Shield's Birthday Blitz

by Shieldheart204

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 12255

As Shield and his friends celebrate his birthday, his sensor totems alert them of incoming hostile forces from the Everfree Forest. And so they decide to knock some heads out.

It's June 9th, the day known as Shield's birthday. And the commissioner celebrates his birthday in the way he always celebrates: With video games and endless streams of mead and beer. But all birthdays are vulnerable to being crashed, even one in a town known for its peace.

The trouble will come in the form of an orc warband led by Cap'n Killteef, an ogre warlord of dubious reputation. He and his band of merry murderers plan on wiping out Ponyville in an attempt to add glory to his name. His motives are meaningless to Shield and company, they've got mead in their bellies and their rage in their blood. They will be more than happy to fight off the horde.

But the fight will not be just against Shield and buddies, since Killteef wants to turn Ponyville into his new base of operations. And he will do so through the use of one of the Ogre's most complex tactics: throwing his inferior orc cousins at the enemy until they stops moving.

Will the commissioners be able to hold back the green tide? Or will the horde inevitably overwhelm Ponyville through sheer numbers?

Published 2015-02-07 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-01 03:39:08 UTC

Chapter 2

The Commissioners smiled and fired a variety of bullets at the tsunami of orcs attempting to enter Ponyille. The orcs met the ammunition like any regular being could imagine: tanking some and succcumbing to others. Shield Heart fired standard assault rounds, Cherry was busy firing a near perfect stream of bullets, and Thunder was busy pulling the trigger of his grenade launcher while thrusting his pelvis with each shot.

The orcs were torn to shreds or reduced to burnt giblets, but even with the slaughtering of their comrades the orcs were still charging full force. The wave soon made it to the bottom of the hill and slammed through the force field. But many realized their stupidity too late. Only one out of every four orcs managed to survive the barrier’s calcinating properties. Those lucky enough to survive saw their war buddies inhale the dust that used to be their unfortunate comrades.

“For Queens and Country, CHARGE!!!” Shield commanded, pointing his falchion toward toward the mass. The Storm brothers immediately dashed, holstering their ranged weapons and grabbing their melee weapons. With a flap of his wings Thunder immediately took to the skies, while Fire set himself ablaze and sprinted toward the green wall.

Shield pulled out Snow and fired as many shots before he met an ax-wielding orc. It swung forward, clumsily losing its balance and stumbling back. Shield tightened his grip and forced the blade to glow a weak carmine. The commissioner took a step forward and thrusted his blade, cutting through flesh and spine with ease. He fired three shots as he deflected a spear tip from his jugular. Two shots managed to perforate foreheads, the third bullet pierced a stomach.

Fire jumped a second before meeting his foes and ignited small jets from the soles of his boots, With his spear he managed to pierce two heads and a neck as he slammed against the mass of orcs. He left his spear and pulled out his shotgun. He fired one shot forward and allowed the momentum to throw the weapon back. He fired again, blasting an orc’s head apart. He swung to his left side and fired another shower of pellets.

From the skies came Thunder, with the speed of a falling meteorite into the middle of the oncoming mass. As he slammed his axe to the ground he caught the face of an orc in crude iron armor. The glowing blade cut through the helmet like wet paper. Pulling out the axe with blinding speed, Thunder followed with a tornado strike, decapitating three goons in one swoop. He turned to the one with the heaviest armor and lifted his middle finger.

In a fit of rage, the orc charged with its halberd pointed toward Thunder’s throat. With the slash of his mighty axe the seraph neutered the weapon. But the warrior did not stop. It drew a broadsword and charged once more. It raised it sword, but dropped it after a bullet exploded its skull like a watermelon.

“Hey that was my kill!” Thunder yelled. He dodged an axe meant to separate his head. He countered by lodging his axe on the orc's groin. With a yelp of pain it fell to the ground. Thunder followed with a shot from Blasto, the explosion turned at least ten orcs into an old memory. He kicked the barrel open and loaded another canister. Firing once more, he vanquished ten more foes. "M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!!" Thunder roared as he recovered his axe. "I wanna see which one of you wimps can beat me." He grabbed a can of beer and gulped it down.

Before a dozen rusted swords could claim Thunder's life they fell to the floor by a decapitating bullet. "That's twenty five for me!" Moondancer replied with a grin. She leapt into the air and fired three more shots, each ending at least five orcs. “You can’t beat my killstreak!”

"Get the fuck out of here Moony, this is my zone!” He replied. “Go find your own space!” he swung his axe again, the power field slicing through flesh and bone with ease. An orc fell behind him, a hole pierced its head. “I thought I said to stop stealing my kills?”

"That wasn't me." She protested as she shot three more goons. Her DMR hissed loudly as the heat escaped the chamber.

"Then who the fuck stole my kills?" Thunder asked, blasting three orcs with a shot from Blasto.

.oOo.

While the Commissioners were busy stemming the tide of orcs and Crystal, Twilight and Rarity were busy taking care of stragglers, nobody bothered to look after the only little girl. Hawk Eye skulked behind everyone, trying her best not to give away the Macintosh rifle and the satchel slung to her back. She stacked as many boxes as she could and sprinted toward the roof.

She kept running up the roof, trying her best to avoid slipping down. Once on the wooden beam she sat down and let the wooden underbarrel rest on her knee. She looked down the sights, aimed at a shotgun-armed orc, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. She didn’t give herself time to enjoy her shot as she pulled the bolt back to let the brass case fly off. She slammed the bolt back and aimed at an orc ready to backstab Thunder.

.oOo.

Fire Storm dodged a thrusting sword, slamming his spear to the ground and jumping on the sapphire pommel. "The floor is lava!" he chuckled. A small area around his spear immediately caught fire. The foes were set ablaze, either ignited by Fire’s spear or by his blazing shotgun blasts. "That' thirty more kills, so I get my second point."

Shield burst through, passing his friend and toward the edge of the border. With a spin of Riot he downed five foes. He dodged a blade and cleaved his claymore unto an orc. He continued by pulling out his pistols and unleashing a barrage of bullets, most were hits, and it only downed seven orcs. "We’re tied Flameo.”

With a shout of rage, Fire arced his spear forward. A wave of flame erupted from its tip and hit a group of orcs. Pointing his sapphire pommel at his crowd he unleashed a beam, and stabbed the ground. The stab produced a chain of explosions, ending in a blast that encircled six orcs.

Both commissioners felt bullets whiz past their ears, one of which singed Shield’s hair. He turned around toward the angle of origin. “Hey! Watch it!”

“Sorry!” shouted Twilight. She fired six more bullets, none of which required dodging on his part. But it did require some reaction from the orcs, as five shots met their mark and two orcs fell down.

Another freezing shell hit, followed by a stream of gatling fire. From the air landed Cherry Blossom, announcing her landing spot with a burst of fire from her minigun. As she landed, the boom from her boots forced orcs to fall on their bottoms. She pulled out her scythe with her left hand and decapitated the few enemies that failed to react. With her right hand she fired her weapon at a group, and with her other she pulled an enemy in she dropped her gun and went for the barrier.

She ducked under a war axe and swung her weapon. The blade cut through the unarmored foes with ease. She spun her scythe around her waist and and cut another wave of orcs. She quickly held her scythe with her hand and spun it vertically, sending an orc into the air. She flapped her wings and began her airborne assault.

“Gimmie a sec.” Shield shouted as he embeded his falchion on an enemy. With a clap of his hands his bracers activated and steeled his hands. He turned to the orc closest to him and delivered a series of glowing taps. He continued this pattern with the next four orcs, dodging whenever necessary but never inflicting any sort of damage. With a stomp of his right boot he sent the victims into the air. “Go!”

With a Cheshire smile, Cherry swung her scythe in the blink of an eye. Her strike decapitated the flying orcs, and with a back swing she batted the head into a crowd. Infused with Shield’s magic, the heads exploded like grenades, knocking back scores of green-skinned humanoids. Cherry gripped her minigun and sprayed the area, keeping to the air as a few hostile shots attempted to clip her wings.

Shield let go of the strength on his feet as another flurry of bullets soared toward his head. This time, they were blue bolts with a sparkling trail. As he looked to the sniper’s balcony he saw Rarity viciously pulling the trigger. Unlike Twilight, her shots disarmed the orcs. Mainly the ones with big weapons or the rare troopers with shotguns.

Shield parried a rusted blade, swinging to his left and using the momentum to deliver a crushing heel kick to its face. Another orc rushed in with a hammer in tow, and let out a battlecry as it swung toward his head. Shield grinned and stepped aside, driving his sword into its neck. He left his falchion and delivered a hook punch to the nearest target.

He followed with two jabs to the torso and a snap kick to its hip, letting the magic flow out of his limbs with each blow. He instinctively ducked, letting three of Moondancer’s bullets trim the battlefield. He extended his hand toward his falchion and stared at it. It nudged itself free of the orc flesh and rocketed toward him.

.oOo.

“Hey Pyro, think you can cover for me while I get more beer?” Thunder asked his brother as he smashed an orc with the pommel of his axe. His brother merely nodded and released six balls of fire from his gloves. As each sphere touched the ground it exploded violently, knocking down those that were saved from the flames.

“Where the hell did all these orcs come from?” Cherry asked as she punched her minigun. The weapon opened an exhaust port and hissed violently. “I thought we killed the Canterlot Battalion last year.” She pulled her scythe and diced the nearest orc charging toward her without even a glance.

“Damned if I know.” Fire answered, blasting three orcs with the flaming bullets. “But some of them are from the Battalion, so maybe we didn’t get them all.”

Moondancer jumped into their little circle, bloodied rapier on her left hand. “Have you killed any lieutenants?” The other commissioners looked at each other.

“I was hoping that the Captain was keeping them under control.” Fire answered as he rammed his spear through three throats. “So who the hell is stealing our kills?”

“Hawk Eye,” Moon answered, skewering a head and leaving the rapier in place. She withdrew her handbows and began shooting energy bolts. She cartwheeled away, using her sharp heels to slice her way back to her sword. “she’s been perched up there for most of the fight.”

The ground shook violently, forcing the Commissioners to jump. Shield sheathed Riot in favor of his rifle. He kept jumping over orcs, killing those that made a run for the house and disarming those that stayed in the fray. He poised himself over a head and jumped, once he felt that gravity was coming to reclaim him he put his right foot ready and turned his arms into small rockets. The impact caused by his stomp sent various orcs into the air.

Thunder took the chance to run and slammed three enemies into the ground. Fire ran behind him, blasting shells everywhere and setting enemies ablaze. Cherry followed close behind, spinning her scythe like a tornado and laughing .

The ogre was busy firing an antique 80mm cannon at them, or at least flogging the two goblins that were in charge of manipulating the gun. Each shot appeared to shake both the barriers and the gun itself, which was probably going to fall apart. Eventually the magical wall began to give way, cracking violently and letting chunks of magical energy dissipate.

“Twilight, Rarity!” Crystal shouted. “I need you to get that barrier back into primer condition!” She fired a couple of rounds before expelling a hissing clip. “Rainbow!” she screamed. the polychromatic girl looked at her. “Help me get rid of these freaks!”

Twilight raised her rifle and immediately ran for the door. As she neared the glass doors she saw that Pinkie Pie was holding an artilery mortar, humming some song as she walked by. Without letting anyone object, she set it on the ground and fired a round bomb. Twilight barely saw how it crashed against the horde and erupted in geysers of confetti

She looked behind and saw her friend right behind her. Without saying a word of encouragment, she ran through the bedroom and down the stairs. “Let’s hope the door didn’t lock itself.” she murmured to herself as she turned the doorknob. And to their relief, the door swung easily. The study was relatively unchanged, except for the large, bulky console on the wall.

“Shield to base, how’s that barrier holding?” Came the Commissioner’s voice through the speakers in the room. As his voice came through the ground shook again, letting the girls know that the barrier was cracking again. “I don’t want to be a bother, but could you speed up whatever it is that you’re doing?”

Twilight ignored the voice and gripped the nearest magical pylon. Instantly, a large bolt of static erupted from the machine and hit her square in the chest. Her body was paralyzed for a second, apparently content with letting the bolt run its course. Rarity offered her a hand, which Twilight gladly accepted. What Twilight didn’t accept from her friend was a hairbrush. “What? Your hair’s a mess.”

Twilight’s hands went for her hair, or as she soon learned, a static mass of rigid fibers. Oh right, static makes hair go up. She thought to herself.

“Shield to base, you can stop whatever you’re doing. Get back inside and start lockdown. The barriers have collapsed.”The voice came, letting the speakers blare out with the alarm. “Oh, and the enemy is retreating thanks to your friend’s confetti bombs. Uh… wait, scratch that. Apparently they’re just sending a couple of well armed dudes at us.”

Chapter 3

Most people would cry in despair at the sight and thunderous boom of a cracking barrier. A few would cry in horror. Not the Commissioners, they just sighed in annoyance at the sight. Shield could only take small comfort in the fact that the few remains of the army were running back into the forest. But his danger sense started tingling when four orcs stepped forward.

Or, at least he thought they were orcs. These particular specimens were so buff and well armored that Shield could have mistaken them for golems. But they were structured weirdly, three in the front one in the back, with the ogre Cap’n following close by.

The center soldier stepped forward, holding a pair of waraxes. It was wearing a full set of rusted plate armor with a black upside down U. It wore no helmet, opting instead to reveal a stitched scar across its glass right eye. With a snarl it revealed a row of putrid, jagged and probably deadly, teeth. Shield recognized the silhouette left by the armor. Without a doubt this orc was once part of the Guard.

To his right was another orc, wearing a large variety of furs, armed with a maul and a buckler and wearing a skull tattoo on its face. It roared, smashing the weapon against its leather shield.

The orc to the left was wearing old leather rags, crackled by age and dirt. It brandished a pair of rusted machetes, constantly clashing its blades as it muttered under its breath. The ground around it rumbled, letting stones erupt into sparks and the air waver as it was filled with strange airs.

The orc behind, or at least they hoped was one, was the bulkiest of the bunch, almost as bulky as the ogre. Covered from head to toe in metal, both rusted and new, the orc was more of a cyborc than regular. Its right hand, it sported an industrial buzzsaw. The other hand had a barrel, long, thick and apparently capable of firing large projectiles. Its head was a cacophony of flesh and metal, sporting one real eye on the left side and three small eyes on the right.

The plate-armored orc stepped forward, aimed an axe at the thatched house and roared: “I will feast on your young!” And raised its hands. The rest followed on the last action. And slowly, they began trudging toward the Commissioners.

“I’ll take care of the armored bastard.” Shield said as he drew Riot. “I’ll teach his green ass to threaten my family and gets to walk away in one piece.” He tightened his grip and let the blade glow faintly, a chain of teeth covering it. “And I’m going in Olde School.”

“Then I’ll deal with Combusting Machetes.” Fire said, holstering his shotgun. He cracked his knuckles and took his stance.

“That mean’s I’ll take the maul and shield guy.” Moondancer replied.

“Leave Mecha to me. I’ll kick its metal hide back to hell.” Cherry said, taking out her scythe.

Thunder twisted his neck and turned on the power field on his axe. “That means that I’ll deal with the big boy here. Don’t worry, when I mount his head on my fireplace I’ll be sure to add a note saying you helped me a bit.”

And so the Commissioners charged, meeting their opponents with war cries and insults. Cherry and Thunder jumped over their friends, making sure that their crash would send their opponent far away from the melee. Fire and Moondancer rushed to their sides weapons ready to pierce.

.oOo.

Killteef barely had a second to react before a battle axe lodged itself on its shoulder. It cried in pain as it lashed at the bag of flesh that harmed it. “Yous gonna pay fer dat!” Thunder Storm laughed as he jumped backward, leaving the weapon stuck on Killteef’s shooty arm. As much as the ogre wanted, the limb refused to move.

The ogre swung its klaw, crackling with thousands of bolts of energy. But the human dodged effortlessly, cartwheeling back as he dislodged the axe from the socket. “So what’s it gonna take to get your wimpy ass outta here?” he mocked, leaving his axe on the floor. “How about a few scratches?” Thunder Storm pulled out a pair of steel rods, barely longer than his hands, and gripped them tightly. The rods mutated into a pair of steel claws, complete with a hand guard in between each blade.

Thunder Charged again, delivering a swift jab to the ogre’s left. The blades cut through the tough skin, leaving marks dripping with black blood. He followed through with two more cross punches to the stomach and a roundhouse kick to the left side of Killteef’s face. With a chuckle he pulled out blasto and fired a grenade at its stomach.

The blast tore the ribcage apart, leaving a blackened crater where green flesh had once been. The ogre cried in pain, howling curses as it stood up and slammed its dislodged arm back into place. with a rabid howl it fired a stream of bolts, unleashing empty casings into the grass. But as much as it wanted, none of the bullets could hope to graze the human.

Thunder let his instincts take hold, knowing full well that the battle meditation would do its best to make sure that all six limbs would remain attached to his body. On several occasions he was tempted to stick his tongue out to see if he could taste the brass pellets, but refrained. No taste could beat the inability to kiss a woman for even a second. Soon Thunder heard his chance, the familiar Chick! of a jammed weapon.

Retracting his claws and picking up his axe, Thunder let out a shout and flapped his wings to launch himself. He swung his axe around, bringing it into contact against the ogre’s shooting arm.The axe sliced through the arm, burning the stump as it went.

Killteef swung wildly , catching Thunder’s axe before he could retreat. “I’s gonna rip ya ta shreds!”it roared, pushing down in an attempt to overwhelm the man. “An’ once I’s done with ya I’ll kill yer buddies with yer junk!”

“Wanna see your new weapon?” Thunder asked smugly as he thrusted his hip. A small silver barrel stretched from his zipper. “Here, I’m sure you’re gonna have a blast!” He thrusted once more and the barrel fired a blue sphere. It landed on Killteef’s chest, blasting a chunk of its stomach. He thrusted again, this time his shot exploded on its face.

With a hearty laugh Thunder backed up and slammed his axe against the ogre’s neck, separating it cleanly from its target. He picked it up and held it on his right hand, keeping it as high and as far away from him as possible while saying: “I’ve always wanted to drink scotch from a bleached ogre’s skull, and you are totally perfect.”

.oOo.

Moondancer thrusted her rapier against the leather shield, it bounced off and she followed with three more strikes. None of them got past the hide barrier. The orc was being smart, keeping the shield in just the right spots. She switched her stance, dedicating her body to dodge the blows. The orc swung too far and left an opening, which Moon took without a second thought. The thin blade pierced her target, but the orc let out a devious chuckle. Moon refused the feeling to duck and tightened her grip, letting the blade glow white.

The orc swung back, smashing its iron maul against Moon’s head. She felt her personal barriers break, and let the momentum sent her flying backwards. She rolled backward and back up to her feet, pulling her DMR to bear. She pulled the trigger five times, grimacing as each shot bounced off the leather.

“What is that thing made of?” she muttered to herself. What made her turn her head even more was the fact that the orc refused to remove its rapier. She pulled her handbows and fired each shot at the vulnerable spots she could see. Once again, the buckler deflected each shot, almost teleporting to stop bolts that should have made it through. She took a deep breath, calculated carefully her next action and fired another bolt.

Just as she had planned, the bolt let out a cloud of smoke. She dashed in, grabbed the hilt of her rapier and felt a large block of metal hit her on the back of the head. Her face was planted to the ground, curses muffled by the dirt. Her instincts told her to roll around, and she followed. The ground barely vibrated from the impact, letting her know that it was a heavy strike.

She began to imagine an attack sequence, going through the stabs and thrusts with exquisite detail, and with a deep breath she started. The first strike, a forward thrust with a slight right angle, was easily blocked but sent the shield to the sides. She switched hands, letting her left hand take control and issue three rapid stabs. Her thoughts were made clear when all three were blocked by the leather.

Moondancer’s body forced her to drop to the ground and let a bolt of magic whizzed past her dropping hair. The bullet collided against the orc’s left shoulder, forcing it to drop its effective defense. Hollow Shade’s commissioner took advantage of the situation and leapt back into the air, slicing the orc from crotch to scalp. Moon expected that the orc would fall down and die, but instead it exploded into a thousand translucent fragments.

“What the hell?” she asked herself as she paced around the scene. She turned around and looked at the roof. As she had expected, Hawk Eye was perched on the wooden beam holding the Macintosh rifle. “She is going to be in so much trouble after this.”

.oOo.

Fire stepped back, narrowly missing the edge of the machetes, and slammed his spear on the ground. He pulled out his shotgun and fired a flaming shell. The orc promptly burst into flames with a hysterical laugh.

Fire turned around and walked back to the house, until he felt two metal rods going against his neck. The barriers removed the damage, but the count still felt the pain. He quickly let his spear fall to the ground struck with his left elbow, smashing at the orc’s head. He followed with a right cross at the face, two snap-side kicks and a spinning left roundhouse. The orc swung both rusted weapons wildly, but failed to maim its cartwheeling target. With a roar of rage it charged and spun around like a tornado.

The orc kicked the commissioner away, touching its cauterized wound. The blade had managed to pierce all the way to the stomach, effortlessly burning through flesh and organs. And due to the intense heat, it left no blood. “You will pay for this maggot!” it cried in a shrill voice and yet another charge. Fire blocked both blades with his left hand, using his right to deliver a cross punch against the exposed neck. His arm was kicked out of the way, forcing him to step back.

“Who do you work for?” the bluehead asked. “Because at this point I doubt that you work for a sub-par ogre war leader.” He dodged a high strike and deflected a left. “And don’t tell me that you’re alone on this. No orc can make a refractor field, much less modify one to imitate methane.”

The orc swung from the ground and spun against him from the top right. While his barrier and his weapons were enough to stop the damage, he was still forced to kiss the ground due to the force. He rolled away, avoiding a strike. He waited before hearing the simple hum of his barriers, but they never came. He jumped back to avoid another hit, realizing that his barriers were taking too long. A brief look at his chest confirmed his suspicion: the orc had somehow managed to overload them.

He stopped both machetes as they beared down on him, but the strain was harder without the barriers. The rusted blades managed to pierce the tough leather, stopped only metal framework. “That will probably leave a bruise…” he muttered. The orc broke his defense with a kick to the chest. “Ok, so NOW I’ve got a bruise.” The orc leered at the downed commissioner.

“Once I am done here I will be the Roghart the…” but it stopped, unable to stare at the hole mare on its head. Without another word it promptly exploded into an infinite amount of pieces. And it left no mark that it had ever been there.

Fire turned to see his savior, and saw Moondancer holstering her DMR with a smug grin. “I guess you owe me big time champ.” she turned to look at where the orc had once been. “Who knew right? Mine also disappeared.”

“So who saved your life?” he asked as he looked at her. She held her right elbow with her left hand, looking away as she occasionally eyed her friend.

“I didn’t need help. I killed that bastard on my own. It wasn’t that hard. Really.” she said, keeping her eyes away from him. “Why is it so hard to believe “

“My orc had a refractor field modified to imitate methane, meaning I couldn’t use anything fire related. I seriously doubt that I was the one who drew the short straw, that’s Shield’s job.”

“It was Hawk Eye. The bastard was busy reading my mind, the second it lowered its guard Baby Bear shot its buckler away and she gave me a chance to gut that bastard.” she replied with a smile. “There’s something wrong with that girl.”

“No shit?” he replied, making an effort to hide his grin. “A ten-year old capable of firing a gun, a Macintosh hunting rifle no less, with literal deadly accuracy is what made you think that there’s something wrong? Why don’t we start with: SHE’S HOLDING A FUCKING GUN LIKE A SOLDIER!”

“Keep your boots on Flameo, I was just saying something.”

Chapter 4

Cherry blocked the buzzsaw strike from the cyborc, slamming the butt of her scythe against the monster’s face. The blow pushed it back, growling through its metal jaw as it tried to regain balance. But she never let him. Cherry dropped her weapon and flapped her wings, delivering a jab against the right of the orc’s jaw. The orc rolled back a few paces, slamming its gun into the ground to slow itself down.

“Could you please do better? I don’t want to finish too fast. It’s embarrassing.” she said with a sly grin. “Come on, get up. I know you aren’t dead yet.” She grabbed her weapon and waited. The orc stood up quicker than she had anticipated, firing a burst of explosive rivets. Most projectiles whizzed past her, promptly exploding behind her. The last rivet managed to touch her chest, rocketing her back. “Now that’s more like it.”

The orc charged, firing its weapon until the click of an empty chamber made it swing its buzzsaw. Cherry rolled out of the way and fixed her minigun to her left arm. “I wonder how many bullets it will take to get to your heart.” She squeezed the trigger and allowed the barrels to whirl for a second before a near steady stream of bullets erupted. She gripped her weapon tightly with both hands, trying her best to control the wild stream of bullets.

The orc tanked the hits, placing its buzzsaw arm in between the bullets and itself. Soon Cherry’s gun hissed, dispelling heat to both sides. She cursed, letting the gun fall off her arm. “You are lucky I don’t have any liquid nitrogen.”

The orc replied with a growl, reloading its weapon in the process.

“So, still think you can kill me?” she asked. The orc’s response was a barrage of rivets. Cherry grinned and grabbed her scythe, slashing most projectiles before they could get near to her. But despite her skill, three bolts managed pass through. One bolt missed its mark, while the other two landed on her chest. The explosions pushed her back a little, and caused her barrier necklace to crack. “You still have to do better than that.”

As if it accepted her challenge, the orc powered up its buzzsaw and swung at her. Cherry jumped back, managing a thin cut on her opponent’s left arm. She ducked the follow-up strike and retaliated with a swipe at the thighs. The blade managed to cut through both armor and flesh, stopping at the bone. She pulled the weapon, cracking the bones as it freed itself.

The orc cried in pain, pointing its arm ar Cherry and firing. She let her instincts dodge as many bolts as possible, but one managed to hit her just below the shoulder. The rivet exploded, sending her arm flying into the air. The stump dripped electricity, exposing a few stray wires. “Do you have any idea how much that arm cost me?” The separated limb stiffened, and the fingers fused into a fine blade.

She stepped aside as a bullet took away her right leg. It took her less than an instant to adjust to the loss of her second limb. She glided toward her former arm, grabbed it by the elbow and yelled: “Here keep this!” and she threw the makeshift javelin. The weapon soared through the air and impaled itself against the orc’s head, turning it into thin air. “I guess that souvenier wasn’t in your budget.”

“Kind of disappointing that you babies couldn’t get any trophies.” Thunder Storm said as he walked toward her. “Looks like I’ve won the challenge.” He threw the disembodied head at her. The force of an ogre’s head was enough to set her off balance, making her land on her backside.

“Think you could help me carry my limbs back to the base?” Cherry asked with a smile and an extended hand. “This battle really cost me an arm and a leg…” they let a second go by before bursting out laughing.

“Sure thing.” Thunder met her hand and lifted her up. “You know, sometimes I believe you actually do this on purpose.” He grabbed her limbs and began trotting back toward the house. “Lightning to Caliban, we need the repair room and blowtorch ready. We’ve got a cripple.”

“You do realize that you probably scared four women right?” Cherry asked, flapping her wings to keep herself from falling. “Don’t you feel bad for them? It’s hurting your chances of scoring.”

“My chances were somewhere below one percent with them, so I thought that I might as well try to give ‘em a taste of our daily routine.” he chuckled. “Those girls should have stepped down when they had a chance.”

.oOo.

Shield eyed his opponent closely, circling around with Riot covering his body. “You sure you don’t
want to call for backup? Most duels tend to end really fast.” The orc merely growled. “Last chance, get buddies or get lost. Once I start I won’t stop until you are a smear in my armor.” This time it chuckled, showing rows of rotten teeth. “Okay, but don’t cry for mommy once I’m strangling you with your intestines.”

“Your insults will do nothing but make your death all the more satisfying.” The orc replied with casual disdain. “I am Omega, and I plan on bringing My Lord seven heads.” The orc spun its axes. “And yours is going to be the one I serve in a golden platter, alone.” With a sickening crunch, the orc pulverized one of its teeth and swallowed. “Now, prepare to face your end.”

“Take a number and wait for your turn rookie.” Shield snapped as he swung Riot. Omega blocked it, striking Shield’s ribs with his other axe. Shield retreated his sword and went for a thrust, but the orc simply dodged out of the way. Two strikes missed their mark as Shield rolled out of the way.

His instincts moved him back, a flurry of axes attempting to slice thin air. He charged once more, this time using his pommel to disorient his target. Following the successful blow he thrusted almost immediately, the sword bounced off the plate armor. Shield dropped it and pulled out his pistols, meeting the axes at every turn. Shield occasionally pulled the triggers, mostly missing as an axe pulled the guns away from their target.

Shield backed up, using his pistols to keep himself just out of range. The orc seemed to be able to predict most bullet paths, swatting them like flies. The few shots that made it through bounced off its armor. “Shit. Guess I’m gonna need a bit more punch for this.” He let Ash get pushed to his left, delivering two successful roundhouse kicks to the orc’s face. He thought he felt the cracking of bone, but a quick glance at his opponent dismissed it.

With a howl of rage the Omega charged, wildly swinging its axes. The few blows that Shield failed to block were immediately absorbed by the barriers. They crackled, visibly dissipating around the commissioner as he ducked under an axe. He fired another barrage, but none of the bullets found their mark.

“This might just be harder than I thought.” Shield murmured as he deflected another strike. He rolled away from the orc and pulled out his falchion. With the same outward swing he pushed an axe back, and then the other one. With a chest begging to have a sword plunged Shield decided to coat his sword in magic and thrust forward. The steel easily cut through the plate armor, earning a shout of pain from the orc.

Shield cartwheeled back, dodging a series of blows. He raised his forearm to stop another blow, delivering two kicks to the flanks. The Omega elbowed Shield, following with two swipes from its axes. Both strikes bounced off the armor, and were met with a sword to the gut. It took a step back and howled in rage. “You will pay for that, swine!”

Shield smirked: “Do you take credit cards? Or cold, hard cash? Hey, think I can get a First Blood discount?” The orc answered with another howl and a charge. Shield teleported himself a meter away with his pistol drawn. “Sorry, despite having its own bank, blood is not an accepted currency.”

The orc approached him and swung its axes together. The blow destroyed his barriers and sent him into the ground. “How you are still alive is beyond me, but I will fix it!” it snarled. With a roar it swung again, driving one axe against his left shoulder and the other one bouncing off his right arm. Shield grimaced, but quickly fired two bullets at its stomach. Once they made contact with the armor, the bolts exploded, sending shrapnel deep into its stomach.

Shield chuckled, holstering Ash and pulling his falchion away. “C’mon, that was just round two.” Shield replied. “Now lets begin round three!”

The orc swung again, letting its axe get stuck in Shield’s crossguard. Shield fired two bolts, none of which managed to hit. Omega swung its spare axe, but it was blocked by Snow. With a kick to Shield’s chest the orc backed away. It sprinted against the commissioner, lowered its head and hugged him by the stomach. “Hey I don’t swing that way!” was all Shield could say before he was slammed into the ground head-first.

The barriers cracked away as Shield freed himself from the grip. He stepped back, raising his falchion to the guarding stance. The orc began with a newfound vigor, swinging wildly from every direction. Shield met most strikes, deflecting half and pushing a few away and ducking under others. The strikes that did make it through were against his chest, letting the dragonscale resist the blows.

One of the attacks managed to graze his left leg, slicing through the tough denim and leaving a thin cut. Shield grimaced again, firing Snow until it hissed. The bullets stuck to the plate armor, glowing faintly. “You do realize that many have tried to kill me don’t you?” Shield asked, Omega nodded. “So what makes you so special?”

“I am destined to be your executioner. The Lord demands your death, and I am his faithful servant.” Omega quickly cleaved a war axe to Shield’s right ear, missing it by a few millimeters. Shield dropped immediately, eyes still open. “I really wanted to leave your head undamaged.” Omega tuned its ears to the high-pitched scream coming from the top of the house. “Amusing that despite who you are there is still someone who cares for your well being.”

Then a thunderous boom filled the quiet sky. The Omega moved its left arm into view, but it couldn’t see it. Instead it saw a stump, charred and smelted. It looked into the distance, and saw a little girl in the distance. “What do we have here?”

“A ten year old girl capable of blasting your arm off from long range.” a voice, gushing with anger, replied from behind it. The orc turned around and saw Shield Heart wiping the blood from his face. “And you really should stop turning your back on opponents.”

“But… I cleaved your head with a hexed axe.” The Omega replied, raising its axe to defend itself. “No one could have survived that…”

“I’m so thick-skulled that I can’t learn how to stay dead.” the blonde replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “Now, how about you tell me about this Lord that wants my head?” He pulled out Snow and blasted the axe away.

“Never! I refuse to betray Him! I would rather suffer a long and painful death!”

“Come on, it’s my birthday! I’m sure your Great Lord of Darkness could understand the codes of birthday etiquette.” The orc looked at him quizzically. “Okay so I just made that up, but come on! I beat you fair and square!”

“You were dead not two seconds ago! It was because of that little bi…” the orc was whipped by the pistol.

“Think about your answer for this: Who wants to kill us Commissioners? Is it Count Pearl Lance? Also, who are your other targets?” Shield pressed the barrel of his gun against the orc’s temple. “I’ll give you a few seconds.”

The orc surprised him with a cackle. “You think that my Lord is interested in your egotistical group of misfits? No. My mission is to kill all six Elements, and you. And even though I have failed today I will return and with an army worthy of invading your precious capital.”

Shield’s earpiece suddenly came to life “Agent Ponyville, this is Caliban, how copy?” It was definitely Crystal’s voice.

“Solid copy Caliban, what have you got for me?”

“Agent Appleoosa just called, they had an assassin pay them a visit. There were no casualties or injuries.”

“Interesting, where’s the rest of the party?”

“Agents Vanhoover, Dodge and Hollow are accounted for. Lightning is helping repair Dodge, and I have all four VIPS here. I’m still looking for Baby Bear.”

“Baby Bear is with me. I’m going to go pay the other VIP a visit, something tells me we should be there by now. Have Hollow give me sniper cover.”

“Copy that Ponyville, I’ll patch you through to Hollow. Anything else?”

“Negative, I’m just mopping up the last dude.” he pulled the trigger and watched as his opponent evaporated from his sight. “So as it turns out I don’t get to take home a trophy.” he turned to look at his sister and yelled. “You got anything for my headache?”

Hawk Eye stopped, pulled out a small syringe from her satchel and opened the rifle’s chamber. with two quick motions she loaded the shot and fired and the commissioner’s neck. Soon, he could feel the migraine melt away as the painkillers kicked in.

His earpiece suddenly burst to life: “Hollow to Papa Bear, how copy?” he spun on his heels and noticed two silhouettes on the balcony.

“Solid copy Hollow, who’s the spotter?”

“VIP M. No, I’m talking about the bloody dog. Of course I’m talking about you!” Moon said, the last two sentences clearly not directed at him.

“Can you see the target?”

“Yep, I’m running thermals now… Fuck, Papa, I can’t get a clear reading. There’s too many signals.. She runs a what?” soon, she descended into an incoherent mess of curses.

“Calm down and focus Hollow. Can you see anything that could help us?”

“Ugh, give me a moment PB I’m running magic scans. Fuck… Shield, there’s someone at the door. Let me try something…” Shield had less than a second to gaze at the bolt of energy that soared from the balcony. It made no sound other than a faint paft . The pellet disintegrated against the wood, leaving barely a dent. “I think I’m gonna need to switch ammo.”

“No shit.” Shield replied. “Actually scratch that, Hawk and I will engage. You just worry about telling me what the hell our friend is doing.”

“You sure, it’ll only take a sec to get the ammo. Also, I’m not liking that head wound you’ve got.”

“You mean this?” he replied casually as he tapped the wound, still fresh from the Omega’s strike. “C’mon, it’s just a scratch.”

“Yeah, right. Last time you said that Bone Saw had to toss you in a kolto tank for a week.”

“You’re never gonna let me live that one down are you?”

“Not until you do something more stupid.”

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Rarity walked up the stairs of Shield’s house, a boxed cake in one hand and Sweetie Belle’s hand in the other. For the last couple of days, Sweetie had become friends with Shield’s sister: Hawk Eye. And Rarity was proud of her sister. She had taken the time to become friends with the new girl in town.

She rapped the front door and turned to her sister: “So, what are you going to do with Hawk today? Visit the arcade for your gaming cutie mark? Or will you be trying to beat the last level on that arcade game?”

Her sister just shrugs. “I don’t know. Scootaloo says we would make her a Cutie Mark Crusader, but Applebloom says that we should first see if she’s crusader material. Maybe we’ll just hang out.”

The door opened and revealed Hawk Eye, wearing jeans and a green shirt, rubbing her right eye. “Hey Bells, what brings you here?”

“Rarity baked a cake for Shield, and I wanted to see if you wanted to come to our clubhouse.”

“Oh,uh. I don’t know.” Hawk Eye sighed. “Good morning Miss Rarity.” she bowed, “if you want you can give him the cake personally.”

“Oh, he’s awake?” the seamstress asked.

“Eh, kinda.” the girl turned her head and hollered: “Shield! Get off your lazy backside and come say hi to your visit!”

“But I’m in my birthday suit!” came the reply. “Are you sure the visit won’t mind?”

Rarity was about to speak, but she never had the chance. “Doubt it, it’s Rarity.”

Before Rarity could turn away and run she heard a large thud, no doubt from Shield carelessly dropping from the upper floor, and muffled steps toward the door.

“Oh hey Rares, what brings you here so early?” he said as he opened the door. Rarity covered her sister’s eyes and tried to turn away, until she caught glimpses of silver. She turned back and saw that when they said the word suit, they didn’t mean what her mind was thinking.

The soldier was wearing a silver silk suit complete with matching tie and white shirt. Or at least, an emulation of one. His clothes were wrinkled from sleep, and too thin to be made for any other occasion. His feet were dressed in plush moccasins, a perfect match for sleepwear of such class.

“I just came to drop this off and see if our sisters were going to do anything. Also, Fluttershy said she will not be coming. She is having a rather busy day.”

“Oh, okay then. Thank you very much” he said, straightening his blazer. “Should I expect more gifts through the course of this day?”

“Perhaps,” she said coyly, “may I ask you something?”

“What is it with the misleading name of my apparel?”

“Um, no. Though that is a good question.”

“Well then, in order to answer a question you never asked.” he replied. “It was this little devil’s idea.” he tousled his sister’s blond hair. “She gave it to me on my birthday a couple of years ago and it just named itself.”

“But where did you get it?”

“I,” intervened Hawk, but stopped. She placed a thumb on her lips and stared at the ground. “I have no clue. I was hyped up on ice cream when Crystal and I went shopping.”

“Well that’s too bad, I never thought you could turn eveningwear into nightwear.”

“Yeah, it’s not every day that you see someone rocking the suitjamas like my brother.” Hawk Eye said with a grin, elbowing Shield.

“That is true.”

“So, you want to come in? Or do you have stuff to do before tonight?” Shield asked, unable to hide his red face

“I would love to, but I have already skipped too many days and my orders are beginning to back up.”

“Okay then, don’t let me stop you. The party will officially start at five, but there’s no actual time to get here.”

“I will keep it in mind.” and after handing him the box, she left.

“So, wanna come in?” Hawk asked her friend.

“Nah, I gotta go back to our clubhouse, Scootaloo and Applebloom are waiting for me. Wanna come?”

Hawk Eye eyed her brother and walked back inside. “Sorry, I gotta help out with the party. It’s kinda my job to check the snacks.”

“Oh

.oOo.

Eight hours later, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash arrived. “So what d´ya think this party´s gonna be like?” Rainbow asked.

“I imagine it is bound to be a simple affair, some snacks, some music and probably some games.” Rarity answered.

As they ascended the porch the door immediately swung open, revealing five hardened soldiers clutching video game controllers. The screen, a projector covering the fireplace and about two stories tall, was showing a fighting game where all five were playing. Out the five characters, a red man was slammed off stage, releasing a splash of red light.

“You fucking backstabber! We agreed to a truce and you steamrolled my ass the second we kicked Thunder out!” Shield bellowed, slamming the control to the pillow cushion.

“I said the truce was until we took down Thunder, and we got him.” Moondancer chuckled as she pulled a plate of chips from him.

“And I tanked most of the damage!” he replied, taking a sip from his tankard. “You planned this didn’t you?”

“Of course! I can’t take you out, so I just had to let someone else do the dirty work.”

As Shield rose, his face red and fists clenched, Crystal coughed loudly. He turned to face the door and saw his new guests. “Oh, hello there! I didn’t see you.” he scratched the back of his right ear. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Just after you got knocked off stage.” Rarity replied.

“Crap…” he murmured. “So, make yourselves at home.” Passing behind him was Pinkie with two pints of cider, handing one to Rainbow. “When did you…”

“Right before you said make ‘yourselves at home’”

“How did you find the…”

“The pints? They were behind the pans, left to the pots and under the mortar.” replied Pinkie, “Just like anywhere else, duh.”

“Wait, was it combat mortar or cooking mortar?”

“Cooking mortar, the other one’s in the pantry.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said: Cooking mortar, the other one’s in the pantry.”

“I know what you said, but it still doesn’t make sense.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t make sense.” Pinkie retorter. “I wasn’t the one that asked if I left a mortar in the kitchen.”

Shield inhaled, his mouth ready to spit an argument. He exhaled. “I’m too sober to debate.”

.oOo.

A couple of minutes later Hawk Eye walked over to Twilight, an extra plastic controller on her, and she extended it toward her. “Wanna join in on the chaos?” she asked with a smile. “We’re about to start the 8-way Melee, no alliances allowed.”

“I don’t know, I’m not that good with video games.” Twilight answered as she turned around, trying to avoid looking at the controller. “And anyways, Rainbow and Pinkie are already filling up the two spare places.”

“Hey! I got an idea! VAnhoover versus Ponyville, four-man teams, six lives, End of the Line Stage! Loser team has to down half a keg. You girls in?” Shield shouted. “Or would you rather wuss out?”

“You’re on!” Rainbow shouted in reply. “C’mon Twil! We’re gonna teach these guys what happens when they mess with us!”

“I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry about sucking, you can be one of our meat shields!” Pinkie replied with a devilish grin. “That way Rainbow and I can take care of the rest and not have to worry about getting killed! And if we die before you we’ll just take your controllers and play for you.”

And so with the teams set; on one side it was Fire, Thunder, Shield and Crystal and on the other it was Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity and Twilight. Team Vanhoover quickly chose their fighters, all of them were an anthropomorphic wolf in sci-fi gear. Rainbow chose the female bounty hunter, Pinkie chose the fitness trainer and Rarity decided to play as a princess. “Ohh, pick Leeroy the spiky turtle!” “ Pinkie said to her hear. “He’s great for soaking up damage.”

The stage was soon chosen, a simple plain, and Shield immediately shouted: “Everyone! Attack pattern Feline Uber Carrot Kilo Zero Zero Feline!” The bell rang and the characters deployed. The pack of anthros bundled on one side kicking away anyone that dared remain. Once side by side they fired their blasters. At first Twilight didn’t see the logic, there was no flinching on their characters so they could still approach them. Twilight soon realized that her character was sluggish when compared to others.

The wolves soon flashed across the screen, and appeared right behind Twilight and sending her into the air. Shield jumped and kicked her up, followed by Fire slamming her to the side and knocking her off stage. And that pattern was repeated for her next three lives.

Just as Twilight was about to receive the last attack that would end her cooperation, until the speakers began sounding off an alarm and the screen turned red with a black stencil reading: CODE RED.

Shield swore under his breath and dropped his controller. Hawk was right behind him, holding out a tablet. He took it without a word, tapped a few things and silenced the sirens.

“Alright everyone listen up! The totems detected a large mass of humanoids headed here. By the metrics its estimated to be over a hundred and will get here less than half an hour. Rainbow Dash, I need you to perform basic recon. Just fly there and get a quick look. If you see or hear so much as a firework I want you to get back. Legionnaires, we’re gonna go to the basement for Battle Meditation and some boomsticks.”

.oOo.

Fifteen minutes later and the house was quiet once more. Shield Heart was armed with his birthday rifle, Riot, a falchion, Ash, Snow and his bracers. He was wearing his dragonscale vest, grey fatigues and his crimson duster, black boots and red greaves.

Count Fire Storm was holding a spear on his left hand, a stockless semi-automatic shotgun holstered to his waist and a pair of thick steel bracers around his arms. He was wearing a blue tunic with matching trousers, with a white kevlar vest and matching shoulder pads to cover his torso.

Moondancer held a black battle rifle on her arms, her silver rapier was holstered on her belt. Besides her dark blue cloak she wore little in the way of protection. She had a flak vest, flak greaves and a pair of high-heeled boots.

Count Thunder Storm was the bulkiest of the bunch, despite wearing the least amount of armor. He was wearing his wifebeater-jeans combo. Strapped to his back was both Blasto and his own grenade launcher. His chest had several canisters tied to his suspenders and his belt was lined with beer cans. His crotch had an unnatural bulge, but no one present dared asked why. His battleaxe was tied behind his hip, his hand cannons holstered to his thighs.

Cherry was dressed in an armored frilly black dress. Her scythe was tied to her back, a six-barreled minigun on her left arm.

Rainbow Dash opened the door from the backyard in between pants. Her clothing showed slight scorch marks and her polychromatic had was shorter than before.

Crystal brought her a glass of water, while Shield gripped his falchion. "So," he asked "what are we up against."

"I think they're orcs," Rainbow answered I between breaths. "But there were so many of them. I thought I was gonna die."

"I take it that they have guns." she nodded in reply. "Commissioners, to your basements."

The Commissioners left for the basement for five minutes, later appearing with guns drawn. Shield jumped up the stairs and took a deep breath: “All right boys and girls, today we have been graced by Ysmir with a battle. And not just any battle,we're gonna fight orcs. That means that this night we will kick a thousand asses back toward hell. And we will not rest until their heads rest on my front lawn. Now, I challenge Thunder to the Keg Kombat Challenge!”

“You misspelled combat.” Pinkie said, lowering her raised hand.

Shield paused for a second, mouth ready for a comeback, but he dismissed the idea.

“I accept the challenge!” Thunder replied, beating his chest with his fist. “You just watch, I’ll get more kills than all of you combined!”

“Then let’s meet our foe. Commissioners outside!” Shield cried, thrusting his arm toward the back door. The group marched, Cherry’s boots making the most noise as they tried to break the wooden tiles.

Twilight tried to follow, but Crystal's hand stopped her. "We're not going to be on the field."

"But this is my chance to show everyone that I can fight!"

"If you go there you'll only get in their way. If we go to the balcony you can snipe as many as you want and be safe." Crystal went for the basement and carried three guns, one in each hand and another one slung to her back. She tossed one at Rarity and another one at Twilight. “C’mon, we don’t have much time.”

“You know how to shoot?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, just like most Vanhoover citizens.” they ran up the stairs, and turned left. Two doors after Shield’s room they came to the glass sliding doors. They were soon behind the steel barricades behind the metal fences. “Ever heard of the citizen-soldier principle?”

“Hey! What about us? Rainbow Dash asked “Are we supposed to just sit here and scratch our heads?”

With a disgruntled sigh Crystal handed her a card. “If you wanna do something go get a rifle as soon as you can.”

.oOo.

The air outside was cool, brought by the constant gusts of wind emitted by the Everfree Forest. There was also an eerie silence about the forest, not even the crickets sang this night.

“Ready,” Shield roared, and the commissioners drew their weapons. From the forest emerged a green tide, seemingly endless, carrying a large assortment of weapons. The tide continued to move, and stopped when a large bulk materialized.

The monster was about three meters tall and Powerfully built. Every single muscle appeared to be seconds away from bursting. The jaw, large, squared, metallic and with a massive underbite, had a large collection gold-plated teeth. The figure was clad in a simple grey tunic, and matching trousers ripped from several directions. It wore the skull of a manticore on its right shoulder, a necklace made of teeth from every creature imaginable, a belt of skulls and a black pirate hat.

The left arm was not green or muscular. Instead it was a large block, about three times as thick as his arm should be, connected by cables held together by duct tape and chewed gum. It had three large blades coated in lightning, Two on the top and one on the bottom. The back of its right hand had a large block of rusted iron screwed in place with two barrels sticking out from one end.

“I’s Cap’n Killteef, an’ I’s gonna make this town my own.” The monster bellowed. “If ya want ya can gimme a good fight!” The army of orcs, dwarfed by the size of this ogre, chanted triumphantly. “Who’s yer Warboss?”

Shield Heart stepped forward and placed a finger on his throat. With a deep breath he channeled his magic. “I am Shield Heart, Commissioner of Equestria, Legionnaire and the bane of Warlord Skull Busta and his clan. I will give you one chance to stand down. Know that you will fight five legionnaires, experts in dealing with pests like you.”

Above and behind the Commissioners “Are you sure that he’s gonna surrender?” Twilight whispered to Crystal. “I thought ogres love killing people.”

“Exactly.” Crystal whispered back, tightening her grip on her rifle. “They also like to fight for glory and extremely easy to anger.”

“So his plan is to enrage a monster that gets stronger the angrier it gets?”

“Technically ogres get stronger by fighting. But yeah, that’s the plan.”

“He’s gonna get himself killed.”

“Good thing Bone Saw came to the hospital before we got here, or he’d be in trouble.”

“I don’t remember a doctor named Bone Saw.”

Crystal shook her head as if she were suddenly waking up. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I don’t remember Shield seeing a doctor called Bone Saw.”

“Then we should make sure Shield doesn’t get killed.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna be impossible.” Rainbow Dash snarked.

“Wait, if they are fighting ogres, shouldn’t they be wearing gas masks?” Rarity asked. “Shield told me that they release dangerous spores.”

“There’s just one ogre, so as long as they burn it to death they won’t have to worry about it.” Crystal answered as she looked through her scope.

“Are orc hordes usually this big?” Twilight asked.

“No. The last horde that they fought was supposed to be the remains of the fifth Canterlot battalion. Where did this ogre make so many of them?”

“Make? Ogres are supposed to be fungal, technically they can’t make more unless they die.” Twilight responded.

“Orcs aren’t the same as ogres. Whenever a person inhales a spore one of two things happen: if they’re weak they’ll explode. If they’re strong, then they’ll enter into a coma and wait for the spore to take control and turn his skin green.”

“So you’re saying that…”

“When we kill one of those we’re in fact putting them out of their misery? Yes, that’s why Shield loves killing them. As far as we care, it’s mercy killing.”

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other with worried looks. “So we’re just gonna stay up here?” Rainbow asked as she fiddled with the dial on her Parasprite SMG.

“Yeah, our job is to take care of the ones that manage to make it through them.”

“So we’ve got the most boring job of all?”

“And the safest. Last thing we need is having to tell Canterlot that you died in a skirmish. Trust me, you want to be here.”

.oOo.

The ogre chuckled. “Yous da Bloody ‘eart? Dis gonn’ be a good fight!” it raised its arm. “Boys, kill everyone but da red runt, ‘e’s mine.” The ogre turned to face Shield: “ I’s gonna git ‘is teeth an’ use his skull fo’ a groin guard.” And the green tide rushed toward Ponyville, making Caliban their first stop.

“Now this is what I call a birthday party!” Shield said as he raised his sword. “Let’s show these green beans how we do it downtown!” His friends roared in excitement, letting loose salvos from their weapons.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Shield drew Ash and Snow, letting his fingers toy with the triggers. He could see the back door to Fluttershy’s house, wide open and letting some critters loose. A white rabbit darted past them, and then a pair of cardinals almost slammed themselves against the heroes. “So what else did you take from the armory?” he whispered to his sister.

She simply removed her leather satchel and handed it. He holstered his weapons and pulled out a pair of steel spheres with a button on the top. He pocketed them and handed the bag back to her.

“So remind me why I’m here?” she whispered in return.

“You’re the one to get the beautiful lady out of the tower before she gets brutally murdered.” he replied, taking a quick peek inside.

“And then I get to help you out with the bad guy?” she asked, almost letting her excitement raise her voice.

“Nope, you get to run as fast as possible and hope that I have a good fight because if I don’t you’ll be grounded for a month for disobeying my orders!” he answered, his imitation of a smile letting show his displeasure. Hawk simply lost her enthusiasm. “Now get ready, we are breaching in two, one…” he entered with pistols at the ready, scanning his surroundings. The interior appeared to have bit hit by either a tornado or an earthquake.

Bird seed was all over the floor, mixed with other sorts of food pellets. The couch and shelves were partially coated by fur and feathers, alongside blankets and animal toys. Shield began walking up the stairs when his earpiece buzzed. He tapped it and listened: “PB, you might want to hurry up. Our killer is almost at the bedroom. Are you sure you don’t want me to take her out? I’ve got the AP stun rounds, and it’ll be cleaner.”

“Hold your fire, this assassin is mine. Hawk Eye will escort the VIP out of the house.”

“You sure about that?”

“Affirmative, I’m gonna see what our friend has to say. Am I dealing with an enchantment or spell?”

“Enchantment.”

“Okay, prepare for entry.” Shield pressed the buttons on the steel grenades and tossed them at what he hoped was the bedroom. “Hope you got your earplugs.” the floor above exploded in a flash of light, releasing a discombobulating noise that made Shield’s ears ring. With pistols drawn he jumped onto the rail and lifted himself up.

He gazed at the target room and saw the assassin, a curvy body wearing a skin-tight leather outfit with so many colors Shield had to question if this woman was an assassin. The torso was pitch black, while her legs were covered in a Lemon yellow and aqua plaid pattern. She wore a set of blach pouches on her belt, two knife scabbards on her back and a pistol holstered to each of her thighs. A simple silver rose, with a smiling skull on the center, decorated her left breast.

Her face was concieled by a ceramic mask modeled after a frowning face but split down the middle. One half was onyx, with the eyesocket covered in a turquoise haze while the other side was ceramic and with no other markings.

Shield gazed at the result of his flashbang and his magic-cancelling grenade combo. The assassin was disoriented, having dropped both curved knives as her hands reached for her ears. The VIP was rubbing her head, no doubt unaware of what was going on. Shield took the chance to fire a pellet at the criminal, hitting her on the shoulder.

She rolled away from the bed pulling out a small pistol from the back of her hip. The assassin fired three times, two bullets embedded themselves on the doorway while the third missed Shield by a good length. Shield darted past the doorway and attempted a point-blank shot with Ash. The assassin pushed the gun to her left, leaving Shield wide open for a palm strike. But Shield pushed the hand away with Snow, leaving the white barrel in range of her head.

The assassin crouched, under the barrel and swept her right leg. Shield kicked it away, turning his back on her. He weakly smiled at Fluttershy before delivering a donkey kick and turning his eyes back on the killer. The assassin was now on her feet, her hands in a defensive position with open hands. Shield accepted her silent challenge, raising his fists and engaging the steel bracers.

“You sure you wanna dance?” he asked with a sly grin. His opponent responded by delivering a high roundhouse kick to his right. He blocked it, quickly lowering his arm to catch the lower follow-up kick aimed at his hip with his wrist. Using the two second opening to his advantage he took a step forward and delivered an uppercut. She dodged the blow and grabbed one of her knives.

“I only dance with real men.” she replied. Her voice, although apparently artificial, oozed with a special kind of cold smugness that Shield had rarely seen in his life. “Although you are welcome to try.” Shield drew his sword, using the movement to strike with the pommel. She reacehd for her nearest pouch and threw a small pellet at him, which on impact created a cloud of denses smoke. Shield cut the air as the masked killer jumped past him and grabbed her other knife.

“Woman, you have no idea who you’re dealing with.” he replied, stabbing forward as the assassin twirled out of the way. He cut diagonally to his left, but his blade was met by both daggers held upside down. She pushed them back and plunged through. Shield was forced to hop aside to let the blades cut thin air. “And neither do I.”

.oOo.

As her brother and the killer danced with their blades, each trying to gain any sort of advantage over the other, Hawk Eye scurried through the doorway and grabbed Fluttershy by the hand. “Come on! We have to get out of here!” she yelled as she grabbed the VIP’s hand, but that woman seemed a little slow to move. “Do you want to die here?”

“What is going on here?” Fluttershy asked, blinking hard as she tried to unblock her ears. “I just heard a loud bang and all of a sudden I see this.”

“Okay, I’ll give you the super-short version: that black woman is trying to kill you and my brother is trying to save you. Now, come with me if you want to not die.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy responded. “But first I need to find Angel.”

“Angels is what you’ll find if we don’t get the hell out of here.” Hawk snapped back as she pulled at her arm. “What part of: you are in deep trouble don’t you want to understand?”

“I can’t just leave him behind!”

“He’s probably dead, get over it!” Hawk exclaimed as she continued pulling. “There was nothing alive when we entered, just a bunch of animals getting out of here.”

“Did you happen to see a bunny?”

“Yeah, it ran away before we got to the door, now get moving!” the youth said as she pulled out her staff. Fluttershy didn’t even wait for the stick to touch her. She threw the covers away to reveal her pink nightgown and grabbed a robe from a nearby chair. She donned it as she walked down the stairs and headed for the door. They heard a window crash from upstairs. “C’mon, we’re almost out…” Hawk stopped as she saw the assassin standing right on the doorway.

The mysterious woman grabbed a pair of small knifes and tossed them at both Fluttershy and Hawk Eye. As the Element of Kindness ducked to avoid death Shield’s sister merely swung her staff, knoocking them out from the air. “Crap.” she muttered.

“Hawk, I lost the target, watch out for the killer.” Shield yelled from on high, his boots shaking the wooden stairs as he rushed down. He took a brief glance at his sister and at Edgar’s caretaker and quickly looked at the door. “Well shit.” he cursed, pulling out Snow with his left hand. “Get behind me!” Shield fired three shots, none of which met the blurry mark. But instead of him meeting the edges of the blades, it was Hawk Eye who was resisting the attacks.

With speed betraying her age, Hawk Eye quickly ducked the assassin’s first attack and retaliated with a swipe kick. Seeing her opponent cartwheel back Hawk tried to give chase, but a hand from her brother made her stop. “Go home, I’ll deal with her.” the girl stared at him with curiosity, and with a nod she stepped back.

With sword at the ready Shield stepped forward. “You can’t beat me clown, I’ve fought real killers of every size and shape.” he said, easing his left grip on Snow. “So tell me who hired you and I’ll let you live.”

The mask turned to look at Fluttershy then back at the commissioner. “Know this Commissioner: I, Calleda of the Last Kiss, will be back for her life. And there is no power in this world will stop me from taking her life.” a moment later they heard a loud boom, a trail of blue energy erupted from somewhere and approached the assassin. But the bullet missed its mark, Calleda stepped behind the trail and pulled out a handful of pellets. Before a second bullet could claim her life the assassin tossed slammed the pellets to the ground, producing a cloud of white smoke. An instant later the smoke dissipated and left no clues as to where Calleda could be.

“Well that was disappointing.” Shield mutterd as sheatehed his sword. “Hollow, did you see where she went?” he asked his earpiece.

“Negative. That bitch teleported away with the smoke.”

Shield cursed under his breath. “Fine, Let me see if VIP K wants to go home. How’s Dodge?”

“She’s gonna need to replace her arm, that cyborc really did a number on her.”

“So basically a tuesday?”

“No, more like a thursday. The leg is also bugging out. We’re doing our best to patch it up but we should think about getting replacements as fast as possible.”

“You know what? I’m clocking out, I’ll deal with all this crap tomorrow after twelve hours of sleep. G’night!”