Pickaxe

by a guy with many hats

Rating: mature
Tags: Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Sex, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pie Sisters, Nurse Redheart, Other, Romance
Length: 16321

Peter was hired to do one thing, work on a rock farm. But when he starts to develop a relationship with the owner's daughters, he is forced to balance his work, his relationship, and his well being, all while all while dealing with a zebra curse

Peter was hired to do one thing, work on a rock farm. But when he starts to develop a relationship with the owner's daughters, he is forced to balance his work, his relationship, and his well being, all while dealing with a zebra curse.

Published 2014-04-27 11:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-14 19:52:26 UTC

Red Stain

I laid in the dust as a loud thudding rang in my ears. I felt tired, worn out, amazingly beaten down as I tried to get up. I tried to sit upright several times before giving up and staring up at the pale gray sky above.

I could feel a dampness creep down from my brow, soaking into my hair as the Pies ran over. They were shouting, their words garbled, everything sounding hollow as my ears continued to ring. I tried to read their lips as Igneous Rock, the father of the household, tried to help me up.

Eventually, with a splitting headache taking its place, my ears cleared and I became fully aware of the stream of blood dripping down my face. “Peter, Pete, ya alright?” Igneous asked as I wobbled to my feet. “Pete, you're bleeding.”

I held the start of the blood, pressing my palm against it and stemming the tide. “Better!?” I asked, accidentally yelling, “Sor- sorry, better?”

Igneous looked me over. “Pete, go to the house, get that checked out.”

I looked back at my pickaxe, thrown a few feet away. “What...what happened anyways?”

Igneous shook his head. “Don’t worry about it son, go get yourself fixed up.”

“But I--”

I was cut off as Marble Pie started pressing her hooves into my back, pushing me towards the path back to the house. “Go, get going. We can’t have you passing out this far from the house.” She continued to poke and prod me, herding me towards the house.

I felt like death upon reaching the back porch of the Pie’s rather large house. I sat on the back steps and tried to collect myself. Marble trotted past and into the house. “Stay here, I’ll be back.”

I nodded blearily, stopping half way as the movement aggravated my headache. “Fine- advil, tylenol, something...please.” I begged, leaning against the banister and trying not to pass out. I took a deep breath and clutched my head, the blood drying and caking my head in a crusty layer of disgusting mess.

Marble walked out with the rest of the Pies, Marble and Maud helping to bandage me while Quartz, their mother, held a hoof-full of pills for me. I took the pills from her, throwing them back in seconds. I prayed that they would kick in soon, the Pie sisters bandaging my head were rather rough and the tightness of said bandages was turning my headache from bad to worse.

Once the sisters were done Quartz and Maud disappeared back into the house. Marble sat with me, watching her parents as they walked over, Igneous carrying my pick in his bags. “Peter, it ain’t your fault.” Igneous stated as he stopped a few feet before me. “Ya broke a pick.” He pulled the pick from his bag and tossed it down for me, the tip of it completely missing.

I rubbed the side of my head and stared at the broken pick. “Wait...so what happened?”

Limestone Pie leaned against her father’s head, whispering into his ear. Igneous nodded and walked past me, into the house. Limestone took his place and pointed her hoof to the pick. “You broke it, the tip hit you in the head. Do you need a doctor?”

I took a moment to register her rather direct speech. “Uh...am I still bleeding? Like...a lot?”

Marble leaned forward, peeking at my head. “No, maybe a little, but not bad.” Marble’s speech much less rough and her voice rather pleasing on my possibly concussed mind.

I took a deep breath and pulled myself up by the bannister. “Then I’m fine...I’m okay, let’s get back to it.”

The sisters looked at each other, sharing a concerned glance before blocking off my way back to the rock fields. “Peter...go lay down.” Limestone stated coldly. “Our sister’s supposed to be getting here, we’re all going to take the day off.”

I rubbed my head and looked down at my broken pick. “Uh...I- yeah, can’t work without tools.” I let out a short laugh, getting nothing from the sisters as they started pushing me into the house. “Hey I--”

“Find a seat, sit, be quiet.” Limestone demanded, shoving me towards the Pie’s living room. I knew I would never win an argument with her and found a seat on the communal couch. I plopped down and was immediately joined by Marble.

“I’m fine, really.” I pleaded, trying to gain a little independence.

Marble blinked at me, her dull purple eyes unwavering. “Peter, sit down.”

“I-uh…alright.” I gave up and let my hands rest on my knees. I closed my eyes, trying to rest my pained head.

Marble jabbed my thigh with the tip of her hoof, snapping me awake. “Ah- what!?”

Marble looked at me. “Don’t fall asleep. If you have a concussion, you might die.”

I stared at her, a bit concerned about her somewhat concerned expression. “Uh, okay...sure.” I laid back, my eyes wide open as my head ceased its throbbing. “Marble...can I ask something?”

“Is this about--”

Marble was cut off as a pink blur cartwheeled into the house. “Weeeee!” The blur tumbled past the living room door and into the kitchen. “Hi chair! Hi table! Hi--” The blur took shape, a poofy maned mare was staring me dead in the eyes from the archway. “Oh--my--gosh!” She rolled in and sat before me. “Hi, who are you?”

I looked nervously at the apparently spazztic creature. “Uh, I’m Peter...hello.”

The crazed pink menace started shaking. She was smiled like mad as she bounced around the room. “Hi, hi, hi, hi!” She stood before me, bouncing in place. “Why are you here, do you know Marble, what's that weird hat, what-”

I tuned her out as her shrill voice made my migraine grow worse. “Dear god...stop, please stop, stop, stop, please!”

Marble hopped off the couch and bopped the pink mare on the head, stopping her and leaving her stunned for a few seconds. “Pinkie...he’s hurt, please don’t yell.”

The apparent Pinkie folded her ears back. “Oh, sorry...what happened?” she asked with a genuine innocence that was rather heartwarming.

I scratched the bandaged. “Pickaxe, head, hit.” I clumsily stated. “I’m fine, but my head is killing me.”

“Ooooh, I’m sorry!” Pinkie ran over and hugged my legs. “Are you gonna be okay!?”

I held my hands off her, nervous from how close she was laying her head to my groin. “Uh...I’m fine, mostly fine.”

Pinkie smiled wide, nuzzling my lap before pushing off. “Alright, but you’ve gotta tell me when you’re better!”

I scratched my head as Pinkie rolled out of the room. “Uh...sure.” I turned to Marble. “That was...unique.”

Marble nodded. “She’s very active.”

I watched as Pinkie bounced into the kitchen. “Not the word I would have used. But yeah, I can tell.”

Marble looked towards the kitchen as a loud clatter rang out. “Peter, are you hungry?”

I wiped off my mouth. “I could use a drink.”

Marble took a deep breath and gestured for me to follow her. I got to my feet, better than before but still a bit unstable. Marble lead me into the kitchen and sat me down at a table. I was joined by the entirety of the Pie household as Pinkie bounced about the room, throwing pans and other bits around.

I stared at Maud from across the table. “Uh...Maud, thanks for the help.”

Maud nodded slowly. “You’re welcome.”

I turned to Marble as she sat next to me. “You too.” Marble nodded curtly as a loud bang startled me. “Wha- fuh!?”

“I’ve got it!” Pinkie yelled as a fire extinguisher went off. “Got it!”

I watched as a red cannister flung past and out the door. “Uh...is this--” Maud nodded, staying stoic as a blob of batter pelted the back of her head.

“This is normally how it goes….” She stated coolly, Pinkie smiling cheekily as she tried to get the batter out of Maud’s mane.

I just sat quietly, holding Marble’s hoof under the table as I tried to cope with my headache. We’d been trying to make things work.

I’d met her when I came over, it was her that hired me, it was her that took me off the streets. It was only natural that things developed.

I knew that Quartz knew, but Igneous was blissfully ignorant. The other Pie sisters had expressed some interest, but for now, I just needed to keep working and figure things out.

“Done!” Pinkie’s voice cut off my thoughts, followed quickly by a large platter slamming down before us all. “Dig in!”

I stared at the steaming pie as the Pies slowly took little bits from the over sized confection. I found myself schmoozed upon by Pinkie as she plated a huge slice for me, setting it down before me and smiled wide. “It’ll help you feel better!”

I stared at the amazingly sugary treat. I felt guilty as everyone else started eating their platefuls. I slowly tried the red gooey pie, taking a single bite and stopping dead.

It was delicious, but horribly sugary. I swallowed the warm jelly and tried not to vomit from the the overly sweet mess. “Ish- Great….” I grunted as I swallowed. “Really good...but I ca--”

Marble poked my leg. I knew what she meant and I took a deep breath. I was stared down by Pinkie, smiling wide as I ate the rest of the pie. I finished it, quickly standing up and making myself dizzy. “I gotta- uagh--” I nearly fell, grabbing a chair and holding myself up.

Marble stood up and pressed into my side. “Thank you Pinkie. You can take my room for the week.”

“I don’t- what does--” I muttered as Marble started leading me out of the kitchen. I stumbled along blearily as Marble lead me outside and towards my house. The Pies had provided me with an old loft room in the silo.

Marble lead me into the silo and leaned me against the wall. “We can sleep down here tonight.” She started climbing up to the loft, dragging down a few blankets. “I don’t want you climbing up there.”

I slunk down and sat on the wall of the silo. “Marble just go sleep in my bed. I know I’m not gonna make it up there, but you should--”

She stared me down. “Peter...lay down.”

“Marble--”

“Lay down.” She demanded, patting her hoof on a blanket.

I laid across the floor of the silo and just laid there. “Marble just go use the bed...I just wanna be on the floor and be sad….”

Marble walked over, dragging my blanket across the floor and throwing it over me. She brought another blanket, settling in behind me and wrapping her hooves around my neck. She nuzzled my hair as she settled in.

“Peter...how long have you been here now?”

I relaxed and laid on the floor. “I don’t know...a month?”

“You keep getting hurt…. Pa said not to tell you...but we’re hiring a nurse for you.”

“No…Marble that’s--”

“She’s coming soon. And it’s coming out of your pay.”

I let out a soft groan. “I- fine…. I don’t even know what happened today! I was working, then bam I was on the ground!” I rubbed my head. “But my pay wouldn’t cover a nurse...I can’t take your money...it’s not right.”

Marble snuggled against the back of my head. “You’re bringing in a lot of money. You can pick rocks we can’t.”

“But you could hire someone better!”

“You’re staying...you’re getting help...now just get some rest. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

I reached my hand back, running my hand through Marble’s mane. “Thanks...a lot. I don’t mean just this, I mean...well everything. I gue--”

“Go to bed...Pinkie’s gonna want to watch you tomorrow, so get some sleep.”

“I’m allowed to work tomorrow?” I asked with a laugh. “I said I’d work today.”

I felt Marble kiss the back of my head. “Get some rest before you get really hurt.” She joked, rubbing my cheek with her hoof.

I settled down, resting my pained head as Marble’s muzzle was buried into my hair.

Pink Sense

I woke up with a jump. "Aaah!" I flung my arms out, nearly punching Marble in the jaw. “Oh god, I’m sorry!”

Marble let out a short sigh. “Falling again?”

“Every night! I just--”

“Peter, it’s fine.” She got up and walked towards the door. “You need to wash, you smell like sweat and blood.”

I grew an incredulous look. “I- oh- yeah...that’s...pungent.”

Marble nodded thoughtfully. “Can you go up to your loft?”

I rubbed my head, my headache nearly gone. “Yeah, I can make it. Same place as usual?”

Marble nodded once again. “I’ll make sure the water’s hot.”

“Thanks..I lov--” Before I could finish Marble kicked the door to the silo closed. “...Alright….” I was left alone, scorn from my morning formalities. I didn’t blame her, the crusty feeling in my hair and the smell of dried blood and sweat was rather disgusting.

I hurried up the steps to the loft, grabbing a new outfit and a towel before heading down and out towards my hidden little washing area. I had found a place surrounded by boulders, and hidden away from the main house.

I waited for Marble, getting undressed and throwing my things atop a rock to keep them dry. Marble started calling for me from outside my little enclosure. “Peter, you ready?”

“Yep I--” I stopped myself as not just Marble, but Maud squeezed through the gap. “Uh...so...hi.”

Maud stared down at my groin as Marble unloaded a pair of buckets from her harness. “You said it would be bigger….” Maud stated, attitude as cold as the winter air.

“It’s cold alright!” I grumbled, picking a rag out of the bucket and starting to wash myself. “Marble why did you bring her?!”

Marble looked at Maud, her gaze unwavering as I tried to turn away. “She said she wanted to. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

I let out a defeated sigh. “It’s fine...I know how this is gonna work…. I mean, I’m not about to complain...but it takes some getting used to.”

I took my time, washing my body as Maud and Marble sat a foot away and watched. I tried to ignore them. “He’s strong….” Maud stated suddenly. “Could he do it?”

Marble looked to her sister. “Two, yes...three, maybe.”

I let out a worried groan as I turned away. I felt like a seal being circled by sharks. “So uh...what does that mean?”

Marble walked over and rested her chin on my leg. “How many mares can you handle? Be honest.”

“Heaaaugh” I let out a strangely scared noise, ignoring her and washing myself off. “I uh...not gonna worry about that right now.”

Maud joined Marble, resting her chin on my other leg. “He’s nervous.”

“No shit!” I stated dryly. “Go figure I’d feel a little scared around you two! I’ve seen you break rocks with your damn hooves!” I threw my rag over my shoulder. “It’s fucking terrifying being naked around you….”

Maud stared lazily at me. “Why?”

“I don’t get it either.” Marble noted, looking up at me. “Why do we make you nervous?”

“Are you scared you couldn’t handle us?”

“Is it because you’re small?”

“He is rather--”

“Fucking hell!” I jumped upright, kicking my bucket over. “Stop it! I’m not small, I’m not scared, I just wanted to bathe in peace!” I huffed angrily, tempted to crawl out of the rock enclosure and hide in my loft.

“But you are small.” Maud said, once again unfeeling and unemotional. “It’s okay…it’s not--”

I took a deep breath and grabbed my shrunken member. The cold air was making it rather difficult to keep it up, but a splash of warm water brought me to full.

Marble smiled softly while Maud just stared. “Oh...okay….”

I let out a sharp huff. “I told you...I’m not small.”

Maud closed her eyes and nodded slowly. “Okay….”

I glared angrily at Maud as I sat down, resuming my wash. The sisters walked around and sat before me. “Seriously?”

The sisters nodded in tandem, Marble vastly outpacing Maud. “Seriously.”

Maud got brave, walking to me and pressing her muzzle against my tip. “Hey, what the fu--”

“Hmm...weird.” Maud stated, not removing her face from my groin. “May I?”

I was stunned, left staring like an idiot. “Are you asking--”

Marble scooted closer. “She’s asking to tas--”

“I figured! Is that normal!? I mean- this is creepy shit!”

“I’m going to….” Maud warned, slowly opening her mouth.

I watched with a mix of horror and excitement as she held her open mouth before my tip. I let out a soft grunt as she dipped forward taking me into her mouth, pressing her warm tongue against the bottom of my tip. I took a shallow breath as she took her time, sampling my flesh. “I uh...alright...I’m okay with th--”

I heard it first, a loud, kssschu, breaking the silence of the dull grey morning. I felt an amazing crunch just around the bottom of my head, Maud’s mouth closing like a bear trap and biting down hard on my head.

“Mother fuck!” I screamed, jumping back, my tender flesh scraped along Maud’s teeth. I fell backward, landing on a pebble and falling into a pained heap. I curled up in the dirt as my cries of pain filled the air. I felt my eye water, my right eye tearing up as I tried to cover my hurt penis.

Marble and Maud walked over. Maud taking the initiative. “I’m sorry...that was sudden.”

I let out a long, drawn out, groan. “Maaaarble...just go...just go...please just go….”

The sisters looked around for a bit before walking out. I took my time, tending to my new wound and finishing my wash. Once clean I gingerly put my boxers on and got dressed.

I felt terrible, my head thumping lightly and my cock now bitten. But I had work to do. I finished up, leaving the buckets and old clothes in the rock hutch.

I loped towards the silo and found a pickaxe. I needed to get to work before anyone else could say anything. Pickaxe in hand, glove on, safety glasses on, I was ready to go. I ran out to my previous work area and found my previous night’s blood stain.

I ignored it and reeled my pick back, slamming it down against the bare rock and tearing a chunk of stone out. I reeled back, continuing the motion and reducing the boulder into rubble. I just needed to get to the center, grab whatever ore or crystal that was inside, and move on.

“Peeeeeeteeeer!” A shrill voice call out, “Wait for me!”

I stopped my work and turned around. Pinkie was bolting over, smiling as she ran after me. She skidded to a stop, bumping into the boulder and smiling at me. “Hello there...can you move?”

Pinkie stare up at me with a wide smile. “Good morning, are you better!?”

I moved Pinkie out of the way and reeled my pick back. “I’m working, that’s all I can ask for.” I slammed my pick down, tearing apart the stone once again.

Pinkie started jabbering and twitching as she watched me work. “Uh...Petey, can I see that?”

I stopped working and stared down at her. “I’m kind of using it.” I reeled back and slammed my pick down once again. Pinkie jabbered once again, her leg kicking out and smacking into a small rock behind her. “Are you alright?”

Pinkie stopped her kicking. and shook her head. “Can I see that, I really, reeeeaally, want to see it.”

“Just let me finish this up.” I reeled back, ready to strike when my pick suddenly lost all the weight. I ended up throwing the pick over my shoulder, slamming the empty handle into the stone. “I- what the fuck?!”

I looked around, spotting Pinkie holding the head of my pickaxe. I could just stare, jaw slackened like an idiot. “See, I knew it!”

I tossed my tool aside and yanked the metal head from her hoof. “How the hell did this happen?”

Pinkie was beaming proudly. “See, you always gotta trust the Pinkie sense.”

I tried to forced the broken pick back together, failing and throwing the broken tool into a heap. “Piece of crap.” I turned to the boulder and lifted my boot.

Pinkie started jabbering and sputtering. “Wait!” She yelped.

I ignored her and slammed my foot down against the boulder. Pinkie grabbed me by my belt and yanked me away. I felt my foot slip out of my boot as she tumbled me.

I rolled away from her and stood up. “What’s the- oh….” i looked back to my boot, a bright white crystal skewering the toe. “Uuuuh….”

Pinkie grabbed me by the collar. “Always, always, always, trust the Pinkie sense.”

I stood on my good boot and yanked my torn one off the crystal. “Apparently...what the hell was that?”

Pinkie walked over to the rock and broke a piece of crystal off. “Hmmm, pure quartz…. That’s worth a lot!” Pinkie tossed her hooves up, throwing the crystal into the air. “-oh- tail twitchin.” She shoved me out of the way as the crystal landed before me. She stared at the crystal before frowning. “You have the best worst luck I’ve ever seen!”

“So it would seem.” I went to pick up the pick head and try to dig out the crystal. “Anyways thanks for you--”

“Leg wobble, knee jerk, ear twitch.”

“Wha--” I tripped and fell gut first onto a rock. I rolled off it, winded, and laid in the dust.

Pinkie trotted over and sat next to me. “Are you okay?”

I held my stomach and tried to keep from crying from the pain. “Great...perfect.”

Pinkie tapped her hoof to her chin. “I’ve never seen bad luck like this! Did you ever meet any zebras?”

I took a deep breath and sat upright. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Already!” A rough voice called out. “The Pies were right, you do get hurt like crazy!” A pale red maned pony trotted briskly over. “What happened now?”

I took a moment to spot the nurse’s hat. I was both thankful and horridly depressed as she lifted my shirt up. “I’m fine...it’s--”

“You’re bleeding a little.” The nurse stated, pulling something from her bag and putting it on my stomach. “You, what happened?” She asked Pinkie as I stared into the sky.

“He tripped.”

The nurse let out a short, angry, huff. “Of course he did. You know I told them it wouldn’t be worth hiring me for one human, I told them I wouldn’t get enough work, but boy was I wrong….” She finished up by placing something under my back. “There. Hey, would you mind helping me?”

Pinkie smiled wide before leaving my view. I was left staring into the sky as I was dragged away, sliding over a sled of some sort as the ponies pulled me away. The nurse cleared her throat. “How long have you been up?”

“Like...two hours….”

The nurse groaned. “Oh yeah...this is gonna be great.”

Things got quiet as I tried to fall asleep, to make the pain pass faster. I was unable and simply sat there until we reached the house. I was unloaded and forced inside. The nurse introduced herself and made me rest for the day.

I stood in the hall of the Pies’ house, arguing my ability to keep working. “Igneous I just hit a load of quartz, at least let me go finish!”

Igneous shook his head. “Nope, girls’ll take care of it. You go rest yourself up.”

If there was one pony I could never argue with, it was Igneous. I walked up to my loft and flopped down on my bed. A shrill bouncing sound rang out as the stairs up to my loft squeaked.

Pinkie hopped up, rolling into my room and staring at me as I laid sadly in bed. “Hi!”

I buried my face in my pillow. “Hello Pinkie...did you need something?”

“So you’re Maud’s and Marble’s and Limestone’s special friend?!”

I let out a strange groan, laughing slightly at my own misfortune. “Apparently?”

“Soooo, you like Pies...I’m a Pie!”

“Look can you not, at least not right now...I just wanna lay here and be useless.” I moaned as Pinkie walked over.

“Ooooh, don’t be a party pooper!” Pinkie cheered as she crawled into my bed and curled up atop my back. “You’re just a little unlucky!”

I let out a long sigh as Pinkie warmed my back. I tried to relax as the poofy mare snuggled against me. I spent the rest of the day just laying in bed and being generally useless. Pinkie kept me company until she switched places with Marble.

Then Marble swapped with Maud.

Then Maud with Limestone, until finally night fell and the entire family of Pie sisters joined my, wrapping around me and overwhelming my twin bed.

I had no idea what they were doing, but my slight depression made me more than willing to be piled on by a group of sympathetic warm bodies.

Silver Stars

Author's Note

Silver Stars

I swung my pick into a new trench the Pies were having me dig. Pinkie was sitting above as I picked away at the wall, expanding my working area.

"oOooooOooooh!" Pinkie mumbled, her leg working like a jack rabbit. "Umm, Petey, can I...can you--"

I brought my pick up, ready to strike. "Can I what--" I slammed my pick down, sparking something and causing a loud bang to blow my hearing out. My pickaxe flew from my hands, flying out of the trench and into the fields.

I sat, freshly deafened, and tried to crawl out of the pit. My arms were amazingly sore as I clawed my way out of the pit and onto my back. I stared up at the dust clouded sky and let out a rough cough.

I could see Pinkie, mane riddled with dust and debris as she worriedly pressed her forelegs into my chest and babbled noiselessly.

I rubbed my ears. Pinkie, stop, I'm fine! I screamed, my voice completely silent. Pinkie's lips continued to move a mile a minute while I just laid in the dust. What!?

"Oh my gosh that was crazy, Petey, are you okay, can you--" Her voice cut out again mid sentence. I got to my feet, horribly wobbly as I spotted Nurse Red Heart running over.

She sprinted over and pulled me down by my collar. "Peter!? Can you hear me!?"

I wiggled my finger in my ear. "What!?"

Red Heart licked her hoof and pressed it against my ear. "Hold your nose and blow!"

I followed her faint instructions and felt my ear pop. I let out a sharp gasp as my hearing cleared. "Holy shit- whoa, what happened?"

Pinkie shoved Red Heart out of the way. "You- you- you swung your thingy, then all the sudden, boom! Your pick went flying and a huge bunch of dust flew out of the hole!"

I repeated the process with my other ear, completely clearing my senses. "What...I- did I just explode!?"

The rest of the Pies ran over, Maud trotted slowly over and duck her head into the trench. "Methane...." She stated dryly as the other pies walked over.

I wiped off my face, smearing a bit of blood from my nose. "What- methane?"

Maud trotted over and helped me up. "Small pocket, everything should be fine...."

I rubbed my nose, making sure I wasn't still bleeding. "But- that- fuck!"

Pinkie started giggling. "Petey, you have the worst luck I have ever--"

Limestone trotted back over. "He found silver." She dropped a piece of pure silver before her father. "His pick split a silver seam."

I stared slack jawed as Igneous picked up the white mineral and looked it over. "Yep...that's silver." He tucked it into his bag, took off his hat and walked up to me. He pushed his hat onto my head, his balding head exposed as he walked off.

The Pie sisters surrounded me as their father wandered back towards the house. "Uh...I- is this a good thing?" I asked, turning Igneous' hat over in my hands. "I feel like this is a good thing?"

The sisters stared at me with a gradient of smiles, Maud ending with an almost undetectable smirk. "Super, special, amazing!" Pinkie bounced around me. "Oh- but...I sent a letter to my bestest friend in Ponyville...and...I need you to come with me...back...to Ponyville, you know." Pinkie stated with a wide smile. "Like...soon.... I can't have my new best boy friend getting hurt all the time!"

I cocked my head, debating her meaning of boy friend in my head. "I uh...should probably get back to--"

Red Heart stared me down, shaking her head. "Mmm-mmm."

"But--"

"Mmmm-- Mmmm" Red Heart asserted wordlessly. "You just got blow out of a pit, and as your nurse, stay the bucking hell out of the field today." Her gaze was assertive, but not angry. "Seriously Peter, no more, your body can only handle so much damage a day."

I ran my finger through my hair, putting Igneous' hat on. "So...Pinkie...what did you need?"

Pinkie smiled wide. "I!" She said, striking a heroic pose.

I stared at her as she held her pose. "You...?"

"Have an idea!" She stated, stamping her hooves. "Come on!" She bolted off towards the house.

I looked down as the other Pies started joining her. I grabbed Limestone and walked with her. "So uh...you know her better than I do. Is she gonna like...rape me, or kill me?"

Limestone cocked an eyebrow and bumped me with her flank. "No more than me...."

"Eeugh. Should I be worried?"

Limestone wrapped her tail around my leg. "A little."

I felt my stomach twist at her flippant remark. "Uh...well...it will be a glorious death."

Limestone huffed. "I'm not like Maud...I have...." She started getting slightly red. "Emotions...."

I made airquotes. "Emotions. You're as stoic as...uh...not as bad as Maud...but still--"

"You've never even spent a night with me...you're Pie property now...and you have, duties...now--"

We bumped into Marble as Limestone had her tail wrapped around my leg. Marble glared at Limestone. "You know...we've been waiting until he stops getting hurt...."

"Uh Mar--"

Limestone let go of my leg. "It was your idea to share...are you saying you two haven't slept together yet?"

"I--"

"So what if we haven't...I met him first, I get the first night." Marble snapped back.

I was left standing behind the two bickering sisters. I decided to walk off before it devolved into an all out shit storm. Making my way to the house I was greeted by Pinkie with an extremely wide smile. "Petey, hi!"

I waved to her as she ran over. "Pinkie, hi."

She let out a strange squee and broadened her smile. "You ready to go!?"

I looked around. "Go where?"

She let out a shallow snort before giggling. "Ponyville silly, we're gonna find out why you're so unlucky!"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I think I'm just unlucky...."

Pinkie shook her head, a weird jangling coming from nowhere. "Well then we're going to pick up tools, then to figure out why you're so unlucky!"

I stared at her, rather confused. "That's...I uh.... I really want to complain, but my pickaxe did just explode...."

"See! And you can come visit the Cakes! Oh- and Fluttershy, and Twilight, and Rainbowdash, and--"

"Pinkie, I get it!" I yelped, "My ears still hurt..so...silence is golden."

Pinkie's expression flattened as she dragged her hoof along her lips, another strange zipping sound coming from the eather. "Gottcha. Now let's go." She whispered, leading me towards the path out of the rock farm and towards the train.

I played with Igneous' hat as we walked. "So Pinkie...we never really...talked...did we?"

"Nope!" She chirped happy as can be.

I rubbed the brim of her father's hat. "So...I'm Peter...child of a French couple...I guess...what am I to Marble? Like...am I just a concubine?"

"Concuwhat?"

I shook my head as we walked towards the train station. "She- we- she said Maud and Limestone wanted to join the relationship...so does that make me...like...what, what does that make me?"

"Uuuuum...I don't know...a hubby, a suuuper hubby? And, how do you like the rock far--" She stopped as her right hoof shot out, tripping her. "Whoa...that's funky."

We walked up to the train platform and stood near the edge. "So Pinkie...I mean...is it normal? I've known Marble a while, but the others just...it was very...not romantic."

Pinkie smiled knowingly. "Well, I like you, I like romance...we could--" She stopped again as her tail shot up and her back hooves tapped on the concrete landing. "Peter!"

"Wha--" I tried to turn to her, falling towards the train tracks. I saw my death fast approaching as Pinkie yanked me back onto the platform. "Ooooooh, my god!" I yelled, utter panic in my voice. "Holy shit...Pinkie...Pinkie...I love you...I love you so much...." I sat on the platform and laid out on the cold floor.

Pinkie let out a girly squeal as she bounced on her hoof tips. "I love you too!"

I felt my heart go weak as I realized how close I was to death. "Pinkie...I think I just wanna be on the floor...I just wanna be on the ground right now."

Pinkie stared over me, her wide smile turning to a frown. "But...the train's here."

I took a deep breath and reached into my pocket. "Wallet...buy tickets...please." I handed Pinkie my wallet and got to my feet. "I'm gonna find a seat...and...contemplate life."

"Oooooooohkay." She trotted off towards the near empty booth and bought a pair of tickets as I hobbled weakly into the train. I found a seat and collapsed.

Pinkie found me and rested herself against my chest as she nestled in. "Pinkie...stop saving me please...I just...if it happens again I'm gonna have a heart attack."

"You can't have a heart attack yet! We barely met!"

I took a deep breath and rubbed Pinkie's belly, making her giggle. "One...of a kind." I grumbled, my breath patchy and strained. I snoozed as my hand idly rubbed pink belly, on a train to a new town and yet more hazards.

Black Stripes

"Peter, Petey, Petey, Petey, wake up!" Pinkie shouted me awake, making me bolt upright.

"What, where, what happened!?"

Pinkie rolled backwards on the floor of the train and onto her hooves. It was rather acrobatic, but also just a little creepy. "We're here."

"Ponyville?"

"Yes, how'd you- oh wait, I told you!" She started snickering happily and bounded towards the exit. I followed slowly behind her and stepped out of the train. My foot fell out from under me as I underestimated the drop from the train to the platform, screaming like an idiot as my foot slammed down a few extra inches and tripped me. I stumbled out of the train, getting stared at by a rather large group of ponies and humans. I could feel my cheeks start to burn as I realized how loud I had yelled.

"The step...I...falling...." I continued to babble as Pinkie started pulling me off the platform. "I just...thought...gonna fall to my--"

"Peter." Pinkie called out to me, pulling my head down. "Look at me...."

I did. About a minute passed before I had to look away from her. "Uh...Pinkie...don't we have somewhere to go?"

"Yes...."

Another minute passed before I grew uncomfortable. "Uh...Pinkie...can you let go?"

"Peter...don't question it...." Pinkie whispered, her stare intensifying. She slowly pulled my a foot to the left.

A loud crack rang out, shattering my nerve and making me jump. "Fuck a duck!" I flung myself free of Pinkie and fell onto my ass. I could see scorch marks on the ground I was stood on.

"Whoa, that's not supposed to happen!" A brash voice called out from above. Before I could right myself a bout of rain came down on the spot, splashing me and soaking my side. It promptly stopped as the voice grew louder. "That's freaky!"

A light blue pegasus slammed down on the damp spot next to me and tapped her chin. Pinkie bounce over and hugged her. "Rainbow Dash, meet Petey! He's cursed!"

"I'm not-," I looked over my current predicament. "...alright, fine, I'm fucking cursed."

Rainbow Dash frowned hard. "That sucks."

"Indeed." I snapped back immediately.

Rainbow Dash nodded hard. I returned it right back. She pulled away from Pinkie and got face to face with me. She gave me a heavy nod, I returned it in kind.

Little by little we started bobbing our heads one after another. "Doop...doop...boop...." We looked like idiots, bobbing our heads in the middle of the street. Eventually she stopped and smiled. "Yeah, we're friends."

"Cool." I noted, bopping her hoof and standing up. "Guess today isn't all bad after all."

"Heck no, not when I'm around!" Rainbow Dash gloated, putting her hoof to her chest in a grandeous gesture.

"Sooooo, we should probably go...." Pinkie butt in, pulling me down the road. "Twilight might know what to do." She yanked me away from Rainbow Dash, down the street and towards the center of town. Ponies didn't seem to mind me, and after my humorous introduction I was feeling better about myself.

I kept a brisk pace behind Pinkie, not wanting whatever misfortune was following me. I caught up with Pinkie, sticking by her side and hoping she would intercept any deadly coincidences.

"Hey Pinkie...how do you tell when bad--" She bumped me with her flank, knocking me aside as a filly unicorn ran past, her horn at skewering height with my groin. "Eeeugh! See, how do you know that!?"

"Easy!" She chirped, trotting, if not skipping, away.

I stood on the path, staring at the slightly chubby mare ran off. "I...but...alright then." I decided to simply accept it and followed her. I ended up walking behind her, staring at a chubby backside, bouncing as Pinkie walked. I felt a little shameful, growing a little excited at the bouncing pinkie flesh before me. It also made me wonder how she was so squishy looking, while you could bounce quarters off of the other Pie sisters.

"Hey Pinkie...you mind if I ask--"

"Cakes, muffins, love."

"Bullshit!" I yelled, grabbing my head as I ran after her. "There's- no, fuck you! How- I- What the fuck!?"

"Hey!" Pinkie snapped around. "Watch your mouth, ya Jabroni."

I froze in place, my mind buffering as it tired to comprehend her. I rubbed my head and moved on, muttering angrily to myself. "Tu sono lo jabroni. Hai un--"

"Ti capisco,"

"But- I- fine...just...whatever." I huffed angrily, beaten at my own game. "But at some point you're gonna have to explain things!"

Pinkie started giggling. "Maybe, maybe not!" Pinkie strolled up to a tree with a door in it and started knocking. "Twiiiiilight, open up!" She shrieked, making me flinch. "Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twi--" A disheveled looking mare pulled the door open. "Hi!"

"Pinkie, I was...busy." Twilight tried to fix her mane. "Who's this?"

Pinkie sniffed at the slightly frazzled mare. "Twilight! How saucy!"

Twilight started growing red around the cheeks. "How--"

"She's a witch." I cut in. "Hi, Peter Dufort, she's a damn witch or something!"

Twilight looked me over, slowly holding my hoof for her. "Twilight Sparkle, and she's more of a- what do you call them? Gypsies?"

I snapped my fingers and pointed at Pinkie. "She is like a gypsy, like a fortune teller!"

Pinkie had gotten distracted by a bird and was chirping at it. "Um, Pinkie," Twilight called out to her, catching her attention and catching her off guard. "Did you need something? You kind of interrupted something...."

Pinkie cartwheeled over with a serious expression. "Curses."

Twilight looked confused. "Curses?"

Pinkie grabbed me by my collar. "He's cursed. Can you figure out why?"

Twilight looked at me, her face a bit concerened. "Are you serious? Are you actually cursed?"

I wiggled free of Pinkie. "Well in the last few days I've been hit in the head three times, had my tools break ten times, been blown up, stabbed by a nail, and my tackle got bit."

Twilight craned her head back. "Oh...that does sound bad." Twilight backed up, holding the door open for us. Pinkie pulled me inside the tree, almost bashing a lizard as we walked inside.

"Whoa hey!" The lizard yelped, running out from under me as I stumbled. "Sorry, whoa- sorry!" He scrambled off and left me to collect myself.

After a short bout of stumbling I managed to steady myself. "God damn, I feel like I'm wearing socks on a waxed floor!"

Twilight shook her head. "I don't get it. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to--" Twilight's horn graced my arm, sending an amazing charge of magic through my body.

My mind flashed with sights of tender lesbians growing more and more forceful, a DVD remote being abused, and the smell of book paper. It was fleeting, and quickly replaced with an amazingly hearty surge of electricity pulling at my muscles like a puppet on a string. My body twitched and spazmed as Twilight's horn pressed against my arm. She wasn't faring much better, somehow getting connected to the circuit and joining me in my amazingly twitchy experience.

I felt my muscles tighten hard under a final heavy pulse. My entire body went limp as the electrical pulse wore off, flooring me. I laid on the cold ground, trying to relax as my body regained feeling. I felt amazing, my muscles were exhausted, but it was a calm, sleepy exhaustion.

It wasn't until I tried to move that I realized the price for my comfort. "I...." I laid my head back as the warm seep turned quickly cold. The electricity running through my body and the flashes of porn had made me cream my pants like an idiot.

I could see Twilight's backside dampen as she hit the floor next to me. "Whau? What happened?"

I rolled onto my front, my member marinading in my own mess. I didn't say anything, I just crawled towards a corner and covered my face with my forearms. I just laid on the floor, lamenting my existence at the wetness in my pants turned cold and sticky.

"Peter...sad and on the ground?" Pinkie asked, illiciting me to nod my head softly. "He just wants to be on the floor."

Twilight slowly got to her hooves. "I- oh...I see...I'll be right back."

The sound of hooves filled the room as Twilight's grew farther away and Pinkie's grew closer. Before I could say anything I felt a hoof press into my back and start making circles. "You alright Petey?"

I didn't answer, I just laid on the floor like a sad sack of crap. Pinkie continued to rub my back. I endured her pity and waited for her friend to return.

Eventually, as my jizz dried, Twilight walked back in. "Okay...so...that was- Anyways, let me just...." She trailed off just as a tingling sensation enveloped my entire body. "Whoa- I- wow...I'll be back again." Twilight's hooves slammed against the floor and out of the building.

I was left at Pinkie's mercy until her return, and not wanting that, I called upon the shock induced exhaustion and fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of loud metallic rattling. A quick, if hazy, look around found me on a train. "What the hell?"

Pinkie curled up around my side. She was hugging me, pressing her head up into my ribs as she laid across the train seat. "It's not permanent!" Pinkie yelled, not caring about being in a train. Granted the train car was completely empty, but still. "You should have seen it, Zecora came and she was all, Of this curse, there is no cure. Time will tell, if he can endure. And Twilight was all, Aww. And then she hugged you really tight for a few seconds, and said to get you back home!"

I tried to clear the sleep from my eyes. "Why didn't you wake me up!?"

Pinkie's ears flopped down. "Well...I thought...sorry, I thought you just wanted to be sad."

I lowered my head. "Well I'm sad now...." I shifted in my stained boxers. Thankfully it didn't seep through. "Pinkie when someone's about to tell me what's wrong with me, I think you can wake me up."

"Sorry." Pinkie groaned, holding me even tighter. "I'm really sorry."

I pushed Pinkie off of me and sat her down. "Pinkie...don't hug me right now. I'm really gross, and I don't want to have to expose you to that. I forgive you, you helped me out, and apparently this isn't permanent." I took a deep breath. "Now hold long did she say it would last?"

"Four months."

I turned away from Pinkie, staring straight forward. "I'm going to die...."

White Spurt

Marble got out of bed. "Maud's coming up...are you ready?"

I grumbled and pulled my covers over my body. "Marble...can't you just tell her my leg's broken?"

Marble nodded. "I can...but she'll ride your face instead...."

I let out a long huff. "Marble...help me...." I crawled to the end of my bed and grabbed her leg. "Marble...please...I'll do whatever you want, but Maud...Maud's not gentle...."

Mable pulled free. "I'll tell her to take it easy...you'll be-...you'll be fine." With that shaky reassurance she walked off.

"Marble, you're killing me, you are killing me!" I pissed and moaned as Marble walked down the steps of my loft. "Marble wait, I didn't mean it! ...Fuck...."

I laid in bed as a loud plodding turned into a creaky groan from the steps up to the loft. I steeled myself as Maud's undeniable steps grew closer and closer. "Breath...just breath...you'll be-" Maud appeared in the doorway. "-I'm going to die...shit...I'm going to die!"

"Peter...hello." Maud greeted me with her usual stoic speech. "Are you ready?"

"No damn it!" I buried my head in my pillow and let out a short groan. "Maud, my pelvis hurts...."

Maud walked to the side of my bed and blinked at me. "You can be on top...."

I plastered myself against my bed. "Maud, that doesn't help!"

Maud just stared at me. "It's my turn...." She put her hooves on my bed. "Please?" Her voice was still just as dull, eyes lazy, expression blank.

I took a deep breath and slid out of bed. "I never wanted this. It's too much pressure!" I pulled open my dresser and found a bottle of pain killers. "Don't ponies have something for this? Like...some stamina potion or something?"

Maud shrugged as I tossed the pills into my mouth and swallowed. "Maybe...do you need it?"

I shook my head and sat with my back against the dresser. "Probably." Things got quiet as Maud walked over. "Just, give it time to kick in, then...you can do whatever you want to do."

Maud looked at me, staring into my soul before lunging at me and wrapping her hooves around my head. "Thank you." She nuzzled the side of my head, in what might be the most animated I've ever seen her.

I hugged her back, digging my fingers in against her soft slate grey coat. "Yeah...thank you too.... I know how this works...it's not love...it's just...part of the deal...."

"No." Maud stated loudly. "...Do you really think that?"

"Well it seems like it!"

Maud broke off the hug and stepped back, her dull gaze boring through my head. "...." Stared me down, reaching into my soul with her dull turquoise eyes.

I grew uncomfortable under her gaze. "I uh...it's not?"

"...."

"You could say something!" I started panicking a bit. "Maud!?"

Maud just stared. "If you think this is just about sex, I can leave."

I sat there like an idiot. "Maud wait...that was.... I- I know it's not just a sex thing with Marble. For god's sake she's the reason I'm not face down in a ditch. But...you gotta understand how this looks from my perspective!"

Maud trotted over and sat before me. "Explain."

I rolled my wrist. "Normal relationships are, one person, to one person. Nice and intimate, bit of romance from time to time. But this is just me getting tossed around by three sisters! Only one taking the time to talk to me outside of work and...this."

Maud stared at me, unblinkingly. "So what...you think I don't care?"

I rubbed my neck. "Well if you do, you're sure not letting on about it."

Maud shifted closer to me. "I'm not that...loud. But...I'm expressive."

I looked away from her, the wooden floor creaking as I moved. "You're not...Maud, you're stoic...like...a rock."

"Rocks are expressive."

"...They're not though." I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my elbows on them. "They're rocks."

Maud just sat there. "You don't think I'm expressive?"

"Define expressive. You wear a dress, which is expressive in a passive way...but actively...no, you're about as dull as granite."

Maud looked out the window. "You want me to be like Pinkie?"

"No!"

"Then what?"

We sat there, staring at each other. In the quite grey morning we sat alone, staring at each other for close to an hour. "Maud...what are you thinking?"

Maud looked to the window. "...Expressiveness."

I rubbed my mouth. "I'm sorry.... That was rude."

Maud turned towards me with a blink. "...Why can't I be expressive...by being stoic?"

My eyes popped open. "I-...I guess you can...."

"So...am I expressive?"

I let out a small chuckle. "Yeah...I guess so." I rubbed my arms as the cold started to dig in. "I guess I'm ready...."

Maud nodded, standing and walking over me as I let my legs go flat against the floor. She reared up, putting her hooves on my shoulders and walking her backside over my groin. I undid my sleep pants and pulled them down a little. "Peter...thanks...."

I got myself ready and put my hands on her hips. "Well...it's good to know I'm not just a piece of meat to you." Maud plopped down, pressing her hot lips against the underside of my penis as she scooted against me. "Not...great...in the romance department...but it's a start."

Maud stopped her movements for a moment. "...You want romance...I...." Maud made a strange face and rested her head against my shoulder. "I.... Is this good?"

I let her sit on my rod, warming my already hot flesh. There was a short calm, Maud pressing her head against my cheek. She was nuzzling and schmoozing, doing her best to seem interested. "Maud...stop." I moved my hands up her body and put my hands under her cheeks. "I'm fine...I'll be fine. I have Marble for my--"

"I want to...." Maud pushed forward, slipping out of my hands and back against my cheek. "It feels good...."

She slid herself up and down my shaft while her hooves wrapped around my head. I could feel myself growing more and more excited as Maud's sex slowly basted my shaft and heated my flesh. I let my fingers return to her hips, letting my palms form around her curves as she slid up and down me. I leaned back, taking a deep breath and getting a deep whiff of her mane.

The scent of spiced wine was subtle, amazing in the cold morning. I gripped her hips as she rode up my body, holding her at the peak of her motion. I turned my head, planting my lips against her neck and making her let out a short, soft moan.

I worked her taut muscles with my fingers, enjoying the soft texture of her dress and the heat of her body. I slid my hands under her dress and flipped it over her hips, letting it sit over the base of her tail. Maud stopped her movements and pulled her head back. "Peter...."

I took a breath and moved my hands from her hips to the underside of her haunches. I lifted her up, lining her up with my member. She looked down, staring as I tried to lower her slowly onto my rod. The heat coming from her was amazing, the hot liquid dripping off her was coating me in a copious amount of natural lube. Slowly I dropped her down, trying to to moan as my head pressed against her entrance, splitting her lips and jamming me against her. I leaned my head against her shoulder and tried to contain myself as I popped inside her. Maud let out a sharp gasp, tightening up as I slowly pressed my rod deeper and deeper into her.

I cringed hard as more and more of my shaft was enveloped by Maud's hot flesh, embracing me and squeezing me ever so tight. I breathed heavily through my nose as I ground my teeth. Maud was quite, growing red as she rode me down, near silent as I let out a myriad of strange noises. She stared at me, not with a smile, but with a slightly open mouth, soft and calm.

She wrapped her hooves around my neck and slowly started to lift herself up and down. I moved my hands back to her hips and rubbed her flank. Heat flooded through my body as her wet hot muscles squeezed me, her contours sending spikes of pleasure as my sensitive muscle slid in and out of her depths. I could feel my body flush with warmth as I clutched her strong backside, digging my fingers in and staring into Maud's eyes. Her mouth pouting ever so slightly.

It was driving me wild, seeing her expression so simple, yet having it display such a wide range of emotions. Pleasure, happiness, gentle concern and need, all carried behind a simple gap between her lips. A simple pout from her was amazing, worth more than making Marble scream in delight.

Maud leaned forward, locking lips with me. No tongue, but a simple soft kiss made heated by the intimacy and length of the act. My member was in bliss as I tried to keep myself going. A tingling pleasure was resonating through me as Maud squeezed my rod, holding my member in an amazingly organic nook. I could feel each and every inch of my flesh tingle as Maud rode me down, burying me as deep as possible in her hot pink organ.

A final wet textured slide inside her sent me over the edge. I kept one hand on her flank, squeezing the taut muscle and letting her coat press against my palms and cave around my fingers. My other hand was brought up, holding Maud's head, bringing her closer as I forced my tongue against her lips, and forcing past. The soft flavor of mint filled my mouth as I felt my heart race.

My body flooded with an amazing heat as pleasure rolled through my soaked head, throbbing and shooting inside her. Maud let out a short moan, soaking my lap as she locked up, squeezing me even tighter and forcing my member to work even harder to force out my seed.

I felt my heart strain for a moment before it went wild. I felt my world start to go dark, my body overcome with pleasure and weakness as my heart started to slow down. Second by second, tick by tick, my world grew darker. The soft flavor of mint, the squishy feeling of having my cock pulse inside Maud, the smell of sex and spice and the soft texture of her coat filled my mind as everything started drifting away.

I fell into darkness, my final sight of Maud pulling back, a pleased look on her face. I felt myself smile as I slipped away.

"Clear!"

I felt an amazing rush of pain stem from my chest. "Mother fucker!" I screamed, feeling my world come back as my body flailed.

"Clear."

Another jolt of pain snapped me into reality. "Fuck! Stop it!" I felt my hand shoot to my chest as my vision blurred into a hazy grey. I felt cords and patches stuck to my chest. I took my time to let my vision clear, blurs becoming ponies, and Red Heart hovering her hoof over a strange machine.

"Clear." Red Heart stated, pressing the button and sending another jolt of pain through my body.

"Fuck you!" I yanked the cords off of me and crossed my arms over my chest.

Red Heart walked over and pressed something cold against my chest. "Hmmm, alright...you're okay."

"No shit!"

Red Heart folded away her tools and started packing up. "Alright...get some rest and we'll check up on you later." Red Heart finished up and put her pack on. "No sex, no exercise, no work."

I went limp, letting my arms fall to my side. Maud walked over, sitting before me. "Your heart almost stopped...."

I touched the spots the patches had been. "...Maud...you almost killed me...."

"Sorry."

I took a deep breath and rolled onto my front. I failed to stand up and crawled over towards my bed. I pulled my blanket off the bed and curled up on the floor. "Maud...I don't wanna be alone."

Maud walked over and looked at me. I lifted my arm up, holding the blanket open. Maud walked in, turned around, and pressed her back against me. "Peter...I came...." Maud noted, just as stoic. "Thanks for that."

I took a deep breath and threw my arms around her. "Maud...please stop...I can't push my luck again...I might actually die."

Maud pressed as much of her body as possible against me. "It's still inside me...it's warm...."

"...Maud...never change...." I settled in for a relaxing time of laying on the floor and talking idly with Maud.

Author's Note

Penis!

Yellow Flash

I looked at the wires in my hands, the car battery at my feet and the boulder at the far end of the field. I turned back to the others, my pseudo wives hiding behind a boulder and watching me work, "You know, people go to school for this kind of stuff!"

Limestone was the first to respond, "It's easy, it's just a bunch of wires--"

"A bunch of wires connected to a bomb!" I snapped, staring at the orange tubes jammed into the far off rock, "And I don't know shit about explosives!"

Marble peaked her head over, her wonderful voice bolstering my courage, "Don't worry Pete! Just finish the circuit, and make sure you're grounded!"

I felt a sudden surge of panic as she finished talking. "What the fuck is grounded!?"

I looked back, watching as Pinkie popped over the rocks, trotting over and sitting with me, "Petey, Peter-"

"Hello."

"Peeeeter, Pete, Pedro-"

"Pinkie stop."

"Petro, Pero, Pierto--"

"Pinkie stop!"

She complied, smiling wide and sitting still. "I promise you, if I feel something weird I'll stop you, okay?"

I looked back down the field. "...Can't I just crack it with my pick?"

Pinkie scoffed, "Pete, that's pure granite! You're not getting into those nice shiny insides without a, bang!"

I looked down at the cables in my hands. "Yeah, but I really don't feel good about this. Winter's almost over...I almost made it through the last week without any accidents, I mean--"

"Peter...less talky, more explody...eee," She shoved me towards the car battery and smiled wide, "Now come on! Let's pop this party favor!"

I felt acid rise into my gullet as I stared down at the battery, "How did you even--"

"Ordered it." Pinkie preempted, a strange smile on her face.

I scratched my head and took a final deep breath, "If I die...well...I guess you can have my arm...." I connected one side of the battery. "Alright...glasses on! And three, two, eeh--" I stuck the wires into place, watching as the far off rock exploded, sending a poof of white smoke and dust high into the air. I felt the blast hit me, knocking me off balance and causing me to do a little Russian jig before falling onto my ass.

I started laughing like a lunatic as the dust settled, myself uninjured. "Ha! Fuck you curse, fuck you rock! Fuck you everything! Wooooo!" I cheered, running over to the rock, the Pie sisters slowly joining me. I ran up to the still smoking boulder and started cheering, "Fucking yes, yes you bitch!"

I pulled my gloves on and yanked a chunk of crumbly chunk of copper and stone out of the smoldering crater. "Look at this! Wooo, suck my dick rocks, suck it!"

Marble trotted over first, "Peter...calm down--"

"No!" I spun around, dropping the copper and turning to my herd, "I- I just blew something up! I fucking felt it hit me, I- I- I, money, new house, copper!" I walked over to Marble, falling to my knees and grabbing her shoulders, "I have such a boner right now."

Marble pulled free, laughing slightly as I felt myself come back down to reality, "That's great Peter...but...you're just a little excited right now--"

"Fuck yeah I am!" I jumped upright, jogging in place, "I blew something up! I didn't blow up, I didn't even get hurt!"

Pinkie cut in, jabbering and spinning her tail like a helicopter blade, "P-e-e-eter, wait!"

I froze, waiting for the all clear. "Pinkie...talk to me here...what's going on!?"

Pinkie bounced past, separating me and Marble, "I-I-I d-d-don't kno-o-o-w!" She stopped suddenly, the pie sisters a few feet away. "Whoa...that was funky."

I stared at her, "Am I clear? We go--" I stopped dead at the sound of crumbling stone. I looked down to see a huge crack forming under my feet. "Oh...fuck my a--" I was cut off, the ground caving beneath me. "Oh my go--" I stopped dead as I landed on my feet.

I just stood there, searing pain making its way through my foot and up my leg. I could feel myself start to cry as a horrid pain overtook my right leg. I just looked up, my foot in mind numbing pain. "Call the nurse...now!"

I watched as the sisters peered over the hole I created, "Pe- oh dear Celestia, go, go go!" Marble yelled, disappearing from my view and adding to my worry. I looked around my sunken prison, a small cave about seven feet deep. It was rather beautiful, covered in an assortment of bright gems and crystals.

It reminded me of a geode, a thick dirt and rock shell with a beautiful crystal inside. I looked up, finding Limestone and Pinkie in utter horror. Even Maud wore a deathly frown. "Hey...Maud...what happened? I don't want to look down."

I could see Maud swallow hard, "There's a crystal through your boot."

I smiled and stared up at the sisters. "Of course there is.... Is it bleeding?"

Limestone let out a rough cough, "Yeah...."

"A lot?"

"Kinda...."

I took a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming. "Maud...I need you to listen, listen really well."

Maud's ears perked up.

"I want you to come down here, and kick me in the head."

Maud's ears went flat. "What?"

Pinkie stood up, "Pete, that's craz--"

"I can't be awake for this! I don't want to see something jutting out of my foot!" I screamed, making the sisters jump, "Please...someone just knock me out...please?"

The sisters left me for a few moments, reconvening and sending Maud down. I watched as she carefully walked over, taking off her steel shoes and turning her back to me. "Peter...are you sure?"

I took a deep breath and made sure my landing was safe. "...Not really...but they're not gonna get me out of this if I have to be awake when the fix me." I watched as Maud took a practice kick, snapping a crystal in half and turning her ass to me, "Maud...I love you."

Maud took a deep breath, "I...love you too." She reared up, kicking me square in the forehead. I felt myself knock out, everything going black as I left my painful world.

I slammed down into a haze as pain filled my mind. I could hear ambient speech, followed by a blissful numb sensation, followed once again by a white hot pain, threatening to break my mind.

I fell into a deep sleep, everything going to shades of grey and numbness.

"Pe-.... Pete-.... Peter wake-...."

"Le-...try. ...Clear--"

I snapped back to reality, jumping upright and letting out an enormous gasp, "Auuuurgh!" I screamed, making a room full of white coats bolt upright, "Fuuuuuck!" I spotted Red Heart screwing with a defibrillator. I started yanking wires and patches off my cheek, arm and hand, "Knock that off god damn it!"

Red Heart stuck her tongue out, "It's on low!"

I glared at her as a man in a coat pushed her aside, "Okay...no more. He might actually die if we do that again." The man pushed Red Heart aside and faced me. "So...what the hell?"

I looked down at my bandage wrapped foot. "Man...don't ask."

The man rubbed his face, "They told me what happened, and I almost turned you away. I thought they were making a joke. Peter got a crystal shoved inside him!" The man shook his head hard, "I mean...this was through your damn foot!"

"Augh, come on. Don't- look...is it fixed?"

The doctor scratched his head, "...No...." he stated with an airy dismissal, "You had something go through your foot. You're out for at least a month or two!"

I stared at the man, "A month!? I- for a--"

The man turned away, finding a few black and white photos, "Dude...check this out." He passed me the photos. "See that? That's a fucking jagged emerald through your foot."

I felt sick as I looked at the pillar jutting through my foot. "God...I just- urk--" I tossed the photo away, "Bucket, bucket!" I held onto the side of the bed as I felt myself start to vomit, "Bucket!?"

The doctor scrambled to find a bin, her threw it to me, showering me in crumpled up papers as I held it to my face. "Oh god--" I lost my composure, spewing a disgusting orange liquid into the bin. "Fu-uuurguh-uck!" Another torrent of bile spewed forth, starting to fill the bin. "Oh dear go--uuurk!"

My mind was going haywire as the image of the crystal four inches through my boot was burning through my head. "God damn it!" I stopped vomiting and held the bucket. "I...Auuugh!"

The doctor nervously took it from me, setting it down and kicking it away, "So...wow...."

I glared at him, "I don't like blood...but that's just- Huragh-- Water...."

"Crap, nurse!? Water! And toothpaste!" The doctor ran off, coming back a minute later with some stuff, "Uh...here...just...bin." he set a bin by my bed and backed off, "Your mares are outside too so...I'll let them clear it up." He walked to the door, "Oh, and...uh.... Be ready, you know about.... Is this your first relationship with a pony?"

I glared at him as I spit a disgustingly minty stew into the bin, "Yes...."

The man chewed his cud, "Well...just...don't touch your foot." He walked out, leaving me and Nurse Red Heart alone.

She turned to me with a mean smile, "He's talking about heat. Breeding season's coming soon."

I finished my cleaning and drank the rest of the water, "What day is it?"

Red Heart smiled, "March third."

I threw myself back down into my bed, "...I missed Winter wrap up didn't I?"

Red Heart shook her head indecisively, "Sort of? You've been in here like a day. But...it's earlier in Ponyville than the Pie estate."

I laid heavy in the hospital bed, "...."

Red Heart's smile slowly faded, "Uh...you okay?"

I lowered my gaze, "No...I wanted to watch it happen...." I rubbed my upper arms, "...Red Heart...can I have a hug?"

Red looked to the door, "Um...I'm...dating someone.... You want me to call your mares?"

I sank into my bed. "Just call Pinkie...."

Red Heart nodded and headed out the door. I turned to the window, finding lush green replacing the white blanket of snow that used to cover the town. "...Damn...."

Pinkie burst into the room, darting over to me and diving into my bed. "Peter! I'm so s--"

I cut her off, wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her against me, "Pinkie...I'm sad...just...let me do this."

Pinkie just cooed, nearly purring as I pulled her against me, pressing my cheek against her head and enjoying the slightly pudgy texture of her body. "Pinkie...you're fat...."

"Hey!"

"Be quiet...I like it...." I squeezed her side, feeling the slightest squishyness as I held her. It was just enough to be pleasing to the touch, without being gelatinous or worrying. "...Is this from the Cakes?"

Pinkie giggled nervously, "K-kinda...." I let out a small huff as I squeezed her tight. She started giggling like mad as she pulled herself against my head. She snuggled against me and started to slowly control her laughter as I kneaded her body. "Peter...stop it...." Her voice was strangely low, I was familiar with it, from one too many nights with Marble.

I moved my hands from her belly, slowly moving lower. Pinkie stopped laughing as she pulled her head back, staring at me with two bright blue eyes. She pressed her nose against my own, closing her eyes and resting her forehead on my own.

I grabbed a handful of soft supple flank and squeezed it. Pinkie let out a pleased coo, her breath lapping against my upper lip. I enjoyed the smell of her breath, closing my eyes and trying not to yank the IV in my arm.

I closed my eyes and just squeezed her flank, feeling something soft and sweet press against my lips. I shifted one hand up, cradling her head and turning her head to press neatly against my lips.

Pinkie kept it clean, keeping it a simple kiss with a soft moan. I enjoyed it, the fleshy feeling in my hands and the soft loving kiss working in tandem to excite me. I felt myself press against her underside, barely constrained by the thin hospital sheet and the gown.

"Uh...Peter." Marble's soft voice broke the rustling.

I snapped to attention as did Pinkie. We stared at Marble as she walked over, "Uh...Marble...hi...."

Marble just rolled her eyes, "It's fine Peter.... I know how to share...and play nice. But I just wanted to tell you, that cave you found...they're gutting it and building you a house on our property."

I scratched my head. "Wha--"

I was cut off as Pinkie started squealing, kicking my chest with her hooves like mad, "Petey! House, home! You- you- you got--"

I grabbed her hooves to stop her from beating my chest, "Ow! Stop!"

"Sorry...."

I turned to Marble, "So...what's up?"

Marble walked to the side of my bed, "Estimated value of that gem pit you stabbed yourself on it...what did they say.... A million or so...."

I froze, unable to comprehend the number she just said. "...I- so do I just make you money when I bleed!?"

Marble laid her head left and right, "Kind of...."

I scratched my head, laying back into my bed. "So...what are they gonna spend it on?"

Marble tapped her hooves on the floor. "They're building you a small house, they're buying a butt load of new tools, oh...and they're renovating everything." Marble nodded happily, "It should be done by the time you're out of here."

I looked past Pinkie as she settled against my chest. My foot was wrapped up in a myriad of white bandages. "About that, how long do you--"

"A month...maybe five weeks." Marble leaned over the railing of the bed and kissed my shoulder. "And sorry, but we're not gonna be down here much."

I nodded, clutching Pinkie's flank. "Working?"

Marble frowned softly. "Yeah, between the silver, the gems and that copper you found, we're gonna be really busy."

"Alright...I--"

"Well I'm staying!" Pinkie shot in, pressing her crown against my chin, "We can be bestest buddies! Bestest super secret buddies...."

I cocked an eyebrow and held her away, "What--"

"She means sex...." Marble explained, turning to the door. "Well.... Get well soon...I'll visit soon!" Marble walked out, leaving me alone with the bubbly pink mass curled up on my chest.

I settled in, preparing for a horribly long hospital stay.

Hot Pink Love

I laid alone in my hospital bed, my foot itching insanely bad. I was going mad, the itching on the sole of my foot was burning through my mind like a smouldering cigarette butt burning through a napkin. I needed to relieve it, I needed to find some sort of way to stab through the wrapping for just a second.

My whimpers and cries were cut off by a unicorn nurse strolling in, "Peter...what's wrong?" she asked, bowing her pink and white mane, "You look...uncomfortable."

I let out a rough cough, "You could...say that. My fucking foot itches so god damn bad...."

The mare rolled her eyes, lighting up her horn and causing a wonderfully sharp sensation dragging along my stitches. "Better?"

I started grunting like an animal in heat, "Oh god...oh dear god yes...fuuuuck...ho-holy shiiiit." I laid my head back, the sensation was amazing, digging deep but not threatening to actually damage my wound. "Oh god, don't stop- don't stop!"

The mare blushed slightly as she walked over, "Dear Celestia...it's a scratch, not a blowjob...."

I caught my breath as she continued to scratch, "Oh my god...it's so much better- than aaaa- any blowjob...."

The mare just laughed, "You humans are weird. How is this better than a blowjob? I mean, when I give em boys just go mad."

I blew a slow stream as I drifted into paradise, "I don't- if you're hitting on me...just...keep...scratching.... I don't even--" a soft smell cut my concentration. "Oh no...." A warm, heated smell, quickly growing overwhelming and horridly pungent, "No...Maud...no...."

The nurse looked confused, "Who's Maud--" she was cut off as the door flung open, revealing an empty doorway, "What the...hello?"

I held my breath as the door creaked loudly. A slow tapping brought my stomach into my ribs, my penis shrinking from the potential contact. "Maud...I can't...please...."

The nurse sniffed the air, "Eugh...what is that? It smells like vagina...."

I muttered to myself and prayed to every god I could think of. "Rock cavern so tight...could crush coal into diamonds." I covered my groin, uttering an old French prayer as I waited for the ruinous mare to come striding through the door, ready to take my life with her ungodly sex.

But what wandered through the door wasn't my pseudo killer wife, but another of my mares. Not that they belong to me, more the opposite of my entire being belonging to them. No, what wandered through the door was less terrifying, but equally worrying. "Pinkie!?" I yelped, "I- no one said you were...what the fuck is that smell?"

Pinkie just grinned ear to ear, not saying a thing. The unicorn that had helped me was slowly walking away, "Mr. Dufort...let me know if you need anything." she pushed past Pinkie, letting out a sharp gasp as she reached the other side of the door and bolted away.

Pinkie slowly walked over, not saying anything, just smiling. I felt my heart sink as she perched on the edge of my bed and stared at me. "Hi!" she chirped, "I'm hot!"

I leaned away from her, "Uh...are you...in heat?"

Pinkie giggled, nodding like mad, "Ye-yes!" She hopped up on my bed and turned her backside to me, "Pink puffy pussy for Petey!"

"What!?" I panicked, my voice cracking like a teenager. "Pinkie...no...."

She planted her backside on my chest, "Petey...yes." I watched the leaking pink mess before me bounce on my chest, a pair of hooves stuck into my gut. "Thinking about my Peter's pointy little peck--"

"Pinkie, stop rhyming!" I snapped, growing agitated at the warm scent and the winking pink slid bouncing before my eyes. "Seriously...can this not wait until my leg's fixed?"

"Nope!" she stated, returning to her giggling and sliding her dripping sex up my chest and against my chin, "Pete...I need somebody--"

"What!? How do you--" I was cut off as another pink face thrust right next to my face, "Huh?"

"Hi!" the other Pinkie chirped, reaching up and pecking me on the cheek, "Kissy?"

I let out a scared cough and tried to wiggle away, forced back by the excited pussy leaking over my chin, "What the fuck!?"

Before long a small herd of Pinkies were forcing their way into the room. I let out a muffled scream, quickly having a mouthful of plump pink pussy meat shoved into my mouth. A conflicted sense of self satisfaction and overwhelming shame filled my mind as my body was carved up between the eight or so Pinkies that had piled on. On my chest sat three, one ass to me, belly to my own, threw herself back against my mouth. Another sat opposite of her, facing me and stuffing her mouth with the first's back door. A third laid upon her, hoof back and jostling her sex while she stared down at the two trying to pull my rod out of the cheap hospital gown I was wearing.

I realized what the smell was as another started sucking at my fingers. The softer smell of Pinkie was amplified by how many mares there were in the room, almost matching if not overpowering Maud's distinct scent. The taste of pink pussy was shamefully amazing, both sloppy and disgustingly squishy and sweet and soft to the pallet. Under other circumstances I would have been in heaven, but with a Pinkie gently stroking my length with a soft under hoof and another licking at my based, threatening to envelop my boys, I couldn't complain. The first Pinkie, ass facing me, decided to toy with my tip, poking it with her foreleg and giggling before nipping at me.

The smell was absolutely overpowering, the constant flesh to coat contact between me and the herd was outstanding, hot enough to make me sweaty, but not enough to distract from the heady liquid spilling into my mouth from the squishy flower I was assailing with my tongue. It was warm and tender, extremely squishy and warm. I felt my eyes nearly roll back into my head as I lifted my hand up and slid my fingers into the Pinkie on the top of the pile. She broke into an amazing laughter, giggling like mad and spilling a thin feminine fluid down my fingers and over my wrist. It trickled down, sliding down the pile of pink plots.

I felt my tip give in to the constant nipping and the slobbery attention from three happy faces. The steady warm drool covering my cock made me twitch and throb before being thrown into a gaping maw, a tongue sliding along the contours of my rod. The pinkie with me in her mouth suckled like mad, drawing my pre from my tip like some flesh straw.

My tongue wiggled deep into the soft fleshy tunnel, soaked in fem juice and saliva, forcing its way deep into the burning hot slit and suffering the wrath of Pinkie's softly squeezing sex. The amazing amount of slightly squishy flesh, both inside and out, was smothering me, booty and belly squishing me into my hospital bed and sending my mind to an amazingly blissful place.

Mouthful of warm pussy lips, handful of soft squishy butt in my right hand, suckling Pinkies at my rod and finger, and the sight of Pink ass being eaten out by a bright blue eyes head feasting on pink plot hole. It was hard to notice given the constant hot pleasure radiating from my extremities, but the flood of juice from the Pinkies seemed to be endless, coming in waves or gently trickling out between violent squirts.

Finally I met my match, my balls safe and happy in a warm mouth, my base licked like mad and my tip sucked and slurped upon by yet another clone. I felt my self tighten up, a Pinkie sucking at my most tender point and helping my release build up before exploding out against a greedy tongue and disappearing down a sloppy pink throat.

I lost it, leaving my tongue stuck inside a creamy pussy while the rest of me went completely limp.

My world grew hazy for a few moments before shocking back hard as the bed caved. The frame crumbled sending the cheap mattress to the ground hard. My foot was held in place while the rest of my slammed against the ground, yanking me into an awkward position with pink flesh absorbing my vision.

I laid there, piled on my laughing auto-lesbonic bodies. It seemed I would spend the rest of my life under a pile of Pinkies. I contemplated my shame as I accepted my new position as man slut and organic dildo.

"There they are!" an angry, slightly squeaky voice cut through the soft giggling. What followed was a bright pink flash, followed by the herd inflating and popping into soft strings of magic. I was left damp and slightly cold as my body laid twisted and exposed.

A final Pinkie bolted in, "Petey!? Petey speak to me!"

A purple alicorn wandered over, "Um...wow...is he gonna--"

I cut her off, turning the Pinkie around and dragging my tongue across the last Pinkie's slit, making her kick her back legs and giggle. "Petey!?"

I let out a tired huff and laid back, "Yeah...you're the real one.... Overly sweet..."

The alicorn cocked an eyebrow and walked over to me, "H-how can you--"

I turned to her with a defeated gaze, "Maud...pungent and musky.... Limestone...nervous but vocal...she likes to mumble and scream. Marble, soft, gentle, robust...she's a squirmer. Pinkie...D...Pie...sweetest pussy...she laughs when you hit her G spot...and she's a squirter." I turned away, "I'm...an expert at Pie pies...."

The alicorn was glowing bright red, her wings flared out and twitching, "Um...I'll...trust you."

I sighed rather deeply, "Yeah...your wings are showing."

She grew even redder, turning away and running out the door, forced to physically fold her wings to get through the door. Pinkie was burning a different shade, an embarrassed shade of pink, not the hormone driven red. "Peter...I'm so sor--"

"Pinkie...I finished...don't be sorry." I looked around the ruined room, "Maybe call a doctor...or a janitor...or anyone really."

Author's Note

Dufort

Gold Bars

Author's Note

THE RETURN
Sorry for skipping ahead a bit, but we gotta wrap this thing up soon.

Gold Bars

I stepped out of the hospital, Red Heart standing beside me, facing the warm summer town that was waiting beyond the dull grey walls of the hospital. "Well...summer's here." She mumbled, scratching the floor. "Are you gonna be okay?"

I rubbed my head, left only with the faintest memory of what had happened. "Uh...how long was I out?" I asked, my stomach rumbling loudly. "It wasn't this hot when I went in...."

Red Heart tapped her hoof nervously. "Hey...the important thing is you're here now. And that you're fine...and that they visited you the whole time...."

I took a deep, hissing, breath. "How long."

"Induced Coma, a few months...." Red Heart chuckled softly, "It's July."

I coughed roughly, "Of course...what happ--"

"A shelf broke and you got brained by a lamp." She stated, fixing her bun and walking around me. "But, it worked! And the doctor said you won't have any lasting damage!"

I scratched my head. "Where was I that there was a shelf above me!?"

Red Heart stepped up and down path before the hospital, the nicely paved concrete covered in wheel marks. "The lobby...you were about to be discharged." Red Heart trotted back up to me, smiling nervously at me. "I actually just used the same papers...I just crossed out the dates."

I took a deep, angry breath. "Of course...I'm honestly not even surprised." I crossed my arms and stepped onto the pavement. "I remember Pinkie...then my foot getting fixed, then...black, and now I'm here." I groaned angrily, my voice quavering as I shook. "How long was I in there?"

Red Heart scratched her chin, "Uh, you were admitted before Winter Wrap Up, Running of the Leaves is in a month, so, about four months, five months? I think it's five."

I felt myself start to shake, my weakened body shivering as my blood simmered. "Now what!?" I shouted, spinning around and looking to Red Heart. "That's time I'll never get back, and I'm just supposed to pretend like it's okay!?"

A soft voice snapped me back around before I could continue to yell at the nurse. "Peter, are you okay?"

I took a deep breath, my body quivering as I tried to turn around. "No, Marble, I'm really not." I spotted my grey maned mate and ducked down, holding my arms out. "I'm far from okay." Marble stepped before me, leaving me to wrap my arms around her and pull her tight to my chest, my face resting against her ginger scented mane. "I missed you...."

Marble leaned forward, tipping me from the balls of my feet and onto my ass. "I don't. I visited you every day since you got hit. I was there to take you home when it happened." She cooed, rubbing my knee with her hoof. "And I'm here now...."

I took a short, sputtering breath. "Oh god I missed you." I leaned forward, scooping her up and holding her as I got back to my feet. "Marble...I need to talk to you."

Mable settled in, causing my weakened body to shudder at her weight. "Peter...I should--"

"Marry me?" I asked, looking down at her, watching as her usual neutral look crash into one of blush and surprise. "I don't have a ring...or...anything like that, but I've had some time to think...and some time where I couldn't, and I really--" I stopped myself, unable to carry Marble any further. "Sorry...." I set her down, sitting down on the warm path and pulling my knees up to my chest. "This isn't really romantic is it?"

Marble stared at me, soft pink along her cheeks. "Um...it was just a little sudden."

I shook my head. "I have to say this before we get back to the rock farm. I mean, between Maud and Limestone and Pinkie, it's all too much...." I stood up, brushing my backside off. "Humans aren't made to handle that many relationships, and I do care about them, but it's not the same." I reached out, brushing her cheek with my fingers. "Marble...I'm sure they can find their own...and I'm not going to stop loving them, but it's different for you." I ran my hand over her soft face, curling it up and around her ear. "Marble...I don't know how much longer I'm going to be alive, I don't know if that curse is going to kill me or if it's over, but either way I'd like to spend my life with you--"

I caught a hoof to the jaw, plugging my mouth before I could continue. "...I didn't bring enough for a hotel...." Marble mumbled, "We could stay at--"

A sharp caught caught our attention, followed be Red Heart swinging her flank towards me. "I'll probably see you around the rock farm...so...you can pay me back later."

I spun around on my toes, facing Red Heart and smiling at her. "Red Heart...you're not a huggy person, are you?"

Red Heart took a step to the side. "Um...no...why--"

I cut her off, scooping her up and nearly snapping my spine with a twirl around the path. "Oh god-" I set her down and spun to the floor, laughing as I rolled in the dust. "That was dumb...."

Red Heart stumbled sideways, her hooves clacking against the ground. "Yes! Yes it was!" She shook her head, planting her hooves in place before shaking her body. "I offer to give you an early wedding gift, get you laid right out of the hospital bed, comfort you in your time of need, and you hug me?! What's wrong with you!?"

I laughed softly, slowly looking towards Marble, her face stuck in a blushing smile. "A lot...." I reached out and pulled Marble towards me, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "But I think things can only get better from here."

Red Heart coughed, pulling my attention to her. She made it a point to roll her eyes for me. "Get a room...consomate that thing, and stop dying! Seriously, with your luck your dick is going to fall off and you'll break your back falling off the bed."

"That's not funny...." I mumbled, turning back to Marble. Face to face with her I couldn't help but smile, but genuine worry percolated beneath my expression. "...Red Heart...just...hang around...."

"In case you--"

"In case I do get hurt...yes...."

"Third wheel I am!"

Grey Homestead

I sat with Marble on my lap as the train chugged along. "Honey.... I can call you that right?" I ran my thumb over her ear. She leaned against my chest as I rubbed along the outside up to the tip.

Marble hummed and nuzzled my chest. "Yes."

I took a deep breath and leaned back into my seat. "...No. I think Marble still sounds better." I settled in with my wife on my lap, laid against my chest with a decent weight. "How do you think your sisters are gonna take it?"

Marble closed her eyes. "I don't really care. I've been staying down in Ponyville for a while with Pinkie, and I think she knows." Her voice was so soft, so content and calm. "Maud might be a bit weird, and Limestone might say something, but I think it'll settle down." She leaned against my hand and nuzzled my thumb with her crown. "I'm not worried."

I looked out at the gray stone fields dotted with massive yellow machines upturning the land and pulling bright veins of dust covered ore from the ground. "Yeah, things look pretty good." I ran my hand down her neck. Her mane was soft but had a crisp shape to it. I scratched her coat and dragged it down to her withers. She leaned into my pet as I held her foreleg and hugged her against me. "I hope it's over. I really do."

The train rolled to a clean stop. The hitch that was in the tracks by the Pie's estate seemed to be gone. I stood up and cradled Marble in my arms. "Peter, you ready?" She asked with such legitimate concern it nearly stabbed me with its tone.

I pulled my lower lip into my mouth and nodded. "Yeah. I think its over." I walked out to the door outside. No trip, no fall, no nothing. I met the concrete landing with a soft plop. "See, nothing." I held my arm out towards the machines. "I feel like nothings can hurt me right now."

I walked along the concrete platform and onto the now well paved stone brick path to the Pie house. It still stood dull and grey, with the same worn shingles, and boarded walls. And now a small herd to greet me. We all walked towards a center point, meeting half way through the path up to the house.

The father Pie lead hat forward. "Peter...."

I slowly ducked down and let Marble back onto the ground. "Granite, hi."

He looked up at me, his chops thick and grey. "Maud's got a foal." His tone was utterly flat, his face stern as ever. "Oh, and I have your back pay waiting. Been a big month while you were gone."

I nodded. "I'm sure. So, who's the dad?"

Granite cocked an eyebrow. "Well...I asked the same thing, she said she was with you, and I don't think many other stallions were around about the time it happened." He nodded curtly. "So, signs point to you, ifin' you think you could explain what the hay a satyr is, I'd appreciate it very much so."

"A what--a-a-a goat thingy?" I stuttered and stumbled as I tried to continue. "Um...what?"

Marble looked up at me. "Peter, can humans do that? I know griffons and ponies have kids...but I thought humans--"

"Yeah no, she's right." I pointed down to Marble. "We can't. Proven, several times. Ask anyone who's been with a pony."

Granite shrugged. "Well...I don't know much about ya, or your kind rather. But...I got the tests, and the ponies at the clinic said it wasn't no normal foal." He lifted his hat off. "But, I do suggest you do something about it there. I'm not really a violent type, and I don't think I ever will be, but I don't know how well Mama Pie might take a bastard in the family." He nodded slowly. Everything about him felt very slow and relaxed, but with a certain hick kick to it. "I suggest you go and sort this--"

Marble stepped forward. "Dad, Peter asked me to marry him."

Granite turned to his daughter with a tame expression of confusion. "Well...suppose this is great news. Considering the boy brought wealth and a foal where there never was one before--"

"No!" I went stiff as a board. "No!" I looked down at Maud her glazed over look didn't falter once. "Oh fucking come on!" I grabbed my head. "Aaahugah no!"

Marble turned to face me. "Peter?"

"The curse! The god damn curse! The-- shit! No!" I dropped to my knees. "Oh you son of a zebra crossing--cross dressing--giraffe-- ah!" I dropped onto my hands and knees. "No!"

"Yes." A swirling misty voice drifted past. "With a sacrifice of your body, and the pain endured for others, great fortune will follow you the rest of your days." A black and white mist drifted past me. "Healthy foals, large families, and vast wealth for the cost of your month of blood. May you live long and healthily, and may your offspring be the heirs of kingdoms."

I watched as the mist zipped across the grey dusty plains and through a bulldozer. "Oh my god.... Did anyone else see that?" I looked towards the ponies. They just stared at me. "The-- like-- talking mist...." I grabbed my head. "What is going on?"

Marble looked me up and down. "Peter, are you okay?"

I stood up, still holding my head. "Curse...family...I-- Hmm...." I walked towards a moving dump truck. The dirt path rumbled as the large machine ripped towards me, following a deep broken in tread from machines before it. "I just.... I can't." I laid down on the bumpy tracks and stared up at the blue-grey sky. "Nope."

The dump truck slowly closed in, its tires looking to crush my entire body into the mud. The giant machine stopped right before my arm, the tire looming slightly over my side as it hissed and stopped dead. "Oh crap...wrong way." A loud beeping flooded my ears as the giant machine started to backpedal. I was left laying in the mud as the machine left me to live.

Marble popped into view. "Peter...did you just try to kill yourself."

I licked my lips. "Yes."

Marble cocked an eyebrow. "Can you not?"

I sat upright. "I don't think I can." I slapped my hands to my chest. "Oh god...." I stood up and looked around. A large rock was sitting on the ground and seemed to be my only way out. I picked up the rock and held it out to bash my head.

"Peter...don't."

"I have to try!" I screamed, closing my eyes and preparing to smash. "Rau--"

A loud explosion cut me off and sent a piece of shrapnel pinging down the field from a blast site. The bit of ragged stone whizzed up and ripped the stone from my hand, sending it sailing onto the dirt and into two pieces. Inside the stone sat a brilliant blue crystal with a perfect edge.

I frowned at it. I looked back over at the Father Pie and Maud. "So...you sure its mine?"

Maud nodded slowly. Granite coughed into his hoof. "It ain't a foal, and you're the only one around for that time."

I nodded slowly and sat down. "I'll get the rings...."

Marble looked me up and down. "Peter, you sure?"

I looked at her and sighed. "Will you be around?"

Marble smiled at me. "I never left."

I smiled back and nodded slowly. "Well, then yeah." I reached out and pulled her against me. "Not really sure what's gonna happen next. But if you're around, I think I'll be okay."

Maud walked over and looked at us. I held my other arm out and quickly found another mare in my grip. I sighed heavily. "Is Limestone gonna be okay?"

Granite nodded. "She's hangin' around some pony that showed up after you found all that silver." He nodded slowly. "Real good colt."

I nodded slowly. "Alright...." I took a deep breath. "A kid at twenty-three." I squeezed the mares against me. "Well, could have been worse I suppose." I nuzzled Marble's head, then switched to Maud's. "Oh god, I heard something say large families earlier." I squeezed the mares against me. "Oooooh no...."

Granite shrugged. "All that gem and ore you up and found been bringing in quite a bit of money. I'm sure we can expand."

I whimpered gently. "Ooooooh noooo...." I let my voice worble. "What a terrible night to have a blessing."

Author's Note

That's all folks. Didn't want this one to just die, so here's an endingish.

Here, check this out if you're craving more.