really cheered up now. "Or it might be some hidden content." "Ohhhhh cool a RPG!" said Max "Now I'm gonna blow some sh*t up!" "I would of thought nothing less of you Max." I said as I clicked on the book it read I told you not to read! "But it was so tempting!" I said out loud. "What was?" asked Jacob who I assume finally killed the Tank. "The book said 'I told you not to read' but it was so tempting." I answered. As soon as I said it my screen froze "Awwwww come on!" "What is it?" asked Kyle. "My screen froze!" I said "I'm very mad as you can tell." I said angrily. I shook my fist at my T.V screen with a scowl on my face. "Well we have been playing for what seven hours now?" said Kyle. "Well my screen froze to so good night." he said ending the call. "Me to I'm gonna hit the hay." said Jacob. Max did the same, and as did I. I put my glasses on a box next to my bed, and crawled under the covers and closed my eyes. "Get up yah trespasser!" Applejack yelled into my ear. "Owwww my ear holes!" I said covering my ears only to find something covering my head. I touched my face, and saw my hand was covered by an Elven gauntlet. "Is there a funky looking mask on my face?" I asked much to the surprise of the mare. "Yeah but ah dun know why that's important trespasser." she said. I looked down and saw I was indeed clad in all elven armor (besides Vokun my mask) and Dawnbreaker hung on my hip it's miniature sun blazing. I looked back to Applejack and noticed she was anthropomorphic and dressed in stereotypical country girl clothing. I checked my left arm, and my shield was gone (darn). "Have you seen my shield?" I asked looking around the orchard I was in. "What? No, and why are you here?" she said again. "Well I fell asleep in my bed after seven hours of continuous gameplay, and now I find myself in Equestria.....I have no idea why I'm here but I already like this place!" I said my inner fan boy was screaming with excitement. I looked besides me and found my glasses, and so I removed my mask and put them on. "What in tarnation." Applejack said looking at my ears "why are your ears doin there for?" she said. I reached to my ears, and found them in there usual spot not on top of my head thank good ness, but I found they had a point on the end. "Cool I'm a wood elf!" I said "Though I wish I was a Kajjitt." Applejack cleared her throat to get my attention. "What in blazes is a wood elf?" she asked. "It's and elf" I said "that lives in trees not a very hard concept." "Well now that that's out of tha way can you and yer blue shirted friend get of mah property?" she said. I was confused for a moment until I saw a rather lanky kid sitting by a tree a bow, and arrow with him. He had on a Stetson and a blue shirt, under a black vest. His glasses were also present. "KYLE!" I said he raised his hand and grinned. "Miss me?" he said.
Magic.....Is Really EasySo your probably wondering 'How did you guys end up in Equestria?' and 'What is going on?' well I'll explain. Well I would but I don't know so just wait, and see maybe I'll find out. Threshold of Sweet Apple Acres "Well.....she kicked us out....literally." I said rubbing my back were Applejack had kicked me, and I'll tell you it hurt....a lot. "I'm gonna shoot that bi**h." muttered Kyle picking up his bow and knocking an arrow only for me to grab his arm. "Is it really worth the royal guard hunting us down? Is it?" I said. "Why would the royal guard chase us she's a farm girl not a princess." he said annoyed. "She's a national hero Applejack the Element of Honesty to be correct." I answered him grinning to the fact that it was standing outside Sweet Apple Acres! It's enough to make a grown man cry, but I'm not a grown man so I didn't cry I squealed with happiness. "She FU**ING KICKED US!" yelled Kyle (hello rage face) stomping his foot. "AND YOUR LETTING HER LEAVE?" he said. "Eeyup." I said mimicing Big Mac whom I saw go into the barn. "Wanna have a look around town?" I asked pointing behind me to a path that lead into Ponyville. "Oh and for future reference it's farm 'mare' she's a mare." "I don't care about your little girls show, or the terminology of horses." he said raising his hands. "They are ponies." I said "but that doesn't matter let's go." I said turning on my heel on the dirt path, and walked to the small town in the distance. Ponyville Kyle and I walked into the small town, and immediately got tackled by a pink woman with pink clothing, and pink curly hair, and well pink everything. "Hia I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm here to welcome you to PONYVILLE!" she said excitedly confetti popping into the air behind her. "Hia Pinkie!" I said smiling like a mad man under my mask while Kyle tried to get out from under the pink anthro pony. Finally he asked "Can you please get off me? Your crushing my lung." there was an audible pop, and he slumped over wheezing. His lungs actually popped! Wait HIS LUNGS POPPED! I pushed Pinkie off me with a slight push and she went flying.....well that's new, and loomed over my buddy. He looked terrible his face was purple, and his chest was caved in man Pinkie needed to lay off the sweets. "I heard that!" said Pinkie shaking her fist at me, and for the first time in my life I flipped someone off. "It's gonna be okay bud I'll get you out of this.....I hope." I said gulping as I held out my hands if I was my character I should be able to do magic right? Well my hands didn't light up so I couldn't it seemed. "Crap man how do I use my magic?" I said. Dawnbreaker was getting in the way, and I didn't know how to remove the sheathe so I drew it, and my left palm lit up. "Of course!" I said of course it's just like the game my weapon needs to be drawn before I can cast magic! I held out my hands, and cast the spell it didn't work. I was gonna start yelling at my hands when I remembered I only knew the default self healing spell. Kyle held out his hand still trying to breathe, and failing. I took it with my magic hand, and I got quite the supprise. My spell activated and swirled around Kyle after a minute his chest was healed, and he could breathe again. "Did I hurt him?" asked Pinkie staring dumbfounded. "Yes *cough* you fu**ing did." said Kyle, and strangely he wasn't screaming death threats huh go figure. "I'm sorry I really am....I'll just be going..." said Pinkie her hair deflating as she turned to leave. I got the feels. "Pinkie you don't have to go." I said "he's okay and he doesn't blame you do you Kyle?" I said glaring at him through my mask. "Ummmm yeah I don't blame you it was an accident...." he said, and I remembered I was still glaring so I stopped and he let out a breath. Man was I that intimidating? Back on earth I couldn't scare anyone, but I guess the mask helps. I mean I was a BIG kid at 6 feet tall at the age of 13 was pretty big, but then I was a nerd that didn't like conflict. Pinkies hair inflates and she smiled "Okie dokie lokie!" she said bouncing away. I rolled my eyes not ten minutes into Ponyville and one of us nearly died. "Well *coughs clearing his throat* were do we go now?" asked Kyle. I was going to say Twilight, but I heard yelling, and being the curious fu** I am I went to the sight of the yelling. Town Square A rather large kid with a chrome plated deagle was backed up against the town hall with a shorter thinner blonde kid in a suit and top hat. The blond kid was also wearing glasses, and I recognized them instantly "JACOB, MAX!" I yelled waving.....I am so stupid sometimes the crowd of ponies turned to me, and advanced yelling "I need to shut my mouth sometimes." I said slouching my shoulders. A loud bang was heard, and I looked up to see Jacob holding out his magnum pistol it's barrel smoking, and a bullet hole in front of the crowd of ponies. They screamed and ran away. "So were are we?" asked Jacob "and don't say Ponyville Max." "It's Ponyville." I said and Jacob threw his hands up in defeat. I chuckled and walked over to my friends Kyle in toe.
Shaddup I'm Fabulous"HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU ANGER THEM SO QUICKLY!" I yelled at Jacob. "They called me a deformed freak so I shot at them.....bad idea now that I think about it....." said Jacob scratching his chin with his magnum. I was about to rage and that's Kyles thing so I turned to Max who was chatting away with a brown earth pony stallion with a hourglass cutiemark I knew his name but it eluded me for the moment. After what felt like hours Max returned all giddy with happiness. "What's got you so riled up?" I asked. "Just talked to Doctor Whooves! So happy." said Max practically squealing, but I noticed he switched hats. "When did you switch hats?" I asked for the reason that he was now wearing a fedora. He looked up and saw what I was talking about. "I didn't......that's......odd...to say the least...." said Max scratching his head with his combat pistol I reached for his arm, but it was to late his trigger slipped and I heard the pop of his silenced pistol as his brains were blown out of his head! "MAX!" I yelled as I caught his body before it hit the ground. Tears were rushing down my face under Vokun as I looked down at my cousins lifeless body. "No no no no no no no!" I said cradling his dead body still crying feeling broken, and helpless until. "Hey!" called Max from the end of the street waving his hand. At first I was confuzzled until I looked down and saw his body was gone! He just re spawned just like the game....I should've seen that coming a mile away. "What the fu*k happened?" he asked when he finally arrived to his place of death. "YOU SHOT YOURSELF IN THE FU**ING FACE!" I yelled I don't like to swear, but I felt it was needed at the moment. Max took a step back and slipped on the blood puddle made by his corpse I couldn't help, but laugh at the sight. "Yeah yeah laugh it up." said Max "But I just found out I'm immortal! So HAH!" he said jabbing me with his finger on the 'HAH'. "Shaddup I'm FABULOUS!" said Kyle raising his voice in pitch on the fabulous part. I looked over and saw a pale white unicorn in a white tank top and some purple pants, her mane was purple and three diamonds were on her shoulder. "No your not that outfit is absolutely dreadful." said the mare whom I recognized as Rairity (a.k.a worst pony besides Blueblood). I'm not going to go into detail about why I hate her because it would take a chapter to do so. "Well I like it okay Prissy Prim!" Kyle exclaimed turning around from the flabbergasted Rairity towards us. I was ready to bust out in a fit of genuine laughter, but no matter how much I disliked Rairity I was taught to never disrespect a lady. "I'm sorry miss but my friend is a bit of a jerk sometimes, but you did insult his outfit so it wasn't entirely unjustified, but non the less I apologize on his behalf." I said. "Why thank you mister....." "Gage." I said holding out my hand (why am I so calm I usually break under these circumstances) "But you may call me Dovahbrony." I said. "Well than thank you Dovahbrony." said Rairity shaking my hand (I don't seem to hate her as much now....what is happening to me!). As soon as the handshake ended we parted ways I let out my breath, and sat down on a bench next to my buds. Then I Burt's out laughing with happiness I WAS IN EQUESTRIA AND I WASNT DREAMING! "Guys I cannot begin to say how happy I am to be here!" I said to my group of friends. "Well I don't care to be here, but it is quite relaxing now that I think about it." said Jacob stretching and then leaning back in the bench. I turned to Max and yet again he changed hats this time it was a black ski cap. "The air is so much *breathes in* cleaner than back home." said Kyle, and I couldn't help but agree no chemicals filled this world, and it was so clean. "What do you mean back home? All of Equestria is like this." said a cyan pegasus on a nearby stand roof. Her eyes were a violetish and her mane rainbow. She wore a sports jersey, shorts and sandals. It was Rainbow Dash. "Hi there!" I said. "Hi back at you, but you still haven't answered my question." she said getting a big annoyed (glad to know I can still do that right.) "You wouldn't believe us if we told you." said Jacob his eyes still closed. "And why is that?" asked the mare now leaning on her elbows on the back of the bench. "Because they're from another world were we are just cartoon ponies in a show for little ity bitty girls, but a large group of male fans called bronies watch the show and make things such as our world." said Pinkie whom popped out of nowhere. "Now that's just ridiculous." said Rainbow Dash rolling her eyes. "It's true though." said Max. "Whaaaaaa....." was all Rainbow could say for the fourth wall had died a little and she slipped in blood and got knocked out cold. "This is going to be one heck of an adventure." I said picking the unconscious mare out of the puddle and l placed her down on another bench. "One heck of an adventure indeed."
Twitchy Eye Means Somepony Might DieIt was a few hours later when Rainbow Dash finally woke up, and she was mad! "WHO THE HAY KNOCKED ME OUT!" she yelled getting up in a fighting stance seeing us sitting on the bench adjacent to her. "Hey guys what happened?" she asked walking up to us. "You passed out when we confirmed we were from another dimension." I said as I continued to marvel at Dawnbreaker it's miniature sun roaring with power. "Wait you guys are serious? Next your gonna tell me that we actually are just cartoon characters." she said. "That's also true." I said, and Rainbow looked beyond shocked at that moment in time. "You okay Rainbow?" I asked the dumbstruck mare. She laughed nervously "Really funny guys, but that's not a nice thing to joke about." She looked on the edge of hysteria. "It's all true look" Max did the motions for the Pinkie Promise "I promise my cousin is telling the truth." Rainbow was a bit a taken back but still held firm "Yeah right you all are just a bunch of liers." she points to me "your the worst of em." That was the last straw! One of the few things that instantly set me off is being called a liar, and she just did that! I slammed my arm against her neck my right eye twitching under my mask. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!" I yelled into her face. "Calm down dude she was just being a bi**h don't need to kill her over it." said Jacob trying to calm me down to no avail. "I'm sorry just let me go please!" pleaded Rainbow Dash tears apparent in her eyes. For a moment I faltered, then I dropped her backing up looking at my hands in horror. "What did I just do?" I asked silently to no one in particular while RD just stared at me scared witless as she walked slowly away. "I'm so so sorry!" I said backing away myself scared at what I had done. A Few Blocks Away Rainbow Dashes POV I was already far away from that psychopath roughly five six blocks away when I ran into Twilight Sparkle my egghead friend. "Oh my Celestia Twilight you will not believe the looney that attacked me back at the stalls!" I said out of breath. "Wait you were attacked! By who?" said the purple mare. She was wearing a purple button up shirt you'd see in offices, and a black skirt along with dress shoes. "Some new stallion in town. Armed to the teeth a few buddies, a funky mask can't miss him." I said still panting I could still feel the cool metal of the gauntlet pressing against my throat. "Then gather up the girls were heading out!" said Twilight spreading her wings and flying to the market. My POV I'm just going to tell you Twilights magic hurts. We got off on the wrong foot, and I think I offended her or something not sure how. Anyway she blasted me across the town, and that wasn't very nice, and it was wayyyyy out of character. "That wasn't very nice!" I yelled from the hole in the ground my body made on impact. "I said I was sorry." I muttered thinking that maybe RD got Twilight to attack me cause of my outburst (soooo likely now that I think about it). I got up and walked back to the stalls where the Manes Six (minus Fluttershy) was present. "I was expecting charred remains, but it looks like your stronger than you look bub." said RD smugly. "I thought you were a gentlecolt." said Rairity with a slight snobbish air to her (another thing that likes to set me off). "I guess ah thought right yer nothin but trouble." said Applejack. "I'm good with him." said Pinkie (least that one doesn't hate my guts). "Now listen!" I yelled "Why are you guys attacking me? Does it have to do with the outburst at Rainbow?" I asked they nodded "Oi it was an accident...being called a liar to my face sets me off that's all." I kicked a pebble. "Still doesn't justify trying to kill me!" exclaimed Rainbow Das. I responded with "If I was trying to kill you you'd be a stain in the dirt already." I instantly covered the mouth opening on my mask "Why did I say that?" They all just stared speechless at me. Applejack was about to speak until some kind of instrument was played, and I saw a yellow chariot approaching. "Oh this is fan tucking fastic." I said I turned my attention to my subdued friends (they were knocked out when the fighting started by Twilights spell.) When the chariot landed a tall, slender, white alicorn with a flowing mane that resembled the suns colorful rays stepped out a stern look on her face. It was Princess (or as I like to say pony god) Celestia. "It has come to my attention that you have threatens the life of one of Equestrias princesses friends am I correct?" The godly monarch asked. "I didn't threaten anything. Sure I lashed out, but I wasn't gonna kill her." I answered truthfully. "Applejack is he telling the truth?" asked Celestia looking to the Element of Honetsy. "He's not lying." stated the country mare. "Thank you my dear AJ!" I said with a bow. "Your still not off the hook." said Celestia. "Darn it." I said plopping down on a bench awaiting my punishment.
Royal ButtmunchHere I was locked up in a jail cell like a common criminal. "Well fu*k you to." I said silently to Celestia whom was walking away from my cell were me, and my friends were located. "Well this sucks balls." said Jacob very annoyed as he un-loaded, and loaded his magnum over and over. If I haven't told you Jacob is dressed up as Coach from L4D2. Also your probably wondering why the f**k haven't they disarmed us? I'll explain. When they tried to take our weapons they kinda stuck to our hands they couldn't remove them so the put up a solid iron door in hopes of keeping us in. "So were armed, and in jail....wanna break out?" asked Max we all nodded and readied our weapons for we had an escape to do. Throne Room Celestia's POV I swirled a cup of orange juice whilst sitting on my throne pondering what to do with the group of creatures that assaulted Rainbow Dash. She was torn on one hoof she felt that the quartet needed to be punished, and on another Rainbow Dash did provoke them so it wasn't entirely unjustified. I sat my cup down my pondering complete. I would let them go on the promise that they never return to Ponyville or Canterlot ever again. It was the perfect choice. I conjured up a ink quill, and parchment to send a letter to the jailers to bring the prisoners to me when I heard a shout. "FUS RO DAH!" My POV Dawnbreaker is like a Lightsaber. It cuts through doors just like in the movies! As soon as my group stepped out we were met by a battalion of guards. "Kyle knees." I ordered. 'Just like Skyrim' I thought looking at the lack of knee armor on the anthro guards. Kyle proceeded to shoot every guard in the hallway in the knee with an arrow. "TAKE THAT BIT**ES!" shouted Kyle at the top of his lungs. "Now" I said "how do we get passed this magic barrier?" I asked looking at the magic wall in the middle of the hall. "Let's see" said Max now wearing a hockey mask as he fired his silenced combat pistol at the field each bullet vaporized. "Well I'm out of ideas." But upon saying that I got one. I breathed in Jacob being a fellow Skyrim fan knew what I was doing and covered his ears, the others followed his example as I shouted "FUS RO DAH!" a rippling blue wave of energy flowed from the mouth opening of my mask slamming into the shield wall. It held for a moment but my shout was to strong the wall shattered, and I gestured for my friends to follow as I drew Dawnbreaker. Throne room I walked into the throne room much to the surprise of the ponies in the very room. "Hello ponies my name is Gage, and I'm escaping from jail see ya!" I said waving as I walked to the front doors my friends behind me (I guess I'm the leader now?) Anyway just as I opened the door Celestia got over her shock, and used her magic to close the huge doors. "Crap." I muttered. "Can we just leave?" asked Kyle on the verge of a rage. "No you can't." said her royal buttmunch "You've just escaped jail, injured a battalion of guards, and earlier assaulted an Element of Harmony." "The last one I couldn't control okay!" I said to Celestia. "Just go back to your cell like the vermin you are." said a white unicorn stallion with a goldish mane. I recognized him as prince blue blood. "Oh I'm sorry I'll go right away your royal buttmunch." I said bowing with a smirk. It took a minute for his tiny, snobbish brain to compute what I'd said. "Why you insufferable little...." he was cut off by the sudden presence of Dawnbreaker against his throat. "You wanna continue that?" I said as my friends impatiently waited at the door, Max was now wearing a green pork pie hat. "Just shout down the door." said Jacob I removed the blade, and Blueblood fell to his knees covering his neck with his hands although there was no wound. "FUS RO DAH!" I shouted at the door. Not even Celestias magic could stop the unrelenting force. The door swung open nearly being ripped off its hinges, and This song started playing out of nowhere. "What the fu*k." I said as I decided to look behind me at a VERY angry Clestia. "YOU DARE THREATEN ONE OF MY VERY FAMILY YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY!" said the god like pony in the royal Canterlot voice. She summoned two golden blades out of thin air. "Nice feat of magic, but I've seen better." I said taking up a fighting stance. "Bro get out of there we need to run!" said Max obviously scared I looked to him, and he was now wearing a dunce cap. I sighed sheathing my sword, and approaching my friends only to be met with a magic bolt to the back. My vision began to fade as I blacked out. Kylie's POV That pony bi**h was gonna pay! I had decided this as soon as I saw Gage hit the floor. I raise my Huntsman arrow knocked, and fired at the pony. She tried to block it, but was to slow to bad my shot missed entirely. "Da*n it!" I said as I drew another arrow. "Stand down." said Jacob as he stepped forewords magnum drawn. "Now missy were gonna brawl!" he said firing round after round at the pony. She dodged each shot, and landed in front of her throne her horn lit up, but before she could do anything a guard burst in. "Princess King Sombra has returned!" he said panting.
