Author's Note
There's no guilt and there's no shame.
An Emergency
An Emergency
– I wonder when they'll come again, Fluttershy said as she watched the birds disappear back into the Everfree Forest. I wonder when. Done. Free. Always hungry: greedy ravens. Rooks. Should I trust them? Nature is nature. Eternal peace is eternal war: union of opposites.
Fluttershy once more looked at the crepuscular space underneath the thick crones of the wild forest nearby her house, glancing at the shadows of the happy and satiated birds dance from one tree to another, rustling leaves, moving branches. Once was afraid of it. I am that: the forest is; everything else is me. Thank you very much, Twilight. Love it: everything suspended, unclear, veils lifted, a glimpse beyond allowed. Stillness, calmness, emptiness. Words fail, mind a disease. Will she ever realize this?
Something tucked her tail.
Fluttershy turned around and saw Angel looking at her with angry eyes. Unhappy rabbit.
– Oh, I'm deeply sorry, Angel, Fluttershy exclaimed, feeling a little warmth coming in her cheeks, then turned around and proceeded toward the cottage bathed in the gold and red sheen of the descending Sun. Silly. Not grounded. Difficult not to. Beauty, energy: Nature's eternal delight. Riches, treasures, riches, treasures, riches, treasures, richeeeees. Why doesn't everypony else see this? The haze, the rays, the joy behind it? Light reflecting from every blade of grass. Shimmering rocks. Not a rock. Little serpent: saviour. You're so beautiful. Everything is beauty, beauty, beauty. Joy unutterable.
– Screech
Fluttershy lifted her eyes.
– Hey, fruitbats, what's the matter? Fluttershy said, smiling, still intoxicated by the beauty brought by the kiss between the Sun and Earth.
A flock of fruitbats flew above her toward the dark and thick grove beginning behind her place. Eat at the orchard. Sleep in the Everfree. Memory of home. Everypony knows that feel at twilight. Not that time yet. Shadows present yet the Sun intense: duality of unity. Crown in the kingdom. Beauty of Celestia. Looks like a swan. What's higher than her? Nothing. Chickens need food: last supper before the night.
Fluttershy took the bucket filled with seeds standing outside the chicken pen into her teeth and, despite Angel's scornful expression, proceeded inside the fenced area. In the company of chickens, she released the bucket, put one hoof in it, and then threw the grain into the air. Like drops of amber glittered the seeds under the rays of the disappearing Sun.
The hungrier birds jumped into the air, while others waited for the more ravenous and aggressive to calm down and tried to find a favourable spot close to the food.
– Calm down, you pretties, Fluttershy said. Enough for all of you. Don't like the cackling and fighting. Edible birds uttering such horrible cries. Hideous beauty in it.
Feeding done, Fluttershy shifted her attention back to the angry rabbit. Unlucky rabbit today. Yes, you are. Treat would feel better in the end. Excess makes the heart grow fonder. Spoiled you too much: the spoiler.
– I promise no more distractions till your belly is full, Fluttershy said.
Angel, with the response satisfied, continued jumping toward the back door of the cottage a few hundred meters ahead, the yellow horse following him.
The beautiful vistas of the landscape immersed in the lights of the sunset Fluttershy watched on the way to her domain. Everything seemed to be drowned in astral fire, colours saturated to the brim and distinction between shadow and light made extremely sharp, almost physical. The fields on the hills between the Everfree Forest and Ponyville waved like if they were a sea of emerald green, the golden sheen of the Sun shimmering liquid like on the carpets of grass. Like liquid crystals glimmered the ponds, infused with gold volatile and as quicksilver ineffable. The clouds, slowly being carried away by the evening breeze, reminded of marshmallows, fluffy and pink. Although the hue of the sky was already of a darker shade of blue than during the day, it still exerted a feeling of tremendous solar power, especially on the horizon, where an ecstatic explosion of red, orange and purple painted the celestial abode. As a final touch to the general transcendence, Ponyville, in the distance, already near the horizon, became distant, ephemeral, in the aurulent haze lost, an ancient city rising again.
Red gold: the sky. More, more, more. More light! How I love it here. Want to drown in it. Dissolve. Object: abject: subject-object: nothing. It's true: see for yourself, the summer fields. Nothing matters; it's a breeze. As intense as first time. Never want to leave. Again and again and again. Pleasure of dissolution is all, pain of leaving nothing. Why others don't see it? No one leaves. Always coming together. Fear. Scary. Poor Twilight. What she'll do when the ordeal comes? Difficult task.
She reached the back door, opened it, and went inside, where the white rabbit, hungry, for her waited, tapping impatiently his foot against the wooden floor. Meet lettuce, my angel. Stuck in the mind, dust devils her only reality. Can help. Too afraid. Don't want to hurt her: she can only be alone out there. Everypony's alone: see the lie. Harmony: six: beauty: harmony: interconnection. Interconnected perfection. Everything in the universe is beauty.
– Hello there, Fluttershy, Discord said, flying into the kitchen from the living room. Thank goodness you came. I was getting bored. Look what I did to spend time.
He pointed at the living room, occupied by heaps of white paper covered with written word.
Fluttershy sighed. The stuff I put up with.
– Were you trying to write a novel? She asked. Wait a little, Angel. Don't give me that stare.
– I tried and tried and tried, but, ah, Discord said dramatically, putting his left hand on his forehead, closing his eyes, and throwing the head back.
Another look at the living room revealed a table with a typewriter in the middle and the whole floor and all walls, ceiling included, scribbled with “All work and no play makes Discord sad” in angular letters.
– Can you turn it back to normal, please? Fluttershy said.
Discord looked at her, then exhaled heavily.
– Fine. You're such a buzzkiller today. That time of the month?
Blush on the face, Fluttershy closed her eyes and pointed with her right hoof at the living room. Calm. Calm. Calm. Breathe in, breathe out. Nice but at times too much too handle. Not now.
– Fine. You're not in the mood, Discord said, shoulders dropped, head bent down. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I'll go and lock myself in my room. Can I come for dinner?
Not a single muscle twitched in Fluttershy's body. Learned that trick long ago.
– Okay. I'll go, Discord, disappointed, said and walked back into the room whence he had appeared.
Not until Discord was out of the kitchen did the yellow horse move.
Fluttershy proceeded to the zone next the sink, where she always kept a bowl of fresh fruits and vegetables ready in case Angel wanted to eat. Knows drama. No point in changing him. Always wanted and wants to have fun: not a really evil thing. Too out there for my tastes. Some times it's good. If you know the game, it's fun to play. One carrot, some lettuce, broccoli, especially broccoli, radish. You're already crossing the threshold, my Angel. Let's begin with the carrot. Angel's vegetable kingdom: his heaven. Simple life: floating, not swimming. Being. Why is it too hard to understand? He understands. Why me? Likes thin. Spoiled rabbit. My bad. Unbalanced love not good. Between mercy and severity. Need to be more assertive. Try. Try my very best. Armour is there: horse in a suitcase. Good thing I'm aware. Most of the times free from it. Cloaks me when with ponies. Poneunkind. Horses that are ill. Now lettuce. Who am I to say? Locked in the mind, its manacles. Twilight: her next step. She can't stay here long. To the sun. Too early. Didn't visit the shores of her sea: water is hidden, like fire. Too much air for a student of magic. Not even earthy. Celestia knows: reason she's here. Still more or less unbalanced. Stuck in splendour, unable to move. Tower is not eternal. Sentries of victory will flash; the tower will fall: how to destroy alicorns. Now, broccoli. Either that or the eye. Won't handle: eye is so horny: the woods are alive with the smell of his coming. Everypony's afraid of it, really. What if she'll slip and break her aura? It's something you prepare for all of your life. Door is the only solution. Why love is red when it's green? Dark age. Door is the way out. There love begins. Or trouble. Time to cut the radish. Every plant an university. She's good: purple: between Celestia and Luna. The pearl above the sea that leads us across the desert, always in the back of our minds. Scary sometimes at certain moments: dark side of the moon. Why do I think of her so much? Crush? Had loved once: it was backwards. Drank gold: power in its purest state. What if they knew? Work: finished.
Vegetables into little cubes turned, Fluttershy opened the drawer above the sink, and a white bowl, immaculate, clean, was brought from its bowels. She swept the vegetable mix into the bowl, then placed it on the table, where a rabbit waited impatiently for dinner.
– Here you go, Angel, Fluttershy said. Hope you enjoy it.
– What about meee, Discord whined, his head from the middle of the wall appearing, eyes pleading. Why don't you care about me.
– You can take care of yourself, Fluttershy said, moving toward the passage leading into the living room. Don't react.
– But that's not how you treat your friends, Discord said. His head, removed from the wall, followed Fluttershy.
– Well, um, you're more than thousands years old, Fluttershy said, and have seemingly unlimited powers. Why do I need to do your every bidding. That's not what friends do.
Discord frowned.
– Well played, but please excuse me, for I have a banquet to make, he said, and appeared after a burst of white light in cook's clothes and with a long thin moustache.
Head held high, Discord went snobbishly into the kitchen.
Toward the window the yellow horse proceeded. Have to wait. How much? Must socialize more. Alright here but balance most of all. Scarier among other ponies than nature. Who framed your fearful symmetry? Through the window or the eye? More beautiful outside.
Sllt.
The warm air of a summer evening penetrated her lungs. The Green Mare. As above so below. Fourfold rapture. Single vision: Twilight's stuck in it. So is Rainbow. Where are you? Wish I could help her. Hang there. Always here. Still looking for things nopony else can see. Applejack? Closer: digging her way to heaven. Rarity? Eye of detail, artistic vision: makes two. Pinkie knows. Wisdom of the idiots: path of blame. What else from the Outer Head? Does she suspect who's the Inner? Lo and behold! Awesome rapture of nature. Forget yourself in waves of bliss. Everything hidden is outside: the joke. Are fish aware of water? Magic? Art of making them aware. So much beauty. Could stay here forever. Nature so beautiful: a language. Can't you read?
Fluttershy went down the porch and, eyes wide from the sensory overdose of scintillating evening's beauty, sat on the last step. Ideal here. Air. Water. Earth. Fire. Joy, joy, joy. Descend and unite with beast: tongue of joy. Essence of dying. Night is night from the viewpoint of me. Outside it ecstasy. Birth is separating; death is coming together. Everything in reverse. When I kiss, I cease to exist. Die. Die daily. I am when you are away. I am not when we are together. Love through which I am no longer I. The joke. I am; the universe is not. I am not; the universe is. Better get on with it.
Eyes closed, Fluttershy inhaled, first inflating the belly, pushing the diaphragm down, then letting the chest expand, filling it with air to the limit, and exhaled. As the exhalation ended, she felt her body relax, especially the stomach area and the shoulders. Good. Shake it away. Tension the life killer: fruit of the mind. No guilt, no shame. Cloudsdale. Must undo myself now. Want to live, not exist in mental delusion. Concentrate. Let go.
Air moves across my skin and my mane. Bird chirps on the right. Stream is flowing.
Gust of wind blows. Grass in the fields rustles. Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up: Discord sings.
Clang! Something falls. Discord curses. Shame arouses. Memory of me messing up in the cafeteria appears. Shame is strong. Memory fades away. Shame disappears. Joy arouses. Bird flaps
Animal door flaps. Bunny hops. Sounds stop. Image of Rainbow Dash appears. Image fades away. Longing appears. Bird flaps. Longing fades away.
Something splashes in the stream. Discord laughs. A chicken cries.
Wind is colder. Grasshoppers sing.
Rustle.
Still.
Xxx
– Fluttershy, Discord shouted from behind. Aren't you forgetting something?
Fluttershy, surprised, opened her eyes and was greeted by the sight of a night sky covered in white shining dots.
– Oh, my, she said, nervous and ashamed. What time is it? Is it too late?
– Oh no, Discord's ambiguous voice said from behind. What kind of animal are you to think that I, your friend, would let you miss a thing as important as this?
– So what is it? Fluttershy said worriedly, turned around, and was surprised by Discord's absence.
– Half an hour left, Discord said, his warm breath brushing against Fluttershy's neck.
Irritated, Fluttershy turned back and stared into the mischievous eyes of the chaotic God. Hate when he does this. Voice: two sided. What to believe?
– Don't look at me like that? Discord retorted, then started shrinking in size till he was as big as Angel. You make me feel all evil and guilty.
Frozen, Fluttershy continued to stare. Better to double check everything. Loves practical jokes at the expense of the particular. Blind chance: monarch: his view. Chaos is harmony, harmony is chaos. Don't want to miss Cool. Agrarian roots: my youth: cerealogy.
– Relax, Discord, annoyed, said, growing up to his normal size. I'm telling the truth. You're getting as paranoid as Celestia when her sister hit puberty. It's bad for your health, you know? Makes you rigid. What were you doing here, by the way?
Fluttershy stood up and stretched her legs, one after another.
– I was trying the exercise you've given me, she said. Became dead, still. Universe flowed through me, functioned perfectly. Need to walk a little. Hoofs on Earth, head in the sky.
– The posture thing? Discord, elated, asked, wide smile on the face, stars sparkling in his eyes. You really did?
– Yes. What's the problem?
– It's, just, well, I proposed it to our Sunshine horse a long time ago, but she turned it down, Discord said as he morphed through the wall.
Sllt.
Fluttershy closed the door. Night: beautiful. Some time left for these escape attempts. Can make some tea. Green. Night will be long: strange, dismal entertainment awaits.
– She did have some aversion toward my magic. I guess not everyone likes sigils, Discord continued.
– What are sigils? Fluttershy, curious, asked. Heard about it somewhere. Twilight.
– I'll tell about it later. Baby steps, Fluttershy, baby steps. In my magic prudence is important; otherwise you'll risk going too strong and too fast and achieving effects that you're simply not ready to use. Can end badly. I know.
– Why don't you teach Twilight about it, not me? Fluttershy asked, traversing through the vast living room, a bright yellow light shining warmly from above. Anxious already. Must not be afraid of ponies I haven't met. Ponyville anyway. Angel: asleep.
– Her? Discord said, face a frown of disgust. All she is doing is meddling in kindergarten stuff. Beating the horn. She knows enough spells. It's time for her to take the leap. I am perfectly aware Celestia sent her to Ponyville to push her farther up the grades, but, damn, does she moves slowly.
He knows! Of course. God of chaos. Not sure anymore. Chaos is order that doesn't look like one from our point of view he tells me. Order is nice. Then you have to take the step. If you don't flow, you're risking getting stuck. Kindred spirits, in some sense.
– Also, Discord continued, floating behind Fluttershy, she is simply not ready. As I heard, she freaked out immensely when she couldn't fulfill Celestia requirements. These ordeals, as you know, demand total surrender. You literally must sacrifice everything, including your mind, if you want to make it through.
– And that's your function? Fluttershy asked. Make ponies aware of chaos? Herbs on the table. Kettle already on the stove. Needs water. Strives for evil, serves the greater good.
– It was. Then I got pushed into the background, so I got a little angry and made some mess, and then she got a little angry too. Hmm, the more I look, the more I think she's a megalomaniac and a narcissist. Pushed me away, then pushed her sister away. Nah. Probably a masochist. Like you.
– Huh? The yellow horse said as she turned the stove on after having poured needed water into the kettle.
Wearing a black costume, with little round glasses on his nose and well groomed white hair on his head, Discord materialized a couch beneath Fluttershy in a poof of gray smoke and an armchair for himself.
– You see, my dear Fluttershy, you manifest all the classical sign of the masochistic character, Discord said, elbows on the armchair's handles, fingers intertwined, to the confused horse lying on the couch in front of him. Inability to express assertion and your own desires for fear of punishment; intolerance of success and every situation that puts in a spotlight, again out of fear of punishment; constant anxiety about new types of situations and about other ponies lest you mess something up and be punished again; inability to express yourself out of fear of punishment in whatever form you imagine; an ever present feeling of basic fault, as if something is inherently wrong with you and you're inferiour to other ponies; and, last but not least, an extreme fear about feeling strong emotions or even pleasure. As a result, you're afraid of other ponies, of feeling pleasure, and even showing yourself because that, in your perspective, means that you will be judged, criticized, punished, put down; and therefore your whole life is nothing more but denial of pleasure and turning down opportunities. How close am I?
Fluttershy got up from the couch, which then floated up to the ceiling and burst like a balloon. Pop!
– How is that related to Princess Celestia? She asked. Like an open book. What to expect? Know all about myself. Damn school: hell of the normal. Thousand piercing eyes. Understand now. Nothing else could have been expected. Repressed must be further repressed. Still hurts. It works and it hurts. She was there: my desert rose.
– Hmmm. Now that you mention it, it doesn't, Discord said, scratching his beard. Then I guess she's a narcissist. She's definitely a sadist - I can say that with total certainty. Too bad she knows it. But you're a masochist, Fluttershy.
– I've been making progress, Fluttershy exclaimed, eyes fixed at the backyard bathed in the light of the moon. It's hard, it's hard, it's hard, which is good, which is good, which is good. Bad feeling. Something's off. Who's he? Narcissist. Wants attention: histrionic Twilight would say. What's worse?
– Yeah, one step ahead, and then two steps back, Discord rolled his eyes. Fear indeed is the traitor that locks your life away, Fluttershy.
Fluttershy shrugged. That's me. Armour: strong. First: acceptance. Second: awareness. Third: change. Terrifying. Every true change is terrifying. Fishy. Tea's ready. Character. Not who I am. Defense structure. Less armour, more freedom. Still remains, though: equine nature. How is she? Anxious. Last time saw her about a week ago. Empty eyes. Love's secret demise. Falling back into sleep. Can't do anything: horror of the situation.
Fluttershy took two cups standing on the drier upside down and put on the table on which an empty bowl stood, leftover from a bunny's feast.
– Tea? She asked, putting herbs into one cup and then into another.
– Yes, why not, Discord said, abandoning the doctor's gown, which acquired a life of its own the moment it lost contact with him and quietly left the building through the door leading into the backyard. Is there something wrong?
Fluttershy shook her head left and right as she poured water in both vessels, steam forming ephemeral mirages in the air, doorways into the sidereal.
– It's obvious when you're worried about something, Discord said. Tell me what is it?
Fluttershy opened her mouth when an aural intrusion reverberated through the house.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
In less time than required to form a thought Fluttershy looked left, knot of anxiety in her stomach.
– Who could that be at such time of the day? Discord asked curiously and sarcastically. Are you expecting someone? Don't tell me you have found a coltfriend. I will be jealous.
– I w-w-wasn't expecting anyone, really. Fluttershy said. Who could that be? Does he know?
– Are you gonna see who is that? Discord asked.
– I...I.. don't know, Fluttershy said with clearly defined fear in her voice. It could be everyone. That faceless pony. The green one.
– Okay. Then I will push you in its direction, Discord said, placed his hands on Fluttershy's shoulders, and started pushing her ahead. It's so hard with you. Just some lost soul came to visit you at the wrong time and you're all oh my, it must be something evil and wicked.
– What if it is something evil and wicked? Fluttershy said, struggling with all her might against Discord's force, forelegs planted hard into the floor.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Fluttershy gulped. Why are you here? Away from ponies, close to nature? Angel, against my weak will: liked the place, its feel. Everfree forest right behind: liminality: I am here, not there; I am not here, I am there. The only thing to fear is fear itself. Not going anywhere.
Slowly Discord pushed the scared horse into the living room.
– How much do you weight? He said, panting. Please don't tell me you're pregnant. Who's the father? That princess Cadence's colt in the Crystal Empire? He does have a certain luck with the ladies.
Fluttershy, paralyzed, paid little attention to Discord's words. Light: too strong, almost unreal. Twilight? Busy with grade eight stuff. Applejack? Family evening. Pinkie? Party organizer. Rarity? Manehattan. Rainbow Dash? Wonderbolts, living the dream. Not sure anymore. Closed after seven. Not some customer. Emergency? Breathe in. Breathe out. Calmer. Better go.
However, all of Fluttershy's anxiety disappeared when she saw who the nightly visitor was as its contours and details in the round window next to the door appeared. Cannot be! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
Fluttershy flew forward, taking Discord by surprise, who fell on the floor. Thump!
Having reached the door, she put her left hoof on the doorknob and opened in it in one jerky motion. Sllt.
– I'm sorry I was so slow I didn't know it was you if I only knew it was you, Fluttershy said quickly, but upon seeing what condition her friend was in, she lost all words. Hairy mother of Celestia!
On the porch, by the yellow light coming from the living room illuminated, Rainbow Dash stood, her face emotionless, her eyes tired and sad, distant and pleading. The light from inside the house accentuated the shadows of her face, making the bruises and the cuts look darker.
– Can I come in? Rainbow Dash asked, tired.
– Of course, Fluttershy said. What happened? Brawl? Can't smell cider. Flying accident?
As Rainbow Dash walked inside, Fluttershy took a good look at her friend. The first feature that prominently stood in the appearance of the usually carefree mare were the bruises on the legs and body, purple and alien, and the scratches, already covered with a crust of dried blood, the biggest one being almost a gash on her forehead. The usually wide and clean mane lay now, rustled and dirty, on the neck, an used washcloth left for drying up. Her wings, oddly, looked intact, only several feathers out of place.
– How are you feeling, Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy asked, closing the door. Sllt. Bandages: shelf on the left. Everything else there. Trembling. Jaw tight. Breathing shallow, heavy: holding back.
A tremble passed through Rainbow's body, and Fluttershy saw the muscles of her throat lock as the blue pegasus tried to suppress the emotion seeking a way to burst to the outside.
– Will be back soon, Fluttershy said and flew into the kitchen, avoiding Discord on the way.
– A terrifying creature indeed, Discord retorted sarcastically.
Fluttershy didn't pay attention to him, as she was busy taking the needed medications. Bandages. Disinfectant. Must prepare water. Her eyes. Brush. Bring one later from my room. Whole bath will be better. First local treatment. Builds contact. Closed.
– Take this and go to her, Fluttershy said, took a roll of white cloth into her mouth, then threw it to Discord.
Discord, taken aback, caught the bandages. His mouth opened, but he was unable to utter any words, for Fluttershy threw him a bottle of crystal clear antiseptic liquid and then moved across the kitchen. Without any sign of protest Discord left the room.
Here it is. Fluttershy found a large ceramic bowl, placed it on the table, then once again filled the kettle with water and put in on the stove, her movements quick, precise. Five minutes. Check them. Trust you, Discord. Her eyes. Shouldn't have gone there. Things we never had.
In less than a sixteenth of a second was Fluttershy back with Rainbow Dash and Discord.
– I think something's wrong with her, Discord whispered to Fluttershy, who slowly descended back to the floor.
– Rainbow, what happened? Fluttershy asked, eyes fixed on the depressed, distant mare.
After what seemed like an eternity of heavy tension, Rainbow Dash lifted her head and looked at Fluttershy with eyes tired of everything.
– Sometimes I hate myself.
Fluttershy moved her eyes left, right, up, down. What to say? What to say? Break the ice. Break the ice. Don't let her go there. She's here: good. Matter of time.
– Oh really? Discord said, lifting his eyebrows. What did you really do that you suddenly hate yourself so much? Caused enough mayhem to make Princess Celestia turn you into a statue?
– Discord! Fluttershy said, angry. Don't go there.
– What? Your friend Rainbow Dash says she hates herself because...what? Didn't manage to satisfy her narcissistic desire?
It seemed to work. Fluttershy saw how Rainbow Dash's eyes shone and her jaw and shoulders tightened.
– I don't like myself because I'm a loser, Rainbow Dash said, her voice gradually escalating. No matter what I do, it's never enough. I can't do anything right. I'm a failure.
– Why's that? Discord said, sarcastically. Didn't manage to do a double rainboom? Overcome the speed of light? Transcend the physical rules of space and time? Achieve alicornhood? The last one is easy - satisfy Celestia and she'll give you the secret. The magical spot is under her tail.
Anger forgotten, Rainbow Dash brought her stare back to the floor, her whole body looking small, contracted, a filly fearing punishment.
– I can't impress them no matter what I do, she said, and dropped her plot on the floor, shoulders drooping as low as possible.
– Why do you need to impress them, pray tell? You're already on the top, Discord asked.
– They judge.
– So?
– If I'm not perfect, they will kick me out, forget me, Rainbow Dash said, voice desperate, cold. They already did anyway.
– What a surprise, Discord said, clapping and smiling. I was just telling Yellow Quiet here that her problems are caused by an irrational fear of punishment from other ponies.
Rainbow looked at Fluttershy and smiled.
– Guess that's why I always come to you.
Fluttershy smiled, blushing, in return. Best friends. Drawn together like magnets. You are outside what I am on the inside. I am on the outside what you are inside. Far away yet closer than everypony else. Unity in duality. Forgot about water.
- I'll be back in a minute, Fluttershy said, turned around, and galloped into the kitchen, where an almost boiling kettle started to send delicate streams of transparent steam into the emptiness of space. Bowl on the table. Water okay? She tested the temperature of the liquid with her hoof. Hot but not too hot. Warm. Relaxing. Cathartic. Anxiety after showers: energy moving. Why resist? Educational brainwashing: born as angels, made into the living dead. I walk but do not see. Kettle in her teeth, Fluttershy poured the liquid into the bowl. Poor Rainbow. See her pain. Pushed too much. Discord's right. Her problem: to be on top, otherwise others will abandon her. Always in control: horrific way of life. Can't fight it. Less struggle, better things go. School: the source. Torn between a struggle to be free and to impress others. Will be her end one day. Pushes herself too much. Escape: the real motive: open up the sky.
Fluttershy took the bowl in her forehooves, then flew into the living room at a speed unusually fast for her. Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy when she came back into the room, eyes sad, longing, while Discord talked, serenely floating.
– Know what? I kinda wonder what kind of place your school or home was that it resulted in you two, he said.
– Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash said. Was among top graduates.
– Cloudsdale, Discord said with disgust. Then I am not surprised. They're so anal it's not even funny. Don't like pegasi that much. Too full of themselves. Take everything way too seriously. Once was the most bloodiest race in Equestria, then Celestia did a little shake here and there and it all went more or less peacefully from then on.
– Hey, don't insult my race, Rainbow Dash said, power present in her voice. We are a proud race who fought against evil forces for the sake of Equestria.
– That's utter bullcrap, Discord said, then yawned. I was there. I know. And the forces of evil? Please. Earth ponies who wanted to get free from the abusive lords? Unicorns who didn't give a flying buck about them? Changelings? Griffons? Dragons? If you call going to their lands, killing, robbing, and then making them pay you a tribute fighting for the good, then I am the living embodiment of Order.
– You're lying! Rainbow Dash said, voice loud and strong.
– You don't believe me? Let me show you.
– Not now, Fluttershy interrupted them. Not today. Not even tomorrow. You need rest, Rainbow.
Fluttershy landed in front of Rainbow Dash and put the bowl on the floor.
– Please give me a piece of cloth, Discord, she asked. The last time I did it? Back in school. That wound on the forehead. Must hurt badly. Looks lost. This world is ice cold when you're alone.
As soon as Discord handled her the cloth, Fluttershy took it into her mouth, dumped it into the water, then took out and squeezed it from the unnecessary liquid.
– I'm sorry, but it will hurt a bit, Fluttershy said, then placed the cloth right on Rainbow Dash's forehead.
Rainbow closed her eyes and cringed, looking uncomfortable while Fluttershy cleaned her wounds and face from dried up blood and mud, streams of water going down her face and falling down on the floor, the room's yellow light reflected in them.
In reaction to Rainbow's discomfort, Fluttershy tried to make the rubbing as soft as possible. Doesn't like contact. Side effect of life. Always in struggle: in and out: to control and let go. Rushing from one side to another. Missed a spot. Warm. The way we rolled, from morning till sunset. Sunset the best time. Morning: perfect for calm movement. How slow can you go? Around the mouth. Now it's gone. Everything changes; nothing stays the same. Ponyville her place. Her breath: warm, arousing memories: see the pony who was once you. Her escape. Now cider. Worse than Twilight. We do everything but let go of everything. Look at little foals, fillies: riding the wind. Little left on the neck. Warm. Would cuddle. Burst like lightning. Needs it: restores the healthy self. Love her. Always will.
Fluttershy finished and, content with the result, dropped the dirty cloth on the floor. Looks better. Still sad. Plastic stripped back.
– Without dirt and blood, it doesn't look that bad, Fluttershy said, smiling. Now I'll apply some antiseptic, so be prepared. It will sting. Discord, give it to me please, along with some cloth.
From the outstretched hands took Fluttershy the requested objects. Doesn't like loneliness: meeting with yourself: not many can handle that. Necessary if you want to understand others better. I'll be there. She opened the antiseptic, which immediately hit her nose with its pungent smell, and poured it onto the white cloth. Why so strong? Head hurts. Too much chemistry. Out of herbal one. Ask Rarity later. Fluttershy put the bottle on the floor, then, cloth in her hooves, proceeded to stroke it delicately across the wounds on Rainbow Dash's face, who reacted by holding her breath and squeezing all the muscles of her face. For your own good. All divine substances makes you feel bad first and good later: Song of the Adorable One. Cowdwana. Wish to visit it someday. Never allows everypony else to treat her this way unless it's an absolute emergency. Not with me. Makes her feel good, accepted, home. The only whom she can be herself with. Always was. Eyes more alive. Coming back. Good.
– So, Discord, annoyed, broke the comfortable silence, this is what lies beneath top cunt?
– Stop insulting me, Rainbow Dash shouted weakly.
– Be careful, Rainbow, Fluttershy said, keeping the cloth away while Rainbow talked lest it accidentally got in some place not desired nor required. Don't mock her. She had enough for today.
– I was just making an observation, Discord said as a shining white ring appeared between his horns. If after some incredible shock she seems to be so sad, silent, reflective compared to her usual I don't give a crap about my friends self, then it seems to me a concussion here and there suits her, even if it's just for the benefit of making her think about things she does wrong.
– Nobody likes shocks, Fluttershy said. Possible to learn without shocks. If you're receptive enough.
– Well, my dear Fluttershy, serenity is a problem for me. I thought you already knew this, with all of the time we spent together. Didn't I tell you that sometimes it is necessary to go out of your mind to come out to your senses.
– You don't know what it's like to see your dreams crash, Rainbow Dash said, barely holding the trembling in her voice. What is like to devote your life to something only to realize that it's not what you imagined it to be.
– Your dream was kinda sucky in the first place, Discord said, bored. Be a wonderbolt, the best flier in all of Equestria, all that jazz. All for fifteen minutes of fame. You got Art imprinted on your flanks, yet you spend all your life looking at the wrong things.
– I spent my whole life reaching it. I have put everything into it.
– What pushed you towards this noble dream? I don't believe you had it for your whole life.
Rainbow Dash wanted to answer but nothing came out of her opened mouth.
– That's what I thought, Discord said.
– Give Rainbow Dash some quiet and give me more bandage material, Fluttershy said. Now legs and body. Fell head first. Flank and hindlegs clean, intact. Maybe for the better. Discord here. They mocked me, but they cheered her up: the same thing.
– Did you already forget the breezies? Discord asked, giving Fluttershy another piece of cloth. Sometimes it's necessary to push ponies. Tough love, baby.
– Not in this condition.
– Exactly in this condition. Otherwise she'll never grow up.
– From what? Rainbow Dash retorted, sad and angry. From my dream. Why do I need to listen to you at all? You are nothing but trouble?
– You hurt my feelings, Discord said, placing his hands on the chest, tears in his eyes. I'm just a spirit that brings a happy chaos from which enlightenment may come.
– You can't enlighten anypony.
– If you think enlightenment is something other than destruction of all illusions you have, then you spend too much time in the self help section of Twilight's library, Discord said in his usual businesslike sarcastic tone.
– Then why Celestia imprisoned you if you're so good?
– He is good, Fluttershy said, squeezing the wet cloth. He wasn't appreciated.
– Sooo...he went bonkers and messed all up? Like Luna?
Fluttershy nodded, then moved towards Rainbow Dash's right side. Return of the repressed. Never be at war with elements of Nature. Ends in confusion. Confront ourselves, even if its painful.
– Would you go crazy if you weren't recognized? Discord asked.
– That's why I'm here, Dash said, angry.
– Case closed.
Silence, reflective and nocturnal, fell after Discord's words. Rainbow Dash, tired, closed her eyes, her head bent down, shoulders dropped, a hero defeated, an ego broken.
Fluttershy, meanwhile, started scraping dirt from her shoulders. Fear: her shadow. Sees it in me. Lashes out at me sometimes: anger directed at the recognition of herself in me. No matter where we go, we always bump into and meet ourselves. Five pebbles. What I see in her? Know yourself, then love it. If you're the world, you can't love it unless you love yourself. The yellow pegasus cleaned diligently every spot of dirt and every scratch on Rainbow Dash's body and mane. Smells of wind. Want to put my head on it. Warm cushion. There was a time, now very far away, when we did nothing else but hug night and day. Beautiful summer. Our room: secret domain. Golden mares. So much muscle now. Used to be less. Maybe not. Less tense they were. Chest clean. Heart beating. Fragile. Out of the strong came forth sweetness. Better not to go down there. Summer mares. My only friend back then. Worlds collided when our hooves touched. Abused pleasure responsibly. Still do it sometimes. Mushroom mares. Look at her mane.
– You know, I kinda have a question, Rainbow Dash said, relaxed yet sad. What exactly happened to Luna? Why did she turned into Nightmare Moon? Twilight said that she went really mad when she went back in time, or saw the past, or whatever because of that potion on the Summer Sun day. Luna was important, after all, not some spirit of chaos.
– Oh, that's a family thing. Second daughter syndrome if you might call it, Discord said, looking bored. Feeling unappreciated, not loved as much as her big sister. You should have seen how her enthusiasm seeped bit by bit after she was assigned with the moon, the night, the dreams. Even when they imprisoned me in stone, the tension between them was so intense you could literally feel it in the air. It was like being massaged by a thundercloud.
– So, she also kinda wanted to prove that she's as great as Celestia, but failed and then exploded?
– More or less, Discord said. She was like something opposite to you in that aspect. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, like you, she went and created as much trouble as possible.
– But she is suffering now, feeling guilty, Rainbow Dash said, wincing as Fluttershy cleaned a particular painful scratch on the base of her neck. And I'm not an alicorn. I can only do so much before falling down.
– Correction, you're not alicorn yet.
– What? Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
– He's just joking, Fluttershy said, cleaning Rainbow's mane with large sweeps. Did it in school. Loved playing with it. Rare mares. Rare mare indeed. All mine. Was. Is. In her eyes. Calm down. Discord here. Does he know? Did I hide it good? Didn't say anything. Presume not. Whistle and I'll come to you, my Dash. Please go away. Whistle and I'll come.
– Are you? Rainbow Dash asked.
– I'm joking, seriously, Discord said. Or am I? Whatever. One extra horny and winged creature is enough around these parts.
– Don't talk about Twilight like that!
– She's our friend, Fluttershy said, and we'll treat her as one even if she's a princess.
– So, no one of you thinks that she's a privileged, entitled, comfortable in her own skin heterosexual unicorn? Discord said, eyebrows aroused. All the morale of Twilight coronation is that listen to the biggest cheese in town, do as it wills, and you'll receive all the glory in world. Boring. What kind of a lesson is that? Why living if you're a pawn in the hands of someone else who uses you for its own plans? She should learn what the key to joy is, not how to listen to some depraved egoarch.
Once again Rainbow Dash opened the mouth but was unable to say anything. The only thing she could do was look down at the floor in total frustration.
– What about our friendship letters to Princess Celestia? Fluttershy asked, moving to Rainbow's left side. She must be interested in us if she asked us to write them.
– Oh, please, Discord said condescendingly. Do you really believe that someone who's thousand of years old would be interested in reading friendship reports from ponies into their early twenties? You need to lay off the ergot, Fluttershy. It makes you think weird things. The only thing that horse does is overlook everything from her solar lodge. Hmm. Now I understand why she likes Twilight so much.
– But Celestia is good! Rainbow Dash said, loud and clear.
– May I remind you that out of light comes darkness. You were educated harshly in Cloudsdale for you own good - that's what they said, right? - and what I see here: two pegasi afraid of living. Afraid in different ways but, still, afraid.
Fluttershy smiled, then hugged Rainbow Dash, burying her face deep into Dash's rainbow mane. Air, ocean, fire, earth, endless space. Take me for another ride through the dark sky. The smile of mare, the touch of a mare, the laugh of a mare, the joy of a mare.
– But we got each other, and that makes it all so much better, she said, eyes closed. When you got friends who understand you and allow you to be yourself, everything feels light. And then darkness seems just a shadow of the light. You know that feel too.
Discord tried to say something in return but words didn't come to his lips. With grunts and half formed words was the space of the room filled as the spirit of chaos tried to regain in some ways his edge. Fluttershy, serene, ans Rainbow Dash, amused, watched as Discord gave up.
– Well played, Fluttershy, well played, Discord said angrily, face a frown of discontent, arms crossed. Now I understand why Celestia sent me to you, not to Twilight.
– Am I seeing it? Rainbow Dash, smiling, said. Am I seeing you...defeated?
– Look who's saying! The pony who looked like if all the disasters in the world befell upon her just because she didn't manage to impress some group of horses that fly a little bit more elegant than usual.
– It's nice seeing you...I don't know?...Like us.
– At least I'm not searching for validation outside of myself, Discord said, and turned his back to the horses. May I remind you that constant shallowness lead to evil.
– I learned that the hard way, thank you very much, Rainbow Dash said.
– Enough, Fluttershy said and returned back to cleaning Rainbow Dash.
– Okay, okay, I'll go if you insist, Discord said, head lifted high. If you need me, I'll be in my chaosphere.
Discord lifted his left paw and was ready to snap his fingers and disappear, but froze in the middle of his action.
– Aren't you forgetting something, Fluttershy?
Fluttershy lifted her head in surprise. A moment later her mouth and eyes widened.
– Oh no, she exclaimed, more surprised than sad.
– What? Rainbow Dash asked.
When she turned her head and looked into Fluttershy's eyes, however, she understood everything.
– It's them, right? She said. They are in town and you wanted to go to their performance and then I came.
Fluttershy looked into Rainbow Dash eyes. Like they matter when you're here. Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire?
– I'm sorry I doubted you, Rainbow said and smiled.
– You know that I will never ever place you on second place, especially if you need help, Fluttershy said.
– I know, Rainbow smiled, I was joking. Please don't be mad.
Fluttershy grinned, then once again hugged the pegasus the colour of orgone. Knew that. Teasing. Good. Light in her eyes is back. Breaking. You need to break if you want to grow. From seeds to animals: the same thing. Whole evening together. The things we could do. Whistle and I'll come over you, my Dash. Beds were a mess: malicious blueprinting everywhere. Her face next to mine, her breath on my neck. For good. Was great. Union through union. Supreme secret is truly love. Don't need books. If you really love, you'll understand intuitively: romance writers have it. May the day not come soon. He's still here.
– It's not too late, Discord said. You can take top cunt with you.
– We're not going to get there in time, Fluttershy said, still hugging Rainbow Dash.
– Well, what are friends for? Discord said and snapped his fingers.
In a flash of white light the two mares disappeared, Fluttershy's cloth slowly landing on the floor.
Xxx
– I think I'm still not all here, Rainbow Dash said as she strolled through the evening streets of Ponyville illuminated by the light falling from the windows of the houses and the occasional streetlight.
– I thought it was glowing, Fluttershy said, looking around at the other ponies enjoying the evening - some returning home after the performance, others simply savouring the coolness of the night free from the great heat of the sun - or looking the clear and dark sky, courtesy of Luna and the weather pegasi. DJ Acid outdid herself. Better than her sister Scratch. Scratch too commercial: nice but not always. Acid is acid: always on edge. Are you certain you know what reality is? As it really is? As it really is?
Once they reached the next intersection, both mares, walking in a perfectly synchronized rhythm, turned left, stepping on the road going from Ponyville to the Everfree forest and swaying on the way there toward Fluttershy cottage. Not the blue nor the yellow horse broke the evening silence, already permeated by stabs of conversation from different groups of ponies.
As down the cobbled street Fluttershy walked, Rainbow on her right side, she looked at other visitors of nocturnal times, some familiar, other deviant, not well known.
Over them a gray pegasus flew erratically. Derpy. Eyes askew. Good friend. Bit foolish: airy, pure potential: messenger: mailman. The two mares passed through another intersection, eyes peeled on the princess of the night showing tricks to children with her might. What's Luna doing here? Learned a lot it seems. Happy. Was scary at first, then started to like her. My destiny: helping elder gods. Wants to be with others. Abandoned royal manners. Must be difficult. Her whole life a cold slow shock. Moon: liquid. Earth a solid. Swims in the oceans of the moon. Would like to visit that place. New creatures. Fluttershy and Rainbow reached a small square where presents, festive banners and ponies in party hats, all female, announced that a birthday was in progress. Oh, no, not her. That pony. Saying what's the right and what's the wrong way. Blocking expression of energy. We are bothered by what scares or bother us from the inside: the sick mirrors the sick. Calls herself the sewage worker: brings the light into the sewage of morality. Birthday today. Morality a trap. They thought it was right to treat me that way in school.
Janitor of moral sanity left behind, the pair was confronted by Applejack, happy, with Applebloom, impatient.
– Hi y'all, she said. Why are ya here, Rainbow Dash? Why do ya look so bad? Ain't ya supposed to be with the Wonderbolts?
Rainbow Dash quickly darted her eyes down.
– Well, eh, things happen.
– Bad things?
– Partly.
– Don't be worried, then, Applejack said, winking, yet her tone worry betraying. Like my grandma use to say, there's no curse without a blessing. Fluttershy, you truly are magical with animals. Winona's jumping like a puppy already.
– It's nothing special, Fluttershy said. You just need to know the right ingredients.
– Dunno about that. Nothing works as good as your stuff. Look, I promised Applebloom we'll visit Pinkie's Saturday show. Need to go. See ya tomorrow.
– Hope you'll have a great time, Fluttershy said, smiling.
– Me too, Rainbow Dash, sad, said.
As Applejack and Applebloom disappeared behind them, Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy with a fearful look, but words didn't escape her mouth.
Fluttershy smiled. Will talk when the time is right. I'll be for her. Always will. Knows that too. Forest nearby. Beautiful night: some ponies wake up, others fall asleep. Who's asleep and who's awake? See the fields ahead. Outside soon we will be. Romantic nights. Kissed her with streams of her vitality all over my mouth. No regrets. Body to body. Where did one end and the other begin? Drowned in gold: the madness, the madness, the madness. Folly persisted leads to wisdom. Climbed the tower, learned the secret of magic high up there. Sea of energy. There is no time. There is no I. One with All: ecstasy: out of myself.
Last houses of Ponyville left behind, sounds of a busy city a distant murmur in the night, the two horses started walking through fields of tall grass waving slightly from the nocturnal breeze, moon a pearl shining above them with white brilliance. As they proceeded further into the wilderness, the more were they greeted by the night peace, suggesting beneath the deceiving quietness strange entertainment of beings unknown, unseen, hidden in the spaces between, in the dark groves, or on top of hills and inside circles of mushrooms; by an ice peace of all things sleeping and still; by the peace cool as snow after the solar displays of the day and which brought a certain touch of contemplation and tranquility to any activity undertaken whilst bathed in the silver spectral rays of the moon; by a handsomely deformed peace that stirred in the blurred boundaries between sound and silence, light and shadow, the imagination of children flowing down into the dreamlands, of painters and poets who used the nocturnal time to communicate with the ancestral souls or dead loves, and of madmen who out of circumstance of fate and fortune fell asleep while awake; by the moon peace, announced by a white chalice showering moon's milk into unquiet skulls of sentient beings who lost the ability to sleep at nights.
Although the nocturnal landscape emanated stillness, as if the whole existence returned back into the place above the sea, across the abyss, Fluttershy knew it was deceptive; for a little bit inhibition applied to the rational mind was enough to make the groves, the trees, the fields alive with sidereal and Spare activities. With imagination it was easy to picture satyrs prancing around in the patches of tall grass, their arms melting into each other, creating a single combination of beings. It was easy to see how nymphs flowed through the bark of the trees, one appearing from the head of another, another from the shoulders of another, faces amidst faces, all going upwards, numerous yet all together forming a single image of feminine beauty in the form of a tree. It was easy to see in the combination of shadow and light cast upon tree stumps or lonely bushes the recapitulation of the alchemical process, of stone becoming a plant, and then the plant morphing into a forest animal from whose head in turn a black bird took form, ready to spring into the interstellar darkness, the source of the material world of fragmentation. It was easy to see the same process in reverse when some creature active only in the nocturnal time and prancing nearby the road stood still, for it seemed as if in the rigid stance the animal grew roots linking it to the Earth. But the easiest thing to see were the faces, faces that appeared in the zone where darkness danced hand in hand with the albicant illumination of the moon, faces that perpetually morphed, becoming more equinelike only to take the forms of satyrs or gryphons moments later, faces that seemed familiar yet distant, faces that wanted to meet somepony who could listen to their story, which was the story of the world since the time ponies first stepped on the virgin soil of the Equestrian land, or maybe which predated even that, or who could paint them, give them form so that others could hear the song of the ancestors, of the elementals, of Nature itself.
– It's not what I thought it to be, Rainbow Dash said, her voice lonely, distant in the quietness of the night.
– Why? Fluttershy said. Spaced out a little. Happens. Love it around here, even at night: wonders of the underworld. Pegasi must live above. Wanted to go underneath in the company of animals. You must be that, do that. Idiocy.
– Everything is, eh, is, eh, it's backwards, Rainbow said, walking on Fluttershy's right side. They say one thing, then do another. It doesn't matter how fast, good or spectacular do you fly. If you're their friend, you get everything. You fly with them at shows, signs autographs, all that stuff. If you're not, expect nothing, zilch. Can you believe I've never been on a show?
– Really? Fluttershy, surprised, said. You're the best out there. Everypony knows.
– They say I make them look bad. You see, when I fly, I leave a rainbow behind, while they leave thunder. They said if I would fly with them, they would lose their reputation and their fame and their money and their position in Canterlot. Did I tell you about Canterlot races?
– No
– Well, the point of the game is that you fly through an arena. The fastest pony wins, in theory. In practice, all the wonderbolts who play this game arrange between themselves who what position receives before the game. And you know why? Because the winner gets fame in Canterlot and gets higher in Wonderbolt ranks. The losers are promised that they will win another time or some other favour or prize. They kicked me out of it when I decided to do it the way I felt was right.
– That sounds awful, Fluttershy said.
– That's not all, Rainbow Dash continued, angry and sad, disillusioned. Also they need to be more spontaneous. They do the same thing over and over and over. I don't know what happened to me, but it doesn't look as good as when I was a filly. It feels simple, dull. But when they do changes, they usually steal from others. They didn't allow me to perform, but took my tricks and used them. And they were my role models, my heroes.
– So, um, you tried to do something extremely extreme, but something went wrong and you ended up here? Fluttershy said, getting closer to Dash. Don't want to see her sad. Makes me sad. Always mad. They were never for you. More of a catalyst. Helped to find your orbit, your passion. Desire to join them: inferiourity complex. Killer is your lover. By mocking they destroyed your beauty. Mine also. They were sleeping. Sky: your place.
– You know me well, Rainbow Dash sighed, half smiling. I wanted to do something so extreme and cool only I could reproduce. I slipped, couldn't regain balance, hit the ground. It was the last straw. I reached my limit in that place. It was so wrong being there all on your own. Alone.
– I don't think it was that bad, Fluttershy said as they started ascending a grassy hill. You must have made some friends there. How about Soarin? He seems nice.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
– Well, eh, you know what they say about colts that are handsome, intelligent, nice, and caring? It's true, all of it. And besides, what kind of element of loyalty I am if I forget about my best, best friend at the first whim?
As to accentuate her words, Dash nudged slightly Fluttershy's rump with her flank, her rainbow tail passing over Fluttershy's thighs.
Fluttershy smiled, blushing. Like back in the days. Out of time and out of space. Repossession of innocence lost. Quietness, nature, moon: self ascending from ecstasy to ecstasy. My dreams are made by the dust from the moon.
– Also, Rainbow Dash continued, he said the wonderbolts wasn't a place for somepony like me, that they will only restrict me, keep me back. He said if I wanted to become a wonderbolt - a real wonderbolt - I must be ready to abandon everything I hold dear.
– The training implied the reverse, Fluttershy interrupted Rainbow.
– That's one level, Rainbow said. Remember Rainbow Falls? That's them on the inside, in Canterlot.
– That's horrifying.
– Yeah, that's terrible. I didn't believe it first, thought if I would show them my skills they would be impressed and take me in their ranks. Now I understand why they didn't do anything to me every time I saved them or showed awesome tricks, and why they actually needed me in their team for the games.
Having reached the top of the hills, the two mares stopped in unison, enthralled by the opening vistas of tenebrous woods, shady valleys, and the dark waters reflecting back the silver of the moon. Ahead the tall, ancient trees of the Everfree forest could be seen, and nearby them a round house shining little points of yellow through its windows stood. Till the hamlet a long road remained for the two ponies, passing up and down several smaller hills and going above a tranquil stream.
– I can't even remember how many times I dreamed about Ponyville, these lands, my friends, you, Rainbow broke the silence, eyes transfixed on the nocturnal landscape. I thought I would feel fine and good at the wonderbolts academy, but I always thought of you, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Spike, Tank, about the skies here, about my job, how I used to kick the clouds and then practice whatever and however I wanted, with you and others cheering me up. It wasn't the big crowd I wanted, but it was nice. Very nice. I think I was really happy here, not there. It's like I got everything backwards.
– It's not too late to return, Fluttershy said. Our curse: looking for things that are always in front of us: are fish aware of water? He was right. Need shock to realize this, to see what's in front of you. Longest way round is the shortest way home. Life, love: the secret word: seventy two.
– But I boasted about it to everypony. They want to see me amongst the wonderbolts.
– What about you? What do you want, Rainbow?
– I...I still feel ashamed. I let everyone who believed me down. What about Scootaloo? I'm a hero for her.
– You can show her that you don't need to belong to a special group in order to be happy, that you simply need to find the thing you like doing the most and rejoice in it.
– I don't know, Rainbow Dash, confused, said.
– All will be forgotten, Fluttershy said, wrapping her forehooves around Dash's neck. And all will be well.
– Are you sure?
– Uh-uh. Everypony around wants you to be happy. It will bring more sadness and distress if they don't see you happy. It shows. I saw it when you were here the last time. I think others also noticed, but I saw it immediately.
Fluttershy freed Rainbow Dash from her hug and looked into her sad yet alive and vibrant eyes, a meeting of magenta and blue-green.
– Promise that no matter what happens, no matter how far from each other we'll go - and I'm saying about all of us - you'll try to do one thing only: be happy. For me. For you. Please.
– I promise, Rainbow Dash, smiling, said. And I am happy. Here. Always were.
After an exchange of smiles, the two mares set up on the road down the hill, walking slowly, no thing awaiting them tomorrow, no time existing. Fluttershy slowly walked closer and closer to Rainbow Dash, now in a lighter mood than in the beginning. Beautiful. Even dirty looks great. Many memories. By coincidence always end up with each other. Rubbed too much together: teenage lightning. Never will fall apart: harmony.
– You know what? Rainbow Dash broke the silence, her usual cocky smile creeping back onto her face. I don't think we'll all get away from each other, in the elements of harmony sense and in our friendship sense.
– You think? Fluttershy said. I know.
– Yeah. Remember how we first met in elementary school?
– Yes, Fluttershy said. You were crying, hurt because others called you names after you failed to do that trick. Everyone left, you cried. I saw you, got closer. You started to insult me. I didn't care. You were seeing yourself in me. Knew that, stayed, hugged you. You cried, then stopped, hugged me back. Stayed like that till the sunset. Everything else is our story. My baby shot me down.
– And how we felt when we graduated from elementary school? Rainbow Dash continued, moving closer to Fluttershy. And then how by coincidence we encountered each other again in high school? And after that in Cloudsdale college? And then here?
– Yes, Fluttershy said thoughtfully. Pain of separation is nothing, pleasure of dissolution all. Coincidance. Meant for each other. Guardian angels: beauty.
– I think, if the pattern is right, we'll end up together no matter what. Just like today. It's an euphoric feel, like everything's, eh, right, where it should be. I feel it best when I'm with you.
Fluttershy spread her right wing, covered Rainbow Dash's body with it, and whispered jokingly into Rainbow Dash's left ear:
– Your blood is my blood.
– I know, Rainbow Dash, grinning, said. Best friends forever.
– Forever. I promise, Fluttershy whispered into Dash's ear, and then put her head on Dash's neck. And even when we're not together, remember that in dreams you're mine all of the time.
The smell of Rainbow Dash's body - sweaty, dirty, yet fresh like ozone - Fluttershy enjoyed for a long time in silence, her warm breath blowing against the blue mare's neck, the tips of her wings caressing the blue mare's right side. Smell good. Always smelled good. In bed, smelling, hugging, licking. Amongst flower beds, beneath trees, in shady groves and tranquil pools. On the clouds high up in the sky: the best. The way we were doing. Don't drink silver. Only eat gold. Only drink golden liquids. Tingly and warm all over. Golden mares. White mares. Rare mares. Good morning, mares. Likes when I breathe behind her ear, kiss her there. Should I plant one? On the neck also. Space mares. Passion mares. Summer mares. We are little mares.
– I guess it means you wouldn't be mad if I stayed the night with you? Rainbow Dash said, smiling naughtily as a response to Fluttershy's kisses. Her tail went up and lay on Fluttershy's flank, then slid down her thighs.
– As it would have gone otherwise, Fluttershy said, half smile on her face, eyes distant, loving.
Rainbow Dash pushed her tail underneath Fluttershy's pink one, then brought it up, right to the point where Fluttershy's tail began, and started moving it down the thighs as lightly as possible. And then up again. And then down.
Fluttershy felt the bottom in her stomach drop, legs barely holding her, shivers rising up her spine. Knows how to get me. House nearby. Wait a little. Heaviness, warmth, wetness: drip drop: bounce comes the first drop of this vital fluid. Curse the stains you caused me to leak out of my body. When we'll get home will eat you up, every last drop of your honey. Then will lick the bed sheets, lick it and suck it and suck it and lick it. Faster, mares.
– You know what I want? Rainbow Dash asked, her warm breath against Fluttershy's neck, her tail twirling against the inner side of Fluttershy's thighs. A warm bath with you and then a crunchy lunch. And do you remember I like it backwards, backfirst, underneath, in perverse, in reverse?
– I promise we'll go back today, further back, and faster, Fluttershy responded and planted another soft kiss, soft and as the summer breeze warm, on Rainbow's neck. The eyes of a mare, the lips of a mare, the kiss of a mare, the smell of a mare and her secret secretions. Can't take it. The everlasting fire, cobra of my desire. Interpenetration. How much did I miss it. The shivering, the perishing in her giddy games.
– What about Discord?
– Don't worry about him, Fluttershy said, rubbing her head against Dash's neck. He won't bother us a single bit.
– Are you sure?
– Trust me.
– Okay, Dash said. But if you're lying, then you know what you'll miss. But you never lie.
Last words spoken, Dash planted a kiss on the right angle of Fluttershy's mouth, the point of her tail circling now around the yellow mare's belly, avoiding at all costs the garden of Fluttershy's joy.
Fluttershy felt her marehood wink from excitement, knees extremely weak. As a way to get back, Fluttershy pressed tightly against Rainbow Dash with the help of her wing, then pushed her tail underneath the blue pegasus, and started caressing her whole underside, right from her neck, across her chest, down her belly, right at the place where the folds of her marehood came together stopping. Wet, warm, hot. You're shaking all over. No way back, my angel. Wait a little. Your pleaser, annoyer, and voyeur will meet you around the corner, at the back door to paradise. Like in the past. What I wouldn't I give to see that school where we used to live. Laid all day exclusively in bed. Hello, mares.
The two ponies, heads touching, tails with each other bodies playing, passed over the bridge, but being absorbed in dalliance not the blue nor the yellow one noticed the silver reflection of the moon in the ever flowing waters.
Fluttershy, usually noticing every detail of Nature's beauty throughout the day, was flooded by intense sensations bombarding her body; by the overall tingling and warmth; by the pleasant streamings of charged electric energy that made her feel like her body was melting and whose passage through her body made her shake uncontrollably; by the pleasantly aching marehood, all hot and wet like the jungles in the south; by Rainbow's presence on her right, which she missed the most and didn't realize how much she missed till she met Rainbow again. Made for each other: mutual attraction. At night we are one single spirit of Desire. Come close your eyes. Awaken from evil dreams. So good almost religious. That pony and her friends are wrong. True mystical experience is extremely sexual. Their desire is weak if they can chain it. Achieved much with our adventures. You too. Will always be with you, your holy guardian angel. Just call me. I'll be. We're here. On fire. Whole body turned on. Back is tingling so strong. Will explode. Love: the great work. No more resistance.
As they stepped on the porch of Fluttershy's cottage after a long journey, the two mares unhooked each other, their faces merely inches apart, their warm breaths mingling and further them arousing . Fluttershy cast a quick glance over Rainbow Dash under the weak light of the porch and found the sight heartwarming, beautiful, sexual. The cuts, bruises, and the dirty mane nothwithstanding, Rainbow looked alive as ever, even glowing; in fact, the wounds gave her a younger look, returning her the appearance of that rash, impulsive, innocent filly Fluttershy had fallen in love with a long time ago. Her magenta eyes gleamed with the intense energy that was the basis of all existence, and although sadness was still present in them, it was sadness slowly conquered by joy. Fluttershy's eyes, however, looked at Rainbow's behind; where a long diamond clear filament hung from between her legs set apart wider than usual, her rainbow tail lifted. Under the yellow illumination of the porch, it glimmered golden like: dew of immortality. How much Fluttershy wanted to collect it all with her long tongue, drop after drop, stream after stream, face on fire from the heat coming from between Rainbow's legs.
– You know you don't look any better, Rainbow said, and swiped with her tail Fluttershy's right thigh, touching with the tail’s end Fluttershy's sexually raging nethers, making the yellow horse jump from surprise.
– See, Rainbow Dash said as she brought close to Fluttershy's face her rainbow tail, wet and shimmering from the large amounts of sexual secretions.
Rainbow Dash smiled as Fluttershy blushed; however, as soon as their eyes met, everything suddenly became clear, innocent.
As the two friends looked at each other, smiling, both of them were overwhelmed by pure, innocent joy. It was the feeling they had back in childhood, when nothing really mattered because you were right in touch with the symphony of the world, the same process that brings the changes of the seasons, the passing of years, and the circling of stars, and you knew deep in your heart that you could never be afraid of anything and never really do anything wrong because the whole world was on your side, at your progress smiling, your smiles loving, your closest friend, parent, teacher, and lover at the same time. Looking into each other eyes, looks of the most loving and tender quality sharing, like children upon contact for the first time with the world smiling, the two friends shared the innocent folly of supreme wisdom between them, not anymore separated from the whole world, but united with it in harmony total, two drops in the ocean, the whole ocean in the two drops.
At that moment everything, absolutely everything - stars shining above them, leaves rustling from the wind, the lantern swinging above them and casting a warm yellow glow, a distant cry of some nocturnal creature, cicadas swirling in the groves, liquids dripping between their hind legs, scratches on Rainbow's body, and even the clattering coming from inside Fluttershy's cottage - seemed totally fine, immaculate, pure, of all concepts free, with peace indescribable infused, and exactly at the place where they needed to be, not a single gust of wind or falling leaf out of order; and it seemed that no matter what would happen even to the infinitesimal particle in the universe it still wouldn't break the silent symphony of absolute harmony.
At that moment the whole universe for both of them was just perfection.
Just perfection.
