This Giftby GarnotChaptersChapter One (Redux)Chapter Two (Redux)Chapter Three (Redux)Original Version (Read ONLY after reading the redux chapters)Chapter One (Redux)Everywhere I turned, I met a world of white that started nowhere and led nowhere. I can’t feel my claws… I can’t even breathe flames… I tried to call out in the hopes that somepony would help me, but the sounds I managed to croak were swallowed by the roaring winds. Snow and hail buffeted and tore at my scales, numbing me to the very bone. Yet, no matter what pain the elements inflicted on me, they couldn’t compare to the one that was slowly unraveling me from the core out: the pain in my heart. I… can’t go on… I collapsed onto the snow and curled my body to try and keep some of my warmth. The only thing that gave me any body heat was the orange scarf wrapped around my neck. I pushed through the numbness in my claws and wrapped them around the scarf. Its warmth seeped through my scales, reminding me of Twilight's warm coat and the way it had felt back when she used to wrap me in her embrace. For a moment, I could even hear the sound of her voice calling to me from far away. Then I remembered her broken promise. Tears filled my eyes as all the warmth from the happy memories were blown away by the icy winds, replaced by only by the bitter chill that tore through my muscles and gripped my heart. Though the wind continued to howl, those words were all I could hear. “We were home. You said you didn’t need me anymore. Y-you were sending me away…” “A fear that will never come to pass. I’m never going to send you away.” How could she lie to me? * * * This Gift A few minutes earlier… “Spike, where are the books I asked you to reshelve?” Twilight shouted across the room. She was lying on her old ‘reading cushion,’ surrounded by rolled up scrolls. All the windows were closed shut, and the door… I swear, that door looked more and more sinister with every passing day. “Got them right here,” I shouted back. I took a deep breath and started climbing up the basement stairs, heading for the library’s main floor. I did my best to balance the stack of books in my claws. I grunted, shifting the weight of the books on my arms. Kind of forgot how much stuff we actually had in stock. I could carry a lot now that I was as tall as Twilight, but a stack that nearly reached the ceiling was pushing it. Everything from archaic encyclopedias to Daring Do novels. I put the stack down next to the empty bookshelf and turned to face Twilight. “Alright, got the books here,” I said. She was still busy reading dozens of letters, all marked with the Royal Equestrian Principality insignia. “Are you going to help me sort these books?” I grabbed one of the Daring Do novels from the top of the pile and smiled at Twi. “You know, for old time’s sake?” Twi didn’t reply. She only chanced a glance before going back to her letters. “Guess not.” I turned to the shelf and sighed. Every day, Twilight worried more and more about her royal duties than the library. I couldn’t really blame her, though. It was her way of coping with all that had happened in the last six years. I narrowed my eyes. Can’t she at least be more open about it though? “Twilight,” I started, well aware that she was not paying me much mind, “do you… ever miss the others?” As expected, no reply. I started to stroke the orange scarf around my neck. “I don't know about you, but I sure do. Ever since they all started moving away, things just haven't been the same.” I sighed. “Only one left now is Fluttershy, yet you barely talk to her.” “Maybe you should worry less about the past, and more about the present,” Twilight said. I turned to face her, only to meet her glare. “At least I remember them!” I diverted my gaze away from her. “Spike, I miss them too, but standing around reminiscing about the old days isn’t productive.” I turned back to face Twi. That’s when I noticed her eyes soften for a fraction of a second before she turned back to her letters. I again grabbed on to the scarf tied around my neck and caressed it. I wanted to say something, but in the end, I couldn’t find the words. It hadn’t been too long ago since Twilight had made me the scarf. I turned to the pile of books and focused, calling forth a surge of energy that ran through my body. The books turned weightless as I wrapped them in a telekinetic field. A neat trick I had learned from Celestia—or, as she preferred I call her nowadays, ‘Mom.’ I started putting each book into the shelf by category and alphabetical order. My mind often wandered during this task. As my luck would have it, it wandered into the one thought I had been trying to avoid all day. For as long as I could remember, the idea of growing up had terrified me. Part of the reason had to do with my greed incident seven years ago. I couldn’t remember everything, but I still had nightmares about that day. Normally, every youth dreamed of the day he or she grew up. For ponies, the road to maturity started when their cutie marks were discovered, showing them what their place in society would be. After that, they fell in love and had foals. But I wasn’t a pony. I had no set “destiny” to guide me through my life, and I certainly had no pony to love. The one mare I had loved above all others had not only rejected me, but had moved on without me. I didn’t think there was anypony else I could love like I had loved her. Well, except for… I shook my head. She can’t ever love me. Maybe once upon a time, but that ship had sailed long ago—especially now that I was nearly eighteen by pony standards.I had no idea how long I had until I got too large and violent to live among ponies. As I chanced a glance back to Twi, I wondered if the same thought had crossed her mind as well. Was that the reason she was being so distant with me? I turned back just in time to see the next book to be up for reshelving. The Crystal Empire Chronicles. I cringed. How had that book found its way into the pile? I didn’t remember picking it up. I tried to ignore it as best as I could. Put the book down, Spike. Put it down before it makes you remember. It was no use. The memories flooded back in. *** *** *** “Monstrous dragon!” Twilight shouted, horn flashing as she charged her magic. With a steely gaze and bared teeth, she pointed her hoof at me. “Get out of my sight, you filthy beast!” She slammed her hoof on the floor. “I swear by Celestia, if you do not leave my sight, I will destroy you!” Bitter tears poured out of my eyes as I desperately tried to understand why Twilight would turn so cold and hateful towards me. “What have I done to make you hate me so much!?” I shouted, only for my words to be lost to the cacophony of thunder and rain. “Did you ever really believe that you were anything more than a tool!?” Twilight snarled, using her magic to shove me away. “I never loved you! You’re just a thing that’s outlived its usefulness.” The words stabbed at me like a knife, forcing the very air from my lungs. Yet it was the next phrase that truly shattered everything I had ever known, everything I had ever cared about: “I never loved you, you monster. Leave and never come back!” *** *** *** I shook the memory off, forcing my eyes shut to fight back the overwhelming desire to cry. I put the book on the shelf and kept working. When I had only a few books left, I found one I had not expected. It was an old romance novel, one that had been Rarity’s favorite. At the realization, I feel another pang of agony stab at my chest. I finished re-shelving the books as swiftly as I could. “T-there, Twilight. I’m d-done.” Twilight looked up from her letter and inspected the shelf. She said nothing, only nodding in approval. I rushed for the library’s basement, passing through stairs that reminded me more of Sombra’s castle stairs with every passing day. Part of the basement had been turned into my personal quarters as soon as I had outgrown my basket bed. As soon as I stepped inside my room, I tossed myself on my bed face-down and let the tears flow. I… I don’t want to remember her… please, Cele—Mother… don’t make me remember her! Once upon a time, Rarity had been, in my opinion, the single most beautiful mare I had ever laid eyes on. Her flawless coat, eyes that shone like gemstones, and lips that glistened like radiant crystals: all features that had made her the one mare I swore to seek to the ends of the earth. As the years passed, Rarity and I grew apart. One day, she came bursting into Sugarcube Corner, raving about how she had found the stallion of her dreams. Less than a year after moving to Manehattan, she had wed her sweetheart. On her wedding day, I told her how I really felt. “Oh Spikey-wikey… your affection really was the only thing that got me through some rather tough times, and I will never forget that. But darling, in the end, you were always just a dear friend to me, nothing more. I-I’m sorry if you feel like I led you on and betrayed your affection. It was my fault for not stopping it before it got out of hoof. If you hate me… I completely understand and accept it. Just know that one day, you’ll find the one that will make you happy. Don’t ever forget that, even if you do forget about me.” How could I hate Rarity for being there for me? After the wedding, I withdrew myself. I did everything I could to change who I was—what I was. I went so far as to beg Celestia to change me into a pony. “My son, I could change you into whatever you want to be. I could even give you the power of a prince if it meant seeing you happy. But doing so would only be imposing a lie on you. If you can’t be happy with who you are, then you’ll never truly be happy, no matter what shape you choose to take.” “But what if I never find somepony to love me? What if I’m forever cursed to be alone just because of who I am?” “My son, you are young. You’ve many years ahead of you. One day, you will find that special someone that will love you for who you are deep down. Love comes from the most unexpected of places. Just have faith that it will find you.” I knew Mom was right, but her words had done little to ease my woes. In the end, I resigned myself to despair. I watched the world go on without me. It was only when Twilight once again promised to never leave me that I worked through the pain. Six years later, she wouldn’t even turn to look at me. I sat on my bed and wiped the tears. Where had I gone wrong? Had I not been the best assistant a princess could ask for? I gazed at my room’s ceiling. Tell me, Twi. Have I ever failed you? I stood and walked to my own bookshelf. My old comic books and a couple of light novels were still there. One book stood out in particular: The Tale of Sir Bulwark. I grabbed the beat-up tome, the corners of my mouth rising. Once upon a time, this had been one of my favorite stories to hear at bedtime. It brought back many fond memories. Twilight’s favorite game growing up had been to pretend she was a princess trapped by a vicious dragon. Her brother, Shining Armor, took the role of the brave knight. That left me as the only one to fill the role of dragon. The dynamic changed when Shining Armor left for the Guard Academy. I graduated to the role of knight, and Smarty Pants took the role of the dragon. The day of my ‘promotion,’ I decided to commemorate the occasion with a silver-painted suit of cardboard armor. I had been a bit nervous, seeing as I had always played the villain, but once I had gotten into the rhythm of things, I turned into the perfect ‘gentledragon.’ My brow scrunched as I recalled how a group of four bullies—jealous of Twilight’s role as the princess’s protégée—had terrorized her. Without hesitation, I had charged them, not caring about potential injuries. In the end, even the bruises had been worth hearing Twilight thank me for my services as the four bullies ran away crying. She had then rewarded her brave silver knight with a kiss on the cheek. Back then, it’d been little more than a simple peck. As I rubbed my cheek, I started to realize it had been more than that. I should have known things were not that simple. The feelings had started to build soon after Rarity’s wedding. I had chalked it to growth, but I started to see Twilight as the one mare that could love me for what I was. I had said nothing at first, afraid of having my heart torn out once again. I had only just realized that keeping quiet had allowed the rift between me and Twi to form. I raced out of my room and up the stairs. I entered into the Library’s main room and found Twilight, still looking over the letters, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate. Twilight continued to read and reply to the letters until she finally noticed me almost half a minute later. As soon as she did, she sat up straight, her expression never changing. “Spike, there is something we have to talk about,” she started. Her tone was still distant, almost as cold as the blizzard raging on the other side of the library walls. I considered going back to my room and staying there. Then I remembered my own thoughts, why I had rushed up here in the first place. I knew there was no turning back now. I swallowed a lump in my throat. “Let me say something that’s been bothering me for some time first.” Even though the emotions swirled in me like a hive of angry hornets, I knew I had to speak. With a resolute exhalation, I steeled myself for what was to come. One final stand against all I fear. One final cry of truth—then I can be at peace. I walked up to Twilight and embraced her as fondly as I could. She was caught by surprise, so much so that she spilled her cocoa. I took in the softness of Twi’s coat and the warmth of her body. My will all but set, I locked eyes with her. Before she could even say a word about my hug, I uttered a sentence that I had said many times in the past. It carried the weight of my hopes and dreams in every single letter. “Twilight… I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will!” I finished my words by planting a deep kiss on Twi’s lips. As I parted, I took in Twilight’s gaze. Eyes wide in shock, corners of her lips pointing down. Without warning, she pushed me aside and stood up. She gazed deep into my eyes, her expression never changing. She closed her eyes and turned away from me. “What’s wrong?” ‘I-I’m s-sorry, Spike.” “Please, Twi…” I started, already feeling chills run up my spine. “Please… just-just leave… leave me alone.” “W-what are you saying?” “L-leave… me alone…” “Wha….wha?” Twilight flinched at my voice, almost as if my words hurt her. “I-I’m sorry, Spike… I’ve no need of your services… P-please just… go.” I felt my eyes moisten as a cold numbness spread across my being. The dark vision that had tormented me for years had come to pass, and I had been its catalyst. I smiled, if nothing else, to show Twilight that I had gracefully accepted her answer. No, Spike… don’t let Twilight see you crying… Show strength… because deep down… you knew this is how it would end. Be strong. Be strong… After all, Twilight was a pony, and I was a dragon. Why would she love me? Without a word, I turned and headed for the library’s door. I reached out for the handle, but stopped. Don’t let her see you crying… I turned back to face Twilight one last time. She was still facing away from me like a statue. With a bitter chuckle, I finally accepted my fate. “Sorry it ended like this. It was an honor to have been your assistant.” I turned, facing the blizzard raging outside. “So long, Princess Twilight.” I carefully closed the door behind me, claw reluctant to let go of what had been my home for almost eight years. Deep down, I knew there was no turning back. I headed into the white nothingness, unsure as to where to go next. I considered heading to Canterlot and letting Mom know what happened. But a part of me didn’t want that; the truth was that I didn’t really care. I closed my eyes and let my feet carry me to whatever fate had in store for me. After what felt like hours of walking, I finally stopped. At last, now that I was as far as I could get from the library, I allowed the tears I had been bottling up to swell out. I gazed upward, watching the sky darken through teary eyes. My scales grew numb to the rising blizzard. Chapter Two (Redux)I stood in stunned silence, my thoughts muddling together into an incomprehensible din. Before I could ponder Spike’s words, I heard the front door to the library open, the roar of the blizzard filling my ears. Spike, no... I didn’t mean it. I heard Spike’s bitter chuckle, his footfalls echoing away from me. Please. I’m sorry. I don’t what to say! I don’t know what to do! The door creaked shut. The wind stopped. Come back, Spike. I… Please, come back. My mind continued to swirl chaotically as thousands of different thoughts threatened to drive me insane. I turned to face the door, but could not move my hooves. The din in my mind intensified as dozens of rotating voices lashed at me. What a creep! Love a dragon? That’s illogical! How could I ever love him? He’s your best friend. He’s always been your best friend! A princess and her assistant were never meant to be together! A shiver ran up my spine as I tried to make sense of the voices. I should have seen the signs. The two of us had been inseparable growing up, and had been through so much together over the years. I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “Oh Celestia, what am I thinking!?” I knelt back down on my cushion and tried the breathing exercise that Cadence had taught me so long ago. After a minute, I took a deep inhale and held it. After slowly exhaling, I looked back at the door. “I-I mean, what was he thinking?” I placed my left hoof over my lips. “Kissing me? Saying that he loved me? W-was he mad!?” Maybe he’s the only sane one here. I felt myself tense as the thought crossed my mind. The rage I had built up faded as sorrow took its place. “But Spike’s always been my assistant, nothing more,” I replied to myself. Yet it’s because of him that you’ve never even considered finding the pony of your dreams. Deep down, you always knew that Spike was the one. He was caring and loving to the point that no pony could ever match him. “Yes…” I felt my lips quivering as I placed both of my shaking shaking hooves over my face. Something had happened to us. Had it been the two of us simply growing older? Had it been the realization that we were far too different to ever be together? Had it been my newfound responsibility of leadership? But you love him! “...Love... him?” You. Love. Him! I shook my head. “No, I-I… I don’t…” I sat on my haunches, tears clouding my sight. What have I done? I shut my eyes and sobbed. Spike’s not welcome here anymore. Let him run to Celestia! What have you done? Chase after him! Know your place, princess! You let him run away... He’s nothing but a dragon. One day, he’ll be nothing more than another monster! I slammed my hoof down at the words in my head. “SHUT UP!” I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! SPIKE’S NOT A MONSTER!” I wiped away the tears and looked at the door. I groaned and pushed away every thought in my head until only a single thing remained: Spike, who he was, and what he meant to me. I placed a hoof over my chest, remembering all the wonderful times we had shared. We had grown together, learned together, and lived together. Spike was a part of my life that I couldn’t imagine myself without. I loved him just as much as I loved all my other friends and the princess. No... I remembered all the times Spike had been there for me when no one else had. Whenever I was troubled, scared, or in danger, he had been there, no questions asked. He’d always gone the extra mile to make sure I was safe and sound, even if it meant that he suffered for it. And I had repaid all of that kindness by telling him to leave. No… It was true. For the last few years, I had started to distance myself from him. It was partially out of concern over his growth, but also partly out of fear of what I was starting to feel for him. Still, even after so many others had come and gone, Spike had stayed. He was the sole bastion of the days of old that I had left. When I had ascended to princesshood, he had stayed by my side, seeing me for who I was, and not for the title I had gained. No... I recalled the fond childhood memories. The days when Spike had been my shining knight in scales. How he had stood up for me before I had learned how. How he had sprung to action when I could not back in the Crystal Empire. No. My eyes shot wide open as a memory I had all but pushed aside flooded back in. It was a memory of a promise, one in which I had sworn to never send him away, never abandon him. Spike’s greatest fear, one he had likely felt coming true because of my choices. I put a hoof over my mouth as I came to the harrowing realization that my words earlier had broken that promise. How could I have done something so heartless? It’s because you never loved him in the first place. I bared my teeth and furrowed my brow. “That’s a lie! I have always loved Spike!” My eyes lit up, the tears finally coming to a stop. I have always loved Spike… The corners of my mouth rose as the words repeated themselves over and over in my mind. I have always loved Spike! I swiftly stood, gazing at the door with newfound determination. I had neglected my feelings for far too long. Out there, in the icy grasp of winter’s fury, was the dragon that had claimed my heart long ago. I levitated the nearest winter coat I had and opened the library’s door, facing the raging blizzard with newfound resolution. One more deep breath and I galloped into the white abyss. It was now my turn to be Spike’s knight. Chapter Three (Redux)That’s weird. My pain is gone. I stood up and looked around. The fog was so thick that I could barely see my claws in front of me, even when I flailed them around. This place… It feels warm. That’s impossible though. I looked down at my body. It didn’t look any different. It somehow felt hollow, although I couldn’t explain why. I crouched and grabbed some of the snow from the ground. It was as warm as grass on a spring day. Just where the heck am I? I heard whispering in the fog. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw what looked like the shapes of ponies, yet when I turned to face them, they vanished, leaving only the faint sound of wind blowing. The voice in the mist sounded so familiar, but I couldn’t put a claw on just who it was. It beckoned me forward. With no other real choice, I moved towards it. Buildings from Ponyville came into view. I rushed towards the nearest one and ran my claw over its wall. Its surface felt like glass, with only small cracks to give it texture. I walked to the next building and inspected it, finding more fissures and glass-like material. The fog cleared as I moved further into the town. When the fog became thin enough to see through, I saw the full extent of Ponyville’s state. All the buildings were damaged, a few beyond repair. Spires of crystal or ice dotted the landscape, some obviously having been used to tear buildings apart. It looks like a blizzard and hurricane took turns trashing the town. Again, I heard that voice whispering. It led me directly into the town’s main square. The only building still standing there was Town Hall, its walls a mixture of its normal architecture and more of the crystalline material. I walked up to the double doors of the building and quickly realized they were encased in the same icy crystal. I placed a claw on the ice to try and find a way to remove it. As soon as I did, the doors cracked, splintering apart like they had been struck with a hammer. Cautiously, I moved forward, gazing around in the hopes of understanding what had happened. Inside, I saw nothing but mounds of snow and icicles, all of which felt warm to my touch. The voice once again emanated from somewhere ahead. I rushed to it, the clacking and scratching of my claws drowning out the voice momentarily. It led me to a beat-up door. I instantly recognized it as the same one from the crystal palace. The gem above the frame glowed an ominous lavender as it beckoned to me. I steeled myself for whatever horrors could lie ahead as I opened the door. I was shocked when I found myself looking at Golden Oak’s main floor. I rubbed my eyes and took the sight in. Aside all the books being scattered in every direction imaginable, the library looked exactly how I had last seen it minutes ago. Still, something about it felt off. I couldn’t quite put a claw on it. ‘S…p…i…k…e… W….a…k….e… u….p…’ The voice rang clearer this time and had originated from upstairs. I took off chasing after it. As I raced up the stairs, it felt as if I wasn’t getting anywhere. What should have taken mere moments started to feel like hours, like the time Twi and I had tried to climb Sombra’s endless stairs. My pace eventually slowed. I started to lose hope of ever reaching the top. Just as I was considering going back, the stairs came to a sudden end. At the very top, I saw a white light. With one final step, I entered it. It left me blind of a couple of seconds. When my eyes finally adjusted, I was utterly shocked to find myself not in Twilight’s room as I had expected, but walking down the hall leading to Canterlot Palace’s throne room. Only difference was that, like Ponyville before it, it too looked as if it had been frozen over. The marble pillars were either worn or shattered, and the once brightly colored ceiling looked as if it had been torn apart by strong winds, revealing black clouds and heavy snowfall. The only objects that appeared to have been left untouched by the ravages of whatever had befallen the palace were the stained windows that held the many chronicles of Equestria, from its earliest struggles against Discord to the last major event with the Tree of Harmony. My eyes set themselves on the window that depicted me as the triumphant hero who vanquished Sombra and restored peace to the Crystal empire. A flood of nostalgia filled my being. A lot had happened since Twilight and I moved to Ponyville. As I walked to Mother’s throne, I noticed new stained windows I had never seen before. I stopped at the first one. I kind of wish I hadn’t, though. The centerpiece was clearly a depiction of me. It wasn’t like the one used for when I had saved the Crystal Empire, but rather, it was me in my current size and age. Yet, I wasn’t portrayed in a triumphant pose. Instead, I was laid on a crystalline casket, a white flower gripped in my claws. All around me were the ponies I had come to know as friends: AJ, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Mom and Auntie Luna were also there, their expressions clearly filled with sorrow. Strangely enough, Twilight was not present at the scene. Instead, she was in the bottom section of the image, alone, her back turned to everypony. I moved ahead to the next image. This one was of Canterlot Castle, enveloped in what looked like a massive lavender bubble. Above it were clouds shaped like ponies, circling, raining down ice over the city. I move ahead, gazing at more and more images: ice raining down on ponies, blizzards ravaging entire cities, ponies frozen in place as the equine-shaped clouds grew larger and larger. Then I reached the final stained window. Instead of an image, it was blank, almost as if it had been complexly frozen over. I took one step back from it, and the ground shook below my feet. Before my mind could properly process it, the floor gave way to a black abyss. As the sensation of weightlessness hit, the feeling of pure ice entering my gut overpowered all my other senses. Instinctively, I screamed as the void consumed me. I landed on something crystalline. At first, I wondered if I had somehow ended up deep in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When my sight finally adjusted, I found myself desperately wishing I had been correct. Under my claws were thousands upon thousands of ponies, all trapped within a thick sheet of ice, their expressions frozen in perpetual horror. I looked up and saw eight monoliths of ice. My eyes widened as I realized who was trapped in each one. My friends, frozen in place, all turned to each other with faces full of rage. Mom and Auntie Luna, snarling, locked as if ready to pounce on each other. At the very back of the group, I saw the sight that made my blood run completely cold. Twilight, face full of sorrow, hooves wrapped around an orange scarf. My scarf. I fell on my knees and punched the ice below me. I could feel tears swelling in my eyes as the same question kept repeating in my head over and over like a swarm of angry bees: why? The emptiness in me felt larger than before, numbing me to the deepest parts of my being. I looked down and noticed ice creeping up my legs, entrapping me just like the others. The sound of wicked neighing filled the air. ‘S….p…i…k….e… W….a…k…e… u…p…’ That same voice—so soothing and so welcoming. It beckoned me forward, even though I could no longer move. I gazed up and saw a light. It was so warm, so safe. I reached out a claw. The malicious neighing grew louder, becoming a din that nearly drove me insane. I reached out. I had to reach that light. I had to. * * * Slowly, I opened my eyes. For a second, I felt as if I it was all still just a dream, but as my vision sharpened, I realized that it wasn’t. I knew because the first thing I saw was Twilight’s face, eyes damp with tears. “Spike!” she cried, moving closer to me, yet just before wrapping her hooves around my chest, she stopped and slowly backed away. Her smile faded and her lips started quivering. I slowly tried to sit up, but my body felt too numb. I turned to Twilight. “Twi, I need a bit of help here.” For some reason, my words made Twi’s face contort further. She obliged nonetheless, but as soon as she had helped me up, she retreated. I turned to Twilight, my sight settling on the damp marks running down from her eyes to her cheeks. The more I saw her, the more I saw the tell-tale sign of a struggle against the elements. Her hair looked frazzled, sported patches of frost, and her lips were a slight blue hue. “Twi,” I started, moving my claw towards her. She recoiled at the sight and broke into sobs, gently pushing my claw away from her. “Please, I-I don’t…” She hung her head. “I’m a b-bad pony, Spike. I-I really a-am…” I grabbed hold of Twilight’s hoof and brought it to my cheek. “No, Twi, you’re not the bad one here.” I turned to look at her and almost felt my heart stop. She was gazing at me through tearful eyes, lips turned as far down as they could go. “I shouldn’t have done something so… stupid.” I diverted my gaze. “I… knew there was a blizzard, yet I still walked into it because… because…” I clenched my teeth. “I’m… I’m so sorry.” Twilight’s only reply was a stifled sob. “I’ll send Mom a letter. I’ll ask her to take me to Canterlot Palace. Don’t worry. I’ll be out of your mane pretty soon.” Bitterly, I sighed and used my weakened telekinesis magic to lift the nearest piece of parchment and a quill. A glance at Twilight revealed that her expression had not changed since my words. The fact she was not doing anything to stop me confirmed what I had already known. Of course she’s not stopping you. Things will be better this way. “No!” Twilight cried out. Her scream gave me pause, but it was her tossing herself on me that completely ruined my concentration. She wrapped her hooves around me and wailed into my chest, tears running down my scales. “Spike, d-don’t go, please!” Meekly, she looked up at me. “I’m the one w-who should…. should…” She closed her eyes and buried her face in my chest again. “I’m sorry, Spike, I-I… I’m so sorry. Hate me, scorn me, or never speak to me again; I don’t care what you choose to do—j-just… j-just don’t leave me again!” Twilight’s words horrified me. Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around her, sharing in the embrace. Twilight’s body warmed my own in ways no fire ever could. Tears started to build in my eyes as I broke the embrace and lifted Twi’s face. I gazed into her eyes—those beautiful amethyst eyes, so full of life, spirit, and affection instead of the cold indifference from earlier—and smiled. “Twilight,” I started, but found no real words to speak. As more and more tears welled in my eyes, I started to realize what my nightmare had shown me. I finally understood why I could never leave her, and why she could never leave me. She had risked her very life to bring me back to safety because, deep down, she cared for me in a way no pony ever could. Mother’s words rang in my head. “My son, you are young. You’ve many years ahead of you. One day, you will find that special someone that will love you for who you are deep down. You just have to be patient.” “But what if I never find someone who will love me?” “Never say never. Love comes from the most unexpected of places. Just have faith that it will find you.” “Spike,” Twilight started, eyes gazing deeply into mine. “I… I…” She sighed and smiled. “I really do love you. I’m sorry if I waited this long to tell you. I was just… j-just—” I wrapped Twi in a tighter embrace, breaking her train of thought entirely. I knew what she was going to say, and she did not need to say it. “Spike... I don’t know where the future is going to take us. But as long as I’m with you, I can face it.” “We will face it together,” I said. Twilight replied by embracing me tighter. “I know.” We pulled back ever so slightly, our eyes connecting with one another. Our breaths grew calm, and our eyes sparkled with warmth and joy. No more words were needed. We pressed our foreheads together, at last accepting the lessons our hearts had bestowed upon us. It was a gift, what we had, one we would treasure for as long as we both lived. “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon Original Version (Read ONLY after reading the redux chapters)Everywhere I turned, I met a world of white that started nowhere and led nowhere. I can’t feel my claws… I-I can’t even breathe flames… I tried to call out for in the hopes that somepony would help me, but the sound I did manage to croak was utterly swallowed by the roaring winds. Snow and hail buffeted and tore at my scales, numbing me to the very bone. Yet, no matter what pain the elements inflicted on me, they couldn’t compare to the one that was slowly unraveling me from the core out: the pain in my heart. I-I… can’t go on… I collapsed onto the snow. I curled my body to try and keep some of my warmth. The only thing that gave me any heat was the orange scarf wrapped around my neck. I wrapped my claws around the scarf. I was reminded of Twilight’s warm coat and loving embrace. I could feel my eyes moisten at the thought of her promise—her broken promise. “We were home. You said you didn’t need me anymore. Y-you were sending me away…” “A fear that will never come to pass. I’m never going to send you away.” How could she lie to me? * * * This gift A few minutes earlier… I took a deep breath as I headed for the library’s main floor. In my claws were a stack of books, ranging from archaic encyclopedias to Daring Do novels. Even though the stack almost reached the height of two ponies standing on top of each other, I had no trouble balancing it—I had grown a couple of extra inches over the last six years to the point that I was at eye level with Twilight. I put the stack down next to the empty bookshelf and turned to Twilight. She was still busy reading dozens of letters, all marked with the Royal Equestrian Principality insignia. Every day, she decided to worry more about the letters than about the library. I guess I couldn’t blame her since it was her way of coping with all that had happened in the last five years. Pinkie had gone back to her hometown to help Maud with some family affairs. Rarity… had moved to Manehattan to continue her fashion career, leaving the Carousel Boutique under Sweetie Belle’s care. AJ and Big Mac went to Appleloosa to help Braeburn and Little Strongheart with the new apple orchard, leaving Bloom and a couple of family members to watch the farm here in Ponyville. Dash had finally become a Wonderbolt and was now touring the nation. The only one left in Ponyville was Fluttershy, and she wasn’t known for being the embodiment of social interaction. My claw moved to stroke the orange scarf around my neck. The house was cold because of the blizzard, but Twilight’s magic made sure the tree stayed relatively cozy. She had diligently made the scarf herself over the period of several weeks almost five years ago. It was right after my heartbreak with Rarity. Some ponies might have said the scarf was just a piece of clothing, but to me, it was something dear. I called out to Twi, letting her know that I was about to start re-shelving. She glanced to the pile of books and thanked me. She didn’t even look at me directly. Worse yet, her voice no longer had the same affection from when I was younger—only a cold, detached ring to it. I sighed, turning away from Twilight and got started on the re-shelving. I focused and felt a surge of energy run through my body. The books turned weightless a they were wrapped them in my own telekinetic field. A neat trick I had learned from Celestia—or, as she preferred I call her, “Mom.” I started putting each book into the shelf by category and alphabetic order. My mind often wandered off during this task. As my luck would have it, it wandered into the one thought I had been trying to avoid all day. For as long as I could remember, the idea of growing up had terrified me. Part of the reason had to do with my greed incident seven years ago. I couldn’t fully recall everything about that day, but I had nightmares about it. Princess Luna had likely visited me more than any other being in Equestria due to those nightmares. Normally, every youth dreamed of the day he or she grew up. For ponies, the road to maturity started when their cutie marks were discovered, showing them what their place in society would be. Next, they found somepony to love and share all the days yet to come. Next was marriage, the vow to share a life as one—happy and sad moments alike. Then, arrived the children, the seeds of the next generation. In time, the new generation grew, taking the lessons of those that came before and moving forward, completing the circle that was life. I had never had any of that. I had no set “destiny” to guide me down in life. The one mare I had loved above all others had not only rejected me, but had moved on without me. I didn’t think there was anypony else I could love like I had loved her. Well, except for… I shook my head. She could never love me. Maybe once upon a time, but that ship had sailed long ago—especially now that I was at the doorstep to my teen years. If growing up had the same effect as the incident eight years ago, then I had no idea how long I had before I started losing my mind again. I would probably get too large and too violent to live among ponies and with Twilight, and I would be forced to leave. As I chanced a glance back to her, I wondered if the same thought had crossed her mind as well. Was that the reason she was being so distant with me? I turned back just in time to see the next book to be up for reshelving. The Crystal Empire Chronicles. I cringed. Put the book down Spike. Put it down before it makes you remember. Everything that was happening now had been predicted. Seven years ago, deep within the Crystal Palace’s bowels, Twilight and I had come face to face with a magical door created by King Sombra. Through it, I witnessed a sight that would haunt me. Twilight, full of hate and indifference, was sending me away. With a steely gaze and bared teeth, she called me a ‘monstrous dragon’ and demanded I leave before she stuck me down. Bitter tears poured out of my eyes as I desperately tried to understand why Twilight would turn so cold and hateful towards me. It didn’t matter how much I pleaded on my knees though. Without a single hint of hesitation, Twilight shattered everything I had ever known, everything I had ever cared about, with a single phrase: ‘I never loved you, you monster. Leave and never come back.’ I shook the memory off, shutting my eyes as tightly as I could to fight back the almost overwhelming desire to cry. I put the book on the shelf and kept working. When I had only a few books left, I found one I had not expected. It was an old romance novel, one that had been Rarity’s favorite. At the realization, I felt another pang stab my chest. I finished re-shelving the books as swiftly as I could and informed Twilight. As expected, she didn’t look back, only replying with a nod. I rushed for the library’s basement, which had been turned into my personal quarters as soon as I had outgrown my basket bed. As soon as I stepped inside, I tossed myself on my bed face down and let the tears flow out. I… I don’t want to remember her… Rarity had been, in my opinion, the single most beautiful mare I had ever laid eyes on. Her flawless coat, eyes that shone like gemstones, and lips that glistened like flawless crystals. All features that had made her the one mare I swore to seek to the ends of the earth. For eight years, I did just that, sometimes going so far as to do the near impossible just to win her affection. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could never win her love. As the years passed, Rarity and I grew apart. One day, she came bursting into Sugarcube Corner, raving how she had found the stallion of her dreams. Less than a year later, she had wed that lucky stallion. On her wedding day, I told her how I really felt. ‘Oh Spikey-wikie. Your affection really was the only thing that got me through some rather tough times. But darling, in the end you’re a dragon, and I’m a unicorn. I’m sorry, but it was never meant to be. You’ll always be my Spikey-wikie though. Don’t ever forget that.’ After the wedding, I withdrew myself. I did everything I could to change who I was—what I was. I went so far as to beg Celestia to change me into a pony. Her words still stung. ‘Spike, be proud of who you are. Changing your physical look is not going to ease your pain. It will only cause others to dislike you, for you would be lying to them.’ I knew Mom was right, but it had done nothing to ease my woes. In the end, I resigned myself to despair. I watched the world go on without me. It was only when Twilight again promised me to never leave me that I worked through the pain. Six years later, she wouldn’t even turn to look at me. I sat on my bed and wiped the tears. Where had I gone wrong? Had I not been the best assistant a princess could ask for? I gazed at my room’s ceiling. Tell me, Twi. Have I ever failed you? I stood and walked to my own bookshelf. It was filled with old comic books and a couple of light novels. One book stood out in particular: The Tale of Sir Bulwark. I grabbed the beat-up tome, the corners of my mouth rising. Once upon a time, this had been one of my favorite stories to hear at bedtime. It brought back many fond memories of the time I too had been a knight. Twilight’s favorite game growing up had been to pretend to be a princess trapped by a vicious dragon, always in distress and in need of a rescuer. Her brother, Shining Armor, took the role of the brave knight, ready and willing to march into the maw of Tartarus itself to save the princess. That left me as the only one to fill the role of dragon. The dynamic changed when Shining Armor left for the Guard Academy. I graduated to the role of knight, and Smarty Pants took the role of the dragon. The day of my “promotion,” I decided to commemorate myself with a silver-painted cardboard suit of armor. I had been a bit nervous, seeing as I had always played the villain, but once I had gotten into the rhythm of things, I turned into the perfect “gentledragon.” I felt my brow scrunching as I recalled how a group of four bullies—jealous of Twilight’s role as the princess’s protégée—had terrorized her. Without hesitation, I had charged them, not caring about the injuries I would no doubt incur. In the end, even the bruises had been worth just hearing Twilight thank me for my services as the four bullies ran away crying. She had then rewarded her brave silver knight with a kiss on the cheek. Back then, it’d been little more than a simple peck. As I rubbed my cheek, I started to realize it had been more than that. A smile crept on my lips. I should have known things were not that simple. The feelings had started to build soon after Rarity’s wedding. I had chalked it to growth, but I started to see Twilight as the one mare that could love me for what I was. I had said nothing at first out of fear. I was afraid of having my heart torn one more time. It wasn’t until now that I started to realize that keeping quiet had allowed the rift between me and Twi to form. Why is it that we hesitate? Why do we hold on to our emotions for so long? It can’t just be fear that forces us to say nothing. We don’t have much time in our lives. Tomorrow may already be too late to say what your heart wants to say. I know it may be too late for me, at least. Well, no more. I breathed in heavily and turned to face my room’s door. I had been holding on to this truth far too long. I had to tell Twi. I raced out of my room and up the stairs. I entered into the Library’s main room and found Twilight, still looking over the letters, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate. Twilight continued to read and reply to the letters until she finally noticed me almost half a minute later. As soon as she did, she sat up straight, her expression never changing. ‘Spike, there is something we have to talk about,’ she started. Her tone was still distant, almost as cold as the blizzard raging on the other side of the library walls. I felt myself hesitating. I considered going back to my room and staying there. Then I remembered my own thoughts, why I had rushed up here in the first place. I knew there was no turning back now. I swallowed a lump in my throat. ‘Let me say something that’s been bothering me for some time first.’ Even though my emotions swirled uncontrollably in me, I knew I had to speak now. With a resolute exhalation, I steeled myself for what was to come. One final stand against all I fear. One final cry of truth—then I can be at peace. I walked up to Twilight and embraced her as fondly as I could. She was caught by surprise, so much so that she spilled her cocoa. I took in the softness of Twi’s coat and the warmth of her body. My will all but set, I locked eyes with Twi. Before she could even say a word on my hug, I uttered a sentence that I had said many times in the past. Now, it carried the weight of my hopes and dreams in in every single letter. ‘Twilight… I love you. I always have loved you, and I always will.’ I finished off the words with a deep kiss. As I parted, I took in Twilight’s gaze. Eyes wide in shock, and the corners of her lips pointing down. Without warning, she pushed me aside and stood up. She gazed deep into my eyes, her emotions never changing. She closed her eyes and turned away from me. ‘I-I’m s-sorry. Please… just-just leave… leave me alone.’ I tried to retort, but Twilight flinched at my voice, almost as if it hurt her. ‘I… I’ve no need of your services… p-please just… go.’ Twilight said. I felt my eyes moisten as a cold numbness spread across my being. The dark vision that had tormented me for years had come to pass, and I had been its catalyst. No Spike… don’t let Twilight see you crying… Show strength… because deep down… you knew this is how it would end. Be strong. Be strong… I bitterly smiled, even though my body slowly lost the will to stand. Somehow, I managed to keep myself upright—if nothing else, to show Twilight that I had gracefully accepted her answer. That’s when the dark humor of the situation started to sink in. I couldn’t help but agree with the dark vision I had once feared so much. After all, Twilight was a pony, and I was a dragon. Why would she love me? Without a word, I turned and headed for the library’s door. I reached out for the handle, but stopped. Don’t let her see you crying… I turned back to face Twilight one last time. She was still facing away from me, still as a statue. With a bitter chuckle, I finally accepted my fate. ‘Sorry it ended like this. It was an honor to have been your assistant.’ I turned, facing the blizzard raging outside. ‘So long, Princess Twilight.’ I carefully closed the door behind me, claw reluctant to let go of what had been my home for almost eight years. Deep down, I knew there was no turning back now. I headed into the white nothingness, unsure as to where to go next. I guess I could head to Canterlot and let Mom know what happened. But a part of me didn’t want that. The truth was that I didn’t really care. I closed my eyes and let my feet carry me to whatever fate had in store for me now. After what felt like hours of walking, I finally stopped. At last, now that I was as far as I could get from the library, I allowed the tears I had been bottling up to swell out. I gazed upward, watching the sky darken through teary eyes. I barely felt the blizzard intensify. Twilight stood in stunned silence. Her mind was a roaring din, leaving every last one of her thoughts an incomprehensible mess. She should have seen the signs. She and Spike had been inseparable growing up. They two had been through so much together. It was because of him that she never even considered finding the stallion of her dreams. Spike had been such a caring and loving individual that no pony could ever hope to match him. Yet, something happened to them. Was it the two simply growing old? Had it been the realization that they were far too different to ever be together? Had it been the newfound responsibility of leadership given to Twilight?Before she could fully ponder it, Twilight heard the front door to the library open, the roar of the blizzard filling her ears. Spike, no! I didn’t mean it. She heard Spike’s bitter chuckle, his footfalls echoing away from her. Please. I’m sorry. I-I don’t what to say! I-I don’t know what to do. The door creaked shut. The cold air vanished. Come back Spike. I-I… Please, come back. Twilight’s mind continued to swirl chaotically as thousands of different thoughts threatened to drive her insane. She turned to face the door, but could not move her hooves. Please… No, it’s not your fault! What a creep! Love a dragon? That’s illogical! How can I ever love him? He’s your best friend. He’s always been your best friend! A princess and her assistant were never meant to be together. But you love him! ...Love him? Love him. You. Love. Him! Twilight sat on her haunches, tears forming in her eyes. What have I done? She shut her eyes and sobbed. Let him run away! He’s not welcome here anymore. Let him run to Celestia! Chase after him! Know your place, princess! Twilight slammed her hoof on the floor. SHUT UP! She sobbed one more time and looked at the door. She groaned and pushed away every thought in her head until only a single thing remained: Spike, who he was, and what he meant to her. Twilight placed a hoof over her chest, remembering all the wonderful times the two had shared. The two had grown together, learned together, and lived together. Spike was a part of her life that she couldn’t imagine herself without. She loved him just as much as she loved her other friends and the princess. No... Twilight remembered all the times Spike had been there when no one else had. When she was troubled, scared, or in danger, he had been there. He’d always gone the extra mile to make sure she was safe and sound, even if it meant that he suffered for it. And she had repaid that kindness by telling him to leave her. No. It’s more than that... For the last few years, she had started to distance herself from him. It was partially out of concern over his growth, and also partly out of fear of what she felt for him. Still, even after so many others had come and gone, Spike had stayed. He was the sole bastion of the days of old that she had left. When she had ascended to princesshood, he had stayed at her side, seeing her for who she was, and not for the title she had gained. She recalled the fond childhood memories, days when Spike had been her shining knight in lavender scales. How he had stood up for her before she had learned how to. How he had sprung to action when she could not back in the Crystal Empire. Twilight’s eyes shot wide open as a memory she had all but pushed aside flooded back in. It was a memory of a promise, one in which she swore to never send him away, never abandon him. Spike’s greatest fear, one he had likely felt coming true because of her choices. Twilight put her hooves on her head as she came to the harrowing realization that her words earlier had broken the promise. How could she have done something so heartless? It’s because you never loved him in the first place. Twilight bared her teeth and furrowed her brow. That’s a lie! I have always loved Spike! Twilight’s eyes lit up, the tears finally coming to a stop. I have always loved Spike… The corners of her mouth rose as the words repeated themselves over and over in her mind. I have always loved Spike! Twilight stood, wiping her tears and gazing at the door with newfound determination. She had neglected her feelings for far too long. Spike was the most precious thing to her. Out there, in the icy grasp of winter’s fury, was the dragon that had claimed her heart long ago. She opened the library’s door and faced the raging blizzard with newfound resolution. It was now her turn to be Spike’s knight. She stretched her legs and galloped into the white abyss. She wouldn’t lose Spike again. That’s weird… my pain is gone. I stood up and looked all around. The fog was so thick that I could barely see my claws in front of me. This place, it feels warm. That’s impossible though… I looked down at my body. It did not appear any different, though it felt hollow. I crouched and grabbed some of the snow I stood over. It was as warm as grass on a spring day. Just where the heck was I? I heard whispering in the fog. I could not spot anypony else in the white though. The voice sounded so familiar, yet I couldn’t put a claw on just who it was. Still, it beckoned me forward. With no other real choice, I moved towards it. Soon, buildings came into view. I rushed forward and ran my claw over the nearest one. I felt cracks on the surface, as well as what almost felt like glass. I walked to the next building and inspected it, finding more fissures and glass-like material. The fog started to clear as I moved forward, and I saw the full extent of the town’s state. All the buildings looked damaged, a few completely torn to pieces. It looks like a hurricane and blizzard tore right through. Again, I heard that voice. It led me directly into the town’s main square. The only building still standing there was Town Hall, its walls a mixture of its normal architecture and what looked like something crystalline. I walked up to the double doors of the building and noted their frozen state. I placed a claw on the ice to try and find a way to remove it. As soon as I did, the doors just fell apart. Cautiously, I moved forward, gazing all around me in the hopes of understanding just what had happened. Inside, I saw nothing but mounds of snow and icicles, all of which felt warm to my touch. The voice once again emanated from somewhere ahead. I instantly rushed to it. It led me to a beat-up door. I weighed my options, finally letting my curiosity get the better of me. I opened it, not entirely sure what to expect on the other side. I was shocked when I found myself looking at the Golden Oak’s main floor. I rubbed my eyes and took the sight in. Aside all the books being scattered in every direction imaginable, the library looked exactly how I had last seen it minutes ago. Still, something about it felt different. I couldn’t quite put a claw on it. ‘S…p…i…k…e… W….a…k….e… u….p…’ The voice rang clearer this time and had originated from upstairs. I took off chasing after it. As I raced up the stairs, it started to feel as if I wasn’t getting anywhere. What should have taken minutes starts to feel like hours. Eventually, I powered through, and at the very top of the stairs, I saw a white light. With one final step, I entered it. It left me blind of a couple of seconds. When my eyes finally adjusted, I was utterly shocked to find myself not in Twilight’s room as I had expected, but walking down the hall leading to Canterlot Palace’s throne room. Only difference was that, like Ponyville before it, it too looked as if it had been frozen over. The marble pillars were either worn or shattered, and the once brightly colored ceiling looked as if it had been torn apart by strong wings, revealing black clouds and heavy snowfall. The only objects that appeared to have been left untouched by the ravages of whatever had befallen the palace were the stained windows that held the many chronicles of Equestria, from the its earliest struggles against Discord, to the last major event with the Tree of Harmony. As I gazed at the images, I felt a flood of nostalgia fill my being. A lot had happened since Twilight had first moved to Ponyville. As I walked to mother’s throne, I noticed new stained windows I had never seen before. I stopped at the first one. I kind of wish I hadn’t though, as the image terrified me. The centerpiece was clearly a depiction of me. It wasn’t like the one used for when I saved the Crystal Empire, but rather, it was me in my current size and age. Yet, I wasn’t portrayed in a triumphant pose. Instead, I was laid on a casket a white flower gripped in my claws. All around me were the ponies I had come to know as friends: AJ, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Mom and Auntie Luna were also there, their expressions clearly filled with sorrow. Strangely enough, Twilight was not present at the scene. Instead, she was depicted in the bottom section of the image, alone, her back turned to everypony, including the viewer. I moved ahead to the next image. This one was of Canterlot Castle, enveloped in what looked like a massive lavender bubble. Above it were clouds shaped like ponies, circling, raining down ice over the city. I move ahead, gazing at more and more images. Ice raining down on ponies; blizzards ravaging entire cities; ponies frozen in place as the equine-shaped clouds grew larger and larger. Then I reached the final stained window. Instead of an image, it was blank, almost as if it had been complexly frozen over. I took one step back from it, and I felt the ground shake below my feet. Before my mind could properly process it, the floor gave way to a black abyss that swallowed me whole. I landed on something crystalline. At first, I wondered if I had somehow ended up deep in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When my sight finally adjusted, I found myself desperately wishing I had been correct. Under my very claws were thousands upon thousands of ponies frozen in place, forming a frozen lake. Their expressions stuck in what looked to be complete horror. I looked up and saw eight pyres of ice. My eyes widen as I realized who was trapped in each one. My friends, frozen in place, all turned to each other with faces full of rage. Mom and Auntie Luna, snarling, locked as if ready to pounce on each other. At the very back of the group, I saw the sight that made my blood run completely cold. Twilight, face full of sorrow, hooves wrapped around an orange scarf. My scarf. I fell on my knees. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I was overcome with a freezing sensation I hadn’t felt before. Despair and rage both took over me, further increasing the frigidness all over my body. I looked down as saw ice starting to encase me. The sound of wicked neighing filled the air. ‘S….p…i…k….e… W….a…k…e… u…p…’ That same voice—so soothing and so welcoming. It beckoned me forward, even though I could no longer move. I gazed up and saw a light. It was so warm, so safe. I reached out a claw. The malicious neighing grew louder, becoming a din that nearly drove me insane. Still, I reached out. I had to reach that light. I had to. * * * Slowly, I sensed my eyes open. For a second, I felt as if I it was all still just a dream, but as my vision sharpened, I realized I that I wasn’t stuck in some nightmare. I knew because the first thing I saw was Twilight’s face, eye damp with tears.I slowly tried to sit up, but my body felt too numb to. It didn’t take long for my body to recover its old sensation. A dull, cold pain then struck me, forcing my senses to dapt. The more sensation I regained, the sharper the pain became. Part of me was at least glad I could feel it. It meant that I was still alive. I turned to Twilight, my sight settling on the damp marks running down from her eyes down to her cheeks. The more I saw her, the more I saw the tell-tale sign of a struggle against the elements. Her hair was frizzled and sported patches of frost, and her lips were a slight blue hue. I tried to say something, but my words were cut off when Twilight, breaking into fresh tears, tossed herself over me, embracing me as tightly as she could. Her hug warmed me in a way no fire ever could. As Twilight broke the embrace, I gazed deep into her eyes. Those beautiful amethyst eyes—so full of life and spirit—no longer cold or indifferent—only filled with affection. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I realized what my nightmare had shown me. I finally understood why I could never leave her, or why she could never leave me. She had risked her very life to bring me back to safety, because deep down, she did care for me. I understood that it would take time. Neither of us were ready for where our future would take us, but in the end, that was what made love so powerful. We looked into each other eyes and understood that we had a lot work ahead of us. Strangely enough, the idea filled me with joy. We pressed our foreheads together, accepting what our hearts told us. We had been just been given a gift, on we would try and treasure for as long as we both lived. * * * “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon
Chapter One (Redux)Everywhere I turned, I met a world of white that started nowhere and led nowhere. I can’t feel my claws… I can’t even breathe flames… I tried to call out in the hopes that somepony would help me, but the sounds I managed to croak were swallowed by the roaring winds. Snow and hail buffeted and tore at my scales, numbing me to the very bone. Yet, no matter what pain the elements inflicted on me, they couldn’t compare to the one that was slowly unraveling me from the core out: the pain in my heart. I… can’t go on… I collapsed onto the snow and curled my body to try and keep some of my warmth. The only thing that gave me any body heat was the orange scarf wrapped around my neck. I pushed through the numbness in my claws and wrapped them around the scarf. Its warmth seeped through my scales, reminding me of Twilight's warm coat and the way it had felt back when she used to wrap me in her embrace. For a moment, I could even hear the sound of her voice calling to me from far away. Then I remembered her broken promise. Tears filled my eyes as all the warmth from the happy memories were blown away by the icy winds, replaced by only by the bitter chill that tore through my muscles and gripped my heart. Though the wind continued to howl, those words were all I could hear. “We were home. You said you didn’t need me anymore. Y-you were sending me away…” “A fear that will never come to pass. I’m never going to send you away.” How could she lie to me? * * * This Gift A few minutes earlier… “Spike, where are the books I asked you to reshelve?” Twilight shouted across the room. She was lying on her old ‘reading cushion,’ surrounded by rolled up scrolls. All the windows were closed shut, and the door… I swear, that door looked more and more sinister with every passing day. “Got them right here,” I shouted back. I took a deep breath and started climbing up the basement stairs, heading for the library’s main floor. I did my best to balance the stack of books in my claws. I grunted, shifting the weight of the books on my arms. Kind of forgot how much stuff we actually had in stock. I could carry a lot now that I was as tall as Twilight, but a stack that nearly reached the ceiling was pushing it. Everything from archaic encyclopedias to Daring Do novels. I put the stack down next to the empty bookshelf and turned to face Twilight. “Alright, got the books here,” I said. She was still busy reading dozens of letters, all marked with the Royal Equestrian Principality insignia. “Are you going to help me sort these books?” I grabbed one of the Daring Do novels from the top of the pile and smiled at Twi. “You know, for old time’s sake?” Twi didn’t reply. She only chanced a glance before going back to her letters. “Guess not.” I turned to the shelf and sighed. Every day, Twilight worried more and more about her royal duties than the library. I couldn’t really blame her, though. It was her way of coping with all that had happened in the last six years. I narrowed my eyes. Can’t she at least be more open about it though? “Twilight,” I started, well aware that she was not paying me much mind, “do you… ever miss the others?” As expected, no reply. I started to stroke the orange scarf around my neck. “I don't know about you, but I sure do. Ever since they all started moving away, things just haven't been the same.” I sighed. “Only one left now is Fluttershy, yet you barely talk to her.” “Maybe you should worry less about the past, and more about the present,” Twilight said. I turned to face her, only to meet her glare. “At least I remember them!” I diverted my gaze away from her. “Spike, I miss them too, but standing around reminiscing about the old days isn’t productive.” I turned back to face Twi. That’s when I noticed her eyes soften for a fraction of a second before she turned back to her letters. I again grabbed on to the scarf tied around my neck and caressed it. I wanted to say something, but in the end, I couldn’t find the words. It hadn’t been too long ago since Twilight had made me the scarf. I turned to the pile of books and focused, calling forth a surge of energy that ran through my body. The books turned weightless as I wrapped them in a telekinetic field. A neat trick I had learned from Celestia—or, as she preferred I call her nowadays, ‘Mom.’ I started putting each book into the shelf by category and alphabetical order. My mind often wandered during this task. As my luck would have it, it wandered into the one thought I had been trying to avoid all day. For as long as I could remember, the idea of growing up had terrified me. Part of the reason had to do with my greed incident seven years ago. I couldn’t remember everything, but I still had nightmares about that day. Normally, every youth dreamed of the day he or she grew up. For ponies, the road to maturity started when their cutie marks were discovered, showing them what their place in society would be. After that, they fell in love and had foals. But I wasn’t a pony. I had no set “destiny” to guide me through my life, and I certainly had no pony to love. The one mare I had loved above all others had not only rejected me, but had moved on without me. I didn’t think there was anypony else I could love like I had loved her. Well, except for… I shook my head. She can’t ever love me. Maybe once upon a time, but that ship had sailed long ago—especially now that I was nearly eighteen by pony standards.I had no idea how long I had until I got too large and violent to live among ponies. As I chanced a glance back to Twi, I wondered if the same thought had crossed her mind as well. Was that the reason she was being so distant with me? I turned back just in time to see the next book to be up for reshelving. The Crystal Empire Chronicles. I cringed. How had that book found its way into the pile? I didn’t remember picking it up. I tried to ignore it as best as I could. Put the book down, Spike. Put it down before it makes you remember. It was no use. The memories flooded back in. *** *** *** “Monstrous dragon!” Twilight shouted, horn flashing as she charged her magic. With a steely gaze and bared teeth, she pointed her hoof at me. “Get out of my sight, you filthy beast!” She slammed her hoof on the floor. “I swear by Celestia, if you do not leave my sight, I will destroy you!” Bitter tears poured out of my eyes as I desperately tried to understand why Twilight would turn so cold and hateful towards me. “What have I done to make you hate me so much!?” I shouted, only for my words to be lost to the cacophony of thunder and rain. “Did you ever really believe that you were anything more than a tool!?” Twilight snarled, using her magic to shove me away. “I never loved you! You’re just a thing that’s outlived its usefulness.” The words stabbed at me like a knife, forcing the very air from my lungs. Yet it was the next phrase that truly shattered everything I had ever known, everything I had ever cared about: “I never loved you, you monster. Leave and never come back!” *** *** *** I shook the memory off, forcing my eyes shut to fight back the overwhelming desire to cry. I put the book on the shelf and kept working. When I had only a few books left, I found one I had not expected. It was an old romance novel, one that had been Rarity’s favorite. At the realization, I feel another pang of agony stab at my chest. I finished re-shelving the books as swiftly as I could. “T-there, Twilight. I’m d-done.” Twilight looked up from her letter and inspected the shelf. She said nothing, only nodding in approval. I rushed for the library’s basement, passing through stairs that reminded me more of Sombra’s castle stairs with every passing day. Part of the basement had been turned into my personal quarters as soon as I had outgrown my basket bed. As soon as I stepped inside my room, I tossed myself on my bed face-down and let the tears flow. I… I don’t want to remember her… please, Cele—Mother… don’t make me remember her! Once upon a time, Rarity had been, in my opinion, the single most beautiful mare I had ever laid eyes on. Her flawless coat, eyes that shone like gemstones, and lips that glistened like radiant crystals: all features that had made her the one mare I swore to seek to the ends of the earth. As the years passed, Rarity and I grew apart. One day, she came bursting into Sugarcube Corner, raving about how she had found the stallion of her dreams. Less than a year after moving to Manehattan, she had wed her sweetheart. On her wedding day, I told her how I really felt. “Oh Spikey-wikey… your affection really was the only thing that got me through some rather tough times, and I will never forget that. But darling, in the end, you were always just a dear friend to me, nothing more. I-I’m sorry if you feel like I led you on and betrayed your affection. It was my fault for not stopping it before it got out of hoof. If you hate me… I completely understand and accept it. Just know that one day, you’ll find the one that will make you happy. Don’t ever forget that, even if you do forget about me.” How could I hate Rarity for being there for me? After the wedding, I withdrew myself. I did everything I could to change who I was—what I was. I went so far as to beg Celestia to change me into a pony. “My son, I could change you into whatever you want to be. I could even give you the power of a prince if it meant seeing you happy. But doing so would only be imposing a lie on you. If you can’t be happy with who you are, then you’ll never truly be happy, no matter what shape you choose to take.” “But what if I never find somepony to love me? What if I’m forever cursed to be alone just because of who I am?” “My son, you are young. You’ve many years ahead of you. One day, you will find that special someone that will love you for who you are deep down. Love comes from the most unexpected of places. Just have faith that it will find you.” I knew Mom was right, but her words had done little to ease my woes. In the end, I resigned myself to despair. I watched the world go on without me. It was only when Twilight once again promised to never leave me that I worked through the pain. Six years later, she wouldn’t even turn to look at me. I sat on my bed and wiped the tears. Where had I gone wrong? Had I not been the best assistant a princess could ask for? I gazed at my room’s ceiling. Tell me, Twi. Have I ever failed you? I stood and walked to my own bookshelf. My old comic books and a couple of light novels were still there. One book stood out in particular: The Tale of Sir Bulwark. I grabbed the beat-up tome, the corners of my mouth rising. Once upon a time, this had been one of my favorite stories to hear at bedtime. It brought back many fond memories. Twilight’s favorite game growing up had been to pretend she was a princess trapped by a vicious dragon. Her brother, Shining Armor, took the role of the brave knight. That left me as the only one to fill the role of dragon. The dynamic changed when Shining Armor left for the Guard Academy. I graduated to the role of knight, and Smarty Pants took the role of the dragon. The day of my ‘promotion,’ I decided to commemorate the occasion with a silver-painted suit of cardboard armor. I had been a bit nervous, seeing as I had always played the villain, but once I had gotten into the rhythm of things, I turned into the perfect ‘gentledragon.’ My brow scrunched as I recalled how a group of four bullies—jealous of Twilight’s role as the princess’s protégée—had terrorized her. Without hesitation, I had charged them, not caring about potential injuries. In the end, even the bruises had been worth hearing Twilight thank me for my services as the four bullies ran away crying. She had then rewarded her brave silver knight with a kiss on the cheek. Back then, it’d been little more than a simple peck. As I rubbed my cheek, I started to realize it had been more than that. I should have known things were not that simple. The feelings had started to build soon after Rarity’s wedding. I had chalked it to growth, but I started to see Twilight as the one mare that could love me for what I was. I had said nothing at first, afraid of having my heart torn out once again. I had only just realized that keeping quiet had allowed the rift between me and Twi to form. I raced out of my room and up the stairs. I entered into the Library’s main room and found Twilight, still looking over the letters, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate. Twilight continued to read and reply to the letters until she finally noticed me almost half a minute later. As soon as she did, she sat up straight, her expression never changing. “Spike, there is something we have to talk about,” she started. Her tone was still distant, almost as cold as the blizzard raging on the other side of the library walls. I considered going back to my room and staying there. Then I remembered my own thoughts, why I had rushed up here in the first place. I knew there was no turning back now. I swallowed a lump in my throat. “Let me say something that’s been bothering me for some time first.” Even though the emotions swirled in me like a hive of angry hornets, I knew I had to speak. With a resolute exhalation, I steeled myself for what was to come. One final stand against all I fear. One final cry of truth—then I can be at peace. I walked up to Twilight and embraced her as fondly as I could. She was caught by surprise, so much so that she spilled her cocoa. I took in the softness of Twi’s coat and the warmth of her body. My will all but set, I locked eyes with her. Before she could even say a word about my hug, I uttered a sentence that I had said many times in the past. It carried the weight of my hopes and dreams in every single letter. “Twilight… I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will!” I finished my words by planting a deep kiss on Twi’s lips. As I parted, I took in Twilight’s gaze. Eyes wide in shock, corners of her lips pointing down. Without warning, she pushed me aside and stood up. She gazed deep into my eyes, her expression never changing. She closed her eyes and turned away from me. “What’s wrong?” ‘I-I’m s-sorry, Spike.” “Please, Twi…” I started, already feeling chills run up my spine. “Please… just-just leave… leave me alone.” “W-what are you saying?” “L-leave… me alone…” “Wha….wha?” Twilight flinched at my voice, almost as if my words hurt her. “I-I’m sorry, Spike… I’ve no need of your services… P-please just… go.” I felt my eyes moisten as a cold numbness spread across my being. The dark vision that had tormented me for years had come to pass, and I had been its catalyst. I smiled, if nothing else, to show Twilight that I had gracefully accepted her answer. No, Spike… don’t let Twilight see you crying… Show strength… because deep down… you knew this is how it would end. Be strong. Be strong… After all, Twilight was a pony, and I was a dragon. Why would she love me? Without a word, I turned and headed for the library’s door. I reached out for the handle, but stopped. Don’t let her see you crying… I turned back to face Twilight one last time. She was still facing away from me like a statue. With a bitter chuckle, I finally accepted my fate. “Sorry it ended like this. It was an honor to have been your assistant.” I turned, facing the blizzard raging outside. “So long, Princess Twilight.” I carefully closed the door behind me, claw reluctant to let go of what had been my home for almost eight years. Deep down, I knew there was no turning back. I headed into the white nothingness, unsure as to where to go next. I considered heading to Canterlot and letting Mom know what happened. But a part of me didn’t want that; the truth was that I didn’t really care. I closed my eyes and let my feet carry me to whatever fate had in store for me. After what felt like hours of walking, I finally stopped. At last, now that I was as far as I could get from the library, I allowed the tears I had been bottling up to swell out. I gazed upward, watching the sky darken through teary eyes. My scales grew numb to the rising blizzard.
Chapter Two (Redux)I stood in stunned silence, my thoughts muddling together into an incomprehensible din. Before I could ponder Spike’s words, I heard the front door to the library open, the roar of the blizzard filling my ears. Spike, no... I didn’t mean it. I heard Spike’s bitter chuckle, his footfalls echoing away from me. Please. I’m sorry. I don’t what to say! I don’t know what to do! The door creaked shut. The wind stopped. Come back, Spike. I… Please, come back. My mind continued to swirl chaotically as thousands of different thoughts threatened to drive me insane. I turned to face the door, but could not move my hooves. The din in my mind intensified as dozens of rotating voices lashed at me. What a creep! Love a dragon? That’s illogical! How could I ever love him? He’s your best friend. He’s always been your best friend! A princess and her assistant were never meant to be together! A shiver ran up my spine as I tried to make sense of the voices. I should have seen the signs. The two of us had been inseparable growing up, and had been through so much together over the years. I furrowed my brow and shook my head. “Oh Celestia, what am I thinking!?” I knelt back down on my cushion and tried the breathing exercise that Cadence had taught me so long ago. After a minute, I took a deep inhale and held it. After slowly exhaling, I looked back at the door. “I-I mean, what was he thinking?” I placed my left hoof over my lips. “Kissing me? Saying that he loved me? W-was he mad!?” Maybe he’s the only sane one here. I felt myself tense as the thought crossed my mind. The rage I had built up faded as sorrow took its place. “But Spike’s always been my assistant, nothing more,” I replied to myself. Yet it’s because of him that you’ve never even considered finding the pony of your dreams. Deep down, you always knew that Spike was the one. He was caring and loving to the point that no pony could ever match him. “Yes…” I felt my lips quivering as I placed both of my shaking shaking hooves over my face. Something had happened to us. Had it been the two of us simply growing older? Had it been the realization that we were far too different to ever be together? Had it been my newfound responsibility of leadership? But you love him! “...Love... him?” You. Love. Him! I shook my head. “No, I-I… I don’t…” I sat on my haunches, tears clouding my sight. What have I done? I shut my eyes and sobbed. Spike’s not welcome here anymore. Let him run to Celestia! What have you done? Chase after him! Know your place, princess! You let him run away... He’s nothing but a dragon. One day, he’ll be nothing more than another monster! I slammed my hoof down at the words in my head. “SHUT UP!” I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! SPIKE’S NOT A MONSTER!” I wiped away the tears and looked at the door. I groaned and pushed away every thought in my head until only a single thing remained: Spike, who he was, and what he meant to me. I placed a hoof over my chest, remembering all the wonderful times we had shared. We had grown together, learned together, and lived together. Spike was a part of my life that I couldn’t imagine myself without. I loved him just as much as I loved all my other friends and the princess. No... I remembered all the times Spike had been there for me when no one else had. Whenever I was troubled, scared, or in danger, he had been there, no questions asked. He’d always gone the extra mile to make sure I was safe and sound, even if it meant that he suffered for it. And I had repaid all of that kindness by telling him to leave. No… It was true. For the last few years, I had started to distance myself from him. It was partially out of concern over his growth, but also partly out of fear of what I was starting to feel for him. Still, even after so many others had come and gone, Spike had stayed. He was the sole bastion of the days of old that I had left. When I had ascended to princesshood, he had stayed by my side, seeing me for who I was, and not for the title I had gained. No... I recalled the fond childhood memories. The days when Spike had been my shining knight in scales. How he had stood up for me before I had learned how. How he had sprung to action when I could not back in the Crystal Empire. No. My eyes shot wide open as a memory I had all but pushed aside flooded back in. It was a memory of a promise, one in which I had sworn to never send him away, never abandon him. Spike’s greatest fear, one he had likely felt coming true because of my choices. I put a hoof over my mouth as I came to the harrowing realization that my words earlier had broken that promise. How could I have done something so heartless? It’s because you never loved him in the first place. I bared my teeth and furrowed my brow. “That’s a lie! I have always loved Spike!” My eyes lit up, the tears finally coming to a stop. I have always loved Spike… The corners of my mouth rose as the words repeated themselves over and over in my mind. I have always loved Spike! I swiftly stood, gazing at the door with newfound determination. I had neglected my feelings for far too long. Out there, in the icy grasp of winter’s fury, was the dragon that had claimed my heart long ago. I levitated the nearest winter coat I had and opened the library’s door, facing the raging blizzard with newfound resolution. One more deep breath and I galloped into the white abyss. It was now my turn to be Spike’s knight.
Chapter Three (Redux)That’s weird. My pain is gone. I stood up and looked around. The fog was so thick that I could barely see my claws in front of me, even when I flailed them around. This place… It feels warm. That’s impossible though. I looked down at my body. It didn’t look any different. It somehow felt hollow, although I couldn’t explain why. I crouched and grabbed some of the snow from the ground. It was as warm as grass on a spring day. Just where the heck am I? I heard whispering in the fog. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw what looked like the shapes of ponies, yet when I turned to face them, they vanished, leaving only the faint sound of wind blowing. The voice in the mist sounded so familiar, but I couldn’t put a claw on just who it was. It beckoned me forward. With no other real choice, I moved towards it. Buildings from Ponyville came into view. I rushed towards the nearest one and ran my claw over its wall. Its surface felt like glass, with only small cracks to give it texture. I walked to the next building and inspected it, finding more fissures and glass-like material. The fog cleared as I moved further into the town. When the fog became thin enough to see through, I saw the full extent of Ponyville’s state. All the buildings were damaged, a few beyond repair. Spires of crystal or ice dotted the landscape, some obviously having been used to tear buildings apart. It looks like a blizzard and hurricane took turns trashing the town. Again, I heard that voice whispering. It led me directly into the town’s main square. The only building still standing there was Town Hall, its walls a mixture of its normal architecture and more of the crystalline material. I walked up to the double doors of the building and quickly realized they were encased in the same icy crystal. I placed a claw on the ice to try and find a way to remove it. As soon as I did, the doors cracked, splintering apart like they had been struck with a hammer. Cautiously, I moved forward, gazing around in the hopes of understanding what had happened. Inside, I saw nothing but mounds of snow and icicles, all of which felt warm to my touch. The voice once again emanated from somewhere ahead. I rushed to it, the clacking and scratching of my claws drowning out the voice momentarily. It led me to a beat-up door. I instantly recognized it as the same one from the crystal palace. The gem above the frame glowed an ominous lavender as it beckoned to me. I steeled myself for whatever horrors could lie ahead as I opened the door. I was shocked when I found myself looking at Golden Oak’s main floor. I rubbed my eyes and took the sight in. Aside all the books being scattered in every direction imaginable, the library looked exactly how I had last seen it minutes ago. Still, something about it felt off. I couldn’t quite put a claw on it. ‘S…p…i…k…e… W….a…k….e… u….p…’ The voice rang clearer this time and had originated from upstairs. I took off chasing after it. As I raced up the stairs, it felt as if I wasn’t getting anywhere. What should have taken mere moments started to feel like hours, like the time Twi and I had tried to climb Sombra’s endless stairs. My pace eventually slowed. I started to lose hope of ever reaching the top. Just as I was considering going back, the stairs came to a sudden end. At the very top, I saw a white light. With one final step, I entered it. It left me blind of a couple of seconds. When my eyes finally adjusted, I was utterly shocked to find myself not in Twilight’s room as I had expected, but walking down the hall leading to Canterlot Palace’s throne room. Only difference was that, like Ponyville before it, it too looked as if it had been frozen over. The marble pillars were either worn or shattered, and the once brightly colored ceiling looked as if it had been torn apart by strong winds, revealing black clouds and heavy snowfall. The only objects that appeared to have been left untouched by the ravages of whatever had befallen the palace were the stained windows that held the many chronicles of Equestria, from its earliest struggles against Discord to the last major event with the Tree of Harmony. My eyes set themselves on the window that depicted me as the triumphant hero who vanquished Sombra and restored peace to the Crystal empire. A flood of nostalgia filled my being. A lot had happened since Twilight and I moved to Ponyville. As I walked to Mother’s throne, I noticed new stained windows I had never seen before. I stopped at the first one. I kind of wish I hadn’t, though. The centerpiece was clearly a depiction of me. It wasn’t like the one used for when I had saved the Crystal Empire, but rather, it was me in my current size and age. Yet, I wasn’t portrayed in a triumphant pose. Instead, I was laid on a crystalline casket, a white flower gripped in my claws. All around me were the ponies I had come to know as friends: AJ, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Mom and Auntie Luna were also there, their expressions clearly filled with sorrow. Strangely enough, Twilight was not present at the scene. Instead, she was in the bottom section of the image, alone, her back turned to everypony. I moved ahead to the next image. This one was of Canterlot Castle, enveloped in what looked like a massive lavender bubble. Above it were clouds shaped like ponies, circling, raining down ice over the city. I move ahead, gazing at more and more images: ice raining down on ponies, blizzards ravaging entire cities, ponies frozen in place as the equine-shaped clouds grew larger and larger. Then I reached the final stained window. Instead of an image, it was blank, almost as if it had been complexly frozen over. I took one step back from it, and the ground shook below my feet. Before my mind could properly process it, the floor gave way to a black abyss. As the sensation of weightlessness hit, the feeling of pure ice entering my gut overpowered all my other senses. Instinctively, I screamed as the void consumed me. I landed on something crystalline. At first, I wondered if I had somehow ended up deep in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When my sight finally adjusted, I found myself desperately wishing I had been correct. Under my claws were thousands upon thousands of ponies, all trapped within a thick sheet of ice, their expressions frozen in perpetual horror. I looked up and saw eight monoliths of ice. My eyes widened as I realized who was trapped in each one. My friends, frozen in place, all turned to each other with faces full of rage. Mom and Auntie Luna, snarling, locked as if ready to pounce on each other. At the very back of the group, I saw the sight that made my blood run completely cold. Twilight, face full of sorrow, hooves wrapped around an orange scarf. My scarf. I fell on my knees and punched the ice below me. I could feel tears swelling in my eyes as the same question kept repeating in my head over and over like a swarm of angry bees: why? The emptiness in me felt larger than before, numbing me to the deepest parts of my being. I looked down and noticed ice creeping up my legs, entrapping me just like the others. The sound of wicked neighing filled the air. ‘S….p…i…k….e… W….a…k…e… u…p…’ That same voice—so soothing and so welcoming. It beckoned me forward, even though I could no longer move. I gazed up and saw a light. It was so warm, so safe. I reached out a claw. The malicious neighing grew louder, becoming a din that nearly drove me insane. I reached out. I had to reach that light. I had to. * * * Slowly, I opened my eyes. For a second, I felt as if I it was all still just a dream, but as my vision sharpened, I realized that it wasn’t. I knew because the first thing I saw was Twilight’s face, eyes damp with tears. “Spike!” she cried, moving closer to me, yet just before wrapping her hooves around my chest, she stopped and slowly backed away. Her smile faded and her lips started quivering. I slowly tried to sit up, but my body felt too numb. I turned to Twilight. “Twi, I need a bit of help here.” For some reason, my words made Twi’s face contort further. She obliged nonetheless, but as soon as she had helped me up, she retreated. I turned to Twilight, my sight settling on the damp marks running down from her eyes to her cheeks. The more I saw her, the more I saw the tell-tale sign of a struggle against the elements. Her hair looked frazzled, sported patches of frost, and her lips were a slight blue hue. “Twi,” I started, moving my claw towards her. She recoiled at the sight and broke into sobs, gently pushing my claw away from her. “Please, I-I don’t…” She hung her head. “I’m a b-bad pony, Spike. I-I really a-am…” I grabbed hold of Twilight’s hoof and brought it to my cheek. “No, Twi, you’re not the bad one here.” I turned to look at her and almost felt my heart stop. She was gazing at me through tearful eyes, lips turned as far down as they could go. “I shouldn’t have done something so… stupid.” I diverted my gaze. “I… knew there was a blizzard, yet I still walked into it because… because…” I clenched my teeth. “I’m… I’m so sorry.” Twilight’s only reply was a stifled sob. “I’ll send Mom a letter. I’ll ask her to take me to Canterlot Palace. Don’t worry. I’ll be out of your mane pretty soon.” Bitterly, I sighed and used my weakened telekinesis magic to lift the nearest piece of parchment and a quill. A glance at Twilight revealed that her expression had not changed since my words. The fact she was not doing anything to stop me confirmed what I had already known. Of course she’s not stopping you. Things will be better this way. “No!” Twilight cried out. Her scream gave me pause, but it was her tossing herself on me that completely ruined my concentration. She wrapped her hooves around me and wailed into my chest, tears running down my scales. “Spike, d-don’t go, please!” Meekly, she looked up at me. “I’m the one w-who should…. should…” She closed her eyes and buried her face in my chest again. “I’m sorry, Spike, I-I… I’m so sorry. Hate me, scorn me, or never speak to me again; I don’t care what you choose to do—j-just… j-just don’t leave me again!” Twilight’s words horrified me. Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around her, sharing in the embrace. Twilight’s body warmed my own in ways no fire ever could. Tears started to build in my eyes as I broke the embrace and lifted Twi’s face. I gazed into her eyes—those beautiful amethyst eyes, so full of life, spirit, and affection instead of the cold indifference from earlier—and smiled. “Twilight,” I started, but found no real words to speak. As more and more tears welled in my eyes, I started to realize what my nightmare had shown me. I finally understood why I could never leave her, and why she could never leave me. She had risked her very life to bring me back to safety because, deep down, she cared for me in a way no pony ever could. Mother’s words rang in my head. “My son, you are young. You’ve many years ahead of you. One day, you will find that special someone that will love you for who you are deep down. You just have to be patient.” “But what if I never find someone who will love me?” “Never say never. Love comes from the most unexpected of places. Just have faith that it will find you.” “Spike,” Twilight started, eyes gazing deeply into mine. “I… I…” She sighed and smiled. “I really do love you. I’m sorry if I waited this long to tell you. I was just… j-just—” I wrapped Twi in a tighter embrace, breaking her train of thought entirely. I knew what she was going to say, and she did not need to say it. “Spike... I don’t know where the future is going to take us. But as long as I’m with you, I can face it.” “We will face it together,” I said. Twilight replied by embracing me tighter. “I know.” We pulled back ever so slightly, our eyes connecting with one another. Our breaths grew calm, and our eyes sparkled with warmth and joy. No more words were needed. We pressed our foreheads together, at last accepting the lessons our hearts had bestowed upon us. It was a gift, what we had, one we would treasure for as long as we both lived. “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon
Original Version (Read ONLY after reading the redux chapters)Everywhere I turned, I met a world of white that started nowhere and led nowhere. I can’t feel my claws… I-I can’t even breathe flames… I tried to call out for in the hopes that somepony would help me, but the sound I did manage to croak was utterly swallowed by the roaring winds. Snow and hail buffeted and tore at my scales, numbing me to the very bone. Yet, no matter what pain the elements inflicted on me, they couldn’t compare to the one that was slowly unraveling me from the core out: the pain in my heart. I-I… can’t go on… I collapsed onto the snow. I curled my body to try and keep some of my warmth. The only thing that gave me any heat was the orange scarf wrapped around my neck. I wrapped my claws around the scarf. I was reminded of Twilight’s warm coat and loving embrace. I could feel my eyes moisten at the thought of her promise—her broken promise. “We were home. You said you didn’t need me anymore. Y-you were sending me away…” “A fear that will never come to pass. I’m never going to send you away.” How could she lie to me? * * * This gift A few minutes earlier… I took a deep breath as I headed for the library’s main floor. In my claws were a stack of books, ranging from archaic encyclopedias to Daring Do novels. Even though the stack almost reached the height of two ponies standing on top of each other, I had no trouble balancing it—I had grown a couple of extra inches over the last six years to the point that I was at eye level with Twilight. I put the stack down next to the empty bookshelf and turned to Twilight. She was still busy reading dozens of letters, all marked with the Royal Equestrian Principality insignia. Every day, she decided to worry more about the letters than about the library. I guess I couldn’t blame her since it was her way of coping with all that had happened in the last five years. Pinkie had gone back to her hometown to help Maud with some family affairs. Rarity… had moved to Manehattan to continue her fashion career, leaving the Carousel Boutique under Sweetie Belle’s care. AJ and Big Mac went to Appleloosa to help Braeburn and Little Strongheart with the new apple orchard, leaving Bloom and a couple of family members to watch the farm here in Ponyville. Dash had finally become a Wonderbolt and was now touring the nation. The only one left in Ponyville was Fluttershy, and she wasn’t known for being the embodiment of social interaction. My claw moved to stroke the orange scarf around my neck. The house was cold because of the blizzard, but Twilight’s magic made sure the tree stayed relatively cozy. She had diligently made the scarf herself over the period of several weeks almost five years ago. It was right after my heartbreak with Rarity. Some ponies might have said the scarf was just a piece of clothing, but to me, it was something dear. I called out to Twi, letting her know that I was about to start re-shelving. She glanced to the pile of books and thanked me. She didn’t even look at me directly. Worse yet, her voice no longer had the same affection from when I was younger—only a cold, detached ring to it. I sighed, turning away from Twilight and got started on the re-shelving. I focused and felt a surge of energy run through my body. The books turned weightless a they were wrapped them in my own telekinetic field. A neat trick I had learned from Celestia—or, as she preferred I call her, “Mom.” I started putting each book into the shelf by category and alphabetic order. My mind often wandered off during this task. As my luck would have it, it wandered into the one thought I had been trying to avoid all day. For as long as I could remember, the idea of growing up had terrified me. Part of the reason had to do with my greed incident seven years ago. I couldn’t fully recall everything about that day, but I had nightmares about it. Princess Luna had likely visited me more than any other being in Equestria due to those nightmares. Normally, every youth dreamed of the day he or she grew up. For ponies, the road to maturity started when their cutie marks were discovered, showing them what their place in society would be. Next, they found somepony to love and share all the days yet to come. Next was marriage, the vow to share a life as one—happy and sad moments alike. Then, arrived the children, the seeds of the next generation. In time, the new generation grew, taking the lessons of those that came before and moving forward, completing the circle that was life. I had never had any of that. I had no set “destiny” to guide me down in life. The one mare I had loved above all others had not only rejected me, but had moved on without me. I didn’t think there was anypony else I could love like I had loved her. Well, except for… I shook my head. She could never love me. Maybe once upon a time, but that ship had sailed long ago—especially now that I was at the doorstep to my teen years. If growing up had the same effect as the incident eight years ago, then I had no idea how long I had before I started losing my mind again. I would probably get too large and too violent to live among ponies and with Twilight, and I would be forced to leave. As I chanced a glance back to her, I wondered if the same thought had crossed her mind as well. Was that the reason she was being so distant with me? I turned back just in time to see the next book to be up for reshelving. The Crystal Empire Chronicles. I cringed. Put the book down Spike. Put it down before it makes you remember. Everything that was happening now had been predicted. Seven years ago, deep within the Crystal Palace’s bowels, Twilight and I had come face to face with a magical door created by King Sombra. Through it, I witnessed a sight that would haunt me. Twilight, full of hate and indifference, was sending me away. With a steely gaze and bared teeth, she called me a ‘monstrous dragon’ and demanded I leave before she stuck me down. Bitter tears poured out of my eyes as I desperately tried to understand why Twilight would turn so cold and hateful towards me. It didn’t matter how much I pleaded on my knees though. Without a single hint of hesitation, Twilight shattered everything I had ever known, everything I had ever cared about, with a single phrase: ‘I never loved you, you monster. Leave and never come back.’ I shook the memory off, shutting my eyes as tightly as I could to fight back the almost overwhelming desire to cry. I put the book on the shelf and kept working. When I had only a few books left, I found one I had not expected. It was an old romance novel, one that had been Rarity’s favorite. At the realization, I felt another pang stab my chest. I finished re-shelving the books as swiftly as I could and informed Twilight. As expected, she didn’t look back, only replying with a nod. I rushed for the library’s basement, which had been turned into my personal quarters as soon as I had outgrown my basket bed. As soon as I stepped inside, I tossed myself on my bed face down and let the tears flow out. I… I don’t want to remember her… Rarity had been, in my opinion, the single most beautiful mare I had ever laid eyes on. Her flawless coat, eyes that shone like gemstones, and lips that glistened like flawless crystals. All features that had made her the one mare I swore to seek to the ends of the earth. For eight years, I did just that, sometimes going so far as to do the near impossible just to win her affection. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could never win her love. As the years passed, Rarity and I grew apart. One day, she came bursting into Sugarcube Corner, raving how she had found the stallion of her dreams. Less than a year later, she had wed that lucky stallion. On her wedding day, I told her how I really felt. ‘Oh Spikey-wikie. Your affection really was the only thing that got me through some rather tough times. But darling, in the end you’re a dragon, and I’m a unicorn. I’m sorry, but it was never meant to be. You’ll always be my Spikey-wikie though. Don’t ever forget that.’ After the wedding, I withdrew myself. I did everything I could to change who I was—what I was. I went so far as to beg Celestia to change me into a pony. Her words still stung. ‘Spike, be proud of who you are. Changing your physical look is not going to ease your pain. It will only cause others to dislike you, for you would be lying to them.’ I knew Mom was right, but it had done nothing to ease my woes. In the end, I resigned myself to despair. I watched the world go on without me. It was only when Twilight again promised me to never leave me that I worked through the pain. Six years later, she wouldn’t even turn to look at me. I sat on my bed and wiped the tears. Where had I gone wrong? Had I not been the best assistant a princess could ask for? I gazed at my room’s ceiling. Tell me, Twi. Have I ever failed you? I stood and walked to my own bookshelf. It was filled with old comic books and a couple of light novels. One book stood out in particular: The Tale of Sir Bulwark. I grabbed the beat-up tome, the corners of my mouth rising. Once upon a time, this had been one of my favorite stories to hear at bedtime. It brought back many fond memories of the time I too had been a knight. Twilight’s favorite game growing up had been to pretend to be a princess trapped by a vicious dragon, always in distress and in need of a rescuer. Her brother, Shining Armor, took the role of the brave knight, ready and willing to march into the maw of Tartarus itself to save the princess. That left me as the only one to fill the role of dragon. The dynamic changed when Shining Armor left for the Guard Academy. I graduated to the role of knight, and Smarty Pants took the role of the dragon. The day of my “promotion,” I decided to commemorate myself with a silver-painted cardboard suit of armor. I had been a bit nervous, seeing as I had always played the villain, but once I had gotten into the rhythm of things, I turned into the perfect “gentledragon.” I felt my brow scrunching as I recalled how a group of four bullies—jealous of Twilight’s role as the princess’s protégée—had terrorized her. Without hesitation, I had charged them, not caring about the injuries I would no doubt incur. In the end, even the bruises had been worth just hearing Twilight thank me for my services as the four bullies ran away crying. She had then rewarded her brave silver knight with a kiss on the cheek. Back then, it’d been little more than a simple peck. As I rubbed my cheek, I started to realize it had been more than that. A smile crept on my lips. I should have known things were not that simple. The feelings had started to build soon after Rarity’s wedding. I had chalked it to growth, but I started to see Twilight as the one mare that could love me for what I was. I had said nothing at first out of fear. I was afraid of having my heart torn one more time. It wasn’t until now that I started to realize that keeping quiet had allowed the rift between me and Twi to form. Why is it that we hesitate? Why do we hold on to our emotions for so long? It can’t just be fear that forces us to say nothing. We don’t have much time in our lives. Tomorrow may already be too late to say what your heart wants to say. I know it may be too late for me, at least. Well, no more. I breathed in heavily and turned to face my room’s door. I had been holding on to this truth far too long. I had to tell Twi. I raced out of my room and up the stairs. I entered into the Library’s main room and found Twilight, still looking over the letters, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate. Twilight continued to read and reply to the letters until she finally noticed me almost half a minute later. As soon as she did, she sat up straight, her expression never changing. ‘Spike, there is something we have to talk about,’ she started. Her tone was still distant, almost as cold as the blizzard raging on the other side of the library walls. I felt myself hesitating. I considered going back to my room and staying there. Then I remembered my own thoughts, why I had rushed up here in the first place. I knew there was no turning back now. I swallowed a lump in my throat. ‘Let me say something that’s been bothering me for some time first.’ Even though my emotions swirled uncontrollably in me, I knew I had to speak now. With a resolute exhalation, I steeled myself for what was to come. One final stand against all I fear. One final cry of truth—then I can be at peace. I walked up to Twilight and embraced her as fondly as I could. She was caught by surprise, so much so that she spilled her cocoa. I took in the softness of Twi’s coat and the warmth of her body. My will all but set, I locked eyes with Twi. Before she could even say a word on my hug, I uttered a sentence that I had said many times in the past. Now, it carried the weight of my hopes and dreams in in every single letter. ‘Twilight… I love you. I always have loved you, and I always will.’ I finished off the words with a deep kiss. As I parted, I took in Twilight’s gaze. Eyes wide in shock, and the corners of her lips pointing down. Without warning, she pushed me aside and stood up. She gazed deep into my eyes, her emotions never changing. She closed her eyes and turned away from me. ‘I-I’m s-sorry. Please… just-just leave… leave me alone.’ I tried to retort, but Twilight flinched at my voice, almost as if it hurt her. ‘I… I’ve no need of your services… p-please just… go.’ Twilight said. I felt my eyes moisten as a cold numbness spread across my being. The dark vision that had tormented me for years had come to pass, and I had been its catalyst. No Spike… don’t let Twilight see you crying… Show strength… because deep down… you knew this is how it would end. Be strong. Be strong… I bitterly smiled, even though my body slowly lost the will to stand. Somehow, I managed to keep myself upright—if nothing else, to show Twilight that I had gracefully accepted her answer. That’s when the dark humor of the situation started to sink in. I couldn’t help but agree with the dark vision I had once feared so much. After all, Twilight was a pony, and I was a dragon. Why would she love me? Without a word, I turned and headed for the library’s door. I reached out for the handle, but stopped. Don’t let her see you crying… I turned back to face Twilight one last time. She was still facing away from me, still as a statue. With a bitter chuckle, I finally accepted my fate. ‘Sorry it ended like this. It was an honor to have been your assistant.’ I turned, facing the blizzard raging outside. ‘So long, Princess Twilight.’ I carefully closed the door behind me, claw reluctant to let go of what had been my home for almost eight years. Deep down, I knew there was no turning back now. I headed into the white nothingness, unsure as to where to go next. I guess I could head to Canterlot and let Mom know what happened. But a part of me didn’t want that. The truth was that I didn’t really care. I closed my eyes and let my feet carry me to whatever fate had in store for me now. After what felt like hours of walking, I finally stopped. At last, now that I was as far as I could get from the library, I allowed the tears I had been bottling up to swell out. I gazed upward, watching the sky darken through teary eyes. I barely felt the blizzard intensify. Twilight stood in stunned silence. Her mind was a roaring din, leaving every last one of her thoughts an incomprehensible mess. She should have seen the signs. She and Spike had been inseparable growing up. They two had been through so much together. It was because of him that she never even considered finding the stallion of her dreams. Spike had been such a caring and loving individual that no pony could ever hope to match him. Yet, something happened to them. Was it the two simply growing old? Had it been the realization that they were far too different to ever be together? Had it been the newfound responsibility of leadership given to Twilight?Before she could fully ponder it, Twilight heard the front door to the library open, the roar of the blizzard filling her ears. Spike, no! I didn’t mean it. She heard Spike’s bitter chuckle, his footfalls echoing away from her. Please. I’m sorry. I-I don’t what to say! I-I don’t know what to do. The door creaked shut. The cold air vanished. Come back Spike. I-I… Please, come back. Twilight’s mind continued to swirl chaotically as thousands of different thoughts threatened to drive her insane. She turned to face the door, but could not move her hooves. Please… No, it’s not your fault! What a creep! Love a dragon? That’s illogical! How can I ever love him? He’s your best friend. He’s always been your best friend! A princess and her assistant were never meant to be together. But you love him! ...Love him? Love him. You. Love. Him! Twilight sat on her haunches, tears forming in her eyes. What have I done? She shut her eyes and sobbed. Let him run away! He’s not welcome here anymore. Let him run to Celestia! Chase after him! Know your place, princess! Twilight slammed her hoof on the floor. SHUT UP! She sobbed one more time and looked at the door. She groaned and pushed away every thought in her head until only a single thing remained: Spike, who he was, and what he meant to her. Twilight placed a hoof over her chest, remembering all the wonderful times the two had shared. The two had grown together, learned together, and lived together. Spike was a part of her life that she couldn’t imagine herself without. She loved him just as much as she loved her other friends and the princess. No... Twilight remembered all the times Spike had been there when no one else had. When she was troubled, scared, or in danger, he had been there. He’d always gone the extra mile to make sure she was safe and sound, even if it meant that he suffered for it. And she had repaid that kindness by telling him to leave her. No. It’s more than that... For the last few years, she had started to distance herself from him. It was partially out of concern over his growth, and also partly out of fear of what she felt for him. Still, even after so many others had come and gone, Spike had stayed. He was the sole bastion of the days of old that she had left. When she had ascended to princesshood, he had stayed at her side, seeing her for who she was, and not for the title she had gained. She recalled the fond childhood memories, days when Spike had been her shining knight in lavender scales. How he had stood up for her before she had learned how to. How he had sprung to action when she could not back in the Crystal Empire. Twilight’s eyes shot wide open as a memory she had all but pushed aside flooded back in. It was a memory of a promise, one in which she swore to never send him away, never abandon him. Spike’s greatest fear, one he had likely felt coming true because of her choices. Twilight put her hooves on her head as she came to the harrowing realization that her words earlier had broken the promise. How could she have done something so heartless? It’s because you never loved him in the first place. Twilight bared her teeth and furrowed her brow. That’s a lie! I have always loved Spike! Twilight’s eyes lit up, the tears finally coming to a stop. I have always loved Spike… The corners of her mouth rose as the words repeated themselves over and over in her mind. I have always loved Spike! Twilight stood, wiping her tears and gazing at the door with newfound determination. She had neglected her feelings for far too long. Spike was the most precious thing to her. Out there, in the icy grasp of winter’s fury, was the dragon that had claimed her heart long ago. She opened the library’s door and faced the raging blizzard with newfound resolution. It was now her turn to be Spike’s knight. She stretched her legs and galloped into the white abyss. She wouldn’t lose Spike again. That’s weird… my pain is gone. I stood up and looked all around. The fog was so thick that I could barely see my claws in front of me. This place, it feels warm. That’s impossible though… I looked down at my body. It did not appear any different, though it felt hollow. I crouched and grabbed some of the snow I stood over. It was as warm as grass on a spring day. Just where the heck was I? I heard whispering in the fog. I could not spot anypony else in the white though. The voice sounded so familiar, yet I couldn’t put a claw on just who it was. Still, it beckoned me forward. With no other real choice, I moved towards it. Soon, buildings came into view. I rushed forward and ran my claw over the nearest one. I felt cracks on the surface, as well as what almost felt like glass. I walked to the next building and inspected it, finding more fissures and glass-like material. The fog started to clear as I moved forward, and I saw the full extent of the town’s state. All the buildings looked damaged, a few completely torn to pieces. It looks like a hurricane and blizzard tore right through. Again, I heard that voice. It led me directly into the town’s main square. The only building still standing there was Town Hall, its walls a mixture of its normal architecture and what looked like something crystalline. I walked up to the double doors of the building and noted their frozen state. I placed a claw on the ice to try and find a way to remove it. As soon as I did, the doors just fell apart. Cautiously, I moved forward, gazing all around me in the hopes of understanding just what had happened. Inside, I saw nothing but mounds of snow and icicles, all of which felt warm to my touch. The voice once again emanated from somewhere ahead. I instantly rushed to it. It led me to a beat-up door. I weighed my options, finally letting my curiosity get the better of me. I opened it, not entirely sure what to expect on the other side. I was shocked when I found myself looking at the Golden Oak’s main floor. I rubbed my eyes and took the sight in. Aside all the books being scattered in every direction imaginable, the library looked exactly how I had last seen it minutes ago. Still, something about it felt different. I couldn’t quite put a claw on it. ‘S…p…i…k…e… W….a…k….e… u….p…’ The voice rang clearer this time and had originated from upstairs. I took off chasing after it. As I raced up the stairs, it started to feel as if I wasn’t getting anywhere. What should have taken minutes starts to feel like hours. Eventually, I powered through, and at the very top of the stairs, I saw a white light. With one final step, I entered it. It left me blind of a couple of seconds. When my eyes finally adjusted, I was utterly shocked to find myself not in Twilight’s room as I had expected, but walking down the hall leading to Canterlot Palace’s throne room. Only difference was that, like Ponyville before it, it too looked as if it had been frozen over. The marble pillars were either worn or shattered, and the once brightly colored ceiling looked as if it had been torn apart by strong wings, revealing black clouds and heavy snowfall. The only objects that appeared to have been left untouched by the ravages of whatever had befallen the palace were the stained windows that held the many chronicles of Equestria, from the its earliest struggles against Discord, to the last major event with the Tree of Harmony. As I gazed at the images, I felt a flood of nostalgia fill my being. A lot had happened since Twilight had first moved to Ponyville. As I walked to mother’s throne, I noticed new stained windows I had never seen before. I stopped at the first one. I kind of wish I hadn’t though, as the image terrified me. The centerpiece was clearly a depiction of me. It wasn’t like the one used for when I saved the Crystal Empire, but rather, it was me in my current size and age. Yet, I wasn’t portrayed in a triumphant pose. Instead, I was laid on a casket a white flower gripped in my claws. All around me were the ponies I had come to know as friends: AJ, Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Mom and Auntie Luna were also there, their expressions clearly filled with sorrow. Strangely enough, Twilight was not present at the scene. Instead, she was depicted in the bottom section of the image, alone, her back turned to everypony, including the viewer. I moved ahead to the next image. This one was of Canterlot Castle, enveloped in what looked like a massive lavender bubble. Above it were clouds shaped like ponies, circling, raining down ice over the city. I move ahead, gazing at more and more images. Ice raining down on ponies; blizzards ravaging entire cities; ponies frozen in place as the equine-shaped clouds grew larger and larger. Then I reached the final stained window. Instead of an image, it was blank, almost as if it had been complexly frozen over. I took one step back from it, and I felt the ground shake below my feet. Before my mind could properly process it, the floor gave way to a black abyss that swallowed me whole. I landed on something crystalline. At first, I wondered if I had somehow ended up deep in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When my sight finally adjusted, I found myself desperately wishing I had been correct. Under my very claws were thousands upon thousands of ponies frozen in place, forming a frozen lake. Their expressions stuck in what looked to be complete horror. I looked up and saw eight pyres of ice. My eyes widen as I realized who was trapped in each one. My friends, frozen in place, all turned to each other with faces full of rage. Mom and Auntie Luna, snarling, locked as if ready to pounce on each other. At the very back of the group, I saw the sight that made my blood run completely cold. Twilight, face full of sorrow, hooves wrapped around an orange scarf. My scarf. I fell on my knees. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I was overcome with a freezing sensation I hadn’t felt before. Despair and rage both took over me, further increasing the frigidness all over my body. I looked down as saw ice starting to encase me. The sound of wicked neighing filled the air. ‘S….p…i…k….e… W….a…k…e… u…p…’ That same voice—so soothing and so welcoming. It beckoned me forward, even though I could no longer move. I gazed up and saw a light. It was so warm, so safe. I reached out a claw. The malicious neighing grew louder, becoming a din that nearly drove me insane. Still, I reached out. I had to reach that light. I had to. * * * Slowly, I sensed my eyes open. For a second, I felt as if I it was all still just a dream, but as my vision sharpened, I realized I that I wasn’t stuck in some nightmare. I knew because the first thing I saw was Twilight’s face, eye damp with tears.I slowly tried to sit up, but my body felt too numb to. It didn’t take long for my body to recover its old sensation. A dull, cold pain then struck me, forcing my senses to dapt. The more sensation I regained, the sharper the pain became. Part of me was at least glad I could feel it. It meant that I was still alive. I turned to Twilight, my sight settling on the damp marks running down from her eyes down to her cheeks. The more I saw her, the more I saw the tell-tale sign of a struggle against the elements. Her hair was frizzled and sported patches of frost, and her lips were a slight blue hue. I tried to say something, but my words were cut off when Twilight, breaking into fresh tears, tossed herself over me, embracing me as tightly as she could. Her hug warmed me in a way no fire ever could. As Twilight broke the embrace, I gazed deep into her eyes. Those beautiful amethyst eyes—so full of life and spirit—no longer cold or indifferent—only filled with affection. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I realized what my nightmare had shown me. I finally understood why I could never leave her, or why she could never leave me. She had risked her very life to bring me back to safety, because deep down, she did care for me. I understood that it would take time. Neither of us were ready for where our future would take us, but in the end, that was what made love so powerful. We looked into each other eyes and understood that we had a lot work ahead of us. Strangely enough, the idea filled me with joy. We pressed our foreheads together, accepting what our hearts told us. We had been just been given a gift, on we would try and treasure for as long as we both lived. * * * “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon
