My face laid flat on the floor, my eyes blinking as I woke from my late night drunken slumber. It felt like it was a drum beating inside my head. Damn this headache. Rising up from the dirty rug I slept on, I turned around and saw it was sunny outside.
I trotted towards my desk. It was filled with newspapers dated from years ago, reminding me of the life I used to have and never will have again. All the newspapers read: Printer quits after heand his partner reveal a shocking clue that ruins the life of the Manhattan arson suspect. I sighed, and grabbed the bottle of jack from inside the desk.
Holding the bottle in the air, I smiled. “Bottles up.” I brought the bottle close to my lips until a knock at the door made me place it back inside the drawer. I trotted towards the door and opened it. “What do you want, Featherweight?” I asked, pinching my nose.
“What? I can’t come and see a friend in a beautiful sunny day?”Cold Feather asked, smirking at me.
“It’s seven AM,” I yawned. “Go back home to your family,” I said, closing the door. A hoof stopped me from closing it all the way, however. “Kid, please go home.”
“Come on!” He whined. “You and my father were good friends, working together.Y’all used to—”
“You’re right. Weused to,” I interrupted him. I bent down to his level, staring into the colt’s eyes. I saw his father’s determination in him. I placed a hoof on his shoulder and sighed. “Listen kid, me and your father were partners…we weren’t friends.”
“Oh.” Cold Feather’s smile disappeared. “He always said to me you was close. I guess I was wrong.” He turned back. “I’ll see you tomorrow I guess.” He began to trot away.
I clenched the door as I watched him. I gritted my teeth, knowing in my heart I couldn’t let this happen. “Hey, kid!” I called out to him. He turned around and looked at me. “Come in and let’s eat.”
He smiled and ran past me. Wow, that colt was fast! I turned around to see him reading the newspaper laid out on my desk. “Kid, don’t touch that!”
Cold Feather looked up to me, putting down the newspaper he read. “Printer. I-I didn’t know. I’m sor—” He stopped dead in his tracks as he heard something rolling around in my drawer. Slowly opening it, he found my bottle half-empty.
I stared at him for a while, the ticking of the clock brought me discormt. Finally I opened my mouth.“Featherweight, I—”
“This is how you spend your day!” He shouted. “By drinking something bad for your health and not giving a crap about what it does to the ponies you love!”
“What am I suppose to do?” I shouted back, my voice shaking. “I can’t take it! Everything reminding me of what I failed to do!”
“You don’t have to do this anymore.” He reached into the brown bag he carried with him, and took out a piece of paper. “Read that page and you’ll see what you can do.”
“Feather, I’m not going to—”
“Read it!”
I hesitated for a while as I stared down at the piece of paper laying on the floor. I reached down to the rug to pick it up. My hoof shaking as I got closer, and I finally I picked it up. I unfurled it,and began reading.
Is Celestia hiding a secret from Ponyville? Locals reported a bunch of royal guards running inside the hospital and carrying something with them. Reporters tried to get in and see what’s in there, but failed to do so. Captain Stars announced the hospital to be a restricted area, so nopony get in or out.
“You can get in that place. I know you can! You just gotta believe in yourself.” He trotted to me, and what he did next surprised me. He hugged me. “You’re like a uncle to me, and I won’t let you fall down like this.”
I didn’t know what to do next, so I just stood there looking dumb. I reached a hoof around, and patted his back. “Uh, there there.”
“What?” He looked at me confused. “Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Why were you patting me on the back saying “there, there”?”
I shrugged.“I don’t know how to comfort a child.”
He laughed, shaking his head.”Anyway, you in on the story old timer or are you going to stay in this dump you call home?”
I shrugged my shoulders, and laughed.“It’s got me through for the few years, so it’s fine.”
He stomped a hoof on the ground.“No it isn’t! I can tell you miss the glory and fame. It’s all over your face!” he shouted, and jabbed a hoof on my chest. “You need this.”
“No, I don’t. It made me ruin ponies lives’ just for fame. I exposed their private life just for money,” I said, frowning. “I’m not doing that anymore kid... and that’s final!”
“Please? Just one this last time, and you can go back into retirement.” He sighed. “I know you’re not proud of what you done, but that’s all in the past! Wake up and take this chance or somepony else will take it!”
I sighed, giving in into the kid’s plead. “Alright kid, I’m in.” He immediately began bouncing up and down with a big grin on his face. Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile. I kinda felt alive near this kid. “You got any plans on how I get in?”
He stopped bouncing to look at me. “Wait a minute. Plans? I need plans?”
“Kid, in this line of business you always need a plan.” I chuckled, remembering the first time I went on the job without having a plan, which ended badly. “You can’t just go somewhere and expect them to hand over the story to you.”
He trotted to my bed and sat down on it. He rubbed his chin while humming as he tried to think of a plan for me to get in the hospital. Once in a while a smile would appear on his face, opening his mouth to speak, but always end with shaking his head at the plan he thought and go back thinking of another one. “I got it!” He shouted, waking me up from my nap. “I got a good plan for you to get in.”
“What is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. “It had better be a good one too.”
“Don’t worry old timer.” He said, smirking. “This plan is well thought out.” Celestia, I hate it when he calls me that.
I sat down on my chair, leaning back into it. I waved a hoof, motioning for him to continue.“So...let me hear it, mister hotshot.”
He laughed nervously, sweating like a pig as I waited to hear his ‘well thought out plan’. “Well...speak up boy! I don’t have time here.”
“Alright old timer! I don’t see you having a plan!” He cleared his thought and picked up the newspaper. “They said it was a restricted area and by the looks in this picture only guards roam this area.”
I shrugged my shoulders, not having the slightest clue at what he was getting. “So.” I simply said.
“So. My brother used to be in the royal guard. He still keeps his armor in the closet at home, it’ll probably make a perfect fit for you!” He exclaimed, tapping a particular spot on the paper. “Those idiots would think you’re one of them!”
That made me sat up straight off my chair. I stared at the kid sitting in front me shocked. “That’s actually a good plan if we executed right. Huh….good thinking kid.”
The colt smirked, rubbing his shoulder with a hoof. “Well my father was your partner. I bet he was the brains of the operation.”
Now that made me laugh even harder than before. I fakely wiped a tear away. “You’re funny, but no. We both aren't the brain of the operation.” I grabbed the bottle from where the kid left in at. “To a good plan!” I shouted, raising up the bottle before downing the whole thing.
“Hey, you said you wouldn’t drink anymore!”
“I never said I’d stop drinking.” I chuckled.“Alright listen kid, meet me tomorrow near the hospital with armor, and don’t let anypony see you! Don’t want anypony ruining our plan before it even happens.”
“Aye aye captain!” He saluted me, and went to the door. He opened it and stepped outside, trotting away from my apartment. When he was a couple feet away from the apartment, he turned around to get one last look at me before he left. “Hey, printer!”
I sighed.“What is it kid?”
He smiled. “It’s good to have you back.”
I watched as the three or more guards patrolled around the hospital, the unicorns using a carriage to fly around. Why have unicorns unless there’s more to it? I reached to ground, and picked up a small pebble. I threw it at a window, trying to see if it would smash into it. But the pebble bounced off thin air, revealing a purple force shield for a couple seconds.
It’s harder than I thought. I picked the binoculars back up, and continued stalking them. That is, until something heavy dropped in front of me, making me look up . I frowned.”You’re late.”
“Well how about you try to convince your mom you’re going somewhere with a black bag. The sound of clanging armor every step you take!
“Alright smart-mouth.” I got up from the ground, and trotted near the bag. Unzipping it, I saw the yellow painted armor along with a helmet with a blue feather on top. “Stay here and keep quiet.”
“Wait...I wanna come with you!”
“No, it’s not risky to take you along. I won’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.” I said, putting the armor and helmet on. “You brought the mirror and your mom’s makeup?”
He nodded, and reached into the bag. Taking out a small round mirror, red lipstick, and black eyeliner. “What you need this for?” He asked, handing it over to me. “You going out on a date?” He snickered at his own joke.
I smeared the black eyeliner around my left eye, making it look like I’d been attacked from somepony. I took the red lipstick, and placed a little dip on my lips, so it could look like the attacker beaten me up good. “How do I look?”
He examined me my face, and armor. “Like a beaten up guard. Why you making yourself look like that?”
“You let me worry about that.” I hid the bag under the bushes, and began trotting towards the front entrance. Once I had gotten closer, I saw two guards standing by the door. I couldn’t go any further because of the shield blocking me out. “Hey, turn off the shield for a couple seconds and let me in!”
“State your name and station?” One of the guards asked me.
“I don’t remember. As you can see I gotten beat up pretty badly.” I said, rotating a hoof around my face to show what I was talking about. “I need get cleaned up, so let me in the hospital.”
“I am sorry, but even we can’t go in. Go back to your—”
“Let him in. He just wants to wash his face, no need to be hostile.” A stallion with black armor and a white mane said, trotting to the guards. He turned to me, examining my black eye. “You need to get better at fighting soldier or you’re not fit to be a guard.”
“I will, sir.” The purple aura around the place vanished , allowing me to get into the front doors. I trotted past the guards and stopped near the stallion. “Can I ask you a question sir?”
“Yes you may.”
“If I were to roam around the hospital not knowing where the bathroom is, which room is the secret held in so I won’t mistakenly go in there.” I smiled. “Don’t wanna come out and spill the beans!”
“Two eleven is the door’s number, it’s a brown door. You can tell when you pass by it.” He stepped closer to me, eyeing me which made me sweat beneath the makeup. “Don’t take too long or else I'ma drag you out here and you’ll gain another black eye when I done beating you to a bloody pulp. You understand?”
I gulped, and nodded stupidly. “I won’t sir.”
I roamed the halls inside the hospital seeing only nurses and doctors pass by me as they took their patients to rooms. “Uh, excuse me, miss?” I said to a nurse as she trotted by. “Do you know where room eleven is?”
She turned around and smiled. “You take three turns to your left and just keep walking until you stop at a brown door. I heard Celestia’s keeping something in there. Any idea what it is?”
I shook my head. “I can’t reveal that kind of information, ma’am.” I pushed her aside and began to trot towards my destination. “Have a good day.”
I coulda sworn I heard her mumble something negative about me. I followed the instructions the mare gave me and kept trotting forward until the brown door came into view.
Questions swarmed in my head as I stopped in front of the room. What was behind that door? Why was it a secret? Why did Celestia pick a hospital instead of her castle? My thoughts were interrupted as the door opened. A royal guard with a scar on his face stepped out of the room, and closed the door without noticing me standing behind him.
“What was you doing in there?” I asked.
He jumped at sound of my voice. He caught his breath and turned around. “Celestia, you scared me!” He shouted, putting a hoof to his beating heart. “Did the captain send you?”
“Yeah, he did. He also wanted me to make sure none of the guards are doing anything suspicious.” I said, crossing my forelegs. “Now I'ma ask you again. What was you doing in there?”
“I said I’m not doing nothing, all right?” He shoved past, leaving me alone in the hall with my thoughts. He was acting way too suspicious for somepony ‘not doing anything’. I’d also spotted a needle in his left hoof as he was walking away. I wanted to talk to him, but decided that it wasn’t worth it.
I turned back to the door and stared closely at it. Wondering what lay behind it and why was it so secretive. Some kind of weapon? Beast? Magical artifact? Never mind that. I needed to focus. I reached my hoof around the knob, and twisted it until it slowly opened into a dim room.
I trotted inside and closed the door behind. I looked for a light switch but found none. I squinted my eyes, something was laying on that hospital bed. I trotted towards the bed, but something knocked me down on the floor. I landed on my face. “Celestia Dammit!”
I saw something roll under the bed when I fell. I reached underneath and pulled out a half empty bottle of Anesthetic. I cursed. “That idiot!” That guard was giving whatever was under that thing laying in the bed too much medicine. It also would explain the needle in his left hoof and his weird behavior.
The light flipped on, revealing a tall body. Its breathing was slow and dull. Slowly the creature faded away as I looked at it. I turned around and saw three guards, and the captain standing by the door. I looked at them then at the item held in my hoof. “This isn’t what it looks like!”
“Of course it is, Printer.” He stepped closer to me, standing only a couple feet away from me and removed the helmet off my head. “I knew it was you from the moment I saw you, I just didn’t want to believe it. You thought everypony would forget the washed up reporter that had it all. Well you’re sadly mistaken.” He waved a hoof, motioning for the guards to take me away.The guards trotted towards me, pointing their swords at me. One guard stepped behind me, and placed hoof cuffs on my hoof, and roughly pushed me towards the captain.
“Printer, for the murder of an unknown creature, you are hereby sentenced to a life in prison. Do you have anything you like to say for yourself?”
I looked down, and kept silent.
The door slammed open. The sun blinded my eyes, and a bunch of ponies were standing outside the shield, watching me as the guards took me away, silently asking what I’d done. The colt who helped me, my only friend, looked at me with tears streaming down his cheeks. He ran past the guards, and hugged my leg.
“I’m so sorry! I got you caught! It’s all my fault!” He shouted, sobbing into my coat.”Stupid! Stupid!”
I smiled, I would hug the kid, but my hooves were cuffed. “It’s okay kid. You’re plan was brilliant, it’s just this old timer wasn’t fit for the job. Don’t blame yourself for my failure. You’re father would have been proud of you.” I said as a tear trailed down my cheek. “You’re like the son I never had.”
“R-Really?”
I nodded.
He turned to the guard who was holding me captive.“Please don’t take him away! Please he’s the only friend I have!” He begged for the guards to release me from the cuffs. “Please let him go!”
“Can someone get this kid out of here!” The captain shouted as he was following behind me . “We don’t have time for this! Somepony get him out of here!”
A guard that came from within the group dragged him away from the scene, trotting towards the hospital. “Printer is innocent! He’s done nothing wrong!”
I watched as the kid was dragged away, disappearing out of my sight. I sat down on the hospital steps, but I could still hear him begging for me to be released.
The guard who fed the creature the medicine stopped the guards and stepped in front of me. He leaned closer to my ear, whispering, “ Now Equestria isn’t in danger, and it’s all thanks to you.”
I growled. “Why? Why would you do that!?” I shouted, struggling to get the cuffs off so I could beat him to a bloody pulp, but received a wicked blow in the back of my head, making my vision blurry.
“Celestia was helping the creature get better without knowing what it was capable of doing once it regained its health. So I saved Equestria by killing it. I was going to just kill it and didn’t care if I got caught later on ‘cause I’ll do anything to protect my home, unlike you and the rest of them.” He chuckled. “But it looks like you took the fall for me.”
I gritted my teeth.“You son of bitch! I’ll kill you!”
“Look on the bright side, you’ll make a good comeback after years in retirement.” He stepped back, and patted my head. “You should be thanking me.”
I spat in his face. “You can’t do this to me! He killed the creature not me! I didn’t do it! I DIDN’T DO IT!” I begged, hoping somepony would believe me. But everypony stood where they were and watched me get placed inside the carriage.
I knew where they were going and I knew how my life was going to be for now on. I couldn’t help but to chuckle as I thought about what the headlines in newspapers would read tomorrow.
Legendary Printer gets put into the life in prison for the acts of murder.
A couple of weeks later...
Two stallions stood inside a room filled with bodies lying on metal tables. A light bulb swung back and forth, making it hard to see. One guard held a clipboard in his hooves, writing down names, while the other one was eating a hay chilly dog.
Soap pulled out a metal table that was labeled: Unknown,revealing a tall body under a white sheet.”What we got here?” he said, looking down at the clipboard, and reading something that was written down on there. “A hairless creature, height eight seven, it appears be in it’s early age. Died of getting too much medicine all at once.”
Cartwheels took another bite of his haydog, moaning with each bite. “Dude, you gotta try this! It’s so bucking good!”
Soap shook his head. “I don’t eat around dead bodies.” He simply said, and pulled down the white sheets. The creature skin was pale, it had black hair, and it’s eyes were closed. “Damn, this thing is ugly.”
Cart laughed. “So this is what Celestia’s been hiding. After Printer murdered this thing, her secret was revealed to the public making everypony panic for nothing.”
Soap sighed, shaking his head. “Everypony just panics over everything now. Idiots.” He turned around to a small table filled with scalpels and other surgery tools. “Help me with this, will ya!”
He stuffed the remains of the haydog in his mouth and gulped it down before asking, "Why can't YOU do it?"
“Because it’s a two-stallion job. Now get your fat ass here and help me!”
Cartwheels groaned and trotted over to help his friend. Silence filled with room as they continued with their work, the light bulb blinking off and on as it swung around. They didn’t even notice the sheets moving where the creature’s mouth was.
